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reallyautomaticvoid · 5 years

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Calling It: Good Intentions

Chapter 2: Where’s Tim?

Characters (in order of appearance in this chapter): Conner Kent, Bart Allen, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tam Fox, Roy Harper, Lian Harper

Story Summary:

Timothy Jackson Drake has been Red Robin for nearly three years now. Ever since he was summarily kicked out of the Batfam (no matter what anyone in the Batfamily said), he’s been taking care of himself. He has his own back and doesn’t need anybody else help, no matter what the Titans may say (and they have a lot to say on the matter). He doesn’t need a safety net when he flies.

Chapter Summary:

Conner and Bart come to town looking for Tim.

Note:

This was inspired by @iphoenixrising beautiful piece, Fractured, which everyone should read because, frankly, it’s incredible. I would also like to thank them for all of the help they gave me when I was starting to write this piece. Seriously, they’re a wonderful person who deserves all the lovely thing in their life.

Chapter 2: Where’s Tim?

“I’m telling you, Red should have checked in with one of us by now. It’s been—what? A week since anybody heard from him.”

“Six days, Bart, and six days is not exactly a long time for Red to be out of contact,” Conner counters. “You know Tim; he probably just got distracted by a project and didn’t realize it's been a week. Remember that weekend we thought he was kidnapped, but it turned out he was just playing Minecraft?”

Bart wrinkles his nose. “Do I remember? I was the one who found him. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to un-smell that smell.”

Conner laughs. Tim had been rank after not sleeping (or showering) for over seventy-two hours. Conner had used his heat vision to incinerate the clothes that Tim had been wearing. Tim (who didn’t care a bit about the clothes) lost his shit when they took away his coffee.

It hadn’t been pretty when Tim had realized Bart had thrown out all of his coffee. All of it. Even the beans. Conner still had a few scars from that experience.

This time Conner had a bad feeling in his gut which is why he was humoring Bart into visiting their favorite Robin. Or, at least, that’s what he told himself. He couldn’t bring himself to think about the alternative. Plus, he loved spending time with his favorite speedster.

“Do you remember how to get in?” They were standing inside of Tim’s apartment but outside of his perch.

No, thought Con, I don’t remember how to get in. And the last they had forced their way in, well, Con was sure that Tim would have updated his security since then.

At least twice.

Probably three times.

Con runs his fingers through his hair. “He’s probably changed the protocols since the last time we were here.”

Bart swears. “Right. Gotta love the paranoia.”

Con doesn’t answer. He scratches his head. “Well, it doesn’t do us any good if we can’t get in. Come on, let’s go check his safe houses.”

They turn to leave. As Conner looks around, he realizes something. The whole apartment looked clean. Too clean. As they hurried by, Conner glanced into the kitchen. There aren’t any dishes in the sink or, for that matter, anywhere. Last time Tim had (For lack of a better term) gone on a bender, his apartment had looked like something out of a war zone. Conner used his X-ray vision to see that the entire apartment was, completely and totally—

“Hey, Bart, doesn’t seem a little too…clean in here?”

Bart furrows his brow before taking a lap around the apartment. “Eerily clean,” Bart nods. “Maybe he finally cracked and hired someone?” Bart’s voice is doubtful.

Conner doubts it too. Tim could (and has) live in a sea of mess. Conner remembers one particular (disgusting) time at the Tower when the rest of the Titans had gone home for two weeks and leaving the newly minted Red Robin without any supervision.

When the Titans finally returned, it looked as though a bomb had blown. In fact, Conner thought one had and ran through the whole tower looking for Tim before they found him, in the eye of the storm, with a wrench in one hand and a book in the other working on one of his many bikes.

Seriously though, who reads The Art of War while repairing a motorcycle?

The Titans had a conversation with Tim about his cleaning habits after that. He’d been better after that. Sort of. At least in public spaces.

“Dunno, maybe?” Con’s voice sounds equal hesitant as they shut the front door to Tim’s apartment.

Bart punches in the rearming code. There's a slight hiss and a clunk before the door locks.

Conner and Bart started down the street. “I doubt that he hired someone.”

“So, what? He cleans up before falling of the face of the planet? That doesn’t sound like him. Remember that moldy ‘specimen’ that we found in the back of the fridge after we were gone that month?”

Bart snorts. “I still don’t understand how Tim got a rice cake to mold.”

“You don’t have any imagination then, do ya, Blue?” Bart and Conner froze at the sound of that voice.

Fuckityfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Conner shoves back a memory of Robin coming to the Tower with a row of neat stitches around his neck. When the Titans had asked Tim what had happened, he had just shrugged and muttering something about Batfamily drama. It hadn’t been that hard to figure out, especially when Nightwing had called about a hundred times to check on Robin before Robin finally got tired of Nightwing’s pestering.

Blocking N’s calls hadn’t worked out the way exactly how Robin had wanted since N took it as an invitation to invade the tower for the rest of the weekend.

Before that visit, Conner hadn’t known that Robin knew how to hug, let alone cuddle (it was adorable, and they still have the footage of that in a place where Tim could never get to it. Much to Tim’s chagrin).

Nightwing hadn’t let Robin out of his sight (or his cuddly octopus grip) for longer then it took Robin to use the bathroom for the rest of the weekend.

Conner remembers Robin muttering to Nightwing something about how he and Batman were overreacting, that if Red Hood had wanted him dead, Robin wouldn’t be here. To that, Nightwing pursed his lips and squeezed Robin tighter but didn’t disagree.

Then again, that was back when Nightwing (or Dick) had time for Tim. Or had given any sort of shit about Tim outside of what Tim could do for Dick.

From the way Tim was talking about the Bats now (which was becoming more and more rare), Jason was the only one who was giving any sort of shit about Tim these days. Jason had even saved Tim’s ass a few time while Tim was here in Gotham without turning Tim into the Bat.

Still, Conner isn’t one hundred percent sure that Jason wouldn’t try to kill him and Bart just for shits and giggles.

Slowly, they turned to see not one but two members of the Batfamily. It appeared that Dick—Officer Grayson he’s in uniform, dumbass—and Jason had gone out for breakfast together.

Jason was holding a steaming cup of tea while Dick—Officer Grayson—was carrying a pink box. Conner and Bart quickly exchanged a look (that the Bats did not miss) before Conner answers.

“Heya, Jason, Di—Officer Grayson. How’s it hanging,” Conner asks breezily.

Dick immediately starts babbling about Babs and the date that they went on last night, and oh, ho, just how much fun it had been. Or was it about their latest fight?

Conner tunes out quickly. There was only so much Dick a person could take.

Jason’s eyebrows shoot up, clearly not buying Conner blasé tone. His voice cuts across Dick’s like butter. “Nothn’ much. Whatcha ya doin’ on the wrong side of the tracks? Don’tcha know that Metropolis is that way,” Jason nods towards the city.

Plastering on one of the best fakes smiles Conner has ever seen, Bart says, “just stopped by to say hey to Tim. You know how it is with people you care about.”

This made Jason’s eyebrows, somehow, shoot up higher while Dick just looked confuses. Conner internal winces. Sorry, Tim. We owe you one, man.

“I thought he was with you guys this weekend,” Dick—Officer Grayson—asks. “He told Bruce he was going to San Fran last week.”

Connor gets the overwhelming urge to crown Dick the king of Clueless Town (population one), but he squashes it. He has other things to do today.

Like find Tim.

Since, clearly, none of the Bats were going to be doing it.

Surprisingly (to the Metas anyways) Jason shoots Dick an exasperated look. Or at least that’s what it looks like to Conner before it’s gone and all of Jason’s attention is back on the Metas. “Miss ‘em already?”

The question was causally enough, but both Conner and Bart had spent enough time around Tim to know when someone was fishing.

Conner shrugs. “Can’t get too much of a good thing, can you?” It wasn’t really an answer, and if the thinning of his lips were any indication, Jason caught that. In for a penny, Conner thought before lightly asking, “you guys seen a lot of Tim lately?”

Bart uses his super speed to elbow Conner in the side. The Bats might not have seen Bart’s movements, but Conner certainly felt it. He fights to keep the wince off of his face.

Dick—Officer Grayson—shrugs. “I just saw Tim a week—maybe two back. Why? Is he okay?”

Hell of a time to decide to care, there Dick, Conner thinks. Besides, he was at the Tower two weeks ago, and you sure as hell weren’t in San Fran.

“Wasn’t home. Don’t worry; we’ll catch him next time.”

The double meaning of that statement is clearly lost on Dick, but Jason’s eyes narrow. “Hey Big Bird,” Dick shoots him an annoyed look, “ain'tcha late for work?”

Dick checks his watch and swears. “Shit, yeah. I’ll see you tonight, Jay. Bart, Conner, good to see you again.”

Bart waved halfheartedly while Conner merely nodded. Dick hugged Jason (something that Conner was sure should have ended up with Dick in the hospital but somehow didn’t) before disappeared.

As soon as Dick was gone, Jason turned to the two metas. “Where the fuck is Tim?”

Conner had to control the strange urge to run.

