#because honestly? be more aware of your acronyms no wonder no one was interested in your society

[bluemauve]

first of all, i'll give you a fair warning, euphemia; this is not going to be as nice an ask like the one sent before by someone who was clearly far too polite to your thick skulled self. especially considering you didn't even answer their question. i'm sure you won't publicly answer this ask anyways, since you're a quivering pussy.

(this is the point of no return. feel free to not read the rest of this ask, since you claim to not like confrontation.)

anyways, to be quite honest with you, i don't think you even truly comprehended what was being said in that ask other than your being wrong, which you took immediate offense to like an impulsive hothead with no self control would. speaking of which, congratulations! congratulations on finally admitting to being a victim-playing, self-righteous hypocrite, who is dumb enough to publicly hate on one half of a ship that you actively participate in the community of. seriously, what did you THINK was going to happen?

really, just...wow. never before have i ever seen such a whiny little bitch in the tomarry community, and that's saying something. this entire community is composed ONLY of whiny little bitches. i mean, be real with me for a second. for someone who claims to not want confrontation, you sure seem to keep asking for it by spewing your hot rancid takes all over the place. have you never heard of the T.H.I.N.K. (is it true? is it helpful? is it inspiring? is it necessary? is it kind?) acronym before? you'd greatly benefit from it. you MUST like the attention to some extent, but can't handle criticism in any way, shape, or form, so you have to play the victim card so people are forced to infantilize you and pull their punches. meanwhile, you can get off mostly scott-free, and get the "thrill" of being in a "debate", when really it's just another person trying their best to give you honest critique on your character and the way you act, and you vehemently, and rather ignorantly, not acknowledging any of it, and making an entirely different point on why you're not in the wrong. it's the most nonsensical and inane form of recrimination you can do, not that recrimination is something to be proud of either. and for the record, blocking them after saying your a whole lot of nothing is also not a "debate". i won't even go into the whole 'immediately blocking someone for breathing an inkling of criticism my way' system you've got going on. that's certainly not any form of debate. it's not even the sort of "debate" YOU like to do, which you previously had claimed to enjoy. it's pathetic.

(frankly, this is sickening behavior. i am genuinely sickened by you. you have zero consideration for others, and that is why i am utterly disgusted by you.)

i am aware that you are young, but you should be old enough that you hold at least a modicum of self awareness for christ's sake. you're legally considered an adult in most countries; act like it. i'm also hoping that your young age means you'll eventually grow out of whatever strange "criticizing" phase that you're in right now. oh, and for the record, it's not "criticizing" that you're doing, or whatever other bullshit name you call it. you're actively pissing all over people's passions and interests, and don't seem to feel guilty about it in the least when they freely admit to you that what you're doing affects them negatively. you just don't acknowledge it. not even the slightest bit of accountability from you. so disgraceful.

this is a side note more than anything, but the way you throw out "facts" and "evidence" to support your hot takes are just...well, plain wrong? i honestly question why you'd even think these things, or put them in your posts since they're either not true, or don't correlate to whatever point you're trying to make. i sometimes wonder if we're even reading the same material.

i won't be citing any direct sources in this ask from either the books or your posts, because in all honesty, i don't want to waste my time trying to talk to a brick wall if i have the choice. but if you'd actually like to have a real, intelligible debate, just post something on your account, or even better, shoot me a pm so we can talk. i'll cite direct examples to disprove, or at least broaden your mind a bit, regarding most of your volatile posts either in pms or in another ask if you'd like. but again, i'm sure you won't do either of those things, because you simply can't handle the fact that you can't shit in someone's cereal, and expect them to be fine with it, with no repercussions to yourself.

i hope this rant at the very least made you think about your actions moving forward. remember the T.H.I.N.K. acronym?

have a lovely day 😊

for the record, i did not block anyone interacting with my posts, they blocked me. they could've replied, but they didn't.

calling me a "quivering pussy" while hiding behind a burner account... why don't you say it to my face you dumbass bitch.

anywaysssss do i at least get an award for being the Whiniest Thick-skulled Bitch with a Quivering Pussy number 1?

wdym repercussions? bro this is tumblr . com i am talking about fictional men in the Harry Potter universe boning each other it's not that serious 🙄 if you wanted to contradict me with your sources you could have replied instead of sending me this threatening wall of text. i do answer them, so i'm not the best brick wall unfortunately. maybe i should try harder.

and it's not my job to coddle strangers on the internet. if they don't like what they see, they should do something about it, not RUDELY scream at me under my own posts.

#if people can point out what i said wrong without calling me names maybe i might look into it #you don't know me you don't get to call me names and expect me to take into consideration what youre saying #wah wah cry about it #also i dmed them and they said they were going to sleep so 🤷‍♀️ #turning off reblogs because i know people will agree with this person and i dont want to hear it #if you want to talk shit about me make your own post #Edit: i blocked them because i realised i truly don't care 🤗🤗🤗 peace and love

[tap-tap-tap-im-in]

Black Mage

“I don’t understand what you do, it all seems like black magic to me.” - A very honest and satisfied customer.

As someone who has had the pleasure and the curse of doing things that my boss doesn’t have the time or the context to understand, I can’t tell you how many times someone has expressed something like the above sentiment to me. I know a huge part of it is because I have been working at companies small enough that I don’t have very many peers who are fully aware of what I’m doing, and those few peers can’t always follow the logic I’m using. I honestly don’t know if that means I’m operating above them, or that my logic is hugely flawed, but after a few years of getting more positive results than negative I’m starting to trust my gut a lot more.

I’ve been called a doctor (I don’t hold a doctorate), a wizard (I don’t practice magic or magicks), and a lifesaver (I don’t know what flavor). I’ve also heard all sorts of negative descriptions of what I do, and its weird. These small companies need results that are affordable to maintain, and quick to implement, but the thing that they seem quickest to cast off, the thing that would bring my work from the shadows into the light, is documentation. I’ve tried my best to leave ample documentation at the positions I’ve left. I have no idea if it was enough, and at this point I don’t even really care because I was far more interested in making sure they had it than they were in me giving it to them.

I’ve learned a couple of things in the last few years of no one really knowing what I do, and I think I’d like to share those with you.

Keep documentation. As much of it as you can. If you’re the only one who knows something, if you forget it, everything is out to sea. Plus, if you decide to leave the position, you can hand over the documentation and not have any guilt about them not understanding what you did.

Find metrics for all of the work you do. They should be as honest as you can make them, but they need to be nicely quantifiable so that if your manager starts wondering about what it is you’re doing, you have a bunch of numbers to give them that look nice in a report to give to a client or upper management.

Lean into the laziness. I don’t mean miss deadlines or do sloppy work, those will get you fired, but instead relish in the fact that the only thing setting your own process is you. Research, learn, gather or build tools, and join online communities. All of these will make you better and faster at your job, and learning can be fun on its own, and you’d be surprised what kind of information you can tie back to your own job. I read about games and game engines all the time, my justification is that I look into the graphics technology and I crib some of their ideas to help me optimize websites and software.

