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kedreeva · 4 months

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Today in measuring your peahen, Bug is casually 2 foot, 3 inches tall (she can stretch a little taller when she REALLY wants a treat). This is just tall enough to see over a tray table and pull things off of nightstands and end cabinets.

Bug is also a little over 3 feet long from tail tip to beak tip. Most of Bug is made up of tail and neck. There is a 6lb dead weight in the middle somewhere that she knows how to directly place onto the ball of one foot while standing on you.

Bug's wingspan is around 3.5 feet, thought I didn't get a measurement. It will be over 4 feet as an adult.

Bug is growing in her spurs. As a Spalding (hybrid) hen, Bug will likely have one inch bone knives conveniently attached to her tarsometatarsus. This is technically fused foot bones, not a leg bone. Curiously, pure Pavo cristatus hens have spurs, and pure Pavo muticus hens have spurs, but many domestic Pavo cristatus and low-percent Spalding hens lack them. This is one of the indications of domestication in the cristatus species. As I prefer the wild type, I prefer my hens spurred, so this is a good sign!

Bug's toes measure a smidge over 5 inches from the tip of her rear-facing to to the tip of her longest front facing toe. Try measuring that on your hand.

Bug's nails measure 1/2-3/4 an inch long, depending on the toe. That's almost as long as one finger section for most people.

When I had snakes, I got asked all the time if I was afraid of them biting me. The answer is no. I have been bitten by a 6 foot long, 20lb boa constrictor, and have no scars to prove it. Meanwhile I have so many scars from peafowl sitting on me, particularly on my forearms, that I have had to reassure people I am not a danger to myself.

I post these photos as a reference, but also as a precaution. This is a BABY peafowl, and a female at that. She is only 6 months old and weighs a little over 6lbs, which means she's about 2/3 of the way grown, and adult hens are typically 3/4 the size of an adult male. These are BIG birds that can do a LOT of damage, even accidentally. When they become aggressive, as in the case of hand-raised males or poorly bred birds, they become a potentially fatal threat to any other fowl you have. Unlike chickens, they are more than capable of (and prone to!) jumping to human face level before they flog (kick with their feet in a way that allows their spurs to hit home), which means they could easily take out an eye or cause other serious facial injury if they get a lucky strike. I have seen more than a few people end up with stitches, and more than a few birds end up euthanized because people think they are gonna be cute cuddly friends.

I know that Bug is a cute bird, but I also want to stress that a) she has an outstanding personality as a result of breeding choices and socialization b) she hasn't hit maturity, and won't do so for another 2+ years, so her personality could change considerably still and c) I have been raising peafowl one way or another for my entire adult life, which has been structured around keeping them. I love my birds, and I would love for more people to keep peafowl as they are great animals, but they are not casual animals. They are large and potentially dangerous farm fowl that take a lot of space, care, and knowledge to keep.

#peafowl #peahens #birds #my pets #bug the peahen #feathers #nothing in particular spurred this if you're wondering #it's just time for a reminder I think #since i often see folks talking about wanting them #when they see pics of mine

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washeduphazbin · 3 months

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Adam NSFW Alphabet

Here ya go, ya filthy simps.

First time doing a nsfw alphabet so if it’s … bad I’m sorry. Lmk how to improve tho

--Minors DNI--

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

At the beginning of the relationship, I don't think this man knew what aftercare was; I mean, there's a reason Lilith left him. Let's be honest. It would take a learning curve and a lot of explaining from you about your needs after sex until he'd realize how important it really was.

Once he got the idea down, he'd be religious with it every time after sex, he'd ask, "What the fuck you needed to feel extra sexy."

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

What isn't his favorite body part? Toss up between Boobs, Ass, and Thighs, he loves them all. If you held a gun to his head, he'd say your boobs, big or small, he would NOT CARE. He wants them in his mouth.

Small boobie queens, he'd squeeze them like little stress balls when he's annoyed or anxious.

Big boobie queens, pillows. Need I say more. Calls them bazoingas unironically.

Type of guy to stand next to you talking to Lute and reach out and just squeeze your tits, letting out a HONK. Lute would roll her eyes with a snicker as you flushed, while Adam would look at you with the biggest shit-eating grin.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This guy's cum is thick. milky and warm.

Beads at the tip when you turn him on and likes to cum deep inside you, filling you entirely or on your tits or ass.

Will stare hotly as both your cum spills out of you, as you whimper and whine, usually making him ready for round two.

When you suck him off, he enjoys watching it spill from your lips instead of you swallowing.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Adam has one main secret (idk if it qualifies as dirty) but enjoys genuine praise for things he feels proud of accomplishing. It's not like you praising him for exterminating sinners; it's just simple, innocent praise when he does something particularly sweet for you.

A big softie, but only in private and only to you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a fuckboy. Sorry, not sorry, he just is. HOWEVER, it doesn't mean he is a star at sex. He's decent at first, but there's a reason Lucifer stole two of his wives. His biggest gripe was he didn't want to reciprocate head, but you broke him off that relatively quick when you squeezed your thighs around his skull for the first time, practically double-killing him.

It was fuckin' hot.

You both have a lot to learn, but you learn together, and the sex is still angelic.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has two:

He enjoys cowboy/girl because he's lazy and likes to watch your tits bounce in front of his face.

He also enjoys doggy style, so he can see your ass bounce as he pounds into you, biting your ass cheeks as he goes and slapping.

G = Goofy (are they more severe in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Goofy. He does not shut his mouth; he always has something to say as he's getting intimate with you. It's safe to say he never stops talking, which means he's very vocal about moans, whines, and grunts. It's safe to say he has no filter regarding you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty basic, but the carpet matches the drapes. However, he could be better- groomed. It's safe to say he's definitely hairy, not just there but all over.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Although Adam is definitely more goofy, as discussed earlier, I think sex is intimate and essential to him. While he can be silly, he works his ass and dick off to make sure it's the best sex you've ever had. Oddly enough, when he's alone with you and in a soft mood, he always romantically initiates sex.

Slow and sensual kisses lead to heated make-outs and biting before turning into more.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think Adam is on the more hypersexual side of the spectrum if you see sex as a spectrum like I tend to. So, if you're not around for some reason, he will probably be cranking one out sometimes more than once a day. Honestly, even if you are around and you're not feeling sex at the moment, he'll pout, but ultimately, go watch whatever heavens' equivalent to porn.

(or videos he's recorded of the two of you ;) )

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think Adam would have three main kinks:

Breeding - "All of humanity came from this dick."

Mommy Kink - need I explain more? Dominant women are such a significant turn-on for him; one look when you're in Dommy Mommy mode, and he's on his knees.

Role-Play- If you don't think he'd make you cosplay and act like Sinner who is trying to redeem themselves just for him to role play fucking redemption into you, your opinion is just incorrect. Sorry.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere and Everywhere. He doesn't care; if people see good let them know you're both hot as fuck. They're probably green with envy.

His favorite place, though, is on his desk in his office. The thrill of getting caught lights a fire in him that can't be snuffed out without burying himself in your cunt.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I feel like we discussed this one a lot, but I can add a few more. When you're mad at something Hell did or another resident of Heaven. Also, when defending him, think of the "He asked for no pickles" meme, but it's you asking for Adam.

Oh, and of course, you are in any type of lingerie, punk rock, or revealing clothing.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Piss, Poop, ya know the classics. He'd also never want to seriously hurt you, maybe a light slap here and there, maybe a little choking, but if he ever hurts you in the act, he's flaccid so quick and on you like a mother hen.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As stated earlier, his preference is receiving; he loves the way you look between his thighs and his thick cock in your mouth. Drool and pre-cum leaking from your lips.

But he has gotten more open to giving and isn't...great, but you're teaching him how to work his tongue and fingers.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He sets a fast and rough pace, hits you deep in your canal, and kisses your cervix, almost like he's trying to hit your womb. He's a feral beast honestly once he starts fucking you and it'd take an act of God to get him to stop.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

All the time though not super preferred, He likes to tease you as much as he can before letting you cum, but most of the time you have sex, it's out of the house. It's a constant struggle to keep your hands off one another and, more often than not, sneak off for a quick fuck somewhere before rejoining a meeting, hangout or if Adam needs immediate stress relief.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

So long as it's not on his list of hard no's, I feel like Adam will try anything once if you ask. He's for sure a risk taker and wants you to challenge him with something new, but in the end prefers classic sex.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He can last only two rounds, but they usually last. A very long time because he likes to be a little shit.

T = Toys (do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?)

He does not own toys, and if you have them and use them, he will absolutely be jealous of them and attempt to make you trash them. But if you say no, he'll respect it. Just be extremely salty.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, he's a brat. It is so unfair that it will test you pretty much through the entire process. He enjoys seeing how much he can overstimulate and edge you before he finally fucks you raw.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

So fucking loud. God bless your neighbors if you have any. His groans and moans could shake the entire house, and your whines, whimpers, and pleas for 'harder' aren't any better.

He also laughs a lot.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I think he loves to mark you up to prove to everyone that you are his and his alone. I think it would start with a shit ton of hickies, then a joke from Lute saying he should just collar you until he actually does. It's classy and elegant, matches his angelic robes, and has spikes.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

So I absolutely headcanon him with a dad bod (sorry, not sorry); I think he also has significant arm and chest hair and a particularly drool-worthy happy trail. He's squishy and you love it even though he can be a little insecure about it at times, you just tell him you love him no matter his shape or size.

