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#because even if she doesn't exercise that power over it the fact remains that the context in which they live makes that possible
coquelicoq · 5 months
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we get a lot of really great stuff in system collapse about murderbot's relationships with ART and ratthi, which makes sense, because it spends almost the entire book with them. but i also love how even though mensah isn't there for most of the story, other people keep reminding mb of her:
chapter 2, page 25: “From ART’s personnel file, she [Karime] was older than Mensah and she didn’t look like an intrepid space explorer, either, even in the protective environmental suit.”
2, 27: “It took Karime three seconds to process the abrupt statement. (She was almost as good at not looking annoyed as Mensah was.) She kept her expression neutral and patient.”
2, 28: “In the underground colony room, Karime lifted her brows. ‘Another occupied site?’ I thought she was being careful not to show too much reaction. It was the way Mensah would have played it.”
4, 70: “Iris looked at me and I saw her hesitate, because her hesitation looked a lot like Dr. Mensah’s hesitation. And I realized I really didn’t want to go down there.”
5, 104: "Iris has that same thing as Dr. Mensah, the thing where she’s able to look and sound calm under circumstances where shit is possibly about to go down.”
it's spent so much time with her and it knows her so well and respects her so much that she's the model against which it compares all other humans. it thinks about her when they're not together. it's protective of her. it has such total faith in her competence. it (non-romantically) loves her and doesn't want to not see her again. idk man, it just gets to me! and they were teammates (oh my god they were teammates!!)
bonus:
I said, aloud, "You have to be kidding me." (ch. 2, p. 28)
seven pages later, in reaction to the same thing:
Mensah had had time to review the feed video. She muttered, "Oh, you have to be kidding me." Yeah.
twinsies 🥰
349 notes · View notes
space-blue · 8 months
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Ahsoka but the characters are better... The plot... everything is better.
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I was talking/venting in RBs with @kanansdume on their post, and I started writing a reply that was just too long and in depth. So it's now its own post.
Offering you an alternative version of events for Ahsoka's first 4 episodes:
The cause of the break up between Hera, Ahsoka and Sabine, is Ezra.
Hera is more of a politician than a general these days, and if she sees action it's to police conflict and hunt down empire remnants. She's NOT under the impression that everyone who kept on living under the empire needs to be eradicated or whatever her deal is right now. She's busy splitting work with Jacen and not really able to help either of her friends as each would want to.
Sabine has never given up. She's still actively looking for Ezra.
Not Ahsoka. On her end, she's given up. She wrote off Ezra as a hero. She grew up watching Jedi sacrifice themselves to buy others some time or make doomed attempts to kill powerful enemies. She thinks Ezra is dead (gloriously so) and refused to indulge the fantasy that he may still be alive, driving a big wedge in her relationship with Sabine.
Until Ahsoka finds that Morgan seems to expect Thrawn to be alive… Which might mean Ezra is alive too… Just maybe.
We meet Sabine as she lands on Lothal. She isn't reckless, wasting time away in a tower like in the show. She's well dressed if rumpled and obviously drained. The moment she steps onto the space port, she's surrounded by local guards. The guy who chases her in the show is instead in full uniform waiting for her, and clearly distressed.
Did she forget what today was? That the governor asked her to attend the celebrations? She was meant to be here already, the event has even started.
Sabine brushes him off. She had no plan to come at all. She's been busy and never even opened the message requesting her presence. She's back from Coruscant, talking to the only scientist who seems to specialise in purgill, and does he have any idea how tedious it is to get useful fact out of someone who never steps out of academia? She's going home, thanks.
She gets upset when the "war hero" title is used to try and persuade her. She's trying to do war hero stuff by rescuing Ezra, thank you. Speeches and hand waving aren't for her, never were. Maybe the dialogue can hint that she used to play along, but has grown increasingly desperate in her search instead of the faff of her mostly ceremonial position.
But the guy drops a hint that convinces Sabine to get on the back of his speeder after all : her old "jedi friend" is there for the celebration. Ahsoka, who she hasn't heard from in ages!
Ahsoka would have trained Sabine for a while for saber, but they've since split and heir friendship frayed over the Ezra Lives situation. NOT because of padawan BS.
Ahsoka could also perceive Sabine's dedication to find Ezra as something worse with every year that passes. To her, it'd go from friendship to attachment, of the overly strong type. And even if Sabine isn't a Jedi, the way Anakin was, it doesn't mean that this attachment wouldn't bring some darkness.
Heck, Ahsoka could sort of wash her hands off Sabine by blaming the darkness brought by her Ezra fixation. Like this isn't her fault, no sir, it's the way Sabine is so consumed that she won't listen to reason.
Anyway, they're both here now, and though the "how have you been" is a tip toeing on eggshells exercise, Ahsoka eats some humble pie and admits she needs Sabine's help for something important.
She has tracked an artifact to a ruin, and although it's ancient, it clearly has a deep stratum. It's not just one culture that can be observed in it, but several stacked on top of each other. And one of the most recent traces of alteration are Mandalorian.
Ahsoka wouldn't solve that JFO puzzle on her own. She'd bring Sabine for her unique Mando insight. But trust would be an issue, so she'd remain super vague about what they're looking for and completely tight lip about why. Ahsoka doesn't want to kindle hopes about Ezra in Sabine of all people.
From Sabine's pov, she's doing Ahsoka a favour, and Hera asked her to please help as she's invested in this mcguffin hunt too. Sabine, by coming along, is doing that very adult thing of putting up with a shitty situation to accomodate people (the total opposite of her highway chase scene).
But even as Sabine finds the map and frees it from the old compartment it's in, they are attacked by the droids. A good old epic fight ensues, where Sabine is shown to be rusty with her saber, and rusty in general with droids, but also Ahsoka sucks at anticipating Sabine's actions, and keeps throwing orders that don't get obeyed (or can't realistically be obeyed).
In the past few years Sabine's been spending more time investigating, talking to people and reading books and buying intel, than fighting.
Not knowing what the map is for, she loses it. Does Shin come in then and wound her? Forcing Ahsoka to flee with her on the brink of death? I think it would be nice if the only reason Sabine lives is because Ahsoka was there to use a constant flow of Force healing. Not fixing her but keeping her alive as Huyang flies them away.