To Mars. Conner hears it’s nice this time of year.

He and Bart exchange a look.

“Not home.”

Jason let out an impressive amount of cursing, not all of which were in English (Conner coulda swore he heard some Kryptonese).

“Don’t fucking try and play me, kids. Ya wouldn’t be here if ya weren’t worried. So I’m gonna ask you again, nicely, and this time, you’re gonna give me a straight answer or I’m gonna be pissed. Where? The fuck? Is Tim?” Jason looked between the two as he asked the question.

Bart and Conner exchange another look. Tim had made it clear that the Bats were very much not on the How Red is Doing need to know list. The first team meeting Tim came as Red Robin he had made that much clear.

I don’t care if I’m bleeding out in a ditch. Don’t call them.

Conner suppresses a shudder at that memory. It had been an uncomfortable meeting for many reasons.

For one, Conner knew both Gar and Raven were unhappy about the arrangement. They had been tight with Nightwing back in the day.

After weeks and then months and then a fucking year went by without so much as a postcard (during which time Tim had almost died on four—or was it five? —separate occasions), even the Titans who had been on the fence about keeping the Bats at bay were entirely on board.

Conner would always be grateful for the time that Bruce had been there for Conner before Clark had stepped up but…but Conner didn’t think he’d ever get passed carrying Red’s broken body out of the H.I.V.E. Headquarters and the weeks that it took him and the rest of the Titans to get Red to take it easy and to stay in bed.

Conner remembers Bart angry (worried) muttering that it would be easier to keep him in bed if Tim’s knocked out. It was finally Raven, of all people, who convinced Tim to stay in bed for the full time. All by just raising her eyebrow.

Nobody, except for maybe Gar, wanted to see where that raised eyebrow led to.

Hood though…Conner knows that Tim had made a few references to getting along better Jason AND that Hood didn’t always consider himself a Bat either.

He still wasn’t sure how Tim would feel about them telling Jason anything though.

With another glance at Bart, Conner finally says, “we’re not sure.”

Several emotions flicker across Jason’s face. Conner swore that he heard a slight wobble in his voice when he asked, “wha’d mean?”

Bart got there before Conner did. “Like Con said, we’re not sure. But if Dick just saw him, I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just at WE—”

Before Bart could finish his sentence, however, Jason has his phone out and scrolling through his contacts. It was something to be said that two of the fastest people on earth couldn’t stop Jason before the phone is on Jason’s ear.

“Jason don’t—”

“Shh, shh. I’m on the phone.”

“Wayne Enterprise, this is Tam. How can I help you,” Tam cool voice answers on the other end.

“Heya, Tam, it’s Jason.” The calm in his voice is impressive; Con has to admit.

“No, Jason, I’m not going out with you. Even if you did come back from the grave just for me.” Conner has to do a double take on the phone. Her bemused tone made it sound like Jason did this every day. Which, in all fairness, Jason might.

“You don’t know what you’re missing, luv, but not why I’m calling. I was wondering if da’ boss man was in.”

“Bruce? I haven’t seen him this morning.”

“Nah, da other one.”

“Tim? He’s out of town until later this month as far as I know. Why?”

“Just wondering. Had a tech question for ‘em.”

“Well, if you email him, I’m sure he’ll get back to you as soon as he can,” Tam sighs.

“Thanks, Tam. Talk ta ya later.” Jason hangs up the phone before she could reply. “He’s not there. Any other bright ideas?” Though the tone was sarcastic, Conner could hear the real concern.

“We have a few ideas,” Bart dances around the question, “but we're not sure yet.”

Jason snorts. He fished around in his pocket and produces another cellphone. “Dis,” he tells them, “is a burner. The only number in it is mine. You’re going to call me when ya find him, or I’ll be forced to come around ta the Tower for a visit. Clear?”

Conner takes the phone and put it in his pocket. His voice did not squeak (shut up Bart, it didn’t) when he answers, “crystal.”

Jason leaves without another word. Faster than any non-meta person should have to right to move, he’s gone.

There are several minutes where Bart and Conner just stare, dumbfounded.

Bart was the first to speak. “That was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced in my life. And I’ve died.”

A crazy, hysterical laugh bubbles out of Con’s chest before he could stop himself.

It takes all of three seconds after ditching the fuckin’ metas (like he couldn’t ditch them. Please. Jason ditches Dick and his hugs on the reg.) to call Roy. It rang twice.

“Yello.” Roy had his, I’m busy, so this better be important voice on.

“Replacement’s missing.”

