#bc I still can see some of my points and the other posts points in season 1

[dykefaggotry]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

#mclennon #this is long but it had to be to expand on every reference i made in that post FJADJFASDF

[ellaphnt]

Saw ur Toshiro post, and I absolutely agree that Toshiro's outburst will be a stepping stone for both um an Laios to grow and that the buildup was because Shuro didn't want to ruin situation he was still trying to figure out. But the funniest thing is, afaik, Laios and Falin are *also Foreigners* for quite far away. Their country is simply Scandinavian/northern Europe themed. I don't think we see any long-lived races in their flash backs (baring the dead man buying a ring of elves?). And both Falin and Laois definitly are the equivalent of nobility/Local chiefs kids. But instead of being send out with all their assistants and guards, Laios ran away and suffered in the army and then on his own in a caravan , and Falin was send to a Magial School full of other races and people. They both had time to 'adjust' to the wider world (and still carry a bit of home-grown uh...prejudice (mountain people)). So when they met Shuro both of them were well used to meeting people not from their Country. Toshiro not being either from the tiny Island or the nearby lands simply didn't mesh with how they had adapted to behave. Plus, obviously, Laios textual Autism. But I feel like Laios could totally have figured it out if he had met people from Shuros island before who would have told him, he does after all know how to behave around Dwarves and such, who also have quite diffrent culturual norms. Sorry for the ramble xD Good Toshiro post!

Hi hi! I’m really glad you’re adding onto my silly brain thoughts hehe - I’m super happy to hear yours, especially since they make me think more! Warning this is going to be long, talking about dungeon meshi is just a lot of fun.

When I said foreigner, I should have clarified that that I meant he’s a stranger to the CULTURE. A good chunk of the people in the island are not native to it! But culturally, they have the social background to fit in. They didn’t all come from the same place, yes, but they grew up in European-esque cultures and interacted to some extent with other races. Even Kabru and Rin are not foreign to this type of culture because they grew up with Western/European socialization.

Gonna elaborate bc I think it’s fascinating: From what we know about the Eastern islands, the worldview is very very different. In the Adventurer’s Bible where Kabru talks to Hien, they talk about how the East defines “humans” as “tallmen”, and oni/ogres were the only “other”. In the post-canon snippet where Toshiro talks to Falin, he even refers to Eastern thinking as “backward” due to the lack of long-lived races. Because of his delayed exposure to other races, and because the worldview is far more different than the one the Toudens experienced, that’s where I make the statement that he had more to adjust to.

I’ll also note, the fact that the Toudens are subjectively more adjusted to seeing and accommodating other races makes Laios’ statement that Toshiro “had an odd appearance” an even more bizarre thing to say. And although we can assume Toshiro also has his biases, we don’t see them highlighted like other characters have had (to my knowledge). So it makes it seem like he was more thoughtful/careful towards other races from the get-go, despite his lack of knowledge. His main issues were always with other tallmen, just like Laios.

It’s good to point out that the Toudens are outcasts in their own right. Both of them went through a really hard time, and it changed them. Laios’ cycle of failures and giving up and being bullied are especially important to characterizing his relationship with his sister and his disinterest in humanity and lack of close friends. Falin at least had Marcille. Both Laios and Toshiro have reasons they’re inexperienced in friendship, but one of them stated it in the story and the other didn’t. There’s more misconception about Toshiro’s character than Laios’. So my post was to talk about that one a bit.

ALSO OOO I COMPLETELY FORGOT but I WAS going to mention how both the Toudens and Toshiro came from families of influence! Thank you for bringing it up! Laios and Toshiro diverge from that upbringing, while making Toshiro and Falin a little more similar. This goes into another whole thing where Laios and Toshiro parallel (and foils?) each other but that’s too long of a discussion. Just as long is how this divergence distinguishes the Touden siblings (too many people have said their only difference is gender..)

Lastly, yes, Laios does need more exposure to Eastern people and Eastern culture to get a grasp on it. He really wants to learn! It’s just that Shuro isn’t his encyclopedia and until he gets that chance, he will make ignorant takes. I can think of two more that will occur in the main narrative alone. (but like Toshiro said, Laios has no malicious intent, that’s what makes it all the more complicated)

While there’s good conversation to be had about the fight from a ND vs NT POV, I’ve seen SO much discussion about Toshiro possibly being read as autistic too, and neurodivergent individuals who can relate to his experience. Often it comes as an intersection between both being autistic and being a poc. I think it brings even more nuance to the narrative. Plus I’m just glad there’s people who can relate to him. He’s meant to be relatable! His problem with Laios is just as much a character flaw as it is human.