I mentioned this above, but it really deserves its own point. Join a community of people who are doing something close to what you are doing. The hardest part of having a position like this is that there’s no real way to know if what you are doing is the right thing. Sure, it might be working for now, but is it the best? Learning from your peers can better your process, but it will also save you from a bunch of crippling doubt. Most people, even experts in their fields, are just kind of trying things to see if they work. The difference between experts and amateurs seems to be that experts do this ahead of time to plan their future actions, and amateurs do it almost exclusively in reaction to some deadline or emergency.

Be ethical. Having a position like this makes it exceedingly easy to lie. And you will get away with it, possibly for a long time. But it does catch up to you, and when it does it can kill your whole career, as well as get you fired. Plus I’ll hate you, because you’ve helped contribute to a lot of friction I’ve had with managers over the years.

Be understanding that people don’t understand what you are doing, or what you are saying. Learn to laugh it off. They’re not stupid or ignorant, they just don’t have the same specialized knowledge that you do. If you feel anger welling up, remember, your specialized knowledge is why you’re probably going to be very employable for a very long time.

If you would like to know what I do, here’s an incomplete list of projects I have worked on (they’re not all my best work, but they all taught be something):

PCI Complaint Credit Card Encryption (AES-256, double encrypted, second key is kept [also double encrypted] in an external database requiring IP, hostname, and API token to access. This one was extra dumb because for good measure I built an implementation of the Diffy Hellman exchange used in the communication between browsers and SSL websites and used it inside of the exchange that was already happening to connect to the SSL API in the first place. I encrypted the communication inside of the encrypted communication. I still have no idea if this did anything to help secure it, or if it was just giving the server processors busy work. But anecdotally, we never had anyone decrypt our data without both keys… so)

Completely rewriting a custom piece by piece CMS and then transforming it into a CRM (I hate that terrible acronym, it’s a client, employee, and project management portal)

Website optimization

Using Google Maps to outline your driveway to estimate the material needed to repave it (simpler than it sounds, I did this in three hours)

Writing a client to to automated cloud backups of files chosen by the user (Think Kryptonite, but way less of a budget)

Modifying the above client to sent status and health data back to a central server for monitoring (think LogMeIn, but way less of a budget)

Writing crawler with the aim of only requesting every resource once, even if the resource is used on multiple pages. (I hope all crawlers are built this way, but I suspect they’re not)

Evaluating the data from that crawler to create an SEO report about that website (Think SEM rush, but way less of a budget)

The worst API implementations I’ve ever seen, and I’ve used SOAP.

Writing JavaScript libraries for commonly requested “flashy” elements that leverage technology to make the effects as optimized as possible. (Think banner sliders using CSS transform, and parallax effects using HTML Canvas, anything to pass the heavy lifting over the the graphics hardware and free up the CPU for other work)

Database Diff tools for projects that don’t have proper version control for whatever goddamned reason (there’s no good reason, but you play the cards you’re dealt)

Automated migrations of data in and out of OpenCart, WordPress, Drupal, and even once out of static HTML files written in Dreamweaver V1.0 (and we cached back and forth from wordpress every night on the last one, a dumb requirement, but I did it.)

Calling up a client and telling them that their computer has a virus, and they need to disconnect it from the network, or I’m locking them out of their email account before they spam the entire North American continent. (And yes, you really do have to do this sometimes as a server admin when your boss refuses to let you just lock out the user.)

And, I shit you not, a passed over prototype for integration of a major Shipping Carrier’s new “Deliver To Very Large Drugstore Chain” API features into a woocommerce plugin. They would have sold the plugin along side several others, we would have made a few pennies on every order. (Managers, please tell your developers when a prototype is being tested in front a board of directors, then your developer may not go home when the prototype was bricked by a last minute feature the night before, assuming there will be time to work on it tomorrow)

#essay #? #programming #web development #php #javascript #node

[jawnkeets]

hello sorry to disturb you lovely person but i was wondering if you had some advices to have a better literary analysis, or a better culture well, i mean how can i improve my literary intelligence basically ? ( it may not be really clear but i hope you'll understand because i feel like i'm lost... )

hello anon! no need to be sorry, ur not disturbing me at all :+) feel free 2 send an ask at any time ✨✨✨

i’ll attempt to answer this by splitting ur ask into 2 parts. first i’ll try to give some tips on literary analysis, and then i’ll try to talk about the sort of wider awareness of lit (or the culture as you call it).

a little disclaimer: pls bear in mind that i am by no means qualified to speak about this in any way (i still very much consider myself a learner). i’ve generally been left alone throughout my education to do my own thing, which is a good thing in some respects and a bad thing in others; i don’t have the solid foundations that most ppl do, never following things like paragraph structures throughout lower school, and i didn’t know a thing about metre until the start of this month. however, because of my education i think i’ve managed to avoid a few conventional pitfalls. so, in short, you can take as much or as little of this advice as you like!

PART 1: literary analysis

• an excellent way to boost your analysis straight away, dull as it is, is to learn some literary devices beyond, say, alliteration and personification. being able to spot things like chiasmus and epiphora not only wows an examiner, but also enables you to talk about more things within a poem/ book/ play and thus broadens your literary scope in close reading.• remember that for each literary device you mention you should say what it REVEALS (DO NOT just list!!!). the best essays move from a literary device to an explanation of why this device is used - what does it reveal about a character, the speaker, or even the society that the poet or author was writing in?• rhythm and meter in a poem tick boxes in an exam, but can also lead to insightful analysis. how do the rhythm and meter add to the overall message of the poem? does, for example, the metre give a regularity to the poem? why might this be? is it broken at any point? how is this significant?• the above can be applied to rhyme scheme, too. look out for rhyming couplets at the end of a poem, which may give a sense of finality to the poem (or may seem to give a sense of finality when in actuality the speaker of the poem is far from decisive…).• it is important to remember that a particular rhyme scheme (or metre) doesn’t ALWAYS mean anything; it can mean different things in different poems, so instead of applying a ready-made formula, try to go into the exam knowing how to identify these aspects of a poem and then try to work out why you think the poet has used them in that particular poem. flexibility is key, which can be daunting but also somewhat liberating.• i personally find a ‘scribble method’ quite useful. this is where, when first approaching a piece of writing, you write down everything that comes into your head, regardless of how messy, or how basic. you then sort through your ideas, expanding upon what you think is worthwhile and discarding what you think is not. this method is generally more handy when not under time pressure, though, as it can get you into a muddle in the exam.• start simple and build up. it can be tempting to jump straight in but sometimes when you start simply new things can reveal themselves as you work your way up into more complex ideas! • perspective is extremely useful to consider. who is speaking and why? are they biased or objective? who are they speaking to and why?

unseen exam tips

• in an exam, i would approach a poetry or prose extract first by simply reading it, and trying to find out what it is about. then i would go through and highlight words/ phrases of interest, and label literary devices. finally, i would go through it again and build the main analysis. a brief paragraph plan can be useful before writing the essay.• acronyms can help sometimes as a go-to in an exam when you don’t have much time. for example, i use CFTTSOL - content (basic story, characters, who is speaking and why etc) form (poetry, prose, drama etc), tense (past/ present etc), tone (happy, sad, why? is the tone at odds with the subject matter? in emily dickinson’s ‘because i could not stop for death’, for example, the poem is about something dark but it is very jolly), structure/ syntax (rhyme, caesura, enjambment, any disrupted syntax, etc) other (anything not mentioned in the rest of the categories) and language (similes, metaphors, assonance, etc). i would recommend finding one that works for YOU and makes sense for YOU, because creating your own can really help to ease you into analysis.