He is your Teddy Bear.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HYPERSEXUAL. HIGH. THIS MAN WANTS SOME FUCK.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Passes out quickly afterward and can't go more than two rounds max. Likes to sleep right after but has learned to check on you first before passing out on your tits or chest.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #x reader #adam x reader #adam x you #hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x y/n #hazbin x y/n #hazbin x you #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel smut #reader insert smut #smut #reader imagines #hazbin smut #hazbin adam x reader

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ma1dmer · 7 months

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Call of Duty - Vladimir Makarov NSFW

the first time I went on a date with a slavic man my mother turned to me and told me "I didn't immigrate, for you to be going out with Ivan from the village" anyways, here is ivan from the village

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): surprisingly he talks, he'll go on and on about the small things in his day to day, his shitty day, the things he's seen since he last saw you, his plans for the future ,especially if you speak his language, in the darkness of your room pressed against each other naked like that, he almost opens up to you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he loves legs, he is a man who can appreciate a good high heel to elongate them, loves fucking you in the tights and heels combo, very particular about them too, he sees you walking around in a skirt with a slit up the thigh and heels and he's pulling you to him, asking if this is his present

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): in the heat of the moment he's so into the idea of cumming on you, messing up that pretty face of yours or leaving his mark on you in a way, but the second that post nut clarity hits he is absolutely disgusted, quickly throws something for you to clean up with while wiping his hand

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): he is a bit of a masochist, its just one of those things he'll never admit and you better not bring them up at any point in any conversation, but it gets him so riled up when you have the balls to slap him back, he doesn't encourage your behavior outside of very specific moments in the bedroom though, it's rare for him to actually allow it, but you can immediately tell when he's in one of those moods, he'll be lost in the feeling of you wrapped around his cock and suddenly yank your hand to wrap around his throat and growl at you to go on

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): a man with a lot of experience, mostly anonymous hook ups here and there, so it's tough to get him to get used to an actual serious commited relationship, but it's nice, he won't complain with having someone to always warm his bed or wait for him to come back home

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): the basics, on your back holding your legs as he fucks you, he'll kiss your forehead or cheek growling filth against your sweaty skin, if you turn away from his kisses he forces you to look at him, gets very petty about that

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): serious and very very intense

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): all natural, not particularly hairy but he doesn't do anything to it, he always smells very very strongly of cologne as well

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): not exactly romantic, if you keep him content and his bed warm, he spoils you outside the bedroom, that's his way of showing he cares and his commitment to you, but he keeps his distance in general, he is a greedy greedy man, he wants your full attention but won't give you his unless he is forced to do so

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): before he thinks of jacking off he first texts you, if you don't answer his texts, he calls you, asks you if you are busy, not really caring for any answer other than "no, my love, what do you want?" ,he'll be stroking himself through his pants as he asks you to come over or tells you he's about to pop in for a bit, if you happen to be busy he'd rather take a shower and wait for when when he can next see you again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): power dynamics, impact play, choking etc

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): he keeps his private business behind closed doors, can't stand the idea of other men ogling you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): a short skirt, high heels, red lipstick, play a bit of dress up for him, he's a simple man who can still enjoy the simple pleasures of life

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): he does not share, he gets angry with you when another man looks at you, can't even comprehend the thought of bringing someone else in the bedroom, if you even suggest it, you are out, he's gone, and he's fucking every single woman within a 100 mile radius as revenge

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): loves receiving, he is not particularly gentle with it though, he likes things very specifically so he orders you around or straight up moves your head like his personal fleshlight, he also enjoys having a finger or two in him while you give him head, won't talk about it outside the bedroom, but always lifts his hips up or straight up moves your hand to his ass when he fucks your mouth to let you do your thing

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): rough and fast, he'll take his time to prepare you but once he's inside he's almost single mindedly chasing his own pleasure, you have to keep up with him and take matters into your own hand, enjoys the show greatly

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): not a big fan, if he is at work, he is at work, you don't intrude during that time and he hates nothing more than an impatient brat

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): not really, he likes things very particularly done, its difficult to convince him to do something new, he's not unmovable but if you insist too much he gets stubborn and will keep denying you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): it really depends on the context, how long since he last saw you? how pent up is he? after a success or a failure? how generous is he feeling that night? is he spending the night or needs to fly out in a couple of hours? everything moves with his schedule

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he's quite possessive and very self absorbed, he doesn't like the idea of you using them by yourself when he's gone, but can definitely be convinced with something he can control for you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he is pretty straight forward, isn't so much a tease as he has a bit of a mean streak, he enjoys the little jump you make when you think he's gonna spank you ,but instead he just gently cups your ass or thighs, will smirk and ask you if you are scared of him or something, tells you to relax and stop being so tense, even though you have legit reasons to be worried

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): grunts and groans and a lot, a lot of dirty talk, especially if he sees it gets a rise out of you, you'd expect him to be quieter but no not really, he makes these deep guttural grunts as he fucks you and curses up a storm, especially in russian

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he is a pussy slapper, he eats it with precision and great enjoyment, but he's so mean about it, will coo at you in russian when you flinch at his touch

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): average length but very thick with a slightly thinner crown, very hard to adjust to

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very average, it's common to send you off with a wave of his hand if he is busy, but when the need arises in him he does expect you to drop everything for him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): this man is a little spoon, he will never admit it or ask, but every night he turns his back to you and expects you to hug him at some point

#call of duty #call of duty smut #call of duty x reader #makarov smut #makarov #makarov x reader #vladimir makarov #vladimir makarov smut #vladimir makarov x reader #modern warfare #modern warfare smut #modern warfare 3 smut #modern warfare 3 x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw3 #cod mw2 #cod smut #cod mw3 smut #.writing

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ann1-wr1tes · 2 months

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Nanami Kento NSFW Alphabet

Dynamics: Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Spicy Alphabet

Warnings: Adult themes, obviously smut, mentions of giving head, light bondage

A/N: So this is a little apology for not writing anything for ya'll. I've been busy but hope you guys enjoy this!

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

-Kento is incredibly attentive and sweet after having sex. Honestly he always wants to check in with you after, to make sure you're okay and to make sure he knows if there was anything you didn't like. Then of course he's quick to get you some water and perhaps one of your favored snacks. Then he likes to run a bath for you and help clean you up. While he cleans you, he's always sure to press kisses everywhere he can. If there are any bruises anywhere, he'll always be extra attentive with those.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-His favorite body part of his partner would be your tits. Doesn't matter what size, color, or shape. He is a man who can appreciate some boobs...respectfully of course. Though if you asked him he'd be too much of a gentleman to ever fully admit that.

-On himself her particularly likes his hands. After all, he can do so much with them. He can use them to smooth down your body, gently run through your hair, or of course he would finger fuck you until your crying.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

-He honestly doesn't care to make too big of a mess so he definitely prefers to cum inside you. Of course, he'll wear a condom if you ask and i'll be honest, he's got a huge breeding kink.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-He 100% uses pictures of you from his wallet to jack off. It may seem innocent when he pulls out his wallet and looks upon all the pretty pictures he has of you but sometimes behind closed doors, he misses you so much that he can't help it. You're just too cute~

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

-I can imagine Kento has a little bit of experience but not a lot. He's a busy, busy man keeping up with his job and then going back to Jujutsu Tech so he probably doesn't get laid that often. Granted, he has watched some porn but its not a whole lot.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

-Any position where he can see your face. Though I do think his two favorites would be Missionary and Cowgirl. Missionary is nice and easy, not too complicated and he can still fuck you good while getting to look at all the pretty expressions and reactions you have.

-For Cowgirl he'd really like that when he's tried from a long day of work. He gets to hand over the reins to you a little while you slowly roll your hips over his. He loves planting his hands on your hips and helping you as your eyes roll into the back of your head and you succumb to your own pleasure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

-Kento definitely is not the joking type when it comes to having sex. He may crack one mildly funny comment here or there but his main focus is on making you feel good.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

-Despite his lack of free time, he is always sure to clean himself up. Self care is important he likes to feel well groomed and clean for himself and you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

-In the moment Kento can be very sensual and romantic. His eyes are on you, watching your reactions, feeling you and your body. It can be very intimate and I think Kento is one of those guys who doesn't just fuck, he prefers to make love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

-Probably not too often, but often enough. Sometimes he can't come home until late at night and he feels the need to rub one out, or sometimes when you aren't around he takes matters into his own hands. But for the most part, he has you and his patience is incredibly strong so he'll wait for you if he has to.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

-Breeding kink. He 1000% has a breeding kink. He would never flat out tell you that he wants kids but if you ever went to him and told him that you desired to have a family, the man would jump on it so fast. There's just something about cumming inside you that gets him hard. I think he'd also like nipple play (giving and receiving). Oh and how could I forget..he'd also have a thing for bondage. With his tie or belt to be specific.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

-He definitely is not a huge fan of doing it in public or spaces where you could get caught. He definitely is more of the private type and just prefers the comfort of his or your house.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

-Oddly enough, you could be doing something as simple as washing dishes or folding laundry and he'd be turned on. There's something about doing simple, domestic things that gets him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-He would never be too hard into choking. He's just not a huge fan and he doesn't like the idea of hurting you. He also isn't too keen on sharing you either. So no threesomes.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

-This man loves to give head. He absolutely adores it. There's just something about getting to bury his face into your wet heat for hours on end while rutting into the bed that does something to him. He finds it to be a form of stress relief and is one of his favorite ways to wind down after a long day.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

-I feel like it depends on his mood. Normally he's into slow and sensual. I'm talking about deep, passionate kisses, slow rolls of his hips, making sure you feel everything he's giving you. But if you ever decide to act like a brat or he just feels pent up and frustrated then he may go a bit rougher than usual. Of course if he's ever too rough with he'll always apologize and he probably feels too guilty to go too rough with it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

-Kento isn't a huge fan of quickies. I mean why rush it when he can have you all to himself? But if he really needed it, he wouldn't be completely opposed to having a quickie. But only for dire situations.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

-He's not too risky. He likes to play it safe and make sure you are comfortable. But if you ever wanted to try something new then he'd listen and consider it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

-It depends on how tired he is and how pent he is. I'd say he could last a good 3 rounds, taking about five minutes each. But at the end of the day I think it matters most about how long you can last? He'll stick it out for however long it takes you to cum, which trust me....it won't take too long.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

-Not completely against toys but he doesn't own any himself. If you were to buy some he'd totally be fine with using them on you and it comes to himself you may need to convince him a little but he could never really say no to you...