Hope this post was a thoughtful response to yours, I tried to tackle everything you mentioned! Thank you sm for the ask :D

Edit: for the sake of context, here’s the og post that’s being referred to!

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #askella #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #laios touden #touden siblings #character study

[beartitled]

Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses

I can, but the problem is

That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom

Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓

More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl

(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)

! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty

Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)

Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired

I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff

But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored

It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based

(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)

But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different

Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments

Remember this art?

cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough

Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity

Humans are just assholes by nature really/j

So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much

I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive

(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)

Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it

It happens

But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes

And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience

The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms

Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything

Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”

The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention

there is a audience to please alright

But this thing comes with a pressure tho

and it shows

so let me illustrate

This bookcase

Is my shame

Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best

💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥

Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects

the not so normal part is

to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it

my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah

Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm

But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse

Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this

But I’m not improving

And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking

I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator

Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement

But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…

Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it

It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”

I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom

I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix

Like STP+tnmn kind of deal

But for now – I need a break

At least for a little bit

#bear answers #vent post #nothing serious just a bunch not so positive thoughts #tnmn #that’s not my neighbor #tnmn fandom #thoughts #fandom thoughts #apologies for possible mistakes/typos

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

#and yes i understand! that agab language can in some circumstances be helpful in inclusive language and in the medical world but ultimately #is misgendering and unnecessary it should be up to the person to disclose their agab not an expectation of them to give up freely #I think that inclusive language shouldnt be misgendering in nature and agab as far as i can tell should only be used in select discussions #and certainly not as a way to frame a nonbinary writer as a “biological woman” but in a way where the queer community will nod along and sa #“oh they have a point” because you used the word AFAB instead #honestly afab is the term i see used most frequently and most harmfully towards other nonbinary people who don't identify w the label #to exclude trans women and amab nonbinary people #to frame nonbinary people as “still women” because of their assigned gender at birth #also i understand its not as simple as “not using” these terms bc they still serve a purpose and are important #but as they leave the queer community and as they enter the hands of cis queer people they become weapons #i wish i could like manifest my thoughts super clearly but i really cant bc its a difficult situation #its just another example of misogyny and bio-essentialism creeping into the queer community #because the patriarchy impacts all things including our discussions of trans oppression and gender we need to stop viewing it #as a strict binary of male female and oh sometimes we'll mention nonbinary people but we're all afab and amabs at the end of the day <3 #like flames literal flames #if you wanna like chip into the conversation just shoot me an ask or respond to the post i'd love to hear other peoples perspectives #im not infalliable so if i said anything you view as incorrect especially in regards to intersex folks and how you all would like to be #included in these discussions as im not intersex but am aware of how agab is a subject that leans into the idea of a binary of sex #so yeah rant over <3 #retro.bullshit #rant

[birthofvcnus]

i say this with all the love in my heart bc i really do like them but le sserafim are going to get absolutely DESTROYED at coachella 😭

#listen they’re pretty and they dance well but singing live???????? they Cannot do that 😭 except for chaewon #fs in the chat for everyone who’s going to have to hear kazuha and sakura live 🫡 #mostly sakura though because oh my fucking god this girl cannot sing to save her life 😭😭😭😭 idk what happened bc she was stable during #produce48 but now she can barely talk-sing without her voice wavering horribly 😭 #i’m cutting kazuha some slack because she only trained for like 2 months so she still has time to improve but sakura has been an idol for #TWELVE ENTIRE YEARS 😭 baby girl at this point just be a dancer 😭 no improvement and regression in over a decade???? 😭😭😭 #eunchae’s getting better though!!!!!!! we love to see it <3 #yunjin is inconsistent sometimes she sounds amazing other times she sounds Not So Good #they’re all very good performers though cannot take that away from them #but live singing is Not their strong suit #which is kind of ironic given how they’re singers 😭 but hey #this post is going to get me expelled from the kpop community 🫡 #i just saw they were in the coachella lineup so 🫡

[prismatoxic]

bpd is super cool and fun bc if i am attached to someone and they like someone else more than me, i either:

resent the person i have never met (bc they're better than me)

resent the person i am attached to (bc they don't like me more)