PART 2: literary awareness

• read, read, read! i cannot stress the importance of wider reading enough, and also the importance of thinking whilst you read (making notes/ annotating books whilst you read is advisable). i am speaking from experience here - i didn’t read outside of the curriculum at all until the end of last year, and since i have started my literary analysis has increased tenfold. this is partly because practice is vital, but also because wider reading gave me an awareness that i could never have expected to gain. it enabled me to start making links between texts, genres, periods, etc – i began to see patterns and conventions in literature. for instance, a poem that breaks convention is easier to spot and talk about – to use a very basic example, a sonnet (usually a form of love poetry) about brutality/ violence toys with genre. if you had read some of shakespeare’s sonnets, you could then compare the violent poem with sonnet 18, to elucidate your point. this isn’t to say that you didn’t already know that sonnets were love poems, or that you wouldn’t have picked up on this without wider reading. but having read sonnets outside of class means that you can talk about this with greater clarity, authority and confidence.• i would also advise you to push yourself with the literary material you explore. it is difficult, but try to find nothing intimidating - read thick victorian novels, read modernist authors, read kant if you want, and even if the prospect of reading ‘harder’ texts doesn’t thrill you then try them anyway - you may be pleasantly surprised! part of the difficulty of studying this subject is that preconceived ideas can erect barriers and put you off. it is important to totally bulldoze these barriers and remind yourself that nothing is above you, and that you are capable. that’s not at all to say that you can’t read ‘simpler’ texts, and of course it is probably wise to admit to yourself when you perhaps need a greater literary background before you tackle a text (for example, i tried joyce’s ulysses, a modernist text full of allusion, when i have a barely working knowledge of greek mythology, and i admitted to myself that though it would not be impossible for me to read it, i would like to read more widely and then return to it in the future).• w i k i p e d i a. it’s often sniffed at but honestly don’t be afraid of using it! it’s an excellent way to absorb info fast. also don’t be ashamed of using websites like sparknotes if you don’t understand a poem to begin with! u shouldn’t rely on them for the crux of your analysis but they can be helpful to get started!• it’s perhaps obvious, but it helps to remind yourself that literature isn’t just fiction - try to read some critical essays if you can, and look at philosophy, history, psychology etc and how they relate to literature as studied in school. this is actually wayyyy more fun than it sounds (!) and will improve your general literary knowledge.• tumblr, whilst being a killer procrastination station, can also really help to broaden your knowledge. reblogged quotes from famous writers often stick around in your memory, and period moodboards can help you get a sense of different ages and help you to visualise what you’re studying. it’s also great to be in a community of passionate people - the passion of others on this site has definitely rubbed off on me!• make it relevant!! all of these texts and literary movements have shaped our society profoundly. as overdramatic as it sounds, look for the romanticism in a house party, or existentialism in internet memes, or hamlet in yourself. legacies are all around us, and seeing the world in this way can really bring literature to life.

literature is a subject where you get out what you put in. it’s relatively straightforward, if you work hard, to get very good grades in lit; if this is what you want, then having a solid knowledge of metre and literary terms, being able to spot them in texts, and then being able to describe what this reveals can get you top marks. but, in my opinion, to develop true literary intelligence you really have to let the subject permeate every aspect of your life. this is a subject where you really can take risks, be original and unique, and explore a huge amount of periods and ideas. if you see it reflected in the world around you, and think deeply and thoughtfully about everything you are reading, then the classwork honestly sorts itself out.

i hope this has been useful in some way and that it answers ur ask adequately!! if u have any further questions or require clarification please do not hesitate to let me know. i hope u have a wonderful day 💘

#sorry abt the length!! #this is longer than the essay i've been trying to write all day lol #asks #studyblr #litblr #english literature #literature

[muggle-writes]

10 Questions Tag

I genuinely don’t recall seeing this tag game come in, but either I missed it or I didn’t tag my responses. Either way, I found it again today, so @elizabethsyson thanks for the tag, here’s my answers

1. What book/s made you want to write?

I don’t think it was a book necessarily. Fanfiction inspired me to write and publish fanfiction of my own, but previously, I would just concoct something equivalent to fanfiction even though I didn’t know it had a name, entertain myself with it without ever writing it down, and then eventually forget and move on to something else. But I’ve always used those same unwritten (though still primarily verbal) creative endeavors as a way to process emotions. Later, writing (original fiction that was more individual scenes with no plot resolution) served the same purpose, and now fanfiction serves the dual purpose of being an emotional outlet (those don’t necessarily ever get published) and being a fun and social thing to share with other fans.

On the other hand, I’ve got so many memories of having written stories above and beyond what a school assignment would call for, going at least as far back as second or third grade, so who knows, maybe one book in particular did inspire me to write. But if so, I don’t remember what that original inspiration was.

Also there’s one book in particular that’s just... Awful. I bought it at a dollar store and honestly no wonder it was only selling there. Worst book I’ve ever read. And sometimes I’m writing out of spite because if something with that many plot holes and “plot twists” that ignore any foreshadowing the author set up and come out of literally nowhere can get published, then I’m also definitely good enough to get published if I ever wanted to.

2. What is your favourite genre to write in?

Fanfiction is totally its own genre, right? Besides that, the gray area where fantasy, urban fantasy, and realistic contemporary fiction all meet. I tend towards realism, even when I write magic, but I love to write in universes where mythical creatures can be real, too. It’s my favorite genre to write in because it’s where I’m comfortable writing, and also because those tend to be the stories I enjoy reading and therefore know how my own contributions compare. Also because I love worldbuilding, and being in a fantasy universe not so different from our own gives me plenty of space to explore exactly what’s the same or different and why.

