#b rambles

[stevesbipanic]

I hope everyone is having a wonderful beginning of pride month! This is my first pride since coming out and I'd like to share a little bit of my own perspective this pride.

I'm 22 and I only came out a few months ago. I've been super lucky and all of my friends and family have been super accepting. The worst part about coming out has just been me.

My whole life I thought I was straight, I didn't have many crushes (see later learning about demisexuality as well) and any that I did have were very normal cis guys from school. I never had any reason to think I wasn't straight and that was perfectly ok.

My friend group has always leaned on the queerer side. Most of them were out by the time we graduated high school or shortly after and all of them talked about how they always knew that it was always there.

I've known what pansexual is since I was 14 and I'd never thought of it as a label for me, people were pretty but that was it to me, I liked guys.

There's a guilt you feel sometimes when you come out later than your peers. Whether it be like me and you're still young or years down the line. You're still just as valid but there's that part of you that feels guilty for not knowing sooner.

It's my first pride and I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because every year before now pride was for my friends with me as the respectful ally following their lead. I've never even gone to a pride parade, always seeing that as something they got to do, something they deserved to do and I didn't want to intrude.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

I hope one day there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I'm just faking these feelings so I can be included, that it's ok I didn't always know but for now there is.

I'm grateful to everyone celebrating pride with me this year, my partner, my friends both here and out in the world and my family.

Thank you for reminding me I'm valid even when I can't always see it.

Happy pride everyone, especially if this is your first one.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜

#b talks #pride month #pansexual #first pride #coming out late #b rambles #pride #demisexual

[quarantineddreamer]

..

#off to get my haircut #plz wish my psyche luck lol #personal #b rambles

[hydrangeawise]

Hoshikuzu Telepath EP5 went by so fast! I didn't really catch the eyecatch and was honestly so confused when it ended earlier than I anticipated.

The whole episode was a delight from start to finish; I love how the group tried to charm Matataki with their combined efforts, and I laughed especially hard when she actually drank the potato soup although she was very adamant that she would not take leftovers from Yu. (It was a whole HAH GOTCHA laugh)

I also laughed so much about them going to register their group as a club because on one hand, Matataki likes to think that she's so well-organized and handles things so well - which is true, she is all that. BUT not when it comes to school and school related things. (I also really really am coming to enjoy the way Haruno and her worry in their own way about Umika and her social anxiety; especially Matataki who's very reluctant about it too).

And honestly, the school camp situation is very fun and we were all very proud of Umika for being able to say her part during the group work, but I CANNOT stop thinking about Matataki and Haruno sort of walking in on Umika and Yu doing their foreheadpathy thing and treating it as if they almost caught them making out (which is a very plausible thought! I mean, the whole set-up? The music? The gestures? That was peak romantic atmosphere they had going on!) And the way Yu and Umika did their little forehead thing when the fireworks went off, and they were once again holding hands? Yeah, you guessed it, romance!

I also want to appreciate the little scene at the end when Yu threatened to do a little foreheadpathy on Matataki (I do believe that Matataki still thinks that they were actually about to kiss, I'm not sure she would believe in something like foreheadpathy) but then went to Umika instead. Because that was funny, but also very cute. All in all, solid episode. In terms of character development, plot development, and relationship development.

#b rambles #hoshikuzu telepath #stardust telepath #Yu also reminded me of Nadeshiko from Yuru Camp during this episode

[alloutofgoddesses]

@indecentpause tagged me to share my last line!!

I haven’t creatively written anything in literal years but when I’m hyperfixating on something sometimes lines will pop into my head & I like them enough to write them down so here’s this one

“The thought comes to him, unbidden. She’s Jason’s age. He firmly shuts that train of thought down before it can go any further.” - POV: Bruce Wayne

Tagging @lesbianlotties and @mecharose

#I do not write a lot of fanfic! most things are just a line or a paragraph and never turn into anything more so I hoard them like dragons #hopefully one day I’ll figure out where they go #tag game #b rambles

[tlcartist]

If you’re a neurodivergent creator of the “I will listen to this song/ASMR/soundtrack repeatedly while I work” variety what’s your go to? My current go to is ambient noise/soundtrack from Majula in Dark Souls 2 or Firelink Shrine from Dark Souls 3.

