#because im not the right kinda trans

[gremlingirlsmell]

#poll #trans #transfem #trans woman #trans women #trans rights #im kinda curious. i bet also if you do make up and how well and how often also plays into this #I can't wear makeup because it's a sensory nightmare to apply And wear. so i always have a bit of visible stubble even right after shaving. #which is. kinda why im always dysphoric #jeady rambles #jeady rambles in tags

[fishflavouredlead]

queer women when trans-masc/men's lived experiences are just a little too similar to their own: 😡☝️🤬🚫😤🤬🚫😡🤬😤☝️

#bc thats really j gotta b what it is right? #bc idk how u can hear ppl #go through exactly what youve been through #the only men or men-like companians who can ever truly ***empathize*** w women #and u want to talk over them or claim that their experience isnt valid in some way because??? #what??? #it makes u feel some type of way??? #u dont like it???? #u dont agree w it bc personally its not yr own personal experience???? #bc u think it somehow takes away frm yr own expereinces??? #when in relaity were both j expereincing the same thing and both suffering in totally similiar ways j in different directions #or sometimes still even in the same direction #idk im really tired of this kinda.. indifferent if not invalidating attitude ppl will have towards transmen #or even transmascs #if theyre a lil too masculine or a lil too binary (which again will always b skewed due to individual perceptions) #and tbh #it kinda scares some of yall bc #honestly some of us including me including some trans ppl too #dont know what good kind gentle postive masculinity looks like #its never been modeled for us (which is glaringly obvious looking at the stae of the world) #idk it just comes off as ignorant and closeminded and yall wpuld think ud b the the last ones caught dead being exactly that #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #queer #literally fighting the same fucking battle but were all too busy killing the whole squadron w friendly fucking fire #like i love yall but come on

[benadrylcandlewhack]

IF YOU CAN ACCEPT GWEN'S DIMENSION'S PETER BEING TRANS, AKA A CHARACTER WE'VE SPENT LESS THAN 5 MINUTES OF SCREENTIME WITH, BUT NOT GWEN WHO IS ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, I'M JUST GONNA ASSUME YOU DON'T ACTUALLY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE

YOU SUPPORT TRANS REPRESENTATION IF IT'S THROUGH BACKGROUND CHARACTERS WHO DIE

YOU SUPPORT IT IF IT'S NOT "SHOVED IN YOUR FACE"

#sorry i just read some stupid pinterest commenst and im really heated right now #im actually fucking baffled as to how much people are refusing to accept it #like the only reason they don't accept it is because it's never verbally stated that she's trans #because apparently canon statements only amtter when it comes to this kinda stuff #HER ENTIRE STORY IN THE MOVIE #THE BACKGROUND COLOURS OF HER DIMENSION #THE COLOURS OF HER SUIT #HER FLAG #HER DAD'S FLAG #IM NOT EVEN TRANS AND IT ALL STUCK OUT TO ME #LIKE I SAW SOMEONE SAY THAT BC SHE'S VOICED BY HAILEE STEINFELD AND HAILEE STEINFELD IS CIS THEN SHE CAN'T BE TRANS #THEY'RE GONNA FLIP THEIR SHIT WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT PETER CULLEN IS NOT IN FACT A GIANT ROBOT LIKE THE CHARACTER HE PLAYS #anyways trans gwen real #atsv #atsv spoilers #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #atsv gwen #gwen stacy #spider gwen #ghost spider #trans #transgender #trans gwen stacy #ben's bs #and if you're gonna come into my inbox just to argue don't even fucking bother ill delete your messages #or at least turn off anon #if you barge into my ask box with anon on then congratulations i now know you're a fucking coward

[numbskul]

You and the Pyro had been fast friends ever since you had arrived to work for Mann co. Their excitable attitude, clear body language, and evident likes and dislikes made it easy to communicate, despite your inability to understand their mumbles. It was this friendship that made you feel guilty for what you had been experiencing recently.

When you fell asleep at night, you could always tell when you were about to slip into a lucid dream. The way your body tingled and buzzed as you drifted off was a telltale sign. Watching the backs of your eyes yet again, you felt a sense of excitement. It had been a while since you had properly dreamt, and you were thrilled at the prospect of it finally happening again.

As the static faded into a familiar scene, you wondered what caused you to start in the base's shower room. Sure, you had awkward encounters in there before, but nothing too fresh in your memory to constitute a dream as far as you were aware. Even odder, nobody else was in there except for you and the sound of water running from the third shower stall. As the water splashed onto the floor, you felt your other senses start to fade in. The sound echoed around you as you felt hot moisture cling to your skin, beads of water forming and rolling down.