OR

resent myself (for not being good enough)

and it usually happens bc the other person has a fucking romantic interest in the person they "like more". fam i do not even want that with you why am i acting like it's a competition

it also happens with best friends though. like. why does my little pea brain think i need to be the ~best friend~ of everyone i latch onto like a parasitic worm. that's too many people i can't be a best friend every time

and on one memorable occasion, i felt it about a FUCKING CAT, which is all new levels of pathetic (me and the cat became friends though)

#yes the cat was spunky and yes i felt very bad about it #i have been this way my entire life and only recently was i given the language to identify it #like i can point at so many relationships and say “yeah i was fucked up about it bc they had someone they were closer to” #the bpd urge to be everyone's most important person #it gets worse the more i care about someone and is the most violently upsetting with FPs #i do not know if i have one of those rn but some past/current? ones are inspiring The Feeling #and this is not anyone's fault. this is not something that can be Fixed in any healthy way #it is something for me to figure out myself #so if you think this is about you: please don't feel bad #please do not contort yourself to fit this impossible shape that will please me #we are friends and i care about you regardless of my nature and i do not blame you #i was burned very hard ~a year ago by an FP and it has left lasting psychological scars i am still grappling with. that is not your fault #it isn't even MY fault #which is the hardest part to accept i think #i am seeing my therapist tomorrow and i will probably bring this up. we're very new to each other but this is like My Biggest Struggle #so i should make a point of telling him lmao #anyway. thanks for reading the tags. i think i might take a nap #bpd posting #tox.txt

[drewsaturday]

i think i agree with that post complaining about how we end up reducing characters to certain basic traits through incorrect quotes and memes to the point where we can forget what they're actually like, but idk.

i also think that if you do that while still keeping the source material in mind enough, vine compilations for your faves can give them more depth in a way? which sounds really dumb lmfao but i think a lot of the more lighthearted jokey posts in fandom can give insight into the more mundane day to day of the characters that you otherwise wouldn't if you hadn't matched their vibes to a dumb quote.

it's sort of the same effect of making a moodboard or playlist for them in regards to matching a vibe and getting further inspiration from what that thing adds, but less serious.

#txt #i don't disagree w that post tho it is something i've noticed in some fandoms where i genuinely get so confused bc ??? #these do not fit at all #i do not think we watched the same show and i think this was made for the sake of just slotting these guys into a meme #and i think some of my feels lately about fandoms feeling so repetitive probably do in small part stem from the same being used for #every ship slightly matching certain dynamics to the point where if that's /all/ you're engaging with the uniqueness of canon gets stripped #but i also don't rly care all that much since i don't think ooc stuff is the end of the world if people are having fun #it's disappointing to see stuff i don't personally think fits but #it's only an issue if it impacts how ppl interact with each other about characters if they're coming from #such totally different understandings/memories of canon that it creates needless conflict #but anyway yeah i rly do love the extra ideas matching characters to funney memes can give when done well and i think that's #a weird amount of value i maybe personally place on something so unserious j;lksdkfj but i didn't feel like... #comfortable reblogging that post bc of the above but im still thinking about it so. thoughts!

[luffysbasement]

hello, i'm finally distancing myself from mcyt :]

it's been really fun!! i loved drawing for everyone, for my interest and esp just interacting with you all. this fandom brought me my friends and different experiences and emotions that are rly unforgettable but i think it's time. thank you for everything, i appreciate you all! ♡♡ pls do stay safe and take care of yourselves!

(my art will remain here ofc but i will most likely be turning this blog into how it was before, multifandom, personal and just a bunch of whatever!)

#the shorter version is the post #ill be here in the tags to talk more :] #honestly im pretty grey on the situation and im just rly waiting for whats gonna happen #thats not why im leaving (mostly) i think its abt time to accept im getting tired of how the experience is of being a drm stan #i loved the man i rly do hes been with me for the entire pandemic him and his videos helped me get through it #but its kind of a bummer that just by being a fan u get exposed to antis and their nonstop scheme of just starting up shit #and that everytime something new comes up you keep hoping its just an accusation but at the same time u feel terrible and anxious anyway #ive alrdy distanced myself from twt and by extension even tumblr bc i thought if i just keep drawing and not looking at my socials those #dramas wont reach me (they still do and it sucks lol but i did get a peace of mind just being free of social media) #at some point i started losing interest in mcyt in general the only thing keeping me was drm not even mccs nor other ccs rly just drm #but then recent thing happened and yeah :/ idk what to think im lost and honestly just tired of stuff like this #thats the final straw i think i dont rly want my mental health tearing up over whether to worry abt things i alrdy stress over abt (w the #college and family stuff) and freaking minecraft youtubers fandom #i think whatever the outcome is im just over it if drm comes out innocent i dont think i can let go of him yet #so ill prob still be checking up on hm and watching him by myself #if not then thats that. #stilli cant deny the fact that it rly has been an amazing two almost three years #i hope you all stay safe and takecare of yourselves ♡ #if anyone still wants to see my art im just hanging out in my onepiece sideblog lol @/luffysbasement