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-If you are being a brat then he will 100% tease and hold back your orgasm. But in general, no. He's not too big of a tease.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

-Kento starts off quiet, maybe with a few hushed words here and there, a few assurances and compliments before he starts to breathe deeper. his breaths turn into small groans and pants and by the end of it I think you could get a few good moans out of him right before he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

-As much as he hates it and is shameful of it, he steals your dirty panties. He just got so, so desperate one time and you weren't around. He needed something of you and he happened to find your dirty clothes bin. After that he became almost addicted. The scent of you lingering in his nose, the feel of your panties around his cock feels too good.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

-When soft i'd say he's about 6 inches and when hard he goes up to 7 inches. Its long-ish and girthy and can be a lot to take on sometimes. When he gets hard has a rosy red tip and one or two noticeable veins that run up and down his shaft.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-His sex drive is on the average side but can be a bit high when he gets pent up. Sometimes he's so busy that he doesn't notice but as soon as he's with you all of the sudden his dick is hard and he has no idea what happened.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-He always waits for you to fall asleep first. No matter how tired he is he'll always make sure you are comfortable and safe in his arms. Sometimes he'll even read to you if you ask. His deep, soft voice lulls you to sleep as reads over endless words on pages from his favorite book.

#jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #jjk nanami #nanami smut #nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk smut #nanami kento smut #kento nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jjk x y/n

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francis-writes · 2 months

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FEYD-RAUTHA HARKONNEN NSFW ALPHABET

A/N: btw in these headcanons as well as my other posts about Dune i kinda mix movie and book versions of character

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Feyd-Rautha isn't the most affectionate person, even if you're together. He just falls asleep, hugged into you. He may help you clean yourself and take care of the wounds if it was particularly rough session.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It would be a hard decision but if he had to choose, Feyd would say that he most likes his hands. The way they use a knife, how they engulf your neck... he loves how many lives he took with his hand and you still kiss them and want them on your body.

When it comes to you, Feyd would probably choose all these spots that he uses to make you shiver and writhe. He knows you body well and remember where he needs to focus when he wants to give you pain or pleasure.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

In you, almost always. He sees it as a kind of marking his territory (there was that one fanfic where Harkonnens had black cum so basically everyone could notice stains and knew that they fucked and I absolutely love this headcanon), moreover he needs to secure his line and get an heir.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It takes a bit of time together for Feyd to accept this (and even longer to admit it) but he enjoys being soft with you. He still loves violence and rough sex but he also likes cuddling with you and being petted.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I suppose we all know the answer. Sex and violence are two things he mastered.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He can't choose just one. Missionary is good for keeping eye contact and observing your reactions. Anything where he takes you from behind, gives him feeling of control and domination. Also there are a lots of moment when you're restrained in all possible positions.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Feyd isn't a very humorous person in general and sex is no exception. Smile is the best you can get from him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I'll go here with his 2023 movie look and say that he's as bald and smooth down there, as everywhere else.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Well, he's not the most romantic person. Even if he loves you, he doesn't know how to show it except for being more delicate and caring with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He rather doesn't do it. When he's horny, he can just find you or one of his concubines.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

You can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands but I think that he has a mommy kink. He didn't got much affection in his life, growing up in Harkonnen's family and in movie version he killed his mother sooo lots of issues here (in comics he was just kidnapped from parents as a small kid so not much better). Anyway, he wouldn't admit it but he loves when you hug him and stroke his head as he rests on your chest or belly. Praise him, tell him that you love him, you're proud of him and he will melt in your arms.

Also, of course, all kinds of BDSM. Feyd prefers to cause pain but he's sadomasochistic and lets you torture him as well. I won't list specific things he likes because it would be easier to list things he doesn't like.

And semi-public sex? He wants people to hear how he fucks you and to know that you're his and his only.

Perhaps breeding kink (but in Dune almost everybody has breeding kink; bene gesserit is as if somebody had breeding kink and decided to make this everyone's problem). As I mentioned, he sees this kinda as marking his territory and bounding you to him? And of course, he needs an heir (not that he actually likes children).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom is the best. There's a big bed and all of his toys and tools... but Feyd isn't picky. If mood strikes him, he may fuck you on any surface.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Almost everything lol

But just to give a random example, he's always horny after fight, especially if he kills someone (same if you love violence as well and kill somebody).

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hmm he's rather possesive so it may be hard to convince him to a threesome. But at the other hand, he's a hedonist so maybe he would like it.

It's hard to say what he wouldn't do because as I say later, this man is down to try almost everything.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

It's not his favourite sexual thing to do, but he never refuses a blowjob. He prefers receiving, giving you oral is a rare occasion. He can do this, just usually his pleasure has priority.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually fast and rough, Feyd only goes slow when he wants to tease you or to torture you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Feyd prefers longer sessions when he can focus on the act and perhaps torture you a little but quickies are not far away in the ranking. As I mentioned, he has a very high libido, so it often happens during the day that he's busy and don't have much time so he just pulls you to the nearest room. And if some servant walks in (very unlikely, considering all the noises alarming people what's happening behind the doors)? Then that's their problem. Feyd doesn't stop thrusting into you, as they leave the room in hurry.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Feyd is that type of man who will try anything in his life at least once, so take care of yourself.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

In general, he has amazing stamina (years of training paid off) but it depends on situation, like, whether you have a standard fast fucking just to satisfy your lust, or you have a whole session with long foreplay. Amount of rounds varies but he can go for a few hours.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Feyd has a whole collection, whatever he could get. Dildos, clamps, spreader bars, ropes, whips, knives, needles, wax candles, dick rings, chastity belts, butt plugs and a few things that look like torture devices. Anyway, both of you use it rather frequently.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you. With his voice, his words, even his gestures seem sexual. He also likes to touch (or rather grope) you through the day. Fortunately, he has a high libido so it won't take long before he pulls you to the nearest free room.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn't very loud, if he moans or gasps, he does it rather quietly. But he likes every once in awhile talk to you and tease you. Maybe it's nothing special but even "How does it feel, my pet? Don't be shy, look me in the eyes" said in his low voice can make you shiver.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He is actually a switch. Top leaning but occasionally enjoys when you take control. And, no matter who's in charge, he's still a sadomasochist so even when he's dominating, he wants you to give him pain.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Perfectly average but he knows how to use it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Probably you all expected this, but yeah. Very high. There's no day without sex and not just one round.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Rather quickly. He has a good stamina but sex takes a lot of his energy, especially considering how long you do it and how much he engages in it.

#feyd rautha imagine #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #dune imagine #dune part two #house harkonnen

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thottybrucewayne · 5 months

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Another James Somerton lie that's super egregious to me is his lying about Janelle Monáe having to come out of the closet when Pynk came out because "Everyone got confused and thought the song was a girl power anthem when it was really Janelle's coming out song." and making a big deal about erasure and what not but it's like A. None of that is true the second that music video came out everybody and they mama said, "Janelle Monáe gay?????????????????" That was the primary reading of the music video, and it's very well-documented B. It could be argued that the music is somewhat of a "girl power" anthem too and I doubt Janelle would have an issue with that interpretation given that Pynk has a very "owning your sexuality and taking up space" message. C. Funny that James Somerton would make such an impassioned defense of an artist being "forced" to come out because he literally lied on a bisexual writer who was forced to come out after people assumed that she was some gross straight woman obsessed with gay men. James, who supposedly did alllllllll this research, lumped that author in with the "Straight woman who writes gay men's stories." in his video and proceeded to get pissy with her when she left a pretty mild comment of "Hey, after a whole harassment campaign against me forcing me to come out of the closet it kinda sucks that people are still calling me straight." Then, after very gently being called out over him erasing her sexuality to fit his narrative, he proceeded to omit the title of that author's work in his later videos and make up a lie about her being mean to him on Twitter when his audience questioned him on it. LITERALLY TALKIN OUTTA BOTH SIDES OF HIS MOUTH

This whole situation reminds me of a TikTok creator who's been called out for stealing from Black women all the time and how every time it's brought up, it's met with silence. Once, He just straight-up read out a Black trans femme's tweets without properly crediting her or asking her for permission to use her work. Making the excuse of "Well, I screenshotted the tweets and put them on the screen so..." then his fans spent days bashing her for calling him out on using the work of other creators without asking and making fun of her for having a donation up which I don't think he ever addressed outside of the occasional stray comment.