#b rambles #it’s just so safe and calming for me #with a touch of melancholy for spice #anyway give me soundtrack refs if you have any pls

[ladylooch]

At the coffee shop this morning. The amount of men that come in, clearly just rolled out of bed, pulled on whatever sweats were on the ground, grabbing coffee for two to go is the perfect inspo for me and honestly goals. Like yes, please let me stay here in bed and you go get us coffee. I know it's simple or basic, but having someone who does those little things actually adds up to the big things.

It's giving all the AU boys too.

#b rambles

[ladespeinada]

i went to an apartment viewing and then decided on a whim to watch bottoms so i looked up times, booked it to the closest theatre with the earliest time slot, and when i was there, i realised that the whole day’s viewings were basically sold out. and that’s really fucking great, i love that, it is opening weekend so i should’ve known better. but i really forgot, on the drive over, that there’s limited space for spontaneity in los angeles. you have to plan things in advance, sometimes months, because things sell out and it’s very frustrating because even if you’re trying to be spontaneous around your existing plans, you’re sort of stuck geographically because the city is so big!!!!!

#b rambles #i love this city with my whole heart but it’s frustrating to be here sometimes!!!! #i feel like the only times you can be truly spontaneous here is with retail which is so fucking grim

[turtleneckshiv]

roman is like. sex is more vulnerable for him than the average person plus he has less capacity for vulnerability. then he’s got tabitha, probably the safest person he’s been with, and she knows about his issues and still wants to try, and finding that was the first hurdle but then..sex in that situation is worse because you’re acutely aware that the other person is probably just thinking about how they need to take care of you which doesn’t feel good at all. so it’s all just a fucking ouroboros of vulnerability. and it feels so fucking stupid to want something that any “normal” idiot can have but he just can’t. and then i’m gonna skip a couple steps but we get how gerri and the desire to be hurt ties in there.

#b rambles #progressively more deranged succession posting #i’m so sorry y’all i just #yeah

[spagheddiediaz]

the joe and sophie divorce is hitting so close to home for me bc like

to the outside world they were great and fine and so many people are shocked but you really really don’t just wake up one day and decide to break up??? it’s such a long complicated road and the right thing isn’t always clear but in your heart you absolutely know and wow

but like the people closest to you??? they know. like when we broke up the people closest to me were like “about time” but people that only saw us from a distance were SHOOOOOK but

what has my jaw on the ground rn is that i just SAW SOPHIE TURNER at the jonas brothers yankee stadium tour and she was like 5 rows behind me smiling and dancing and this was the weekend my ex boyfriend and i broke up (officially) and it’s like a full circle moment for me here???????? there is a SIGN in here somewhere sophie if ur gay too lmk

#b talks #well #b rambles #this is a doozy and i’m tired #but for real #i absolutely broke up w him in my head like 6 months ago which is why i have no emotions towards him whatsoever #anyway haha sophie is single. i am single. :)))))

[stevesbipanic]

Authors that make an ao3 link so I can follow along instead of making a very long tag list that most of the time I feel bad asking to be added to, they're my favs.

#im the kinda gal that waits til its all written to read it #simply bc theres too many things im following #b rambles

[quarantineddreamer]

I think a natural consequence of being chronically ill/immunocompromised is becoming more…germ opposed. (Im not gonna say hypochondriac but I mean yeah, I guess that).

Anyways I hate how it forces me to constantly be on my toes about getting sick and how in turn…I get perceived/treated like I’m overreacting and ruining things (example; visiting family rn and I can hear my father in law hacking up a lung and now I’m sitting here like..fuuuuck I don’t wanna leave the room! I don’t wanna get sick! I just started a new med, I’m in as little pain as I have been in nearly two months and I’ve worked so hard to get here and i don’t want to get sick)

But my FIL is also the type of guy who will be weird about me feeling this way (uncomfortable/anxious). Plus there is supposed to be a gathering at the house tonight where he has invited a friend who he’s proclaimed multiple times to be anti-vax 🙃

Anyways why am I writing all this out? Who tf knows I can’t exactly talk about it freely rn and do don’t want it to live in my brain where it’s gnawing at me from the inside out

#chronically yours #(don’t even get me started on the marital drama in this house hold) #(not mine but) #(I think I’m gonna get a stomach ulcer from all the awkward this weekend) #I just wanna be a good spouse and supportive partner and I really do love my in laws but #selfishly? I want my fucking health back and all this is just a lot 🥲 #b rambles #personal #plz ignore me and this scream into the void #it probably all sounds very stupid anyways #like these are not real problems

[hydrangeawise]

It's Hoshikuzu Telepath day (for me and my watch buddy anyway)! So here are my thoughts on EP6!

Matataki is so funny. And I'm saying this as gently as possible because I adore her, and on some level I can very much understand the way in which she approaches and reacts to social situations. Especially when it comes to rockets (and I assume on a meta level also close contact with other girls because let's face it, she's very aware of how some situations look extremely like romantic romantic closeness. I'm not going to write an essay on that one though. Yet.) and getting praised for her skills and knowledge.

And yes, we did laugh out loud in the chat when she very much avoided the "indirect kiss". (Honestly, I love Matataki so much! Someone do a live slug reaction of her face when Umika and Yu do their forehead thing!*)

I did not expect for the girls to meet Kei again, honestly, but that was such a fun meeting! And I very neat way to set up specific goals for the hobby club. The whole scene where the girls starting building their little rockets before, and where Matataki did lots of explaining and math reminded me of Yuru Camp - which is great, since Yuru Camp is one of my no. 1 comfort animes. It had the same charm! I can't wait to see what they come up with to participate in the competition :D

Honarary mention goes out to the teacher who still has to pay off her student loans, but who bringing much excitement to the whole thing (I'm making big eyes emojis at whoever it was she was meeting/looking for). She's very lovely.

*Okay so: I have thoughts. I have thoughts on how other girls at their school were going "Oh, it's the forehead girls" as if they've been doing that a lot and people saw and just shrugged their shoulders. It's such an interesting thing; it's also so fun how it is now Matataki who is all "please don't do this in public" when at first it seemed like Haruno would be the first to shake her head about it. Ah man, I have many thoughts but not for a ramble post.

#b rambles #hoshikuzu telepath #stardust telepath #matataki is a small dog who keeps challenging dogs much larger than her #also I just remembered that whole scene were Matataki has the bruise on her face because her father threw a wrench #and that is REALLY NOT SITTING WELL WITH ME AT ALL

[sunflowerxthoughts]

How do you approach someone about possibly stealing content??? It’s the second time I post this because I’m a small account and don’t want any drama with anyone but at the same time it’s my work😩 someone has any advice?

#b rambles #send help #the marauders #the marauders x reader

[alloutofgoddesses]

Starting The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, will report back when my life is irrevocably changed

#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #b rambles

[tlcartist]

I can't stop thinking about that "why would you like a villainous character??" post that's been going around.

Because like, aside from the obvious and superficial answer of villain = hot, I just find a well written villain to be extremely interesting. Villains are compelling because they show us the worst possible parts of ourselves. A good villain is malicious not just for the sake of it, but because for whatever reason they believe their cause is just. A villain can be misguided, prejudiced, or just plain WRONG but so are regular people. Villains serve as cautionary tales. They're reminders that, at the end of the day, under the right circumstances anyone is capable of cruelty. And more importantly, they show us that people can change and grow.

Obviously that's not to say that all villains are redeemable or should even try to redeem themselves of course, more so that even a malevolent character can have someone or something that they cherish. A good villain follows the same guidelines for a good protagonist. They're nuanced, imperfect, contradict themselves, and are hypocritical just like real people.

The rise in the mentality of "liking problematic media or characters = condoning their actions" separates us from the whole point of storytelling in the first place. Fiction allows us to explore complex emotions, experiences, and concepts that we may not otherwise be able to irl all within a a controlled environment. We get to experience the highs and lows of being human on our own terms which is often not the case in our day to day lives. I'm not saying you need to become a villain simp or excuse their actions (far from it!), but what I am saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss people who can find value in these characters. I'll say it again, villains act like a mirror and reflect the darkest parts of ourselves. Maybe it's time to take a look and see what you find.

#character analysis #writing #villains #also no tea no shade to the op of that post #this isn't meant as like an attack on a specific person or anything #I've just been rewatching a couple of series with some really nuanced villains and it's been on my mind #I've typed the word villain so much that it no longer feels like a word #b rambles

[ladylooch]

Wow.. Nico is just really not giving any signs of life right now.

#b rambles