Jason slides into one of his lesser used safe houses. It’s a studio apartment that has all the basics shit that Jason needed. A stiff couch that could be pulled out into a fuckin’ awful bed. The crappy TV that could only get the local news if the wind was blowin’ in the right direction. And fridge with some non- perishable food in it.

It was not one of his better safe houses.

“Tim?”

“Yeah. Clone Boy and Pint Sized Flash are here looking fer him.”

There is a long pause.

“Okay.” Roy took a deep breath; Jason recognizes Roy’s calculating voice. “Okay. I’ll drop Lian at Oliver’s and be there in the morning. We’ll bust some heads and tear up shit until we find the little bugger.”

Jason’s lips twitch. “Ain’t ya still on Oliver’s shit list?”

Roy chuckles. “Come on, I doubt he even remembers.”

“You blew up his beach house.”

“You helped.”

Pulling his phone away from his ear, Jason stares at it for a full thirty seconds before shrugging putting it back up to his ear.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Jason heard a scuffle from the other side of the phone.

“Dad, who are you talking to?” Jason hears a muffled version of his niece talking before rustling and a clear, “hello?”

“Heya kid.” Jason sunk on to the couch.

“Uncle Jay! When are you going to come and visit me?”

“I dunno kid. When are ya and your Daddy gonna invite me?” Jason grins at the indignity square from Liam and the sigh from Roy.

“Liam, go grab your bag, sweetheart.” Jason could hear the suppressed annoyance in Roy’s voice.

“But Daaaddddy-”

“Come on sweetie; you’re going to go to Grampy Ollie house.”

Jason snorts as Liam squeaks in delight. “Grampy Ollie? Please let me be there when you run that nickname by him the first time.”

“Too late. Liam called him that last week. I thought he was going to have a stroke with how red his face turned. ‘Course, I damn near busted a rib from trying not to laugh so he mighta and I just missed it.”

“Shit and I missed it. Fuck, that sucks.”

“Yeah, shit, Jay I completely forgot. Shit. Lemme call ya back in a minute.”

Without waiting for an answer, or a goodbye, Jason hears the three beeps that meant the call has been disconnect.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jason works on mastering the urge to chuck his phone through the wall.

Breath in. Breath out.

Roy’s gonna call him back.

Breath in. Breath out.

Lian will be fine at Oliver’s.

Breath in. Breath out.

Replacem—Tim is going to be okay.

Breath in. Breath out.

Jason did not want to (need to) give in to the Pit.

Breath in. Breath out.

Everything gonna work out in the end.

Breath in. Breath out.

The phone vibrates in Jason's hand. He looks down to see Roy and Lian’s faces smiling up from the cracked screen.

Funny. Jason doesn’t remember his screen being cracked before.

Jason thumbs the answer button. “Hey.”

“Hey, Jay, I’m really sorry, but I just called Oliver to see if he could take Lian for a few days, but he reminded me that he’s out of the country on Queen business ’til the end of the week. And since there isn’t anyone at their penthouse…” Roy’s voice trails off. “Jay? Are you there? I need you to say something.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure,” Roy’s voice is doing that fucking mother hen thing that normal is reserved for Lian. “‘Cause, no offense, Babe, but you sound like shit.”

Jason grunts. “Like I said, Bart and Conner are here lookin’ for him. They’ll find him.”

“Yeah, no. I know the Titans have Tim’s back. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” Jason stands up and heads over to the kitchen to look at what he’s got in the way of food.

There was another long pause before Roy answers, disbelief oozing from every syllable. “Really?”

“Yep.” Jason pops the ‘p’ as he puts the kettle on to heat.

“Okay,” Roy replies, clearly sounding like it’s anything but, “but if Tim’s not back by the weekend, I’m going to come out there, and we’ll bust some head until we find him. Deal?”

Jason watches as steam begins to pour out of the spout. “Deal.”

You can also read it on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106355/chapters/42802829

Thanks for reading!

#Calling It #conner kent #bart allen #Jason Todd #dick grayson #tam fox #Roy Harper #fanfiction #chapter 2

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iphoenixrising · 6 years

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I said I was kind of going on a hiatus. Too many things in my brain pan, but I connected with such a wonderful person, @careamorran, and had to write a thing based on a spectacular piece of art :D The post is here, and I really just wanted a little fun and maybe a little angst ;)

The blast of sunlight in his eyes is the conscious train rolling down the track. You know, right at his face.

After his syrupy thoughts evaluated the stabbing to his eyes as something non-lethal, the need to throw something sharp and vaguely bat-shaped at the defenseless windows fades enough that he can squint at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

Dammit.