This way of "building a progressive brand" through stealing the work of marginalized writers is actually common in left circles and academia and has been an issue, particularly for Black trans femme essayists, for a while. Black MaGes (people of marginalized genders) will come out and say, "Hey! This really popular essayist ripped me off word for word bar for bar" and get paid dust because their platform isn't large enough to speak out and because their platforms are smaller, people are less inclined to care when they get ripped off. Like, it's easy for us to point at James and say, "Omg? How could he get away with stealing this much for so long?" when the answer is simple, nobody cares what you have to say if you don't have a big platform, thus nobody cares if you get stolen from and unfortunately, we're all complicit. Look at how much this situation has blown up just because a super-popular guy brought it up. If Hbomb and Todd in the shadows didn't speak on this story and these small creators made a bigger stink about James biting their shit, yall would have ignored them at best or crucified them and accused them of trying to tear down the body of work of a gay man and probably throw in something about them secretly being a kiwi farms troll trying to sew discord in the community (I know how yall get down...) at worst. To address this issue more substantially, WE have to be better about learning slowly and taking time to pour over materials ourselves and not fall into the trap of letting whatever video essayist we like the best at the moment shape how we think and feel about whatever topic they're covering. Ismatu Gwendolyn and their threadings essays on substack have really helped me personally start removing myself from the "quick learner" rat race and the need to digest as much information as possible that video essays fulfill and reintroduced me to learning slowly and with intention and reading sources for myself first without depending on the thoughts and feelings of a creator I like and agree with to color my view of things. If we work towards getting used to treating video essayists like essayists and not our parasocial besties being our beginning and end to learning on a topic, we can A. Mitigate the amount of misinformation and plagiarized work circulating by being able to identify them easier and B. Improve our personal relationship to learning so we don't have to rely on some stranger with "bisexual lighting" to make us feel smart.

Edit: Please rb the typo-less version,,,,

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #I linked Ismatu's substack because I cite my sources and am not a fawkin HACK #sorry had to get one more dig in <3

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lamentofabramo · 21 days

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Can I get an NSFW alphabet for Tobias Rogers (ticci toby) 🫶

I've been doing a bigger piece, so I might as well do something smaller like this since it's been a good while since I've posted now. (oops)

I'm basing this less on the fandom vers of him, hopefully.

Didn't proofread this much. (edit: I feel bad that I didn't acknowledge the heart, so <3 of course you can doll)

MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Toby obviously is one of the more caring of the creepypasta's, of course that's a low bar, but he is considerably more human than some of them. He's still gruff and fairly untalkative after the deed, yet he'd offer some water before leaving if you were just a one-off/ casual fuck.

If you were his partner however, I'd imagine he'd be more caring, still untalkative and unaffectionate, but maybe he'd hold you or hold your hand in this. Of course, he'd blame this on being unable to properly feel what he's holding, but the slow decrease in his twitches as he holds you speaks a lot more than he ever will. He's not comfortable, but he feels slightly less stress in your presence, at least until he has to leave, his mind penetrated by the voice of the foreboding presence of the ever-taller man.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His own favourite body part would probably be his arms, he was a scrawny kid for most of his life, but you sure would start gaining muscle if you swung your axe at people who you considered worthy of it. There's probably also some scars across his arms that remind him of his life before. Of course, he'd hate that idea, but he still has some attachment to his sister, his mother, no matter how hard he may try to push it out of his head.

For his favourite part of his partners, I feel like it'd most likely be your waist. It's something for him to grab, to hold onto to remember you're real, that you're still alive against his better judgement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) If you asked for it in a specific place, sure he'd do it if he was in a good mood. On your chest, ass, inside even. He'd risk it, he had nothing to truly lose anyway. But his favourite place would most likely be on your stomach, just the wet streaks across your stomach would do things for him. He's not sure why either, he wouldn't register that he does that almost every time unless you pointed it out to him.

If you did, he'd probably consider why for a second, his eyes widening in realization before shrugging. "Any better ideas?" he'd mumble, absently listening as he stroked himself. Toby would listen if you told him anywhere else, but… his eyes focused on that smooth surface.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He secretly wants to push the boundaries of his condition. He wants your hands around his neck, trying to choke him until it hurt. It was strange really, he had a high pain tolerance, yet he craved this pain. Maybe it was because he wanted to be normal, maybe not. He didn't want to think too hard on it, like many other things he just shrugged at the idea and continued with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Toby was definitely not an experienced guy, even before the accident where he finally became 'free' (If you could say being slenderman's lackey was free) the most he'd done was hold hands with a girl in primary school.

He wouldn't be insecure with it however, he never viewed himself as a sexual being, the most he'd ever fucked was his fist on particularly rough nights. Sure, he'd had crushes on women, but when you become a serial killer you go one of two ways. A sex maniac or a complete recluse. Unfortunately, Toby became the latter.

However, since he had a less than regular childhood, he was never able to go through the same sexual awakenings as many of his peers. Instead, that most likely came later, so when he met you he was awkward, like a teenage boy. Most of his language is through grumbles and grunts anyway.

When he realized you were stuck in his head it all changed though, his sex drive increased massively. His poor hand.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Cowgirl probably rocks his world, he loves that intense eye contact that comes with it. The way he looks up at you through his fringe, his mouth slightly open as he pants and grunts, is a reward in itself. However, he would get impatient, his hips thrusting up to meet yours or his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you down further on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) If something was funny to him, then he'd smirk, like if you hid your body from him even though he was about to be deep inside of you.

When he gets further into the activity, he'd let out breathless laughs, sometimes blaming that on his tics. He couldn't help it, though, he loved the way you responded to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Toby probably doesn't care much about how groomed he is, sometimes he'll shave, but other than that he's got whatever going on.

He has a small happy-trail up to his belly button though, it shows when he raises his axe too high. It's a dark brown colour, just like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He's probably not particularly intimate, maybe some words here or there if he feels like it, but don't overestimate him too much. He probably came inside you before he kissed you.

His cheeks pinken slightly whenever you suggest kissing, but he quickly slouches and looks away with an almost childish pout to pretend as though he doesn't care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Like I said in the earlier one, sure he jacked off every now and again, but it was more so a way to pass the time, to get some serotonin in his ever-pleasant life. But when he gets fixated on something, or rather in your case, someone, his sex drive spikes. He wants you in his hands, in his vice, it frustrates him, so he takes this frustration out on himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's probably degrading, mixed with praise. He's basically up for anything. He's killed someone, I'm sure a weird kink won't kill him.

However, if he does think your kinks are unusual he will take the piss out of you for it, teasing, but he still takes part in it. Its fun.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) Wherever you want, he's not arsed, really. Against a tree sounds the most fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) As cheesy as this sounds, you. Maybe some aggression on your side would get him going too, that mouth of yours was lethal sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Like I said before, he's practically up for anything. He might not be physically aggressive for you too much, though, it'd remind him of his past.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a munch, if he's in the mood enough, he could probably cum from giving you head. He'd deny that though, God that'd be embarrassing.

Not only that, but he'd receive too, no doubt, Toby would find it fun to just gently tug your head up and down on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Toby would probably be slow but deep if he's teasing you. But if he's just fucking you, then it'd be fast, his hands pulling you down on his cock with faster speed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Hell yeah brother. Just give him the words, he might tease you for it, but he'd never say no (unless he's in a more depressive mood).

He'd love to fuck you in the back of his car too, or masky's car. Just for the hell of it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He's a risky guy, but surprisingly, he wouldn't do anything that could get him potentially caught by the law. He's on the run for a reason, he's not willing to risk his freedom for a good fuck (sometimes).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He'd probably like to overstimulate slightly, 2/3 rounds before he's clocked out and completely dry. He'd last an average enough time, 20 minutes normally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Seeing your body twitch with something that isn't him would make him jealous. However, a little vibrator never hurt anyone. He'd tease you if you had any dildos or anything, though, asking pettily if he "wasn't enough" or that you were "stretching yourself out" for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Big tease, but he always fulfils your wants. It may take a while, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The only noise he really makes is grunting and whispers on how dirty you are. He's loud enough that you can hear him, but not loud enough for it to be a full-blown moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He does want to see how you'd look crying for him all bloodied up, most likely someone else's blood, but he's not picky. Maybe fucking you on top of a recently deceased.

