#breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Imagine you're on a comedown, dragging a microphone across a sheet of ice listening to the sounds within and deciding whether they'd be good for music.

You hear two people approaching you and look up. They're militia officers, they're plain clothes militia officers which means they're detectives and have likely been at their jobs for as long as you've been alive.

The bigger one asks if you're cold and offers you his hat, when you say no he proceeds to have a screaming, crying meltdown about it and breaks down in sobs. His partner leads him to the side to have, I don't know, a pep talk and then they return.

The smaller officer then proceeds to *really badly* pretend to be addicted to amphetamines and tries to buy drugs off you. You tell him the drugs (that he used the full chemical name of, like a cop) he's asking after are old-fashioned and he seems perturbed when you tell him the sort of drugs kids take these days.

The bigger one then tells you he might be a homosexual.

The smaller one is wearing a revolutionary pilot's uniform for some reason.

#i love acele #disco elysium #acele berger #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[tiphansia]

Tumblr diary entry

Things I learned/accomplished at therapy jail:

1. I learned that I too have problems. When I first got there I didn't feel as if I had any problems, I minimized my struggles and didn't let myself acknowledge that I needed help. Even though my problems may or may not be better/worse than other people's, if I am struggling then they are just as valid as everyone else's. This is still a hard one for me and I am still having trouble with it.

2. I learned that triggers are a real thing and I have them. Before I kind of though triggers were things people made up to be special or just to avoid stuff they didn't want to discuss. This view of mine was remedied though and after I was taught what the exact definition was I learned that I have a few of my own. I partially worked through one of them too so that's cool.

3. I explored my issues with shame and self-loathing. I had never thought about these issues in a therapeutic light so it was interesting to uncover the connections between all of my issues. I was also able to hate myself a little less, although unfortunately I still need to work on not hating others due to my feelings about myself.

4. I learned that I self-harm in a lot of ways, some of which are not physical. I don't think I dealt with this in therapy but now that it's on my radar I can work on it.

5. I learned to trust others and be vulnerable. Given how much I overshare online, with this post being a prime example, you'd think this wouldn't be a problem. But in real life I was/am extremely mistrustful of everyone and assumed betrayal was imminent. I made some breakthroughs in terms of sharing IRL and letting go of control. On a related note, I also learned just how much some past incidents affected me. It's interesting how events that don't look so bad from the outside can affect a person involved much more than can be predicted.

Anyways that's all the major stuff that I learned :-)

Stuff I didn't work on:

1. Resentment and constant anger. At the program I was never angry pretty much ever, but at home it's a different story. No acceptable solutions have presented themselves yet.

2. Escapism. Every time I'm mildly upset or uncomfortable I immediately retreat into my head or, if available, the internet, which makes it hard to be present/in the moment. While the internet can be taken away, there's no way to solve the mind aspect of it.

Ok that's all.

#q speaks #tip speaks

[rainy--dayys]

I never loved you - Peter Parker x Reader

Prompt: You and Peter have been dating for a while now and everything’s going great, or so you thought.

Words: 1089

Warning: Angst with fluffy memories, not at all proof read, Mysterio never reveal Peter’s identity because we live in a little place called denial.

A/N: I have written something very similar to this a long long time ago and don’t think I did it justice, hopefully this makes up for it! I have a part 2 in mind but don’t wanna post it if this part sucks hahah so let me know!

“I-I can’t do this anymore (Y/N).” he bursts out, breaking the silence and effectively also my heart because nothing good ever follows those five unforgiving words. “Can’t do what Petey?”

Peter and I had been sat atop my apartment complex building, myself reading and Peter in his Spidey suit after a long night of patrol. We had been sat in silence for the last half-an-hour, myself wrapped in a blanked and reading my favourite novel and then there’s Peter who could not sit any further away from me, awkwardly playing with his mask as if searching for the right words to say. I figured he didn’t curl into me like normal because he was kinda dirty after patrolling but I’m starting to think otherwise.

There’s an unnerving pause which causes my already relentlessly beating heart to kick it up to alarming levels. I’m looking Peter directly in the eyes and he is doing everything in his power to avoid mine.

“This okay, I just” a loud, audible sigh can be heard over the bustle of the city bellow, “I never wanted to hurt you and I-I never meant to drag you into my mess and take it this far.”

One of the things I love about my Peter is that when he’s nervous he takes his calloused fingers and runs them through his gorgeous locks. Not loving that trait so much at the moment as he tugs at his hair in frustration.

“Take what too far Peter? You’re starting to scare me.” I don’t get what’s happening. One minute we’re enjoying a beautiful vacation, minus all the disaster and backstabbing, and the next he’s breaking up with me.

Not my Peter.

He wouldn’t do that, would he?

I turned my body to fully face him, watching as he stood up and then paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair and looking as though he’s having an inner war with himself.

“I never loved you okay?” he blurted out, eyes wide and almost shocked that he even said it out loud, “I never loved you”.