Because, you know, it's getting real tiresome to see people survive lightsabers to the centre of mass.
Then Sabine wakes up, she's sorry she lost the antique Ahsoka was looking for… But Hera calls in as a holo, upset with Ahsoka… And Sabine would slowly realise why. The thing she lost, nearly died over unknowingly, was a map! A map to Thrawn, and so to Ezra.
Nobody needs to be incompetent about that map thing, either, because it would be a very classic puzzle that Ahsoka could have solved. It's not old or mysterious, it was hidden in the old temple. In the show she never sees the map, and it needs to be inserted in the henge to make sense any way. Here Ahsoka didn't need Sabine's help to solve the mcguffin, but to get it. And she got it and lost it at the same time.
And now Sabine realises just WHAT it was. To Ahsoka it's a trail to Thrawn, or a clue in Morgan's plans. To Hera it's weeks of political favour wasted and hope for Thrawn and Ezra gone. Hera can't justify more spending on this without proof Morgan is up to no good.
Meanwhile Sabine sees the map as proof she's always been right. That Ezra is alive, and that Ahsoka used her and lied and kept her in the dark. Sabine would argue she'd never have engaged that rogue padawan if she knew what she was risking with the map. Ahsoka could argue back she only needed to follow her orders.
Huyang is the one who settles things between them by asking how exactly they think this argument is helping the situation? He could be the one to insist they have to stay and work together to get the map, when both Ahsoka and Sabine want nothing more than to split again.
Personality-wise Ahsoka can team work, but she needs to lead. She's used to being the most OP in the room, and grew up giving order to mostly unquestioning soldiers. Sabine has a different skillset, is pig headed, and won't take orders from Ahsoka, especially not now that she feels like she was used.
Hera and Huyang could both come in then to soothe things, and Hera would suggest they visit the other trail she's unearthed (dockyards) while the villains actively get their plan on the tracks.
At the dockyards, Hera would understand that people worked for the Empire because they didn't have a choice, and wouldn't expect people to 'get rid' of imperials after the fall of the empire. It's not exactly how that stuff happens in real life, right? It would also be interesting if Chopper FINALLY came to some use…
So I suggest that the smuggling was done by droids, and the main human mind behind this operation was the one maintening the droid fleet. Altering their codes and priorities. We could have Chop somehow help figure it out. He could also be the one who PWA PWAs at the very end that they shouldn't look so disappointed, since he managed to slap a tracker under the chest plate of that one droid he highjacked that fled on the ship.
They have their lead to that planet.
Now's a good time for Ahsoka to be able to report about Shin and Baylan's sabers instead, maybe spotting them at that place, whatever. They have no clear character or motivation and for all I care we could keep visuals of their sabers from early on when freeing Morgan.
But here's the cinch about Huyang :
He's completely out of place with Ahsoka. She doesn't have a padawan. Doesn't want one. Sabine isn't a real one and has no desire to even try to be. And any good droid could do Huyang's job, without her moaning about Jedi protocol so much.
So why does she keep him?
Huyang should be with Luke Skywalker. Wouldn't it be a little dark and sweet if it's revealed that Ahsoka has been planning to bring him over to Luke's budding school but hasn't because… (and let's forget all shit with them in Mando) well, because she doesn't believe in a New Order. She saw too many younglings killed or turned, and she doesn't trust Luke with rebuilding the Order. Doesn't really want him too.
Yet at the same time she misses it. Misses the protocols she broke with Anakin, and the life she had there as a padawan. Huyang feeds into this nostalgia. Sometimes he sounds like a master--but one she doesn't need to listen to.
She keeps pushing the time to bring him to Luke over and over.
But now Huyang could have his own motivation : Baylan has survived, and he's taken a padawan.
What was Baylan like? Why would he want to free Thrawn? Why team up with Morgan? Imo it'd be a lot more interesting if his saber was yellow or truly orange, and Shin's was blue or literally any colour but red. Make them apparently rogue Jedi and not weird darksiders larping as Taron Malicos and Merrin.
Maybe Huyang would try to push for them to be in touch. Maybe he'd want to approach Baylan himself. Because he wants to recreate the Order, right? And he's got an apprentice. And wouldn't it be a shame if they truly fell down a dark path?
So instead of Baylan being sentimental but actually not about Ahsoka staying alive, it could be Huyang who is ready to expend his kindness to even them, even after the interaction over the map. Afterall, Jedi aren't always shy about using violence to get what they want, and maybe Shin always arrives on the scene when her side is already in a fight. Maybe Huyang is on copium!
But Baylan could be seen as behaving one way, and Ahsoka could feel his vibes being rancid… VS. Huyang knowing him by reputation. Why not go on and fully rip Malicos, at this stage? You got his looks and his theories. You may as well also make Baylan a respected Jedi general. Someone Huyang remembers from his trips to make his first saber.
Now wouldn't it be neat if Chopper's tracker returns a system that Sabine recognises the name of? She was just talking to that scholar about Purgill after all, and he mentioned how this system was an important migration point, one poorly researched, because it's so remote, and at the fringes of Dathomir space, not a friendly locale.
Sadly I still don't understand WTF the map is. Why does Morgan need it? it seems ancient… And yet it points to Thrawn? HOW? Why does it go to a different henge style temple? Nothing makes sense in the show and we're meant to just accept it.
I propose something else.
The map is stored into a bog standard data storage puzzle thingy. Anyone who could handle a Japanese puzzle box could use it. But the map is just the tip of the iceberg. It's actually a nightsister spell underneath, and the entire goal is to hyper focus and pinpoint.
So Morgan 'feels Thrawn calling to her'. And yep, that's corny, but she does. And what she needed was that nightsister focus tool. She needs to wildly amplify the signal, and then use the map to pinpoint its origine totally.
She goes to that henge because it's a meditation space. It's within the Dathomir sphere of influence, but not Dathomir proper, which is why she hid the ring here. There's something about this world, the same quality that attracts the purgill, that really throws the Force into whack.
While it's good for Morgan, it'd be confusing and disturbing for any other Force user (how to nerf Ahsoka, Baylan and Shin).
Once she fully feels the location of Thrawn's call, the map zooms in and in and in. As she suspected (as she's prepared for), it's in another galaxy entirely.