"Wait, the third stall?" You spoke to yourself, your words coming out garbled as though you had said them underwater. That always sucked about dreams, speaking became difficult and sometimes downright impossible. Still, you had a point. There were 9 stalls, and one of them was never used, ever. Each shower had been assigned to a mercenary, as to not mix up personal shower items or cause the petty squabbles some of them were known for. Recalling what you knew, the first one belonged to Scout, the second one to Soldier, then the third to... Pyro."But that doesn't make any sense!" You garbled, forgetting again the unpleasant feeling that dreams often connect to speaking. You then thought about how Pyro never takes off their suit, always staying inside the safety of the asbestos lining, always breathing through their mask. That fact combined with Pyro's abhorrence for water created a curiosity that seemed almost unshakeable. You slowly and steadily made your way to the third shower, cautious and slow, almost worried about what you might find.

As you reached their stall, you couldn't help but pause outside the curtain. Surely this was some sort of major privacy violation. "Just because everybody is curious about Pyro's appearance doesn't mean they don't deserve the basic decency to get dressed before-". But before you could finish that thought, the curtain moved, revealing a beautifully disfigured body. Their arms covered in artificial ripples, the wrinkled skin cascading into little waves before descending into a faded white where the scarring met the remaining flesh. Their whole body seemed to follow this pattern, a myriad of scars in a mesmerizing pattern that captured your attention completely.

Standing there with your mouth agape, totally entranced as you beheld the form in front of you, they shyly moved their arms to cover their breasts. Bashfully turning their head to the side, their face burst out in a bright red tinge. "Pyro-" you whispered, your voice coming out crystal clear. "You're beautiful."

Your vision suddenly started to fade into static as you felt someone start to shake you. "Wait!" Your voice abruptly unable to leave your throat, you tried to scream. "I'm not done yet! Please!" Barely a whisper choked out as you came to in your bed. Alone.

#tf2 #pyro #pyro x reader #kinda? #described nudity #dream fuckery #angst #because im an angsty boy #afab pyro because trans rights #or smthn idk #numbskul writes

[zapsoda]

people are so so inexplicably comfortable being fuckin weird as hell about trans men

#on two separate occasions in the last few months cis woman '''allies''' i know have said weird as hell shit about trans men to me!!! #as if i would agree #helloooo #in the first case we were talking about the trans military ban and she was like ''well i kinda understand because of the issue of.. rape..'' #maybe its just me projecting but that skeeved me the hell out! #the assumption that trans men are walking vaginas 'woman enough' for these supposed animalistic cis men to ravage #im not denying that very much could be a problem but what the fucking hell. #tell me im not crazy for thinking this is a strange thing to say. #for that to be The Reason she can understand why trans people shouldnt be in the militaru #like.i think a more normal thing to say would be like. #'well trans people tend to be on meds and if you need regular meds to function regardless of what kind you cant be in the military' #right??????????????????????? #and then of course yesterday the sponsor of my schools gsa told a literal fucking out trans man '' #well trans men actually arent as big of victims of misogyny because as men they perpetuate it'' #pls. what. hello. ????????????????. why would you say this. fully confidently.

[vamptastic]

i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.