There it is, the imminent heartbreak. White noise rings in my ears as those words run over and over in my head, I never loved you I never loved you I never loved you. Tears breakthrough the ducts and torrent their way down my cheeks and onto the book in front of me.

The only thing I can think of is that this is some form of sick joke, a dream maybe? So, as I watch peter avoid looking in my direction, I pinch myself. I pinch and I pinch until I’m pretty certain I’ve drawn blood but I couldn’t care less if it means waking up from this awful nightmare.

“Stop playing around Petey, it isn’t funny.” The ideas of a dream fading away as reality sinks in.

“I’m not (Y/N), I really wish I was but-“

“I just don’t understand. Was it something I did? Something I said?” His head snaps up at my words as he stops pacing, brown eyes meeting my own for the first time, instead of love and admiration in those beautiful orbs, frustration and annoyance poured into my soul. I hadn’t realised but my feet had carried me towards him, now just meters apart.

“You don’t get it, do you? Its just you alright! I never wanted to be with you in the first place but, I pitied you. You pining over me and chasing after me like a lost dog, you looked stupid and I felt bad for you!”

I stumbled backwards, his words like knives in my heart, piercing it repeatedly. The original phrase that was once coursing through my thoughts is now replaced with every happy memory of Peter and I, labouring my breathing a clogging my thoughts.

Peter and I at the park, pushing each other on the swings. Peter and I at the zoo, cuddling koalas and petting kangaroos. Peter and I doing homework, giggling at poorly-timed jokes and falling asleep tangled in books.

All these memories are now tainted. Tainted by the thought that while we were at the park, Peter was faking his obnoxiously loud laugh to fool me. Tainted by the idea that when we were at the zoo, Peter wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but with me. Tainted by the knowledge that those countless study dates meant absolutely nothing to him.

Oh god, I can’t do this. I can’t breathe, this is all happening to fast.

“That’s not-I don’t-“

“Christ (Y/N) just stop trying to make sense of it and realise that I never cared about you.” He yelled angrily, clearly wanting me to get the hint and get this over with.

“I was lonely after Liz left and that’s it.”

“That’s it? Its over between us just like that?” I am now furious. How dare he try and shrug this whole situation off.

“You expect me to believe that my goofy, clumsy, lovable boyfriend who writes me adorable little notes in fourth period and recites cheesy pick up lines has never loved me?” Tears are now streaming down my face at a rapid pace and I don’t even try to hide it. He did this so he can look at the pain he’s caused me.

Silence. His mouth catching flies and eyes wide, shocked at my sudden turn in attitude.

“You’re telling me that our entire relationship is based on lies?” I am certain that the whole of Queens can hear this argument. The yelling, the pacing, the fact that Peter is literally dressed in a red and blue suit.

“Get it through you’re head (Y/N), I don’t love you and I never did. Don’t try and reach me, you aren’t worth my time.” Peter murmured the last part, barely audible but I heard it. Even the loud New York streets couldn’t mask the bitterness in his tone. With that, Peter put on his mask and swung away. I watched as his figure disappeared into the New York skyline.

I waited until he was definitely out of ear shot and completely broke down. Dropping to my knees and letting out an ear piecing cry, anguish and despair laced within it.

I stayed like that for what felt like hours, lying on the roof top and waiting to wake up from this nightmare I’m certainly living, pinching myself every so often as tears pool underneath me, Peters taxing words playing on repeat.

I never loved you I never loved you I never loved you.

-

A/N: Let me know what you think so I can make a part 2! :))

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #tom holland imagines #spiderman #spiderman imagines

[preciousmetals0]

Bitcoin Price Charts Hint at the Most Exciting Breakout in Over a Year

Bitcoin Price Charts Hint at the Most Exciting Breakout in Over a Year:

The price of the top-ranked cryptocurrency by market capitalization, Bitcoin (BTC), is set to explode in the coming week providing the weekly candle opens above $9,200. This would signal the end of a 46-week descending channel that BTC/USD has been locked in since it nearly tapped $14,000 in the summer of 2019. 

So is this the time to expect a new all-time high from the leading digital asset? 

Daily crypto market performance. Source: Coin360.com

The weekly view 

BTC USD weekly chart. Source: TradingView

At the time of writing, the price of Bitcoin is currently trading over $9,500. It almost seems inevitable that closing above $9,200 is a sure thing. But there are no definite results when it comes to Bitcoin. 

However, with renewed post-halving retail interest it certainly does look likely, especially since Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling recently tweeting to her 14.6 million followers asking for someone to explain Bitcoin to her. This may certainly spark renewed public interest in BTC. Though, if crypto Twitter didn’t blow it by acting like baboons with cringeworthy replies that no one found funny, the chances of this would be higher.

Resistance flips to support

BTC USD daily chart. Source: TradingView

Moving over to the daily Bitcoin chart, and we can see that the previous resistance on the descending channel has now flipped to support, and using the Fibonacci retracement tool, it provides a little glimpse of where Bitcoin could go next. 