Instead of having the badies split, Baylan would have to protect Morgan so she can remain in her trance as the droids help her refine the coordinates. Shin can go harry Sabine and split her and Ahsoka, who can't properly communicate due to the planet's interference.
When the women go to fight Morgan and co, perhaps Huyang would ask Ahsoka to convince Baylan to return to them. Maybe Huyang's interest in helping with Shin is also what keeps getting in the way of Sabine whenever she has an opportunity to strike to kill.
Anyway, please no fucking Anakin!!! We don't need more nostalgia bait. Stop!! Jedi canonically can't die from falls of any height so long as they've trained to cushion a fall. We see the trio take insane falls all of Clone Wars, and it's in High Republic now too. Ahsoka clipping off the world map from getting yeeted from a small cliff is sad and a pathetic excuse to show Anakin off.
Also would like to point out that with a tight script, all the events above are 2 or 3 episodes max.
What do you think? Opinions? Suggestions? It's a bit of a meta post so feel free to add on to it!
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itsuki-minamy · 3 years
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PROFILE: ISANA YASHIRO
Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia
Real name: Isana Yashiro
Terms of address: Shiro
[PROFILE]
Birthday: June 1, Gemini
Blood type: B
Age: 18 (At the beginning of the second season)
[APPEARANCE]
Physique: 1.69 cm in height. He is a boyish physique that looks slim and small.
Face, hair: He always has a nice smiling face.
Attire: School clothes that have fallen apart. Fold up the sleeves and wear the hem of his sneakers. (Phase 1)
Weismann's clothing is worn based on Shiro's size. (Second stage version.)
Personal effects: Japanese umbrella.
[HABITS, SKILLS]
· Go in and out when he goes anywhere. He is good at improving lies.
[IMPRESSION, OTHER NOTES]
· The image color is "white", "transparent".
· Image of "free person".
· At first glance, he seems like a lazy and mediocre child.
· It is nice to meet people, but there are places where there is no place.
· The power of the clan is accompanied by the soft silver light.
[POSITION, OBJECTIVES]
Originally a proud genius from Germany, he devoted himself to researching the Dresden Slate. At the time, he dreamed of the bright future of humanity with the power of the Dresden Slate, but he lost his sister, Claudia, in the Dresden airstrike, and fell to the bottom of disappointment. He turns into a certain kind of disgrace. After that, he lived an isolated life in heaven for almost 70 years, but he lost his memory from the seizure of power by the Seventh King, and his consciousness changed when he woke up again. Although it was a short time, the experience of living with Kuro Yatogami and Neko had a great influence.
[PERSONALITY, CONDUCT]
Although there are some parts that seem to be a bit neglected, after regaining Weismann's memory, he began to have doubts about the surface of the Slate and began to realize what was really important to him.
Regaining Weismann's memory, even if he wakes up as the "Silver King", his basic character remains almost unchanged. As usual, he is the type to laugh, even if the situation is serious. As you can see from the fact that he was a precocious genius and had few friends, he was originally unfit for "king". Although he's worthy when it comes time to call him out, he doesn't really think of grouping a lot of people together like Rey, and he's not good at it. However, he is prepared to act as their leader while forming close relationships with a very small number, Neko and Kuro. He seems open and positive to everyone, but in fact it may be that he is carefully selecting people to associate with.
For Shiro, the happiness that surrounds a human and a platform that can be protected is the most important. In that sense, he is quite different from Munakata and Kokujoji. Ichigen Miwa may be the closest thing.
He seems elusive and incomprehensible, but when it comes to his heart, he begins to move forward and prepare.
[FATE, ENDING]
To the Green Clan who want to empower all human beings by using the Slate, Shiro will deny the Slate that he ever dreamed of the happy future of humanity.
We concluded that instead of the supernatural power of a huge stone slab, he would choose a future that he would make with his friends around him, and confront Nagare, causing a change that would destroy people's little happiness.
[ABILITIES, TACTICS]
At the beginning of the story, he was a normal person, but when he woke up as the "King" at the end of the first term, he used his fluffy flying ability with an umbrella, a barrier, and a Neko-mediated mind-transmission ability. He is not good at direct attacks, but he has a wide range of applications and great power.
Mainly defense. Immortality.
Since he was a scholar when he was Weismann, he was not good at exercising.
[POWER]
A + (Superior in the "King" class, but does not participate in voluntary combat.)
[LIKES]
His favorite food is white rice.
It is said that the food that Kuro makes is very delicious, but he appreciates most things. Neither gourmet nor sensitive tongue. A relatively harsh taste.
[DISLIKE]
Nothing particularly. Those who speak loudly in meetings.
[HOBBIES]
He has always loved reading as an art culture since the Weismann days, but it is subtle to say that it is a hobby.
He likes to joke around and chat with others.
Researching science in general is a hobby, but it is inextricably linked to work. He didn't need distractions because he used to work as a hobby.
After meeting Kuro, eating rice became one of his hobbies.
[FASHION]
Perhaps because he was born before the war, his fashion sense is a little different from that of young today.
[BODY]
He was tall in the Weismann period, but Isana's body is small and delicate. Sometimes majesty doesn't look good.
[INTELLIGENCE]
Very high. Originally called "double headed genius" with his sister Claudia, a scientific genius. He has knowledge of science and technology in general. Furthermore, he is a mere scholar and possesses such a wealth of knowledge that he can pursue flexible subjects outside of his specialty. Furthermore, he is also good with tricks and deception that fools the opponent.
He also likes to play games and make jokes. He has an expert and generalist perspective. However, he rarely uses it for practical purposes.
[BELIEFS]
There was a panoramic view of all phenomena from Weismann's height. Mental in nature, he is a lonely person. He may have come from the first half of life when he had no other person to open his mind to except Claudia and Kokujoji because he had transcendent intelligence. Weismann entered the lonely life due to the loss of his sister, Claudia, but he was not completely abandoned in his life, such as following his only friend, Kokujoji, to Japan.
Since he became Isana Yashiro, his mindset has changed considerably after he formed ties with Kuro and Neko. It seems that the important thing among him is probably not the country or the ideal, but the important people within his reach.
[RELATIONSHIPS]
[EARLY YEARS]
He was called a double-headed genius with his sister, Claudia, since he was a child. He participated in the study of the Dresden Slate and met his longtime friend Kokujoji.