He and Jay have plans for the day. Partially because it’s been two years today, and since Jason Todd is actually a sentimental cinnamon roll underneath the intense murder you vibe, Tim had managed to wrangle his reluctant significant other into finally getting the new ident set-up. It’s been a long time coming, and they’ve been arguing on and off about seeing to the details for weeks.

(“Things like a driver’s license, Jay.”)

(A careless shrug with a mouth full of meatball sub, “I drive, Timmers. I drive all the time.”)

(“Legally. The key here is legally.”)

His boyfriend had finally caved for their anniversary, and Tim would be damned if they missed the opportunity because of a long night in Gotham’s seedy underworld.

(Black Mask? Totally an ass hat, and no, he gives no shits about ruining the guy’s night. Seriously, fuck him. Mask literally hit on the Red Hood, right in front of him.)

With a soft groan of the newly conscious, Tim sits up, still wavery, and in desperate need of caffeine.

Desperate. Need.

The yawn is jaw-cracking, and he’s already reaching over for the lump of still-snoozing, just a tuft of dark hair peeking out from under their fluffy comforter in Jay’s room at the Manor.

If he grins a little, thinking someone as bad ass as the Red Hood is incredibly cute, well, no one else would ever have to know.

“Jay,” his voice still husky is bordering on fond, “we should get up, it’s late.”

He’s expected the inevitable, “where’s m’ good morning kiss, Timmy?” and to be pulled back down because Jay is really just as bad as Dick when it comes to pre-consciousness cuddling.

The hand moving fast to grab his wrist, to stop him from making contact isn’t necessarily unexpected because of reasons like ingrained instincts and Robin training. The occasional accidental injuries aren’t anything new. At times, it might be things like terrible nightmares or remnants of the Lazarus Pit. On the flip side, it might be residual panic because instead of Kon or Bart or Steph or Bruce, it’s Jason spitting out a mouth full of blood and gripping his harness with wide eyes and stuttering heart.

“Hey, calm down, it’s just--”

And whatever he’d been about to say in the usual soothing way dies in his throat when Jay turns, still in the t-shirt he’d thrown in before they’d fallen into bed last night, and--

Tim’s eyes go wide in shock and surprise.

Who the fuck is in bed with me!?

The set of jawline and ensuing frown is so painfully familiar--

From that time when Tim was a kid with a camera and Robin dove in out of the night to save him from a thug.

A Robin in his prime.

A Robin that’s fifteen instead of twenty-five.

Holy shit, Batman.

“Oh…” is about all his half-wired brain can muster.

Those eyes, the same ones from the painting in the main hall that used to be one of his safe places, the eyes without the green flecks, take stock, roving over Tim’s sleep-mussed hair, his face, his bare throat and chest, his too-big boxers.

And something seems to click.

“WHAAT THE FUUUCK?!!”

Is about as horrified as you can imagine.

The ensuing fight is really anticlimactic. Jason has aged-down equivalently, so while he can still duck, dodge, and fight better than any average person, he doesn’t have memories further than now meanwhile Tim hasn’t lost an ounce of his edge.

“You need to calm it down, Robin,” he tries while blocking a punch that is decidedly lower than what he’s used to. Yeah, throwing out that little bombshell is really a 50/50, but nothing else he can possibly say would help either:

*I’m your boyfriend, and you will be seriously pissed at yourself if you hurt me.

*I was the Robin after you, promise. I only got pants because those green panties were a hard ‘no.’

*You haven’t tried killing me in a whole year. Can we stop trying to break the record?

As it turns out, maybe he should have because those eyes go wide and the fight takes on a more desperate turn.

Well, fuck.

He catches the knee before it takes out his jaw, his suddenly longer reach catching the much smaller fist in the palm of his hand. “That’s enough, Jay. You’re going to--” get yourself hurt.

But the younger is panting and red-face, gritting his teeth with narrowed eyes, and an obvious plan in the works when he realizes he’s not going to beat Tim.

“Who,” and the tone isn’t as low and growling as the Red Hood, but it still jars Tim right in all the places where he’s still mesmerized by the second Robin, “the fuck are you and how didja find out?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so I’m going to let Bruce and Dick fill you in,” he replies, easing back slowly.

The teenager’s eyes narrow in suspicion.

“How about this then: you hide books all over the Manor. Alfred found A Separate Peace, The Outsiders, 1984, To Kill a Mockingbird, and The Once and Future King just to name a few.” He leaves the ones he’s found off the list just because the memories of his post-Robin life are apparently gone, and Tim is in no hurry to fill him in on the horrific events starting with the trip to Ethiopia.

Jason’s mouth falls open in a little ‘o’ of shock.