[orcelito]

Honestly I have realized that 99% of my shipping of vashwood comes from trimax. Yea I vibed with it while watching tristamp but trimax is what took my utter heart and soul

It's to the point where I just don't rly enjoy tristamp vashwood that much anymore hfkshfjd like. OK? Those sure are some dudes. Not My dudes tho, sorry.

#speculation nation #i'll still reblog the fanart if it's good. but yea it just ain't what im about anymore. #i feel like the worst vashwood perceptions r found within tristamp only fans anyways #(this post tangentially related to the post i just reblogged) #tristamp only fans see these two and are like 'this is the Angry Buff Dude and the Tiny Pixy Man' #which pretty much erases like everything they stand for? while also supporting racist caricatures. #not all tristamp only fans do this btw but i have definitely seen it much more around there. #meanwhile trimax vashwood is just like. this is an old married couple. theyre so hopelessly Goofy. #the angst is off the CHARTS. the love even more so. #they very genuinely love each other in trimax In Canon and that's what really gets me. #plus theyre pretty similar in height and build. Adult Men!!!! i like this ship for Adult Men!!!!! #idk this also relates to that post i made yesterday about fandom perception of vash being an innocent uwu virgin #despite being 150 or so years old. & they'll also make wolfwood some sex god or whatever #when comparatively hes been an adult for a MUCH shorter time than vash. my dude's still a pretty young adult ok #and you wanna tell me he's got more sex experience than the 150 year old dude????? ok... #lol im just complaining at this point. i have very specific views of my ideal version of this pairing #and a lot of fandom portrayals are starting to bother me bc of it. #so im just writing my own vashwood my own way. rn focusing on vash being a rounded person #yes having some childish aspects. but also some mature aspects. he's a goofy adult. it can exist simultaneously. #looking forward to when wolfwood finally comes in. i hope to do him justice.

[thecherrygod]

thinking about hdb while holding my head in my hands and suffering

#my posts #i cant fully articulate this #idk if i have the time either #but. help. i will tag this with my organization tags. i may see this at some other time and maybe ill be able to so #disco elysium #hdb #im just thinking about him and martinaise harry and his childhood and the 15th indotribe thing and dora #how probably considering the type of friends he had and how they all ended..... they were probably all like him personality wise #like. im not saying they were bad people like harry was kind of an asshole but not fully #like they were all a bunch of teens in a bad situation trying to make the best of it however they can and well... didnt work out too well #but what i mean is that i think thats partially why he got that level of attached to dora? she didnt go through what he did #she had the money to not go through that she was stable she was a constant in his life that was pure and that wasnt always #going through something. a guide. harry went to her like a moth to a fire with pure devotion bc she was everything he never had #she probably also treated him different than what all his previous friends would have. i imagine her to be very gentle #and harry probably never got to know too much about people being soft so that was also. new. but somethign imposible to him #so i can see how he would love her like that to the point of basically worshipping her as god and how he would still love her #years after it went to shit even when he cant remember anything. it makes sense #i think they were engaged bc the wedding gown but idk if its said in game. but he loved her enough to want to marry her in a world #where real love isnt possible for him but only for new people in a new world he still wanted that with her even if it didnt work out #he holds to whatever he can of her as a lifeline and i. man. dude. yeah no i get him #idk how long they were together but it also doesnt matter bc of how harry is as a person #also of course at first it was all good. she was basically fixing him but he cant get fixed only with love in a world like that! #or with a life like his... it was always going to go down. and i. dude #... i am thinking about this as someone who still loves someone and we werent even dating like #i think if we dated and it went bad like. i think id be in a similar situation to harry tbh. i get him #yeah no yeah lmao i do think of this person also sort of as the only good thing in my life #and i am glad she did reject me when i confessed bc if i had fully lost her i dont know where id be? but also man its been 7 years #of the rejection and basically 10 of falling for her. i get harry so fucking badly on this one USHDGIUHUSG #ok in the end i did say what i had to say but in the tags i dont think ill make a proper post out of it #but i did write it in a way that wasnt articulated for a post so i think i was right making it like this lmao