Due to his incomparable intelligence, he was a lonely entity, which he could not easily meet with others. From that moment on, he was cheerful and liked mischief.
[TIMELINE]
· 1922, Adolf K. Weismann is born.
· 1943, Weismann participates in the investigation of the Dresden Slate. He advances in the analysis of the Slate.
· 1944, Weismann meets Kokujoji.
· 1945, February, Dresden airstrike, Weismann awakens as the "Silver King".
· 1945, April, Kokujoji brings the Slate to Japan, Weismann and Kokujoji say goodbye.
· 1947, Weismann visits Himmelreich.
· 2012, December, the “Colorless King” took over Weismann's body, and fell on Gakuenjima with the boy's body and became Isana Yashiro.
[ATTITUDE AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS]
[TERMS OF THE ADDRESS FOR HIMSELF]
The first person is "Boku", and the second person is "Kimi" or "Anata".
[TOWARDS KOKUJOJI DAIKAKU]
He calls him "Lieutenant".
In the Weismann era, it was almost a farewell decision, but once he was awakened by the "King" as Isana Yashiro, he was able to face another stance. He has a complicated affection for him that he cannot describe in one word.
[TOWARDS YATOGAMI KURO]
He calls him "Kuro", "Kimi".
He is more important than a servant, and he believes that he is more like a family. The part that depends on him is great.
[TOWARDS NEKO]
He calls her "Neko" or "Kimi".
Like Kuro, she is more of a friend and family than a subject. There is no romantic feeling so far.
[TOWARDS HISUI NAGARE]
He calls him "Nagare", and "Kimi".
A young man who tries to realize his dream of changing the world with the power of the Slate, which he used to see. He thought that he could make everyone happy with the great power of the Slate, but he only saw others as "humanity" and did not see the little happiness of each person. It is the responsibility of those who have started it all, to prevent Nagare from trying to cause chaos in the world by releasing the Slate.
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spectrumed · 3 years
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5. sleep
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It hardly gets dark in the Swedish summers. Between dusk to dawn, you’ve got about an hour to fall asleep before the sun rises again. If you struggle to fall asleep that fast, you can invest in some good window blinds. Or you can do as I do and place one big pillow over your face. Then the birds start singing around three o’clock in the morning. You can practically hear the sounds of Edvard Grieg’s Morning Mood playing at around four o’clock in the morning. Around five o’clock in the morning, it is as bright as midday. Did you have a good time sleeping? Or did you pace around in a circle having one hell of a panic attack? I thought you took some of those sleeping pills you got prescribed, they should have helped you fall asleep… wait, you did take them? They didn’t work? Oh, they did work, you just felt your body falling asleep while your mind stayed awake? That sounds terrible, real terrible. Very well. It’s morning now. Want some coffee?
You could form a religion out of sleeping. Let’s have sermons where we fill a whole auditorium full of beds and have our congregates take a big collective nap. Sleep for the sleep god! Pillows for the pillow throne! Sleep is a billion-dollar industry, there’s a plethora of handy products you can buy that promise to send you on a luxury liner to dreamland. Pills, mattresses, dreamcatchers, whatever your snoozy heart desires. You can go to a proper doctor and they might help you, or you can settle for the placebo effect and go to some fraudulent quack, instead. He might make you swallow some pills that contain arsenic, but hey, arsenic is a naturally occurring element. It can’t be all that bad for you if it is natural. And you do want to sleep, don’t you? If you take this pill in your mouth and swallow it with a glass of water, I promise you, you will sleep for a very long time.
The esteemed former president of the United States of America, Donald Trump, claims that he only needs four to five hours of sleep every night. While Mr. Trump is well-known to be a paragon of honesty, I do doubt he’s telling the truth. No, I actually do believe him when says that he only gets about four or five hours of sleep each night, I just don’t believe him when he says that is all he needs. He doesn’t look very well-rested, does he? And Margaret Thatcher, the similarly adored former prime minister of the United Kingdom, claimed that she also only needed about four hours of sleep every night. Yes, while researching the sleeping habits of famous monsters, I’ve come to the conclusion that amongst powerful individuals, not getting enough sleep has become a proper badge of honour. The belief is that if you don’t get enough sleep, that must be because you are living such a vibrantly successful life, and are so career-driven, that you simply haven’t got enough time to sleep for the full eight hours. People who sleep for more than four hours are lazy liberals. Go-getters like Trump has got to be out there, working, making decisions, raping women, and showing daddy what a good boy he is. Sleep is for the weak. But maybe I am weak. I sure like sleeping.
It’s the cultural hangover our society has had since the 80’s. Back when the yuppies wearing jackets with obscenely padded shoulders would happily chuck down eight to ten espressos in one go while A Flock of Seagulls was playing on the radio encouraging everyone to go running. And to be fair to them, with the constant fear of the doomsday clock hitting midnight, they really had no reason to think that they’d survive the decade. The new millennia, it seemed, would have no cities, no nature, no humans, only radiated mutants scouring the rubble that remains of civilization for cans of preserved something edible. Self-destructive behaviour was in. It was fashionable. Doubt people got enough sleep back then, between snorting coke and wondering if the next pandemic that hits the night clubs would start killing as many straight folks as gay folks. Well, here we are in the new 20’s, and we’ve got a pandemic that does appear to kill people regardless of sexual orientation. Sure, the looming threat of nuclear obliteration has been lessened dramatically, but we’ve largely come to exchange that anxiety for the fear of total environmental collapse, instead. No wonder 80’s nostalgia is a big thing right now. History doesn't repeat itself, but It often rhymes, said Mark Twain (supposedly.) I wonder how much coke Mark Twain would snort if he lived in the 80’s.