The price is currently sitting just under .618, making the next immediate moves either being to the upside around $11,600 (.786) or to the downside around $8,790. 

While a move to the downside is always a possibility, if that happens in the week ahead, it would mean that the support on both the daily and weekly has failed, which would not be good for Bitcoin.

However, each week that support gets lower within the channel. So while I’m generally bullish on Bitcoin at the moment, I don’t think a breakthrough of $10K again would hold for long — not until we start seeing a new path emerge on the charts. 

Daily MACD shows signs of a reversal 

BTC USD daily MACD chart Source: TradingView

While the charts generally look bullish on higher time frames, some indicators on lower time frames are starting to show signs of weakness. The moving average convergence divergence (MACD) indicator, recently saw a bearish cross, and despite nearly crossing bullish a few days later, it has since resumed a downward trajectory. 

Given that the weekly MACD is still looking very bullish, I wouldn’t be too worried about this in the medium term. However, in the short term, it looks as if a small pullback is imminent as people rush to take pre-10K level profits, which I would view as a temporary pullback.

The Relative Strength Index

The RSI is looking equally bearish on the daily chart as it’s approaching overbought territory. However, you have to keep in mind that during 2017 the RSI was constantly showing as overbought and it just kept going. 

That being said, if you look at the weekly chart, we’re not even there yet, which suggests that while a small pullback is likely, overall it’s looking good for the price of Bitcoin in the medium term. 

Mining difficulty reduction

BTC Mining Difficulty Adjustment Source: BTC.com

Another key metric that has proved useful in assessing the future price of Bitcoin is the Bitcoin mining difficulty, which at the moment is starting to decline and is set to be reduced by over 2% next week.  

However, with the halving now behind us, more adjustments to the downside are to be expected since mining is currently no longer profitable. Yet despite this, there has been a surge in hash rate, topping out an average of 115 EH/s, which is an all-time high for BTC. That’s 115 quintillion (115,000,000,000,000,000,000) hashes per second. 

Historically, when the hash rate is rising, the price always follows, and as this number continues to explode, it seems only likely that Bitcoins price will follow suit. 

Bullish scenario 

Closing above $9,200 today will be the single most bullish sign that Bitcoin has seen since before the 2017 bull run. This would put $9,980 as the next level of resistance before opening up $11,600 as the next target.  

Bearish scenario 

Not managing to hold above $9,200 would put $8,790 as the first level of support followed by $7,600. However, at this stage, a bearish outlook for Bitcoin is simply not something I see as likely. Even if the price fell to $8,790, I would still maintain a bullish bias. Nevertheless, losing this level would drastically reduce the likelihood of an imminent bull run.

The views and opinions expressed here are solely those of @officiallykeith and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cointelegraph. Every investment and trading move involves risk. You should conduct your own research when making a decision.

[goldira01]

The price of the top-ranked cryptocurrency by market capitalization, Bitcoin (BTC), is set to explode in the coming week providing the weekly candle opens above $9,200. This would signal the end of a 46-week descending channel that BTC/USD has been locked in since it nearly tapped $14,000 in the summer of 2019. 

So is this the time to expect a new all-time high from the leading digital asset? 

Daily crypto market performance. Source: Coin360.com

The weekly view 

BTC USD weekly chart. Source: TradingView

At the time of writing, the price of Bitcoin is currently trading over $9,500. It almost seems inevitable that closing above $9,200 is a sure thing. But there are no definite results when it comes to Bitcoin. 

However, with renewed post-halving retail interest it certainly does look likely, especially since Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling recently tweeting to her 14.6 million followers asking for someone to explain Bitcoin to her. This may certainly spark renewed public interest in BTC. Though, if crypto Twitter didn’t blow it by acting like baboons with cringeworthy replies that no one found funny, the chances of this would be higher.

Resistance flips to support

BTC USD daily chart. Source: TradingView

Moving over to the daily Bitcoin chart, and we can see that the previous resistance on the descending channel has now flipped to support, and using the Fibonacci retracement tool, it provides a little glimpse of where Bitcoin could go next. 

The price is currently sitting just under .618, making the next immediate moves either being to the upside around $11,600 (.786) or to the downside around $8,790. 

While a move to the downside is always a possibility, if that happens in the week ahead, it would mean that the support on both the daily and weekly has failed, which would not be good for Bitcoin.

However, each week that support gets lower within the channel. So while I’m generally bullish on Bitcoin at the moment, I don’t think a breakthrough of $10K again would hold for long — not until we start seeing a new path emerge on the charts. 

Daily MACD shows signs of a reversal 

BTC USD daily MACD chart Source: TradingView

While the charts generally look bullish on higher time frames, some indicators on lower time frames are starting to show signs of weakness. The moving average convergence divergence (MACD) indicator, recently saw a bearish cross, and despite nearly crossing bullish a few days later, it has since resumed a downward trajectory. 