“One more just so you feel better about this: the first time B got hurt, seriously hurt, defending you, you called Dick at Titan’s Tower in New York.” His hands up in that not dangerous pose, he eases just slightly closer, tilting his head to actually look down. “It was that time with Killer Croc and you were freaked out.”

“How--” the teenager struggles, blinking at him with those blue, blue eyes, all of it without the Pit’s influence riding him.

With that realization, a horrible kind of plan hits Tim right in the brain pan.

“I know you’re Robin, so there’s some evidence, Mister Junior Detective.”

Jay gives him a huffing sneer, “real wise ass, ain’t cha?”

“Learned from the best,” he deadpans with a sad half-smile and fond eyes, “So, I vote we go downstairs, find Alfred so I can have some coffee, and then Bruce so he can have a holy shit moment of his own.”

Still staring at him, still calculating the risks and possible nefarious plots afoot, Jason only follows because he’s planning the best way to take this guy he’d woken up with down (and maybe staring down at his ass) while they went down the grand staircase.

Luckily, as it happens to go in Wayne Manor, at least someone has the patience to deal with things like utter fuckery.

That person will always be Alfred Pennyworth.

“Good morning Master--”

If Tim wasn’t as light and fast on his feet, there would be a whole lot of smashed ceramic all over the floor.

“My-my word, Master...Master Jason?”

“Mornin’ Alf,” the teenager waves a little, grinning sheepishly. “Found Slick here runnin’ the halls, so’s I thought maybe ya know who he is.”

(Slick? Tim arches a brow at that because really)

Alfred blatantly looks over, immediately getting back his usual calm, cool, and collected. “I do hope the scuffle I heard upstairs did not result in any bloodshed on the Turkish carpets, Master Tim.”

“I’m hurt at your complete lack of faith in my kick-ass skills, Alfred,” he waves a hand on his way to the sideboard where wonderful things (like coffee, please, please, please give him coffee to be able to deal with this and what he should very much not tell Jason) waited. He pauses to get his thoughts together, makes a mental Venn Diagram of the potential backlash of both scenarios, and adds cream with a little sugar so he doesn’t down the first mug liked boiling lava.

“I’m Tim Drake. Nice to meet you, by the way. It’s much nicer when we’re not trying to kill each other,” and yeah, that’s Alfred clearing his throat just a little. “I’m also a vigilante, so of course I’ve heard of Robin,” luckily, the way to trip up Jason’s radar is to tell the lie with just enough truth mixed in, “and I do work with Batman sometimes on out-of-town cases. I also do data collection and reconnaissance for the Titans, who I’m sure you’ve at least met at this juncture.” First few desperate sips accomplished, he moves to take a spot at the table and wait until Jason warily joins him, scrappy and scrawny, eyes that take in everything.

And he moves lighter on his feet, without a hell of a lot of burdens and probably a mass of missing scars from things like crowbars and insane psychopaths that deal in megalomaniacal delusions of grandeur. It’s a Jason Tim’s only known with a mask, and it’s a rough moment to stop himself from reaching out across the table to grip those twitchy fingers, but all he can do is swallow his heart back down in the vicinity of his chest, glance at Alfred with a little Batanese using just his eyebrows.

Without giving the his younger boyfriend an opportunity to ask, he cuts in with, “occasionally, B lets me stay over when a case gets...rough. It was last night anyway. I’m sorry I surprised you, but I’d been awake for about seventy-odd hours by then, so I was pretty compromised.”

Pretty much all true.

During the distraction, Alfred turns to busy himself at the sideboard. A glow in Tim’s peripheral is probably the butler texting the fam. B, Come downstairs immediately; Damian, please do not yet come downstairs. I shall bring breakfast up straight away. Dick, your presence would be appreciated at the Manor. It seems we have a situation. To make it a little more obvious he’s being serious, Alfred completely takes advantage of a displaced Jason, too busy staring Tim down from across the table, to snap a discreet picture to follow-up all those texts.

A fresh glass of juice and a side cup of coffee makes some of the tension ease from Jay’s shoulders, “sounds pretty stupid, you feel me? First rule of being a cape: take care a’ yerself. What we got against these crazy assholes? At the end of the day, it’s yer fists and yer brains, so ya gotta make sure ya got enough in ya ta take the beating.”

And it’s a fifteen-year-old Jason pointing a finger at him around his juice and all mock-serious, which it totally why he starts laughing without snorting coffee up his nose. Points for him.