I notice a palpable difference in my mood and mental state when I’ve been getting good amounts of sleep. Lack of sleep results in lack of clear thinking. Caffeine, though it is something I am chronically addicted to, does not help fix a sleep-deprived mind. There are no tricks of revolutionary “life hacks” one can employ to get out of sleeping. To recover from depression, one has to sleep. Sleep often and sleep well. I cannot understate the importance of being well-rested. You cannot process information if you are tired. I am reminded of my teenage years seeing friends of mine who’d stay up all night, then come into school shuffling like agonised zombies. They got so frustrated when the teachers reprimanded them for snoozing in class. Well, dummies, it is your fault for drinking several dozen cans of Red Bull every day! I know that sleep does not always come easy. I know the terror of insomnia. But, c’mon! At some point, you’ve got to realise that sleep is essential. Maybe most of your problems stem from the fact that you refuse to get enough of it? Here’s where the tough love comes in. If you wanna get better, kiddo, then listen to me. It’s bedtime. Yes, I know you’d rather stay up late playing monopoly with your friends, but I’m confiscating your dice and I’ll only give it back to you when you’ve gotten some good sleep. Okay? You hear me, missy? You listen to your daddy now, and go to bed. No ifs or buts about it, princess, I’ve made myself clear. I know what is best for you, and you know that I am right. I’m your daddy.
But what if I can’t seem to fall asleep? Normally, it takes a long time for me to fall asleep. It is not uncommon for me to stay awake for two hours, maybe more, before I finally begin to sleep. Fearing that I won’t fall asleep gives me anxiety. That anxiety keeps me awake. I turn my body. I try lying on my side. First my left side, then my right side. I then try to lie on my back. I’ve got a song stuck playing in my head. Not even the whole song, just a ten-second segment of it. It’s playing over and over. I’m worried about the future, will I ever find security, will I ever find a wife, will I get to grow old? I worry about death. I keep hearing the music playing, it’s grating. I rearrange the pillows, in hopes that will make me feel more comfortable. But no, I keep tossing and turning like a fish caught on land. I’m getting frustrated. If only I could shut off my brain. I’m constantly thinking. I turn to my side again, but now I notice I’ve moved arounds so much that now the bed has shifted away from its position next to the wall. There’s now a gap between the bed and the wall. I almost fall down that gap. I get up and I push the bed back against the wall. I lay down in bed. The song is still playing.
How am I ever going to become a successful businessman if I am wasting so many hours just trying to get to sleep? This is the time I should be spending on the phone, yelling at people and making inappropriate sexual comments to my female employees. That is what good executives do. I need to get my life in order. I need to exercise more. I should practice mindfulness. I should get a life coach, a personal trainer, a stylist, an accountant, an assistant, a trophy wife, and a mistress. I need people in my life to take care of me. It’s funny how rich people create the sort of environment around them where people will take care of all their needs, effectively infantilising them. These people don’t even get to decide how to dress themselves. They’ve got fancy apartments, but they don’t choose any of the furniture. They’ve got art on the walls that they don’t like, but the art looks expensive, and that is all that matters. They’ve got kids, but they don’t raise them. Their spouses are cheating on them, but in fairness, they are cheating on their spouses. They don’t really even know what their jobs entails, as they’ve gotten promoted so many times that they’ve ended up in a position that is totally outside their realm of expertise. But they’re so powerful that no-one is able to fire them over their pretty blatant incompetence. They’re successful. They’ve made it. But they still can’t sleep at night. They only manage to successfully fall asleep at night after swallowing a fistful of pills along with a swig of vodka.
It must be easy being a self-help guru. Well, what I mean to say is that all you really need is charisma, which is something you need to be born with. But you don’t need to do any actual studying, any real research, or any kind of soul-searching or deliberation. All you need is to state what is obvious. You go on stage in front of an anxious audience, mostly composed of middle-class salesmen and miscellaneous white collar ghosts. You smile, show off your eerily bright teeth, and they clap. You tell them to go take care of themselves, to eat more healthily, to take walks, or go swimming, and love their partners. You tell them to drink less, or maybe, if they feel like it, they could drink more. I am sure you could spin alcohol as a positive or a negative, depending on what crowd you’re talking to. Tell them to appreciate family. Tell them to appreciate others. Live, laugh, but most of all, love. Tell them to go clean their rooms. Tell them to remember that if they’re on an airplane that is about to crash land, they need to put their own oxygen mask on before they can help others put theirs on. If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Now, go to bed!
You know all this stuff. Me telling you that you should sleep more doesn’t really help you. You know that you should sleep more. It’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that. And it’s not like as if you’re too dumb to realise that it is better to drink in moderation, and that you should smoke less weed. There are many small little things you can do to improve your life, to stop being a terminally unemployed slacker. It’s like your grandpa who tells you stories about life after the war when you could walk into the biggest building in town, slam your fist against the table and demand to be given a job and a house and a wife and a couple of kids, and that was all you needed to do. He can’t comprehend the fact that society doesn’t work like that, any more. Most people my generation have given up hope of ever owning a home, at least if they happen to live in the vicinity of a larger city. It seems that, no matter where you live, the cost of homes has risen to an impenetrable degree. It seems just as likely that you will be able to afford your very own genetically-engineered pet dragon before you will get to be a house-owner. It’s the fault of those damn boomers, why bother changing your ways, when the boomers are still in charge? Others may accuse you of wallowing in your own depression, but you are perfectly aware that this is exactly what you are doing. You are self-aware. But self-awareness on its own is not enough to motivate anyone. You still can’t see the point in doing anything constructive with your life. Life just feels so aimless. It’s easier to sit, smoke weed, and watch cartoons.
Pop psychology is problematic. To say the least. Take all those self-help gurus suffering from their messiah complexes and put them through the shredder. Don’t buy books thinking that they’ll offer you the kind of treatment you would get from an actual psychiatrist. I know that, depending on where you are in the world, treatment can get very expensive, but you’re not going to get better reading the book of some self-aggrandising narcissist’s collection of wishy-washy platitudes. Dr. Phil has done great evil pretending to be a therapist on the TV, and Jordan Peterson (despite having once been an esteemed scholar) has turned a generation of young internet-savvy zoomers into proto-fascists obsessed with the monogamy of lobsters. Pop psychology has become a guise for cult leaders to reap new followers. Getting treatment should not feel like joining a new religious movement. Maybe I’m just one of those annoying atheists, but I dare say, psychiatry works at its best when it's secular. You should not look at your psychiatrist as a prophet speaking to God. They’re just a doctor, and you need treatment.