3. What is your favourite genre to read?

Fanfiction again, because I can explore an arbitrary character through hundreds of different lenses and poke at all the facets of their identity almost indefinitely, and it’s not restricted to what happens to be plot relevant, or even to scenarios that are all compatible with a single timeline, and it’s so character driven. It’s by far my favorite thing. Fantasy, primarily in two different flavors. On one hand, fuzzy rules of magic where everything goes as long as the magic user is powerful or creative enough, as a backdrop to an allegorical, easily divided black and white morality story is a category I almost always love. Magic can do basically anything, and it’s easy to know what’s right and wrong, and who to root for. On the other hand, I love what Brandon Sanderson would call “hard magic” fantasy, where magic is just as structured, and nearly as understood, as science, which I enjoy combined with a plot in which the characters have as much nuance and shades of gray as in the real world. I tend to prefer things at one of those extremes, but I’ll read almost any fantasy story.

4. How do you think your reading habits have influenced your writing style?

I mean it's just like verbal language: whatever I surround myself is going to shape the ideas and phrases and slang that come back out of my brain. Likewise, if I’m creating a magic system “from scratch” it’s inevitably shaped by things I read or watched young(ish), including but not limited to the Belgariad, and Star Wars and Pern (so basically, strongly connected to the mind and limited mainly by what you can imagine) (the Dresden Files and Good Omens seem to have pretty similar ideas about magic, but I ingested those much later)

on the other hand I think that my habit of primarily reading, even over watching shows or movies, has contributed to how little I ever actually think about what a character looks like, except occasionally when introductions get delayed for some reason and I can't use names in narration. So characters I only know from reading, I have zero idea what they look like. For example, I only remember that Sabriel is deathly pale as her default state because I reread the beginning of the book recently on Libby (a library app) while debating whether to check it out and reread the whole series in order to potentially write a crossover fanfiction. Her appearance was mentioned once or twice in the first few chapters and then never again, and it wasn’t something other characters often remarked upon, so I promptly forgot. Even though it’s absolutely fitting. Idk I’m just really not a visual thinker apparently, and always having character names to reference only reinforces that because why do I need to know what someone looks like if I know who they are?

5. What is your go-to cure when you get writer’s block or can’t focus?

Focus is easier. I make sure I’ve eaten, and I put on music so I’m not distracted by the silence or by the sound of my own typing. Plus I'll keep something cold and caffeinated in arms reach to sip on when I'm tempted to relinquish focus.

Writer’s block is harder to overcome and usually ties in with depression, so I’ll sometimes go months without writing and come back when I have energy for anything again... But in terms of actual strategies, sometimes rereading what I’ve already written will kickstart my unblocked writing, which is why I try very hard to only stop writing at “stopping points” if it’s genuinely the end of the story. Because when I come back later, it’s so much easier to read a partial chapter, get into the swing of it, and remember where it was going, than to start carving a new chapter out of nothing. Another thing that helps chip away at writer’s block is to talk to someone who is enthusiastic about my stories, or who is willing to let me infodump. Those are the only two things I can really control that have helped. Occasionally other things will help, like getting the book review style comments on fics (when I also have time to sit down and write while the comment is still new enough to make me surprised-and-happy over it), or if I can find the right balance of “obligation to someone else” and “not so much pressure I implode” (like, for example, I submitted a half-baked WIP to the recent WIP Blind Date event, and the afternoon after we got our assignments I started getting motivated to add to what I’ve posted about it to have something “worth” sharing for the event, and even though I didn’t get the momentum going enough to make progress until after I’d already been reviewed, I made a large amount of progress on that fic just because there was some amount of external pressure.... But that only works if I only do it to myself occasionally. Too often and I’m just annoying everyone by asking them to expect something from me and never following through.)

6. Why did you decide to start writing?

I think I got the right amount of compliments and encouragement when I was in elementary school, on writing assignments and challenges, then I was proud of the original stories I was writing in middle school, and then in high school I figured out that I could create barely-not-me characters and put them through things I wished (or feared) would happen to me and explore the consequences... My depression started getting bad around then, and with it came executive dysfunction and I started having to focus only on schoolwork and still barely finished everything I needed to. I might have stopped writing for longer but then I started publishing fanfiction. initially because my brain was generating it anyway, and I was in a shitty living situation with nothing else to do with my free time that I spent hidden away in my room besides actually type it up, but I kept at it because I was proud of my stories again, and because of the social aspect. And now I continue writing because I love the excuse to explore characters, or just because I can put characters I already love into new and interesting situations.

I might eventually write my own original novel, just because being on writeblr and seeing everyone else writing original works is super motivating, but that requires I have ideas for a setting and a plot and for characters all at once and I’m trying not to force it.

7. Pick a character you’ve written/are writing. What personality trait of theirs defines them most?

I’m going to cheat and peek a bit in the future to when I’m actually writing that fic featuring Julie Kwan, because I ought to have a better handle on her before I get too much further. She’s got a very sharp mind, very good at logical deductions (even if they involve magic before she really knows magic is real) and she’s also fairly good at reading other people. She’s also not afraid to confront people, whether they’re people who are literally threatening her and her friends, or whether they’re her friends and they’re not taking care of themselves sufficiently, or anything in between.

8. What is their primary language? Do they speak it natively? Do they speak any other languages?

...I'm not actually sure. English is her primary language, as she has grown up in the USA. If Julie speaks other languages, Mandarin would be fitting (because that’s Wei’s primary language, and I know Kate also speaks it, so that could add to team unity if over half of them all speak the same non-English language), or maybe Korean depending on her family (since Kwan is usually a Korean name.) Regardless, if she speaks any other languages, then I suspect she also speaks Klingon. @davetheshady can you confirm?

9. What does the character value the most in their life?

Julie is very focused on academia, she’s accomplished and rightfully proud of herself. She wants to be respected, (she’s so tired of being disrespected in academic circles just because she’s neither white nor a man), but she also very much values her friends.

10. If they met you, what would they have to say to you?

I think she would make fun of me for quoting her so often but she makes so many pop culture references, I don’t think she has room to complain. She would probably also encourage me to pursue graduate degrees no matter how “impractical” other people find the subject.

#tag games #writeblr 10 questions #anyway @dave thanks for letting me borrow your characters :) #i was determined not to tag you again until I had more progress on that fic but uh? I almost mostly have a plot so I guess that counts #it's ridiculous - basically saying house elves have relatives in one of the fae courts (haven't decided which one) #but i've never said this wouldn't be a crackfic so I think it's exactly on brand for the tone I've been aiming for #spew gets briefly revived until julie suggests a better name for it #because honestly? be more aware of your acronyms no wonder no one was interested in your society #i'm really skeptical of the ''oh house elves LIKE serving humans'' explanation #so instead the same humans that tricked the house elves into perpetual/generational slavery #also wrote into the contract that if a house elf was ''freed'' they'd surrender all their worldly possessions to the human family #and some other nasty clauses #so basically most have to be as desperate and mistreated as Dobby was before they're willing to try #but it's not because they're happy where they are just that the process of leaving is designed to screw them over and discourage it #also probably a prohibition about talking to unbound relatives about the contract but that doesn't say 'never mention it to a human' so...