#got in argument with a guy the other day abt idk. trans athletes #was basically him trying to explain what the issue is to me (i know. that's kinda step one to having an opinion on it.) #and then going yeah huh i guess you're actually right (i was) #and i was like okay great cool we're done here let me go to class and he starts talking about like #how he still loves trump for this and that reason kinda unprompted (sorry you lost an argument dude go introspect somewhere else im LATE) #and i was like yeah idk abt that. on account of all the corruption. and the foreign policy youre saying is like manly macho man strong is #mostly just wildly stupid posturing that's going to achieve nothing at best and world war at worst #and he goes no don't worry i think DESANTIS would be better for 2024 actually #and i. UNDERSTANDBLY. was like oh okay i cannot speak to you (because i am visibly shaking with rage) #and he goes well i think you are misattributing my intentions (cunt.) #and i said no no i don't think you're malicious i just think you're stupid and wildly misinformed #and then left bc i was about to either hit him or start crying (bc that guy has been like very tangibly ruining my life for months #and i genuinely cannot fathom what fucking tax issue or whatever one would value over like. my right to idk. Exist atp. #and also this coming from someone who just tried to be like no i know so many trans people i love trans ppl im not like those conservatives #like try to dig deep down into whatever rotted husk of a brain is left in your skull and fathom why i might have a strong reaction to your #support for DESANTIS and the SPACE LASERS WOMAN #you fucking idiot.) #and was that civil. No. and now i have to apologize to him bc i feel bad about it even though i fully meant it #idk its what i get for trying to change peoples minds with stupid things like #' statistics ' and ' a utilitarian perspective ' and ' existing legal basis for my argument ' #guys so wrapped up in their right wing bubble they just dont wanna hear it #n they always assume i mustve not heard their talking points and its like look at where we fucking live #and look at the state of the world. NOBODY in any form of mainstream news shares my politics lmao #you think i havent heard every conceivable argument abt trans people??? also you think im dumb enough to form an opinion without looking at #the other side? yeah man i know about the three trans women who have ever won a sports competition ever. do you? #do you even know their fucking names or sports or trial outcomes. #GOD just fucking. pseudo intellectual facist horseshit like pragru and infowars masquerading as legítimate sources #are making so many dumbass illiterate (i truly don't think they have the reading comprehension to decifer a study or even long article) #guys think they're gods gift to politics bc they listened to someone else tell them what a source says through ten layers of propaganda #just. uh. everyone should die forever and also learn to read.

[sigynsilica]

When people are used to forcing things down other people's throats, someone refusing to be fed sparks a fear that they're going to think their oppressor needs a taste of their own medicine.

When someone who is used to being able to never shut up about Christmas becomes aware that many people don't celebrate it, they start worrying that other people will treat them how they've always treated other people.

When someone who is used to enforcing a strict gender binary on other people becomes aware that many people don't believe that's even a thing, they start worrying that other people will treat them the way they've always treated other people.

They don't actually think people are shoving their beliefs down their throat. They're just afraid of reciprocation.

#Exvangelical #privilege #trans rights #im not doing it your way and that's okay #because at least i understand not everyone does it my way #why are conservatives like this #come to think of it this is kinda the baseline of all conservative government

[dismalzelenka]

.

#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—” #and i kinda snapped #and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life #this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run #she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience #and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way #and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me #and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree #and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide #if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here #i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department #i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress #i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms #two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues #she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field #no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past #its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect #and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for #how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn #i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is #she meant well #the pianist i mean #and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood #no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what #maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in #dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion #i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment #its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval #of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself #so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.

[fatespalm]

solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —

#honestly this mostly only happens because of my disability which. i've been dreaming/reading about navigating that in ways feel better #or else because im scared of violence as a trans woman but i’m sick of fear of violence making me passive #rarely because i got scared in the crosshairs of financial insecurity and feared losing work #but that is what im parsing this time and very determined not to let that happen ever again #cuz like. having the supposed 'non-action' of passivity even available to you is a privilege of whiteness #in this case it was taking a creative-side gig on a play that felt very clear the playwright had given very little if any consideration #to nonwhite perspectives like clearly by a white person thinking about a white audience kinda liberal politics #and i took it bc my friend's mentor was directing and she put us in touch and spoke highly of him #and she's indigenous and very willing to call out white bullshit so i had some hope/trust that he would push it more #and he........ did at least cast a latino actor in the one role that would have made the play horrifically racist #if it had been cast as a white person but that felt like doing the absolute least to me #im still very much figuring this world out #understanding the ethics of theater work and im glad i did this in that regard #cuz like. i didn't fully realize that my only real chance to make a creative + ethical statement was right out the gate in accepting the gi #as an SM like... there's really no other chance to have an opinion so i should not take work if the script doesn't align w my ethics #and use that rejection as a chance to make it clear what's fucked up #...if i even ever SM again that was the most stressful gig i've ever done and i didn't even get paid for it. fuck #sorry for writing half the post in the tags. if ur reading this ur too close >O< jk haaiiii thx for reading my diary #very much a 'i am thinking through these concepts still and ur welcome to share ur thoughts on them' kinda post

[homophyte]

okay this has been bugging me for a few days so im outsourcing to tumblr to see if anyone here has talked about it/is talking about it even though the book is a few years old. is there a consensus on morgan from bernardine evaristo’s girl woman other? ive been reading it for a class and it just screamed borderline transphobic character written by a well meaning cis author who has “concerns”. idk is there some 5d chess im missing? am i reading it too literally? whats the deal with it