I do not aspire to create a self-help blog. I do not promise that reading this blog will help you in any way. I would be overjoyed if someone came up to me and told me that I had inspired them to seek help. You may tell me that reading my words have made you feel less alone, knowing that others have gone through all these things that you are going through. When I felt at my worst, I remember reading the memoirs of people I admired who had similarly struggled in their lives, and I felt less alone. But none of those books pretended to exist principally to help others. Those books did help me, through the candid descriptions of struggles that I thought I was alone in experiencing. Knowing that some people had pulled through, managed to find a light at the end of the tunnel, it made me think I could one day be like them. The books didn’t seek to fix me, but they offered me a perspective that came to be very valuable later on, when I started going to therapy, and when I later started taking medication. Sometimes that is all you need. Not someone standing over you and telling you to go to bed, or to clean your room, or to stop drinking. You know all that, already. What you really need is the reassurance that things can indeed get better. Sleep will come.
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CHAPTER 2
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Bakugou used to like the silence. It was better than the late night fights his parents had and the awkward dinners the next day, pretending everything was alright. After a while they stopped yelling and that’s when he realized that silence isn’t as wonderful as he thought. At least he knew that they cared for each other enough to scream. His mother still yells at him but only in curses and his father doesn’t even care enough to say something. Bakugou only knows the yelling, which is exhausting, and the silence, which makes him question everything. They’re both a curse. Midoriya Inko was yet the worst to happen for she was both. The hysterical cries and the suffocating silence that followed. She didn’t even insult him, yet her words are burned into his bones. The ringing in his ears as he stood in front of a door, not a single sound was audible in the corridor and Inko didn’t even say a word whenever she saw him. His house that used to be so loud and filled with voices, was a quiet hell filled with disgusted looks. This was by far the worst day of his young life but he has no right to complain for it was his fault. Even the day this green monster took over his body wasn’t as frightening as this one afternoon. He considered just giving in, letting this slime creature eat him alive and use his body - it was just a second until he saw the people screaming. They yelled at him but nothing came through and something clicked in him. If the whole world just yells at him, then he’ll do the same.
,,Hey, Taka-Chan.“
The boy blinks a few times in confusion and finally looks up from his phone, to meet the backside of a bus seat. It is Sero‘s voice that brought him back into the bus. His voice is quiet, trying not to disturb the others but somehow shrill.
,,Yeah?“
Bakugou doesn’t listen on purpose to their conversation, he just likes the sound of Y/N‘s voice better than the music he’s been listening to. It’s calm and soft, no matter what is happening. It irritates Bakugou whenever she’d talk to him in such a lovely tone for he doesn't know how to respond other than yelling. He noticed this on their first day. Y/N is always friendly and can talk to people but it’s never more than this. Her conversations are never more than smalltalk but no one ever notices that. He doesn’t know how she learned to distance herself without the others noticing it but it’s impressive. She has a way with words that even surprises him. Not only her words are impressive but also the way she fights and uses her quirk and that makes Bakugou furious. He has been training one-on-one combat and his quirk since he’s a child and yet he can’t move as quietly and fast as Y/N. Her movements are calculated, quick and hart. Sometimes he wonders if gravity even applies to her, for sometimes it looks like she’s flying while fighting. It’s not only Kendo or Judo but something more aggressive. He experienced her fighting style first hand a couple of days ago in their first exercise. He didn’t even stand a chance against her and she wasn’t struggling. She knew exactly where they were and how to take him down. “You are a terrible villain.“
He can still hear her voice in his head. She didn’t even mean it as a compliment, just a fact as if she has fought countless villains before him. The only time he actually fought a villain was last year and All Might had to save him, because he was so weak. First he failed fighting a villain and then he failed fighting a hero. Not even a real hero but some girl that pulls sticks out her body!
Stupid bones, he keeps thinking as they walk into USJ, eyes still glued to the back of her head. She might be a better fighter but she’s stupid and that gives Bakugou satisfaction. The fact that she barely passes exams and classes, struggling to keep up with the rest of the class. He’s better than her.
He’s smarter and stronger and faster and he’ll become the best hero Japan has ever seen and yet it is Y/N who has to snap him out of his stare as the villains appear. Bakugou is the strongest and most powerful, but the second this dark smoke came closer the fear took over his body and paralyzed him. Blocking every noise out, the same way that monster did it. He sees Aizawa yelling something towards Thirteen and his classmates talking, but his ears feel like they’re stuffed with cotton.
„Bakugou.“
He blinks a few times, realizing Y/N is standing in front of him grabbing his arm and pulling him away. Her voice is still calm, almost frightening and the look in her eyes reminds him of a doll. They’re still beautiful, he thinks to himself. Brown with a light grey edge as if the color is slowly fading away. Is it because of her quirk? He noticed a few days ago that her skin turns slightly grey whenever she uses it. The blond boy looks past her, trying to concentrate. Their classmates are running towards the exit, Thirteen is standing right behind them and Aizawa ran off toward the villains.
Think! You can’t run away, he thinks and keeps looking around. Following Aizawa would be the best decision. There are a few dozen villains and he could never take all of them. But Bakugou can. He’s strong enough to fight them. He’ll show them that he’s strong enough to fight them instead of running away.
„Bakugou!“ He hears Y/N call as he uses his explosions to jump towards the dark smoke, not noticing how she follows him with two spears in her hands. Bakugou won’t just stand there or run away. He’s better than Y/N or the rest of his classmates. He can win. He’ll beat every villain that entered USJ.
Bakugou lands on his feet, his ears ringing from the explosions and lungs filled with the smoke. An explosion of this magnitude, should have at least weakened them, but as the smoke slowly liftendes he realizes that he’s no longer with his class.
„You really are a madman.“ Bakugou turns around, his gauntlet lifted, to find Y/N standing behind him and once again he can’t prevent himself from admiring her. Her hair intact, weapons raised and a grin on her face that says she’s not afraid of anything. It makes him furious how good and put together she looks, while he can barely form a sentence in her presence. What is it about this girl that throws him off?
„What the fuck are you doing here?!“ he asks and lowers his hands, so he can look around. The boy noticed they’re in a building, similar to Ground Beta. The smoke villain must have teleported them into one of the buildings. He can still see the waterfall from the window, which means they’re still in USJ. The doors are closed but he can feel heavy footsteps coming closer.
„Not gonna let you have all the fun alone,“ she grins, while pulling out another bone from her hip. The skin on her thigh turns into a darker shade of grey and red veins appear around the spot, where a femur arises. The bone slowly starts forming into something that reminds him of a bō. She uses them the most he notices.
