#aside from getting medicated

[gideonisms]

So let's say you've been procrastinating on an assignment for a week, it was due a while ago, prof accepts late assignments but you've hit a total brick wall and have tried

the power of that last minute adrenaline rush (doesn't work anymore, there are worse things than failing a class)

setting a timer for 20 min increments (managed a total of 20 minutes on the project 💀)

Promising yourself rewards (not working because not watching anything is better than doing the assignment)

Taking breaks instead and coming back to it (just doesn't happen)

sheer willpower. Just do it (again, happened for 20 minutes)

writing each tiny specific step I need to accomplish (didn't make it more bearable)

going to different locations

guilt

annoyance

frustration

What is the next step. Like what else can I even try

#aside from getting medicated #i know what it is too. it's a class designed to make us better at marketing ourselves. i didn't know that going in #but the projects are like stuff we'd be having to do to advertise ourselves as a freelance writer or to get hired at a company #and i have a thing about carefully presenting the best sides of myself. i know you have to do it sometimes as a human being #but it plays into all the masking stuff that made my life hell for most of my 20s #it's like the second i recognized that's what i was doing & i wasn't just bad at being human my brain said no we're not doing that anymore #your options are be genuine or lie down in a stupor #good luck getting through the next phase of your life i've just nerfed you #anyway more info than y'all needed but i'm just not sure how to navigate things when i know the exact reason i'm blocked #but i've tried all the typical solutions and just wound up feeling worse

[stuckinapril]

I am so glad that I’m setting aside time to volunteer.

#it’s so fulfilling. like actually the most fulfilling thing in the world #i got to put my phone aside for 4 hours and help refugees w medical bills / other paperwork in general #filed for like an hour without having to listen to music to numb my thoughts #restocked the pantry #and the most exciting development is one of the case workers is taking me w her to a refugee clinic soon!!!! #where I actually get to help people who’re in dire need of healthcare assistance #this is one of the many things that remind me why my heart is in med school #and it’s a nice change of pace from studying all the time! #and I’m going to pick up going to a clinic for at-risk people again soon #I’m very privileged to not have to work but I’m still putting my time to use in other ways #p

[teabutmakeitazure]

last ask and sorry for bothering you but, there is this stupid idea : chrollo having the hots for a brown darling. knowing how messed up pakistan/india's dating and marriage system is, he cant even be her boyfriend without her having massive issues lol. its not just that darling doesn't want to date him, its that her parents will kill her if they find out. its straight up kidnapping lol. i cant imagine him trying to act as a religious, pious and well meaning suitor that's too cringe.

dont get me started on "the only man you may reveal yourself to is your husband" asshole gonna use it to his advatage.

There is no way he is walking through the door and telling your parents that his second name is Lucilfer. But that's not even the problem. The problem is how in the name of all things holy did you come to know a man. A male specimen out of all the unholy things in this land and let him into your house to meet your parents.

If the excessive interrogating wasn't enough, the taunts that you're outside and being friends with men like it's no big deal are enough to warrant a month full of therapy to undo the damage to your psyche.

The arranged marriage culture would honestly baffle him. Chrollo doesn't understand why people would weigh such superficial and shallow traits so heavily when searching for a partner. It certainly doesn't sit right with him either when he's rejected by your parents for not being as cultural as them. He has money and he cares for you. Isn't that what's supposed to matter?

Chrollo doesn't see the point in keeping up such exhaustive appearances of being religious, pious and adhering to cultural values so he takes the easy route: making you disappear. Despite his initial dislike of what he called restrictive values, he has no problems with using them against you. It's true that you're only supposed to reveal yourself without hesitation to your husband, and he's the only man- er, human - left in your life. Isn't that a wonderful coincidence?

#Chrollo hears of medical colleges being filled with girls and most of them getting married off never to practice medicine made him lose hi #his* sense of logic for a while #what do you mean they work so hard to get into medical college just to get a decent marriage proposal? #that explains why the healthcare system is in shambles #and why a third of the population consists of engineers #that aside he'd probably get rejected by the parents for being too 'not brown' #i have a lot to say about yans with brown darlings because it has so much potential with the way the marriage market is #but Chrollo might immediately see the situation and think *im not doing that* #how is he supposed to show your parents that he's the best suitor when the first question is what his father does for a living #he can't just say *oh i grew up in a lawless land without any caretaker and i dont officially exist in legal records but i love you daugh #daughter very much so cant i get some slack?* #immediate rejection lmao #mother probably doesnt like how he seems emotionless #the generational trauma of emotionless men resurfaces and its an immediate no from her too #ask #zain-is-done2004 #chrollo brainrot

[whatudottu]

Seeing the “cerebrocrustaceans are highly territorial” headcanon slowly start to pick up more steam (albeit with a split as to whether they’re so cliquey and ride-or-die they view everyone who isn’t in their in-group as a potential threat until they’ve made it abundantly clear that they mean no harm or if they despise any sort of group collaboration unless it’s absolutely, positively necessary) makes me wonder if it’s a common stereotype by the galactic audience to view them as being massive pricks to everyone they meet. Like, oh, everyone on Encephalonus-IV hates each other’s guts and they’re incessantly rude to anyone and everyone they come across! They’re so petty and envious they can’t stand the thought of anyone being better at them than anything and delight in the suffering and misfortune of people they don’t like! They fly into murderous rages if a galvan so much as breathes on them, and if they weren’t such cowards, they’d nuke Galvan Prime into oblivion only to immediately start yet another rivalry with some other species for one reason or another!

Hah! Doesn’t help their case that Dr Psychobos became very well known thanks to the super famous superhero Ben 10!

But no yeah with galvans being the cold detached sort of smart, especially with their prevalence in intergalactic relationships (you don’t become the smartest being in not one but multiple galaxies by sitting alone in your room), what comparatively little interaction to the wider galactic sphere cerebrocrustaceans have has more expectations than if the galvans were more subtle in their influence. If you’ve heard how much of an grumpy old man scientist the First Thinker is, especially when you hear about one of his creations striking out against him due to neglect, well you’ve already started to get the picture of an isolated workspace that no one dares interrupt.

So then you come face to face with a snappy cerebrocrustacean scientist who’s rude, direct, and hovering over your shoulder making sure you don’t fuck up, well you won’t really find many cases of neglect when everything you do is under scrutiny. I guess the difference between my headcanon and @ohyeahben10 ‘s headcanon would be if you can endure the territorial… hostility may not be the right word, the fact that you’re in the same space as a cerebrocrustacean at work is already more than what they’d typically give, in my headcanon sphere you could potentially get past that barrier and transition from outgroup to ingroup; I don’t know exactly what’s in ohyeah’s head but I assume given his headcanons she might say that you practically could never get on a cerebrocrustacean’s good side, or at least not as close as an ingroup would suggest-

Either or, it’s gonna leave a bad first impression, and that is how the stereotype for being prickish is so widespread. Potentially, if a notable cerebrocrustacean scientist works intergalactically, the stereotype may narrow to Encephalonus IV having a very dickish social culture.

#ask #anonymous #cerebrocrustacean #encephalonus iv #ben 10 #hope i pronouned you right ohyeah (or whatever shorthand name you’d prefer- central or sceathered idk) #but right yeah being territorial sucks for your reputation but it’s probably why scientists aren’t representatives #which might have to bite the bullet and fight against the instinct to be territorial- or at least innately not be as much #then again they’re collectively a rather smart intelligent species so maybe scientists are representatives #i think i like thinking about cerebrocrustaceans (god it’s such a long name) #it’s not going to beat out petrosapiens anytime soon but with galvans in canon getting a lot of focus #imagining what makes cerebrocrustaceans different besides appearance is really neat #i like thinking they’re like cliquey scientists- mostly because aside from medical doctors i don’t see a lot of big science teams in galvan #like it seems to be mostly kept to two either it’s the first thinker and their assistant #or it’s blukic and driba as the technicians (r&d?) of plumber earth base #i mean technically dr psychobos was completely alone in regards to the sciencing part #having malware hunt for the omnitrix schematics and have khyber literally hunt the omnitrix wielder #but like i don’t think i can base all cerebrocrustaceans after dr psychobos #because well i don’t think everyone on ecephalonis iv hates galvans- djw even said they don’t have a rivalry #but it’s fun i like cerebrocrustaceans (god is there anyway to shorten the name)

[noxcaelestia]

If you’re legitimately interested in my current pricing, my state’s min wage went up recently and the cheapest option, pushed up to the next highest dollar (not rounded) totals up to about an 8 hour work day not adding in any other expenses or subtracting fees.

Between drawing and scanning then finishing up on my iPad via Procreate, the time is decently accurate if not underestimated. The more expensive option is twice that which is about two work days in total hours.

It’s already hard to price my stuff accurately especially when I have been so ill back and forth and I haven’t completed much work in about a year now. I hope you’ll understand. Thank you for your continued support regardless.

#text post #delete later #about commissions #about pricing commissions #sometimes I don’t draw for long periods and I have to relearn a lot #my condition(s) burn me out quicker than I would like so it’s not that I’m not ‘trying’ hard enough #I can’t work a regular job anymore without accommodation #and given my current situation I can’t just ‘not’ work because I need some kind of income for survival #but until a doctor as slow as they are at times gives me the okay I can’t even imagine getting government assistance aside from my medical #I sleep a lot these days and I have been for about a year as well if not longer

[crimeronan]

pursuing a lupus diagnosis is sometimes extremely funny. lately every doctor i go to is like "okay so this is. definitely lupus. with very specific complications. but i'm not putting that diagnosis on paper because lupus is a lazy diagnosis and it's never lupus. except in your case. in which it is lupus" i know the USUAL experience is people being disbelieved by doctors for Years when they try to tell them they likely have lupus & that WAS my experience three years back, but NOW i've had a lucky combo of well-timed test results and symptoms that have led to a general attitude of "okay i literally can't find any explanation OTHER than lupus with very specific complications. but i'd be more comfortable if you got diagnosed by a rheumatologist instead" and then the rheumatologist you're referred to literally never calls you back to schedule bc they're so overbooked due to consequences of the COVID pandemic so your normal doctor is stuck managing your constellation of technically-undiagnosed symptoms, that could technically be anything, except for how. they are lupus. with very specific complications.

#autoimmune tag #if i DO end up getting a different diagnosis i'll eat my SHORTS. but it's. Extremely Unlikely at this point. #short-term lupus treatment basically cured me n i have literally every component required for a diagnosis save a specific antibody positive #which i think isnt 100% required even. especially w my positive ANA. but some docs wont diagnose without it #a podcast vi likes just put out an ep about lupus n they were listening to it like 'jesus kitkat you really are textbook' #i KNOWWWWWWW. what a wild body to live in. #this has been your daily medical oversharing. now that im covid free im feeling my usual autoimmune symptoms again #and im like. dammit. the covid was actually a nice vacation. aside from the hell.

[void-tiger]

Sorry, Shiro.

You have hEDS now. Not “just” epilepsy.

I make the rules. It fits. RIP buddy.

#takashi shirogane #chronic illness shiro #shiro headcanons #prekerb shiro #shiro’s gap year of hell #champion shiro #tagging champion because…think about it #if hCTD makes your tendons and joints wobbly and have to be manages with PT and pain management #in addition to often trying to pull your organs apart like silly putty #and it’s ‘getting worse’ despite being Medically Cleared ACTUALLY ADAM + a stimulator bracelet #and shiro having his skeleton either replaced or reinforced by a metallic one #to support That Arm is a VERY common headcanon #then…it’s not that much of a stretch for Haggar to repeatedly repair/replace his tendons and other ligaments tol #and believing she was ‘improving’ him. #then getting carried away with her cloning to study Shiro’s genetic disorder more closely with ‘disposable’ copies #(y’know. aside from farming shiro&theshiros for proto BP Quintessence to supe up Zarkom) #(and HSD’s hc that So Many Shiros for the komar jaegar army) #also…it…explains Adam’s shitty attitude. when shiro WAS actually working with his medical team sO. #((I still kinda…Adam as unmanaged borderline. he’s just. he’s too controling. and cold. and feels very very familiar. sorry adam.))

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Ok people acting like feeding anything that isn’t owned by Purina or hills will kill your pets are being a BIT dramatic here. I have never used either and all of my animals are miraculously alive and fully healthy.

#I have one cat on prescription Royal canin and the rest on 4health #dogs get Rachael ray dry and Merrick canned #All of which was endorsed by my vet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #so was Taste of the Wild my dogs just don’t like it much #I’ve fed both grain and grain free in the past and noticed no real difference other than some animals preferred one over the other. #all my animals live 15+ aside from one cat when I was a child who was poisoned by a neighbor #another unfriendly reminder to keep cats indoors #Is all of this anecdotal? Yep! #but so are a lot of these claims for what food is the best #there is no one right answer it depends on the needs of your specific animal #but Buddy you almost certainly don’t need to be paying for overpriced food if your pet doesn’t have a specific medical issue

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night #when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm #because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today #and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work #my shift starts in just over an hour lmao #and i feel like a raging bitch #all snappy and nasty #but really im stretched too thin #and im terrified #of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life #but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him #(something in his neck temporarily dislocated) #and i just #im so SICK of everything being shitty #im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him #and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state... #and if something..... #i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit #(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.) #and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic #and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one #it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly #idk what to fuckin do #☉ #tbd #im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.

[dorunasch]

went one whole day without even a little headache... merry christmas to me (*゜▽゜)_□

#started a new medication that has one truly perplexing side effect #(makes carbonated beverages taste flat and gross) #but aside from that and general tiredness it seems to be improving my general well-being #i can live without soda if it means not getting a migraine for five straight days #not having caffeine also means my tics aren't so out of control which is also really nice #here's hoping for continued success with these meds

[ruthlesslistener]

Not to medicalize or religiousize my transgenderism or anything, but I'm convinced that the proof that God did not intend me to be female is the absurd fucking rock-and-a-hard place they stuck me in reguarding uterine health and estrogen processing. I don't believe that the divine have any plans for us other than to live with the conditions we were given but there's no fucking way what's going on right now isn't some sort of cosmic oopsie

#currently stuck with nonstop medically significant bleeding. asks doctor how to stop it (progesterone has stopped working) #doctor says estrogen is the most likely option for stabilizing the endometrium. problem is that family on my mom's side gets sick on it #(symptoms include awful migraines #extreme fatigue #depression/suicidal thinking #muscle weakness #and hot and cold flashes) #which gender dysphoria aside is not something I want to deal with rn when im taking FUCKING BIOCHEMISTRY #but the bleeding is a genuine health concern so I'm out of options #BUT this is the only thing stopping me from going on T- #AUGH #also i need to get an ultrasound to check for tumors (grandmother had them) #but the clinic with equipment is 23 miles away and I dont have a car #AND this is my most busy quarter so far #A UGH

[canonically-a-genloser]

i Need to draw post escape ran in the trans sweater but i literally don't even have a design for them yet

#in my brain their face is screwed up from the box but you can't tell so much once it heals and some of the facial reconstruction is done #like aside from the prosthetic eyes and hearing aids you wouldn't be able to tell #ALSO I HAVE BEEN LOOKING UP THE MEDICAL STUFF BUT IT'S HARD TO TELL HOW ACCURATE I AM #MOST PEOPLE AREN'T GETTING STUCK IN BASICALLY SAW TRAPS #so it's hard to tell but if anyone knows otherwise i would love to hear about it :D

[bonyfish]

The strangest thing for me so far about being read as a man in public is that people assume I'm athletic, or at least have a base level of physical competence. Presumably some of this is because of my build. I'm slim and fairly compact, which when I was being read as female was interpreted entirely differently and led to things like older men refusing to let me hold doors for them.

When Nik and I were on our way back from vacation, the nice lady checking us in at the airport noticed we had a very tight connection between our flights due to some weather delays, and she looked at me and asked, "can you run pretty fast?" I was momentarily stunned, but quickly recovered enough to laugh and point out that Nik is half a foot taller than me and in fact all of that is leg. (Other reasons Nik is faster than me include my asthma, my being a lifelong indoor kid with weak ankles, and the fact that at the time I was barely 6 weeks recovered from top surgery.) The check-in attendant pivoted, saying to Nik, "Okay then, give him your bag and run for it."

Afterward, waiting in line for security, I marveled to Nik that this person had assumed I was the athletic one, and Nik said, "It's your male privilege." And they were being a bit facetious but I think they still got to the heart of the matter; the check-in attendant looked at the two of us, decided I was the man in the situation, and extrapolated from that that I was the most likely to sprint for the gate.

Meanwhile every time we go hiking, Nik hands me whatever they're carrying, says "Take this, it's holding me back," and goes crashing off into the underbrush and/or nearest body of water.

#me posts #gender musings #i also got asked to help get someone's bag down on the airplane and had to explain that i couldn't raise my arms that high #that's never happened to me before! i'm 5'5"!! #see also: the time a customer at the pawn shop assumed i used my employee discount on jewelry #despite the fact that i was not wearing any jewelry aside from a medic alert bracelet #she had decided that i was a woman and therefore enjoyed jewelry to the exclusion of anything else i might spend a paycheck on #such as flannel shirts

[rattusn0rvegicus]

Bro they really be trying to put four year olds on antipsychotics... crazy shit

#Look I have very mixed and confusing feelings about the fact that I didn't receive any psychiatric treatment at all until I was 19-20 and #didn't get antipsychotics until I was 22-23. But like... #The pendulum can swing way too far in the other direction too #I'm reading Anatomy of an Epidemic and oh I'd love to have a conversation with Robert Whitaker about my case #<- grew up fundie Christian and very extremely anxious and then obsessive compulsive and then psychotic and depressed #(but did not receive any medical care for it whatsoever) #While I think meds would have helped me I also think that the average modern American psychiatrist solution of like #'throw more and more drugs at the problem until they go away and throw drugs at the side effects of those drugs' is. Bad #Idk what I'm saying tbh #I know for a fact my issues (aside from at least part of my emotional numbness) aren't iatrogenic. I was Very Mentally Ill from the start #And while I do consider my utter lack of care as a kid/teen/young adult to be some form of neglect it's like #The alternative (the modern American psychiatric system) was NAWT good either #I don't know a single person who's on meds who doesn't have some sort of complicated relationship with them and all I'm saying #is they shouldn't be treated as a magic bullet #Hell *I* have very complicated feelings about my meds and I haven't really been *harmed* by them just... Chilled Out Too Much #ANYWAYS #This book is kind of shitty towards ppl on SSDI (kind of implying that they're a Burden To The Country) which is gross #but otherwise I'm enjoying it

[dilfkuza]

watching Nishitani's death scene always leaves me devastated. like noooo king you can't die you haven't gotten your rocks off in a decent fight yet

#jokes aside the first time i saw that scene I wasn't ready for it. he's such an earnest guy who embodies this wild persona fully -> #and when the audience may believe he'll go wild again or pull some shit to save himself what does he do? #he tries to run for his uncle and shields Majima from the bullets. #he didn't have to give up his life but he saw something in Majima that he wanted to protect. a reflection maybe. #that line he says about “why couldn't we have met earlier” and chiding himself for being sentimental... goddd i need more of him #it makes me wonder specifically what he would think of the Mad Dog persona. #would he be proud that Majima took after him? glad to have someone that understands? #or perhaps downtrodden that Majima could follow his direct footsteps into an early grave himself? #i mean we've seen Majima throw himself into situations where he could die any minute. its not wrong to say its a miracle he's gonna see 60 #but is that also something he learned from Nishitani? that he can sacrifice himself if it means the ones he loves will thrive? #ughhhh mr nishitani i miss your silly ass... literally altered Majima's brain chemistry that day in the jail cell.... #also not to be too theorist or anything but like. i wonder if anyone tried to get Nishitani help or if they let him die. #bc his men were in the (unlocked) cell with him; one of them could have run for help or a medic even if it was too late #but would he want that? or would he have wanted to be left in peace with his only family member- dead by association with him? #grrrr i need more info on him..... but at the same time i love that they left him fairly vague... #we get just the hint of his attitude being a persona and thats it.... GOD i need to rip something up im consumed with blorbo thoughts #nishitani homare #bulletin board

[born-to-lose]

According to 6 different serious health/psychology pages I have BPD, do you think that means I should see a therapist?

#i've been thinking about the possibility for a while but never looked up symptoms because i was scared #and now it's starting to get out of hand so i finally did even though i originally didn't want to be officially diagnosed #for various reasons like the stigma in society and my health insurance knowing so all my future doctors will go back to their #'it's only psychological stop being so dramatic you're not actually sick' shit and invalidating me and my health problems in the past #some of them straight up refused to write a sick note for school when i actually had the flu back in 8th grade #so that's one reason why i don't want any mental illnesses to appear in my medical record #plus the cost factor because i'm not sure if the insurance would even cover everything but i might end up paying for it myself #if it means the health insurance won't be informed even if it's probably a lot of money #but in order to get therapy i need to get diagnosed by a professional so once i read into it a bit more i'll figure out how to tell my mom #and see if i'll call this one therapist in my town who apparently treats psychosomatic disorders #i'm sincerely sorry to everybody i've talked to recently (aside from casual fandom chatting) who may have noticed me behaving kinda shitty #advice is greatly appreciated because this hit me like a train and i don't fucking want this. like at all #i thought my switching between depressed and anxious and angry and empty and hyper was just. idk something else but not That #mel talks