#armchair movie criticism

[random-jot]

it's crazy and also frustrating to me when I hear/see people criticise movies and the complaints are just. Standard movie-making techniques.

"oh it feels like it was written backwards, just so the characters could get from A to B"

...Like. Yeah. You mean how movies are made? You mean accepted screenwriting/storytelling technique? Of course it was written backwards!

How do you think, do you think they just make it all up from page one and go in chronological order?? With no idea of where the story's gonna end up?

It's just. Ahhj.

Anyway. Little pet peeve of mine.

#rambling jot #ranting jot #pet peeve #movies #movie making #movie criticism #it's the cinemasinsesque armchair criticism of it all y'know

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Hi! i was wondering if you could do the boys (frank, matt etc) with a reader/ partner whose almost always tired, like a cat? i have a condition where i can’t stay awake long and struggle all the time i think the most i can do is 5-6 hrs then im out like a light

Anon, I totally feel for you. I am currently pursuing my own chronic illness diagnosis, and it is VERY difficult to get through a full day without a nap. Fortunately for the both of us, I don't think any of the boys would mind!

Frank

Heavily inspired by the Jon Bernthal “Naps are for Chumps” video, Frank is NOT a nap person.

But he would be such a good partner whenever you needed to rest. And if you had told him about your condition and how it impacts you, I think he’d even demand that you sleep if you seemed the slightest bit tired. 

If you were running out of steam and your eyes started drooping, he’d pull you against him on the couch or in bed, throwing a blanket over the two of you. Pressing a kiss to your head, he’d keep reading his latest book as you nodded off. 

If anyone tried to interrupt a nap, they’d be met with the deadliest glare of all time.

I don’t think he’d nap with you, but I also don’t think he would criticize you for needing extra sleep. I think he would simply add it to the list of things that he loves about you :)

Matt

This man has the exhaustion of a bear that just woke up from hibernation so he would totally sympathize with you. 

He has far too much guilt to rest with you every time, but he’d take so much care in crafting a cozy space for you in his apartment. 

After picking up on your needs or having a conversation with you about it (depending on how comfy you are telling him), he’d start hoarding soft blankets and fluffy pillows, making sure to place them in every possible place you might want to curl up. 

He’d inevitably start reading your body’s signals as your relationship develops and help you if you start feeling fatigued while out and about–making up an excuse to your friends or whomever and escorting you home–holding you close as you drift off.  

His favorite time to find you napping is when he gets home from work or a late night. Finding you wrapped in his sheets or clothed in his shirts will never be less than adorable. 

Mikey

As someone who was devastated when he was recently diagnosed with epilepsy, I think Michael would take your condition incredibly seriously and indulge your every need. 

He’d encourage you to rest when you needed, look for relaxing activities for the two of you to partake in together. Like cooking comfort foods, watching movies, listening to podcasts, etc

Napping with you wouldn’t phase him for a second. He’d happily curl up around you whenever you needed his extra warmth, after offering you one of his sweaters of course. 

If he comes home to find you sleeping, he’ll take extra care to not wake you, stepping softly and reading quietly in an armchair across from you.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil #frank castle #charlie cox #marvel #matt murdock x you #the punisher #frank castle x reader #my writing #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock fic #matt murdock my beloved #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #human disaster matt murdock #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fic #daredevil mcu #daredevil netflix #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #netflix daredevil #frank castle x you #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle imagine #frank castle x female reader

[centaurianthropology]

Why Spenser Starke is a Fantastic Horror GM (and the Core Fantasy in Candela Obscura)

So, I have seen some rancid takes about Spenser Starke online. Less so on this webbed site, largely because people around here are not in a pissing contest to prove who’s the most cynical, superior, and dickish. But there have still been some mind-blowing ones, from “he says UM too much” (guess who else does that? Brennan, but I don’t see these people criticizing him), or “he describes scenes like shots in a movie and that’s BAD WRONG” (while you might not stylistically enjoy it, I for one adore seeing a new interpretation of how to narrate while GMing, and think he��s doing great).

But the two that rub me the wrong way most are that he “controls the narrative too tightly” and doesn’t allow the characters to meander too long before throwing them back into the narrative, and that he’s “too harsh” in that even mixed successes tend to net characters damage of some sort. I saw accusations of “GM vs Player” mentality, but everyone was clearly enjoying themselves and the experience.

And that, I think, highlights the fundamental disconnect between these complainers and what’s actually happening on the screen: they don’t understand the core experience.

They have likely never played horror TTRPGs. They may have never played TTRPGs period, and instead are armchair DMs based purely on how Matt and Brennan DM, not really understanding that there are a thousand other ways to DM. But if they have played TTRPGs, I would guess that they’ve exclusively played D&D or its ilk. And I say that because there’s a very clear belief here that empowerment and ‘winning the game’, as well as wandering about freely to create your own narrative at your own pace are all fundamental parts of the TTRPG experience as a whole. But they aren’t. They’re fundamental to D&D, yes, but this is not what players come to a game like Candela Obscura for.

Each TTRPG has a central fantasy playing out. In D&D it’s heroic empowerment. D&D is mechanically built around getting more and more power and eventually defeating the big bad. A good GM in D&D, like Matt Mercer, focuses on giving out challenges, but always helping their players strive to overcome and grow and become better. This self-actualization is at the heart of the experience.

Horror games are not about that at all. The closest to that fantasy is something like ‘Vampire the Masqerade’ or other World of Darkness games, which do feature power growth, but the core fantasy is actually about learning that you are a monster. And embracing power will lead to even greater monstrousness. The horror in games like this is both political and personal, and the system is mechanically built to accommodate that horror.

And if you watch LA by Night or NY by Night, you’ll actually see that Jason Carl employs a fairly similar narrative tightness to his storytelling as that of Spenser Starke. Because a huge part of horror is about establishing and maintaining a mood. To do that, a DM has to keep a tighter rein on pacing, cutting from scene to scene and moment to moment in a way that is more directed than in D&D, because that helps establish and maintain the vibe being created.

Candela Obscura plays, thematically, a lot like one of my favorite games to run: ‘Call of Cthulhu’. CoC is a game all about disempowerment. The power differential between the players and the monsters is vast. Combat is vicious, short, and deadly, and direct combat almost always ends badly for an investigator. There is an entire chapter devoted to running away for a reason.

Both CoC and Candela are built on danger, vulnerability, and a constant sense of tension. And Spenser is fantastic at all of these. He keeps his narrative laser focused, moving between moments rapid-fire to keep up that tension, and to introduce new dangers. He is a ‘vicious’ DM only in so much as even mixed successes hurt. But this also keeps the tension up by keeping the characters and players on the edges of their seats. They are almost never safe. They are almost never well. They are constantly juggling dwindling resources. They are underpowered, vulnerable, and afraid.

And that’s the core fantasy here: exploring fear in a safe way. Being stressed out in a way you can leave behind as soon as the scene is done. Constantly living on the edge, fighting the odds, and knowing that you likely won’t succeed or will only do so at great cost. And he is masterfully keeping that intensity running through each session.

He gives characters time to talk about themselves, time for scenes to play out, until he feels the tension begin to flag, and then he pushes on. He never lets the air go entirely out of the narrative sails. He has a great sense of when a character needs a moment (his use of the red PTSD lighting exemplifies how closely he’s paying attention to his players and adjusting the setting to fit their moods). He sometimes pushes on, gets pushback from a player who wants another beat, and is always happy to give that to them. He keeps the pace up, but is always very careful to make sure his players have what they need to still enjoy this particular experience.

All this is to say that Spenser is absolutely killing it at being an exemplary horror GM. His sense of pacing and tension, his ability to direct action while still always embracing player autonomy, and using the mechanics of the system to never allow them to feel entirely safe are all great tools in a horror GM’s toolkit.

Horror games are not for everyone. Certainly there are plenty of people who only ever want the hero fantasy of D&D, but I think it’s important to recognize what the goal of a game is, and what constitutes success within those parameters, rather than parameters that only exist in an audience member’s mind, because they don’t really get how horror games work.

#candela obscura #spenser starke #I was frankly shocked at how many people were bitching about him #and all their whining mostly boiled down to him not GMing a horror game like one would DM D&D #it was just a fundamental misunderstanding of how horror stories sort of have to get told #in order to actually scare your players #and give them the core experience of HORROR that they came to the table to feel #I love running horror games #I think Spenser is not only doing great #but he’s got quite a few tricks I want to try out myself #This is not DM vs Player mentality #this is literally just how you play these sorts of games #constantly being close to death or running out of resources

[denimbex1986]

'When the companies behind Ira Sachs’ new drama about the shifting currents of intimacy in a troubled love triangle submitted Passages to the Motion Picture Association ratings board, they probably anticipated an R.

But the MPA came back with an NC-17 rating, forcing the distributor to release the film (which premiered at Sundance earlier this year) unrated rather than risk commercial marginalization or impose cuts that would diminish its intensity...

Let’s be clear: Passages — which Mubi opened Aug. 4 in Los Angeles and New York before expanding to other cities in the weeks to come — is a movie with a generous amount of sex, both gay and straight. But it’s neither particularly explicit nor remotely gratuitous, even if it’s frequently quite hot.

The sex is, above all, integral to the movie’s emotional texture, to the way the characters navigate their volatile relationships, the way they express their feelings and explore their connections through their bodies as they come together and pull apart. In other words, the film’s candor in depicting sex and nudity nudges it closer to European cinema than American.

The ratings controversy around Sachs’ movie comes just as Oppenheimer has been generating talk on social media and in the press about being the first Christopher Nolan movie to feature sex scenes. The trysts between Cillian Murphy as scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer and Florence Pugh as his lover both before and during the former’s marriage earned the release an R rating, which is standard given the glimpses of sweaty flesh on view.

But the fact that people are talking about it at all — and no one has been talking about it louder than Nolan himself — just underlines how squeamish American movies are about sex and sensuality.

The sex scenes in both those movies serve a clear narrative purpose. In Nolan’s film, they convey the magnetism of Oppenheimer and its ultimately devastating effect on a woman who, while not really on screen long enough to acquire much complexity, is defined by her intellectual curiosity, political radicalism and carnal desire.

The actual intercourse — once during the affair and once years later, as a haunting specter conjured in a security hearing — is brief and somewhat mechanical, while a long post-coital discussion has Murphy and Pugh sitting naked in armchairs on opposite sides of a room, carefully positioned and framed to keep crotches out of sight. The scene looks like an interview for an admin job at a nudist colony. It’s anything but erotic.

The scene in the Paris-set Passages that evidently had the MPA clutching their pearls, by contrast, is erotically and emotionally charged, raunchy and tender. It takes place after narcissistic German filmmaker Tomas (Franz Rogowski) has strayed outside his marriage to English print-maker Martin (Ben Whishaw) with Agathe (Adèle Exarchapoulos), a French schoolteacher he met at the wrap party for his latest feature.

Back in bed with Martin again, Tomas more or less offers himself up, resulting in sex that could be a bid for forgiveness, a reconciliation, a sad acknowledgment of enduring feelings or a manipulative attempt by Tomas to keep a hold on his husband while continuing to explore a new relationship. Or it could be all of those things.

Like the movie’s other sex scenes, it’s dramatically loaded, and although it’s shot in a single take with no artful draping of the sheets, it’s hardly graphic...

The prim attitude toward sex in American movies goes beyond MPA rulings to Hollywood itself. Sex and unapologetic sensuality have been all but banished from the mainstream since the heyday of erotic thrillers in the 1980s and early ‘90s — films like Dressed to Kill, American Gigolo, Body Heat, Basic Instinct, 9½ Weeks, The Last Seduction, Color of Night and Sliver. People onscreen were getting laid and loving it back then.

What happened to make American movies so desexualized? As the holdover artistic spirit of the emancipated ‘70s faded further into the distance, studios became increasingly corporate and less creative in their thinking. In order to be profitable, movies had to play not only across the U.S. — including conservative Red states and Bible Belt regions — but internationally, where many countries have rigidly imposed codes concerning sex and nudity.

The ascendance of the superhero movie has been another nail in the coffin of sensuality. In the Superman films of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, there was most definitely something cooking between Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder. But in the more recent wave of comic book-inspired action fare, the protagonists are so sexless they might as well be genital-free Kens and Barbies...

Where, in film, is the supposed sex-positive movement that has become part of the cultural conversation? Cable and streaming platforms have stepped into the breach with shows that don’t hold back on steamy content — think Girls, Insecure, P-Valley, Bridgerton, Game of Thrones, Euphoria and The White Lotus.

So is the dearth of grownup attitudes toward sex and sensuality on big screens a stagnant situation or a step backwards? Many would argue convincingly that it’s been that way since the late ‘90s. But it’s also conceivable that we’re in a unique perfect-storm moment, where far-right conservatism has converged with post-MeToo liberal timidity. On social media, some Gen-Z filmgoers have even questioned whether sex scenes have a place in movies. Seriously, kids, you need to get out more.

The presence of intimacy coordinators on set has no doubt helped to ensure an environment of increased safety and trust for actors, establishing essential boundaries of body autonomy. But unlike so many uninhibited European screen stars, the majority of major-name American performers remain shy about stripping down and going at it.