„Someone is coming,“ Bakugou murmurs quietly as the steps get closer. His eyes keep staring at the door on the other side of the room but he notices how Y/N swings the bō once and comes a step closer.
„You wanna run?“ she asks and he doesn’t have to look at her, to know she’s smirking. Knowing they’re in this together gives them no doubt they could beat them in an instant. Running away isn’t an option. It never will be.
„I’m going to show you how a pro fights,“ he says as the door opens and three men storm inside, surrounding them. Bakugou and Y/N stand close to each other, their shoulders almost touching. This is no competition and so they know the other has one‘s back.
„I’ll get the lanky one,“ she whispers to him and uses the fluster of his explosions to attack the man in front of her. She can feel the bones in his long limbs and the longer he stretches them, the easier it is to break them. With a quick jump she pinned him to the ground and broke the bones in his limbs, ignoring his screams.
It’s the first time that the two of them fight together and it’s striking how good they work together. Bakugou is loud, creates chaos with his attacks and Y/N takes this for her sneak attacks. The villains can barely keep track of her, forgetting about Bakugou until they look right into his palm. They’re the two strongest students and they’re fighting style balances each other out. Back on back with calculated moves and wicked smiles on their faces. Only a fool would dare to attack. They’re feeding each other with bloodlust adrenaline.
„You know, you really didn’t have to throw him out the window.“ Y/N leans out of the broken window and looks down at the villain, who’s trying to get up but one quick hand move and the remains of an old thorax rise from the earth to chain him down again.
„These weaklings fight like some wannabe villains. Where are the real ones,“ he murmurs angrily and looks around if more people might appear, ignoring her statement.
„Bakugou.“ The blond boy finally turns around as he notices the change in her voice. It’s calm and monotonous, in a way that freaks him out. Y/N is still standing at the broken window staring at something. He lets out a little huff and walks towards her, until he can see it too.
Exactly where the villains appeared. The weird man with the hands is standing next to some beasts and there, on the ground, is Aizawa. His blood soaked body is held down by the beast.
„We have to help him!“ Y/N looks at him and for a second he can see the fear in her eyes before they turn into cold stones again. Bakugou can’t deny that he’s also worried about their teacher but he read enough articles about him, to know that Eraserhead is strong.
„We have to destroy that smoky basdart first, so they can’t escape. They have to pay for this.“
„Thirteen and the others can take care of him! We have to fight this beast! If he did this to Aizawa, do you really think our classmates can help him!? They came here for All Might!“ Y/N knows that she should have more faith in her friends and teachers, but faith never brought her anything.
„Shut up!“ Bakugou has a short temper and it’s even shorter when she’s around, but he can’t deny that she’s right. In all of their rankings, were they on the top so it would be logical to fight the smoke villain and the monster. Yet the idea of splitting up doesn’t sit right with him. Stop that! He scolds himself quickly. He works alone best and Y/N isn’t a child that needs protection.
„I’ll take care of the basdart and you take the beast.“ He finally decides with a calm voice and takes off his gauntlet, so he can move freely. Y/N nods agreeing, whereupon he grabs her by the waist and uses his quirk to blast them out of the window. The closer they get, the worse it looks. Aizawa is lying in a pool of blood, probably his own he thinks, and it doesn’t look like someone‘s gonna rush to help him. He can’t blame them though and then he realizes that Y/N, just like himself, is probably a little bit reckless and even crazy. The thought of her being just as insane makes his lips twitch upwards.
„I’ll let go now,“ he says and can feel how Y/N nods, slowly letting go of him and adjusting her hands.
One good shot at the man with the hands could give her an advantage, to take him down. There are certainly bones buried deep down and she could pin him down. The beast doesn’t have a skull but Y/N is sure she can find something to crush.
Y/N tries to concentrate and aim at the villain but the only thing she can think about is Bakugou and his arm around her. The fact that he holds her so close and tight she can barely move makes her panic like some wild animal. He grabbed her so quickly and close to him, it made her head spin for a moment until she remembered who he is. Yet she wants to rip his arm away and get as much distance between her and his body as possible.
„You better kill that bastard,“ he says and let’s go of her, but Y/N can still feel his breath on her shoulder and it makes her nauseous. The warmth spreading like venom in her body, making it itch and burn.
Concentrate! She scolds herself and points with her hand towards the man, but her poorly improvised bō shuriken misses him by a centimeter and lands on the floor.
Y/N lands on the ground with a clumsy roll and takes a deep breath. Her head finally cleared up. She feels the remains beneath the ground and pulls them towards her. The spine of a cow and a flew ribs, some still wrapped in rotten flesh, are still intact. A flew random teeth and…Y/N looks up in disbelief but as her eyes fall on the man she knows her quirk isn’t wrong. It never is. At least 10 hands right in front of her, wrapped around his body. The girl hesitates and looks around. She spots Tsu, Mineta and two villains on the boat, too far away to notice something, but besides them it’s only her and Aizawa, who doesn’t look like he’s conscious. Y/N rises the spine and stands up, with the bone kurasi fundo in her hand. The rotting teeth lay next to her, waiting to be used as bullets, but they probably won’t be any help considering the fact they came to USJ to kill All Might.
„Looks like you got some help, Eraserhead,“ says the man with a smoky voice, as he comes closer towards Y/N.
previous chapter • index • next chapter
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you can read it on ao3 here: comfortable silence 💛🤎
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Luna Trim Review TRIAL supply, aspect Effects, Scam, will it Work?
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Benefits of victimization Roman deity Trim
It helps to burn away the fat. It contains one hundred organic ingredients.It curbs hunger cravings. It boosts the metabolism. It causes you to slim during a number of months.Itprovides you sufficient quantity of energy to use for the physical activities.It helps in increasing your motivation level. You can get the body of your dreams. It blocks the assembly of fat
How will Roman deity Trim Work?
Luna Trim Supplement is useful in dominant the steroid alcohol level in your blood. High level of steroid alcohol ends up in high probabilities of heart attacks, heart diseases, polygenic disorder etc. once you begin victimizationthis easy and natural supplement, there's less probabilities of obtainingthese diseases. it's helpful for those that need to manage their appetency. This product can work cent % if you would like to manage your appetencyand forestall yourself from excessive uptake. during this manner, day by day, you'd notice improvement within the form of your body. Moreover, it'llcause you to energetic and very active all the time.