But he'd never admit that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) An average to slightly bigger man, About 6.4 inches. Probably measured it one time when he was bored, and he hung onto the .4 for his ego.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not too high unless you exist, then…as much as he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't sleep much after it, doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in front of others, even someone like you. His nightmares don't help.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby #tobias erin rogers #tobias rogers #smut alphabet #x reader #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers

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blondiebabes · 2 months

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M.R. NSFW alphabet

a. aftercare "You did such a good job, my good girl. Do you need anything? A bath?" gentle after a particularly rough round.

b. body part loves your thighs, squishing them, seeing them in a skirt, having them wrapped around his head. tits, man loves sucking and laying on them while cuddling.

c. cum will cum anywhere on your baby if he can. Pulling out of your mouth to cum on your boobs/face.

d. dirty secret watches you throughout the day. he knows a spell that can turn him invisible, and more times than he would like to admit, he would watch you shower before you guys started dating.

e. experience man had his hoe phase. before he liked you, he would hook up with a new girl at every party. never really cared for feelings before you.

f. fav position missionary, he likes how close he feels to you and can look into your eyes while paying attention to your tits.

g. goofy if he's angry, he will be more serious and rough, but morning sex is always goofy, and he's known to make some stupid jokes.

h. hair he has black curly hair that is well kept. if you really didn't like it he would get rid of it.

i. intimacy, he can be super romantic and lovey-dovey, especially if you are into that stuff. I'm talking flowers in the morning, date nights, and jewelry candy; he's pulling out all the stops.

j. jack off

before you two started dating, he would masturbate once a day; he couldn't control himself around you. he also stopped hooking up with other people when he really fell for you, so the boy was backed up.

k. kink voyerism loves the thought of needing to be quiet and the risk of being caught. same with his dirty secret; watching you without you knowing really turns him on.

l. location anywhere, shower, desk, bath, wall, couch he's game.

m. motivation seeing you get into a fight or arguing with someone.

n. NO this is really out there but bro is not a cuck, nothing about sharing you appeals to him.

o. oral big receiver, doesn't love giving but doesn't mind it.

p. pace depends on his mood but is ruthless if he's mad

q. quickie in-between classes and early morning showers

r. risk loves the risk and the thought of getting caught is really hot, doesn't gaf if you two get caught, "you wanna join?"

s. stamina can go as long as you want, "again?"

t. toys would use toys to punish you or for his own entertainment. put a vide inside you on the highest setting to watch your squirm.

u. unfair ruthless. its his own form of personal entertainment

v. volume grunts, groans whimpers. "dont try to cover those sounds up, let me hear them"

w. wild card deadass scaled a wall to sneak into your dorm to sleep with you.

x. x-ray 7.5 in, with a lot of veins, curved up and hits all the right spots

y. yearning always ready and willing, will pull you into an empty classroom to bend you over a desk.

z. ZZZ waits till you fall asleep, will watch you sleep.

#mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo x you #slytherin boys

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sentoooo · 4 months

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[anon: Can you write a nsfw alfabet with Smoke, if you haven't written one yet?] sorry i havent gotten to this one yet!!!! didnt mean to keep you waiting anon. im a little bit behind on requests, but here i am!!! i also wanna thank yall for the support, i really didn't expect to get a whole lotta numbers on my writing since this is all for self-indulgence really T_T. i appreciate each and every one of yall

cw: NSFW, amab, bondage, body worship, dry humping, little mention of blowjobs, not proofread MINORS DNI

ᴛᴏᴍᴀꜱ ᴠʀʙᴀᴅᴀ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Tomas' HOBBY is taking care of you. Out of everyone, I think he is the most attentive. He has an entire checklist. First, he checks in with you. He makes sure you're okay afterward, he asks how the sex was, and sometimes he'll ask about his performance. He likes opening up the discussion because it shows him what he could do better, what you like, and what you'd like to try. Next, he's gonna cuddle up to you. Hold you all close, play with your hair, and pepper your face with kisses. After that, he'll carry you off to the shower and wash up, still peppering you with kisses. He just can't get his mind off your damn lips. Before you fall asleep, he insists on giving you a massage, and getting you a snack and some water, too. He'll even light some incense, as well. He's got all sorts of essential oils for you, like a whole library. And once he's finished his checklist, he keeps you close. Even in his sleep. He loves it when you lay your head on his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his shoulders. They make him feel especially strong. He also thinks they hold the story of his journey, from hunting with his family to becoming a ninja with the Lin Kuei. Not to mention, they help a lot with hunting, mainly with a bow. Regardless, he's just proud of how far he has come, and he believes his shoulder specifically show that.

On you, he loves your lips. Your entire face, really. But he can never get enough of your lips. How soft & inviting they are, how warm, it's just so hard to stay away from them. He always finds himself sneaking quick kisses from you in public. He also loves heavy make-out sessions, doesn't matter if they lead to sex or not. He just enjoys the feeling of your lips on his.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Tomas prefers to cum inside, he thinks it's kind of like marking what's his. It also feels more intimate. But if you don't want him to, then he'll cum outside. And he kind of likes it, too. He likes how it looks on your stomach, particularly. He also loves to kiss you when he cums, it's even more intimate to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Just how much he wishes he could see you masturbate. Yeah, he can ask, but he's too nervous to. He can only imagine you, too caught up, pleasuring yourself, moaning out his name, whimpering. Yearning for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's got some experience, just enough to know what he's doing. But he learns more with you, maybe a little too much. Because he's comfortable with you, he really likes exploring your body. And through that, he's learned of all your little quirks and such. He especially loves dragging his hand down your chest and your stomach, he finds that it makes you shiver quite a bit.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Good ol' missionary. Tomas prefers to see your face, and missionary is perfect. Keeps you two close, he can kiss you whenever, however he likes. And he gets to give you as much pleasure as possible. But, if you're feeling like a little bit of a workout, he also likes London Bridge, he just really likes to get in there deep. But he also loves holding you by the small of your back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's serious. Like Bi-Han, sex is a very sacred act to him. It's one of the things that can establish a deeper bond with you, and he prefers to keep the tone serious. He wants you to take it seriously, too.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's smoooooth, baby. No chest hair, no pubic hair, no nothing. He likes it that way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's amongst the sweetest. Sex is one of the deeper connections between you, so he makes sure you know he loves you. He'll outright say it, yes, but his actions speak louder than words. Mainly his attraction to your lips, he loves kissing you any chance he gets. He also loves it when you moan into his mouth. But he also spends ample time tracing your body, kissing down your neck, your chest, your stomach, all of your body. He needs you to know he loves every part of your body. Not to mention the words he'll say. He tells you exactly what he loves about you, he'll speak to you in Czech. Doesn't matter if you don't know it, sometimes he can't find the words in English. He also calls you all sorts of sweet things, Miláček, Drahoušek, Medvídek, Kotě.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't really need to jack off that much. Maybe like thrice in two weeks? But he prefers you, so he doesn't jack off unless he really can't get you off his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Body Worship. All the way. Tomas loves taking his sweet time with you, admiring every little bit about you. He especially loves all the delicious little sounds you make as he goes along, how you reach for him. He loves knowing of your yearning.

He also enjoys dry humping. Knowing that the gratification of skin on skin contact is so close but so far. Grinding up against you, moaning out your name, begging for you as if he isn't doing this to himself. He also loves it when you grinding up against his knee.

Sensory Play is another another one he enjoys. Blindfolding you, mainly. But he does also enjoy light bondage. Tying you up and blindfolding you, containing yourself. He likes the idea of being able to do anything he wants to you, with consent of course. Seeing you try to wiggle out of your restraints as he enjoys your body, rubbing his hands down your legs, kissing your chest, all of that.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Tomas actually prefers fucking outside in the forest. He likes the mood, it reminds him of the nights he'd hunt. It kind of brings something primal out of him! But he doesn't mind doing it in his room, or yours. He is kind of into shower/bath sex, as well. Even if it doesn't require penetration, if he can still jack you off in the bath, he'll enjoy it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

As mentioned before, simply kissing you gets him off. He loves when just a small peck leads to a nice, passionate kiss, to a full on make-out session. Especially when you end up on top of him. But he also loves watching you fight. He knows you're skilled, but just watching you in action gets him a little excited.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He hates being teased. In any sort of way. He likes to keep the rhythm going, because he's very in the mood. So edging, or a ruined orgasm really doesn't fly in his book. He hates having to beg or ask for permission to cum.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He can go either way, he likes it when you give him head, but if you ask for him to go down on you, he doesn't mind either. He kind of likes it, regardless. He likes doing anything that makes you squirm with his touch, so if you want him to, gladly. But if you offer to give him head, he won't refuse. He loves it when you deepthroat him, especially.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's got a moderate pace, not to fast, not to slow. Depends on the mood, really. If you two are having a quiet night, being soft with each other, he'll go slow & sensual. But, if things are getting heated, he's gonna go faster. And rougher, if you want. Especially in the woods, that's where he likes to fuck you pretty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You'd have to convince him. If you two haven't been able to enjoy sex for about a month, he's okay with it. He knows the importance of sex, and just releasing that energy once in a while. But if you two have time for a full-fledged night, then he'd prefer you two wait until then.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's perfectly fine with where he is. He isn't really comfortable with risks or experimenting, he thinks he's doing fine as is. And he knows you feel good with him, so to him there's no point.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Alllll night. And maybe shower sex, afterwards. But he's all tuckered out in the morning. Because of his training (and prior hunting), he has more than enough stamina. He just needs at least a day to recover, if you do go all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really, only the needs to tie you up in light bondage. But if you have toys, he'll gladly use them, and incorporate them into sex regularly. He loves giving you the extra boost of pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tomas doesn't tease, he's probably the fairest out of the roster. Because he hates being teased, he won't tease you in any way. Even if you argue that his extensive body-worship routine is teasing. You both know it's not.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Depends on the mood. If it's a sensual night, he's rather quiet, moaning directly into your ear. But if you two are out in the woods, and he's goin' rough, he'll be a lot louder, even growling a bit. Actually, some of the words he says has a bit of a growl to it, too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes, when he's real into it, he has a little bit of a Czech accent. Obviously, when he's speaking Czech. But even some phrases in English will have a little bit of accent to it. Especially when he's closer to your ear. It's not something you hear much, since he's been with the Lin Kuei longer than he had been in Prague.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Tomas is a grower, 6.2" in length when hard, 1.6" wide. Leans slightly to the right, and moderately veiny.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's really just ready whenever you are. His sex drive isn't the highest, but it isn't low, either. He's patient, he can wait until whenever.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how long you two went on for. If it was all night, all he can really do is finish his aftercare checklist, and then he'll pass right out on your chest. But if you two only went for like three rounds, he's making an effort to stay up until you're asleep.