Witness Penn Badgley declaring his dislike of filming intimate scenes and his insistence on less sex and skin for his character in season 4 of Netflix’s You out of respect for his marriage. “That aspect of Hollywood has always been very disturbing to me,” said the actor in a Variety interview. But many of us who bemoan the shortage of full-blooded sensuality at the multiplex might wonder which Hollywood he’s talking about.'

#Penn Badgley #You #Oppenheimer #Cillian Murphy #Florence Pugh #Passages #Ira Sachs #Christopher Nolan #Ben Whishaw #Franz Rogowski #Netflix #American Gigolo #Nine and a half Weeks #Adèle Exarchapoulos #Basic Instinct

[crmsnmth]

Hello

I guess I wasn't clear enough on the third version, so here's Version 4 Introductions are stupid. Hi. My name is Chris. I'm 35. I live in a small-town of about 2000 people in the center of the state of Wisconsin. It is not even close to as glamorous as it sounds. I've lived in quite a few other places though, but I guess it's true that we always go home. I work as a kitchen manager/EC. I've been working in the kitchen on and off for most of my working life. My first job was a cashier at a certain fast food pizza place that makes rectangle pizzas. That aren't good, but the breadsticks always kicked ass.

I am a massive music fan (it's playing right now) and when I tell you I listen to all music, believe me when I say all music. My main daily playlist is always growing and includes everything from iwrestledabearonce to Katy Perry (listen to her unplugged album. Kissed a Girl as a jazz type thing is beautiful) to Atmosphere to Miley Cyrus to Alan Jackson to Dying Fetus. My favorite band is Descendents with Amigo The Devil and Frank Turner coming very very close to that coveted spot. I am a major horror fan, and I don't think I own a single t-shirt that isn't somehow horror related. I'm a sucker for the 80's slashers. I've seen every Friday the 13th movie enough times that if you ever watch them with me, I will annoy you by quoting the lines throughout the whole movie. I am Bipolar. Type 1. I am a raging cynic.

I am an addict in (long-term) recovery. I am sober. I write more than any sane person does, but I never once claimed to be sane. I write because if I don't, my head will explode. You can think this a metaphor all you want.

I do not write for anyone's approval, not even my own. I do this because it's a safe form of release that it's ok to be addicted to. If you have constructive criticism, I'll gladly take it because let's face it, I'm pretty bad at this whole thing. If you're just going to tell me I suck, in however many words, well, I don't need you to tell me that. Dick. I don't follow any rules or guidelines in what I write. So I call it lawless poetry even though half of it doesn't even fit poetry. Most of it is stream of conciseness built around a line or phrase I came up with during the day. I do this every single night. It's my ritual before bed. I journal (which is also posted in a blog) and then I work on my phrases and lines. I've been called garbage at this, but to those who can't give me a reason (other then you don't like it)if you can't back up your reason for being an art critic, your opinion means jack to me. Besides, anyone who claims to be an art critic is a narcissistic jackass. Art is subjective. Not just "I don't like it." Tell me why you don't like it. Tell me it's repetitive. I need to stop. Or I'll rant and moan about why I hate armchair critics for way too long.

So what will you find on my tiny drop in the ocean of the internet? You will see bad poetry, and an awful lot of it to be honest. You'll find random drops of fiction or a story I happen to be working on and want some form of opinion on it. I post at least once a day, but can post up to ten or fifteen times a day. And most of it is just your average mundane sad boy bad poetry. And if you see how much I do post, think of how much stuff I have laying around that never gets touched. I have boxes of notebooks, napkins and matchbooks with lines I thought were clever.

So since I write so much, what the hell is it exactly that I write about? That's easy. I'm pretty predictable in the end. So, this stuff: The Girl With Ocean Blue Eyes*, Kid*,The Broken Mirror Girl*, My Junkie Angel*, The Girl From California*, An Ex Band-Mate*, love, lost lovers, hopelessness, isolation, drug addiction, alcoholism, depression, forgotten acquaintances, mental illnesses, rage, hate, rejection, joy, insignificant moments, slices of life, laughter, beauty, self and self-reflection, self-hate, art, other writers, panic, infatuations, obsession, therapy, group homes, rehab, jail, grace, nature, loss, hope, fear, grief, anguish, philosophy, anarchism, nihilism, religion, god, the devil, ugliness, politics, serial killers, cults, suicide, death, destruction, chaos, music, validation, closure, memory, enemies, friends, rock bottom, sex, violence, rock and roll, sin, self-exploration, bipolar disorder, schizoaffecive disorder, pain, self-destruction much more.

Consider this line right here your trigger warning. Please see above to see my chosen subjects, and it should be clear that I will write something that can bring up some feelings. I make music as well for another creative outlet. No, I don't churn out songs like I do the written word, but I love my music and if you would like to tell me how much I suck at it here's the links:

If I come off as extremely depressed in my work, please know that I am fine. I'm good. Ok? Ok.

There, now you know the barest of my bare bones. You want to know anything else, just ask. I'm always happy for the fifteen second interaction. And I always try to interact with those who interact with me, but I am not one to talk first. If you follow me, know that I will most likely follow you back. Unless your space is empty, a bot, or straight-up porn.

*Not their real names.

#writing #introduction #introductory post #blog intro #intro post #pinned post #pinned intro #introduction post #hello #hi #my writing #about myself

[marciabrady]

some HOT disney princess takes that you'll hate or love but i fully stand by regardless. lets discuss~

singing/having a powerful voice is aurora's thing, not ariel's! ariel misses her concert in the beginning of the film, struggles with using her auditory voice to effectively communicate, and even gives it up to turn human. it means little/nothing to her and i think people just attribute singing to her, the same way sebastian and her father do, because it's a plot point in her movie meanwhile if ariel knew you all irl she would not be doing sing alongs like that. on the contrary, aurora is literally blessed with the SUPERNATURAL gift of song from birth by a magical fairy, uses it to express herself, and famously sings more than she speaks. so much of aurora's identity is tied into her song and i really think, if there was a singer or someone who owns the "voice" among the princesses, it should be aurora- besides, have you literally ever heard of a more divinely ethereal but also epic and powerful voice than mary costa's??? like don't get me wrong, jodi benson ATE but also after jodi, all the princesses more or less have a similar broadway sound but like no one else can do what aurora did

snow white should be the leader of the princesses. i love cinderella, i do, but snow white was literally the first and imo is the most groundbreaking female character, animated or not, of ALL TIME and she deserves her flowers. also, i think people are FINALLY coming around to see cinderella's value after years of "cinderella ate my daughter" weird misogyny masquerading around as feminism criticisms and i think a lot of that is centered around cinderella being an abuse victim and that's what's warming a lot of people to her...which i love, really i do. but snow white was also abused and, in her film, makes it a point to end the cycle of abuse. she was even the victim of a murder attempt, after which she continues to pick herself up and find shelter and work for her keep, and that gets lost so much and i think, whereas cinderella's dreams center around happiness, snow white singing of the fact that she's dreaming of the nice things someone would say to her and the way she needs grumpy to like her makes so much sense given her background and i literally never EVER see anyone discussing abuse when it comes to snow white. i think if people started talking her character more seriously and analyzing and appreciating it the way y'all do elsa, we would be saved from the heinously bad takes that get attributed to her (see: rachel zegler. that girl has not said ONE valid thing about snow white and her views are so embarrassingly stamped by pseudo online activism from the early 2000s by users that, not only don't realize how dumb they are but also think they're smarter than everyone else because they dabble in armchair psychology, and it's enough)

ariel collecting isn't leaned into as much as it should be tbh (and i'm talking as a serious pastime, not a parody of her never understanding human things that's contingent on her being a mermaid or being totally ignorant to humans)!!! like we get it, belle reads, but i think ariel collecting as a hobby is so much more interesting and well-rounded and nuanced. like, first of all, ariel collecting doesn't eliminate other hobbies, but actually promotes them! like she has books in her grotto, and we see her reading in poyw, but that's not the ONLY thing to her! she probably picks up on so many tiny details about like historical time periods or climates or dress patterns in a way that heightens life and reality and bridges people together because of all the studying she does and it's just soooo interesting to me, as we see things like the historical community evolve on tiktok and people who are fascinated with studying other cultures and the evolution of fandom in general, etc. also, i get this might be super super hot of a take but i think jodi performs certain songs better than she does part of your world...like i do love the song and i think it's more than worthy of being ariel's character's theme song but there's definitely some other bops in there that are just as good, if not better

belle should have a sequel where she gets to be unlikable for a change! even when she is unlikable in the film, it's never perceived as a character fault and linda woolverton's writing/the other characters in the film just blind hero worship and idolize belle and it's creepy tbh and i think it robs her of being a fully realized person that's treated like other people and can build human connections! like, everyone thinks she's stunning and wants a piece of her and never really takes her to task about her character flaws or even mentally challenges her and i think that's why she's so depressed? people only view her as being ultra desirable, whether it's the castle objects seeing her as a beautiful girl that can fall in love with the beast to the point where they ignore the really shady stuff she does, or gaston thinking she's the most beautiful girl in town and wanting to marry her, or even her fans thinking she's the smartest female character who ever breathed and is incapable of flaws. i think if we treated belle more as a person, maybe she could also have an arc in her movie and it wouldn't just be about the beast! also i think it'd be refreshing and we'd allow women to be people, too, and not this "smartest girl in town, but modest about it, prettiest girl in town, but unaware of it, loyal to her father but still stands up for herself, etc etc etc" unrealistic model. belle deserves EQUALS not just admirers who will never measure up to this pedestal they put her on

cinderella 1950 and cinderella 2015 are not interchangeable as characters or films!!! kenneth and lily did a HORRIBLE job at interpreting ilene woods's cinderella and the changes they made are shameful and the original character had so much more strength and realism to her, but in her own feminine way, and lily's character was a giant step back and is the epitome of making loud changes that result to NOTHING. the way the entire 2015 cast badmouthed cinderella 1950 on their press tour has always sat uncomfortably with me and so many people prefer it over the original one i just. also, cinderella looks best in pink! i LOVE aurora in pink, and we're omitting silver because that IS cinderella's color and nothing compares, but i just think she's so vibrant and cute in her pink dress and i love her with her hair down and it's just so much more fun and human and it doesn't get nearly as much attention as it should

they desperately need to age the content/demographics of the franchise up, like ngl them turning these women (and yes, i think they're women not little girls and the point of their movies is them BECOMING women) into like little nursery crib characters for babies and infantilizing them is creepy. also a HUGE segment of the fanbase is an adult one, like fans of the disney renaissance ladies are typically in the 20s-40s, not four year old's, and i just think disney is doing themselves a disservice by largely ignoring all the adult fans who collect these characters and make artwork for them and keep the princesses in vogue by writing about them and making social media content about them. like the avengers can really tap into their fanbase like that, meanwhile the best us princess fans have are like 8 dollar playline dolls?!?! where is our movie!!! where is our CONTENT. the 2003 princess party dvds will no longer suffice!

#mine #disney princess

[julili]

i know i’m terribly late with this, but i finally finished Balan Wonderworld on 100% (with all figures) and just wanted to draw another art to say thank you to this game. i loved every second of it.

i came to this fandom before playing the game, because i was highly invested in concept of theatre, and oh my lord we have SO few games with such topic, like i try to search for more games with theatre and i found nothing. i know this isn’t very popular theme, but i’m grateful we still have something of it.

i came to fandom because i love fairy tales, i love musicals and dramas with happy endings, but i was highly disappointed to discover that this game has a bad gameplay. i read all critics’ reviews and couldn’t understand, why creators didn’t do this game well? until one day i decided to stop listening to others and try to play this game myself, because i loved the story and characters, i wanted to see if the game really that bad and not enjoyable.

...and as i said, i loved every second of it and i do not regret i played it.

sure, gameplay isn’t evolutionary, but it never suppoused to be that way. it was ment to look like an old, simple and weird in a good way game. yes, i do understand why people think gameplay is boring, but i think the settings, the music, the characters and morals are making this game good. i agree that it could be better if creators would make this a movie, but i do understand why they made this a game. because they wanted you to travel through this adventure, to be a part of a journey, to feel the magic and positivity this game is trying to give. it’s a game that isn’t about gameplay, it’s about everything else. sadly, people disliked it because they were sad the game wasted it’s potential, but you know why this game has fans? because they’re glad this game has potential. and instead of throwing tomatoes they decided to help this game to shine brighter, just like this game helped them.

that’s why i want to address not to people who hate this game, but to people who love it.

guys.

you’re amazing.

when i came to this fandom i didn’t expect it to be so warm and comfortable like an armchair near fireplace <3 i was sure there won’t be any content for this game because of it’s reputation, but when i searched for it i was SHOCKED to see SO much beautiful artworks, fictions, theories and headcanons! i was so happy to know that there ARE people who says “i don’t care what you think, we love this game!”. this is why i stayed, this is why i started to create content too, and you guys greeted me with open arms and it was SO nice of you! i haven’t met such pure, healthy and lovable fandom in my whole life. so that’s why i started to think that maybe Balan failed for this exact reason... to gather us all together.

yes, we may be a small fandom, there are not many of us, but i can tell we are stronger than lots of big fandoms, because we’re stand for each other and support each other every day, every hour, every second! like was said in this game - life is and adventure and we are making every minute worth it!

and that’s why i believe that we can make this fandom bigger, and it’ll grow into a big warm fuzzy (like a tim) community <3

please don’t stop filling this game with your talent and creativity. this is what this game truly deserves. and if someone think otherwise - i hope one day they’ll see why do we love this game so much. 

just like Balan loves all of us <3

#balan wonderworld #bww #fanart

[anki-of-beleriand]

The house at the edge of the world Ch.5

Summary: Y/N is the owner of an Airbnb at the edge of the world, a place in which Wanda would either heal or become what everyone is afraid of.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff/SW! x Female!Reader

Warnings: Minors DNI! +18, angst, drama, slow burn, friends to lovers, pregnancy, romance, fluff, mentions of depression and self harm, healing, R owns an Airbnb that welcomes many known characters from Marvel, R has powers, Wanda needs healing, and so does R. Idiots in love. More warnings as the story progress.