#myposts #text of kin #girl woman other #doesnt rlly help that like no reviews ive seen really talk about it in depth beyond 'oh yeah and trans rep' #i wanna know whats going on there. #and like dont get me wrong the book is fine--very liberal and kinda annoying for that--but fine #just....i think it generally has the sense its doing things better than it is #the abusive relationship in dominiques chapter...fuckin. everything about yazz?? #i struggle to see some of these stories as groundbreaking when theyre like playing into highly established shit in order to do so yk #the same w morgans chapter imo. really had to go to 'ive always hated pink and dolls!' #rather than. anything else #i guess it stands out the MOST with morgan just bc its so off base and so typical and so typically borderline transphobic that i can #immediately see and roll my eyes at it--same w dominiques chapter ig #just seems like....ticking off boxes on 'the right way' to do certain portrayals and then posing the most boring questions imaginable #about them so when i see such effusive praise for it i go kinda ???? like am I wrong??? maybe im crazy and it is done well #idk i suspect its so highly praised because its so liberal-friendly which is exactly why its so boring to me #i dont hate it. its fine. but like....just fine. i cant muster much enthusiasm #and what the FUCK. with morgan! thats my ultimate question here whats the deal whats the consensus

[universalsatan]

the mexican urge to adopt people…

#at the landing (the queer space on campus) i met this mexican girl right #where we first went out together because she wanted to try having a cigar here so i offered to bring her to the nearby cigar shop where i #get my pipe tobacco and i went full ranchero too. transmasc and transfemme swag #but yeah so not only is she trans but i found out that she came up here from chihuahua (the north) and it sounds like it was. Very dangerous #to live there. and not only that but her family is definitely not accepting of her #and apparently she’s been here for just under a year? because her visa got delayed so she couldnt start until winter semester #and my dad. my friend couldnt make it to his bday. but it sounds like my dad just wanted to have a big party again. one we havent had since #the rest of the family had to go back down to mexico like a decade ago #so i invited my friend because i remembered how much she had said she missed mexico and :’) #she was SUPER anxious at first #kinda on her phone. and she had even texted me her hesitancy like if people were transphobic #and im like girl i am super trans too dw. if they make it a problem ill become THEIR problem (+ my fam is accepting) #and oh my god she loved the food so much because it reminded her of home. and her and my dad had a whole conversation about their nativefood #and when she realized we were singing my dad las mañanitas first. she sung the loudest 😭😭😭 #i was already saying how i want her over for xmas so we can do our cracked version of posadas and make tamales #and at some point introduce her to my padrinos (which might be delayed because i forget more conservative people exist LMAO but her story is #right up my madrina’s alley) and because my madrina has two dogs and she grew up w dogs #mexican culture has a lot to do with family #and apparently she hadnt really met anyone mexican in her entire almost year here before me #so yeah. the mexican urge to adopt #personal

[friendlifyre]

looking for that one reblog where someone said something like... 'when i think of having sex i picture myself with a dick'.

i cant even remember if it was in response to a post abt trans ppls sexualities or abt why bottom surgery can matter or abt why the 'youre a [gender] bc you say so not bc you have [x] body parts !!!1!!' positivity can be alienating to some ppl...

maybe a mix of all or none at all but i wanna find it again so badly bc that sentence exists rent free in my brain like i have Never experienced such a feeling of simultaneous Being Understood + You Put It In Words as I did when i read that sentence

#personal #tmi #ever since ive moved ive been confronted to the image of my (naked) body a lot more... widely #and it just sparked this whole debate in my head because i Hate It So Much #i never rly minded it bc i never saw it never showed it the only thing ppl get to see is me fully clothed #usually in the most androgynous possible way which is ideal for me #and the only drawback is that my first language makes it impossible to not be locked either of the binaries #and my deadname pushes me in the half i wouldnt prefer over the other if i really Had to pick #and i was always kinda at war with myself over whether it was worth transitioning because i know itd be a Big Thing #that would ultimately only chalk me off as a trans guy at best #which im not. im transmasc nb #id rather be assumed a boy than a girl given the choice but thats still not who i am at the end of the day #but ever since moving and having to look at myself so much #i cant help but think like... transitioning wouldnt just be about presenting how i want to other people #itd also be about helping with my dysphoria #which is ??? huge ?? and i cant believe i never bothered to give myself the right to consider that path specifically For Myself #and yeah thats not even getting into the whole topic of like #sex as a whole is something i would be so much more comfortable with.. in the right body #maybe even enjoy. maybe not want to be set on fire because i want it but the idea of being perceived as i am makes me wanna throw up

[sammywiichh]

"U r a boy, because ur actually not weird and ur not doing it for js the trend" so what deems a trans person trans? Who deserves to be a person and who deserves to be an "it"? Who's a "true" trans person in your cis eyes? And why do i deserve the title of a "real" trans person?