“You are terrible at mocking B in lecture-mode. Terrible,” he shakes his head a little once he’s sure he isn’t going to choke, “more practice, okay? You’ll totally get there, but don’t think you’re ever beating out Dick. He is the official runner-up in the Best Dad Lecture category.”

A heartbeat and Jason starts to crack a grin, laughing out loud in that younger voice, the blue of his eyes without the Pit lingering, without the grim realizations of the day he’s going to die (again). He’s so heartbreakingly innocent of it all (and Tim just wonders how Bruce is going to take this because things like tears and BatDad are going to go down soon--he can feel it).

So by the time Alfred emerges from the kitchen with warm eggs and fluffy waffles, the tension has eased down between the former Robins by the way they throw stories back and forth.

“Yer kiddin’ me,” Jason deadpans back.

“All true, I swear. Freeze and Ivy watched him bust his bat ass--”

“Y’know, there was one time he fell through a crappy roof right inta a ladies’ shower, right?”

“I’m sorry what now?”

“That ain’t what she was thinking, Timmy. Just takin’ a shower and boom, there’s the Bat admiring the decor an’ shit.”

The mental image is enough to get him started all over again, laughing while huddled over his precious, beautiful coffee and lost staring at the fucking beautiful sight of his younger, unburdened significant other. Even better, more evidence in favor of the formulating plan clicks into place with Jason’s easy laugh and wild gestures. But it all comes down to basic facts: fifteen or twenty-five, this is the crazy idiot he loves. And if this is a golden opportunity to give the guy a second chance, one without the Joker and ticking bombs, without being buried alive, and thrown in the Lazarus Pit, it might well be worth the effort.

#based on fanart #love this panel #thank-you for letting me write something!#tim drake #jason todd #de-aged Jason!#someday I'll write more about Jason patrolling as Robin #you know B has BatDad feels #my fic #my writing

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jm-fraser · 7 years

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The Simpsons Season 5 Ranked

22. Lady Bouviers’ Lover

Maybe having Grandpa falling for Marge’s Mom wasn't the greatest idea for an episode, its really not bad, just forgettable and it does the best it can with its premise, the premise just sucks.

21. The Last Temptation of Homer

I don't know what it is but this episode has always left me cold, I guess it comes down to how quickly Homer goes from just having a crush on a co-worker to seriously considering having an affair with her, it just seems like too much, and doesn’t make Homer very sympathetic in that moment even if he does the right thing at the end.

20. Barts Inner Child

Overall pretty good, but by far the best moment is the scene that has the two best guest stars in the history of the show: Albert Brooks and Phil Hartman.

19. The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Not a perfect episode, but every scene with Principal Skinner is great.

18. Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

I actually really like this episode, the problem is as I have said before, during the golden years theres just too much good you have to rank some very good episodes way too low.

17. Homer Goes to College

Kind of a weird episode, and maybe it doesn’t explore its idea as well as it could have, its still a very funny idea and as a result a funny episode.

16. Bart Gets an Elephant

The precise moment where you could no longer call this show a realistic look at a dysfunctional American family, I mean its still great, but this would never happen in the first couple seasons.

15. Homer and Apu

One of the first episodes that explores a character outside the main family, opening the door for many, many, many future stories.

14. Burns Heir

When I was a kid, I always wondered why Bart chose his family over, unimaginable wealth, maybe that says something about my morals. Its a very fun episode beside this.

13. Scenes of a Successful Marriage

A much better Marge/ Homer episode than The Last Temptation of Homer, it really breaks down the core of their relationship, and that is as depressing as it should be.

12. Bart gets Famous

A hint at the meta deconstruction that the show would later explore in future seasons, where the show is already addressing its longevity, which is interesting looking back from season 28.

11. Marge on the Lamb

A Thema and Louise parody, that has far and away the best C-plot in any episode, where Lionel Hutz has about 1:30 minutes of screen time, and it is all gold.

10. Homer the Vigilante

Another very joke heavy episode, and as the best of these type of episodes have to be, this is very funny, with a great parody of Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad World.

9. Treehouse of Horror IV

While not quite as good as V, but it does include maybe my favorite Treehouse of Horror Segment: Homer and the Devil.

8. Boy Scoutz ‘n the Hood

Very solid episode from beginning to end, its very funny, has a great sense of adventure (I enjoy stories of people lost at sea, I don't know why) and a really great song, which puts it up a few spots in this list.

7. $pringfield

Besides being just one of the most purely enjoyable episodes of the season, the subplot of Marge becoming a gambling addict and the family falling apart without her around is a great emotional core, that impressively blends very well with the zaniness that is going on.

6. Sweet Seymour’s Baadasssss Song

Like Homer and Apu before it, this is an episode which, further develops a side character who was previously rather one note into someone with a backstory and an emotional core.