#⁺◟sentooo #mk1 x reader #mk x reader #mortal kombat 1 x reader #mortal kombat x reader #mk1 x male reader #mk x male reader #mortal kombat 1 x male reader #mortal kombat x male reader #tomas vrbada x reader #smoke x reader #tomas vrbada x male reader #smoke x male reader

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venturelovebot · 1 month

Text

SFW Alphabet

A/N: I'm still working on part two of my tattoo date fic so I hope this will suffice in the mean time!

Premise: Venture's SFW alphabet headcanons! I did every letter!

Warnings: None! Just fluff!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

• EXTREMELY. Cannot keep their hands to themselves– physical touch is their love language. Gets touch starved so easily it's kind of sad. Has to be holding hands at all times off work. Absolutely loves hugs, kisses and cuddling you so much. ( ˊᵕˋ )♡

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

• They met you when you were both going to school. Considers themself lucky to have met you in the first place even if you weren't both studying archeology. Extremely loyal and caring and always went out of their way to spend time with you when they saw you. Encouraged you to try your best at everything and was always enthusiastic to learn whatever you were learning about.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

• YES– loves to be the big spoon if you're shorter. Being little spoon is also great to them. Would and could cuddle you for days on end if life permitted it. Loves it when you lay your head on their chest and listens to their heartbeat, and they love doing the same to you if they had a particularly rough day. Loves to rub your hand with their thumb when holding it (also known as the Thumb Thing™️).

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

• One day they definitely want to when their body can't keep up with adventuring anymore. You both take turns cooking and cleaning unless you're particularly tired or sick, then they switch into Parent Mode™️ and take care of everything to the best of their ability.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

• I'm pretty sure you're stuck with them for life. You'd literally have to die in order to break up... 😭 Like once they find someone that puts up with all their shenanigans that's it. You're locked in for life. Good luck.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

• Would absolutely brag nonstop about having a spouse. Definitely mentions them without thinking ("Oh my god I gotta show Y/N" "I wonder how Y/N is doing today" "I wonder if Y/N would like this") but getting married depends on you honestly. They're fine with just being in a committed relationship.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

• They're tougher than they realize sometimes, but they try to be as gentle as they can depending on your sensory tolerance. Emotionally they're the sweetest little goober ever so you'll never have to worry about them hurting your feelings!

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

• Hugs are their lifeblood, second to cuddles. They don't even ask for them– just expect for them to have their arms around you at nearly all times. Their hugs are super warm and comforting! Loves to hold on to you a lot and just sway back and forth a little bit and just enjoy your physical company.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

• Says it by accident a couple dates in, gets so embarrassed about it that they avoid you for a day or so until they feel guilty and talk to you about it. Didn't even think about the possibility you'd say it back (and mean it) until you actually did because you were worried about them avoiding you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

• Gets a little jealous if they see someone making you laugh but they're not going to make a big deal about it. They usually cheer up with hugs and reassurance if they really need it. Has a lot of trust in you, but they can be a tiny bit insecure and worry they're not good enough... they'd never tell you that, though.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

• Literally anywhere and everywhere but is a giant fan of forehead and cheek kisses. If you wear lipstick and leave a mark behind they love it even more, but don't expect them to tell you that. Loves to shower kisses on parts of yourself that you're insecure about.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

• A giant goofball around kids, and they're excellent with them. Has no idea if they want kids of their own yet though.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

• They're usually up first and always bring you coffee how you like it. Makes breakfast if they have the time but usually just puts a bagel in the toaster and is out the door. On days they aren't busy they love to cuddle you until you wake up. If you're the one up first they panic when the bed is empty (how did you escape their arms?!?!) before inevitably falling back asleep again... but not for long.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

• Sleeps much, much better with you beside them. Has to be holding on to you in order to stay asleep and ends up taking up the entire bed as a result. You have definitely fallen asleep holding their hand and woke up still holding it. Big fan of reading with you until you both fall asleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

• Accidentally opens up about the most random things but doesn't mind sharing their experiences if you're sharing yours. Mostly afraid of opening up too much because they're afraid of being seen as annoying or overly dependent so they need some reassurance that you're okay with them sharing things about themself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

• Easily frustrated at some things (usually equipment and unforeseeable circumstances) but it takes a lot to actually get them angry. Would never take it out on anyone but themself, though.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

• Remembers every detail of your conservations down to the time you said it. Almost a concerning level of memorization but it's done out of love and not because they're being weird– they promise!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

• If you're married then it's definitely your wedding. If you're not married then it's definitely the first date.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

• More protective then they realize. Always subconsciously likes to hover over you, so you're always accidentally running into them when you turn around. Otherwise they need you to be nearby if possible because you're their biggest comfort! They feel protected just being around you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

• Tries their hardest at literally everything but not everything always goes the way they want it to... 😭 Always remembers your birthday and anniversary because it's some of the happiest days of their life. Puts 110% into finding the perfect gifts for you and would always prefer to make/find it themself rather then buy anything (but can't help it if they buy you a plushie of your favorite animal).

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

• You can't convince me they're not ADHD so they got impulsive issues for sure. Doesn't think everything through before doing it– how do you think their tooth got chipped? Also has a bad habit of cutting everyone off in conversation because they want to info dump about certain things. It's endearing, really.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

• Puts a moderate amount of effort into their appearance. Definitely goes the extra mile for important things like dates but otherwise keeps it pretty casual. They like to be comfy more than anything.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

• Absolutely! They don't even like going a day without a hug or kiss from you. They want you to be apart of their story until the very end, just like the skeleton lovers of Pompeii.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

• Isn't a huge conspiracy theorist but certainly thinks about ancient aliens a lot more than most archeologists do.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

• Doesn't like overly apathetic people– especially when it comes to preserving history and making sure the history of humans isn't erased. Also wouldn't really like anyone who didn't care at least a little bit about history and human's ability to repeat it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

• Naps like a pro but they can't sleep through the night if they're not with you. Loves to have lavender tea with you before bed: specifically after showering and before beginning your reading session. Needs a goodnight kiss before turning off the lights.

#venture x reader #venture overwatch #sloane cameron #overwatch x you #overwatch x reader #overwatch fanfiction #overwatch 2 #overwatch #banner and divider by saradika-graphics

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glitteringcrab · 5 months

Text

Evil Morty and the other Mortys (part 2)

A continuation of this blog.

Theory 7: Internalized victim blaming

Evil Morty is not the only Morty acting extremely harsh to other Mortys. We've already seen random Mortys in the Citadel being jerks to other Mortys.

1) Mortys in Morty Town seem to be particularly aggressive towards Cop Morty. It's unclear if it's because he's a cop (and therefore they're equally aggressive to Cop Rick), or if it's because a Morty accompanied by a Rick. Or if they are aggressive to Cop Rick because he dared enter Morty Town. It could be all of the above.

Cop Morty, in turn, returns the favor.

Here we have a Morty who dares to utter the phrase "Mortys are human!" (I mean... is it a matter of debate?! YIKES)

And he gets (a) called a "Rickless animal" (b) electrocuted for his trouble.

Soon after, we see Cop Morty:

(d) electrocuting another Morty for absolutely no reason:

Note that the derogative insults obviously apply to Cop Morty as well. He, too, is a Rickless Morty, as he keeps making clear that Cop Rick is simply his partner, not his Rick. And he might wear a uniform right now, but at some point in the past he definitely wore a yellow shirt.

2) AT THE SAME TIME, having a Rick is also an insult:

(and things escalate fast)

3) Initially, Cop Morty was capable of overplaying his "Mortyness" to other Mortys...

...who also did the exact same thing to him, before making fun of him:

Mortys are also overplaying their Mortyness to Ricks...

...which apparently is a thing that happens often, judging from Cop Morty's immediate explanation:

Cop Morty tries the exact same technique against his partner... (and it's clear at this point that Cop Morty actually liked Cop Rick... but doing as Cop Rick was asking him to do would have serious consequences for him, so Cop Morty put his own well-being first)

However, Cop Rick is wise to this trick by now, and so he is ready. He shoots first.

4) Mortys are quick to throw other innocent Mortys under the bus, so that they can escape:

Here is a description of the Mortys responsible for the perpetration of the store robbery:

No noteworthy features. Just four normal Mortys.

And here is a picture of the Morty Town Locos:

They have facial tatoos... THEY DIDN'T ROB THAT STORE.

5) Cop Morty is ready to go to extreme measures to erase every trace of the Morty Town Locos:

Do any of the above sound familiar?