Given that the weekly MACD is still looking very bullish, I wouldn’t be too worried about this in the medium term. However, in the short term, it looks as if a small pullback is imminent as people rush to take pre-10K level profits, which I would view as a temporary pullback.

The Relative Strength Index

The RSI is looking equally bearish on the daily chart as it’s approaching overbought territory. However, you have to keep in mind that during 2017 the RSI was constantly showing as overbought and it just kept going. 

That being said, if you look at the weekly chart, we’re not even there yet, which suggests that while a small pullback is likely, overall it’s looking good for the price of Bitcoin in the medium term. 

Mining difficulty reduction

BTC Mining Difficulty Adjustment Source: BTC.com

Another key metric that has proved useful in assessing the future price of Bitcoin is the Bitcoin mining difficulty, which at the moment is starting to decline and is set to be reduced by over 2% next week.  

However, with the halving now behind us, more adjustments to the downside are to be expected since mining is currently no longer profitable. Yet despite this, there has been a surge in hash rate, topping out an average of 115 EH/s, which is an all-time high for BTC. That’s 115 quintillion (115,000,000,000,000,000,000) hashes per second. 

Historically, when the hash rate is rising, the price always follows, and as this number continues to explode, it seems only likely that Bitcoins price will follow suit. 

Bullish scenario 

Closing above $9,200 today will be the single most bullish sign that Bitcoin has seen since before the 2017 bull run. This would put $9,980 as the next level of resistance before opening up $11,600 as the next target.  

Bearish scenario 

Not managing to hold above $9,200 would put $8,790 as the first level of support followed by $7,600. However, at this stage, a bearish outlook for Bitcoin is simply not something I see as likely. Even if the price fell to $8,790, I would still maintain a bullish bias. Nevertheless, losing this level would drastically reduce the likelihood of an imminent bull run.

The views and opinions expressed here are solely those of @officiallykeith and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cointelegraph. Every investment and trading move involves risk. You should conduct your own research when making a decision.

#Timor Invest

[artsyarchangel-blog]

GunBreaker Chapter 1 Part 3

7

Slowly, people started to come around to me. “He might be a troll, but isn't he way to serious about this? Like, we are the ones making fun of him, this can't be entertaining for him anymore...”

“Maybe he is just legitimately insane.”

“Or maybe he has a point...”

“What, erase all guns from this planet? This is bullshit.”

It was at a very sluggish pace, yet I could see some positivity. People started to doubt themselves, maybe, just maybe there was some truth to my teachings. The hit count on my blog and on my channel also climbed steadily and some people were even saying they “might look into this”.

An euphoric feeling in my chest, I was even more resolved. Do you see, Hermes? We can do it, people can help themselves, you just have to be persistent in spreading the truth.

Now I really started to break the law though, it wasn't enough to just spread my message online, I wanted everyone to know, be it the net-generation, kids my age or the old man, who never quite got the hang of technology. Everyone needed to know what happened behind these walls and how we can change it. So I bought some spray-cans, pulled a hoodie over my face and hit the town, as soon as the sun went down. “Wake up, sheeps!” “Gunbreaker will liberate you!” these phrases were soon spread all over the walls, underneath some brigdes or on the broad site of a train. Pretty clumsily too, I'm sure it was hard to read, especially at night, but it was there, in their faces and I felt proud and accomplished. Flyers I threw all over the walkways, the adresse of my net-blog written on it. I certainly gave the police enough reason to go after me and in hindsight, this was so absolutely moronic!

Given everything I knew or believed to know, how could I pull such a stunt?!

If they caught me, they would have straight up put a bullet into my head or maybe torture me for information first. Teenagers really feel like they are invincible, it's scary... .

My actions were certainly noticed, even if I the city was huge and I only vandalised a really small district. My home district, incidentally, so stupid, the thought makes me cringe.

Just how wrong this all could have gone...

Pictures were taken and posted on the net, feeding my myth, the myth of the Gunbreaker. Seriously, at this point, I was like an urban legend, everyone talked about me.

“Did you see? It was written all over the district!”

“Yes, I go through there on my way to work, was it really him?”

“This happened in Ravenstar, right? So weird...is this an uprising?”

Now the circle of people who really knew about my ideals was still relatively small, I might blow it a little out of proportion. I certainly wasn't e-famous and I also never got any news-coverage on a big network. Thank God. But people recognized my name and I received messages, almost daily. Hate-mail mostly, but slowly, there were words of encouragement.

Outside of all the fuss, I never told anyone, not a single person in my admittedly small, social circle. At least I had that much foresight, as if I wasn't bullied enough at school, running around, throwing conspiracy theories around would have only made it worse. But the school talked about the Gunbreaker, obviously, it was their town that was dirtied by all the ugly graffiti, impossible for them to miss it. It wasn't all that interesting, the gossip in my class, just a mirror of the internet comments, only voiced this time. Well I didn't attend school all too frequently anyway, so I only catched some snippets. When my friends talked about it, I felt like a masked vigilante, some kind of superhero and when they asked me about my opinion I just said:”Meh, probably some loser living in his mom´s basement.” Gotta keep it cool after all, can't raise any suspicion.

