The envy Arthur and Lancelot would have had for each other must have been insane.
Because Merlin is secretive with Lancelot. He tells him things he would never tell Arthur, he opens up to him and Arthur knows he can never have that trust. Never have that closeness not while he’s king and Merlin a servant.
But to Lancelot he’s been secretive about protecting Arthur. It all resolves around Arthur, opening up about protecting Arthur, giggling over using magic to please Arthur. Lancelot knows it will never be him on the other side of the devotion not like this.
just like he will never be Gwen’s because she loved him once yes but at the end of the day it’s Arthur she chooses.
and in Arthur’s eyes Lancelot is Gwen’s first love will always be known as such and will always be looked at as such even if she loves him she loved Lancelot first and Arthur can’t help but think if she could have him she would.
Anyway I’m so sane about them and at the end of the day how they still understand why it’s like this because they would choose the other as well.