Derogative terms to other Mortys...

...including self...! (pretty justifiably though, in this case)

2. Getting angry at the suggestion that he is accompanying a Rick:

3. Overplaying his Mortyness

4. Throwing innocent Mortys under the bus:

5. Going to extreme measures for your own well-being...

They're all textbook variations of the things Evil Morty has been doing.

Which makes sense. After all, if he is one of the many excess clones in the Citadel, then his experiences must be similar to the experiences of the other unwanted Mortys, and they should have similar reactions. The only difference between them is that his actions have been careful, calculated and ultimately successful (and, uh, excessive), whilst theirs have been uncoordinated and heated.

If we take into account all of the above, it seems to me that there might be a lot of internalized victim-blaming among the excess Mortys of the Citadel.

If they partner with a Rick, they're sell-out yellowshirt Mortys who throw away their self-respect in favor of Ricks' interests, who choose to turn a blind eye to all the atrocities Ricks have been committing, who worship an undeserving being all for the sake of a mocking semblance of family, encouraging other Mortys to engage in the same self-destructive act. They want to be a human shield. (They might as well be a human shield, then...)

If they don't partner with a Rick they have very few tools in their disposal to survive. They have to become as ruthless and unforgiving as their surroundings. They have to become their own Rick, so that they can catch up to their Rick-full environment. And the Mortys who choose to not do that? It's their fault for being weak and emotional and not doing what needs to be done. I mean, think of it. Evil Morty overpowered his Rick simply by making him drunk. Literally every Morty could do that, if they wanted. They just choose not to. Morty Prime can disassemble neutrino bombs. My bet is he could assemble one too, if he wanted. He could easily kill a black-out drunk Rick C-137, if he decided to. Or he could try to find a way to keep Rick in stasis, so that he doesn't return via Operation Phoenix. But he doesn't. He chooses to let the abuse keep happening to him, so he's deserving of his fate.

(I mean, not really, of course, but I can totally see Ricks mocking their Mortys for not having the guts to stand up for themselves and claiming that Mortys want the abusive relationship to continue... otherwise, why even enlist in a Morty Agency, if not because you want more of the same?)

(At the same time, Ricks manipulate Mortys into believing they're selfish for trying to set boundaries... Into believing they're evil for not putting Ricks' wellbeing first.) (might as well actually be evil then, huh)

...I'm glad the Citadel's gone.

#rick and morty #evil morty

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 5 months

Note

Hello love 🖤

Can I request an a-z fluffy hc for Pietro?

lovie, OFC OFC!! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

SFW ALPHABET

pietro maximoff x implied female reader, 1.2k words

found lots of different templates, so I combined parts as wasn't sure

A = attractive (what do they find attractive about their partner?)

— physically: hands, hair, eyes, thighs

— mentally: how kind and considerate you are. your big, loving heart

B = baby (do they want a family? why/why not?)

im in 2 minds - either yes and have a tonne or none. thinking he likes the idea of some of the responsibility, so being an uncle is a good compromise. he probably only wants to spend time with just you, so a kid may get in the way (sorry)

C = cuddle (how do they like to cuddle?)

on the sofa, huddled under blankets with you half lying on him. legs wrapped together kinda thing

D = dreams (how do they picture their future with their S/O?)

maybe lots of travelling, but eventually you'd both settle down somewhere quiet and grow old together

E = emotions (are they open with their emotions?)

I think he's mostly open with his feelings. not ashamed to cry at a movie. VERY open and vocal about his feelings for you

F = feelings (when did they know they’re in love?)

probably immediately/ after your first date. definitely when he realises how similar you are to him - ie when playing along with is humour

G = gratitude (how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their S/O does for them?)

I think sometimes he can be a little oblivious, but that doesn't mean he's unappreciative!! he's very grateful for you, and how you love and care for him, just sometimes he doesn't particularly notice your sacrifices - like when you'd put his feelings first. but he's getting better at noticing and in turn showing his thanks

H = honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their S/O?)

I think he's mostly an open book, and probably overshares on many things - tells you gross stories you don't wanna hear and will tell you other people's secrets too. bit of a blabber mouth

I = injury (how would they react if you got hurt?)

would definitely wanna hurt the person that hurt you. but would also help patch you up if you hurt yourself. probs a bit overdramatic about something minuscule - all up in arms, acting like you lost a limb if you sliced your finger when chopping food

J = jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they deal with it)

yep very, but like the tan one, he knows that only he gets to have you, so that reassures him when he sees you get hit on. he def tries to make the other person jealous while they're chatting you up - would kiss you, or wrap an arm around you, maybe whispers something before walking you away

K = kiss (how do they kiss you? how do they like to be kissed?)

im thinking the chastest and most innocent of kisses are likely to turn into a full-fledged makeout. he's a very passionate guy, so he probs kisses like he's saying goodbye

L = love (who says ‘I love you’ first?)

him. him. pietro! probably way too soon, but he means it and didn't say it just because

M = memory (what’s their favorite memory together?)

when he took you back home to sokovia to meet his family (and no, they didn't die, everyone is alive and well!) he saw you talk and mix yourself in his culture - like when you help his mum make a meal or play a game with his dad. the whole trip would be one of his most favourite memories

N = nickel (do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?)

yes! he tries to with what he can. it may not be extravagant, but it's thoughtful and special. (or maybe he borrows it from shops) he says when he gets rich and old, he'll buy you anything you want. makes these cute 'promises' about buying you a big house (even though may never afford it)

O = on cloud nine (what are they like when they’re in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their feelings?)

SMITTEN! SMITTEN! SMITTEN!! completely and utterly smitten. it's very obvious and he isn't afraid to show it. he loves you and he wants everyone to know. like in elf, "im in love, im in love and I don't care who knows it"

P = pet names (what pet names do they use?)

any 'sokovian' terms of endearment - milovat/ draga. also thinking baby, but it's said lazily, so not baby, it's baby. the a gets pronounced like an e ??

Q = questions (what are the questions they’re always asking?)

he def asks lots of random questions. mostly 'would you rather' or 'if you had to pick one' - those kinda questions

R = rainy day (what do they like to do on a rainy day?)

def movies on the couch kinda day/ other homely activities. OR you guys go out into the rain and have a cute walk around

S = support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?)

he's super supportive and very encouraging, even over tiny tiny things - like you send him a text saying that you did food shopping and he replies like you've just cured an illness, but he's not sarcastic about it (that often) he's just a hypeman, like a puppy in human form

T = talking (what do they like to talk about?)

anything and everything. def think he's the type to have verbal diarrhoea. blabbers on about things when you're trying to sleep, or make witty comments about things you see. often you have to kiss him to shut him up

U = understanding (how well do they know their partner? are they empathetic?)

super understanding and in tune with you. he wasn't always like that, but over time he's learnt and got better at it. very empathetic and sincere towards you

V = value (how important is the relationship to them? what is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

EXTREMELY!! you'd be the only special thing to him. he loves many other things, but not in the way he loves you

W = wedding (when, where, and how do they propose?)

I do think he can be a bit flashy, but would refrain from that for the wedding. he wants it to be a huge celebration with all of his and your family - like a huge party. would be spring/summertime. maybe somewhere exotic ??

X = XOXO (how affectionate are they? in public/in private)

BAHA very. very handsy, and big on pda!! not afraid to snog you in public, or hug you in a queue

so much more affectionate in private, my god. big physical touch kinda dude

Y = yearning (how well do they cope when they’re separated from their S/O?)

not good, not great, at all. texts you constantly, calls you whenever he can, video calls you at night - will have to stay on the phone as you get ready for bed. probs likes to stay on video call overnight just so he can feel close to you

Z = zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?)

yes, absolutely. he hates to lose you, so if that means admitting his wrongdoings, he'll do that

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

pietro taglist: @astermath @thewinterv @earth-elemental18 @lunnnix @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @randomawesomeperson102 @queerponcho @selfryed @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @mrsbarnesxxx @honestly-who-even-is-this @simplyreflected @apxtowiris

#request #pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff headcanon #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro maximoff x you #pietro x reader #sfw alphabet

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sourxcherri · 3 months

Text

NSFW Alphabet (Choso)

Minors Do Not Interact. Minors and Ageless Blogs will be blocked.