Author's Note: Scarlet Witch makes a more define appearance in this chapter, and Wanda it's starting to feel confused, much like R. So, at some point I was thinking about Eternal!Reader, but...I decided against it and do something different. It will be explained later. I hope you guys like this chapter, thank you so much for the support.

Thank you for reading. English is no my mother tongue so I do apologize for any grammar, spelling or funny mistake.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Epilogue

Chapter 5

 The face of jealousy

By the time morning arrived, Wanda Maximoff found herself curled up in an unknown location glancing directly into a woman she had met just a few weeks ago.

This was a hole new experience for her, watching your sleeping form with your mouth hanging open slightly and some spit on the corner of your mouth. You looked cute, and Wanda found herself smiling despite the warning inside her head.

There was a familiar speeding of her heart, and the dark thoughts mixed with the confusion created by you and your actions made her body trembled and her breathing become erratic for a moment. Wanda was having a fight inside her head, she found herself facing not only a myriad of familiar emotions that had brought her to where she was now; but she was also facing new ones. Emotions she was not completely familiar with, emotions she thought would never experience again.

The day before was something she had missed greatly.

It was real. Everything was so real, like being with them again. But what about Vision? What about our world?

That voice that sounded so much like hers, yet so different. The same voice that had started questioning everything though always looking for a way to continue with the initial plan. Vision. Her family, Her perfect life. A place where there was no more loneliness or sadness, where she could be herself, where she would not hurt anyone.

What does this mean?

But Wanda and her alter ego didn’t have an answer to that question. Not yet, anyway.

You stirred in your sleep, mumbling something unintelligible while wincing when your foot brushes against the surface of the sofa. Wanda felt her hear shrank at the sight, her body tensing ready to help you any way she could to ease the pain and the discomfort. The thought made her panic, and in her indecision and confusion she turned around putting her feet on the floor.

It wasn’t until then she realized her shoes were not on, and a light sheet had been placed on top of her. Wanda blinked away the nest that was made around her that made her sleeping arrangement comfortable enough to not create any muscle discomfort on her. Once more she turned her green eyes to you, why were you doing all of this?

Friends, I want us to be friends. This is what friends do, watch awful movies and criticized the acting.

Your voice filled her head, Wanda clenched her fist closed taking a deep breath while trying to push her emotions and thoughts about you away. She went to her shoes, standing up while making sure she had all her stuff on her before leaving; she was really trying to be silent but she tangled with the sheet around her feet almost falling on top of you, her hands holding her up from the armchair and the sofa back. Wanda felt just as the blood rush to her cheeks, and her green eyes found those of yours blinking away your sleepiness with a hint of confusion that soon was replaced by amusement.

“Now, that’s a way to wake up.” You mumbled stretching a little, you looked around then settled your eyes on Wanda that seemed frozen in place trying to hide her flustered face from you. You raised a brow at her, lips curling up slightly. “So, anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, I…I’m sorry, I almost fell down and…” Wanda tried to stand up, in her eagerness she almost fell down again until you held her up by her shoulders.

“Woah, just…really to early for this clumsiness.” You chuckled when Wanda finally stood up kicking the bed sheet off her feet, she brushed her hair with a hand while trying to cover her face with the other.

“Sorry, I almost fell and I didn’t want to wake you up and…” Wanda stopped abruptly, she took a deep breath mortified when she heard your chuckles. She dared to glance at you, but the only thing she found was amusement and understanding.

“As I said, too early.” You mumbled glancing around while stretching out, you wanted to continue the teasing but Wanda was looking rather shaken as it was so you thought it wouldn’t be prudent to do so.

“What time is it?” You asked leaning back on the sofa, Wanda flickered her eyes to the clock on the wall.

“7AM.” She straightened up gathering courage to offer you a kind smile, “I want to thank you for yesterday, it was really nice. And sorry about the…the abrupt awakening.”

You shrugged sitting up wincing when your foot touch the floor for a moment, you knew that day your foot would be even worse than the day before but still it surprised you how much it hurt. The morning breeze seemed to be sneaking in from the open door of your yard, the sun and the light of the day was already bright enough to let you see how messy everything around you was. It didn’t matter though, last night had been one of the best nights of your life and that was saying a lot. Your face softened at the memory, your lips quirking up.

“No problem, Principessa, it was the perfect awakening.” You snickered at the roll of her eyes, you yawned looking around before settling your eyes on her. “Though I have to say, I did miss my training sessions in which you would look at me from afar.”

“I think it is way too early for you to start with this.” Wanda said rolling her eyes, though you could see this time around she did look relax.

“It is never too early to flirt with a beautiful woman, Principessa.” You winked at her and this time around you could see her blush there. You glanced at all the dishes and the complete disorder of the place making a face while redirecting your stare to your foot.

“What would you say if I get a nice cup of black coffee and breakfast? Then, I think I need to organize around here.”

Wanda shifted to one for and the other, worrying her teeth on her lip. Indecision written in her eyes before she stepped back a little her hands wiggling around, there was a pushed on her mind and she decided to speak again.

“Your foot it’s hurting you, I can see that.” She finally pointed with her head to your foot, “I could stay and help you around, I mean…I wanted to go back to the house, didn’t want to overstay after last night.”

You cocked your head pressing your lips together, “you’re not overstaying here, Wanda. I actually am glad you’re still here. We have a fun time, didn’t know romcoms could be so fun to watch or that you were such a scaredy cat for horror movies.”

Something happened at that moment, Wanda saw you sitting on the sofa with a bandage foot and a smile looking up at her with such an open expression on your face. Her heart stopped beating for a moment, and everything came back at her like a whirlpool of uncontained emotions.

“I don’t know how to thank you for last night…” she started talking trying to hold herself back. “I really don’t know what to say…”

You cocked your head with your lips quirking up, “Wanda, you don’t need to say anything.”

Wanda sighed in frustration, “but I need to say something! I just…I don’t know how to say it.”

She was still unsure of how to express everything she felt the day before, she was unable to speak to you of her family how what you did bring back the memories she had of her mom, dad and brother. How instead of being sad, she felt nostalgic and a part of her became alive after all those years of having mourned them it finally felt as…as if she would never forget about them, as if they were right there with her.

She could never thank you enough for making her feel like that. For bringing memories she had forgotten. She had been in such a constant rollercoaster of emotions; she had never stopped to enjoy the things she used to love. She remembered those first days back at the Avenger’s compound trying to catch up with old sitcoms, building a friendship and a relationship with Vision while entering a life that had left her alone.

She had forgotten what it was to be normal.

She had forgotten what it was to not fear for her life, or her powers or what city they should move next. Wanda knew she had been truing to get a hold of the sense of normality she was living at the moment, that was one of the pillars of the world she had built in Westview. That was one of her goals by creating her own world, with her own rules.

Wanda sighed brushing her hair once more, looking away while lifting her head to the ceiling. Her eyes blurring under the weight of everything she had been feeling for so long, she wished she could heal herself the way some physical wounds could be healed, she wished it wouldn’t take so long for her to stop feeling the pain, the deep sadness and loneliness, or the confusion and the sense of betrayal she got whenever she thought of you.

“You really don’t have to say anything, Wanda.” Her name sounded comforting in your voice; Wanda put her arms around herself looking away for a moment. “You have gone through so much, I get it.”

“No, you don't." Wanda took a deep breath, whatever sense of happiness she felt the night before, whatever peace or tranquillity she experienced was soon washed away by the overwhelming emotion raging inside her mind. 

“My life has been a constant rollercoaster ever since I lost my parents, everything from that point on had been disaster after disaster and I haven’t been able to take a breath and stopped feeling like this.” Wanda let out a humourless laugh, she furrowed her brows lowering her face as she continued. “I have lost everything and everyone I love, time and time again I have lost and the moment I finally got a glimpse of happiness, the moment I finally got everything I wanted…”

You didn’t expect the confession, if you were to be honest with yourself you never expect the young woman standing before you to actually reveal anything to you. And you respected that, you offered your friendship because you knew it was something she might need. Not because it was you, but because sometimes we really did need someone to be there for us. Your heart broke at the sight of Wanda breaking in ways you hadn’t seen before.

“And just when I got it…it got rip from me, it wasn’t right. I shouldn’t do it. My abilities are good enough to kill the love of my life but not to bring him back and build a world for just the two of us.”

Wanda wasn’t sure when she started crying, but soon she could not stop herself. The tears rolled down her cheeks freely and the sob got caught on her throat as she trembled hugging herself to bring some sense of comfort. You didn’t even know what impulse you to do it, but soon you found yourself standing up and without any hesitation you wrapped your arms around her. Her response was immediate, she wrapped her arms around you resting her face on the crook of your neck sobbing while holding onto you tightly.

When was the last time someone had really hug her? When had someone really tried to comfort her? How many times had Wanda cried out for help, for a friendly hand and never gotten any answer?

You realized at that moment that Wanda had never really had a moment to catch up her broken heart and continued. How many sacrifices?

You didn’t know how long the both of you stood there, she was trembling in your arms and her sobs became mere whispers and breathy sighs while your neck and clothes felt wet from the tears and sweat just as her arms seemed to lose their grip on you. Little by little she calmed down; her body tensed slightly while she let go of you.

"Sorry." She mumbled, her warm breath made you shivered, you leaned back seeking out her eyes. 

"Nothing to be sorry for, Wanda. I can barely imagine what it was like," You help her wiped the tears from her face, your movements tender, reassuring. “I'm here for you, for whatever you need.”

She smiled weakly at you, leaning into your touch just as you wiped away her tears distractedly never noticing her soft smile or the way she was looking at you.

"Yesterday I was reminded of them, my momma, papa and Pietro.” She whispered the revelation, with just a flash of doubt in her eyes, Wanda did something that would haunt you and her for quite some time. She leaned in placing a kiss on your cheek, it was a simple touch of lips against your skin until she just pressed her face on the crook of your neck once more, her arms around your back.

“Thank you, Y/N, it had been so long since…since I have such a good time, since I got…I got a nice memory of them. Thank you.”

You stood frozen there, the memory of the peck on your cheek still burning in your mind. You cleared your voice speaking just as softly as she had done.

“There are some things in life we cannot change, Wanda, that’s the reason we have memories, that’s why we should always hold onto the good times.” You clenched your eyes closed feeling her so close to you it was almost maddening. “For those things that we can change, we should never deny ourselves that opportunity. Sometimes, life has a funny way to tell you happiness it’s still out there waiting for you to just give it that chance.”

Wanda closed her eyes drowning in the comfort of your arms and warmth against hers, you let yourself relaxed under her arms until you put your right foot down and a sharp pain went all the wait up to your chest and head. You let out an exclamation of pain your knees buckling, making you falter on your feet, it was really stupid the way you fell back dragging Wanda with you until you hit the sofa with her right on top of you.

The pain was pulsating all the way up your leg, and the flustered expression on Wanda was not only for her recent embarrassment but also for the tears she had shed. You held back your laughter, the perfect situation to break the tension building around the both of you.

"Well, I hope you don't think I'm an easy girl just because we have our first date." You teased glancing down at Wanda that was on top of you, the young woman blushed a pretty crimson hiding her face away. 

"Oh God, don't! It was an accident!" She exclaimed, you chuckled tapping on her shoulder. She glanced at you and you could see those puffy eyes more content than they were a moment ago. At least she also thought this was funny. 

"So, I mean not that it bothers me but… are you going to move away anytime soon? My leg is still hurting…" You laughed at how fast she stood up putting her hair back while covering her face with both hands. 

“Oh, god, I’m sorry!”

"You're far too easy, Wands," You sat up wincing as another wave of pain went through your leg. 

"God I hate you! Really how could you…" Wanda sighed letting out a tiny smile. "How do you do it?" 

“What?” You asked innocently, she just shook her head looking away from you. You sighed holding your leg with one hand before winking at her. “It’s actually part of my charm, Principessa, everyone loves it.”

Wanda wiped away the last of her tears, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. She knelt down then taking your wounded feet in her hands, you yelped trying to move it away but she held it firmly furrowing her brows. 

“Your foot it’s swollen and I can see blood in here.” 

“I suspect as much." You held back the exclamation of pain as she tried to unwrap the bandages and see the wound itself. 

"I will bring you some painkillers and I want you to stay here.” Wanda said in a firm voice, she was really concern about the wound and how you had strained it by walking around the house. Her face lifted up until her green eyes were on you.

“I will help you around the house, getting everything organized. That means I don’t want you walking around to hurt yourself even more.”

You smiled at her wiggling your brows, “you’re a little bossy, Principessa. Do you like it? Ordering me around?”

This time around Wanda shook her head smiling at you, “you’re impossible, you know that, right?”

“I’m well aware of it, yes.” Then on a more serious note you tilted your head at her. "You don't have to stay, you know? I can rest a little and then go around getting everything in order…" 

"I know, I want to stay." Wanda replied. 

"You don't have to do it to thank me for last night either…." You continued; you lifted your gaze when Wanda placed a hand on your knee squeezing tenderly. 

"I'm staying because you need help, and I want to help. I'm not doing it because I'm repaying a favour or your gesture from yesterday, Y/N." Wanda shifted from one foot to the other. "We are friends, right?" 

You nodded and Wanda offered a smile. 

"Then, this is what friends do. Let me help. I want to help. I need to help."

You understood then and there, she wasn't ready to go back to the house. She wasn't ready to leave just yet. But was not sure on how to ask to stay in your company. You wondered for a moment if she was aware of the influence of the Darkhold if perhaps she knew that being alone with it would be like an open invitation to its influence. 

"Okay, then… thank you, for the help." You replied leaning back and watching Wanda all morning.

It was strange, how the both of you would speak of different topics. What she liked and what she knew, what you like and what you knew. The topics you had in common, the opinions you held about certain topics. It was interesting, and soon you found yourself drawn to her all over again. Wanda was smart, she was funny and she was…

You were afraid to find out more.

For the very first time in a long time, you found yourself spellbound. And it scared you deeply to feel like that again. And yet, there you were, allowing the young woman to build a nice place in your heart, with her eyes, and her smile.

Later on, when Wanda was back in the house she stood there for a good minute.

She could hear the voice of her mother rather upset at how messy everything in the house was. With a wishful smile, Wanda remembered her mother coming in with schedule and a task for each one of them to get the apartment cleaned up. The day before, and this day had been perfect in so many ways; she glanced at the reflection on the fridge, a flicker of red went by but she didn’t even flinch, instead she went right to the broom closet and decided it was about time for her to put some order in the house.

Your dynamic with Wanda changed completely.

The next day she was back there with you, helping you out in the yard while trying to do a more relaxed training session just before offering to make breakfast. Everything between the both of you became domestic, she spent most of her time on your backyard or in your living room watching movies and TV shows while enjoying light conversations with you.

Every day was different, and you realized you seek out her company as much as she sought yours.

As the days passed by everything you could think of was Wanda, her smile, and her voice. How she could crunch up her nose adorably when trying to argue a case she was dying to protect, or how she would roll her eyes at you whenever you started light flirting with her.

It was so different, and soon you forgot all about the world outside only dedicating your time to her and the times you spend together.

She got to know your cooking, and you got to experience hers.

Sometimes, the both of you would sit down right at the border of the cliff observing the sunset while talking about her; getting to know her in ways you never thought you would care. And in all of this, soon you and her noticed how little you had shared to her about your life; and you how much you wanted to tell her, but the fear of getting hurt again would always stop you until you end up sharing a non-essential information about you.

And while you thought this went unnoticed by her, Wanda was waiting for a chance to actually ask you the reason for this. For the secrecy, for your reluctance. As the time passed and she got to spend more and more time with you, the only thing Wanda wanted to do was to get to know you.

The real you.

The one that would offer a soft smile, or a warm embrace. The one that had so many secrets yet seemed so open and ready to share the world with her.

The real you, the one Wanda was starting to feel more than friendly emotions for.

Wanda had been divided in two for a long time, her heart was no longer in her study of the Darkhold or ways to go back to her created world. She and the Scarlet Witch seemed to be torn in between the mirage of emotions she was starting to feel for you and the ones she was putting to rest.

But as fate would have it, she never got the chance to ask the right questions, and you found yourself in the midst of a strange set of interactions that left you wondering what was happening with you and Wanda.

*****

After two weeks it wasn’t that difficult for you to put your foot on the ground and walked around without any effort. However, it didn’t mean that whenever you put some pressure on it, the pain and discomfort wouldn’t come back.

Much like it happened that morning, when you almost fell on your face for resting your weight on it. You winced limping down the road leading to the garden, your lips curling slightly as you remembered you would meet Wanda there.

The sky was dark, with heavy clouds gliding right above your head and a cold wind that announced an oncoming storm. Wanda and you had heard the weather’s forecast, with Wanda offering to take care of the garden to make sure nothing would happen to it if rain and wind would come. You had accepted but it didn’t mean you couldn’t surprise her, right?

The last couple of weeks had been amazing for you, it was such a strange sensation that began on your heart and spread out all through your body bringing the foolish grin you were wearing at the moment. You never thought this newfound friendship with Wanda would make you feel this way, but you like it. It was fresh, and something you really needed.

There was a sound to the left, you stopped for a moment glancing around with your hands twitching at your side. You furrowed your brows, but before you could resume your stroll a pair of arms wrapped around your midsection, your body tense ready to push away the newcomer when a set of soft lips placed themselves on your pulse point sucking lightly.

"Why are you limping?" The deep, velvety tone of Thena filled your senses just as you turned around and a pair of lips met with yours. 

She kissed you slowly, almost invitingly her hands rubbing your sides until they rest on your back. You pressed your tongue forward deepening the kiss before it was necessary to take a breath; you let out a snort, your lips curling in a familiar smile while your eyes fluttered open.

Thena was standing before you wearing a single, white dress with golden sandals, her golden locks falling like a cascade on her back and the wicked smile on her face made her eyes twinkled with mischief. She raised a single eyebrow, and it told you she was waiting for you to answer her question.

"I was training,” You started the explanation, you rolled your eyes when your voice broke into a husky tone filled with desire for the kiss you just shared. “I step on a rock and hurt my foot.”

"Did you hurt yourself for trying to impress your new guest?” Thena asked teasingly, you groaned shaking your head.

“Gods, did Sprite tell everyone about that? She is just a friend!” You exclaimed breaking into a smile when Thena laughed.

“You never get work up for a friend, Y/N.” Thena then shot you a mischievous smile.

The defensive tone you took on, and the blush on your face told the older woman there was something there; but Thena knew if she were to press matters with you she would only get denials and you trying to evade the topic until the end of times. Besides, she had come to enjoy your company and while the both of you had not made promises of exclusivity, for the time being she would be selfish and keep you for herself.

"When did you guys get here?" You asked turning to continue your stroll, Thena wrapped a supporting arm around you easing the tiredness on your good leg. 

"Yesterday, Gil asked Ajak to keep our arrival a secret, we wanted to surprise you."

"We? Or was it only you?" 

Her answer to your question was her lips on your ear, whispering seductively. 

"I was hoping to catch you off guard and have the same fun we have last time."

Before you could do or say something her lips were on yours again. This time her kiss was needy, hungry, and demanding, she groaned into the kiss your arms finding her waist and putting her closer. Things would have gone out of hand, much like the last time if it hadn't been by the noise of approaching footsteps and the gasp of a very shocked Wanda. 

You jumped startle putting some distance between you and Thena. Your eyes finding those of Wanda that had on a mask of pure indifference on her, her eyes gleaming while they went from you to Thena then back at you 

"I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just…" She waved her hand away showing the back road leading to the garden, her cheeks covered in a dust of pink. 

"You…you didn't interrupt…" you winced at your words, Thena snorted stepping forward her eyes looking Wanda up and down before stretching her hand. 

"You must be the guest, I'm Thena." The young witch furrowed her brows, her green eyes moving from you to Thena, she stood there for a while before taking the offering hand. 

"I'm Wanda." She replied with a hint of coldness in her tone, the hand of the blond-haired woman clenched around hers and Wanda had to refrain from wincing at the tight grip. "Thena, you're the owner of the secret garden up the hill?" 

"The very same, and old friend of Y/N."

"I could see that."  Wanda replied in a strange tone, her green eyes flashed you an indecipherable stare before they settle on Thena. "It was a pleasure, but I better kept going and leave you to… the same fun you two have last time." 

She flashed you a strained smile walking past the both of you, you stood frozen in place for a moment before turning sharply only to see the retreating form of Wanda. Your eyes on her back and explanation at the tip of your tongue. You refrained yourself though, what explanations you had to give to other woman? Why would you give explanations? 

You furrowed your brows as these questions danced around your head, Thena observed you with a mixture of emotions. She knew the both of you were not exclusive, she was an Eternal and you just had a long life, eventually the ages of the world would catch up to you. What bothered Thena though, was your indecision and the energy from the other woman. The tension surrounding both of you; she was not fancy seeing the same suffering you went through last time.

"Are you going to follow her or are we going to my garden?" 

You shook your head, turning around to see Thena looking at you. After a moment of hesitation and one last glance to the road Wanda had disappear into you went to the blond woman following her deeper into the hill. 

______________________________________________________________

Wanda closed the door behind her resting her back on the door. 

She was breathing hard, sweat falling down her face though for some reason there was a blurry edge in her eyes. She couldn’t explain the emotion she was experiencing, there was something weighing her down until she was having some difficulty with her breathing.

There was a pressing image in her mind, you grabbing the blond-haired woman pressing her to your body, your head tilted to deepen a kiss Wanda wasn’t supposed to witness. Her legs and hands were trembling, and once in the safety of the house she finally allowed herself to go back to a place that was familiar and safe.

The room flickered in a flash of red, she tried to hold onto a single memory trying to drown the memories of you kissing the blond woman.

Pathetic. 

What was she doing? Why was she feeling like this? It was such a stupid emotion; she just needed to clear her head and refocus her energy on her goal. Right, Vision… 

God, how could she forget about Vision? 

His face came right in, but her thoughts were a mixture of undefined images of him and her running and spending what little time they got in between their life's as heroes and fugitives. Wanda tried to hold onto those images, thinking herself a fool when her heart broke a little at the sight of you kissing that woman. 

Pathetic. 

Wanda had learnt to hear her own voice projected just outside of her mind. It tended to be deep and haughty trying to convince her of her duty, some others it sounded angry and frustrated, and then there were others in which she could detect her own sadness. Right now, she was sounding strange and croaky and affected. 

Are you going to leave it like that? Isn’t she…ours? 

"No." Wanda clenched her jaw looking away from the reflection where she knew she would find herself looking just like she did back in Westview. There was no thinking about her recent emotions, about the confusion she had been experiencing since her visit to the town. 

She was not thinking about you as hers, because that would mean right now she felt jealousy, and that could only mean…

But we are jealous…

“No, no…I’m not.” Wanda repeated to herself, she tried to shift her focus to what was familiar to her.

It was Vision her main focus, that was the reason she had accepted to come all the way here. That was the reason she had been trying to build her world and get away from everything and everyone and that should be her main focus once more. 

Wanda went straight ahead to the bathroom; she was in some serious need of a shower and a way to clear up her mind. 

The room changed with a flickered of her hand, Wanda had been playing a dangerous game with herself and the Darkhold. The book materialised out of thin air, her eyes gleaming red when she tried to quiet down her thoughts or the beating of her heart. A part of her holding onto the last thread of desire for the life she could build with magic, the scene she had just witnessed pressing against her thoughts while she tried to grab onto the memory of Vision. 

Sweet handsome Vision that had sacrificed himself uselessly. Vision, the loved of her life the one she had killed and then tried to bring back in a world of her own creation. 

Wanda huffed in exasperation, a mixture of conflicting emotions going through her while she tried to wash away everything she was experiencing. 

What is grief if not love preserving?

______________________________________________________________

By the time Thena and you were going back to the house, the wind had increased bringing with it a humid almost cold atmosphere that told you rain was inevitable.

This new weather seemed to clash perfectly with the sensation you got from the guest’s house. You glanced at the place; the windows were dark but a shiver went right down your back making the hairs on your neck to stand up. You stopped with Thena standing right beside you, she was just as tensed as you were.

“Have you tried to do something about it?” You didn’t need to ask what she was referring to; you pressed your lips together hesitating.

“I’ve been trying to do something.” You replied flickering your eyes to her, Thena nodded curtly.

“Whatever it is, do it fast.” She walked ahead of yourself crossing paths with Gil that was coming to you with a huge smile.

“Y/N!” The big guy came at you wrapping his arms tight around you, putting you from the ground. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too, Gil.” You chuckled, glancing at the man with a soft smile. “How have you been?”

“Good, good, missing the weather of the Riviera.” Gil lowered his gaze to you then cocked his head to see the open door Thena had used moments ago. “Kinda happy you guys finally learnt to have fun out of innocent ears.”

He wiggled his eyebrows while you just rolled your eyes, soon Ajak came from the main entrance followed by Sprite.

“Don’t say that, nothing happened, we were just talking.” You mumbled knowing the man would never believe you. “Let’s go, you big goofus.”

The house felt like a home all over again, it had been quite some time since you had last seen Thena, Gil and even Sprite; life with them had been so sporadic and after so many conflicts it was good to have them back, to talk to them. To share with them. You wished it would be easier, and that the rest of the family could come together as you did once.

But even like that, you loved sitting down on your stool in the kitchen with Gil talking about his most recent adventures with Thena. Or Sprite telling everyone about the most recent technological invention, or Ajak trying to ask everyone what they wanted for lunch.

“Y/N, please pass me the lettuce and, do you have some onions?” You were to move to the fridge when the older woman caught the wince on your face.

Ajak narrowed her eyes at you, and you tried to wave away the sudden concern in her eyes until she straightened up signalling the stool again.

“Gil, bring the lettuce and the onions. You, sit. Now!” You winced alongside Gil, soon you sat down and Gil was going over the fridge.

“Look, I have a pretty good explanation for this…” You started but soon Sprite chimed in.

“You were trying to impress your girlfriend, Thena told us.” Sprite smirked at you, but you just rolled your eyes, opening your mouth to protests.

“Couldn’t you impress her with something less dangerous or damaging to you?” Ajak retorted, you opened your mouth again ready to explain to them that Wanda was not your girlfriend and that the wound was not that bad. It was healing.

Ajak knelt down taking off your shoe and the bandages examining the wound.

“Why didn’t you call me? This looks like a deep wound, and it has been healing slowly because it is obvious you have forced it ever since the first day.” Ajak couldn’t help the reproachful tone in her voice, she shot you a worried glance ready to use her abilities when your hand stopped her.

“I didn’t want…” You started hesitatingly, you knew Gil and Sprite had their eyes on you, you pursed your lips speaking again. “Look, Wanda doesn’t know anything about you guys, or even me. And I want to keep it that way.”

“Why don’t you want her to know about you?” This time around Sprite was looking at you confused, you shrugged when Ajak made a quick inspection on your foot scowling down at the wound before standing up and moving down the hall.

“I’m not sure, I just…”

The silence that followed was a heavy one, your eyes flickered up and you found those of Sprite who was frowning in anger. They didn’t need to ask anything else, on your face and words it was evident what you were thinking about.

Ajak was back with the aid kit kneeling down again, “Sprite, get everything ready, Gil you know where to find the chairs and everything else, let’s set up the dining table for the lunch.”

You were left alone with Ajak, the woman worked around your wound with expertise never once using her healing abilities to help with the wound. 

“You’re thinking if you reveal yourself to her that it would influence the way she sees you.” Ajak didn’t beat around the bush glancing at you before continuing with her work. “She is not Eliza, Y/N. If you like her you have to be honest with her.”

Your heart fluttered at these words, the name of your previous lover piercing painfully still. You clenched your fists at this, furrowing your brows while looking away.

“I know she isn’t.” You whispered. “She is a friend; she is here because she is mourning the love of her life. She doesn’t need my drama into the mix, she just…”

Ajak examined your foot with critical eye before putting some ibuprofen from a bottle.

“She is working with dark magic, you know that. We can feel something is wrong over there.” Ajak patted your knee offering a motherly smile at you. “But I could also see the calming effect you had on her and the way she has change your smile. I haven’t seen those dimples or those eyes gleaming so much in a long time.”

You felt the flush on your face, looking away you shrugged.

“We’re just friends.” You repeated, and it is the same mantra you had been repeating yourself ever since the visit to the town, and the day she came in to help you with the wound and the rest of the days you had spent with her.

“Well, then…go and invite her over, she needs to get out of that house.” It was an order more than a request, and you knew Ajak meant more with that simple gesture that you care to admit.

There was a moment of hesitation on your part, then you merely nodded standing up on your feet. You cocked your head to the side, your eyes glancing down the hall where you knew was the room you had given to Thena once. Ajak placed her hand on your forearm shaking her head with an amused smile in place.

“Stop stalling.”

You chuckled lowering your gaze before nodding curtly, “Yes, ma’am.”

______________________________________________________________

You never expected the door would be opened.

In the last couple of weeks whatever Wanda had been working on seemed to be put to rest. Or at least, she was not using the magic and the book as often as she did once; you could feel it in the way she felt, and how she looked. That was the reason why you were so surprised that day, it was the same feeling you got on those first days of Wanda being there.

Your brows knitted together when you entered the house, everything was darker than it should be in the middle of the day. You waited for a moment knocking on the door with your knuckles, you did it once, twice, thrice…there was no answer, so you took that chance to enter the place.

“Wanda?” Your voice echoed through the empty living room and kitchen, you leaned in with some hesitation in your movements. You weren’t comfortable by overstepping your boundaries while entering the place.

You didn’t want Wanda to get mad at you for this, but there was something about the whole situation that made you stepped further inside the house.

You knocked again, harder this time around calling out to her. 

"Hey, Principessa, are you here?" Your hand tightened around the doorknob, your arms heating up when you finally sense it. 

Without any more hesitation, you stepped inside the house. The cold was back, and there was a sense of alarm around you, the hairs of your arms and neck stood up at attention. You stepped further inside glancing around until the door closed with a bang. 

You didn't even flinch, though your eyes changed in an instant gleaming gold spotting the runes above your head. They were read, a different symbol dancing around the ceiling making the whole room flickered in and out of different images, colours and places.

Witchcraft

There was an eerie silence around you, something heavy in the air as you stepped further inside the house. Your body tensing completely, you weren't afraid, at least not for yourself, everything around you flickered in and out of reality. How long had she been working on this? Probably since day one. 

"Do you always enter your guest house without their permission?" The voice held a heavy accent, she modulated every word and the husky tone behind her voice sent shivers down your back. 

"Only the attractive ones," your answer came lightly, almost teasingly. Your tongue almost caught on your throat when your eyes fell on the woman behind you. "Wanda?" 

The young woman smiled, but the curved of her lips and the show of white teeth was not convincing enough since her eyes had a red-light dancing around them. She was wearing a full fledge suit red and tight with a crown adorning her face and head. Her strawberry hair was looking wild and wavy making her look unhinged but in control of the situation. This was the woman you had seen in the news, of pictures of another Avenger adventure. 

Still, she was looking different. 

The smile in her face grew, and she stepped closer. You remained impassive, cocking your head to the side. 

"In a manner of speaking, yes." She commented lightly reaching out to you, the room became hot all of a sudden while you held her stare. "Your eyes… why are they gold?" 

You clenched your jaw looking away, the hand of the other woman placed tenderly but demanding under your chin trying to turn your face to hers. Your hand caught hers, and you returned your eyes to her out of necessity more than anything else. 

"You're not Wanda, where is she?" Your words seemed to upset her; she pressed her lips together stepping back. The world around you flickered and you got glimpses of another place. Another house. 

Another life. 

"I am her, always have been." The Scarlet Witch spoke with a hint of anger and sorrow in her voice, she turned sharp eyes to you daring you to contradict her. 

You stood there for a minute, your thoughts a myriad of emotions and images you wished you could tune down a bit. The woman in front of you smirked, leaning in until she was a few centimetres away from your face. 

"You like me." She purred, resting her hands on your shoulders. "You like the way I look… I can be yours; you know?" 

You shivered trying to step back while a part of you wished you could just put her closer to you. You swallowed down your arousal, your attraction to the woman and you really wished you had come with someone instead of venturing around alone. 

"I can hear your thoughts, detka… you know? She likes you too, but… we're so close to get our lives back." The other woman whispered. "Perhaps we can have both, love with Vision and a pet to play with you." 

"You assume too much, Scarlet." the name rolled out of your lips teasingly, your hand on her hair putting her head back. "I'm nobody's pet, and I would like very much to speak with the real Wanda right now."

The Scarlet Witch was left there breathing hard, eyes dark following your form deep inside the house until you reached the master bedroom. Your heart was beating hard. you never imagined this was going to be something you would find here. 

Wanda seemed to be deeply asleep, her posture was tense and she had on a frown on her face. You tensed looking out of the corner of your eyes to the other woman standing by the door. 

"Are you sure you want her back?" The question was a mixture of uncertainty and anger. 

"I am pretty sure; she is the one I want back." You said without meaning to reveal so much. Your hand brushed lightly on her cheek then move to her shoulder shaking her lightly. 

"Wanda? Hey, Principessa it's almost midday are you seriously going to sleep in." You shook her lightly, your voice as tender as it could be. "Come on Wanda, wake up."

You sighed once more your eyes gleaming gold the tattoos on your arms ignited just as a flash of magic went through your fingertips into the young woman resting on the bed. Wanda woke startled her hand went up in a rough movement hitting you square in the face. 

"Fuck!" You fall on your ass holding your nose with your hands, tears in your eyes at the sensation of pain 

You lifted your stare and for a brief moment you saw the flash of red in those green eyes, the ghost of a smile in those lips that soon transformed in a gesture of embarrassment and concern. 

"Oh god, Y/N! What were you thinking?" Wanda stood up rather fast kneeling beside you, you mocked glare at her. 

"I was waking you up! What were you thinking?" You let her warm hands wrapped tenderly around your wrists putting them away from your face. 

"I was asleep and someone startled me awake." Wanda winced apologetically, trying to offer a comforting smile. "I think I broke your nose."

"What a punch you have there, Principessa, remind me to never do this again." You groaned standing up and letting Wanda guide you to the bathroom. 

"Why are you here anyway? Do you always enter your guest house without their permission?" You lifted your face to take a look at her, but Wanda was more worried about getting water and some towels to clean up your face and make sure the damage was not that deep or permanent 

The tension in her eyes and the pursed on her lips told you she really was concentrated on you. There was not a single flickered of recognition or hidden intentions there. If that was the case it meant the Scarlet Witch was a part of Wanda she only revealed when dream walking in her own reality. 

"Well, Ithink I just got lucky, no permanent damage to you."

"No damage to my beautiful face then?" You wiggled your eyebrows at her, Wanda chuckled looking away. 

"Yes, no damage to your face."

"Beautiful face."

Wanda hesitated glancing at the floor "Your beautiful face."

You smiled in triumph standing up, Wanda finally turned to you bouncing on her feet. 

"So, why are you here?" 

"Oh right!" You pointed with your head the direction of your own home flashing a hesitant smile. "Well, Ajak and Sprite are here, Thena and Gil too and we were preparing lunch… I thought…"

Wanda wrapped her arms around herself shaking her head, "No, I don't think it would be a good idea. I mean, it seems a family thing and you were highly entertained by Thena so…" 

You winced making a face, scratching the back of your neck you stepped forward locking your eyes to green ones. You were not leaving this house without putting up a fight for Wanda. 

"I want you to come, I really want you to meet them and… you know? In honour of our friendship, I would like you to meet them."

"That's not fair." Wanda whispered glaring at your cheeky smile, you placed a hand on her forearm softening your features. 

"I won't force you, Wanda. But I… I was hoping you could come." You squeezed her arm tenderly, "We will be there if you decided to come."

Before you could exit the bathroom her hand closed around your wrist. You turned around she was looking everywhere but at you. 

"Let me put some shoes on." 

______________________________________________________________

"First time watching a storm?" Ajak stood right beside Wanda, the world outside the protective walls of the house was slashing violently with wind and water twirling around in an uncontrolled blur of grey and white. 

The sound of the wind blowing right outside was disturbing at some point, the image of the ocean becoming a deathly trap was something Wanda had never experienced, at some point she actually felt identified with the weather. 

"Yes, actually I have never seen anything like this." Her tone was reverent, almost fearful but the easy smile on Ajak brought a calmness she could not describe. 

"From time to time, it is good to remember we are just creatures in a vast world." 

The sound coming from the dining table brought her attention to where you were sitting with Sprite and Gil playing cards, Thena was observing the game unimpressed though her eyes would from time to time focus on you. Wanda furrowed her brows turning once more to the window; ever since she got there Thena had done nothing more than tried to get your attention on her. Her hands always finding an excuse to touch you freely, to catch your attention easily to bring back that smile Wanda had come to treasure.

The only reassuring thought Wanda held onto was the fact your dimples only showed whenever she was smiling at you.

"I'm glad you decided to accompany us, it has been a while since we last saw Thena and Gil and having new people in this gathering is always refreshing." Ajak followed the eyes of the red-head before they settled back on the window, she smiled knowingly shaking her head at Thena’s antics and your obliviousness.

"I’m glad you guys invite me." Wanda answered all honestly, and she really was. 

You had made sure Wanda felt welcome and included it in the gathering, you introduced Gil as an uncle though Wanda suspected your relationship with his was completely different. The man had welcome Wanda with a tight grip and a smile, his words always boisterous and pressing with great adventures and jokes at the tip of his tongue.  

Then, there was Thena.

The woman had been courteous, her eyes checking Wanda out with a critical glint in her eyes. The blonde-haired woman had then offered a daring smirk before making sure to be all around you daring Wanda to do something. It was unnerving for Wanda to see the woman had a knowing glint in her eyes whenever she caught Wanda staring at her and you. Wanda felt her blood boil, and she clenched her fists wanting nothing more than to claim your attention for herself, to get the same casual touches and brushes of skin.

You had been completely oblivious to this interaction between Wanda and Thena, though Sprite and Ajak had been quite aware of this.

By the time lunch was ready, the rain had started falling.

Wanda found herself in the midst of family time, you explained to Wanda the relationship the group had with one another while they narrated the stories of past dinners or gatherings. It was such a homely time, watching as they spoke of their lives and experiences while telling Wanda embarrassing stories about you or the rest of the group was something Wanda was treasuring.

Another moment in a normal life you were sharing with her.

The sound of thunder broke Wanda’s attention, she heard laughter and soon the voice of Gil raised above the sound of the wind.

"Sprite!! You are cheating!" Gil exclaimed pointing an accusing finger to the young woman, Sprite held back her smirk blinking playfully to the older man. 

"I'm not."

"I think you are because I have two of those As on my hand!" 

You opened your eyes in panic, which struck Wanda as strange. You sent a glare to Sprite who merely rolled her eyes. 

"This game is not as fun without me winning."

Before Gil could open his mouth and point out she always won because she used her abilities to do so Thena spoke and her question brought a tension you wished you could break. 

"You are an Avenger." It was a statement; the blond-haired woman tilted her head eyes twinkling while her lips draw the ghost of a smile. 

Wanda felt her body stiffened at the question; she held the other woman's stare. 

"I am, yes."

Thena nodded grabbing the glass of water, twirling around the liquid she continued. 

"You are also a witch." Once again it was a statement, you scowled at this your hand placing firmly on the table. 

"Thena…" Your tone was a warning, Thena flickered her gaze form Wanda to you then she returned her attention to the other woman. 

Wanda shifted uncomfortably; she had never thought of herself as a witch. It wasn't until Westview that she was confronted by this revelation. The power inside her stirred, and the Scarlet Witch in her pressed inside her mind asking to be let out. But Wanda held back, her mind reading abilities failing her when she realized the thoughts around the room were nothing more that images she could not identify completely. The only though she could grasp was yours, and her heart skipped a beat when she realized it was Wanda the only thing in your mind. 

"I wouldn't call myself a witch, though someone already mention this before." Wanda replied flatly, Thena quirked brow nodding. 

"Then, what would you call yourself?" 

"What kind of question is that?" You intervened, your eyes pinning Thena who offered a smile. 

"It's just a question, you don't need to be so defensive." Thena explained shrugging. "She is staying here with you, I think it is only right we know you're going to be safe and nothing would come to harm you for having an Avenger so close by."

Your blood ran cold at these words, you knew this had nothing to do with the line of questioning coming from Thena. Sprites opened her eyes wide she turned to Gil who shrugged shaking his head in a warning gesture. Better not get in the way. 

Wanda didn't think about this before, it was true that her life as an Avenger was dangerous and that on more than once occasion it had been an issue for those innocent stander-by, but she had come here to rest. No one knew she was here; her green eyes went to you and she remembered the wound on your foot and the conversations you had shared. 

Everything had been so normal, so domestic… Wanda had forgotten she was dangerous, that she was trying to accomplish something that might as well dragged you in a trip against your will. 

But I came here to work on that! On making sure next time it is only Vision and me and the family we might create. 

We didn’t came here to harm her, we could never harm her…

"It is not my intention to create any trouble or bring danger to anyone." Wanda assured each one of her words, holding the stare from the other woman. "No one knows I am here. I don't think there should be a name for what I am, I'm only… trying to do what is right."

"I would call her a hero." You said all of a sudden. "A warrior, and a mighty one at that! Using magic and trying to do what is right is not an easy feat, Thena."

Thena nodded leaning back against the chair, though her smile turned colder and her eyes sharp with anger and jealousy. 

"Magic users are easily corrupted, Y/N… dark fingertips and a chilling presence should be your first warning, I thought you knew that."

"Thena!" Ajak scolded the blond-haired woman using a language Wanda was not familiar with, but that was not of importance.

The damage was done, Wanda felt numb at those words just as her mind and the reflection behind her revealed the very same image Thena was painting. Inked fingertips, the chilling presence…Wanda furrowed her brow shaking her head, it didn’t matter how Thena knew about that, what her words really meant; what was important was that….she was using dark magic, was she being corrupted?

Just like Agatha?

"I think I better go." She whispered lowering her gaze while walking down the kitchen to the entrance of the house.

"No, Wanda, wait…" You stood up following the young woman. 

Thena followed you with her eyes, Ajak calling back to her scowling while Gil and Sprite glanced at one another once more.

The wind was rather strong slamming the door open and almost making Wanda faltered in her steps. You caught her firmly, your arms around her midsection holding her tight. Wanda tensed under your hold, she was afraid to turn around and find herself right in front of you, too close that was probably advisable. 

"Don't go, please." Your voice in her ear sent shivers down her back, she clenched her eyes close holding back any other reaction. "Thena is just…" 

"Jealous. She is jealous and you probably should tell her we are just friends." Wanda said stepping back while turning around 

You winced scratching the back of your neck. 

"I don't understand why she would be jealous.” you never noticed the flash of hurt crossing Wanda's eyes as you continued. "I mean this is foolish, this is my home and I want you to stay. Besides it is raining hard and the winds are pretty strong, you could hurt yourself trying to go back to the house…"

Wanda looked away from you but leaned into your touch when your hand placed itself on her arm. 

“Come back, I'm pretty sure after Ajak's scolding Thena will behave." You tried to offer a smile but it was hesitant, Wanda felt the sharp edge of the wind and the raging storm right beside her. 

“I don’t think that would be wise.” Wanda continued shivering under the coldness of the wind and the water.

You nodded curtly, “then let me take you home.”

“Not with this weather!”

“You’re going with this weather!” You replied pointing the weather, “really, Principessa, I just…”

You couldn’t say anything else, but there was no need of this. Wanda could read it easily on your face and thoughts, her heart shrank with emotion just as she nodded biting her lower lip.

“It is raining hard, and I…I don’t think it would be bad if I stay.” Her heart skipped a beat at the sight or your thousand-watt grin and those dimples she had come to lo…like. To like.

I love them. Wanda almost winced mortified at the thought that sneak inside her mind.

“Thank you, then if you’re staying you can use my room to get a change of clothes and sleep there.” You tilted your head walking backwards, all excited at the idea. “I can sleep on the sofa…”

"Why would you sleep on the sofa if you can sleep with me?" Wanda replied before she could stop herself. The young witch felt her cheeks warm up at her words, you opened your eyes big glancing down at her. 

"What?" 

"I-I mean…” She stammered gesturing with her hands trying to fix her comment. "Your bed is big… it fits two people and you can.. I wouldn’t want to impose and well…I can use the sofa." 

"Don't worry, Principessa, we can share the bed if you want. I knew you couldn't resist my charm.”

She pushed you playfully, moving past you to hide the flush on her face. You went right with her chuckling the hole time. 

By the time both of you were back, Thena had left. 

"Wanda, I want to apologise…" Ajak started but Wanda shook her head. 

"No, please I understand I…" Wanda trailed off taking a deep breath, her eyes found yours and for a brief moment she found the courage she was looking for. "I understand completely, wherever we go it's as if something usually happens, a disaster waiting to happen, but I assure you this trip was done in secrecy and no one but my closest friends know I'm here."

You stood by the kitchen crossing stares with Gil, the older man shook his head with a single frown you understood completely. You would need to speak with Thena. 

“I think…it is raining hard,” Wanda said sheepishly showing the wet clothes, you shook your head nodding.

“Of course, let me show you what you can use, you already know where my room is.”

“She does?” Sprite chuckled when you and Wanda flushed.

“Of course, she took me there when I hurt my foot, Sprite.” You made sure the young woman could hear the warning tone on your voice; you then turned to Wanda offering a half smile. “Go on, you know where to find some clothes, feel free to use whatever you want.”

Wanda bit her lower lip for a moment, she lifted her eyes to you before stepping back.

“Yes, of course, thank you.”

You watched her go and it wasn’t until something hit your face that you realized you had been staring for far too long.

“So, you and the little witch?” Gil said taking a long sip from the beer. “Humph, I approved it.”

You rolled your eyes crossing your arms, “It’s nothing like that, really, you guys should stop that.”

“Come on, it is so obvious that you two like each other it is getting rather ridiculous to keep denying it.” Sprite retorted narrowing her eyes at you. “Why do you keep denying it?”

You shrugged turning around to go to the stove, “I’m making chocolate, someone want one?”

Ajak observed as you evaded the topic while distracting both Gil and Sprite. The woman however agreed with Sprite, you were obviously hooked by Wanda; something had change in you since the other woman show up and you decided to include her in your routine. In your life.

She just hoped you wouldn’t let this chance escaped you only because you were still being hunted by your past.

The moment you entered your room you were welcome by the sight of lightning igniting the sky. Moments later, the world around you trembled under the sound of thunder. You closed the door behind you balancing the two mugs filled with hot chocolate, your eyes soon found Wanda sitting near the window.

She looked pensive, sitting down on a pillow wearing a pair of white pants and one of your t-shirts. Her hair was still wet, and she was hugging her legs closer to her chest; her head tilted to one side watching you moving closer her heart fluttering at the sight of your eyes concentrated in getting the mugs completed without spilling a single drop of chocolate.

“I told you this sight was even better at night.” You commented lifting your eyes to meet hers, you knelt down placing the two mugs on the floor.

“Yes, you did.” Wanda offered a single smile, her hand hesitating before taking the mug. “Chocolate?”

“Your favourite.” You sat down right beside her, you contemplated the rain and the storm happening right in front of your window.

There was no need for words, at least not for now.

The sound of water hitting the glass, and the wind blowing right outside on the cliff was enough to cut the uneasiness of silence. Soon enough, you stopped contemplating the rain and you paid attention to the woman sitting right beside you. Her hands wrapped tightly around the mug, and she had her own eyes focused on the warm liquid in front of her.

“You were not lying when you said this was the best spot in the whole house.” She finally said, you nodded with a sigh leaving your lips.

"Beautiful." You mumbled without helping yourself, Wanda straightened up lifting her face to see out of the window. She never noticed your eyes on her, nor was she completely aware you were talking about her.

“I never thought a storm would look anything like this,” Wanda drank from her chocolate with a smile playing on her lips. The sound of the rain filling up her senses bringing to her a calmness she was starting to associate with you, “it really it’s beautiful, soothing even.”

You broke into a smile turning your eyes to the window, “it is beautiful, dangerous, but so…overwhelmingly beautiful.”

Your voice lowered slightly, there was a hint of wistfulness there something that made Wanda tensed slightly. She was looking out of the window, but much like you had done a couple of minutes ago she saw your reflection there.

She found herself spellbound to your reflection, her heart shrank at your smile and your eyes the softening of your features. Wanda lowered her gaze the voice inside her head was turning out to be quite familiar to her, it spoke of her real desires and the confusion that had settled in her heart for quite some time. What about Vision? 

She loved him. She still did, didn't she? 

Do we? 

The Scarlet Witch whispered and her reflection had her eyes on you. 

Are we building a world for him to escape her? 

What happened to our grief? To the sorrow in our hearts? 

"There is a small beach," you interrupted her thoughts all of a sudden, the redhead noticed the blackened fingertips for a moment furrowing her brows as she half heard you, half remembered what Thena had said. 

"It is quite beautiful and during this time of the year tends to be filled with teens and people that want to spend a nice time swimming and doing other activities." You chuckled holding onto a memory of a long time ago. "We could… I mean, I could take you there if want to. After the storm recedes though it is also a sight to behold to be close to the sea when it is like this."

Wanda wanted to ask why you would do it, why were you being so special with her when you didn't have to. Sure, you had said to her a couple of days ago that you wanted to be friends but…

Vision is safer, predictable… he wouldn't hurt us. There is not a chance of him hurting us if we… 

A hand placed itself on hers, the warm it brought filled Wanda completely. She flickered her eyes up until she found herself looking into your eyes. Your thoughts were as clear as water, it reflected what you were speaking of. A beach and sun, laughter, and playfulness and in the midst of it all the great ocean.

You squeezed Wanda's hand, your fingertips trying to sooth the black ink in hers. 

"Why do you keep punishing yourself for things you cannot change?" You asked leaning in, your eyebrows knitting together when you realized you were revealing more than you should. "Is it worthy to give your soul? Worthy to lose yourself?" 

"What would you know about pain and grief?" Wanda tried to be harsh in her questioning, but she held herself and she realized for the very first time whatever she had awakened in Westview, the alter ego that had been working around the clock to build the alternative world was right there with her being one expectant of your answer 

"I know more than you know, Wanda." You shot a quick look at those fingers, then sighed looking away. "I have seen it before." 

"What would you or even Thena know about this?"  And Wanda asked in a trembling voice the answer she had been afraid to face. 

There was a long silence after that question, the lightning and thunder breaking into the sky. You held yourself for a moment never letting go of Wanda's hand.  It was the moment you could confessed to her, tell her who you were what you could do. 

But there was fear in your heart. 

If you gave yourself, who was to say you wouldn't get hurt again? She was a powerful witch, a chosen one, and her heart was already promised to another. She had come all the way to the end of the world to work on her plans. This was the reason she was here; she was no looking to be healed but to not be interrupted.

She didn't love you, and she never will. The friendship was the only thing you would get out of her, and confessing your real self would leave you open once more to someone that might manipulate you and used you for her own gain 

Wanda couldn’t read much, but she did feel the fear, the uncertainty.. The broken heart. She stirred in sympathy and something else, something she couldn't identify completely and soon she found herself pushed forward leaning in until she realized how close the both of you were. It was then she noticed there was a glint of gold in your eyes, that even though it was a cold and humid night, with you she felt fresh and warm. Wanda swallowed down when her eyes flickered to your lips and.. 

Lean in… 

And she did. 

You stiffened but did the same, should you do it? 

The door of you room banged open and Sprite came right in wearing a strange expression on her face. 

"Sersi is calling, she says she needs to speak with you urgently,” Sprite stopped cocking her head with eyes narrow in suspicion. "Are you guys okay? Did I interrupt something?" 

You and Wanda had jumped startle moving almost a meter away from one another. Wanda was looking out of the window, and you had your eyes on Sprite with a hint of panic in them. Your heart was hammering against your ribcage fast and hard almost threatening to leave your chest. 

"No, no I…" you stood up hesitating for a moment, you turned to Wanda but she was bent on ignoring you by looking outside the window. 

You nodded bitterly, your smile reflecting what you were really feeling Sprite furrowed her brows ready to speak until you shook your head. 

"Nothing, you didn't interrupt anything, Sprite. Let's go I was waiting for her call." 

You gave Wanda one last glance before leaving the room. 

Wanda put a hand on her face, she was trying to get a hold of her own breathing, of her beating hard. What she was about to do… God's, what was happening to her. 

She felt tears in her eyes, guiltiness crawling up her chest to her mind, and everything she had felt for Vision, everything she had lived with him was back. The promises the both of them made, the chances they took…

But was it real? Isn't this why we are building a world of our own? 

"I thought you want to be with him." Wanda pressed her lips together. "That we wanted to be with him, that was the reason behind Westview, behind this new world."

Wanda saw her standing right behind her, so much like her yet so different. The Scarlet Witch tilted her head, red eyes shone with confusion

I don't know anymore. 

Wanda nodded in understanding. She didn't know either. 

#WandaxReader #Wanda/Reader #Wanda MaximoffxFemale Reader #Wanda Maximof x F!Reader #Wanda Maximoff #Female Reader #MCU AU #Wanda Maximoff AU #Scarelt WitchxFemale! Reader #imagine wanda maximoff #Wanda maximoff x Reader

[kafus]

i used to think that there was no way i could have did because the only versions of it that i ever saw getting talked about were the horror movie's "there's normal me and then there's EVIL me" version and the 13 year old's "i get to be the most valid kinnie even though i have no trauma and no other side effects" version, but after reading your posts about did i've been really questioning whether i may have a disorder similar to it. i've had so many symptoms that i explained away as just "bad memory" or "different sides of me" but it's gotten to the point where it's significantly impacting my life; hours or entire days will just go missing and i have to re-read my old messages to find out what i was doing before. i want to do more research into it but it's extremely hard to find good resources online, and proper medical papers are very difficult for me to parse no matter how many times i re-read them. do you know any good places to learn?

god yeah i've been there. it took a lot of encouragement from my GF at the time years ago to seek out medical help and get a DID diagnosis, after like years of denying it because i thought my trauma "wasn't severe enough" and thought that if i had DID i should be having that stereotypical horror movie presentation of the disorder. obviously i do not think this way anymore lol

i'm assuming from the way you've worded this message that seeking help from a medical professional isn't an option for you, though if it is, seeing a trauma or dissociation specialist would be my first recommendation for sure. on the other hand... Hmmm

if you really struggle with medical language/professional papers on the subject that knocks out a lot of the resources i DO like, and some of the more common ones like did-research.org are... flawed to say the least asfkfsdl (though still an OK baseline, if you're really starting from knowing nothing it's not a terrible resource, just be critical)

even though it isn't all about DID specifically, you may benefit from "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk. it's been a long time since i've read it but from what i remember it's a very good book about trauma and isn't overwhelmingly medical or hard to read. at the end of the day, whether or not you have DID specifically is less important than recognizing the concerning and difficult amnesia/trauma symptoms you're experiencing and trying to care for yourself, so i think a general trauma book like that could still be of use. (i probably shouldn't link it here but there are pretty easy ways to find this book online)

i'm pretty picky about resources so i'm trying to think of what else. here's a few other things i like sharing with people:

DID Myths and Misconceptions from Beauty After Bruises for dispelling a lot of common. well. myths and misconceptions lol. while mostly targeted towards onlookers and not people questioning it's still good to remember as someone questioning DID that you don't have to live up to these myths to be real

the Many Voices newsletter is a newsletter that ran from 1989-2012 for people with DID (or MPD as it was called when the newsletter began lmao). you can click the Newsletter button on the left to access all the entries. they're full of reader-submitted content and also discussion from medical professionals - even though some of it is outdated, it's a window into lived experience from people with DID before Social Media or even really the Internet and i personally find it incredibly validating + just interesting tbh

My experience of living with dissociative identity disorder: denial by Carolyn Spring is a good read for if you're suffering from denial yourself tbh.

anyway this is getting pretty long but i hope at least something here was useful HSDJFKSDF i'll leave off saying that regardless of what you have (i don't know you and it would be irresponsible to armchair diagnose you or something) that does sound Pretty Damn Concerning and if i were someone that knew you IRL i'd be concerned and trying to get you in to see someone about dissociative amnesia so i think your concerns are warranted and ur not crazy or something. Also wishing you well and things are going to be okay i promise <3

#kiki was here #asks #anonymous

[three--rings]

While writing today I was thinking...so I was writing something kinky, something that I find personally quite hot and that fit with the characters and scenario.  But I hesitated because...well I imagined people objecting to it on the grounds that it would be a Bad Idea to do In Real Life. 

And specifically, it reminds me of specific criticism I’ve heard leveled at the 50 Shades books.   And like, first of all I’m not here to defends 50 Shades, for one thing it would be really hard to do since I’ve never read them or seen any of the movies.  But also I’ve always thought some of the criticism they receive is unnecessarily harsh.  (Not all of it.  Just some.)

Because to me, a lot of people seem to really be unable to approach a work of fiction, and IN PARTICULAR a work about sex without pretending it is 100% Real.  And they direct their criticism accordingly: can you imagine doing this in real life, omg you would be arrested omg perverts omg sex crime omg dirtybadwrong.  

And like people never seem to stop and consider that...fiction is fantasy.  A safe exploration of ideas that are either unfeasible or impractical to enact in the real world.  I don’t care if your fantasy is being a pirate on the high seas or getting railed behind a supermarket, they are both impractical and full of moral, ethical and legal problems. 

But people act like, yanno exploring one of these things in fantasy is fine and the other is a sign that you’re a Secret Degenerate.  That you Don’t Understand That This Would Be Wrong. 

But like, I was brought face to face with this today, writing something that I’m very aware is at the least Extremely Morally Dubious in a real world context.  But writing it anyway because it’s hot to me and what the fuck is smutty fanfic for if NOT exploring these things safely.

And I just feel like so much of Media Criticism these days, especially of the tiktok/youtube variety, though I enjoy snarking at shitty things as much as the next person, but so much of it is pearl-clutching about fiction being unrealistic.  That if this Fictional Scenario Was Real it would be bad and unhealthy and dangerous and like, it’s always about the romance tho, isn’t it.  It’s rarely about how actually you’d get gangrene from that wound without antibiotics or whatever. 

And I’m really tired of this idea that Fiction for Women is bad because the audience is Too Stupid to tell the difference between fiction and reality.   And sometimes it’s about YA, and the argument is they’re too young.  Okay, fine.  But like, again, are you focusing on the bad advice about surviving in a wilderness or or you focusing on the unrealistic romances?

So yeah, I don’t know.  I think it’s important to acknowledge that fiction sometimes appeals exactly for the fact that it doesn’t follow the same rules as the real world.  That people can have something in fiction they wouldn’t want in the real world.  That, in fact, fiction is the appropriate place for that to happen. 

I don’t know, this isn’t coherent.  But I’m so tired of this argument that I see about oh people are too stupid to tell the difference between Art and Escapism and it’s all the fault of fanfiction and Dumb Media and like I think actually most people can tell the difference between indulgent media and stuff that’s supposed to be gritty realism but it’s armchair critics who equate everything to the same level of Depiction is Endorsement.  And unfortunately this has been the dominate form of internet media criticism for long enough that it’s all an entire generation has been exposed to. 

And as someone who writes indulgent smut on the regular and also has a degree in literature and psychology, like actually I’m not at all confused about the line between fiction and reality thanks. 

#idek #purity culture #writing #if you're curious specifically this was about kink in public #something that imo crosses the long into Not Actually Okay in real life #but also I'm not super worried cause no one is reading vegaspete fics unless they are way on board the Fun in Fiction but Not RL train #like I'm kinky in RL #I've Done Some Shit okay #but yanno #ANYWAY #then I saw a post that like set this off #and specifically about 50 shades like #some criticism is hella valid and some is like eww kink I think is gross

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I’m genuinely shocked that Emma Stone won for Best Actress.

For political diversity reasons and the fact that she won Best Actor for drama at the Golden Globes – the best pointer for Oscar glory – I thought Lily Gladstone had this sewn up.

All other winners were as predicted and for the reasons I posted afew weeks ago. 

************

I was 70/30 on Emma/Lily winning. I wanted Lily to win but I was sure Emma was going to take it. Weird and quirky will usually win out.

I didn’t think Emma deserved Best Actress for La La Land. (2015 was poor year for film for me because most of those films weren’t very remarkable. Or memorable.) But Best Actress for Poor Things is very well deserved so I’m happy for her. Pretty sure she didn’t expect it, though. Emma looked truly shocked to win, so I think she was expecting Lily to take it.

My Monday armchair quarterback opinion is that I think it was the marketing campaign that did Lily in. Flowers of the Killer Moon had been promoted as Leo and De Niro’s movie, with Lily as a supporting actress/character - which, if you look at the story in the film and the perspective of the story, makes sense. This was a Leo/Bob vehicle and a story of the white man, and they really lucked out with the spectacular casting of Lily for Mollie. If all of that had been reversed - if the story was told predominantly in Mollie’s perspective as a Lily vehicle, she would’ve walked away with the Oscar last night. 

But they didn’t start promoting or marketing or “for your consideration”-ing Lily until after all the reviews came in and everyone was already talking about Lily’s performance. And it’s also because of the strikes - Killers couldn’t be promoted because of the ongoing strikes, so of course the studio is going to lean more heavily on Leo and De Niro, because people know them. They’re bankable. 

The other thing to keep in mind (this isn’t to you, anon, but to others who may be reading) is how the Academy votes. The specific guilds individually vote on who the Oscar nominees are - actors decide the acting nominees, sound decides the sound nominees, editors decide editing nominees, etc. (the best picture/documentary/animated/shorts categories are different) - but the entire Academy at large votes on who wins. So the whole Academy is voting for Best Actress, the whole Academy is voting for Best Sound Design, etc. And usually when the whole Academy votes, weird and quirky usually wins.

It’s why I suspect the Screen Actors Guild awards are the most meaningful for the actors - because it’s peer-to-peer recognition. Golden Globes is who schmoozes the best (or it used to be, before the cultural reckoning it had a few years ago) and the Academy is often who arts the best (or who’s toiled the longest and needs career validation the best). But the Screen Actors Guild, and all the guild awards, is who’s the best at our craft. So I hope Lily isn’t too upset - she got that peer-to-peer recognition - and I hope she gets more roles. It looks like it; she has a new streaming series coming soon and it looks phenomenal.

Well, if you made it this far, a few more observations from Oscar Night:

I loved Ryan Gosling and the Kens. I love it when the Oscars get cheesy and nostalgic like that.

The John Cena bit was awkward.

Loved seeing previous winners come back to recognize the nominees but the Academy spoiled themselves. I knew how the acting categories were going to be presented beforehand and I knew they were keeping the tributes a secret for the broadcast, but seeing people on the red carpet and in the audience that we don’t usually see at these events (Nicholas Cage, Ben Kingsley, and Charlize Theron for example and for me, specifically) gave the plot away.

I know it’s tired and overdone, but I love the Jimmy Kimmel/Matt Damon fight. I wish they’d have done something in the broadcast. I honestly thought the critic Jimmy was reading at the end was going to be the Matt Damon bit and for the writing categories, I thought they were going to announce Matt and Ben Affleck as the presenters (since they won their first Oscars for writing Good Will Hunting)...ah, oh well.

The red carpet was absolutely lackluster and very disappointing.

Meghan didn’t show up as Misan’s plus one and Misan didn’t win his category. I mean, the guy was up against Wes Anderson. It’s a no-brainer.

The dancing during the In Memorium segment was...A Choice.

I loved the 7pm start time. More, please!, shouted everyone on the East Coast.

I really can’t wait to see what Oscar bait movie Bradley Cooper does next, and what movie he does that the Academy finally decides “let’s put him out of his misery.” Will it be for a film worthy of the recognition or will it be a lifetime achievement award for a meh performance/film? 

I’ve got my bets on lifetime achievement.

#submission

[butchysterics]

i get it i get it but imo this framing soooo Ain’t It LMAO

i guess ppl forget when they’re doing ~too much~ armchair critical analysis that media is actually not neutral—that it’s unusual and kind of radical to engage with media critically, unpacking the ideas and power dynamics of its creation/creators/context. ‘Media’ is often produced from within a deeply hegemonic cultural environment. there’s ample reason to expect a kind of defensiveness—when you hear a movie is touching on a particular subject, it makes sense to be suspicious of its intentions and representations going in when the subject matter is frequently butchered. like in what world are the two options “apply unhealthy suspicion to everything you consume” (super flat and uncharitable reading of ppl Being Critical imo) or “maybe every piece of media has a secret shred of Good inside of it that i just have to excavate :)” ??

[crytidsprinkles]

I was unaware Aquaman 2 was releasing last month. I found out or probably was reminded because I forgot by my mom mentioning it to be (she enjoyed the first and LOVES Jason Momoa).

The bizarre behavior towards Amber Heard and Depp frankly continues to permeate public discussion, conscience and culture. To the point there are still people bemoaning, shredding and ridiculing her. And frankly it's quite tired.

Cases of abuse requires understanding and education, not knee jerk reactions, parasocial clamoring and armchair commentaries (including body language experts to pseudo pop psychologists).

This isn't Crime and Punishment, holding people accountable for abuse in the way people are currently going about it would mean Depp and Heard getting the same treatment, they aren't.

This acknowledged, I would love to have a chance to view the film with Meera having a much more active role. I've already heard much of Amber's screentime has been cut and it does impact the film. I was so excited for the fight scenes and based on the hinting at other versions being shot, I think one with Meera's role and arc not being minimized is the stronger movie.

And at minimum if not in theaters, give people the alternate cuts on dvd/blu ray. Let there be a choice. The situation shouldn't mean the project suffers or is taken out on Heard (especially when it's not being taken out on Johnny).

Whoever was involved with the decision to whittle Heard's role down only made matters even more magnified and a focal point, when it could have been handled much better, with care and sensitivity. The lack of support or understanding at least also speaks poorly of the studio and any team members this applies to.

Especially given so many other instances in entertainment of people openly committing, accused of and even charged with abuse who Hollywood has no problem continuing to work with. It's quite hypocritical, and simplistic.

The trial happened, some of us witnessed it, some made skits, commentary and some steered clear. I chose not to watch the trial while it was happening or a majority of the posts/videos people created. I found nothing about it amusing and thought people choosing "teams" and going so far as to call it that incredibly strange behavior.

I paid attention to the impact to victims/survivors and what those with expertise or careers in the field of domestic violence or any related to. I listened when people spoke of the power imbalance, PR team, prior charges in UK and much more.

Some people were and still are so invested in this team sport like, and misogynistic nonsense they'd never admit now they were deeply in the wrong and caused a lot of harm. This isn't a game or fable, there's no winners, losers, good guys, bad guys.

It's the nuance and complexity of human beings and awful situations. I'm saying any of this because I know it will come up or someone will want to open their mouth about it.

Here's some great videos to compliment my comments:

TW: Ableism (unhinged and idiots are terms used) barring this, it is an very salvageable video.

In closing I'll say it should but didn't concern everyone that so many incels, reactionaries, garden variety misogynyist of all sorts (and not just men) as well as abusers standing right alongside them while the general public dog piled.

It reveals greater issues within societies as far as talking about abuse, abuse cases, survivors and we have a long way to go.

The public needs to learn and progress, so one day our world addresses trauma, harm and violence with thoughtfulness, knowledge, RESTORATIVE JUSTICE, radical love and critical thinking.

#Aquaman 2 #Sequel #Amber Heard #Jason Momoa #DCU #DC #Youtube

[saintlaurentproblems]

there was going to be a stand alone Eros movie until... everyone saw him act. And then it went very quiet.

When people say this I genuinely laugh because they forget that Harry actually auditions for these films, so studios and directors saw his acting before any armchair movie critic did and still cast him. Also, that movie deal thing wasn't from the most reliable source.

He impressed Christopher Nolan so I feel like Harry isn’t horrible. He needs more experience.

#answered

[juniperusashei]

Homer’s Iliad translated by Emily Wilson - 3/5

I think I must have been assigned to read Homer’s Iliad on at least three separate occasions throughout my youth, and Sparknotesed it every time. Which I feel bad about, because I always did want to read it, or maybe I wanted the clout that came with being a person who reads Greek epic poetry. In any case, when Emily Wilson’s new translation was released last year, I finally went for it. I had read selections from her Odyssey and found her approach to translation very accessible and easy to read. There was a lot of media hype about “the first woman to translate Homer” which led to some reviewers claiming this was a feminist reinterpretation of The Iliad. My pet theory is that they had her confused for Maria Dahvana Headley, whose translation of Beowulf was intentionally transformative. In any case, Wilson’s Iliad is meant to be fairly traditional and accurate to the original text, including some metrical craft I could not pick up on. Compared to all the other times I tried to finish the Iliad, I found Wilson’s version a much easier read, so I would recommend it for that reason. The supplemental materials are also way more impressive than most editions and justify the extra cost over just a Project Gutenberg download. Wilson’s introduction is hefty to say the least, at around 75 pages, and was often more moving than the poem itself (She even defends the infamous third chapter, the Catalogue of Ships, imploring the reader to “read them out loud: in mouth and ear, the long list of names become music.” I find comparisons of superhero movies to mythology mostly kind of dumb, but I could see Homer’s audience going crazy each time their guy’s name is called in this chapter the same way people soyface about the Avengers or whatever.) She provides all the context for a beginner like me to understand the poem, but also includes an extensive glossary and notes for each chapter for those who want to dive deeper. The hardcover edition is around $40, so whether or not this masterful editing justifies the high price honestly depends on how much you like reading about guys getting stabbed over and over again. I just got it from the library.

The poem itself was not as impressive. A lot of armchair critics (NOT Wilson) love to claim The Iliad as an anti-war piece to make it palatable to modern audiences. This was not my impression in the slightest. Sure, the epic deals with the horrors of war, often brutally (as I said before, pages upon pages of vivid gory disembowelments) but it seems the product of a society which obsessively fetishized war. I’m not condemning the text based on this, but I do think it’s harder to understand without unpacking the very different set of values that were held back then, so it’s a lot easier to attempt to update the text in a really sloppy way. Wilson does give a really cogent explanation of these ethical differences which helped me understand the text more fully, but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. Every time the equivalent of a Star Trek redshirt got killed off, Homer would expound on his ancestry and life, and then conclude with something like

…Menelaus stabbed his forehead above his nose, right at the bridge, and broke his skull, and popped his eyeballs out.

I literally opened to a random page and found something disgusting on my first try. It’s incessant. But I can see how telling each person’s life story dignifies their death. Still, it is hard to feel any sympathy for men who did not see women as people, but as property, as goes the inciting incident of The Iliad.

#the iliad #Homer #greek #emily wilson #poetry #3 #january 2024 #2024

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Beyond Metaphor

here is my fic with Daniel and Lestat. It's set after the interview is over and Lestat finds Daniel in New York.

It’s been a year since the interview.  Daniel’s book based on it came out a few weeks ago.  It’s been hailed by critics as a masterpiece, both for its harrowing depiction of racism and the authentic portrayal of queer identities.  Of course, they think it’s fiction.  Metaphor.  They don’t know the very real danger they’re in.  That monsters do exist out there beyond metaphor.  

The book became a bestseller practically overnight.  Hell, his publicist is telling him about rumors of a movie script being talked about.  It’s all very exciting.  Daniel wishes he cared.  His daughters still aren’t speaking to him, so it’s not like he needs the money.  All money is good for now is to leave his loved ones.  With his health, he probably won’t be around to see the movie get released if it does get made.

Mortality beats a heavy drum.  

Daniel’s worries that the others will come for him.  He did expose them, after all, even if the world believes they are fiction.  He has Armand’s amulet for protection with a vial of his blood inside.  If he were to be approached by a vampire, he’s to break the vial and they’ll know what power protects him.  

As if it would do any good.  As if Armand has ever been any good for him.  Those freshly reborn memories are too painful to contend with, so Daniel forces them back.  

He’s back in Brooklyn, trying not to think of his inevitable demise.  Every day that ticks by brings him closer to death, and really, what’s the fucking point?  He’s bitter and he’s lonely.  He misses people he doesn’t want to miss.  He wants things he doesn’t want to want.

But he’s accepted his fate.  

So naturally, that’s when something has to happen to shake things up.  That something is Lestat de Lioncourt.  Daniel meets him after a book signing he agreed to over in Queens.  He’s just shuffling back into his home, stepping out of his shoes when a lamp clicks on.  

Sitting on his favorite armchair is a blond man with hair down to his shoulders, a strong jaw, and eerie, incandescent blue eyes.  His smile is slow and dangerous with a hint of fang showing.  “I assume I need no introduction.”

“Lestat.”

This isn’t how he imagined dying.  It had never occurred to him that Lestat might seek him out.  His hand goes to the amulet under his shirt and he clasps it.  He doesn’t want to break it, he discovers.  Such stupid sentimentality.  

He doubts it would matter anyway.  Lestat knows Armand.  He was pushed off a tower by him.  

Maybe letting on he knows Armand is a bad idea.

“Daniel Molloy,” Lestat says and smiles, big and manic.  “I’ve read your book.  I must say, I’m not a fan of the slander.”

“You come to kill me?  Go ahead; I’m dying already.”

Lestat makes himself comfortable in the chair.  “I’m not here to kill you.  I’m here to set the record straight.”

Great.  More vampire drama.

Daniel goes to the kitchen; and pulls open the cabinet with the glasses.  “I’m getting a drink.  You want anything?”

It’s just manners kicking in.  He’s seen Louis drink alcohol before, though it doesn’t seem to affect his kind the same.  He’s just pulling out a glass when he feels something behind him.  Daniel turns and Lestat is right there in his space.  He’s so startled, he drops the glass, but Lestat catches it midair.  

“I am feeling peckish, yes.”  Lestat’s smile is predatory and his teeth glint in the low light.  He runs the back of his pointer finger along Daniel’s jugular, down to the old bite scar.

Daniel gets a flash of memory.  Armand making the same gesture while Daniel squirms naked in front of him, so turned on and so ready to be bitten.  Lestat cocks his head to the side, reading his thoughts.  “Ah, one of Armand’s pets.  You’ve outlasted the others.”

Daniel feels very aware of the amulet around his neck.  He wonders if Lestat noticed it.  What would he think, to hear that Daniel wasn’t just another pet, but a lover?  That Armand still cares.  Still wants him.  Is still waiting for him.

“Aren’t you full of surprises?” Lestat says, and reaches for the amulet.  Daniel instinctively jerks it back.  Lestat drops his hand and takes another step forward.  They were already close, now they are practically touching.  “Do you remember what it was like, cheri?  To have his teeth inside you?”

His heart skips a beat and Daniel’s breath stops.  Lestat’s other arm comes around him to rest the glass on the counter.  He leaves it with his forearm resting against Daniel’s side.  His other hand trails up Daniel’s arm over his shoulder to the nape of his neck.  Lestat leans in towards his neck and breathes in his scent.  “I can show you what it’s like, to feel the embrace of a vampire.  You’ve been missing that, no?”

Lestat’s breath ghosts over Daniel’s throat and Daniel tries not to shiver.  “No.”

“Liar,” Lestat chides.  He brings his mouth to Daniel’s ear.  “I think I’ll enjoy taking Armand’s mortal minion.”

Daniel goes to step back, but the counter is behind him.  The hand on his nape tightens and Lestat tilts his head back.  He licks up Daniel’s jugular.  “Don’t fight it, mon vieux.  Let me taste you.”

A ragged gasp escapes Daniel at the contact.  He’s pretty sure Lestat isn’t going to wait for permission.   “Wait-”

Lestat doesn’t wait; he bites down and Daniel’s knees nearly buckle.  There’s pain, but it is extraordinary.  Every nerve in Daniel sings and he hums.  Pleasure unfurls from where Lestat’s mouth is sucking at his neck, traveling down his entire body.  It’s been so long since he’s felt this; he hadn’t realized how he craved it.

His hands go to Lestat’s shoulders and cling and a small moan escapes his lips.  Lestat’s arm goes around his waist and supports his weight.  Daniel feels like he’s in a haze, everything feels good and nothing hurts.  He doesn’t want it to ever stop.  If this is how dying feels, he’s ready to meet death.  

Lestat laughs against his throat and pulls back.  “Louis is too fond of you to kill you…yet.”  He presses a thumb to his fang and rubs it over the bite mark on Daniel’s neck.  It heals instantly, and Lestat steps back.  He returns to the living room and sits down in the arm chair.

Daniel pours a generous drink of brandy and swallows it back.  He refills and comes to join Lestat in the other room.  He sits down across on the couch and looks at Lestat.  “What do you mean, set the record straight?”

“Another book, telling my story.  I will tell it, you will write it.”

“I’m guessing saying no isn’t really an option.”

Lestat smiles.  “Oh Daniel, you know it is not.”

Daniel lets out a heavy sigh and tosses back his drink.  He grabs his laptop and sets it up to record.  “Go ahead.”

“I am The Vampire Lestat. I'm immortal. More or less. The light of the sun, the sustained heat of an intense fire-these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not. I'm six feet tall-”

“Bullshit,” Daniel cuts in.  “You’re 5’10 tops.”

“Don’t interrupt, Daniel,” Lestat says with a warning glance.

“You want me to tell your story, we use my methods,” Daniel says.  “That or walk.”

Lestat’s smile grows.  “I can see why he likes you.  You’re feisty.

“I’m old and out of fucks to give,” Daniel says.  He can’t believe he has to sit here and listen to this guy talk about himself after he just bit him without permission. It’s akin to rape.

“Ah, but you wanted it, mon cher.”

That’s not the point, but Daniel doesn’t press it.  Why bother?  Lestat is a monster; of course he does monstrous things.  Daniel will survive.  He always does.

“You gonna tell me your story or what?”

#iwtv fic