[sinasbodyextension-blog]

REFLECTION DOCUMENT FINAL

***The following in brackets will not be part of the final document that I send to teachers.***

( Honestly, I would have liked to return to the document several times had I had more time. However it does feel good to have a starting point today, and that I had the week to at least think about some questions and also to collect the feedback from Floor and Rixt. I choose to not include my remarks towards that feedback in the final document, as it only asks to place the answers. All the same, these reflections remain available on my tumblr.)

Anthropology reflection questions


Please reflect on the anthropological input of this trimester and how it has influenced your design by elaborating on these questions: 1. Please describe the essence of the ‘anthropological perspective’ in the design process. The range of topics covered by anthropology all have something in common: they relate to humans. Thus the anthropological perspective is strongly based on understanding humans and the complexity of the issues that we face. Moreover it is cross-cultural in that it relates to the differences and similarities in cultures, in order for people from different backgrounds to better understand each other (this is where being aware of ethnocentrism comes in). It also recognises the multiple truths that can exist in given complexity and therefore strives to understand by questioning and critical thinking. As a social science, it entails qualitative research- meaning field research, interviews etc. Therefore in the design process, the anthropological perspective is not a solitary one, but one that connects you to people outside of your bubble.

2. In what ways has the anthropological approach given you deeper insights into your research topic? To begin with, the anthropological approach has brought to me the necessity to be critical of my own work and identify any misdirected assumptions. Through the lectures I find I have gained a greater sensitivity around topics of inclusion: just because it is true for me, is it true for others? Moreover it has driven home the idea, that almost any topic can be connected to those big topics that we have spoken about in class- identity, citizenship, Sex& Gender etc. I was weary of that in the beginning, but the dots aligned later on in the process and I got a lot of use for my project out of past lectures and my conversation with Anna. 3. What were the most interesting and relevant lecture topics? I particularly enjoyed the Sex& Gender lecture, because I once had a project about the prostitution law in Germany and am genuinely interested/ worried about the stigma surrounding sex work and what it may mean for people’s safety. Identity was relevant to my project as I am interested in ‘behavioural autonomy’. I also remember the citizenship lecture as broadening my horizon by bringing up a lot of points that I was previously unaware of. 4. What do you think about incorporating other fields such as anthropology into your future design processes?  I love research and discussion-based situations, so I think it is highly likely that I will include anthropology or other fields in my future design processes. Furthermore it has driven home the idea of critical thinking and uncovering bias. I can imagine that deriving knowledge from several fields of knowledge can aid in increasing awareness around preconceptions and bias, as well as move one closer to accepting that there is no ultimate truth. This in turn will make my designs more founded on a broad research and more inclusive. 

Self Evaluation Friday Project

Read these questions, think them over and answer honestly. Answers should be roughly 5-10 lines per question: 1. Please assess yourself this trimester Now I will say that I always take responsibility to bring good energy to the room. This shows not only in a positive attitude towards the day, but also my engagement during the anthropology lectures, as well as me encouraging my group members, listening actively and discussing to find interesting angles to approach their topic from. It is in this class that I got to value team work at another level, because it was my group members (teachers too of course) who, now I see, emboldened me to really open up and develop a more explorative mindset towards my topic. Fair to say my whole opening up could have happened earlier on. However looking back I really see progress not only in how my topic evolved, but also in terms of personal growth and how I approach situations.

2. What was the most important learning moment of your process? It was week 6, that I had the GREAT REVELATION. Initially sparked from my artistic research in philosophy and then backed up by the expert talks I really changed my focal point to something that I could not have expected in the beginning. I was positively surprised by the research and connected topics that couple with that field of interest and got renewed excitement to complete the project well. That is when I learned that I really need to dedicate the time to critically think by myself, be open to the viewpoints of my peers, and that I’m a research-driven person. 3. What have you learned about the different ways of working? A lesson where I learned a lot was when we had the group talks and before we spoke about the different roles that one can have within a group and how to create an overall positive group dynamic. This really made me hyper aware and I felt like I could contribute with my strengths, but also paid more attention to my weaknesses in order not to override anyone and make sure everyone is heard. A lot of the creativity techniques, the acronym word creator, drawing in quick pace etc where out of my comfort zone, but I can see how they can help me get ‘unstuck’ in the future. This project also helped me make the connection to other classes this whole year, as I now perceive them as different methodologies in my tool belt as a designer. Lastly, I got to value the tumblr over the course of the trimester, because I found it really beneficial to have a central archive of my progress, as it allows me to reexamine the steps that I have taken. 4. Ask a fellow student about your strong points and what you still need to learn [And place their answer here]. Fellow student 1: In general I would describe Sina as smart, strong-minded, reflective, outspoken, engaged, helpful, critical and very fun. When I encounter her during class or outside of school she is always happy, energetic, involved and smart without being annoying. This is hard and is probably a testament to her self-awareness.There are instances during her work where I wonder if she does herself any favours by acting a certain way. These “ways of acting” I am talking about are really just the flip side of most of the characteristics mentioned above. Sometimes she is too critical to the point of holding back others in their creative process or holding back herself in her own creative process. The fact that she is outspoken sometimes blows up in her face when it is not appreciated in the situation, I think this has happened a few times during this year. Basically what I would say about this is for her to learn to pick her battles, not everything is worth fighting for. As far as engagement goes (I have personal experience with this) watch out that you don’t become too engaged. Leave some space for others for the sake of them but especially for your own sake. Sina has a lot of good qualities that just need to be trained the right way. If this happens, she can go really far in life. Fellow student 2: Strengths: I see you as a hardworking, serious, passionate, engaging, opinionated (In a good way ;)), motivated person. You aim for a certain standard and will achieve this even though it means you have to work twice as hard. You will keep on challenging yourself in every way possible. You are eager to learn, if you have to work with a topic that isn’t familiar you will do an extensive research and try to get as much as information as possible. I think this attitude will give you a lot as a future designer. To learn: All though you are trying to challenge yourself, it is sometimes good to take one step back and try to challenge yourself in a way that it is still manageable. By trying to be more realistic on how things go in practice. 5. How can we improve the Friday program for the next students? Besides more time, which of course was just the holidays… I really liked the energy of working in our groups in the beginning, so I would have appreciated a moment each class, where we update each other about our progress. For me personally it would have been nice to create a research document, because it would have helped me zero-in. However I don’t know whether that tends towards every student and in some ways both philosophy and writing also encourage that, so I’m also happy to take the initiative and do that for myself. :-) 

[jasonhaw]

How ‘Jane the Virgin’ gets Bisexuality Right

Spoiler alert: If you have not been updated on Jane the Virgin, update yourself first then read this article.

Even with the assumption that mainstream media is becoming more and more “liberal,” LGBT representation in American media is still very poor. The latest Studio Responsibility Index from LGBT media monitoring organization GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation – but the acronym is now being used to stress the inclusion of bisexual and transgender people) gave “Poor” and “Failing” ratings on all major Hollywood studios.

Minority representation is important for many reasons. Sociologist Eric Anthony Grollman, in his personal blog, summarizes the reasons very neatly: it gives minorities a voice, makes them more visible, and validates their identity. When you see someone on TV or the movies that you identify with, doesn’t it get you excited? Doesn’t it make you feel like you’re not so alone after all?

This TIL post dissects the latest episode of the CW comedy Jane the Virgin. I’ve recommended this show in a previous blog post (which you can read here), but fundamentally the show is a meta-telenovela – it takes on every telenovela trope in its plot and makes fun of it. It also injects socio-political commentary on topics such as immigration, religion, and the family. My personal favorite episode is Season 3, Episode 3 (Chapter 47), when she finally loses her virginity, and the way that the show portrayed it is probably the best sex episode I have ever watched anywhere. There’s a great Vox article, and many others, that analyze this episode, so I won’t touch on it anymore.

But my second favorite episode would have to be this week’s episode – Season 4, Episode 5 (Chapter 69). The show’s producers probably wanted to talk about sex because of the chapter number but I did not expect that they would touch on something that still is invisible even within the LGBT community – bisexuality.

Some (spoiler) context: Adam is Jane’s newest love interest. While he’s a new character on the show (he was introduced in the Season 3 finale), he’s not a new character in Jane’s life. When they were teenagers, they planned on getting hitched, much to the disappointment of her mother Xo and grandmother Alba. The wedding never pushed through because they discouraged Adam, and Jane and Adam never saw each other again until Adam found a letter by Jane’s ex-husband Michael (May he rest in peace!). By this latest episode, they have been dating together for quite some time, Adam has warmed up to Jane’s son Mateo, and Adam has already turned down a major career offer, which would have demanded him to move, to be with Jane. So they’re really in love at this point.

But from a plot perspective, there’s this gap between Adam and Jane as foolish teenagers and Adam and Jane finding each other again. The show is starting to fill in the gaps, and this episode gave us the reveal that Adam is bisexual. His coming out process to Jane is beautifully portrayed, and I want to spend a lot of detail how Jane the Virgin gets the portrayal right.

I split the post into headers – which I will call the three stages of the bisexuality coming out process. The process works both ways – for the person coming out, which is Adam in this case, and for the person accepting the news, which is Jane in this case.

 Stage 1: Adam: Embarrassment Jane: Reflex Acceptance

Jane (J): So you’re bisexual?

Adam (A): If you’re into labels.

Here, Jane clarifies Adam’s sexual orientation. Adam gives an answer that is both clear and vague at the same time. It is clear in the sense that he is not straight, but vague in the sense that he does not definitely confirm that his “official” sexual orientation is bisexual.

Jane’s question insists on a label. Some bisexual people may want to identify themselves as “bisexual,” but a lot also want to define bisexuality as a rejection of the notion that one has to play for only one team. I like to define bisexuality as one that transcends the need for gender to be a definitive criterion for choosing a romantic partner.

J: Do you date men and women?

A: I had a boyfriend in our school when everyone was experimenting, and another in Fort Green, when everyone wasn’t.

J: Cool. It’s just that we’ve had so many long talks. How come you’ve never mentioned this?

A: It just didn’t feel that relevant.

Narrator (N): I mean, more relevant than who’d win in an epic battle between Batman and Wolverine, which has been discussed at length.

Here, Jane demands an answer why she was not informed about this. Adam’s response is an insistence that he does not want to be defined by his sexual orientation alone. While it is understandable for Jane to be entitled to intimate details about her romantic partner, it is also Adam’s prerogative when he wants to reveal those to Jane. As a comic book graphic artist, Adam would rather have a lengthy discussion about a hypothetical battle between Batman and Wolverine than have a lengthy conversation about why he is bisexual.

A: And I guess I was… nervous. It’s become an issue with people whom I’ve dated before.

J: Well, you’ve never dated me before… Okay, you have… Not recently. My point is… is… I’m totally okay with it. You have exes, I have exes, everybody has exes!

And these two lines really define what Stage 1 is really about. Adam is really embarrassed to come out to Jane because he knows that to a lot of women (and even the gay guys he has dated before), this is a relationship deal breaker. Adam knows that Jane is entitled to know about his sexuality, and he has been probably planning when to tell her since that fateful night he delivered Michael’s letter. But he also needs to be comfortable in coming out – that his coming out should not also mean the end of their relationship. Because such a dichotomy is not fair, and a problem that most bisexual men encounter on a regular basis. Most bisexual men self-select the women they date because if they feel that a woman is not open to begin with, then the whole thing is really a non-starter.

Jane’s response is very interesting because it reflects every self-proclaimed liberal who grew up in a very Catholic (read: conservative) environment. A lot of Ateneans would love to identify as liberal (as the Jesuits are the most “liberal” Catholics!) but I have come to realize that their self-proclaimed liberalism has gone unchecked. I know this for a fact because I went through a series of stress tests when I was living in Washington DC for a year. And Adam’s coming out is that kind of test for Jane. In her head, she knows she should be okay with it, so her reflexive response was that. But as we move on to the next stages, we realize that she is totally not okay with it.

 Stage 2: Adam: Disappointment Jane: Paranoia

(Lunch date)

Male waiter arrives with their orders

Waiter: Here you go… (Looks at Adam) Nice tats.

A: Oh, thanks.

Sexy, romantic music plays in Jane’s head as she thought the waiter was flirting with Adam and Adam is flirtatiously smiling back, then the waiter flirtatiously winks and leaves.

J: So, is that… your type?

A: What?

J: Just asking.

A: If I’m into the waiter?… I didn’t notice ‘cause I’m with you.

J: (whispering) Right. (nods) Sorry. I’m acting weird. I’m just trying to wrap my head around it because I’m not into women.

A: Maybe… or maybe you just haven’t explored that side of yourself?

…

A: Hey, look, is this something that’s gonna get in our way?

J: What? No.

A: ‘Cause you seem so pretty hung up on it

J: Honestly, I’m not

(Scene changes to Jane talking to her mom Xo)

A: I’m completely hung up on it! And I don’t wanna be.

Xo (X): Well, it makes sense that you are

A: Yeah because it took him so long to tell me and because there’s a double standard, you know. When women hook up, it’s looked at as sexy, but men are immediately marginalized because our whole culture revolves around the male gaze.

X: I’m not exactly following all that, but I hear you about the double standards (changes topic)

Jane was paranoid during their lunch date. She was paranoid even in a later scene, where she wondered if Adam hooked up with one of his friends, and Adam called her out on her paranoia, disappointed. The waiter was attractive, so he probably is someone’s type, but the possibility that it could be Adam’s type puts her on edge. Up until this point, she has not expressed jealousy in any of her relationships (case in point: she was never a jealous lover when the romantic plot of the show revolved around her love triangle with Rafael and Petra). This suggests that as a woman comfortable with her womanhood, she need not be jealous of other women coming near her lovers. But she is not comfortable with her personhood, that it could be the primary object of desire for Adam. She thinks of other men as competition she cannot compete with, because she cannot give what a man can. Adam loves her as a person, who just happens to be a woman. This is the fact that she needs to reconcile with herself as the show progresses.

Jane starts to realize that her reflexes were not reflective of what she truly felt about the situation. And Adam is very clearly disappointed about it. Adam knows that this is something that is going to take some time for Jane to process, but the subtext of his lines suggest that she should not have given him false hope that she was okay with it.

I appreciate Jane’s self-awareness in the scene with her mom. In the earlier episodes of the show, she was a graduate student in literature and her thesis adviser on her novel was a well-respected authority on gender studies. So she understands how the male gaze is applied to Adam’s context, and she also understands how her upbringing has prevented herself from straying away from the male gaze. She begins to struggle with her principles and how she applies it in real life. Xo not understanding how the male gaze applies to Adam’s context but applies to her own (she’s trying to convince her husband Rogelio to get a vasectomy) is a reflection of a bigger societal incompetence – not being able to wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality.

 Stage 3 Adam: Acceptance Jane: (True) acceptance

(During Lina’s bachelorette party – Lina is Jane’s best friend who is about to get married.)

Lina (L): And you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had (context: She just realized she was marrying the male version of her best friend Jane)

J: And you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had

L: I love you Jane

J: I love you too

(sexy music comes on, Jane tries to kiss Lina)

L: What the hell, were you gonna kiss me?

J: What? No, don’t be ridiculous! I mean… Yeah I was…

(cut to commercial)

J: I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking

Narrator: Seemed like you were thinking of making out with your best friend

(Lina chuckles)

J: I guess I’m still a little freaked out by Adam big bisexuality reveal.

L: Well, a pretty smart friend once told me, “You fall far who you fall for”

J: Yeah, but this is different. I’m not freaked out by his sexuality. I’m freaked out that he kept it from me.

L: (rolls eyes) Hmm…

J: What?

L: As your best friend in the world, and the person you just tried to make out with, that’s a bunch of crap.

J: Excuse me?

L: Don’t try to make this about him hiding. Figure out what is really going on.

J: (exhales deeply) Well, I guess it’s because…

L: Lady, tell him, not me… because it’s my freaking bachelorette party…

This is my second favorite scene of the episode. First, Adam’s suggestion that Jane explore her “bi” side really got to her and so she tried to experiment with her best friend. Second, Lina called her out on her bullshit (which is what best friends are really supposed to do) that her issue was about the timing of the reveal, when in fact it is really about Adam being bi. This show has always been reflexive, and I’m glad that they have remained consistent with the self-awareness plot device.

(later that night, back in Adam’s apartment)

J: Can we talk?

…

J: So yeah, it wasn’t that you waited a long time to tell me, it was what you told me. Which became pretty clear after I tried to kiss Lina

A: What?

J: I know. That was a momentary lapse of judgment. But you’re obviously right. I did freak out. I guess, I… I just have questions, which are silly and stupid.

A: Go on, ask me.

J: Is being bisexual a stop on your way to coming out as gay?

A: Definitely not. It just means I am open to a connection with a man or a woman. What else you got?

J: Well I guess I feel a little insecure, you know. It’s not like I can give you what a man can.

A: Yeah, you’re right. You can’t. But you can’t give me what another woman can give me either. But it doesn’t matter, because I choose to be with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else, regardless of gender.

A: Yeah, really. We’re in a monogamous relationship, which means that you’re not allowed to kiss anyone else.

J: (smiling) I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, she hardcore rejected me.

A: (smiling) Well then, she’s an idiot…

(Kiss scene)

A: (joking) Oh, Bob. (Jane gasps, laughing). I’m kidding, kidding, it’s Jim, right?

Now, this is my favorite scene, and the first time I watched it, I was in tears because Adam said the perfect words to Jane. Jane’s admission of her biases is a relief to Adam, because he knows that she is now along the road of true acceptance. Her embarrassment in asking questions is also another societal representation – our friends would love to accept us, but they are not educated about it. But they are afraid to ask.

And if there is one thing that you would pick up with this 2000 word blog post, it is this: 

The best way to make your LGBT friends know that you accept them for who they are is when you ask thoughtful questions. 

Don’t be afraid to ask, as long as you are not coming from a position of condemning your friend. Of course you are ignorant – you’re straight and you do not have the capacity to understand what non-straight people experience on a daily basis. It’s the whole idea about being with the “other” – we can never know what others are truly experiencing, but we can journey with them.

The two questions Jane asked are probably the top two questions everyone asks about bisexual people, and I promise you 100% of your bisexual friends are going to answer the exact same way that Adam did when you ask those questions to them. These questions are not intrusive – in fact, it’s an admission of your biases that allow your bi friends to accept you also as part of their journey. It means that you are open to being informed, changing your opinion, or even join them in fighting for their rights. It wasn’t just Jane accepting Adam for who he is, it is also Adam accepting Jane as a woman capable of understanding what he is going through. Let’s go back to what Adam said – he knows that his sexual orientation has been a deal breaker before, so naturally he will be skeptical when he has to come out to a new person. But Jane’s openness has allowed him to be accepting as well. He’s changing hearts one person at a time.

If you haven’t watched Jane the Virgin, then please do. And if you want talk more about bisexuality, leave me a DM at @mockingjason on Twitter. Let’s have a thoughtful and informed conversation.

#TIL #bisexuality #JanetheVirgin #TV

[sapphiresea]

1-29 hehehehehehhehehe.... if not all the evens lol!

 pride month questionnaire.    

what is your sexuality? i’m an ace-spec lesbian.

what do gender do you identify as? cisgender female.

how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? oh gosh. i really de-sexualized myself for a long time because i couldn’t stand the thought of being with a guy and i just didn’t think being with a woman was an option... but i remember being acutely aware of it when i was about 13 years old, panicking, and then doing my best to repress it.

do you have any preferences? eyes are a really big thing for me. not necessarily shape or color. i just really love being able to look into a woman’s eyes and see a sparkle. but mostly i look for someone i can laugh with and be real with, you know? it’s really important with me to be with someone i can be myself around and who wants to enjoy life with me.

share a positive memory about coming out! aside from the fact that literally no one was shocked i’m gay and everyone was shocked that i was dating someone besides my best friend... well, shortly after i came out to my best friend, i went to visit her. i was staying with her family, who didn’t know ( and still doesn’t know ) that i’m into girls. her cousin, a grown woman who was raised very, very conservative had actually never heard of gay people before and we were sitting there watching glee with her and kurt came on the screen. tina explained to her cousin that he was interested in men the way a lot of men are interested in women and her cousin looked horrified. i mean, she gasped and exclaimed, “surely there must be some kind of cure for these people!” or something along those lines. she was mortified. and my best friend, without missing a beat, jumped in and shut it down, telling her that there’s nothing wrong with gay people and there doesn’t need to be a ‘cure.’ and i just remember it positively because she said something when she knew i couldn’t without outing myself, and i just very much appreciated it.

how do you feel about pride month? pride all day every day. i mean, where i live, for no logical reason, our pride isn’t until september, so it’s mostly just on the internet that i celebrate in june. but hey, it gives me more reason to make gay jokes, so i’m all for it. but more than that, considering our history and all the lgbtqia+ community has been through to be seen as people, yeah, i think pride month is extremely important. i just think we need to do more to educate everyone – both in and out of the community – on our history and how far we’ve come...not to mention how far we still have to go.

do you participate in pride related events? any other events? surprisingly, not a lot? i’ve been to a few, and i’m definitely going to pride this year, but the community here isn’t very large and a lot of the events are outdoors or in bars, and considering i can’t drink or be in the sun, i don’t often have much to do, you know?

how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? i feel like a lot of them are very narrow. most of the roles are cis white male gays, and even then, they’re quite clichéd. lesbians get killed off or end up with tragic endings. bisexual women are erased. bisexual men barely even exist at all. and then there’s, like, one or two trans characters on all of media that tend to be played by cis people. we’ve certainly gotten better with representation, but there is a very long way to go from here. and maybe once it stops being ‘brave’ for a straight/cis actor to play a gay/trans role and we’re not heralding a movie for great representation when there’s one throwaway line about a female character potentially having a girlfriend that’s not even confirmed by more than a shrug ( looking at you, power rangers ), i’ll start taking it more seriously as progress.

do you feel pride in who you are? yes. i would like to be as gay as possible. life might be easier if you’re straight, but god, at what cost???

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? i’m lucky and a lot of the people ( though certainly not all ) have been pretty supportive of me. but i didn’t know any gay people growing up. mostly, i found self-acceptance through media. watching olivia and natalia fall in love on guiding light was the first time i let myself consider my sexuality. through that fandom, i met a couple older lesbians – most notably, marie, who i called my nana, and who acted as a mentor. she took me under her wing and really encouraged me to love myself. portia de rossi also had a big influence. reading her book, i really connected with her. so while i’ve never met her, i would say she was a very important figure in my journey, as well.

tell us about your first crush? my first crush – though, thanks to compulsory heterosexuality and heteronormativity, i didn’t recognize it at the time – was on a blonde girl in my third grade class named sam. we met her first day at school when we literally wore the same shirt but in different colors ( mine was purple, hers was blue ) and we thought that was really cool, so we started hanging out at recess. she straddled a line between being a tomboy and a girly-girl in a way i can’t explain. i was entranced by her. i would’ve followed her anywhere like a lost little puppy. she moved away to another province after a few months and because it pre-dated the internet being such a big thing, we lost touch instantly. i never did find out what happened to her. but i swear for those few months, my little eight year-old self was in love.

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? take your time coming out and telling people. you aren’t lying by being in the closet. your safety and comfort comes above all else. but try to find people – even if they’re online – who will accept you for you and who you can be yourself around. being lgbtqia+ is not something to be ashamed of, no matter how many people try to tell you otherwise.

have you come out to friends and family? yes. most people know i’m gay, especially since i can’t keep myself from making terrible jokes about it all the time. i’ve outed myself a lot just for a laugh. the only people who don’t know are my best friend’s family. it sucks, but it’s because of the culture they grew up in and i get it. i don’t like it, but i get it. and i love them too much to risk them hating me.

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? i don’t really have feelings about it, but it does tend to get that diana ross song stuck in my head.

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? yes. there is one big closet from which we all emerge.

any tips on coming out? just do it in your own time. do it in a way in which you feel comfortable. the rest is up to you, honestly. there’s no one right way to do it.

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? aside from being killed off? aside from never letting the actual lgbtqia+ people play the lgbtqia+ characters? aside from representation being celebrated when it’s just a tiny hint that a character might not be straight or cis? ...lack of puns. almost every non-cishet person i know makes so many jokes about their gender/orientation all the time for their own amusement. if we could replace the disgusting homophobic/transphobic jokes that are like “lol look at these weird queer people!” with lighthearted jokes from the lgbtqia+ character, i would be stoked. but address the actual problems first and then get to that one.

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? i mean... representation is so freaking important because it not only allows us to accept ourselves, but helps people outside the community to actually see us as humans. i swear if it wasn’t for will & grace, my parents would’ve had a very different reaction to my coming out. but i also just really love seeing cute wlw being cute. also this was my favorite thing to ever happen.

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? most of my teachers played the hypotheticals, if they acknowledged the community at all. they spoke of it in debate terms like none of us existed for real. most of them just ignored the subject altogether. the only time i remember it being specifically addressed was in eighth grade when my music teacher’s son came out and she gave us all a big anti-homophobia speech. she said, “one in ten people is gay, which means at least two of you are.” and that was when i promptly turned bright red and internally panicked because my first thought was, “i wonder who the other one is...” followed by “oh my god, no. no. no. i’m not gay!!!” lol nice try, thirteen year old me.

do you practice safe sex with the same gender? i mean i’m ace-spec and i don’t have a lot of sex... but like.... since i’ve never had sex with someone who could get me pregnant or who has stds.... umm... no... but where tf would you even get a dental dam? has anyone even seen those?

what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? no sense of humor. i dated a girl who i swear could not laugh. not just at my jokes, but i barely saw her crack a smile in three dates, and that’s as long as we lasted. i was just so not into it.

what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? dimples. and making me laugh.

how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? yes. more of those, please. i mean, it’s not like i can walk into a starbucks and meet other wlw. i’ve literally only ever met one in the wild and, oh my goodness, let me tell you, we glomped on to one another so quickly. but everyone else, i’ve met over the internet or on an app.

how do you feel about the term “queer” ? i personally like it and use it often. i mean, all of the words in the acronym, every identity has been used as a slur before, and i can and will reclaim it. but i also respect that a lot of people don’t feel the same way. i won’t use it to describe someone if i know it makes them uncomfortable.

how does you country view the lgbtq community? generally we’re pretty well accepted, but you know, there are assholes everywhere. and i also live in the most conservative part of the country, which is fun.

favorite lgbtq actor/actress? well, i mean, i’m obviously a big kate mckinnon fan. i also really love portia de rossi.

any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? be open-minded and challenge your own biases.

what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? “can i watch?” seriously. i’ve been asked that too often. it’s not funny and it’s definitely not attractive. just fuck off.

how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender? i’m fine with it as long as people are asking out of curiosity and a desire to learn, you know? if they’re not questioning whether i’m really a lesbian or whatever, i’m totally cool with it. oh! unless they’re asking for details about my sex life or something gross.

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