5. Homer Loves Flanders

Another hint at the deconstruction that seasons 7 & 8 would explore. Here they show a world where Homer and Flanders are friends, but they show understands that the world cannot exists this way and solve this problem in a very tongue-in-cheek manner.

4. Deep Space Homer

A classic, compatible to Mr. Plow in its legacy and its themes: Homer gets a new job and ends up having to compete with Barney. Plus the first appearance of the inanimate carbon rod!

3. Cape Feare

Many would consider this the greatest episode in the shows history, and its difficult to argue against that, its nearly perfect in its structure, comedy, parody and thriller aspects. But again this is my completely subjective list and I prefer the two above it.

2. Homers Barbershop Quartet

I love The Beatles, they are my favorite band, and like most die-hard Beatles fans I studied those 7 years of those mens lives to an obsessive extent, so of course I love this parody of that story by my favorite show of all time. One things thats interesting, is I saw this episode way before I had any interest of The Beatles so it was a gradual developing love once I finally understood the references and jokes that are throughout the episode.

1. Rosebud

Like the episode previously listed, I didn't truly fall in love with this episode until I saw and also fell in love with Citizen Kane, while I don't think you need to have seen Citizen Kane to enjoy this episode, I think it is a large benefit in the appreciation you can have for the attention to detail that was put in, and the skill in retelling the story of the greatest film of all time in 22 minutes, and have it be funny and have all the shows characters act within character for the entirety of the story, I’m sorry but if thats not an example of high art I don't know what is.

Overall Rankings:

1. RoseBud

2. Last Exit to Springfield

3. Homer at the Bat

4. Homer’s Barbershop Quartet

5. Cape Feare

6. Marge vs. the Monorail

7. Flaming Moe’s

8. Lisa’s Substitute

9. I Married Marge  

10. Krusty Gets Kancelled

11. Deep Space Homer

12. Mr. Plow

13. The Way We Was

14. Bart the Murderer

15. Homer the Heretic

16. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk  

17. Kamp Krusty

18. Homer Loves Flanders

19. Sweet Seymour’s Baadasssss Song

20. Bart Gets an F

21. I Love Lisa

22. $pringfield

23. Whacking Day

24. Saturdays of Thunder

25. Boy Scoutz ‘n the Hood

26. Treehouse of Horror IV

27. Black Widower

28. Lisa’s First Word

29. Stark Raving Dad

30. Separate Vocations

31. Lisa the Greek  

32. Homer the Vigilante

33. Marge on the Lamb

34. Treehouse of Horror III

35. Bart gets Famous

36. Scenes of a Successful Marriage

37. Burns Heir

38. Homer and Apu

39. Bart Gets an Elephant

40. Duffless

41. Homer Goes to College

42. One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish  

43. Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie

44. A Streetcar Named Marge

45. Treehouse of Horror

46. Treehouse of Horror II

47. Lisa the Beauty Queen

48. Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

49. Like Father Like Clown

50. Radio Bart  

51. The Boy Who Knew Too Much

52. Blood Feud

 53. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou

54. Homer’s Triple Bypass

55. Homer Defined  

56. Brush With Greatness

57. Bart the Lover  

58. Three Men and a Comic Book  

59. Simpson and Delilah

60. The Last Temptation of Homer

61. Selma’s Choice

62. Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?

63. Lisa’s Pony 

64. Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes On Every Fish  

65. Old Money

66. Lady Bouviers’ Lover

67. Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington  

68. Brother from the Same Planet

69. The Front

70. Dead Putting Society 

71. Bart the Daredevil

72. Colonel Homer 

73.Marge Gets a Job

74. Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment

75. New Kid on the Block

76. Marge in Chains

77. When Flanders Failed

78. Bart’s Friend falls in Love 

79. Itchy and Scratchy and Marge

80. The Otto Show 

81. Bart Gets Hit by a Car

82. Dog of Death 

83. Bart vs. Thanksgiving  

84. Principal Charming 

85. Moaning Lisa 

86. The War of the Simpsons 

87. Krusty Gets Busted  

88. Bart the General 

89. Bart’s Dog Gets an ‘F’ 

90. Dancin’ Homer 

91. The Telltale Head 

92. The Call of the Simpsons 

93. The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Flame 

94. Life on the Fast Lane 

95. Bart the Genius  

96. So its Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show

97. The Crapes of Wrath 

98. Some Enchanted Evening 

99. There’s No Disgrace Like Home 

100. Homer’s Night Out 

101. Homer’s Odyssey

#the simpsons

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