This went on for a while, my popularity steadily rising and as other people started to look into the matter, researching, basically asking what the hell actually happened behind these walls in their own, long blog-posts, I received another E-Mail. “Bloodedge” , that was the name displayed as the sender and of course I remembered him, it wasn't so long ago. Curiously I opened his message:

“Yo, man! The Net is on fire, you're really making a change! Well, that's how I feel at least, but the bois over at HERMES don't really share my opinion. They're probs just jelly, right? Anyway, if there is anything I can do to help, totally tell me. We're going to tear their asses down, these government shitbags.”

This was great, I had my own sidekick. Naturally, I motivated him further, told him simply to imitate my actions. In other words, hit his district the same way I hit mine. I think they call that “Inciting an offence”, add this to my growing criminal record. He did it, too! The next day I saw a bunch of pictures, sprayed words similar to my own work, even signed as the GunBreaker.

Again, the clicks kept on coming and more conspirators joined me.

They introduced themselves rather similar to my dear and bloody assistent, ready to prove themselves after Hermes couldn't give them what they were seeking. The thrill of a real revolution, it was the same thing I was looking for after all. I was way in over my head here, some teenager leading a rebellion.

But as young folk tend to do, I simply didn't give a shit about that, just doing what I thought was right, no matter the consequences. In a way, that's rather admirable, even we adults should take some risks from time to time, standing up for what we believe in. Let's be real though, I wasn't all that idealistic, as i said, I was just a bored teenager. The only weird thing is, despite all that, despite the growing scale of the little Gunbreaker-operation, the police never came after us, they never conducted an investigation and they never silently arrested us. Was that it, the power of the five Warlords, the quiet power leading our very lives. Laughable, I only grew more confident as time went on. More and more people believed us, our voices were heard, questions were asked and even the media started to show interest!

Once, on an ordinary day, the sky bleak and covered with grey clouds, someone wrote his query into a rather popular forum. That he'd like to look into these allegations, that he started to believe that there was something wrong in our world and that he'd find the ones responsible and expose them. A huge report on a major tv-network was about to happen, as soon as he'd got the clear of his editor and then nobody could pretend they didn't see the lies anymore.

Yes, this was it! The breakthrough, the final attack. First we would riot and save our glorious Metropolis Ravenstar and then, after we achieved this, the other four cities would be next.

Beware, Warlords, this was the day of your reckoning!

This reporter guy, he never gave his name, since it could put him at risk, promised to interview me personally, the legendary Gunbreaker! We even set a date, obviously we would communicate via  video, so I should get a cool looking mask. As I browsed through various online shops in the search of my perfect outfit (thank god I never actually got the chance to wear any of it, my personal favorite was the glowing skull-mask after all) the day of the scheduled interview drew ever closer.

And as it arrived, I never heard from him again.

No posts, no mails, not a single call. He never left me his contact-info, so there was nothing I could do. Honestly, at this point I think they just killed him, neutralized him before he could become a problem. And this trend continued! Suddenly all my contacts disappeared one after another, never to be heard of again. Now there weren't as well known as I was, but by the time even the Bloodedge vanished, people were spreading dark rumors. That the government finally catched up to them, that they were tortured, probed for information and ultimately killed off.

Fear started to spread, the kind inhabitants of the internet started to wonder if maybe, they should stop talking about war, about massacres behind the wall and return to their quiet, ignorant lifes. While I did my best, really gave it my all to quell these concerns I trembled behind my flat computer-screen. I could barely hit the keyboard, the way my fingers were shaking. This was bad, it was way to weird, how could they all just up and leave? All of them, there was no other explanation, something happened to them.

And I would be next.

Will they at least keep my family alive? They never did anything wrong after all, why should they suffer for my reckless crimes. Really it was a dread I would not feel for many years afterwards, the imminent threat of my life ending any time now.

But in front of my audience, my fans if you will, I played it cool, Problem was, nobody cared about me anymore, it was all just about these mysterious disappearences, so slowly, my message died down.

It was then that I received a light in my darkness, a ray of hope that might just save me. I had a high opinion of Hermes after all, so soon I found myself face to face with him again. Figuratively speaking of course. He didn't waste any time bringing his point across.

HERMES: We wish to cooperate. Your cause is a just one, however, the ship you set out with received crippling damage and won't be able to carry you to your destination. How about you board our vessel instead? After all, our destination remains the same.

Now I could have continued to stay cool, to keep up my composed facade but I was just scared shitless.

GUNBREAKER: Yes! I mean, that is an interesting propostion. Actually, please let's cooperate. Together we might be able to change something.

HERMES: We are acknowledging your position and what you were able to achieve all on your own, so...

GUNBREAKER: Please, just take me under your wing. I don't care if I am just a code monkey or your personal servant!

HERMES:...we would grant you a position befitting of your abilities, at the side of our best and brightest.

After this exchange, there was an awkward silence, no words appeared on the sreen for a while. Cold sweat ran down my back, did I blew it? Did he now think I was absolutely disgusting, some basement-dwelling virgin who lost his mind at the mere sight of danger? Well, I let you know we lived in an appartement, there was no basement.

HERMES: Why don't we continue this personally? We are sure we can work this out and we also understand that you are frightened. It is a difficult position to be in after all, no one here can even imagine how you feel. After all, we'd never draw this kind of attention to ourselves, knowing our dangerous enemy.

I could practically see his mocking smirk. Or theirs, he kept speaking like there's a whole group behind his name.

HERMES: There is an abandoned toy shop not far from your location. We'd like to meet you there, if you feel that you can trust us. Please know that we also put our trust in you, never before have we decided to reveal our face. This offer is not to be taken lightly. Meet us at 2100 tomorrow evening, we will wait for you exactly thirty minutes, but if you fail to arrive in time, there won't be a second chance. We will cease all contact, you will be on your own.

He never even waited for my reply, after he told me of the plan, he was just gone. No chance to talk back, all I could do was follow his directions exactly as told. I actually knew of the toy shop he mentioned, I passed it sometimes on my way to school, when I was feeling adventurous and picked the alternate route and of course I sprayed it with graffiti when I was spreading my message. A huge, kinda creepy building with a giant stuffed bear on top? That certainly attracted attention, a perfect target to vandalize.

So this was to be the place where I'd find my destiny. So be it.

Honestly, I am kinda bluffing here, my actual thought process at this time looked more like:”OHSHIT, whatdoidowhatdoido, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?!”

Even Hermes started to give me some seriously bad vibes, being all smug, so high and mighty. Like he enjoyed my misery. It was a fleeting thought however, then in the end, I had no choice in the matter. They would come for me, whoever they were and they would hurt and kill me and maybe even my family. Never thought that I actually cared that much about my parents and my little sister, but here I was, priotizing their safety over my own.

But why tomorrow, I could barely handle the wait. Feeling antsy all day I hardly slept, always half expecting for someone to break down my door and take me away, dragging me past the corpses of my family members. Indeed, my thoughts went to a real dark place there, but why not? Reasons I had enough, people didn't just vanish off the internet after all. Okay, I mean, they did sometimes, then they surfaced again after weeks or months of absence, it happened. Maybe they just needed a change of pace, a new identity, a new screen-name and a new community. Or maybe their parents grounded them, taking away their internet-access. It was all possible, on an individual level at least. But all of them, in the span of just a few days? Impossible, something got to them, they really died, I was certain of that. Someone like the warlords, they wouldn't just question you and leave you off, scot free and with just a friendly warning. They would silence you, permanently.

To prevent that, I snuck out of the apartement, careful to wake no one up as I treaded carefully through the living room and out of the door, closing as slowly as I possibly could. Not an easy task, considering my shaking arms, but I managed to do it. Frankly, this wasn't the first time, obviously, though I was never this anxious before, somehow, back then there seemed to be no stakes involved.

Dressed in a grey hoodie, concealing my face god knows why I slowly walked down the stairs. While it was true that the toy store wasn't far from here, I still had to take the train. Reaching it by foot would have been possible, only I just had an hour left at best, so taking a long walk was out of the question. As I made my way to the station I couldn't help but look around, almost jumping out of my skin at every noise, every stray cat moving about in the shadows. It was almost unbearable, every hair stood on end and my heart seemed to be resolved to burst out of my chest. My breath came hard and fast out between my teeth and I had to steady myself at the corner of a street. Did I have a little panic-attack? It was certainly possible, but I had to compose myself, otherwise i'd attract the eyes I so desperately seeked to avoid. In a way, I already looked up to no good anyway, with the hood covering my face. Like a small, skinny drug dealer, I never dared to take it off though. Like they knew my face, of course they didn't, I just... I was confused, can you really fault me for losing my head a little. So I arrived at the station, there were only a few people, it was late after all and a week day to boot, so I was only surrounded by the night owls of this district. And they looked at me funny, of course they did, some kid with a hood, hands buried deep in his pocket, while looking nervously around, shaking all the while. At least I graduated, from a dealer to an addict.

That was fine, it was alright if they perceived me like that as long as no one could identify me as the rumored, the infamous Gunbreaker! I gripped my shaking arm, hard enough until it started to sting and I had to clench my teeth. It was time to end this, never again would I speak that name, I learned my lesson, just...let me survive this, I'm begging you, whoever's in charge of my fate, don't let it end here. People around me started to check the time, I could see them looking briefly at their phones, twisting their faces in annoyance.

The train was late, it was plain to see.

But that wasn't actually possible, haha, it couldn't be late, I needed to get their on time. 9 pm, that's what he said, he'd vanish exactly half an hour later, never to contact me again. So it could not be late! My eyes were glued to my phone, displaying 20:35. Not even an hour left, but then again, the train was only five minutes late. He'd arrive any second now, surely.

So while I stood there, in horror on the brightly lit station, people were slowly leaving the station.

Another five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty.

Until I could only clench my fists, while the tears flowed freely under my grey hood.

Only when there was no way to reach the store in time would the train finally arrive at the station. I boarded it regardless, clinging to this tiny hope that maybe, a one in a million chance, Hermes would still be waiting for me. My heart skipped a beat as the battered door actually creaked open, but as I squinted into the darkness I soon found out:

There was nothing, no clue, no notes, not even the lingering presence of a human being. Maybe he toyed with me from the start, maybe Hermes wasn't even real, not the one I imagined at least...

8

And that was the end for the Gunbreaker.

Not me as a person, nobody ever came for me. While I was devastated, scared out of my wits to the point where I slightly worried my family for a few days, even a whole month almost, nothing ever happened. There was no police force, no assassins, never a mention again of these warlords. Even the Net went silent on these topics, but to be honest, I never really dug all that deep anymore.It was over and done with, I didn't want any part in it anymore. Purged it all out of my memory, Hermes, Decoy, Bloodedge, all these stupid names, I tried not to think about them anymore.

And life became easier!

My grades went up, as I attended school more regularly, I spent more time with my friends, even found myself the occasional girlfriend. Certainly lost my shut-in card over these last highschool years, even if I still enjoyed some video games. They didn't consume my life anymore though.

The only downside of it all? I lived in blissful ignorance.

Somewhere in the back of my head I still remebered the video that started it all, this dreadful execution so on some level I was still very much aware what exactly took place behind the massive walls surrounding my existence. I just didn't care anymore and in some ways, I think that's worse than not looking for the truth in the first place.

Guilt however, was never an emotion that burdened my carefree days, I simply told myself that it was all fake anyway. Not an unreasonable assumption, given that I never received any proof and yet I just knew it to be true. Yes, there were some details that I missed, something was definitely fishy, but I was convinced.

Convinced of the existence of the warlords and their schemes. Yet I chose to ignore it, for my own happiness, leaving the presumed millions of corpses aside.

And so I stood on another station, the subway this time, roughly four years, staring bored down on my phone.

It was at this time, my red-headed destiny passed me without even looking twice.

#gunbreaker #light novel #web novel #creative writing #writing practice #just for fun #anime #chapter1

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Harry’s the normal one, that’s the fucking terrifying thing, he wakes up with half a brain that’s arguing with itself - because, much like Icarus, he drug abused too close to the sun (we’ve all been there) - but he has the sense to go “Hmm, something’s off here. Maybe I shouldn’t be tasked with solving this murder.”

Meanwhile Kim’s PTSD-riddled ass pulls a gun on a fridge because it’s shaped like a big bear, and his new bear-boy-best-friend put the idea of wrestling bears into his head. 

THEN he has the gall to be like; “I’m a Normal police officer who solves violent murders and has ZERO hobbies (lie). If you pass judgement on my special racecar radio show time I’m gonna be a bitch about it. Ghosts aren’t real, and PLEASE don’t bring up the physical embodiment of entropy that’s slowly consuming our seas and world because it Frightens me. Now help me solve this murder, I CANNOT do this without you. Please.”

#Disco Elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #they are co-dependant losers and it rocks #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Kim, keeping a discreet half-eye on Harry during a shift: He has been quietly doing paperwork all afternoon. It's nice to witness the progress he's made since we first met.

Harry, to himself: 3 likes and I'll slap Price's bald head.

VOLITION: No you won't. Also what is "likes" what the fuck are you talking about?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY: +1

AUTHORITY: +1

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT: +1

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

the great thing about disco elysium is the way it subverts, then verts, then subverts your perspective of the world building

you think "wait- i thought this was the detective/communism/ alcoholism game- oh shit this isn't our world at all" then you think "ah actually this more or less IS our world with differing history, religion, and geography" THEN you're thinking "oh shit actually this one got GHOSTS in it" then you have to come to terms with the fact that ghosts probably dont exist but peoples' consciousness and voices can be broadcast through radiowaves hundreds of years later AND is that *more* or *less* weird than ghosts. THEN you get told about an eight-eyed bird's psychic abilities but your skeptic bestie is like "no that one's definitely bollocks" but to be honest he didn't believe in the stickbug and the stickbug definitely WAS real, then you're like "okay this is... a.... bit.... like our world. except for the fucking pale, because the fucking pale goes ~Lol, imagine It Follows but instead of A Scary Guy it's the literal concept of entropy and erasure, teehee~" and you have to wonder why people aren't freaking out about that more, except you remember videos of people throwing canned food into volcanoes and shit and think "yeah, actually, on the Elysium equivalent of YouTube there is absolutely a Will It Pale? channel dedicated to throwing shit in there and seeing what happens

anyway, this is all to say that i'm glad the game takes place over ten days, because that means it all takes place in March. So for the longest time I have rightly assumed that the months are the same as on Earth, but knowing this game there is every chance that the following month is called some shit like "Spoom"

#dont think 'verts' is a word but for the purpose of this post it is #breakthrough imminent: post of mine #disco elysium

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Funniest possible HALF LIGHT check

#he's not even making a stance on swearing he's *just* swearing for the sake of it #HDB: ouougghhh~ im gonna give this kid a life-lesson #HDB'S fight or flight response: FUCK!!!!!! #breakthrough imminent: post of mine #disco elysium #fayde

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Enchanted by the idea of Jean trying to call Kim by his first name after he's been settled at the 41st for a while and Kim immediately correcting him back to "Lieutenant Kitsuragi"

Jean baulks, Naturally; "You let fucking *Harry* call you by your first name."

"The detective took a bullet for me - he can call me whatever pleases him." Unbothered. Returns to his notes.

And there's not much Jean can say to that, so he lets it go. Except like a full year later Harry's rambling about Martinaise and drops into conversation that he took a bullet in the *general direction* of Kim, AND he was calling him by his first name on-sight.

Can't do shit, it's been a year. Not gonna imply that Lieutenant Kitsuragi was *lying* to him, are you insane? Just pure seething about it.

#Kim 'oh? i thought it was standard practise at the 41st to leave your partner hanging' Kitsuragi #champion grudge holder and king of petty #'u insulted my bbygrl's kareoke once. 1st name privileges revoked. u are lucky u get to use my last name.' #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Dunno what to focus on here: Cuno immediately jumping to Kim's defense if you try to bully him, or the part of Harry's psyche dedicated to understanding/ being considerate of people's feelings ALSO deciding to bully Kim

#'the four eyed dork' 😭 #i wanna play the route with Cuno but....... #disco elysium #fayde #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #cuno de ruyter #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

I'm not usually the sort of person to get interested in AUs but this cowboy one is tickling me SPECIFICALLY because of the car crash scene in disco elysium

Because... Yeah, it could just be a wagon that he crashes in a sandbank ditch, but that doesn't seem as emotionally poignant

Meanwhile, imagine *intensely* empathetic Harry Du Bois finding the decaying remains of a horse (fragile animal) and being DRAWN to it "Kim, look how pretty she is! Who could leave their horse out in the desert like this without AT LEAST placing a monument?!"

The Paledriver mentions boiadero needing the open plains despite the inherent loneliness that comes along with this existence, Harry doesn't do alone very well, the man bonds with objects; he would easily and whole-heartedly *fully* anthropomorphise his horse

It's the hottest part of the day, sandy, the horse has attracted flies and Harry's kneeled next to the dead horse tenderly stroking her mane. "She looks well cared for besides being dead. Definitely suspicious that there's no attempt to bury or immortalise her, I know *I'd* place a grave for her if she was MY horse. We have to investigate this, right, Kim?!"

Meanwhile Kim's clocked the gaol address etched into the saddle, looking at the pockets that definitely, maybe, contain a sheriff's badge and is like:

#its worse in every conseiveable way. she used to be alive and now she is not. #he does not SHARE the horse with the rest of his 'precinct' she was his horse #the shame and blame here comes from the fact that she lived and breathed and must have been very important to harry #kim's not talking him down from 'getting fired' he's talking him down from making a second exit attempt #breakthrough imminent: post of mine #disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

hey..... listen... i can show you a coupling so vaguely toxic that peeps draw the cool lesbian smooching characters she never mentions in canon....

take my hand~ do you wanna see the femme fatal acuse the cool lesbian of being predatory after she squandered her second chance to stage a lynching?

do you want to realise the 'femme fatal' has fully bought into the role that society expects of her as "somebody possessing a certain type of mediocrity" (conventional beauty)? because she has completely and utterly given up on a normal 'free' life after obtaining the money (necessary for freedom) through illicit, traceable means?

Do you want to then see the 'femme fatal' dedicate herself to drugs and sex and escapism only to realise (when in a position of imminent danger once again) she actually DOESN'T want to die and throw it all away?

yeah, there's yuri in Disco Elysium man

#disco elysium #klassje amandou #ruby the instigator #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Love love LOOVE when people make lists categorizing all the ways in which Kim's a weird little guy and include "does the crossword"

Besties the crossword is about the most normal thing for a lonely 43 year old man to do

#i'm partial to a good crossword when im down the pub #...i may legitimately make a DE themed one that sounds fun #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #breakthrough imminent: post of mine

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

Thinking about my first DE playthrough and the horror of going through the tribunal because I was *THAT* engrossed. And then the *greater* horror of, upon waking up, realising that that's a SHARED FUCKING BATHROOM.

So I've had some vodka. Here we go, piss poll;

#ive made it a week 'cos i think we need elysium's best scholars on this #im... going to have another vodka i think #disco elysium #im not tagging this as either of them lmao this can fester organically #breakthrough imminent: post of mine