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kujo1597 · 22 days

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It’s been a bit! But I suppose that’s normal for these. I did have a good reason for it taking so long this time. In the first episode recap or whatever you’d like to call these posts I said that I started doing them to get back into writing Unbreakable. Well! I’m done chapter 6!!! 🥳 Woo! Well… mostly done it. I have to like, write at least a couple verses for a song Stormer wrote and do my usual week of proofreading before I post it. But! I’m 99% done it!!!

Let’s celebrate my new spare time with an episode of Jem.

I had literally no idea what this episode’s title was. It completely escaped me for some reason. Why am I so confused by that?

Kimber’s my favourite character! How did I forget the episode with her name in it? I think the actual answer is that there are a couple episodes where Kimber’s rebelled and those ones were a little more of a meaningful rebellion. Especially the one that really kicked off my favourite Jem ship.

Oh by the way. I actually forgot that the last episode ended on the yacht being on a crash course with an oil tanker. I think part of why I don’t feel too bad about how densely packed my Jem fanfics tend to be is because the show itself covers a lot in each episode.

Let's get to it.

So the yacht almost crashes into the taker ship, Danielle’s crew manages to save the ship. Although the party guests get a little thrown around.

Jem included!

So… Is this how boats work? I grew up in a landlocked province; I didn’t even see the ocean until I was in my mid-20s. My family would go to a lake but it was small, probably too small for a speeding yacht. I don’t know boat physics.

Anyway, Rio pulls Jem back onboard.

And here is our first kiss between Jem and Rio. Jerrica got caught up in the moment and gave her boyfriend a kiss on the lips. But of course she’s Jem right now and Rio to his credit, pulled away and said that it’s wrong to cheat on Jerrica with Jem.

He’s not bad in these first few episodes!

With the crisis averted everybody makes sure Jem and Rio are okay, then they see the Misfits taunting them from their little speed boat. And Stormer does a Flim Flam as hell laugh. Sorry Sue Blu I love The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo so I associate this style of laugh with the lovable scam artist. Now that everybody’s nice and frustrated with the uninvited guests they decide that they need to start filming Jem’s first music video as soon as possible. Anthony says he’ll direct it, and the countess offers to fund the whole thing and fly everybody to Paris.

Kimber wanted to do the whole thing the very next day. But Jem being Jerrica is like, “Sounds great, but we need to actually record our album first.”

Now we cut to Starlight Mansion and the girls. Krissie says that Jem and The Holograms will be leaving in two days. Deirdre is pretty into the idea of Paris but Ashley sure isn’t. She’s pretty darn bitter about how everybody is talking so much about Jem.

Lela asks Ashley how much money she’s made for the Honor Jar (We’re almost done with this thing. So far I haven’t spelled it Honour Jar once.) and Ashley presents the $30 she got off of Stormer. But Lela explains the rules of the jar, you must say how you earned the money because the work is as important as the cash.

Ashley has a pretty understandable reaction. She’s new and feeling unwelcome. She’s been getting criticized a lot lately and reached her breaking point. Ashley throws the money to the floor and storms out.

Yeah she didn’t earn the money in a way that would be seen as “acceptable” but I feel like at this point Ashley feels like nothing she’ll do will be good enough for the people in this foster home. And who knows what her previous one was like. This could be something she’s been dealing with for years for all we know.

Time to watch Jem and The Holograms record their first album. The song playing is Twilight in Paris, I’ll say more about it after the actual music video.

Rio asks the band to tighten up the song and asks them if they can keep going. Jem tells him that they’ll keep at it until they nail the song.

Then we get an immediate comparison to The Misfits who are recording their album. Eric tells them to pick up the tempo, Stormer enthusiastically agrees to work at it. But Pizzazz and Roxy have very little interest in honing their craft.

Then Pizzazz complains to Eric that he’s not flying her group to a place like Paris. And Eric tells her that he can only embezzle so much money from Starlight Music before he owns it.

But he does fly Zipper to Paris in order to sabotage Jem’s music video.

After a quick pan over Paris we see Anthony going over the steps for the music video with Jem. Kimber gets jealous of Jem and storms off.

She starts heading towards Zipper and her first kidnapping of the show. But Rio catches her in time. And well

is pretty rough with Kimber.

Kimber’s frustrated and tells Rio to not play big brother with her. And then after a little fight she goes to tell Rio that Jem’s not so great because she’s actually Jerrica. Shana and Aja stop Kimber right in time.

Kimber points out that Rio has the right to know. And she’s right! And Shana agrees with her! But also points out that this is Jerrica’s love life so she should be the one to tell Rio.

After that scene Zipper looks up at the top of a skyscraper and sees the gargoyles and he hatches a plan.

I’m fond of the song Twilight in Paris. Not because it’s a great song. It’s really not, the music video is kinda neat. No. I’m fond of this song because the lyrics feel like Kimber was scrambling to think of stuff that has to do with Paris, and France in general. And I just love the mental image of that. Kimber scribbling in a notebook everything she knows about Paris and coming up with only four things, the Eiffel Tower, City of Lights, a location Jem sings that I can’t understand, and France being a romantic country. And that’s it. That’s all Kimber could come up with in a day. It’s wonderful.

After the music video we see Zipper’s plan in action. What is this plan?

Why crush Jem of course! Literally!

The gargoyle misses the mark though. Zipper is very good at his job.

Rio gives Jem a tight hug after her close call and she asks him to never let go.

Kimber’s not dumb and knows exactly who sent Zipper.

Time to get an update on the Ashley subplot. She runs away from home and to a bar frequented by the Misfits.

Stormer likes kids. I did a post about it. She sees Ashley at the bar, leans down to get closer to eye level and asks Ashley for her name, and if she’s in trouble.

Pizzazz leads Ashley into the bar and I highly doubt it’s because she likes kids. She probably just saw an opportunity to get at Jem. Or Jerrica. At this point she probably dislikes them equally.

Now we see the Misfits giving Ashley some life lessons. These lessons are the opposite of what Jerrica’s been teaching her girls. Be rude, be pushy, never thank people.

Back to the stars of the show, intended stars anyway, and they’re discussing things with Danielle. Kimber’s still jealous of Jem. I do like how Danielle calls Kimber “my petite.” It’s pretty cute. I think the countess likes Kimber.

After getting into the airport, whatever section this is, I’ve never been on a plane, Jem runs off to change. And we get our first instance of Rio’s pissiness. Aja reminds him that Jerrica is supposed to meet them at the airport and he blows past her to be all mopey. Jerrica’s disappointed that Rio took off.

Aja promises her that taking a look around town will cheer her up. However...

*laughs hysterically*

Oh, sorry. I just forgot how shitty this poster looks.

Um.

Okay, so while Jem and The Holograms were in Paris The Misfits were busy putting up posters advertising them. Or maybe Eric hired a bunch of people because Pizzazz and Roxy couldn’t be bothered. Either way, their faces are plastered all over town.

Song time! This is a pretty nice song complete with convenient hole for Pizzazz to climb out of. We see Jem and The Holograms along with some Starlight Girls running around town trying to hang up all their posters and just advertise their band in general. But they’re being sabotaged the entire time. And one of the saboteurs is Ashley.

Kimber sees this and she is not happy.

She confronts Eric in his office where he is writing directly onto his desk.

And Eric starts being creepy as hell! Stop it! Jesus. If Jerrica’s 18 then Kimber’s only 15.

Eric tries to butter up Kimber by saying that as the songwriter she deserves far more credit than she’s getting, that she should be star instead of Jem. And even offers to sign Kimber on without Jem. She doesn’t outright say no to the offer but she does leave.

Now to Starlight Mansion where we see Aja and Shana reading magazines, Kimber playing guitar, and Jerrica being bushed from all the work they’re been doing. Then the phones rings.

It’s Lindsey Pierce! She asks to speak to Jem and after filling her sisters in Jerrica speaks to Lindsey in the exact same tone of voice she normally speaks in and says, “This is Jem.” I can excuse Lindsey for not really caring because Jerrica is currently a nobody. But it’s just very funny.

Lindsey says that she only wants to interview Jem and she’ll do something with the Holograms at a later date. But when Jerrica tells Kimber that only Jem is invited to this interview Kimber yells and storms out declaring that she’s going to go solo.

Hey look, Kimber’s first cry of the show. Not counting the funeral. *adds this to the Kimber rarely cries around others pile* Don't worry I won't call attention to every time a character cries. I'm just putting these into my crying folder. That is a totally normal sentence I just typed.

After Aja and Shana try to comfort Jerrica she decided to make a phone call to Lindsey to insist that the entire band be on her show. And Lindsey doesn’t mind one bit.

With that mess sorted out it’s now time to sort out a different mess. Getting Kimber back. Jerrica knows her baby sister well and figures that Kimber’s driving aimlessly while listening to her favourite radio station. And heads there in the Starlight Express to ask the DJ to broadcast a message to Kimber. Jerrica figures she’d be too unknown to get any air time but Jem definitely would be allowed on the air.

They deliver their message and Kimber hears it and returns home saying that with no Jem there is no Holograms.

Rio pulls up and calls out to the group that they’ve got 15 minutes until air time. Jerrica tells her sisters to take the roadster while she rids with Rio in his van.

There’s a lot of vans in this show.

During the drive Rio tells Jerrica that he can’t be Jem’s manager anymore. That he’s afraid he’ll hurt Jerrica. And she insists that Rio keeps working for them because they all need him and he’s irreplaceable. Rio does give in because it does mean a lot to Jerrica that he stays a part of the team.

He did not appreciate Jerrica being pulled off to do more work for Jem, as shown by him shaking his head. Part of the problem probably was the fact that Jerrica got yanked out of their hug.

Live interview time! The Misfits see this and are not happy. They run out of whatever building they're in to put a stop to it.

So, before I started this episode summary I tried very hard to remember which Misfits song played in this episode. There’s a reason I couldn’t remember! There wasn’t one!

I like this song a lot. I find myself singing it on occasion. To be honest I generally prefer Misfits music and those are the songs that tend to get stuck in my head. But there are some Holograms ones I find myself humming and singing.

Boop.

What was I doing? Oh yeah, the interview!

At some point the Misfits picked Ashley up before arriving at the TV station. Last time we saw them they were hanging out in one of their houses. I think. It's unclear where they were.

Well, trying to get in with the Misfits name didn’t work so Pizzazz sent Ashley in. And Ashley distracts the guard by kicking him really hard in the shin.

Lindsey asks Jem and a really good question. Where did the name Jem and The Holograms come from?

I suppose an easy answer would be to say that it sounds cool and futuristic.

But before Jem can think of that explanation the interview gets interrupted by The Misfits. They’re their usual pushy selves and Jem stands up to them and insults them. Good for her! I like how this show isn’t afraid to have the protagonist be rude right back.

A quick tangent because my brain is funny. I listened to the Jem audiobooks a while back and was amazed by how completely rude Jem is in some of them. Not because she was being rude to Pizzazz, but because she was being rude to everybody. The show strikes a nice balance. Jerrica does get more patient with Pizzazz post-syndication but not a lot more patient, and in season 3 all that patience is gone. With good reason!

Back to the show, Lindsey sensing a brawl on her hands asks the station to cut to commercial. She informs the Misfits that she was planning to invite them onto the show for an interview too, but now she doesn’t want to.

The Misfits demand equal time and that they get to play a song so they take the instruments on stage. But Jem isn’t having any of this and pulls Aja’s guitar out of Stormer’s hands.

Lindsey’s had it. She asks the men on the set to escort these ladies off of the set.

youtube

And we get our first slap of show. Pizzazz tells Lindsey that her show isn’t classy enough for The Misfits.

Rio is one of the people dragging the Misfits away. He grabs Pizzazz and she makes an offer to Rio, that he should work for her. And Rio turns her down. So Pizzazz elbows Rio in the gut sending him careening off into some equipment which causes a domino effect putting Jem’s life at risk.

A fire breaks out and that is where the episode ends.

A lot of fire in this show.

And well, now you see what I mean when I say that Jem is a densely packed show. A lot happens in it. Part of why these first five episodes are like this is likely the nature of the original release of them. But wow, this is a lot to take in. Imagine being a kidling trying to keep up, watching the shorts once a week. What if you missed one? You’d be so lost!

The next one of these should get done a lot sooner than my current pace. I'd like to finish the opening five episodes before I finish writing that dreaded wedding I promised.

#Jem and the Holograms #Kujo Watches Jem #I was originally not going to put these in the main tag but they seem to be pretty well received so I'll keep doing it

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autisticempathydaemon · 1 year

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for the match ups- this is such a lovely idea <3 thank you!

Oh man there are so many! but the main one I would say I keep going back to is Clean Slated State by The Altogether. The first verse always hits me because it is very theatrical in the references to the ghost light and how each actor will take a character differently. The real kicker of it though is the last verse where it flips to “I don’t have someone. But I want someone. I need someone, I need a new me ‘cause I’ve got two or three and they won’t let me fulfill my clean slated state.” Purely for the fact that sometimes it just feels like I am just acting my way through life- not really having one set “me” aCherrynd so I constantly am changing myself for others. It could also be seen as there are other people in life pushing their own agendas against me, never allowing me to be who I am, never allowing me that fresh start.

Two!

I do not 😬

Okay so- I would play pretend on the playground in kindergarten with some friends that we were this pack of cheetahs? Leopards? I don’t remember, but they were big cats! So I had… An imaginary friend/pet Big Cat that would come along with me everywhere.

Melatonin gummy and usually an episode of The Adventure Zone (Go to episodes are any in the Crystal Kingdom or The Eleventh Hour Episode 8) or VODs of various streamers or my little comfort collection of RedactedAudios 😌

If I had to change my name, I would probably go with the one I use as a shorthand online. I have gone by it for years and I honestly just… Like it a lot? It has no familial connections, simple, and just feels nice.

Anton’s first audio. The one where he is doing work on Asset. I put that on when I need to focus for a solid 30 minutes, need some simple background noise, need something to help ease me to sleep, or just calm down. It is a very nice little simple audio that scratches my brain just right between the soft grumbles and sound design of it all.

Ollie. I enjoyed the silly little game rambles! But in my brain he is just There and that is all. (At least when I remember he is there)

How to Train Your Dragon movie franchise. I used to watch the first one on my little iPod (5th Gen) and got to the point where I would put it on, close my eyes, and picture it in my head as it played. Still can to this day! I just love the silly dragons and relate maybe a little too much to Hiccup. The third movie came after I lost someone important to me and I sobbed like a baby on my couch.

Huxley. I would love for him to be my best friend.

Usually it will be the thing I am currently fixated on. So lately it has been Dungeons & Daddies, Fantasy High, and Genshin Impact.

It was Kum & Go before I moved, but now it is Rhodes. Usually either a Cherry Dr. Pepper or Peach Peach Tea (snack is usually wildberry gummy lifesavers c: )

Not a playlist really, but a couple of albums! Fences by The Altogether and So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy. If I had to say a playlist though, I would have to say the little playlist I made while writing “journal entries” as my Monster of the Week character to give to another character. It is more on the sad side, but it is the first playlist I put thought into on the order of songs rather than just shuffling them.

Miraculous Ladybug. Sometimes you just need some weird and silly adventures of some kids that have magic powers and weird love squares to make your life whole.

I love theatre, cats, plants/gardening, cross stitching , cooking/baking! Chronic album/playlist shuffler. Love the winter. Mildly addicted to coffee.

You overestimate my self-control if you think you can rave about the new Fall Out Boy Album and not have me to pair you with Asher.

jk there's copious reasons I think you and Asher make a fantastic pair; Fall Out boy being his canonical favorite band is just one of them. For one, Asher would be fuckin tickled by the knowledge that your childhood friend used to be a big cat. He'd be like "Oh, Bäbe, have I got someone for you to meet-"

I also think, in relation to the song lyrics you picked, that Asher would make a fantastic match, because he's so... accepting. Like in his Elevator audio, he would make you immediately comfortable, would never ask anything of you that you're not willing to do or be. Asher would be too enamored with the genuine you to entertain otherwise.

Song:

I ask if you play D&D/ And your face lights up like you've woken up/ From this endless fucking nightmare of pretending this is you/ This is us, this is me and this how we're meant to be/ But your smile tells me I'm safe/ And that voice unspoken's heard

I have been waiting for someone to give me an excuse to use this song, so thank the lord for you. This is one of my favorite songs by a gorgeous duo about finding connection when we’re honest about who we are and what we love, and it’s wonderful.

Runner-Ups:

David is a compelling match for you on an Enneagram basis; a loving, sincere Two would be lovely with him. I love the idea of a soft hearted, open person drawing him out of his shell. Plus, the two of you can cry over HTTYD together. (I’ll join you to make three. The second one is one of my favorite movies ever. Gavin, I like for you because I can see him empathizing with your struggle asserting your identity and supporting you in that, knowing he’s gone through a similar crisis.

Note: heehee if you’re a MOTW fan, please keep an eye on my blog! I’m homebrewing the MOTW rule system to fit the Redacted world and magic system for a campaign I’ll be keeping and will post it up here when it’s done 💌

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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zombiesrhere · 1 year

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ALBUM RATING!

since i’m not too into stranger things as much i was back in the summer i wanted to dive into something new! album rating! now, i’m not a critic or whatever but i randomly got 2 free months of spotify premium so i’m using my time wisely.

i was scrolling through music and remembered that Demi Lovato made a new album like last year and it was more of a rock album, something she’s haven’t really done in a while, so i was like, “why not rate it?” because i like rock and i like to talk about things sooo.

HOLY FUCK the album.

DISCLAIMER(S)

-this will be a very unbiased rating, i am not a fan of Demi and i’m not a hater, so i was just going in as someone who likes music.

-this isn’t going to be a DEEP rating and critique of the album because that takes way too long. just numbers and generalizations.

-the ratings are gonna be colored too going from purple, being the best, and red, being the worst.

going im order of the track list:

Freak(featuring Yungblud): 6/10; it’s okay…but it’s definitely supposed to be a song to advertise the album and plus i don’t like Yungblud.

Skin of my teeth: 8/10; great vocals with a great meaning, it was really fun to listen to.

Substance: 8/10; also another great song, it has a pretty strong social statement about society (joker reference).

Eat Me: 7/10; i think song was also another song that was used to advertise the album and it definitely sounds like it. it’s okay, it’s a bit better than Freak.

29: 8.5/10; talks about trauma and what she had to face when she was younger, and a lot can relate. amazing vocals and message, probably my favorite song.

Happy Ending: 7.5/10; it was okay, i actually don’t remember much about this song, if that tells anything.

Heaven: 6.7/10; speaks about how pleasuring oneself is good, which IS SO REAL, but it wasn’t the lyrics that made me not favorite this song, it was the sound of the song.

City of Angels: 7.5/10; don’t remember much about this songs either, but it had a nice sound so.

Bones: 6.7/10; it’s honestly a nice song but definitely not at the time for me, had a nice SOPHIE type-beat moment at the end so that was cool.

Wasted: 8/10; nice lyrics, great sound and i just liked it a lot. (could you tell that i don’t remember this song well either?)

Come Together: 6/10; THIS SONG DEFINITELY HAS A DOUBLE MEANING! lyrics were okay, sound wasn’t my taste either.

Dead Friends: 7/0; a genuine sweet song about their dead friends, kinda reminiscing, i loves it.

Help me(featuring Dead Sara): 8/10; GREAT SONG! i love the sound of this song! it was so fun and had great vocals coming from Demi and Dead Sara. this is also a song i favorite on this album.

Feed: 7.7/10; a good song, lyrics were a bit cringe (im not even going to lie!) and it had an okay sound, vocals killed as usual though.

and last but not least….

4 EVER 4 ME: 8/10; a slower love song, something Demi KILLS in, and it was amazing. also in my top 3 from this album. i was eating up the vocals, yes yes!

OVER ALL: 7.5/10

it was a decent album! like nothing can really be “perfect” and i wasn’t expecting this album to be, but i wasn’t disappointed! i would definitely re-listen to a couple of song from this album, even added some to my playlist too, so i would recommend giving a listen.

they dived more into a old-rock and punk sound WITHOUT sounding too overproduced! it was refreshing as much of modern punk and rock is very overproduced and doesn’t have that authentic feel to the songs anymore.

lyrics weren’t cringe either! no, “i’m in spain, without the s”, no horrible twisted version of a nursery rhyme, everything sounded like it was coming from them and had some personality. lyrics: 8/10

GO GIVE IT A LISTEN! (i’m secretly Demi’s PR team 😈🙏🏽)

#demi lovato #music #pop muisc #punk #music album #ratings #random rants #2000s aesthetic #pop rock

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thisaintascenereviews · 1 year

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Tyler Hubbard - Self-titled Florida Georgia Line is most often to be considered the worst thing to happen to country music within the last decade, and you could make an argument as to why -- they started the “bro-country” trend, where these artists talk about trucks, girls, beer, and the same types of things, all the while incorporating pop and hip-hop tropes into country. A lot of people hate it, and for good reason. It’s really bad, misogynistic, boring, and uninspired. FGL was always at the forefront of it, especially with their 2012 hit “Cruise,” which admittedly is very catchy. They broke up in 2021, but they didn’t officially call it quits until last year. It was very quiet, but the inevitable finally came. It also makes sense because both members, Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley, were putting out solo projects. Hubbard is the latest one to do so with his debut solo album. He released an EP last year, all of which appears on this new self-titled album, but I thought I’d check it out for a couple of reasons -- out of pure curiosity, just to see if this album might be good, and because I’ve got a somewhat soft spot for these guys. FGL’s music is either really, really bad or it’s generic but still rather catchy. I enjoy some songs on all of their albums, at least to some degree, and I like Hubbard’s voice a lot. He’s nothing special, but he’s got a good sound to it, and I can enjoy it. Maybe his new self-titled debut album might be good, so I thought it would be good to check it out, especially when I liked the songs from the EP. As far as EPs go, it’s fine, but how is the whole album now that it’s been out for the last week? Let me ask you, the reader, this first: do you want the short version or the long version? The short version is that this album is fine, nothing more or less. There’s a lot more I can say, but if I had to sum it up, this album’s okay. It’s nothing special, and if you have an idea of what to expect with FGL, you’re going to get the same thing here. This album feels like an extension of FGL, and it’s almost like they never broke up, but this album is less obnoxious. The long version, however, is that there are some bright moments on this album, but it’s frustrating, because it’s so generic in a lot of places, too. It’s catchy, and a lot of the songs on this album have good hooks, but this record places radio-friendly hooks over songwriting and lyricism. Hubbard’s performance is fine, and the instrumentation is well and good, but the lyrics are very bland a lot of the time, usually being very surface-level, and the songwriting is blase, too. It’s just a lot of the same, especially within the album itself. Every song on this hour-long album sounds the same, and it’s bad, folks. Not the songs are bad, but the album is way too long. This didn’t need to be an hour. I would have wanted this to be maybe around 36 to 40 minutes. It doesn’t need to be an hour. You could have cut a lot from this album and it wouldn’t have made a difference, especially when a lot of the songs have very similar lyrics. A lot of this record is about how this girl that Hubbard is with loves him for who he is, such as on “Me For Me,” which is a decent song and a good sentiment, but it’s weird when he’s painting himself out to be this unique guy when he’s just describing country tropes, such as big trucks, wearing boots, and drinking beer. There are a few songs that try to break out of the generic formula, such as “Miss My Daddy,” where he talks about his late father, but it’s few and far between. Some songs are pretty fun, such as “Everybody Needs A Bar,” which is just about how everyone needs a bar to drink, decompress, and socialize at. He even says that everyone needs somewhere to just shoot the shit, and it’s a pretty fun moment on this album that I really liked. Overall, though, this LP just feels like a bunch of outtakes and leftover ideas from FGL records. That’s fine in itself, because a lot of their fans are going to enjoy this, since it’s not much different, but there’s a lot that’s left to be desired. I wasn’t disappointed by this, because I went into it knowing what to expect, and it’s exactly what I thought I’d get. From the EP, it’s the same thing, but there are some good moments. “5 Foot 9″ is a catchy song and one of the lead singles, “Everybody Needs A Bar” is a ton of fun, and “Miss My Daddy” is an introspective song that looks more inward and has something more personal to say than the generic country tropes that this album continues with and that Hubbard and his songwriting team thinks people still want to hear. It’s funny when you consider Hardy’s second album, The Mockingbird & The Crow, came out a couple of weeks before this, and it actively deconstructs and pokes fun at these exact tropes (especially when Hardy himself had a hand in writing some of FGL’s biggest hits). If you’re looking for some solid country with a pop edge, you’ll like this, or you miss FGL, you’ll get something out of it, but people who don’t like country already will not like this. I like some of it, especially some hooks and vocal melodies, but as a whole, it’s really lacking.

#tyler hubbard #florida georgia line #5 foot 9 #country #pop country #bro country #country music #pop #pop music

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boonesfarmsangria · 2 years

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Take a step back to meet the sound.

The trio of Yannis Philippakis , Jack Bevan and Jimmy Smith have become synonymous with alternative rock over the past decade. The multiple presentations around the globe, an almost impeccable recording career and being recognized as one of the most intense live acts in the United Kingdom, have earned them a place in the depths of collective music mania, delivering their most recent fruit in each of the eleven tracks that make up Life Is Yours .

Thus, and anticipating his show as part of the Corona Capital 2022 festival , we took on the task of talking with Smith about everything related to the creation of this latest material, its growth during the pandemic and what keeps Foals burning in the middle of 2022 .

The project, originally from Oxford, England, would release its seventh studio album via Warner Music on June 17. This after a flurry of singles in past months including “Wake Me Up” , “2am” , “Looking High” , “2001” and “Crest of the Wave” . Being able to contextualize them as a single piece seems to suit us as well as the members.

“It's really exciting to get to the end of the whole process. Write, record, mix, publish the songs. I'm excited that people can listen to the entire album.”

The production of John Hill , coupled with the peculiar moment experienced by the musicians, ended up locating Life Is Yours between tones of soft sound and messages of encouragement. Positioning itself as one of the most luminous and dance works of the group.

After the last two years, Foals ' music seems to reflect the least pessimistic conclusion to face the post-pandemic era. We have changed human beings, but the world is still out there, now between funk and electro indie rhythms.

“I would say the core idea is that it's okay to be yourself, to exist as an individual. With all the extra time on our hands during the pandemic, it was inevitable to run into these big personal questions. Many people destroyed their sense of self in order to rediscover themselves. The title celebrates this process; life is yours, you can make of it what you want”.

Smith would take this new philosophy to its ultimate consequences. Starting from forays into synthesizer and drum machines , he reached much more intimate layers with introspection in front of him.

“I felt like I discovered myself through creating new music. Personally, I realized all the toxic people I had surrounded myself with, recognizing myself as an introvert. Life in a band is so social that I've never had the time to spend more than two days on my own, you know? He made me put into context how much I appreciate my close friends. The lockdown was a genuinely positive experience of self-discovery.”

The cancellation of the tour during 2020 due to the release of Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost would place the project in a more than necessary pause for their state of mind, giving them enough space to regain strength towards new material. Accentuating the sensation of change with positive nuances.

“I was tired, fed up with the music industry, I felt unhappy. Now everything is different, the way we think, the way we work. We're still the same band, but we've grown."

The respite in the form of new music seems to have reinvigorated Foals within the contemporary scene. Intoxicating them with the necessary energy to attack, between sound and scenarios, for a very good time more.

Our talk with the guitarist would come to an end, but not before exposing his perspective towards his long-awaited return to Mexico, as part of the 2022 edition of the Corona Capital festival.

“I am very excited to return for two reasons; concert first. It will be great to be back with all these new songs, to live them together with the Mexican public. And secondly, the last time we played the festival there was a taco al pastor booth as part of the catering . They were great, it's my favorite meal before any show, I ate hundreds that time. I can not wait to return".

INDIE ROCKS! || Interview || BLUES ARAIZA

#jimmy smith #jimmyfoals #interview #actual reading #foals #i really love jimmy #life is yours

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josiebelladonna · 2 years

Text

why i stopped following ben shepherd

okay. so, i’ve talked about this in fragments, but i never went into the full backstory. i have to get this out in the open because today is his birthday and i haven’t really seen anything about it, either. i think everyone deserves to know the truth about him, my past with him, the fact that this man who has penned some really great songs and released a long-awaited album about ten years ago and seems to be somewhat of an unsung hero in the soundgarden fandom, and there is a very good reason for this, too.

this is very long, much longer than i intended, so if you read this to the end, i hope you can understand where i’m coming from with all of this. this was also written over the course of several days, too, just because i was gathering my memories and old feelings together, so if anything sounds a bit weird or doesn’t make sense, it’s because my heart is in a different place now and i’m trying to make sense of everything back then.

i got into soundgarden when i was 11 years old, after i had heard outshined and then fell on black days one right after the other. i had a-sides when i was 14, and i bought superunknown with my own money (the first album i ever bought with my own money, too) when i was 15. i got to see them four times: portland 2013, las vegas and seattle 2014, and at the bridge school concert - the latter of which they played an acoustic set. yes. i got to see acoustic soundgarden. chris was a fan of me: i tweeted him my cartoon of him for his 50th birthday, the day after the vegas show, and he shared it a week later after i had completely forgotten about it. he and i were twitter buddies the last couple of years of his life.

i remember seeing ben in the liner notes of a-sides and i was intrigued by him. mind, it wasn’t until my parents split when i could really feel his spirit in soundgarden’s music. it wasn’t until i was in my darkest moments when i felt him resonate with me. the moments i was at my most paranoid, my most despondent, when i could hear him in there.

i remember developing a crush on ben in 2012. i got to see soundgarden mere weeks after my first “attempt”, in 2013. i plotted on probably making art for them over that year with my switch from stem school to art. it was the fall of that year when i began to develop anxiety, like really bad anxiety: we’re talking feeling so anxious that it would wake me up in the middle of the night and then it would be spotty all the way to sunrise and my thoughts wouldn’t even make any sense

and yet, i turned to him, though. i turned to his music that fall and winter to keep me warm at night.

i couldn’t not love him for it. i wrote my first letter to him in march 2014 - i remember doing it. oh god, do i remember doing it. what gets me to this day is how easy it was: i just looked in the white pages up in seattle and that was it. my mom did some further digging just to figure out where to send it to, but that was it, though. i also remember telling people on facebook about it, back when you could still somewhat talk about that sort of thing and not get weird reactions from people, at least for a little while. right after i talked about it with pride to people, i started running into more people who were more questioning of it, like “how did you do it?” and not in an intrigued sort of way, it was more like “how could you?” someone even told me that was the worst thing i could do and that he would get a restraining order against me.

i dismissed those things as nonsense because it’s the internet: you simply cannot believe everything you read - this was well before “fake news” became part of the vernacular, so make of that what you will. besides, it was the least of my problems, too: i wrote a very sweet letter to the man and that was it. and yet, for some reason, everyone saw this as hitting on him (i hit on alex skolnick in stories: some of the things i’ve said to him make the first letter i wrote to ben absolutely pale in comparison). difference is i know now that alex sees me, despite my own doubts, and i’ve seen his big jovial smiles at me, too. though it’s not out in the open - and it doesn’t have to be, either, privacy makes it more precious to me - i can see alex and i can feel him, whereas i was completely oblivious to ben’s reactions. so, figure seeing all of this speculation right before my eyes didn’t fare too well with me, someone who was coming out of a bad bout of anxiety.

it’s funny, i look back on my anxiety levels at the time and i cannot believe how on-edge i was back then and worrying about him liking me only added to it. the way in which i liked him as much as i did only added to the anxiety. say what you will with mentally remaining in high school: if you know anything about me, you’ve probably seen me talk about the fact that i grew up in an area where the pool was very limited, i.e., not a lot of chances to get together with someone.

but that’s how i am, though. i’ll admit it to the day i die: when i like someone, i fall hard. i can joke about it as much as i want, but that’s how i am, especially if the infatuation is short-lived. i have a very twisted sense of humor and yet my feelings run deep like the deepest well in the earth. even if i say i’m just a fan, i feel that phrase down to my core. it may sound contradictory - and it is, i’ll admit it - but that’s literally how i roll. “oh, i love you but i’m just joking around about it but i also love you to death but i’m also going to play around with this because i like to fool around with people i like” pretty much sums up everything you need to know about my sexuality. i can already hear the “quit playing around” crowd when i type that out: i can’t help it. and now that i type this out, i realize this is why i have such difficulty with my sexuality (among other things responsible for my own inability to fully accept it) and why i often look at the way i love another person and feel completely disgusted with myself and why i often wish i could just tear my own heart out so i wouldn’t have to feel anything ever again. i wish it wasn’t like this. i wish it was simple to understand and i could like someone more easily and in more straightforward fashion, especially when i’m all about being straightforward. but i can’t. i can’t. when i say “i kinda like this”, i mean i really like it but i don’t want you to know this, though, because how do i know you’re going to believe me?

so, no surprise (but simultaneously astounding) that far too many people failed to understand this - what’s disturbing is a lot of said people were women. there were a couple of men, but my critics and backstabbers were predominantly female. the gentle sex. the empathetic ones. the real victims of everything ever. my own sisters. some things never change, either, like how dare i feel sexy and love men.

love and lust can and do exist on their own, and neither is better or worse than the other, but for it to last, the two must coexist. and even with as much as i wish i could approach things more differently, i ask, what’s wrong with liking someone? what’s wrong with liking someone who’s taken, too? it just happens, too. but they all acted like it was completely repugnant of me to like ben as much as i did: one lady accused me of “worshipping” ben, which just on its own astounded me. i think she was the same person who gossiped about me to a friend at the time: she wrote this long elaborate message to her that... while i don’t remember most of it, accused me of being mentally unstable and that i had another thing coming if i wanted to get involved with him because “(she) saw him with a lady in florida and didn’t know what was happening but he’s got a lot of girlfriends so i’m told and it looked like it was something special” or some shit - i’m paraphrasing, and that was probably the one thing about it i remember with utmost clarity. (the “lady” in question turned out to be the second half of my old pals at jeffgarden, and i remember ben often did that with female fans, too: when they took a picture with him, he puts his arm around them, almost in appropriate fashion, too - at least alex has the decency to put a hand on their shoulder or do the “hover hands” thing that keanu reeves does.) but i remember seeing that and feeling so utterly disgusted with myself. i actually cried. i thought i was too late and that i had messed up somehow.

i will say this, though: i think it was around that time i started attaching the phrase “bad gal/bad girl” onto my name. it first started as an homage to rihanna given her ig name is badgalriri but there’s also a great deal of truth to it. i genuinely felt like a deviant, someone who was committing something so unspeakable and so horrible that i have to parade it around. it’s both a sentiment of pride as well as one of shame. i jettisoned it in favor of nirvhannahshepherd (which eventually became nirvhannahcornell) but over time, i went back to it because it aged like fine wine. i think it was also around that time i discovered eminem’s song “stan”, which spoke to me on so many levels, namely one of irony. like, yeah, i’m a batshit insane fan who’s willing to go to great lengths to talk to the guy she’s a fan of who also happens to be a guy she has a crush on. it’s on par with kathleen hanna’s “kill me” dress. i’m a bad girl. kiss me and then let me die, because you win.

except... you know how i eventually found out it was too late and he had won? in my second letter to him, for his birthday that same year, i was once again sweet to him but i included a photo of myself as well as a couple of drawings as sort of a bundle of some kind. got no response after that.

when i wrote to him the third time in february 2016, a week after valentine’s day, even after that, i thought “this guy’s not going to get back to me, will he” so i mentioned that i like his mother because i often saw her comments on the fan pages and on soundgarden’s official and i thought, “aw, she seems like a sweet old lady”. she would reply to my comments within a couple of months’ time. but i never heard anything from ben himself.

and i remember that baffled me to no end, too, like “why is she getting back to me but not him?” like that’s kind of shitty, dude, using your own mom to communicate with me when you very easily could do it yourself. and you seem to have the time, too, like what’s the matter?

that summer was also the one where soundgarden held a fanart contest (anyone remember that?) and they never said what the prize was until after the winners were announced - there were two. one was a british woman named nicola honey, the other was yours truly. you would think i would’ve been beside myself, and i was, too: i couldn’t believe it. the thing that killed it was without a doubt the prize: a choice between louder than love or down on the upside on vinyl. never mind the fact i don’t really like vinyl much and i was starting to dislike the ubiquity of it back then: if they had just announced it before they sent it out to the world, then i have no doubt i wouldn’t have bothered with the whole thing to begin with. really, if they were upfront about it from the get-go, it wouldn’t have made me feel sour about the whole thing and predispose me to dislike any art contests in the future after that. i do dislike them, too, because the prizes are usually shitty like that and because the winners of the last one i partook in were - there’s no way around this, either - complete trash. my portraits of the beatles lost out to a portrait of edgar allen poe that looked like someone sat on the reference photo.

that day in august was a death knell for my thing with ben, too, because i realized really quick, “no, this guy doesn’t give a shit about me.”

in other words, over the course of some three months, i lost a reason to like ben as much as i did. in fact, you could argue that i fell out of love: i pretty much pushed him out of my mind by mid-summer 2016.

and then, as we all know, i went dark that october, chris passed the following may, and i came back online in late 2018 with a fixation for metallica. i joined ao3 after a rendezvous with original fiction in february 2019 and i think it was that summer i found out ben had a baby in summer 2015.

suddenly, it all clicked. and naturally, i was pissed.

understand, it’s not the fact that he became a father again the summer after i wrote my second letter to him that bothered me: i decided in the months after that horrible bout of anxiety, during the summer where i took a sabbatical from school, that i actually don’t really care about that. live your life on your terms, even if it brings a tear to my eye. but i have no control over you. i may fall hard but know that i love you so much that i’m willing to let you go if it makes you happy. it did baffle me, though, because i often saw that he lived alone in that house up on bainbridge island (it still does hang me up a bit, too, because my mom and i were both positive that it was only him there).

the fact that i gave him a chance to say something to me, anything, whether it was a “fuck you” or something along those lines and he did absolutely nothing is the thing i can’t get over. you may as well have just looked at my picture, jerked off to it and then played around with your woman. you may as well have seen me as “the other woman”... and that feels really gross to me.

you know, never mind his transgressive onstage behavior for a second, with spitting on people, giving them the finger, even pissing on them - which, i don’t care how much you find it funny at first: after a time, you have an idea as to what you’re getting yourself into when you went to see them and there comes a point you stop laughing and you wind up rolling your eyes instead; i know it did me. like, “c’mon, you are not g.g. allin and you never could be, either.” but it made me feel incredibly cheated. used, even. this man was my hero (my hiro, rather) and i wanted to give him a piece of my heart. but oh, he’s more than happy to give other women shit like candy and babies, and they throw themselves at him with flowers and things. it made me wonder what on earth was wrong with me, what i had done wrong for him to be so spineless towards me. i remember blaming myself for a bit, like i had overthought my letters to him, i said the wrong thing somewhere... but then i realized something.

it’s not me, and it never was.

you know how i know this?

there’s a reason they were often referred to as “frowngarden” by the guns n’ roses crew, and why he was called “frankenbass” or “manimal” in particular. they were too serious for their own good. sure, there was the odd picture of them smiling and goofing around but when i really look back on them, i get this odd air of pretentiousness, like it almost feels smug, holier-than-thou even (meanwhile, gnr weren’t having any fun in their tenure, so figure their crew was going to be a bit jokey in their own rite). of course, “frowngarden” all but fell out of use after chris passed but in a way, there was a glaring reason they were called that. a glaring 6′4″ reason.

i’m a big grunge fan, the seattle scene is one of the loves of my life, but the pretenses surrounding that scene are very patronizing and holier-than-thou, which is why i often focus on the music rather than the bands (whereas the metal world has been a different story altogether *laughs for a thousand years*) and ben is without question a mouthpiece of this pretense: “it’s not grunge, it’s a gimmick, it’s just music”. sure. whatever you say. but i have a real problem with seeing “we’re not here to be hedonistic and party” because god damn it, a little hedonism will take you far in life. and it makes you seem like a real killjoy, too, like you’re afraid to have fun outside of having fun with the music. and it’s so rich to see him to say that, too, especially with how many kids he has now and the fact he smokes like a chimney. you don’t have to be motley crue (hell, motley crue doesn’t even want you to be them) but loosening your bullets every now and again will do a lot of good. this neverending black hole of “i always have to be doing something” that he carries with him is so unhealthy and so damaging, not just to himself but his children (whenever i see ione on instagram with one of her journals, i get a little choked up, to be perfectly honest). it’s beat-for-beat the same mantra as capitalism, the incessant “always work, fuck you if you want to play around” belief that we’re all supposedly against now and yet grunge fans worship the ground this man walks on. the man actually nearly drank himself to death (which my stepdad did, which is the last way you want to go) and he od’ed on morphine at one point, too, which is... not a fun drug at all, so i really don’t understand what his deal is when i think about it.

i see testament, there is seriousness there, but there’s also a lot of humor there (i mean, any band that has this as part of their photo collection, they have a sense of humor, bunch of men in black). hell, this was one of the reasons i was so drawn to anthrax, aside from joey’s voice and the fact they rock: they’re funny. they’re a funny, goofy bunch, even with the sheer amount of drama that followed them over the years. fucking death even had a sense of humor. chuck the perfectionist would tell you to lighten up, ben.

when i see alex’s name in my notifications, i feel my heart soar. i think “there he is!” even when he doesn’t reply to me or “like” my comment, i know he’s there. i think the reason why, after two years now of following alex, i feel things only strengthening between me and him, and i think it was around this time last year i realized what it is with me and him: i became attracted to alex’s mind first, then his big heart, and then his body, which if you ask me is how it’s supposed to go. yes, looks are very much important but it has to be part of the whole package if you want it to last, though. when you find yourself enamored with how they treat people - especially in his case, a guy whom people see as this guitar god, whereas he’ll always be the guy with a guitar alone in his apartment to me - how they behave when they’re alone, even how they speak, you know you’re on the right track. i came to a point last year where i started feeling aroused by the sound of his voice: i even told him that i love his voice, how warm and gentle it is and with that full ray romano/harold ramis tone to it. i especially love how it gets all husky and sensual when he talks to me, and he gets this really tender look on his face, or he smiles really big, the very second he sees me. i can’t not look at that and feel some really sweet things about him.

ben meanwhile? i couldn’t tell you how he feels. he has an instagram but he was active for about... a few months back in 2019 (before i rejoined ig, too). every time i went over there to see what things were like on his end, the more i got this slimy feeling, this nervous pit in my stomach.

i’ve talked about this, too: i’ll tell alex that i love the way he looks, or better yet, i tell him he’s handsome, and he seems to roll with it (never forget the first time i said that to him, either, and it made him blush) and i can’t even begin to say how euphoric and sexy it makes me feel. i could look at him all day long, at those deep hypnotic eyes and that gorgeous streak of gray on his head, at those lips like ripe rainier cherries off of the tree branch, at that beautiful body that’s just the right amount of chubby that i really like. i said this to ben, how i love the way his shaggy hair looks and how his slightly full body looks... and almost right after, he pretty much shaved his head and got really fat to where he resembled one of those dolls you squeeze and play-doh comes out of the head. or better yet, he resembled to homer simpson, although that’s kind of an insult to homer. between that, the fact he smokes (major turn-off for me: i don’t want to kiss you if you smell like an ashtray), and the fact that he used his own family to communicate with me when it was so easy to get in touch with him, it’s almost like he went against me from the very beginning and yet he didn’t have the balls to tell me off.

(honestly, it’s wild to believe these two men are literally the same age only 9 days apart, with ben’s birthday being today and alex’s birthday being next thursday, and the latter being far more mature about things. he’s a lot more dedicated to his craft, too: ben’s become one of those guys who’s all talk - which, as we all know, is a trait i absolutely love - whereas alex is like me, he just does it.)

guys, listen: if you don’t like me, just tell me. really. i have to figure it out on my own and it only makes me want to punch you. and ladies, if you don’t like me, be fucking women about it. real women are supposed to build each other up, you know 😉 but they don’t shame other women for their sexuality and treat them like trash in a completely worse manner that shitty men have treated them like trash.

a goal in my life is to write a memoir of all of the musical men whose lives i’ve touched since 2013, and no doubt this here will be a big part of it given my stepping away from ben opened the door for me. even after all of the nonsense with him, i still feel a bit of gratitude. without him, i never would have found lars, joey, or alex. without him, there would be no art or anything from me. i probably wouldn’t have found fanfic again - there would be no now it’s dark, no fever, nothing, really, and i never would’ve parlayed on controversy to get here, either - and i wouldn’t be writing this, either.

in a strange, morbid, twisted, royally fucked up way, i still thank ben. i think i always will, too. i’ve put him out of my radar for good and i couldn’t be bothered by anything he or kim and matt do anymore, but i still thank him, though, kind of like how my dad thanks my mom to this day, even though he’s long moved on from their fallen marriage.

like i said... know that i love you so much that i’m willing to let you go as long as i see that you’re happy.

#long reads #ben shepherd #soundgarden #personal essay #text

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rue-bennett · 11 days

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"The songs on evermore definitely do call more attention to themselves"

a lot of evermore songs are also just very recognisable imo and all feel very unique. if you asked me to name my most relistened/favorite songs from both, it would be a lot of evermore specifically the beginning. the first 6 tracks are gold tier for me. willow, champagne problems, gold rush, 'tis the damn season, tolerate it and no body no crime is an incredible run and the best of the album for me. although I like the rest of the album too, it drops off a bit for me after these first 6.

folklore like you said is more cohesive but I have my favourites, illicit affairs, the 1, my tears ricochet and the lakes. even though I have my folklore faves i listen to all the songs about equally so theres less of a gap in my enjoyment of all of them compared to evermore. I also rarely skip around the album, all the songs are extremely easy to listen to no matter my mood.

even though I love the rest of evermore too, I skip around it a lot depending on my mood. if I had to rank all the songs it would be a lot of evermore first with a few folklore songs up there, and then a solid mix but evermore would also take up the last few spots. it's a mix because I think my least favourite evermore songs are below almost all of folklore, but my mid level evermore songs are mixed in with the mid/upper level faves from folklore. if that makes sense lmao.

oooh yes okay that's a v good way of putting it, that they're more distinct and different from each other. i kinda of meant that. those are all just excellent tracks, an amazing run. no that's so fair however i also adore the happiness, dorothea, coney island, ivy, cowboy like me, run. those are very good faves, i love those (except for "the lakes" personally, but "the 1" i will always be obsessed with lol). oooh that is interesting that you listen to them all equally.

i've always felt like folklore is more consistently good (great, to me) while evermore has higher highs and higher lows. less consistent but there's payoff to that. there's more risk taking in the actual instrumentation and sounds and varies more. i skip around it a lot more, too! and oooh interesting! no that makes total sense to me actually! i think that despite me giving folklore the edge, we actually have a very similar take on these albums. evermore would have some songs near both the top and bottom for me and folklore would be in the top-middle for me. like, "gold rush" and "tis the damn season" were among my most listened to songs for a couple years running lol. (along with some other evermore songs!)

#sorry i took foreverrr to reply i waited til i was on my computer then didn't go in it for a bit dslnk #asks #anonymous #ts talk #ts asks

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sierrabinondo · 4 months

Text

2023

jesus christ. lmao

well.

real quick- i'm basically never posting the link to these again. either people know where to find them or they don't. i think it's better that way.

for the first week of this year i had only one eye. i had poked my eyeball with my wire brush and couldn't open it without experiencing excruciating pain for days. i think that dumb little injury- unfortunate, yet kinda funny- really set the tone for 2023.

the first few months i was essentially in hibernation. we were hard at work tracking vocals on the with sails ahead record well into april, technically may too. we ran into so many setbacks- joe got sick, then i got sick (or vice versa???), one night i had a really bad crying spell and stayed home, sometimes shit just came up- it was incredibly difficult. and we were losing our minds feeling like this record was taking forever to get done. five nights a week spent tracking vocals, sometimes doing upwards of 60 takes (sry joe) to get my takes as perfect as possible. it was fucking. tough. and there's still things i wish i could have done differently, but we got it done.

it's kind of angering to think about how i've gotten better as a vocalist even in the time since, and i wish i could apply what i've learned to the record. but that just means that the songs will sound even better live, which will be awesome. i'm still proud of a lot of the work i did on the record.

at the end of the day, spending all that time making an album was the best possible use of my time. i don't regret it at all. i wish i could have streamed, but it's okay.

that truly was my life from january to april. i did dry january and it went well so i'm doing it again in 2024. i think i managed to extend it into most of February. the goal is to also continue it for as long as possible or generally abstain from alcohol more since WSA will be so busy. we went to shows here and there, and when we did hang out we got together at joe's since we had already been working. but that was really it. i finally got a new tattoo, which was the digimon sword piece i had been dying to get forever. i got to go to the new kura location in edison, too.

april happened. and then may was also a month.

june was an exceptionally busy month, and in that time we went on tour for WC3. three weeks prior, ryan had to bow out of the run due to an injury and we were SO fucking lucky that cha could step in last-minute. with all things considered, we played well on tour. as weepy and fucked up in the head as i was, that was one of my favorite weeks of this year, and one of my favorite memories. there's a longer, more detailed recap below so i won't go into exacts. but being around my friends all week was bliss.

in june, i also started taking muay thai classes. i had always wanted to go back to taking martial arts classes in some way, shape or form but i didn't think it would happen this soon. i thought maybe in my mid-30's i'd start, but it just worked out that i could start going now. i didn't start prior due to budget and time restraints but, i moved closer to my friends' gym, so i could finally go train. i knew it was going to be way different from cardio kickboxing, but understanding *some* of those fundamentals helped me at least have half a foot forward when i began training. it's taking me so long to absorb everything since i can only go once a week, but it has been fucking awesome. there was one class where emily and i were just throwing each other around on the mat, and it was a blast. not only has it been really fun and incredible to learn, but i have become closer with my friends sean and emily, and made a new friend in our classmate kim. they've all been a tremendous help in getting me through this year; probably more than they'll ever know.

god every month this year was so busy. early july, we finally filmed our music videos for the record and played a couple gigs. the month absolutely flew by. shooting the videos was a blast, and the two fests we played were very fun. sadly, in the midst of those two gigs, i was living a fucking nightmare. any sane person would cancel the shows and all of their obligations but i decided not to. i probably would have been better off for it, but i felt like playing the shows and being around my friends was better than being at home and mourning never seeing my dog again. but in july, i also returned to streaming, and it was so bittersweet going live again. since then, it's been difficult to maintain the schedule i once had, but i'm just so fucking grateful and glad that my community is still here. they didn't go anywhere. and i really don't care if i grow at the moment, because if they keep coming back that's all that matters. they are what makes continuing to stream worth it or even enjoyable at all. it's so much fun.

in august, WSA decided to start giving a shit about tiktok and meeting at joe's to do bits. we had the WC3R weekender, so we figured it was a good time to start getting into the swing of posting. if we want to grow at all, we have to. it really helped with promoting our shows. when we went on the weekender later that month, we got to see detroit and chicago for the first time. i am so blessed to be able to travel with my best friends and see cool shit. we also meet the most wonderful people and get to see longtime friends on the road, many of which we maintained contact with online only. i never hesitate to reassure people that tour is grueling, but it is so fucking rewarding.

the summer overall was awesome. spent a lot of time with friends new and old, longboarded, went to a food festival, spent a lot of time in brooklyn and philly. I SAW TWICE LIVE, FINALLY. top 3 best concerts of all time, it might rival the on letting go 10 year for #1. saw my childhood best friend get married and enjoyed a trip with my family to north carolina. SHOUTOUT ABARI VIDEO GAME BAR IN CHARLOTTE. because of emily, i also got to go to the beach so much!!! girl hooked it up with free badges!! and that was something i really wanted to make sure i didn't miss out on this year. i was sad the summer ended so early, but it was a good one.

when september came, it was like a break before the final arc of the year began. i still had to haul ass and get band stuff done, otherwise i took it a little easier. my month kicked off with a trip to the DMV, which was incredible. the barbeque at adam's was awesome, and i had a blast living with kevin and caleb for a week. it felt wrong to leave to be honest LMAOOOO. i am so grateful to them for their hospitality. basically when i crash there i live in their basement lmao and i work remotely!! and it totally all works out! then we hang really hard at night. karaoke at queen's gambit was. god. just one of the most perfect nights out i have ever had. and even the nights where we didn't do much, it was wonderful. later that month was my birthday, for which my plans got hella derailed due to the storm, but my friends who are local still came which i'm so grateful for. we partied hard and sang karaoke for hours. i wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

being single is fucking weird, but i'm mostly used to it now. it's nice to get attention but i rarely feel like actually into anyone. and when i do, it's not reciprocated. also! being on dating apps is fucking weird! i got on them because i was craving physical intimacy but since then i've only gone on one date. that was just two days ago. people are just so weird. i really tried to connect with both men and women- i don't even want anything serious- but people just stop answering. thankfully, i really didn't get discouraged over it at all. i'm not gonna lie, i also just would stop answering people i was initially interested in. it just sucks so much. it's hard to feel anything, even excitement. but i guess i also don't really take it seriously. hence my insane prompt answers lmao

october through december was basically 9 seconds. mostly because of us dropping new music. i spent october scrambling to get everything ready, november was all about darting, then prepping for the rest of the album shit we need and filming content in december. i finally got to see ciara again since we met in LA!! we showed her around philly and jersey. i finally got to see steph and her family, regretfully for the first time in a long time. i'm pretty sure i was there the month prior then went back for brian's birthday. it's been harder for us to get time in together, but hanging out with steph is always just like picking up where we left off, no matter how long it's been. i went to a really fun wedding halloween weekend, and got to cosplay ann tamaki for halloween this year, which is like the 2nd faithful cosplay i've done since going blonde haha. bea kind of counts but not really? i didn't wanna chop my hair or wear a wig so. oops.

november flew. all i had on my mind was darting eyes. we wished there was a more explosive response, but we're still insanely proud of what we achieved. it was cool to see everyone's reactions and have people be really hype about it. i felt proud to see people say it's our best song yet. i think it's up there with some of the sickest shit we've written. i also went back to kevin and caleb's to chill with them for their birthdays and to go see daoboys in baltimore. i would love to make that a yearly trip provided that we're both free that week of november. also i cringe when i think about how i fucked up when i mic grabbed for daoboys BUT it was still an awesome experience and i'm so lucky i can say that i got invited to do that at all.

when december came, i was not feeling festive at all. even on christmas eve, i woke up feeling more normal about it than ever. i've never listened to so little christmas music in my life. it was a really tough month. i missed brawly so badly. but my friends were glad to hang out and do festive shit with me, which helped so much. on christmas, it was just me and my family, no one else, and it was really lovely. it's become one of my top favorite christmases ever.

this year was tough for many reasons most likely obvious, but for a long time i resented being alone with myself. i ran from it as a kid. if i was left out of plans with friends, i would feel sorry for myself instead of dusting my shoulders off and practicing my instruments. and i definitely still did that - but i could have done more, and channeled less negative energy from it. but i ended up doing so much, spontaneously, on my own. and i'm so proud of myself for it. it took time, but i accept what has happened to me and i feel myself ready for a clean slate. i'm definitely just not ready for a relationship yet. i realized yesterday that i'm emotionally unavailable, still. i need more time. getting older sucks but, i'm not too worried about being alone for a little longer at all.

and doing those things alone is totally self care too. speaking of which. I TOOK SO MANY BATHS THIS YEAR. shoutout to my parents' jacuzzi tub. that mf is fam forreal,,,,,, i have a whole set up lmao i throw in a bath bomb, some bubbles, sometimes i grab a mask or some wine, and i throw on anime. it's so therapeutic but one time i got lightheaded from being in there too long so i have to be careful hahaha. i'm grateful to my parents for allowing me to use it so much.

i spent...... so much time with my family and friends this year. i don't remember the last time i have hung this hard with them. our family's bond has taken a completely different shape now that we're all adults, and it's become so much deeper. not only did we go through the breakup together, but losing our cats. i can be a pain in the ass for them all still, which i need to work on, but things are much better now than they have been in the past.

i got so much closer with my bandmates. we hung out way more as best friends, not just to write music and film bits. my lifelong best friends immediately took me under their wing when shit initially hit the fan in april and they haven't let go since. what i went through made me develop an even deeper connection to friends i wished i got to spend more time with. and i just. i had been conditioned to believe for so long that i didn't truly deserve many things, but i no longer have any reason to believe that because of the people who choose to be in my life. i really have such incredible family and friends. i always joke that i didn't ask to be born and shit, but i got the luckiest draw when it comes to the company i have. not that i don't give myself credit for enduring what i had to go through, but i would have been fucked without the support system i have. i am truly so thankful every day.

god i can barely get through finishing this post without crying!!!!

when we went out to dinner recently, my friend asked us what we learned this year. i couldn’t answer because i didn’t even know where to start. i took some time to think about it, and it’s unfortunately a lot. but, here is what i learned in 2023:

what i thought was love was really attraction, and even comfort. those things are still important in a healthy context, but real love is respect- respecting your partner enough to recognize when you’re hurting them and crossing boundaries repeatedly. and a real apology is not repeating that hurtful behavior. it’s not just words, and it’s not blaming others for your mistakes. it’s action. this goes for friendships, too.

believe the things someone says when they’re livid at you. it’s not that those awful things are true, but they are an accurate reflection of how they feel about you. i am so mad at myself for not seeing this glaring red flag probably upwards of a couple dozen times. I challenged these words and i was still reassured those angry sentiments were meaningless. it all adds up now.

take people at face value. don’t try to prove them wrong about themselves. act as if who they are right now is the way they’ll be forever. that was so fucking hard for me as someone who has always largely believed in people’s propensity to change. my therapist really really tried to drill this into my head when i started seeing her in may. it was tough to follow the first time and it didn’t finally stick until the second time i made the mistake of not listening in september. i had to abandon being a fixer. the second time i was challenged in this way this year, i didn’t so much as try to fix them, but i was praying they weren’t right about the terrible things they were telling me about themselves. i wanted them to prove me wrong. i had to come to terms with the fact that because of their commitment to believing they were no good, and not respecting boundaries, we were not going to work out. i truly believed i could love people into being better. i thought giving grace would inspire them to want more for themselves. it is physically impossible.

it is so much better to keep your mouth shut about your personal life. as someone who has always been an open book and worn her heart on her sleeve, this has been extremely difficult for me (lmao). firstly, there’s no need to prove yourself to people who are committed to not empathizing with you. not even reacting or telling the objective truth will help, because they will be dead set on denial. it fuels their disdain. second, the reality is, even some (maybe most!) people who care about you will not understand exactly what you’re going through, and how all-encompassing it feels. and it’s not ok to word vomit about your trauma all the time. unless the offer is extended, it’s best to journal everything and use tools like therapy. i am so glad i have songwriting for this. i just had such great cognitive dissonance that i couldn’t even trust myself, and that's why i couldn't shut the fuck up in/on private lmao. i constantly found myself questioning reality and seeking validation. i couldn’t conceive what the fuck was happening to me nor place how i was supposed to feel. i felt tremendous, overwhelming guilt and grief. a part of me died. we all make jokes about gaslighting, but the psychological torment is no joke.

i made a little change where i stopped calling myself stupid and i legitimately felt a small improvement in my mental health. i highly recommend actually speaking kinder to yourself. there are other insults i should stop using towards myself but that alone felt like a positive step in the right direction.

i believed i wasn’t being held back and that it was all in my head, but staying in a place where i was being emotionally and verbally abused was not only worsening my anxiety but my physical health. i went no contact, and i could even breathe better. sleep better. i used to experience acid reflux daily and now it’s on an occasional basis. I am lonely sometimes, and i am still grieving somewhat, but i feel so much better. it’s incredible.

and now i’m so fucking mad that i accepted less than i deserved for so, so long. i am so mad that i held myself back from being truly happy. even being in a better situation mentally for the last decade might have meant i would have been farther along in my goals. now that i understand how fucked my mental health was that entire time, and how it ruined my self-perception, i feel such a well of emotions when staring ahead at the rest of my life. i have no fucking idea what it looks like. in april there was a dark, deep precipice. now, it’s a little less steep, but it’s there. sometimes it’s not. i am fucking terrified of what comes next, but at the same time i wonder how much i can affect by legitimately believing in myself and having zero mental hindrances. what if i can actually will all of my dreams into reality. after what i experienced this year, i feel like i have nothing to lose, now. so if i'm a little delusional in 2024 i'm sorry lmao. i am only this young for so long!!! and i am hellbent on trying to have as incredible of a year as i can. but if it's anything like 2023, without all of the bad, it certainly will be.

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vitaminwaterreviews · 4 months

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Agust D - Agust D

I haven’t done a proper hip hop album yet, so this was a cool experience. It’s obviously intended to be more lyrical than melodic overall, and learning about the background of the album feels kind of essential to understand what’s going on. So, if you’re gonna listen to this album, definitely check out the Wikipedia page first.

I think I liked the experience. I certainly enjoyed a lot of the songs, and I like the picture that the album as a whole painted. I’m not convinced by the musicality of it; I don’t think I’ll end up listening to most of these songs ever, I really had to pay attention to the lyrics to appreciate them. But a couple of them were enough that I’ll be able to enjoy them without the lyrics. Plus the last song was actually SO good. Overall rating of 7.9 but… I would kind of take that with a grain of salt. I’ve never listened to another album quite like this, so I have nothing to compare that score to, really. I think a rating of 7.5 would be more appropriate.

- So, funny story here. I never intended to listen to anything Agust D, ever. But then earlier this year, for like two weeks straight, D-Day was everywhere I looked. It was all over kpop reddit and it was all over kpop youtube and so when it finally came out, the Haegeum MV was recommended to me literally everywhere. And so I caved and watched it, and I liked it enough to listen to the album. So I saved some songs from D-Day, and that was all. Then yesterday I was like “I should check out his other titles,” so I watched Agust D and Daechwita, and I loved them. So now I’m gonna go through their respective albums and see what I can see!

Also holy shit I just opened up Reddit and the first post on my reddit is “What is being said in the beginning of Agust D?” from 8 minutes ago. If that isn’t a sign then idk what is lmao

Intro : DT sugA

Haha yep, here we go

E N E R G Y

The repetition of “STD” is funny. Like, is he aware of what STD means in english? Surely. But also it’s a pun, he’s Suga from TD. So he is STD, and also Agust D. Wordplay!

Also maybe I should watch lyric videos for these songs, considering it’s mostly rap…

8/10, I do tend to rate intros and interludes highly

Agust D

The MV is so cool. Like, it’s not just trying to be cool: it IS cool

He’s actually such a good rapper. Like I just love the way that words sound when they come out of his mouth

Lyrically, it’s kind of what you’d expect. “I’m great and you’re dumb, fuck all the haters, I’m a real rapper and way better than you too”

8/10. Very good, fun, but I want a bit more from it

give it to me

Woahhh the bell

Also this bass

Also this beat

I love the laugh

(I’ll probably be typing a Lot less because I’m spending more time looking at the lyrics)

7/10

Skit

Oh lol is this literally a skit?

Omg it is that’s so funny

Bro two orders of ribs? Oh I guess if it’s for both of you

Omg he’s totally breaking the 4th wall

“Yankie hyunh” lmao

Okay wait, do I even rate this? I guess I should

9/10, really really cool inclusion, fits the theme of the album well.

724148

Bassy, alright

He keeps referencing bang si hyuk, that’s neat

So far this album seems to be more lyrical than anything, but I’m not totally convinced by the musicality of it. Maybe I’d rate it higher if it was in English, but also, I know what he can do. He’s got more levels to go from this.

7/10

140503 at dawn

Lol he’s moaning like

Oh he’s typing

Lol

7/10

The Last

Do you hear that bass drum?

We do appreciate rapping about mental health issues

9/10

Tony Montana (feat. Yankie)

Ohh it’s Jimin? That’s neat

It’s snowing outside! Pretty

Interesting soundscape

Who tf is Tony Montana then?

“A fictional character and the villain-protagonist of the 1983 film Scarface”

“Embodying the possibility of a person rising from the bottom of society to the top, Tony Montana has become a cultural icon, as well as one of the most iconic film characters of all time.”

6/10 tbh. It’s FIne but definitely my least favorite so far

Interlude : Dream, Reality

Ok, a bit more mellow now are we?

8/10, solid interlude, fit the album, and a nice break from all the intensity

so far away (feat. SURAN)

Oh, we’re ending mellow too

Nvm, we’re ending powerful

Love the guitar solo too

I really don’t know whether to rate this a 9 or a 10. It was so so good. And I genuinely can’t think of anything it could’ve done better, so…

10/10

#album #kpop #hip hop #Agust D #Suga

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soraenun-archive · 2 years

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No can do! We are all here to celebrate (& help) you Shannon. There will not be a moment where you're wrong. And if you happen to miss something, clues will be given to you ;) You'll always win bestie :D

I'm so 🥺 that you took the time to listen to the songs I recommended. And it's totally normal and okay to not like certain songs. We all have our own taste in music ^^

Amélie is indeed one of my favourite movies of all time (so great guess!) but I was talking about azur & asmar (a french animated movie by michel ocelot : a masterpiece!) . As for the disney/pixar movie question, let me give you two little clues: BOO & a lot of doors!!! I think this will help you, or at least if I'm still good at giving clues hehe

Of course 🥺 If I make a promise, I try my hardest to complete it. In fact, you gave a few of my favorite elo songs in your answer. While waiting for your answer, I had the time to finish listening to his entire discography. Rose, angel, cupcake, lip service, falling dreams & can't be happy are my fave elo songs <3 We must really have the same taste in music if you had so many correct answers wow I'm impressed!

If I'm being honest, I'm not a sone </3 I know I know, this must come as a shock to a lot of people but I started my kpop experience with f(x) and I was so focused on them that I didn't dive into snsd's music :/ But you still got the correct answer because the other groups mentioned are a part of my fave 2nd gen ggs. Other answers I would've accepted are t-ara & 4minute :)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's the last show of the shannon game (disappointed oh's can be heard) but alas, there is an end to every good thing. But, worry not! it is for a good cause :D I will finally reveal myself to shannon! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO NERVOUS!!!

Tonight, there will only be one question, but it is a very important one (drumrolls)

Question #10: How would you describe our friendship?

Folks! That's it! That's the end of the Shannon game :( It was a pleasure being with you for this long and I'd like to thank Shannon for being such a good sport and taking the time to answer those questions. One more time, let's give a round of applause to Shannon (clap clap clap)

Ilu & please take care <3

from 🐘💌 anon

thank you for rigging the game so i can never lose i really appreciate it <3 it would be pretty bad to lose a game that was literally named after me

of course!! i always enjoy a good music rec and i had a lot of fun listening to them even if they weren't all my taste i still enjoyed it since i knew they were songs you liked 💞

oo okay yeah you’re right i have never heard of that!! but it sounds really interesting and it seems to be a pretty popular film and it won a lot of awards and stuff so maybe i will have to watch it sometime!! okay you are way too generous with your clues! you basically gave me the answer but i will accept it because i would have had no idea without that! (it would be funny if i was still wrong but i think i'm right) monsters inc is an excellent choice!! it’s such a cute movie 🥺 idk if i have a favourite disney/pixar movie but monsters inc is a really good one!

wow i can't believe i guessed so many of your favourites either but we really do have similar taste!! can't be happy is one of my favs as well his new album is really good!! i really appreciate you checking out his music and i'm glad you found some songs you really like <3

ohh i really thought you liked snsd because i’m sure i have seen you reblog some taeyeon posts before but are you more just a fan of her rather than snsd? but i’m glad i still got a couple answers right then i can’t be too disappointed <3

aww no im so sad the game is over :( but i’m very excited for the big reveal !! oh this is kind of hard because i’m not very good with words but i think our friendship is like when u meet up with an old friend and it’s like no time has passed and you just pick up where you left off and catch up! sometimes a few days or weeks may pass between our messages but it feels like no time at all… and we have a lot in common so it feels very familiar and comfortable but also we share lots of new things with each other too!! genuinely your messages are a huge comfort and your warm and kind personality always comes through <3 they really do make my day! 💗💕

thank u so much it has been an honour !! i had so much fun playing <3 love u too bestie i will be looking forward to your big reveal !! 💓

#🐘💌#anonymous #💌

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wishallthatiwant · 2 years

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I saw The Regrettes in concert last night! They were so good and I loved it so much. I had a blast! ( even though there was a Bruins game in Boston last night so it took an hour to find parking) I asked my cousin so come with me because she likes concerts and I have no friends I could ask. She had fun but I really need to geek out over it. ILydia sounds so good live and her energy! She is so adorable! Plus Genessa and Brooke were fun to watch too. It’s not on further joy so I was worried ( not really the right word because it is not a big deal but I wanted them to) they would not okay seashore and that is my favorite but they closed with it dedicating it to the Supreme Court and I loved that. I got a bunch of videos though I think I’m dancing in most of them so I’m not sure how they all look. And I finally got mercy for them so I’m excited about that! I also really liked Alex Lahey who opened so I found new music I like! I’m so happy I was able to see my favorite band in concert!

the regrettes are absolutely PHENOMENAL to see live im so glad u saw them and ALWAYS geek out over live concerts with me i will take every chance i get to talk about them (none of my irls wanna see my vids 😕)

im pretty sure seashore is on every setlist but fuck yes for dedicating it to roe v wade they've always been so vocal ab things like this and i love that for them, but im pretty sure they're playing more than just further joy songs? like im assuming that they played at least a couple songs from how do you love? and feel your feelings fool! just because it'd be odd if they didn't

SPEAKING OF HOW WAS HEARING FURTHER JOY LIVE which song was ur favorite? my show was literally a week before the album released 😭 which just means that i only heard the singles </3 (which were fantastic ofc) BUT TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT (concert videos are always meant to be shaky it's the best part, and u get like two good pictures only. i set one of mine as my lock screen lol)

i haven't listened to alex lahey so tell me songs to listen to bc hopefully i'll see them in a couple weeks too 🤞

#the regrettes #alex lahey #see the problem is that the regrettes and olivia shows are like three days apart #and as cheap as regrettes tickets are idk how willing my dad would be to take us to sf twice in less than three days on weekdays #and were already trying to buy resellers for olivia so we all know that gonna be expensive as fuck #also if u have olivia sf tix to sell give me ur ig and i will dm u pls 🙏

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afriendlyblackhottie · 3 years

Text

Dance, Dance

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: there’s been too much going on ever since you started messing around with your best friend.

Pairings: Colin Shea x Black!Best Friend!Reader

Warnings: minors dni, smut, angst, fluff

(A/N: yaaaay it’s done. This was a fun little series. I loved writing it. Titled after the song Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy. Thanks everyone that enjoyed. Like, follow, reblog, and comment ☺️)

»»——————————-　♡　—————-————-««

You didn’t even know it was possible for you to fake smile for this long. As much as you enjoyed doing the whole music thing, industry shit was kind of the worse. You’d been overdue for at least a glass of champagne, but now you needed something stronger like whisky.

Things had been hectic lately. Just getting stuff ready and playing ball. The label that signed you was a smaller offshoot of a bigger one and so now you were here watching Colin take one for the team and schmooze it up since he knew the rest of you hated this part.

It wasn’t like you were bad at the whole thing. It’s just there was only so much you could deal with before finally reaching your limit. And all the old men ogling you was definitely something you could live without.

“Hey,” Ryan, your bass player, greeted as he sat beside you. It was kind of funny seeing the rest of them in suits and shit. You didn’t think they could wear anything but jeans and converse.

Hell for Colin clothing was already optional. Now he was there wearing a suit. Playing the part. And doing it well. You couldn’t lie, though. He looked good as hell. Obviously you weren’t the only one to notice. The woman whispering in his ear right no clearly saw it too.

“Hey,” you said with a sigh. This dress was scratchy as hell, but it was cute. It was probably worth more than your rent so you were really trying to not mess it up. Fuck you felt awkward.

So, yeah things had been a little weird since they’d walked in on you on Colin’s lap. Not that they could see that his pants had been undone from how you were but let’s just say the rest of the band had been doing this thing where they’d been trying to figure out your couple name ever since.

Still you didn’t know how to act around them. Especially since you’d left like your ass was on fire. Unlike with the whole girlfriend thing, the two of you didn’t get the chance to talk even a little after that. It felt like life was pulling the both of you in so many directions what were you even supposed to say. Sure the guys managed to squeeze their jokes in but other than that nothing.

You’d had photo shoots and meetings and just all kinds of shit. Sure this was definitely the life you wanted and you kind of appreciated the distraction. Didn’t mean you wanted to keep living in limbo with him. So it’s not like you’d been avoiding him so much as finding the time to have serious conversations was kind of not there.

At the same time it’s like were you even prepared for whatever he had to say. You don’t give a guy head and then make out with him for him to stop and start with ‘I just don’t think-‘ and expect him to say something not terrible. Especially not a guy like Colin. Even if you were holding out hope.

You knew his track record going into it. Which is why those rules had been in place. You’d been around a thousand Colin’s. You knew how it went. It was hit it and quit it every time. What made you different. If he really wanted to talk he would have. Nothing had ever kept him from telling you dumb shit all the time. Suddenly he couldn’t text?

Whatever. You didn’t even want to care. This was about the music. It was your fault anyway. You’d known better than to get tangled up in him but you’d done it anyway. You’d just have to live with that.

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” He asked.

You shrugged with a sigh. “I dunno. Was just thinking about keeping a low profile. I’m not really feeling it right now.”

Ryan frowned. “You know Colin doesn’t care,” he replied with a chuckle. “You know how he gets.”

“That’s fine,” you replied with a small smile with a shrug, bringing your glass of whiskey up to your lips. Thank goddess for an open bar, though, right. At least that would help you through the night.

“Okay so,” Colin said finally coming over to plop down beside you on a barstool,“how we feeling about an after party?”

You shrugged while him and Ryan started talking it over. If anything you’d probably go back to the hotel but whatever.

You rested your chin on your fists as the boys talked. It’s not that you wanted to be sad girl right now. You should be the happiest you’d ever been and you were but fuck this is gonna sound so lame but you missed your best friend. But no you forgot to wear underwear and now apparently neither of you knew how to act around each other.

“What about you?” He asked. “You know we’re no good without our fearless leader.”

“I thought this was a party,” you said setting your glass down. “I didn’t realize I was leading you into battle.”

Colin chuckled. “Oh it’s us against the world, Baby. There’s always a war.” He winked as he grabbed your glass. Not even phased when you protested and made grabby hands for it. “I’ll get you a new one if you say yes.”

“Eat a dick,” you grumbled then tried to get the bartender’s attention.

“Who pissed in your iced coffee?” He asked with a chuckle. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Better than whatever the fuck this is.” Can’t argue with that.

You shrugged. “I’ll see. I’m kinda tired.”

He pouted. “Don’t be a party pooper. Come on. Don’t you wanna hang with us. Keep us out of trouble.”

“Keep him out of trouble,” Ryan corrected making you laugh.

“Yes. Fine. Keep me out of trouble.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Come on. I’ll make it worth it.”

“How?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well,” he started as he thought, “I’m already taking you out for breakfast tomorrow so that’s out.”

“You are?” You asked with a chuckle. This was news to you.

“Um, duh,” he said before poking your side. “Why wouldn’t I?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not that serious.”

Colin sighed, rolling his eyes. “Come on. I promise it’ll be fun.” He nudged you. Then his face softened. “Do you really not wanna go?”

No, but even though you were irritated with him you still felt like a lovesick puppy. And his eyes had gotten all romantic looking. It was so hard not giving in to him.

That’s how you found yourself out in the New York air. Crossing your arms in front of you. “What’s this?” You asked as you walked up to a limo.

“Our ride,” he said, into your ear.

“Hey, Colin,” the woman greeted him with a smile as she walked passed to get in. “You coming?”

He had the nerve to smile at you all brightly as he grabbed your arm. “Isn’t this cool,” he said as he sat beside her. You on the other side of him. Why didn’t you just go back to the fucking hotel when you had the chance.

The entire way to the party was filled with them laughing and talking. The entire time you were thinking say something, anything, but no you sat there awkward as hell. Ryan and your drummer James were sort of trying to include you while your rhythm guitarist Parker had decided to go to the hotel. You wish you’d just gone with him. You knew that’d be your first mistake.

You hated being in such a sour mood. Especially with so many people around. “You want a drink or something?” Colin asked into your ear, trying to talk over the loud music. You sighed, putting on another smile on as you nodded.

You tried to follow behind him, but this place was crowded. Looking back you saw that Ryan and James were no longer next to you either. Shit. Way to make this situation better, right.

Well Colin was right at least. This was better than that place crawling in suits. You walked along trying to find at least one of the men you came with and you were officially over it. Then you saw the balcony and decided to check out there next.

The fresh air was kind of nice. Maybe you just needed to clear your head for a minute. Hell you were ready to go to bed anyway.

Maybe tomorrow you’ll spend the day in the city. Doing whatever you wandered upon. No thinking about the next few months and how everything’s going to go from zero to one hundred. Not that you weren’t looking forward to it, but for now you wanted to welcome a little bit of peace.

Hopefully there’d be no thoughts about a certain guitar player either. That you doubt, but you could try. You yawned and groaned. Fuck it you’re leaving.

“Of all the people I thought I might see tonight,” a familiar voice said before you could get inside.

That voice made you stiffen. Then you started groaning as you turned to face him. “As if my night couldn’t get any worse. What are you even doing here?”

“What you think you’re the only one that gets invited to parties?” He asked.

When you’d parted from your last band, it wasn’t exactly the nicest situation. You always made your rule clear even if you’d broke it with Colin. Even with him it’s not like he did what Andrew did.

Things had been going okay with them, but it was nothing like now. This time around it felt so real. Like musically you were meant to be. Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to ruin things by blowing up even if Colin was sending you enough mixed signals to write an album about.

Back then though. It wasn’t like this. Yeah you liked your other bandmates back then, but with Colin, Ryan, and James it almost felt like a family. You all meshed. You all got along. Despite everything going on you loved them.

With Andrew’s band there was never a connection. You played. You went home. Over and done with. So the night he corned you, trying to kiss you it came out of nowhere. When you told the rest of them didn’t care. You were replaceable. Then you saw that flyer and decided to say fuck it and quit.

“What are you doing here?” He asked now, taking out a cigarette.

You shrugged. “That’s none of your business.”

He scoffed. “Heard you guys got signed. Who’d you sleep with to manage that?”

“Well, it wasn’t you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Who you here with? The new guys you’re blowing?”

You clenched your jaw before taking a deep breath. He didn’t know. Who the fuck cares. So you started walking away because you really did not give two shits.

“Yeah, my friend Dina was telling me you fucked her ex,” he said.

Your back stiffened as you stopped. Closing your eyes. God you wanted to scream at him, but he wasn’t worth the trouble. Wasn’t worth causing a scene. That’s what you told yourself last time and that’s what you were telling yourself now.

“Yeah said she walked in on you too,” he said coming up behind you.

“Dina doesn’t know what what she’s talking about.” You took a deep breath then bit your tongue, but still didn’t turn to face him.

“Well she sure had a lot to say. About how much of a whore you turned into after being a little tease.”

You closed your eyes suddenly feeling sick. You shouldn’t let it get to you. You knew it but fuck. This is why you didn’t do this. You didn’t need the drama.

“Dude, fuck off,” you finally said wrapping your arms around yourself as tried walking away again, trying to tune out whatever shit was spewing out of his mouth.

Promising yourself that you wouldn’t cry. Eyes finally catching Colin’s as he did a grin spread and then quickly fell from his face. Standing around the same girl from earlier. At least he managed to keep up with her.

He started walking towards you without a word and seeing his way was the only way towards the exit there was no avoiding him. That’s when you felt fingers grabbing at your wrist. Twisting your arm so you had no choice but to face him.

In between the, “you little sl-“ and Colin pushing him away from you, you’d ended knocking into someone. Beer spilling on the front of your dress. Way to make a shitty moment even worse guys. This was a fucking loan. Thanks for that. Fuck tonight just wasn��t your night huh.

“I’m so sorry,” a drunk girl slurred, putting her hands on your shoulders.

“No it’s okay,” you sighed feeling your eyes prickle with tears. Fuck you hated it. Your chest suddenly feeling tight. You had to get the fuck out of here.

As soon as you made it to the elevator you took a deep breath. Closing your eyes and leaning down the wall as the doors closed.

“What the hell was that?” Colin said. You squeezed your eyelids. The little bit of frustration that had left, coming back in an instant. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, grabbing your hand. “What the hell happened?”

“Stop,” you said, snatching it away. “Just… stop.” Your heart felt like it was sinking into your chest. You just wanted to eat and shower snd sleep. Fine fuck it. Shower and sleep. You’ll eat in the morning. You just wanted Colin to stop following you and for him to shut up.

“Hey!” He stopped you as soon as you got off. “What’s wrong? Just tell me what happened.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to care okay.” You shrugged. “You weren’t thinking about me ten minutes ago.”

“What do you mean I was looking all over for you,” he said furrowing his eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes again. Ugh it felt like you couldn’t stop. “Yeah, it sure looked like it.”

“I was. You can ask Ryan and James. Alyssa was helping me.”

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid, Colin?” You asked raising your eyebrow. “I get it. We messed around and you’re a fuckboy or whatever. It’s not like I was expecting to be different or something. You do this all the time. That’s fine but you don’t have to pretend like you give a shit. And I’m the fucking idiot for thinking you would because I thougt-” your voice broke as you just shook your head and walked away.

Colin stood there looking stunned. Feeling like he was one second away from puking. Finally taking a deep breath when he realized that if he didn’t catch up to you know you’d get into a taxi without him.

“Wait, Y/N,” he called out.

But you didn’t turn around. Heart thumping in your chest. You blew out your cheeks and rested your head against the window. Feeling there was a lump in your throat.

You felt like such a baby. All teary eyed in a cab. Red eyed as you made your way to your room. Crying in the shower. Then not stopping as you settled into bed. And for what. You fucking up the one thing you always told yourself. Listening to your stupid vagina. And your heart as much as you hated to admit it.

Not only was it stressful to think about what this would do for the band, but you and Colin had really built up the best connection. Now what happens. You’re not gonna get that with someone else. And that was the worst part.

Your eyes were so heavy, but you were suddenly so awake. All that complaining about being tired. Now look you can’t even sleep. Your head felt too heavy. Nose too stuffy, too.

You scrolled through your phone. And may or may not have done a small dive into who this Alyssa girl could be. Then message after message started rolling in now that it was a little passed midnight. You’d get to them in the morning. You’d also stole his weed pen so you could relax a little bit.

So. Sucks to be him.

That’s when you heard the door open. Stomach flipping and mouthing, ‘fuck.’ Dropping your phone because if you could pretend you were asleep maybe he’d leave you fuck alone. Ugh he probably got the key from the front desk.

The television was still on and it’s not like he’d never walked in on you sleep in front of the TV before so he’d think nothing of it. Your back was facing the door so it’s not like he could see you. You’ll take your chances.

You heard crinkling and him shuffling a little, but you were mostly trying to be quiet. A few moments later you heard him getting down on his knees beside you. “Hey,” he whispered into your ear before kissing your temple.

Nope. Go away.

“I know you’re awake you little thief.” He chuckled, but then stopped when he realized you clearly weren’t giving in. Turning over away from him. Colin took a deep breath. “Babe, I’m sorry.”

Your eyebrow raised. Okay so maybe you weren’t expecting that.

“I’m sorry I lost you tonight,” he sighed. “I’m sorry for not talking about things sooner. And if I made you think there was anything going on with me and Alyssa. Who does not like me by the way. She’s into Ryan,” he added, with a chuckle.

You snorted out a laugh. “Seriously?” Finally breaking your silence.

“Uh huh.” He laughed. “I know right. They kept dragging me between them once he found out. I felt like I was in fucking middle school.”

Then it got quiet.

“I’m sorry if I made you think you were just a booty call,” he finally said.

Your eyes opened, but you still didn’t turn to face him. You weren’t really sure what you were supposed to say or do if you did.

“You have always been more than a booty call. I get that I’ve done things before, but I’d never treat you like that. Why do you think we haven’t had sex. I couldn’t have our first time be on that gross fucking couch.”

… fair.

Ugh.

UGH.

You wanted to pull his hair. Not even in the sexy way. He was so annoying. Why couldn’t you just have been asleep so you could have been mad at him for a little longer.

Colin didn’t wait for you to respond as he got in behind you. Scooping you into his arms from behind. “You’re my best friend, Baby. I’d never fuck us up. I don’t wanna lose you.” Then he started kissing your cheek softly.

“You’re so annoying,” you mumbled, but still didn’t turn over.

“Maybe,” he said. “But it’s cuz I can’t stand when you’re mad at me.” He sighed wrapping you up in his arms. “Remember that one time? And it was just over lyrics.” He chuckle. Then when he realized you weren’t laughing he sighed again. “I promise I’ll make tomorrow better. Well today. Or whatever. You know what I mean.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t run in here on some I have to be the first shit.” You finally turned to look at him and he was quick to kiss your forehead. Eyes ask puffy. Nosy really stuffy. He didn’t care. Just wanted to have his lips on you.

“I am, but now I can’t stop apologizing.” He chuckled. “I really am sorry.”

“We can work on your road to forgiveness plan.”

“As long as you’re the one paving it I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so corny.”

“Maybe.” He chuckled. “I’m just trying to get you to smile.”

You sniffled. God he was so annoying. “I know.”

He looked at you softly before swiping his lips across yours. “Okay now I’m gonna be the first person. Happy birthday, Baby.”

Another sniffle as you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling softly. “Thank you. How do you know you’re the first?”

“Oh you’re cool because all our little fan girls are wishing you a happy birthday,” he said with a laugh.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Never. You deserve it.”

“Stop being such a fucking sap right now.” You whined pushing him away.

“Nope. I actually have a surprise for you,” he said, letting go so he could get out of bed. “No peeking!” Then he kissed your cheek again.

Of course you weren’t gonna listen, but since he wasn’t made of glass you couldn’t see. His body blocking whatever view you may have had. Just heard the flicker of a lighter.

“So, I was gonna go with the old fashioned flowers and chocolate for an apology,” he started. “But since it’s your birthday,” he said as he turned around with a little cake in his hands, freshly lit numeral candles on top.

As he softly started to sing happy birthday you felt yourself tearing up again. Of course he had to do something like this. Sappy asshole. Just had to make it impossible to stay mad at him.

Now you were sitting with your legs criss crossed applesauce across from him. Not being able to help the smile that spread across your face.

“Make a wish, Baby,” he said. As you blew out the flame he looked at you softly. That same stupid romantic look in his eyes. And it was like you couldn’t help yourself as you started to lean in. Lips connecting and it almost felt relieving.

Colin pulled away for a minute to set the cake on the night stand. Going back to you he pull you onto his lap. Lips moving against yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck then put your hands in his hair.

He laid you down. Thumb stroking your cheek. Tongues finally meeting. Kisses deep. Now sleep was the farthest thing from your mind. You just wanted to feel him.

All of the thoughts about how that was it had melted away. If he was going to be serious about this than you wanted it. Wanted him. “Colin,” you whimpered. His lips going against your throat.

“What do you want, Baby?” He asked in a whisper.

“You.”

Clothes started to be removed. Hands and lips going to intimate spots. Like between your legs as he made sure your pussy would be ready for him. His mouth touching you just how you needed. Moans and sighs spilling from your lips.

“Y/N, Baby,” he whispered as he wrapped his arm around your leg so he could spread you open for him. Getting snug between your thighs as he lined himself up. “You sure? We don’t have-“

You cut him off with a kiss. He obviously got the message as he started to push into you. The head of his cock already making your head spin.

“Colin,” you whimpered against his lips.

“That’s it,” he said. “It’s okay. I got you.”

You nodded and moaned, foreheads resting against each other. Looking into those soft blue eyes as he inched in. “Ah,” you squeaked.

“You’ve got this,” he whispered into your ear as he finally bottomed out. Staying still for a moment so you could could used to him. Fuck he was big. You don’t think you’d ever felt this full before.

Hips rocking slowly as his lips went back to yours again. “Colin,” you whimpered again.

“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered as he looked down at you.

“More?”

“Tell me what you do want, Baby. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Harder. Please.” Fuck you felt desperate. He was just filling you up so good. Just how you needed him.

He pressed his lips to yours as he started getting deeper. Rolling his hips into yours. Then pushing your arm above your head with his hands holding yours down.

“Right there!” You pulled away with a gasp.

“Where?” He asked into your ear not stopping what he was doing before pulling your earlobe between his teeth. Nibbling on it. Making your eyes go blurry.

“Oh,” you let out another little squeak. That wasn’t good enough for Colin, though. He wanted you to scream his name.

He raised up off of you. Getting on his knees and pushing your legs up by your ears. Hands on the back of your thighs.

Every time he went in, your body bounced from the force. Pussy squeezing him tight. He looked between you seeing the way your wetness covered him. “Fuck,” he groaned. “Pussy even prettier with my dick in it.”

Why was he doing this to you. Was it not enough that he was about to turn you inside out? He had to talk to you like that too. Why was he trying to ruin you like this. He was fucking you like he wanted to be the only man to fuck you. Maybe he did. Maybe you wanted him to be.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah!” You cried out

“That’s it. That’s what I like to fucking hear. Doing so good for me, Baby,” he groaned. “Gonna fuck you all night. Keep you full a me. Want that?”

“Uh huh,” was all you could say. Your orgasm was hitting you so hard. “Colin. I’m cumming.” It was like you were weeping. “Oh my god.”

“Fuck yeah,” he groaned as your pussy tightened around him. Orgasm gushing out of you. “That’s my girl,” he said as he put his hand on your clit. Coaxing it out even more. “Keep cumming for me, Baby. That’s it.”

It happened so quickly. One minute he was fucking into you and then the next his face was between your thighs. If he was trying to make you squirt he got his wish. Your legs shaking, body spasming as he forced you there.

You covered your eyes with your hand just as he pushed back into you. Where he grabbed your arm to push it up so you were no longer covered. “Don’t you ever cover yourself, you hear me,” he said as he started fucking into you again. “I want you to look at me when I make you cum.” He put his lips against your chin.

Fuck. This was gonna be a long night.

You don’t know how many times you’d orgasmed. Just that it felt like once they started they didn’t stop. Just the way he was getting you there and trying to keep you there was almost too much. As soon as he came in you, you were ready to pass out. Your body officially worn out. But forced yourself to use the bathroom before bed even though walking really didn’t seem like a great option at the moment.

Then you got back in his arms. Snuggling into him. Colin holding you tight. It felt like where you were supposed to be.

As the sunlight broke, you were so worn out that you stayed like that for a minute. Him waking up first with your head tucked under his chin. Yawning and checking the time. Not that he cared. He’d stay like this for as long as you wanted him to.

When you started to stir, he nuzzled you with his nose. Kissing your forehead gently. “Morning, Birthday Girl,” he whispered in a raspy voice.

You moaned and stretched. Putting your head in his neck again. “Not yet.”

He chuckled. “We have to get to brunch.”

“There’s always dinner. I’m tired.”

He smacked your butt. “No, no, no. I’m not letting you sleep the day away. I gotta make up for yesterday.”

“Make up for yesterday by being my pillow. And we can have sex in between.”

Colin laughed softly. “As tempting as that is, we gotta get up.”

You took a deep breath out your nose. “Fine, but I get to pick off your plate.”

“When do you not?” He rubbed your back. Colin reached over to grab his phone to check the time. “Wait, what the fuck,” he chuckled.

“What?” You asked, with a yawn.

“James said, ‘I’m happy for you guys really but we’re going to breakfast without you if you don’t hurry up. Happy birthday y/n.”

You laughed. “What?”

“The one before it was stop having sex we’re hungry. Ryan said, ‘Colin stop being the Yoko Ono of this ba-‘I’m the Yoko On- oh now they’re fighting about it.”

You snorted. “They’re gonna argue about this all day, aren’t they?”

“Yeah probably.” Colin laughed.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

#Colin Shea smut #chris evans smut #Colin Shea x black!reader #Colin Shea x reader #Colin Shea x female!reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x black!reader

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neocrush · 3 years

Text

— enhypen reaction to hearing you sing for the first time !

genre: fluff + established relationship for heeseung and sunoo

pairings: idol!enhypen x gn!reader

note: requested by anon ♡

★ heeseung

you got into an argument, a dumb one actually

but you both being the stubborn people you are, you decided to give each other the silent treatment

you couldn’t handle it much longer

you just wanted to say sorry and cuddle with him

but then again - you didn’t wanna deflate your ego

so directly speaking to him was a no-no

so you sat there in his bed, grabbing his guitar and started strumming it

until you started playing and singing get you by daniel caesar

heeseung must’ve heard you as he slowly walked towards his room, pressing his ear on the door

he didn’t know you could play the guitar and sing

pls he had massive heart eyes

was convinced he fell in love with you all over again

he completely forgot the argument ever happened and just barged in

“you’re the love of my life.”

you stopped playing and singing and just went *instert shocked pikachu face*

“can you sing for me? please?” and you just shake your head no

pouts and gives you puppy eyes

you give in and kiss his cheek “fine, but only if you do it with me”

he nods and cuddles you as you both sing each other to sleep

★ jay

you were a new trainee at belift and he was at the studio, preparing a new song with jake and a producer

the producer had called you in to record a demo for one of the hybe groups

he wasn’t that fazed when you entered the room - the both of you having a mask and bucket hat on

as you entered the recording booth, you removed your mask and hat

you listen to the instrumental and re-read the lyrics once again as you asked the producer if you could record the song without instrumental first

the producer agreed and started recording

you got straight into the chorus, surprising jay

that specific part was in a very high key and he was shocked at how effortlessly you sang it at the first try

the recording went pretty well

but the way jay kept on looking back and forth between the lyrics he was writing and you in the booth didn’t go unnoticed by jake

you were done and had to return to practice as you bowed to the boys and producer - leaving the room

jake nudges jay, signalling him to go follow you and at least say something

jay took the hint and left the studio

“y/n!” he called out and you turned around

“your voice is beautiful. would you want to record with me- i mean enhypen some time?”

★ jake

you were part of a girl band

you played the bass and was also the lead singer

your company - a fairly small one - was just recently bought by bang pd so you were under hybe labels

your group used to perform for different high school festivals and you just happened to have performed at sunoo’s

after hearing the news that you were under hybe too, sunoo begged his members to come with him see your band at the company

“sunoo they’re there to practice, not to do free concerts” - jungwon

jake chuckled and he was the only one who agreed to come with sunoo

“hyung did you know their lead singer is the same age as you” sunoo said wiggling his brows as they both made their way to your practice room

jake just shook his head at his younger member

hearing a familiar melody, sunoo dragged the older member to what he was sure was your practice room

“sunoo you can’t just barge i-“

was he seeing an angel?????

“sunoo i thought they did rock”

“yeah but they have bsides in other genres too yknow”

you were singing your solo song twilight

jake nodded and watched you in awe, admiring how into the song you were

your members weren’t there and it may seem lonely but your voice echoing throughout the room made the atmosphere feel heavenly

once the song was over, sunoo cheered and clapped his hands as you grew shy, finally acknowledging their presence

the two boys introduced themselves to you and you did the same to them

you chuckled as you saw jake fumble on his words

“i know who you guys are, i watched your very good cover. you should try doing rock sometime, it seriously fits you guys!” you complimented them

as they grew shy, you couldn’t help but notice jake’s unique smile and how he plays with his hands when he’s nervous

“do you wanna grab lunch with us?”

“is the jake sim asking me out?”

“is the y/n l/n rejecting me?”

you both laughed as sunoo playfully rolled his eyes and you went to go get lunch with the two

★ sunghoon

you were at karaoke with the guys

all of them were having the time of their lives, doing song after song without taking breaks

jay and riki were singing new face and you were busting your lungs out watching them get tired of the never-ending song

remember when yoongi went “when does this song end” when bts was singing new face during that one run episode? yeah that’s them

when the song finally finished, jungwon noticed how you have been laughing and just sitting there the whole time

so he took the mic and pointed at you

that little shit

sunoo had already queued asap by stayc for him to sing, but jungwon insisted that you sing it since you should at least sing one song

“but that’s my song!” - sunoo

“sunoo you can do the choreo while y/n sings” - jungwon

sunoo nods, also wanting to hear you sing

(ps he wanted to do the choreo lol)

you refused and kept shaking your head until your crush, sunghoon, placed his hand on your shoulder, making your heart do backflips

“cmonnnn y/n, please?” he pouted at you

finally giving in, you stand up and grab the mic from jungwon

starting the song, your body was stiff

but once you reached the chorus, you and sunoo were doing the choreo while you sang with a big smile on your face

not you being a whole kpop idol whoop

sunghoon couldn’t help but look at you and smile to himself and blush - you looked so cute and your voice was so addicting

you even lipsynced the “i think you’re really cool” part (the one before the chorus) while winking at him

the song really brought out your inner confidence as you made sunghoon a flustered mess

once you were all finished and went home, riki showed you a video he took of sunghoon when you were singing

“dude i swear he’s super into you! look at him smiling ear-to-ear!!! he looks like he just saw an angel”

“oh shut up riki”

you mentally thanked jungwon for setting you up like that

★ sunoo

“can you sing me to sleep please?” you asked sunoo asked with puppy eyes

he poked your cheeks, nodding

“you’re so cute. of course i’ll sing you to sleep baby”

getting in bed with him, he started playing with your hair and caressing your shoulder

he softly sang love is not over by bts

what took him by surprise was that you suddenly joined in, harmonizing with him

he knew you liked music but wasn’t aware that you had such an amazing voice

he held your hand as you both finished singing the song, giggling

“baby you have the sweetest voice ever, you should sing more often” he playfully pouted

you softly laughed as you moved his bangs out frame, kissing his forehead

“i’ll only sing for you darling, i don’t want others to fall for me”

he playfully hit you as you laughed at your own joke

facing you, he looked into your eyes

“i love you so much.”

you blushed at his words

“i love you even more sunoo.”

★ jungwon

your group and enhypen were appearing on weekly idol together

your members kept on teasing you because you had previously revealed that jungwon was your ideal type on knowing bros

what you said garnered a lot of attention from knetz and engenes, some negative but most of them positive

“they would make an adorable couple”

“i wanna see them sing together”

“their visuals together would shake the whole country”

you were glad engenes didn’t hate your guys for being open about your admiration towards the boy

you being nervous was an understatement - this was your first time seeing jungwon in real life

and you expected the hosts to bring up what you said about him so you were prepared to face him directly

pls this sounds like ur about to have a boxing match w him

anyways filming started out okay until the hosts (ofc) brought up what you said

a few laughs here and there but suddenly they had an idea

“so you’re the main vocal, correct?”

you nodded at one of the hosts

“that’s perfect because it’s time for our karaoke session!”

you ended up getting paired up with jungwon to sing just one day by bts

you made eye contact the whole time and it didn’t take a genius to see the instant chemistry

your voices went so well with each other that even you and his members were shocked at how heavenly you both sounded together

you were both smiling and you could just melt right then and there

once you were done, you covered your face with your hands as you were a blushing mess

your members and enhypen clapped and one of the hosts went “you guys should sing an ost together”

you both got super shy and the rest of filming went well

a month passed and the episode aired

engenes and your fans went insane on sns and knetz were demanding a collab

it wasn’t anything serious until your ceo brought you in in a meeting with hybe executives and he popped up the question

“how would you like to feature in enhypen’s newest album?”

★ riki

your classmates were cleaning the classroom as it was the last week of the whole school year

you were sweeping the floor, humming the song that was silently playing in the background as the room was filled with chatter

riki was removing the decorations on the walls, listening to your soft hums

the songs that were being played were fairly calm

until a more energetic song suddenly played

your classmates suddenly became all energetic when i can’t stop me by twice started playing

you smiled, singing along

you were just playing around but you didn’t realize that you just hit nayeon’s high notes

“woah! y/n??? you’re really good”

you saw that riki was listening the whole time (and so was the rest of the class lol) and you got shy

you shook your head and stopped singing

“no keep going!” - a classmate

you gave in and went on with the song and riki gave you a “you’re so awesome” look

once the song was over, your classmates started playing even more hype song

a guy went “lets do karaoke!”

a girl chimed in “y/n has to go first!”

riki softly laughed and nudged you to go sing

you used the broom in your hand as a fake mic and mic stand as you sang blue hour by txt

he filmed you, zooming in on your smiling face

he was sure going to cherish that video forever

569 notes · View notes

taetaesbaebaepsae · 3 years

Text

Lunar Violence (jjk)

Summary: You’re not a big fan of your best friend’s favorite band, Lunar Violence. Their werewolf gimmick makes you roll your eyes, even if the music isn’t too bad. When she drags you to a concert just as the blood moon rises, though, everything changes.

Warnings: werewolf sex, possessive behavior, choking, knotting, marking, heats and ruts so whatever consent issues you feel are within that realm, unrpotected sex, werewolf dick, abo dynamics

Word Count:7445

Rating: Explicit

You're not normally a fan of gimmicks, particularly with your music. So when your best friend begs you for a solid week to go with her to this concert, you're wary when you do a simple Google search.

Lunar Violence might be the dumbest fucking name for a band you've ever heard, but they certainly seem like they're going for a certain vibe. You'd definitely have been into it when you were a teen, the fake fangs, the facial piercings and torn leather pants, the howling they do at the ends of some of their songs.

The music itself isn't bad, the lead singer is stupid hot and has a smooth low tenor and bedroom eyes.

You flip through only a few of the member pictures before making a decision based on the fact that they're good eye candy, at least.

Your friend Jia jumps up and down excitedly when you tell her and shows you the signs she's made. She's got a thing for the one they call Happy, a lean bassist who has a bright smile and a sexy glare.

"What are with these names? The seven dwarfs? I think they're mixing metaphors."

Jia snorts. "They call the drummer Baby because he's the youngest. It’s not that dumb and the music is really good, you’ll love it, I promise!"

"This is so dumb. You owe me."

"If I get close enough to Happy to make eye contact I'm gonna make him mine and then I'll give you anything you want." Jia says determinedly.

It’s a few weeks before the concert, so you find yourself listening to a few albums and actually getting pretty excited about it. It should be a fun time, get you away from the stress of your every day life, at the least.

You had no way of knowing that the night of the concert would complicate your life tenfold.

“Do we always have to schedule concerts around rutting season?” Namjoon whines after hitting yet another wrong chord on his guitar.

“It’s the best part about this job!” Hoseok grins.

“I can’t fucking concentrate being horny all the time, I agree with Joon,” Yoongi agrees, banging his forehead down on the keyboard.

“Should have called you Horny rather than Lucky,” Seokjin snorts, and Hoseok laughs so hard he nearly knocks over his bass guitar.

Jungkook watches them with a fond smile on his face, his brothers. Not by blood, of course but being the only werewolves in the city made them have an instant connection and camaraderie, and they’d created a pack pretty quickly. The music had come later, they’d all been interested in it, all had some talent and all been blessed with good looks, and after that it was only a matter of who did what and stage names.

Kim Seokjin, with his regal looks and sharp jaw: Prince.

Min Yoongi, with the scar over his left eye he’d gotten scrapping with a grey wolf in the woods behind his house in Daegu as a pup: Lucky.

Jung Hoseok with his easy smile and eager nature: Happy.

Kim Namjoon, always so serious and intelligent: Beethoven.

Park Jimin, with his pretty face and sneaky smirk: Sly.

Kim Taehyung with his sweet nature and affectionate personality: Honey.

Finally, Jeon Jungkook, because he'd been barely old enough to breed when they'd met: Baby.

"Baby hasn't had his first rut yet, yeah?" It's Jimin, smirking, always giving Jungkook grief about something.

Jungkook narrows his eyes and chucks a drumstick at him but it's no use, Jimin catching it in one band and twirling it like a goddamn baton. Jungkook would say Jimin was graceful if he hadn't seen him fall off about a dozen barstools and half a dozen stages, sober even for the latter.

“Kinda late, isn’t it?” Seokjin speaks up, and Jungkook knows he’s teasing but it stings a little, nonetheless.

“He’s only just turned 23. You were two weeks from your 23rd before you ever popped a knot, hyung, or have you forgotten?” Namjoon snarks, and Jungkook snickers as Seokjin makes a face, that vein on his neck pulsing just a bit.

He shouldn’t laugh, they’re just as likely to come to blows during the beginning of a rut and in a full moon cycle, but he can’t help himself

Yoongi, as usual, manages to keep the peace by offering to order pizza and foot the bill, a truly saintlike act since they could go through a pizza each, as hot as their temperature would be running by now.

Jungkook doesn’t say that he’s had a knot for two years now, the very thought of his hyungs knowing that makes him blush so much he hides it by wiping his face with a towel, pretending to have been sweating.

Truly, he should have had a rut by now, triggered by all the pheromones' from the shows they’d been doing, this tour had been particularly rough due to the upcoming blood moon, at least for all the other boys, and it isn’t as if Jungkook hasn’t mated, of course, but a full rut? Not even the hint of it. It worries him, but Namjoon keeps assuring him that everyone gets there in time, people are just different.

Taehyung had been a late bloomer himself, not starting his first rut until he met and fell in love with his girlfriend, a short feisty redhead he’d met after a hand injury from stringing his bass guitar and slicing his palm open. She’d been a nurse who scolded him for not coming in sooner and it’d been almost instant, her green eyes triggering every wolf thing about him, or at least that’s how he tells it, all wide eyed and dreamy.

She’s a near constant in Taehyung’s hotel rooms now, sometimes riding along on the tour bus, but he doesn’t let her into anymore of the concerts even when she pouts, because human mates around a group of wolves around rutting season can be a dangerous time.

Taehyung is one of the gentlest wolves Jungkook knows, but he’d seen him snarl when Yoongi so much as winked at the redhead near a rut, so it’s probably for the best.

Anyway, Jungkook wasn’t worried (much). He’d find his true mate eventually, but probably not at a concert. Maybe he’d start his rut there, at least, around the full moon. He’d never have imagined that he’d find both.

The crowd is nice enough, although they seem a little feral. Some of these girls have signs that should be x rated, but you're not one to judge, especially since you've never actually….done anything too x-rated.

You feel a little strange when you enter the concert venue and you can’t quite put your finger on it. You shrug and blame it on the strong drink your friend had made you chug before you entered since she couldn’t finish it all herself.

It’s like there’s something living under your skin, some rush like heat, and it makes you feel antsy, ready to dance along to the music or at least laugh at your friend losing her mind next to you.

There’s a lot of gimmick to the concert and it’s bright and dark at the same time near the stage. You’d swear you’d seen the guitarist strum with no pick, with a sharp claw instead, but you’re sure it’s makeup, part of the show. They’re wearing contacts, too, you’re pretty sure, and the music is good, your friend isn’t wrong.

The song you’d heard that you’d like is actually their encore song, heavy on the bass and drums, and the lead singer even makes your skin feel hot a little when he makes eye contact and winks at you. The last solo the lights come down on the drummer, he’s on the back stage so all you can see is his long hair bouncing, the flex of his admittedly impressive biceps as he finishes the song.

You’ve been jumping up and down and singing along so much that you’re sweating and feeling a bit dizzy, so you drag your friend out the back alley while she’s still swooning, having gotten a direct smile from her favorite bassist.

“Did you see him? He looked right at me! We’re in love, Y/n. Do you want to be my maid of honor?” She’s babbling when you hear the click of a lighter next to you.

There’s people milling about, it wasn’t exactly a sold out show but there was a decent crowd, and people are now piling into the bar next door.

“Did you like the show?”

When you turn your head you’re shocked to see that it’s the lead singer, a couple strands of his silver hair falling over his eye as he smiles at you.

“Oh. Oh, yes, I liked it very...very much,” you stammer. He’s even more handsome up close. Those are some really good contacts, you can’t tell they aren’t real at all, even though surely no one’s eyes are a violet color like that.

“Sly!” Your friend screams, and you jolt forward, surprised.

The singer’s hand lights on your shoulder and you look down. You have time to think that they must make great money for these expensive special effects because they sure do look like claws before your friend rushes past you, yelling because Happy had come out the back with the rest of the band.

There’s no mob or anything, maybe a dozen people other than you and Jia, but it makes you a bit anxious nonetheless, especially since you’re still feeling just as antsy, hot and dizzy as you were before.

It might be worse, actually, as you stand outside in the moonlight.

“Sly’s just my stage name.” His voice sounds softer, closer to your ear as he leans in. “You can call me Jimin.”

“O-okay,” you stutter, unused to feeling this way. You’re usually more outgoing, talkative, but it feels so strange. You find yourself looking up at the sky as if looking for the moon.

It’s better, once you’re inside the bar, there’s not as much of a crowd and you’re sitting at a big table with Sly...Jimin, you remind yourself, and Jia and Happy, who seems to fit his name well, laughing open and loud with your best friend as if they’ve known each other forever.

After a few hours and a couple of drinks you’ve lost most of that antsy feeling since being indoors, and you and Jimin vibe well, becoming fast friends. You’re both flirty and talkative after getting to know each other, and your mood is lifted from the concert, the alcohol, and the socialization.

You even laugh about calling their gimmick dumb as they dodge questions about where they get their makeup and accessories. You assume it’s some kind of sponsorship situation or contract, not thinking much of it.

You manage to excuse yourself long enough to look for the bathroom, although Jia abandons you since she’s made her way into Happy’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and with a blissful smile you’re not sure you’ve ever seen on her.

There’s someone standing in the hall and it’s a narrow hallway and he’s pretty wide from the back so you stumble a little when you turn, placing a hand on the wall.

“Oh, excuse me!” You say, brightly, but when he turns you gasp, a little surprised by the bright red of his eyes before you realize it’s another member of Lunar Violence.

“Hello,” he says, quietly with a little smile and he has these prominent front teeth that are pretty cute, make him look a lot less intimidating, despite those contacts and an eyebrow piercing and his size.

“Oh, hello! You’re…”

“Baby,” he blurts, and it makes you giggle.

You feel a little tipsier than you’d realized, and you guess it must be since you’ve been sitting down for an hour or so and just gotten up.

He puts a hand over his face, embarrassed. “My name is Jungkook,” he explains. “I’m the drummer?”

It’s cute how his voice pitches up into a question, as if you wouldn’t recognize him. He’s definitely a bit more modest than the other two members you’d met, with Jimin and Happy (who you’d just learned also goes by Hoseoki), bragging about tours and performances.

“Pretty big for a baby,” you tease, and he makes an embarrassed sound in the back of his throat.

“I keep trying to get them to let me change it,” he mutters.

You introduce yourself and he smiles again, and his eyes aren’t as red as you’d thought at first, anyway, maybe it’s just the light. You brush past him as you continue to the bathroom after excusing yourself, and it’s a little zing through you, like static electricity.

It takes you longer in the bathroom than it usually would, that last drink really must have packed a punch, and when you return to the table Jungkook is sitting there, too, next to your empty chair. Jimin looks a little sullen and pouty, but he smiles at you, those violet eyes crinkling up at the corners, and you give him a bright smile back.

Jungkook, on the other hand, is all energy, jiggling his leg and tapping his fingers on the table and Hoseok seems to be watching him intently.

The atmosphere in general seems to have changed, and after exchanging numbers with everyone with the urging of Jia, you two excuse yourself.

The three men walk you outside and Jimin is close while Jungkook hangs back. You imagine Jimin is so close since you mentioned feeling a bit dizzy and he asks you twice if he can call you a car but you tell him that the fresh air will do you good.

It’s funny, the moonlight seems to energize you a bit. When Jimin leans in to kiss you on the cheek, you jump a little at a sound behind you, something like a bark.

Jimin jolts back a little, eyes widening, and you both laugh at your nerves.

“Stray dog,” you remark, and Jimin snorts.

“Something like that.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “So what exactly the fuck happened after I left?”

Jimin is sullen on the couch, arms crossed over his chest with a busted lip and Jungkook is sitting next to Hoseok on the floor on the other side of the hotel room with tissue up his nose, Hoseok tilting his head back.

“Baby is about to go into rut,” Taehyung sings, laughing, his girlfriend draped over him on the bed drowsily, his teeth marks littering her neck and throat.

“Don’t,” Yoongi warns. “Everyone’s just wound up. Full moon is in two days, after all, cut him some slack.”

“Sees one girl he likes and suddenly no one else can talk to her,” Jimin complains, gingerly working his tongue across his lip ring to see if it’s torn.

“You tried to kiss her,” Jungkook growls, and Hoseok pushes on his chest to keep him from getting up.

Jungkook can’t explain why his wolf wanted to rip Jimin’s throat out when he leaned in to kiss you, he’d just met you, didn’t even know your last name, but it was visceral, sudden, something crawling up his throat. He’d almost moved forward to do it before Hoseok said his name, sharply.

“We all get a little possessive about potential mates around the full moon,” Namjoon reasons. “But that’s not the way to handle it, Jungkook.”

Jungkook hangs his head and removes the tissue from his nose with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry, hyung.” He looks over at Jimin but he means it for Namjoon. He’s still bitter, somehow, about Jimin’s hand on your lower back, his lips brushing your cheek. It makes his head feel fuzzy, his guts roll.

Namjoon, on the other hand, had been the one to “discover” Jungkook, back when he had no idea why his eyes were starting to change color with the moon cycles or why his nails grew out like claws. He’d started learning percussion just to get rid of some of the energy he had around those times, and he’d been 17 when Namjoon approached him in a music store when Jungkook was looking into buying cymbals.

Jungkook had been abandoned when he was a baby, adopted at four years old and he had no idea about his wolf lineage, or even that they existed, until Namjoon explained it to him.

“Jungkook doesn’t know his lineage,” Namjoon reminds them all. “He might just be presenting as an alpha, that’s a lot around the full moon, Jimin, you remember.”

Jimin grumbles something under his breath and Jungkook has to take a deep breath through his nostrils, smelling iron from their scuffle earlier, in order not to lunge across the room and hit him again.

Eventually, Jungkook has to move to his own room despite usually bunking with Jimin, and he finds himself unable to sleep, staring at the ceiling. He keeps seeing your bright smile, your curls bouncing around as you talked and laughed, mostly at Jimin, and it makes him stiffen to think of how Jimin had met you first.

Why did it matter, anyway? You’re just a person, just like he is, just a girl, and he doesn’t have the best track record with talking to girls, anyway. You’d been in the front row, with your friend who Hoseok had gotten so smiley about, he’d seen you just before he started his set, his vision clearer around the full moon.

The others laughed at him for how he talked about “the wolf,” as if it wasn’t a part of him, as if it wasn’t who he was, but that’s how it had always felt. He just hadn’t had a name for it until he’d met Namjoon. It was like this thing, inside him, this beast, something that clawed and scratched to get out.

Seokjin keeps telling him that he’s fighting the wolf, that’s why he hasn’t gone into rut or popped his knot, that’s why he feels so achy and fidgety around the moon cycles, that’s why he hasn’t shifted. Namjoon would always respond there was no way to know that but Seokjin just rolled his eyes.

“Aish, I’m your hyung, listen to me. I fought mine, too, when I was young, and when I shifted I broke a few bones. You should give in, let it ride in the front seat once in a while.”

Jungkook had nodded at the time but now, he doesn’t know how to do that. Drumming helped, it was a lot of work and energy expelled and it felt like he could let him out, the wolf, just a little. It’s why he’d gotten so big, staying active and lifting weights was something the wolf liked.

The wolf came sometimes when he masturbated, too, when he’d feel particularly worked up around the full moon, after a concert, sweaty and rolling his hips into his hand.

When he tries it after meeting you, he can’t even finish, ending up panting and sore, the wolf still snarling over the memory of Jimin’s lips barely brushing across your cheek.

Surprisingly enough, it’s Jungkook who texts you first. Wanna go for a drink?

You’re not sure whether to say yes at first, you’ve been feeling so strange. You can barely sleep, your skin feeling hot, as if you’d burned yourself with a too hot shower. You think about that night at the concert a lot, Jimin’s violet eyes, Jungkook’s almost red ones, how odd you’d felt.

You would have talked to Jia about it but she’s been abducted by the werewolf band, apparently, you’ve barely seen her in a week and when you had she’d been littered with hickeys and with a big goofy smile.

Part of you wonders if this is all some sex ring cult but she seems happy, jubilant even, so you agree, meeting Jungkook at a downtown bar.

He’s there before you arrive, you can see him through the window sitting at a table, looking wide and a bit intimidating until he lifts his head and smiles at you with a little wave.

His eyes are a warm brown now, pretty and wide, you’re able to notice the shape more without the contacts.

Jungkook is still all energy, maybe that’s just how he is, talking to you more and more as the nights go on and you two share a pitcher of beer, scooting his chair closer. You find he flushes a pretty rose when you flirt with him and can’t stop laughing when he nearly falls out of his chair when you prop your legs up in his lap.

By the end of the night he can’t stop smiling at you and you’re intrigued, moreso than you’d imagined you would be when you’d first met him, smiling shyly at you at the bar near the concert. You start to feel funny again, your head fuzzy, probably from the alcohol.

When you tell him, he’s all wide eyed concern.

You giggle. “Now I know why they call you Baby.”

He huffs a little.

He walks you outside just as he did before but this time he doesn’t hang back, and when you reach the alleyway, he places a hand on the swell of your hip as you take a few deep breaths of the night air.

You’re surprised, laugh a little until you look up into his eyes. You’d swear they looked red tinged again, but surely it’s just the beer.

“Not a baby,” he murmurs, moving closer, pressing you up against the brick with his body, and you hitch in a breath.

“No?” You ask, boldly trailing your finger along his collarbone through the black tshirt he’s wearing.

He shakes his head, leaned down close enough to your face that his nose brushes yours.

“Prove it,” you tease, and he makes this rumbling sound in the back of his throat that makes goosebumps break out across your flesh.

He leans down further, nips at your lower lip, and you moan, body surging forward toward his as if it was made to fit it. You’re not sure if you kiss him or he kisses you, but his tongue is in your mouth, his hands on either side of your head, caging you in.

You feel hot all over, dizzy in the most pleasant way, at least until he pulls away, gasping.

You whine, a sound you don’t think you’ve ever made before, when he’s not touching you anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

He’s gone before you can even gasp out another whine of his name, and the moonlight on your skin burns instead of cools.

Jungkook tells this story in a burst to his bandmates the next day, hungover with his head pounding.

“You just left her there?” Jimin says, his face shocked, and Jungkook feels the wolf make a growl start at the back of his throat.

Namjoon puts a hand on his shoulder and it turns into a whine instead.

“I’ve never felt him that close, hyung. Right at the surface. I wanted to…”

Namjoon and Seokjin meet eyes above Jungkook’s lowered head.

Jimin catches it. Jimin catches everything, it’s one of the best and worst things about him.

“What? You think…” Jimin laughs. “No. She can’t be his.... She’s not a wolf, I would’ve smelled it when-”

Jungkook surges out of his seat, a deep growl rumbling from his chest. “When what, Jimin?”

Jimin’s eyes glow a pale violet as he snarls back, uncaring that Jungkook towers over him.

In the end, Namjoon and Seokjin have to separate them physically as they bark and snarl at each other.

Hoseok and Taehyung are missing, having holed up to ride out their ruts with their human mates instead of the house the seven share.

Yoongi huffs out a breath. “He’s definitely presenting as an alpha.”

“No shit,” Namjoon barks, unusually on edge.

Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung are the betas of the group, and until now there had only been a slight difference among the bandmates despite their different rankings.

Alpha pheromones were stronger and their senses were more heightened around rutting season, particularly for other mates.

In the end, they have to completely change how they house themselves, with Jimin sharing a room with Yoongi, and Jungkook sharing with Seokjin.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jungkook says miserably, his wolf finally calmed as he sits down on the bed.

“It’s not your fault,” Seokjin says, voice much less harsh than Namjoon’s had been earlier when he’d scolded him. “I saw Namjoon during this time, and it wasn’t easy.”

Jungkook looks up at the elder with wide eyes. “Really?”

Seokjin snorts and nods. “Yeah, around the full moon he was unbearable, snarling at everything.”

“I just didn’t want to scare her or...or hurt her...I wanted to put her against the wall and…” Jungkook trails off, embarrassed.

Seokjin only smiles and ruffles Jungkook’s hair. “That’s normal too, Baby. You wouldn’t have hurt her, especially if it’s what we think it is.”

“What...what does that mean?”

Seokjin shakes his head. “Something you gotta work out on your own.”

Jungkook groans and flops down on the bed as Seokjin laughs, heading downstairs to make dinner while things are calm.

He has trouble sleeping again, but this time instead of wondering why, he knew, could almost feel the soft skin of your hip on his palm like it was still there, how you’d moaned into his mouth, whined for him.

Jungkook isn’t sure there’s a cold enough shower to help.

You can’t seem to sit still as the full moon nears, feeling like you might jump out of your skin. You can’t count the number of friends you’d called but no one seems up to going out. You bite your lip while looking at Jungkook’s contact on your phone screen.

If you think about it long enough, you can still feel the way he pressed against you, how the hair on the nape of your neck stood up when he nipped at your lip, how hot you’d felt, how wet…

You sigh and scroll up, seeing Jimin’s name instead. Jimin had been fun to be with the night you’d met, easy to talk to, less….intense. And he didn’t make you feel like you were about to crawl out of your skin, so you ask if he wants to meet up for a drink.

It’s late, by the time you decide, and the moon is out, waxing toward fullness. There’s only a tiny sliver remaining, big in the sky, and you can’t stop looking up at it as you walk to the bar near your house.

You’d chosen it because it’s close and not because it’s where hot drummer Jeon Jungkook, also known as Baby, had pressed you against an alley wall and made you almost…

Jimin jolts you out of your thoughts, calling your name and waving as you approach the door. He’s leaned against the doorjamb, giving you a smirk and you think now you understand why they call him Sly.

It makes you smile and again, you vibe well with him, you get along in the best way, conversation is easy and you don’t feel gooseflesh or your hair stand up when he brushes his fingers against yours.

Jimin knows he’s playing with fire when he replies to your text, but they don’t call him Sly for nothing, and you’re interesting, for a human. He’s only met one other female wolf, a tall and feisty woman with a sharp tongue and the most beautiful brown eyes, but she’d had a mate and well...things hadn’t ended well.

Jungkook thinks of his wolf as this separate entity but Jimin disagrees, let’s his wolf do what it wants, so that all the bad things he feels have some kind of outlet. This was especially so after he’d lost his brown eyed wolf girl, so he invites you back to the house, knowing that Jungkook will be at the gym all night before the full moon tomorrow.

In fact, all of the others will be out, finding fun of their own, and why shouldn’t Jimin do the same? It isn’t as if Jungkook has marked you, or even can, since you’re human.

Your eyes aren’t quite the same shade of hers, but he can pretend.

Jungkook works out until his muscles ache but nothing can shake this feeling he has, like something’s wrong. When he leaves the gym even the moon looks off, as if it’s dimmer than it should be, and something’s pulling him home, like this tug in his gut. It feels like it used to as a kid in his first foster home, when he’d get so anxious he’d climb onto the roof and stare up at it.

He’s almost running as he gets closer, feeling his skin prickle as he gets to the house, his wolf so close to the surface he can feel the fur that isn’t there yet standing up on the back of his neck.

He smells Jimin first, wrinkling his nose at the alpha pheromones, and when he walks upstairs it isn’t as if he decides to let the wolf take over, or struggles with it - it’s instant.

You’re standing in the hall, head tilted up, and Jimin is leaning against the wall, smiling down at you, and when you lean up to just softly brush your lips against Jimin’s, Jungkook’s heart nearly leaps out of his chest, and the wolf barks, loud and warning.

You turn, surprised, and Jungkook doesn’t think, doesn’t act, it’s all wolf. He grabs you by your waist, hefts you up over your shoulder, and begins to walk you to his room.

Jimin protests and Jungkook growls over his shoulder, daring him to try something. Later, Jungkook is glad his friend didn’t follow, because he isn’t sure that he could have held the wolf back.

You kick and yell and beat on his back and Jungkook doesn’t realize what he’s done until he’s plopped you down on his bed, crawling toward you.

You kick him in the chest and it barely registers. You stand up and that’s when he snaps back to himself, at least to a degree.

"Don't leave. You can't leave." It's panicked, his voice, higher pitched almost like a whine.

"I can do whatever I want," you snap.

He makes this sound between a whine and a snarl and it's startling, strange, and you stop at the door.

"I know that! I know, but he doesn't!"

"He..." you turn to look at him and he's trembling, head down, and you step closer, worried. "Baby, what do you mean?"

Jungkook just stands there, still trembling, until you reach out to touch his hair, gently. "He thinks he owns you, that you're his, that no one else can touch you." He explains, almost in a whisper.

"Who is he?" You ask slowly.

He raises his head slow and you gasp when you look into his eyes, instead of a warm brown this burnt amber, red hued.

"The wolf."

You stand there, blinking in surprise, for a long moment before actively telling your feet to move to the door. Unfortunately, your brain seems to have some kind of disconnect to your limbs, because you just step even closer, lean in and inhale along his neck, this scent of sweat and the iron of the weights he’d been lifting washing over you.

Rationally, you know that you should be shocked, horrified, even, that werewolves are real and you’re apparently standing in a house full of them but all you can do is run your tongue along the vein in his throat and Jungkook is trembling all over, whimpering like a puppy.

“Y/n, please, don’t-” he chokes out.

“Why not?” You murmur against his skin, the scent of him making your body react like you’ve never felt before. There’s this ache between your thighs that you’ve only felt a hint of before and you want more, nipping at his skin, unable to think clearly.

“He wants to...wants you,” Jungkook stutters, balling his hands into fists to keep from touching you.

“He does? Or you do?” You ask, lifting your head to pout at him, and Jungkook groans.

“Both,” he whispers hoarsely.

“Then take me,” you say, and you don’t even know where the words came from. Your head feels light on your shoulders, dizzy with the scent of him, how his skin tastes under your tongue, and you do what he did to you the last night you’d seen him, nipping at his lower lip. Your canine pierces the skin and you taste iron on your tongue

Jungkook growls and lifts you again, this time with his hands under your ass and thighs and your legs wrap around him instantly. He all but throws you down on the bed, this time, and you whimper when he grips one of your thighs with his big hand, squeezing the flesh there.

“Mine,” he snarls, that high pitched whine at the end, and it makes you arch your back, claw your nails across his shoulders.

Jungkook leans down to sniff at your neck and growls again, wrinkling his nose and when you open your eyes he’s staring down at you with those red/amber eyes.

You look back defiantly but you’re rolling your hips against his, you can feel him hard against your core and even though you’d never gone all the way with anyone before you want him inside you, can’t think of anything else.

“You smell like him,” he accuses, voice hoarse, and his wide eyes fade back to brown, just slightly, the color dilating around his pupils.

“Jungkook,” you whisper, feeling something like guilt, even though nothing had happened, really, and even it if it had…

He rubs his nose against your throat, covers you with his body like he’s replacing any of Jimin’s scent with his own. He licks against your neck, bites down on your skin, making you yelp.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whines. “I’m sorry, I have to. You’re mine, I have to mark you, have to scent you anywhere he touched you,” he tries to explain, his hands skating down your ample curves.

“It’s okay,” you say, and somehow you mean it, you understand, the very thought of Jungkook smelling like anyone else makes your heart jump into your throat, something primal rise in your gut. “I know, baby.”

“You’re mine?” He says again, voice pitching up into a question just like when he’d introduced himself and it scares you, the way it makes your heart ache.

Instead of speaking you kiss him again, hard, moving your hands to his hair to get him closer. You had worn a skirt and halter out, it’s so warm even though it’s close to winter, your skin feeling so hot under the moonlight that you couldn’t wear much else.

Even as you kiss him he’s tearing at your clothes and you lean up to help him until you’re bare beneath him and panting, this whining noise coming from your throat that you can’t explain.

“God,” Jungkook groans, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I-”

“You haven’t...haven’t done this before?” Your eyes widen.

Jungkook realizes what you mean and he blushes a bit. “I’ve...yeah, I’ve done this before but not...not like this. I feel like...the wolf feels like...he’s been crazy. Since the first moment I saw you.”

“Like you’re gonna jump out of your skin? Always feeling...hot?” You ask.

Jungkook nods slowly, eyes widening.

“Me too,” you admit. “I don’t...I don’t know what it means. That’s why I came out with Jimin, I-”

Jungkook cuts you off with a choked whine. “It means you’re supposed to be mine.”

He snuffles against your neck again, hands at your hips, still holding back, trembling. “It means he never should have touched you.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, even though you know you have nothing to apologize for. “I want you. I’ve never...I’ve never done this before but I want you so bad,” you admit, clutching at his tshirt, pulling it up until he gets on his knees and pulls it off, tossing it to the side. You spread your hands across his chest and he lets out a wrecked moan.

“You’re holding back,” you accuse.

He nods. “The wolf, he doesn’t….I don’t want to hurt you. Especially...fuck, no one’s touched you like this before?” His hands slide up and down your thighs as he stares down at your body, your breasts, the cleft of your cunt.

Jungkook knows that shouldn’t make him so hard, shouldn’t make his dick pulse in his sweats, shouldn’t make the wolf keen with pride. Mine mine mine, the first, the only is all his brain is chanting, he feels dizzy like he’s drank too much even though he hasn’t had a drop.

“Please, please, please,” you beg, but he can’t, can’t let the wolf out, he’s afraid he’ll rip you apart. You’re human and a virgin and he can’t risk hurting you.

The wolf won’t even let him say it, so he just shakes his head.

You huff out a breath, your body aching all over, need making your arousal coat your thighs. You don’t know what you’re going to say until you say it.

“Should I ask Jimin to do it? I bet he can smell me,” you taunt, shocking yourself.

Jungkook freezes, his eyes bleeding to red again and one hand jolting out to wrap around your throat.

“Don’t,” he warns.

You know you should be cautious since you’re about to fuck an actual werewolf, but fuck, you’re so hot, you can’t think, you need something inside you and you drop your feet to the bed, spreading your legs wide.

“Jimin would mark me. He’d fuck me, fill me full like I want.”

Jungkook feels something in him snap, and his heart hurts and his cock aches and the wolf is keening, clawing inside him and he can’t control it anymore, just like before.

“Never,” he growls, squeezes his fingers around your throat and you gasp, your stomach aching with need.

Finally, finally he slides his fingers along your pussy and you choke out a sob as his thumb slips across your clit but it’s not enough.

“Jungkook,” you whimper. “Make me yours.”

“Already mine,” he murmurs, and finally slides two fingers inside you, making you cry out. “You’re already mine but I’m gonna give you what you want, mark you, fuck you, make sure Park fucking Jimin never so much as sniffs at you again.”

“Yes,” you sigh. “Yes, please, please.”

Jungkook still worries somewhere in the back of his mind that he’ll hurt you, that the wolf will, and by now he understands they’re one and the same but you’re rolling your hips up and his cock feels heavy and full like he’s about to burst, somehow wider at the base and he rips down his sweats, fucking you with three fingers now.

When his cock bounces against his stomach you gasp, and if you’d been in your right mind you might worry he’s too big but something inside you is crying out in pleasure just at the sight of it. You spread your legs wider and he releases your throat, leaning over to kiss you instead, biting your lip as he slowly works himself inside you.

It’s a tight fit even after three fingers and you’re whining into his mouth, wanting more.

Jungkook isn’t a virgin, far from it although a little less experienced than some of his band members (Hoseok had once bragged about fucking a house of sorority sisters during a rut), but the way you clench around him has his hips twitching, wanting to buck into you even if it would split you open.

Despite his worry, neither he or the wolf wants to hurt you, though, so he waits for you to adjust even as you beg, waits until you can take all of him.

He’s barely realized that he’s popped his knot until he looks down to see where you’ve joined and he groans. He knows how to do this, has been talked to (endlessly, by Taehyung, about his human girlfriend and how she desperately wants to take his knot and they’re working on it but it will take time and training), knows that you can’t take his knot but the wolf is howling for it, wants to fuck you hard and then pop it inside you, spill a littler into your womb.

You whine and pulse around him, reaching up to tug at his hair. “Kookie,” you pout. “Baby. Want you inside me, fuck me harder, please-”

“I can’t-” he chokes out, but then you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him deeper and the wolf growls, leans down, mine mine mine chanting in his head. My mate.

You felt a tiny pop when Jungkook first entered you, nothing painful and then just need, you want more and more and you don’t even know how to say it. You look up at him, near tears, needing something that you feel he won’t give you.

“I’m not yours yet,” you slur, and he looks pained, his eyes dilating from warm brown to amber red again and again.

He rocks his hips against you slow, and you’ve orgasmed twice already, once from his fingers and one from his cock but it’s not enough and you whine, it comes out almost inhuman, like his.

“Fill me up,” you urge, and Jungkook tries to hold the wolf back, he really does, but he’s too far gone, this close to the full moon and in the start of his first rut.

Jungkook groans, fucks you harder and faster and when you cry out his name his balls draw up and he thrusts forward harder than he’d meant to, popping his knot inside you.

You make a surprised sound and his eyes pop open, his hands cupping your face even as his hips twitch as he cums, spills inside you.

“Y/n. I’m so sorry,” he mourns. “I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry,” he babbles, kissing along your neck and throat, seeing that he’d already marked you twice, once on each side of your throat, and he barely remembers it.

You let out a happy sigh and wrap your arms around his neck, feeling finally sated, at least for the moment. “What are you sorry for, silly baby?”

“Doesn’t it hurt?” He asks, and you look up into his eyes and they’re heterochromatic, now, red hued amber and brown both.

“You’d never hurt me,” you mumble against his throat.

“Never,” he promises. “Never, I love you so much.”

You’re half asleep, sated with him still inside you, planting soft kisses on your lips and face. You don’t know where you’d learned the word, but it feels right when you say it, right before you drift to sleep.

“I love you too, Alpha.”

It takes a while to understand, especially between Jungkook being barely able to leave his room since he’s in rut and you’re in heat, but eventually, you figure it out.

Your great grandmother had been an omega werewolf, and it’s a recessive gene so you’d been the lucky one to receive it. Since you had never shifted because your gene wasn’t activated by male wolves, you had no smell.

At least, not until the full moon, when you shifted into what Jungkook says is the prettiest wolf he’d ever seen.

After, when you’d near your heat, Jungkook would snap and snarl at the boys so much just for talking to you that it made you roll your eyes, but eventually you got the dates right (for the most part, there’d been one instance in which Jimin had made a snarky comment and Jungkook had lunged at him and they’d gone rolling down the stairs), and you holed up in your apartment, instead.

Jungkook was working with Seokjin to understand that the wolf is him instead of some seperate entity. You tell him you’ve always known that. From what you know now, if the wolf wasn’t, he would have taken you the very first night. True mates are rare, and you’d both known it the whole time, even when you hadn’t.

You and Jia went to every concert, her always telling you her neverending sexcapades with Hoseok to be able to take his knot, front row, waiting for your Alpha’s set. It’s cute, you think, that they call him Baby on stage but he’s your Alpha, especially since he’s both, always, to you.

#jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts imagines #werewolf!jungkook #bts werewolf au #jungkook imagine #bangtanshadowfamily #bangtanheadquarters #btscreatorscorner #btswritersclub

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