Are Roman deity Trim Ingredients Safe
You will be terribly excited to grasp regarding the key and also thesorcerous formula of this supplement. Well, you may be stunned to graspthat it contains all the natural ingredients in it and even while not creatingthe employment of any dangerous additive chemical, this product is sweetto create you slim even instantly. The supplement will really cause you toslim and it's the power to interrupt and to get rid of the fats from your body. This supplement conjointly has the power to manage the glucose and it's conjointly smart to scale back your appetency. Besides that, it's smartto take care of the energy of your body. In easy words, Roman deity Trimis really a natural and active formula for the aim of weight loss.
Is There Any Side-Effects Of Roman deity Trim
Luna Trim Product contains safe, natural and active ingredients. Also, considering regarding your health, the whole vary of ingredients is checked below the direction of care consultants. Thus, they make sure that it doesn’t contain harmful chemical and fillers that have an effect on your overall well-being. Therefore, this product is totally safe to thin and extremelycounseled by a lot of doctors and care consultants.
Luna Trim Results
In order to urge largest results, you must follow some steps that ar given here. Consume additional recent fruits and vegetables. Don’t consume processed food. Avoid smoking. Eat supermolecule wealthy diet. Things To Be keep in mind Keep this product during a cool and dry place. It isn't meant to treat any health malady. Return this product if the packaging is broken. Avoid overdosing of this product. This product mustn't be utilized by the minors. Use this product as per the directions solely
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Where to shop for Roman deity Trim
If you would like to shop for Roman deity Trim Formula then you have gotto travel the official website of the corporate. you may need to purchasethe merchandise from the net solely as this excellent product isn't out there within the retail stores. you only need to open the homepage of the company’s official website the terms and conditions properly before inserting the order. The consumers ar required to put the order properly by providing all the right data. you'll create the payment through debit card/credit card/net banking etc. the merchandise are delivered to you as shortly as attainable once the date of inserting the order.
Luna Trim Reviews – Is it a Scam or Legit?
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Working of Roman deity Trim:
Luna Trim lessens your further weight in pure natural manner. It works naturally. Roman deity Trim deals with tea leaf Extract ingredient to creatingyou weighted less. This supplement can reduce your further weight amongterribly 1st week of its use. it'll burn your calories. It burns your calories in natural manner. It burns your further fats in your body. It burns your fat cells in natural manner. In different words, your body won't manufacture fat in your body once more. tea leaf is associate degree seasoner plant so you'llperceive that supplement works for you naturally. Luna Trim deals with alkaloid to maintaining your weight. once your inner system is improved then you wish to take care of your weight in natural manner. In different clear words, you wish to form your body. This supplement can keep you in form. Your fat belly are formed. it'll offer you energy. Supplement conjointly keeps you energetic throughout the day. It causes you to robust. Luna Trim deals with Hydroxycitric Acid (HCA) to rising your systems adoreorganic process and appetency. I even have already aforementioned that Roman deity Trim cures you for good and entirely. It loses your weight permanently. many of us ar thought that significant weight is caused by downside of system this supplement cures your downside of digesting. Supplement conjointly improves your appetency system.
Do different necessary steps:
You cannot lose your further weight till you struggle. If you sit on your couch well then perhaps this weight loss supplement cannot cause you to slim and good. keep in mind that Roman deity Trim is pure natural weight loss supplement. you have got to adopt different necessary steps till you lose your weight.
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Exercise: it's not wrong if I say that this supplement is employed along with your exercise routine. Exercise is that the most endorse factor that it maintains your weight up to speed. Take this supplement {with your|together along with your|along with your} daily routine and do exercise with your routine. once you do these steps you're created loss weighted speedily. therefore create your routine to try and do exercise at morning. Eating: it's logical that such a lot uptake causes you to fat. If you employ this weight loss supplement and eat such a lot then perhaps supplement cannot have an effect on you. you're not created loss weighted if you eat such a lot of eatables whereas your treatment as a result of it's pure natural supplement. You have to adopt these 2 steps essentially otherwise perhaps supplement cannot have an effect on you. you have got to adopt these 2 necessary steps whereas your treatment. If you may adopt these steps permanently then you'll maintain your weight permanently.
Ingredients in Roman deity Trim:
There ar pure naturally ingredients. and every one ingredients ar value-added once tested and tested. to boot actually Roman deity Trim doesn'tcontain any harmful compounds and binders or fillers. This supplement is being demanded within the markets owing to its pure natural ingredients.
Green Tea Extract:
It is seasoner plant extract natural ingredient. you recognize that severalfolks drink tea to take care of their weight. Same as that case this seasonernatural ingredient is employed during this supplement to creating you loss weighted. it's tested to enhance to minimize your weight. once you use this supplement then owing to inexperienced Tex Extract you lose your manypounds in natural manner.
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Caffeine:
Caffeine is that the most noted natural ingredient. There ar several weight loss supplements in markets that claim with alkaloid however those all claim false. Roman deity Trim adds plethoric quantity of alkaloid to creating you slim and good. once supplement keeps you in form then ill-natured you and your partner can happy. Your partner are drawn to you as you have got slim and good waist.
Hydroxycitric Acid:
It is shortly known as HCA. HCA is employed to rising your organic processand appetency system. it's conjointly medically verified natural ingredient. it's utilized in medicines. If you're fighting organic process and appetencysystem then you're provided medicines that alter HCA. however actually no any supplement will contain quantity of HCA with tested and tested as Roman deity Trim contains HCA.
Advantages of Roman deity Trim:
You can expect these blessings once victimization this weight loss supplement. And once victimization this supplement you say that actuallythis supplement has given you a lot smart also as positive results. it'll reduce your many pounds weight in natural manner.. it'll burn your further calories in natural manner. it'll burn your fat cells in natural manner. it'll cause you to loss weighted permanently or for good.it'll keep energetic, healthy and formed.Side effects
There are not any any aspect effects of this supplement. This natural supplement is safe to use. you're not place in any hurt or the other furtherissue. This supplement has associate degree aim to creating you loss weighted. It lessens your weight in natural manner.
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