Sexual Content Below:

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Choso is at your beck and call after sex and will not rest until you're fully taken care of, even if you fall asleep while he's cleaning up and taking care of you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He hasn't really thought about it but he would say his shoulders. He loves all of you and can't pick a specific part.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Unless you tell him to otherwise, he's finishing inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He has gotten off while watching you sleep before. He didn't want to wake you up to take care of him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Not very experienced and needs some guidance, but is more than willing to do whatever you ask him to.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Missionary when he's feeling particularly needy, but also likes letting you have full control when you ride him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Not very goofy at all, he's too focused on making you feel good.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) A bit unruly down there, but if you ask him to he will trim it down.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Does his best to be as romantic as possible.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Once he found out how good it can feel he'd get himself off at least once a day. Once he starts dating you he rarely touches himself unless he's desperate.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Breeding kink, marking (bites/scratches/hickeys,) Praise Kink (receiving,) Body worship (on you.)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Your bedroom, and maybe other areas of your home. The thought of doing something in public and getting caught does not appeal to him at all. He's possessive and the thought of someone else seeing you like that makes him jealous.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Fleeting touches, praising him, and playing with his hair. Also "accidentally" grinding on him while cuddling.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He won't share you, so threesomes are no. He also doesn't like to degrade you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Choso will beg to go down on you. It is his favorite activity and he can think of no sweeter taste. He swears some days he can cum untouched just from tasting you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) His default is slow and sensual because he wants to make you feel as good as possible and worship you. You have to ask him to be rougher with you unless you've managed to work him up from teasing him all day.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He prefers full proper sex unless he's really really worked up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He's kind of vanilla when it comes to experimenting, so unless you're the one suggesting something, he probably wouldn't even think to try it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He has blood manipulation, he can go for as many rounds as you want.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He doesn't have any of his own, but will use yours on you if you ask him nicely.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He's more likely the one to be teased than to do the teasing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Choso has no shame in how loud he is, and will not hold back his moans and whimpers. Why should he hide how good he feels? Will also do everything in his power to get you to be loud too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He's surprisingly not embarrassed by much for someone with as little experience as he has. He also has zero issues with period sex.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) He's about average length but is quite a bit thicker. You have to do some extra prep to fit him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) So high. He would go several times a day if you let him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Once you're taken care of after sex, the second he curls up with you he's out. Post coital cuddling is mandatory for him.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #choso x reader #choso smut #cherri writes #jjk alphabet

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fuck-customers · 3 months

Note

Just a protip: if you placed an online order and it hasn't been completed yet, and you are in the store (why?? Just fucking grab your shit yourself. Don't clog the online order system for unnecessary orders) and see an employee working on online orders, JUST FUCKING LEAVE THEM ALONE! YOUR ORDER WILL BE READY WHEN IT'S READY!

Was doing bopis on a particularly busy bopis day. It was about an hour before the store closed and I had 30+ online orders to do and I was working on them alone at the time. (My store is a medium sized store and we don't sell food, medicine, or essential items, so having unfinished orders at closing is not the end of the world, as long as we're actively working on them- customersabsolutely can live without them)

This woman noticed that I was walking around with bags for items and figured out that I was doing online orders. (But of course did not consider that I was doing them ALONE)

The first thing she did was honestly perfectly fine. She asked if I was doing online orders and asked if her order was in the pile + how long it might take to be completed. So I told her I had around 30 and her order was lower in the list, so I most likely wouldn't be able to complete it before closing. She then asked if I could just skip to her order. I said no, I was not allowed to (literally-I got in trouble with my boss for skipping around and not doing bopis in the order that we received them....who the actual fuck cares, but whatever) but if she didn't want to wait, she was more than welcome to grab her items and pay at the register and just make sure to give one of us employees her order number and we'll cancel it so she doesn't get double-charged. We'll even honor any online coupons or prices, so she doesn't have to pay more than she would've online.

These seem like perfectly reasonable options, no? Pop quiz time! What do you think she did? A. Left the store with the intention to pick up her order when it was ready the following day? Or B. Grabbed her items herself and went to the register like I suggested?

Time's up! What did everyone guess?

No matter what you guessed, you were wrong! Because the real answer is more unhinged that either of those.

What she did was C. FOLLOW ME AROUND THE FUCKING STORE AS I WAS DOING OTHER ORDERS, REFUSING TO STOP AFTER I ASKED HER MULTIPLE TIMES!!

Joke's on her, though. She pissed me off, so I purposely stalled and delayed getting to her order as long as possible. I took an unneeded bathroom break, answered every call for backup from my coworkers, even though the manager was available, took extra long to answer other customers' questions when they interrupted me, whatever I could to stall. I managed to perfectly time it so that I finished the order before hers at closing time, then I finished her order 15 minutes after closing time, so she'd have to come back tomorrow no matter what. Dick move? Yes. Do I care? No.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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dilfguzzler · 9 months

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john price headcanons!

back with my favourite old man! mr. sir captain john price

no pronouns, mention of lingerie as clothing so i'm going to say gn!reader

requests: open

A: Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

very affectionate behind closed doors. he's not big on pda and wouldn't be all over you in public (unless he's a bit drunk and feeling clingy)

but at home, in your own little space, he loves being close to you. he's loves to just sit on the couch, you reading or on your phone, him watching the match or doing paperwork. he loves to drag your legs over his lap, feeling your presence just knowing you're there spending quality time together

B: Breath (What can their s/o do to take their breath away)

taking care of his boys. he was hesitant to bring you anywhere near his work, but he and his lads are as close as family and he spends the majority of his time with them, so it felt wrong to not introduce you all.

he didn't expect for you all to get along so well. he loves when you invite them for dinner, or make them drinks and snacks when they come over to watch the football. you even put up with their noisy cheering and for that he's very grateful

(he's particularly taken aback with how close you and simon are. he wasn't sure he'd ever see anyone who could take him out of his shell a bit but you two have a great bond.)

C: Cuddles (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

YES. Mr. man is a big cuddler. Especially at night, he will literally sleep on top of you. He claims it's for safety but you think it's because he's a big, ol' koala bear who can't bare to not be snuggled up

D: Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

I think he's quite the traditionalist and wants the whole nine yards of marriage and kids. he doesn't know so much if kids are in his future, but he definitely wants to marry you.

E: Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

a lot. he knows that it's a lot to expect someone to put up with a partner who's gone so frequently so he is always doing his best when you are together. expect lots of effort and love because he needs to show you how thankful he is for you

F: Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

he does what you do for him. provide support in whatever form that looks like. time spent together doing mindless stuff, talking it out, reassuring you, cuddling you until you are overheating, taking a nap. literally anything he can do to help you, he will do.

G: Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

he doesn't ever expect anything from you. you already give him so much.

he definitely gives me practical vibes, in that most of his gifts are things you need. you want a new mixer for the kitchen? ok, no probs. you have a new hobby and need stuff for it? here you go.

some sexy as shit lingerie? well, i suppose that's more for him. but whatever

H: Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

big hugger. and he's quiet as fuck, so when he sneaks up on you in the kitchen and wraps you up in a bear hug, he gives you an extra tight one to apologise. even though he'll do it again lol

he loves hugs

I: Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

he's a romantic old timey guy. loves a romantic dinner. loves kisses and hugs and i love you's. he just loves you and has no issues with showing you

J: Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

i think so, but not from a place of mistrust of you, but of other people. i think he's just extra affectionate and more outwardly possessive. like he'll pull you into his side and kiss your cheek while eyeing up the other person

K: Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

yes good kisser, his beard was a big adjustment at first though because damn can it poke you. but he loves kissing you, could spend his whole day kissing you.

big on good morning kisses, loves a bit of a make-out session before you go to sleep.

L: Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say it or show it?)

i think he says it when he's like leaving the house, if he's missed you after a day at work, before going to sleep. he definitely prefers showing it though. he's always trying to find new ways to show you how much he loves you

M: Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

yes he wants to marry you. he doesn't care about what kind of ceremony, so much as he cares about who's there. he obviously needs the boys there, and his close family and anyone you want there. he doesn't want a huge wedding though, definitely only those closest to you both.

he also wants a bit of a party after, just so he can show you off

N: Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

he likes nights at the local pub the most. they do a banging roast and he likes to have a few drinks with you just catching up together.

O: Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do for/with their s/o?)

he HATES shopping. can't stand going around the shops, surrounded by people and crap on the shelves. it bothers him. so he leaves all the food shopping to you, and if he needs new clothes or anything he leaves that to you.

if you want to drag him to the shops, he expects lots of loving in return for making him suffer through that

P: Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

yes i think so. he doesn't exactly seem playful on the outside, but he's a big dry-ass, dad joke maker. also, god does he like to tickle you a bit just to hear you laugh. he just can't resist it

Q: Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

yes. he really values your opinion on things, especially on things you know more about than him. he loves to talk to you, ask you things and have you ask him things. it's one of his favourite things, just having chats with you

R: Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

i think he would like to be a planner, but with how randomly his job can take him away and how often he isn't sure when he'll be back, things end up being more spontaneous than he likes.

S: Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

as said before, he tends to sleep on top of you for "safety". however, if it's too hot, you will sleep on your own sides of the bed with something touching whether it be hands or knees or backs. always wants to be touching you

T: Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

he trusts you the same amount he trusts his boys. he has no doubt in your trust and knows he can trust you with anything and everything

U: Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)

his beard.

V: Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

i think it takes him awhile. it's not a lack of trust, but more so that he's a captain in the SAS, he doesn't often get the chance to be vulnerable so he doesn't really know how to let that side of him show.

he's most vulnerable after a hard mission, or a nightmare. he just wants you near, to know you're safe when he's like this. he kind of just has to work his way through it, but has to know that you're there

W: Wild Card (Random Headcanon)

he loves woodworking. like if you need a new shelf or something made, he will do it in his free time. your current kitchen table was made by him, and it's the most gorgeous kitchen table you've ever seen

X: X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

he'd be calm and reasonable. his job doesn't allow time for panic and that is how he functions in his personal life. he would assess the situation and what needs to be done, and do it.

Y: Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

he's a neat and clean guy, it's trained into him, so if you're messy that can get to him a bit. he likes things in order

i wouldn't say it bothers you, but damn can this man eat. like if you try to make a meal to last two days, bad news, he will eat it all. it's kind of fascinating.

Z: Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

he's crazy about you and he knows you feel the same about him

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