#my “friend” said this to me after i asked if im just another it in her eyes #we were talking about dylan mulvaney #she has a ton of internalized transphobia and honestly the only reason im friends with her is because shes avaibile when im bored #shes kinda an ass i cant believe i even dated her at one point #vent #trans rights

[hecksupremechips]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

#the letter #rebecca gales #my beloved my bestie my wife etc #ive also just written like in a scenario where she gets with luke shes gonna like get that dick and then shes like oh fuckkkkk #and its pretty frightening cuz luke is a notorious asshole but hes about to find out so she just lets it out #and hes weirdly chill hes just like ‘hnnnghh does it look like i fucking care about that right now daisy’ #they uh. arent exactly a match made in heaven alkskf the way i write it like they are genuinely good for each other in a lot of ways #like i think they both can just help the other see important sides to themselves and improve #but i dont see them being like this happy long term couple i think rebecca can do soooo much better i think theyd get together when shes at #rock bottom and feels like no one will ever love her and she forms a bond with luke and she relates to him in a weird way #and this makes her feel worse like luke is the only one who sees the real her and she wants him because shes afraid hes the only one whod #tolerate her its just a very unhealthy situation and he has enough good in him to keep her on the hook #but enough bad in him to never satisfy what she needs and to make her feel like shit #its like. i dont think its IMPOSSIBLE for luke to be a good partner to her but hed have to do a LOTTT of changing that im just not confident #hed do plus like i mean hes literally a murderer and all of rebeccas friends hate him i dont think shed really be able to see past that #plus like hed be transphobic like maybe he isnt opposed to having sex with a trans woman in the moment but he certainly wouldnt be an ally #its all about whats convenient for him i think at best hed be like ‘youre one of the good ones!’ #i kinda love lukebecca lol not in a ‘theyre cute’ way ew just in a. ‘their interactions are really funny and interesting’ kinda way #i want them to fuck nasty and i want rebecca to almost sink to his level but then rise above and kick his ass #and i want rebecca to be the one who got away for luke like losing her is the biggest wake up call of his life #and then rebecca lives her best life with her awesome friends and they work on communicating properly #and she realizes she doesnt need a man to complete her and then she writes a book and is loved pleaseeee

[mycelumprince]

me: im questioning my gender again also me: but what if my old friends judge me what if they say im not actually like that again me: what that doesn't make sense i cut them off

#i hate what like #toxic friends did to me #not all of them were like this but like the loudest people were #they only really cared if they deemed it right #i think openly crying if i looked in the mirror and saw a guy instead scenario kinda proves that i might be a little trans #maybe #but my ex really didn't want me to be a guy because he didn't want to be gay by technicality #what? #transmasc #mismatched talks #im considering theo #but idk

[faggottomcruise]

gender is so fucked up

#been thinking about it a lot lately #like. when i was first figuring it out i kinda knew i wanted to be gnc but didnt want to be gnc ... in the way i was then #and now that i have reached the point i have im like . ok ✅️ #LIKE idk how to describe it #if people refer to me w she/her it feels like a little game we are playing #an acknowledgement of the feminity other people think i dont want #but i like it. I am not a woman but i am feminine both in presentation and personality its pretty hard to deny #i always admired twinks not for their features but for their mannerisms #idk idk idk like i guess the easiest way to describe it is that #when someone uses she/her for me it feels like using it for a dr*g queen (<- dont want to be in the tag) #like its for play. for show. we are both acknowledging a presentation #a purpose to blurring the lines #where as he/him is utalitarian to me #thats what it should be thats what i am playing on #this game only works if cis people independently cant decide what to use. it only works if trans people can tell in an instant whats right #does that make sense #its why she/her doesnt bother me anymore -- theres no confidence behind it #they dont use it to say they see through the facade of manhood #they use it because they cant tell what would be playing my game -- the trick is that they both are #the indecision to me is the fun part. #does all of this make any sense at all #do not reblog #addition: i can tell this is true because whenever i meet an in-the-know cis person or another trans person they use he/him immediately #no questions. no answers. he/him. easy #but older cis people or ones who dont know or whatever have no idea. #it only hurts my feelings if they ask i say he/him and then they use she/her. thats not a game anymore its disrespectful #perhaps i should try out those he/she prnouns ive been hearing about. we'll see