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore #its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household #ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail #whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes #ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out #of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally #and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me #they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can #they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition #they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me #by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once #ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point #and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on #while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems #mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is #instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world #and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life #mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad #im so fucking tired! #3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw

[firelordhotman]

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet

#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc #utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences #as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day #and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon #like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!! #i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences #i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is #i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les #this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn #but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything. #it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not #like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different #i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly #misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit #like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god #i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted #& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll #i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious #anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely #at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online #but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right?? #also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'. #its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'. #its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever #thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed

[zemnarihah]

ive obtained a guitar

#my mom had one that she said i could take. and for the longest time i was like no i should wait until ive been doing bass longer before #adding smth else. but then i was like. right now im rlly enjoying doing music and i have the time and the desire to do it. so like. #it seems silly to not. so i have it im gonna try and learn over the summer and see if i can keep up with both. and then when school starts #again if it comes down to splitting time between them ill have a few months in each of them almost like 7 on bass. and they're similar #enough to eachother that i think a lot of stuff will probably cross over right? idk i was looking into it and it seems like a lot of more #experienced players will play at least a little bit on the other as well. and i also saw an article that said learning the other will help #improve more on the first one as well #i mean the thing is. it is just for fun. but also i think it would be so cool if i could get to the point where i can make my own songs jus #to post on here or smth. i think that would be rlly fun but like if i never do. i still just like it and its fun so its fine if i suck #but ya im gonna do it if it ends up ruining everything i can just quit like whatever #the sad thing though is. its an acoustic waahhhh #if i keep going obviously i eventually am gonna get an electric bc i was trying to think of songs i could learn on acoustic and i literally #could not think of a single one i like. LMAO my parents had a copy of sheet music for stairway to heaven (i think my sister must've tried t #learn it at some point?) so i took that too. bc it was literally the only one they had besides a big book of mormon ones lol. so im gonna b #that guy that only plays stairway to heaven lolllllll

[oflgtfol]

i feel like im gonna wind up sayin yes to being a manager but atm im still like. So hesitant. but i know myself and i probably will eventually wind up saying yes

#because i love saying yes to everything and taking on more responsibility and giving myself even less time to be a person outside of #school and work obligations #someone offers me a role or a promotion and i just say yes no matter what #on my hands and knees. i am. so busy. all the time #brot posts #well actually lets see how much more im gonna get paid #if its only $16/hr im gonna pass LMFAO #i think it will probably be $17 but idk. #i mean i havent been formally approached yet its just my two closing managers who are trying to scope me out #but the more i think about it there really isnt anyone else they can promote to manager without just. hiring someone directly into the role #bc im one of the employees whos been here the longest at this point 😭 #and the second one below me is still in high school so shes out of the question #one above me already got promtoed to framing manager #since our framing manager was one of the ones who left recently #and the second one above me is like. a grandma and im pretty sure shes just here for some extra income #like shes solely a morning cashier and thats it #so its really just… Me … unless they hire someone directly into it. #i mean we have other employees other than the 4 including me i just listed but they are literally all just seasonal hires #hopefully we can retain a few but yknow for now theyre literally just seasonal

[bumbleblurr]

my love for shockwave sometimes overpowers my desire to see Blurr kick his ass

#my problematic tf fan trait is that one of my fav characters is tfa shockwave akdjfmfkfmjfmf #even more so since blurr is also a fave of mine so that makes me even more sus #like idk abt other ppl #but sometimes when i see that someone's faves are both shocks and blurr #im like ''hang on gotta make sure ur not gross about them-'' #IDK WHAT IT IS sometimes ppl just cant handle them and have to be weird abt them in some way #and shockwave stans. can sure be something #so im aware that maybe if someone who doesnt know me saw me posting blurr & #shocks they would be like #suspicious of me which as evidenced i think is understandable akdjfjfj #i prommy i am not weird abt those 2 i treat them with the upmost respect besides putting them through emotional torture #i am normal about them besides thinking about them 24/7 #my point is im built different but im not immune ok #i still want to see blurr fight shockwave sometimes bc i think he deserves it #but also i kinda want to see them be friends. maybe. idk im VERY picky about depicting blurr & shocks at good terms w/ each other #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦

[yelloworangesoda]

maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister

#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically #i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers. #sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people #he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it #was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks #everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him #about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure #you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually #happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he #assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends #hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a #a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and #starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years #and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of #brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but #he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to #have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way #overprotective. yknow. he #ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!! #simons spouting #a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault