#because people keep missing them

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid. #The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier. #We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them! #Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)... #The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too. #The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed. #We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now. #It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud. #For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him. #It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes. #But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart: #It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it. #What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end. #There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet. #Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt. #Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this: #You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that. #Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.

[arthursfuckinghat]

The worst part about playing rdr2 again is knowing who's going to die, how they're going to die, when they're going to die, and not be able to do a single thing about it

#sorry I'm just thinking about lenny and sean a lot #they're so full of life #sean is always cheering people up and talking about whatever nonsense he talks about #he fills the silence #lenny is always chirpy and keeping himself busy with reading but is always happy to talk #kieran too #he was always nice even when everyone was cruel to him or picking on him #he did chores and helped with the horses and did whatever he was told #and was grateful for it #nobody fucking noticed when he disappeared apart from mary beth #nobody got to mourn sean #but lenny and hosea both got what they wanted #they were buried with friends #I miss them so much its why I'm still on chapter two because everything's okay for now #micah is still in jail everyone's happy #its hard #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #lenny summers #sean macguire #kieran duffy #molly saying “I love you dutch” and getting a “thank you dear” in return makes my blood boil #oh molly

[mangofanarts]

I don't know if someone has named all the cellmates yet but I wanted to try - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong btw! Philza - Quackity

Antoine - Roier

Baghera - Rivers

Felps - Willyrex

Cellbit - Vegetta

Missa - Wilbur

Rubius - Luzu (Arin technically)

Jaiden - Mouse

German - Lenay

Foolish - Mike

Bad - Aypierre

Slime - Elmariana

Bagi - alone

Pac - alone

Tubbo - alone

Etoiles - alone

Kameto - alone

Tina - alone

Niki - alone

Carre - alone

Fit - alone

Here's the list of cellmates without the pictures: Quackity - Philza Antoine - Roier Baghera - Rivers Felps - Willyrex Cellbit - Vegetta Missa - Wilbur Rubius - Luzu (technically Arin) Jaiden - Mouse German - Lenay Foolish - Mike Bad - Aypierre Slime - Elmariana Alone Category: - Bagi - Pac - Tubbo - Etoiles - Kameto - Tina - Niki - Carre - Fit EDIT: (They've apparently moved some people around during the event to be roommates with others - this list is not including them switching people around and is just who was paired originally in cells)

#qsmp #im not tagging all of these Im sorry #qsmp prison event #Sorry if I'm missing someone xd!! There's just a lot of people #I've decided to not include them switching around roommates because that would be too many vods for me to go through just to see whose new #cellmate is with who yknow #so this is just the original ones #People have been saying Fit moved in with Tina but when I checked Fit's vod - at the end of it he moved out of Tina's cell to go to another #to call his own so Fit and Tina aren't cellmates anymore and I think trying to keep up with the consistency of whose moved out of who #also would be a lot of work xd #I only know that Etoiles moved into Antoine's cell so they're together at least even at the end of it

[dcomposing]

the trigger happy havoc survivors make me so mentally ill if i think about them for too long.

like we do not have anything in common and i dont even particularly like you. i dont know if we would have been friends if this hadn't happened to us but it did and now i'm not going to lose you. i dont know your favorite color but also ive never known anyone so intimately. i dont know how to make conversation with you. i feel nervous when you arent in my line of sight. please stay safe out there. let me know if you need help. i believe in you.

#what was it like for them immediately after that door opened. when they reexperinced the end of the world for the first time. #how long did they have to navigate the wasteland #taking turns keeping watch in awkward pairs #and then getting rescued by the foundation!! being separated after only having eachother for god knows how long!! #suddenly being burdened with a new host of responsibilities after only thinking of surviving for so long #how long did it take before they stopped panicking when the others weren't in the cantina at breakfast. #did they miss eachother. did they know that they missed eachother or were they just freaked out by the sudden emptiness they couldnt place. #UGGGHHH THEY MAKE ME CRAZYY #especially because with the exception of naegi it doesnt even seem like the six who survived were close pre tragedy!! #like if you take the mangas as canon. they all lost the people they were actually close to #or just. didnt get close to anyone. #danganronpa thh #do i want to tag characters #fuck it sure #makoto naegi #kyouko kirigiri #byakuya togami #aoi asahina #yasuhiro hagakure #touko fukawa #danganronpa #really cool and very interesting

[fromtheseventhhell]

One major factor missing from most debates on Arya and Lyanna's beauty is that they're being judged by their society's extremely patriarchal values. In both looks and personality, that context is essential to understanding how others perceive them. George explores the misogyny experienced by non-conforming women, especially with Arya, and it's interesting how he plays with that regarding their physical beauty.

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. (The Blind Girl, ADWD) "You never knew Lyanna as I did, Robert," Ned told him. "You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath. She would have told you that you have no business in the melee." (Eddard VII, AGOT)

These two quotes offer a nice summation of this idea. With Arya, her supposed lack of beauty is defined by her being a non-conforming wild child. Her hair is messy, her face is dirty, and she's often in "lower class" clothing while engaging in unladylike activities. None of this says anything about her physical beauty but it tells us everything about how she's perceived. Arya could be pretty...If she conforms to society's standards for a highborn Lady. With Lyanna, however, we get the opposite. Where Arya is judged based on her personality, Robert's romanticization of Lyanna is rooted solely in her looks. He doesn't know anything about the person she really was. There is an assumption that, because she looked a certain way, her personality must fit and Robert imagines her much softer and more passive than she actually was.

That Arya isn't pretty or Lyanna wasn't wild are two perceptions that George specifically pushes back against. This is where people miss the brilliance of them being linked as literary mirrors; it is largely about us learning more about Lyanna, but it touches on more than that. The significance of them being written as wild, willful, and with their own beauty is that George isn't writing his female characters around patriarchal expectations. When people debate their beauty, that's often the trapping they fall into. Beauty and non-conformity are treated as mutually exclusive factors when the story itself never makes that point; this is also the logic that leads people to the (incorrect) conclusion that Lyanna and Arya aren't meant to be similar. Arya's self-esteem issues around her looks and being a Lady make this a topic certain to be addressed in the future; George has made it a part of the story. The conclusion shouldn't be that "looks don't matter", but that looks aren't indicative of a character's value, personality, or morality.

#arya stark #lyanna stark #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #I know we're tired of this topic but I'm going to keep bringing it up until people base their analysis on what's actually in the books #it's not about needing/wanting Arya to be pretty it's about! the story being told #and it's just frustrating that this is such a highly debated topic that lacks all the nuance it's handled with in the source material #among a lot of other reasons people miss this point because they miss the way misogyny is handled in Arya's chapters #they think her being non-conforming mean she has some super special privilege that makes her exempt from it #Arya being pretty is a relatively small part her character but the message behind it contributes to a larger picture #and the biggest shame about this whole debate is that it misses genuinely brilliant writing #it's just absurd to be that /female character being non-conforming and pretty/ is beyond this fandom's comprehension skills #you guys really just want to force them into being flat no-nuance archetypes for easier consumption #Arya and Lyanna...I'm so sorry this fandom can't handle you because they hate women #mind you several people refer to Arya as pretty but apparently every single one of them is lying/unreliable because...reasons #this fandom truly has zero comprehension skills

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[gwenlena]

people who complain about people singing at concerts are so annoying if you only want to listen to the artists thats what listening at music at home is for. concerts are a social experience you go there to be with other people who like the music as much as you do, you dont get to stop them enjoying it because you dont know what a concert is

#i think people like want to pretend its just them and the artist but like thats not why you go to a concert youre missing the point #there is no greater joy than screaming song lyrics with a bunch of strangers #this seems to be more of an issue with like. those ~aesthetic~ types of people people who are into rock dont care #but like the mitski subreddit was so annoying when her tour was announced it was full of people saying to not sing along #which is just very sad u know #also because i was watching a boygenius concert video and the comments were full of people making fun of one girl in the audience #for singing loudly and not being able to carry a tune #like ok she paid a lot to be there and ur watching it for free on youtube you can keep those opinions to urself #if you dont want to hear other people judt STREAM THE SONG #anyway #im seeing mitski this month i hope everyones chill OSLSJ

[askthebadkidz]

some of you are just saying you headcannon Riz as Demi-romantic and Demi-sexual because you want to ignore that he’s aroace while pretending that you’re not ignoring that he’s aroace and it’s painfully obvious to actual aroace people.

-mod Riz

#fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #It’s like the Demi headcannons make all his aroace problems suddenly *disappear* #Like. There’s more to his aroace identity in the story than his sexuality!!! His biggest fear is that everyone is going to leave him!!! #Because he doesn’t understand them! Because he doesn’t love in the same way! Because they will move on and he can’t keep up! #It’s like people who headcannon him as Demi miss the entire fucking point #It’s not just his sexuality it’s his fears it’s his story!!! #Making a story which is like ‘all of that’s fixed now because he’s in a relationship with ‘insert character’’ is so fucking ajdnjdndjssj #How do you miss a point so fucking badly when it’s spelled out in front of you! He’s different!!!!!! HES DIFFERENT!!! #Demi headcannons for Riz aren’t bad it’s just they get rid of what makes this an aroace story when they write it!! They don’t understand it

[folightening]

Hetalia nations having the only remaining copy of their favorite play or book. Special first editions of certain books, sometimes gifted by the author themself. Portraits done by artists no one else cares to remember. Stories never written down that they only remember parts of and wish they could share again with their people. Little knick knacks they picked up over the centuries with value only to them. Things that remind them of who they are, who they used to be, that are so important they can't part with them.

Then there are those things that only live in their memory, that they wish they could see again but it just wouldn't be the same.

#hetalia #getting a little emotional thinking about their immortality #all the things they've experienced that they can't anymore #the things humans used to do but don't anymore that they miss #old fashions and traditions they keep despite how the world thinks of them #how fast things keep moving and expecting the old souls to keep up and deal with it no matter how much they may not want to #remembering people differently from history but their memories aren't the business of nosy humans #just wanting a simple life but not granted one because they are a Nation

[toddtakefive]

thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.

the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)

there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.

#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright #all things considered #it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit #both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away #but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part #and i find it so odd when people frame it as one #todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭 #neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself #but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all #and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him #and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing #as far as todd’s concerned ​neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance #a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same #i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ + #‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN #todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims + #outside of neil but that isn’t really the case #and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person #he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree + #(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses + #there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other + #in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing) #this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me #mad #neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything #and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety #come on guys #dps #dead poets society #todd anderson

[yellowjackets-1996]

(do you love me like that?) you're a reckless driver (I'm a reckless driver) and one day it will kill us if I —

#yellowjacketsedit #yjedit #akilahmari #lyricsongifs #yellowjacketscentral #ok i WANT TO DISCLAIM. im not 100% sold on pitgirl mari im not 100% sold on anything. the show will tell me when its ready! #that SAID im incapable of giffing unless theres tragedy involved and also i think it would be an interesting trajectory for them #akilahmari work imo because while different they are both very vulnerable in the same way #they want to be seen and cared for and they arent in an environment where thats easy #and like. yeah the you tell me all the time to keep my eyes on the road gif IS the gay scenes #but its also akilah being in tune with people and their emotions. ofc she knows taivan love each other ofc she knows lottienat need a momen #and later ofc she knows lottie and nat need a moment!!! that skill serves her as tension escalates #whereas mari cannot read a room + does not filter herself. and akilah often gets the best of that from her! #but also. akilah shoots her a look when she presses javi about the missing bear meat. but also. mari isnt wrong to be concerned #mari is vulnerable and scared !!!AND!!! heavily concerned about survival. so whereas akilah and mari are both scared to hunt javi #mari is the second to run to grab javis body. akilah follows still horrified. mari is better suited to survive in a lot of ways #but also tends to step on toes!!! but also mari is so loyal and so like. attentive? eager? in a way akilah isnt #so mari says more controversial things but ultimately follows status quo in a way akilah is less inclined to #even in terms of skills mari can cook and akilah can sew but eventually what good is stitching people up when they need to eat. you know. #IDK i think theyre soooo interesting and im rly looking forward to their relationship hopefully developing bc i think theyre cute and fun #but i think their dyn could get sooooo interesting. even in terms of letting mari go. like. many connotations #akilah can giggle when the jokes are still funny and they can find each other in any given space. but does that matter if it cant save them #anyway ive run out of tags to tag the chars for my blog and im being really brave about it btw. #also its 2 am and i wanna post and im being even braver about that (not deleting this tag but its not 2 am my time as i post im drafting<3)

[lovecoredeity]

fun scene idea that I’ll probably never get around to drawing: someone grabbing a wanted poster from a board or wall only to reveal a missing persons poster featuring the same person as on the wanted poster underneath it (also the reward for them as a wanted person is higher than the reward for returning them when they were missing)

#basically this is something fun I imagine for my oc cashmere #as of right now she’s simply missing (presumed to be kidnapped at least that’s what the family she is from told people) #as of rn in her story she isn’t wanted for anything but that can change I’ll probably have her (attempt to) commit treason against her #own family or something #I think it would be fun that her family is willing to spend less when she’s missing than when they’re mad at him and want him back to be #punished for angering them #I have attempted to draw this out before but was like #it would be better as like an animation tbh but #I can’t animate I’m not going to animate my tablet does not even have the storage for me to animate #maybe a quick animatic if anything but like #idk #it’s more of a fun idea than anything #I imagine what leads to cashmere committing treason is that upon being back in the hands of their family they begin to realize that they #can’t lie to theirself anymore their family is terrible and the reason they died in the first place and snaps #i feel like they found themselves in a situation where they attacked someone out of fear and rage and blah blah that is seen as treason #it would probably be his dad that gets attack im ngl conquest deserves it #or they accidentally hurt them out of fear #I am unsure #*shrug emoji* I’m just making up shit for cashmere as I see fit and per what I find most interesting and fun <3 #also cashmere is my only oc rn who would have both a missing and a wanted poster #sure most of my ocs would find themselves wanted for one reason or another or targeted by others #but some cashmere is useful as a tool to their family and having a runaway child is bad for their reputation they’d ofc want her back to #keep her quiet and keep people from finding out that she ran away #they also still think she’s sickly and wouldn’t want anyone to find out who she is that she’s sickly and for word to spread #basically they want cashmere back so their reputation isn’t damaged and so they can go back to using her as they please #I put a lot of suffering into this character #and I will continue to do so because as my favourite this is what happens #sorry I’m babbling

[dyketubbo]

properly got the chance to read through the statements made by pomme dapper and ramons admins (plus admin 18s and some of the twitter update admins) and jeez i feel so bad for them but especially pommes admin. something incredibly sinister about focusing so much mistreatment on the admin who comes from the country where the union efforts are coming from while making merch of the character they played. capitalism is the enemy of creativity. whoever the people are that are removing admins without notice, theyre the ones that deserve to be removed from the project. not the egg/worker/animal admins that the whole fucking story is built on the backs of

#imagine being so fucking capitalism poisoned #that youd rather mistreat and kick off the people who help make the project what it is #than pay them for WORKING *DAILY* to keep the story going #what a fucking joke #mask mews #qsmp #hardly anyone is getting on the server. bads taking a break. a big part of why tubbos still getting on #is because of the tubbathon + he has to to work on his project #pierres on mostly to be afk and pac and phil get on rarely while other ccs just Arent getting on the server or are doing other things #and even when those who get on the server get on. they talk about missing the eggs. how much they wish they were there #qsmp did good for itself when the eggs werent around dont get me wrong #but the eggs are a GIGANTIC part of its success. it wouldnt be the same without them #you cant downplay how important they are to the very fucking structure of qsmp #especially because the egg admins also play the fed workers and animal characters #refuse to pay your workers what they deserve and eventually itll all fall apart. just because its a slow process with major corporations #doesnt mean itll be slow for smaller projects like this. thats just not how it works

[sciderman]

After the plot ends- does the activity on the blog end to? No more fanfics Or spideypool (any ship in general) ? Or will you still make one shots/one offs of them?

the simple answer is that the plot won't end! peter and wade will always be going through it. i think that's kind of the conceit – there's no such thing as a happily ever after, exactly.

you get what you want, sometimes. sometimes you don't. but you keep going. that's kind of what i love about wade and peter. that's their whole thing.

#so i have like. a “satisfying conclusion” per say but. it's not the end. after that there's still raising ellie. there's still drama. #i don't know how long i'm going to keep it up. but their story doesn't just End. ya feel. #i've had some people say they're glad there's a continuation to the blog after their big hook up. #because i could've ended it after civil war really. that's a satisfying ending. #but miss out on all the fun that would ensue with them being a couple?? all the drama?? their evolving dynamic?? #that's the good stuff!! #i was so excited for how their dynamic would change when i'm able to write them as a couple at last. and it changed so much. #and i can't wait to write about how their dynamic changes when they're raising ellie. hoough. #sci speaks

[oatbugs]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago. #(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year) #(hed come across the bridge on a lake) #we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared. #it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much. #and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine. #she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though #it often takes me a long time to write that response #my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly #I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times #I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory #so I keep putting off reblogging gift art #because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give #maybe that sounds dumb and fake #but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that #often weeks sometimes months even #and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed #I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time #not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person #so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet #please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess #and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you #feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot #and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it #because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond #thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it #sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot #because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness #I'm trying to work on that #answered #anonymous