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novelconcepts · 4 days

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I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.

And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.

#i saw the tv glow #I saw the tv glow spoilers #it is SUCH a queer story #the disassociation. the hiding in fiction to feel alive.#the horror of watching time tick by and knowing you’re not who you’re meant to be #the unique paralysis of staying put in hell because it’s safer than what might be over the horizon #the tragedy of trying to help someone who isn’t ready to be helped #god it’s so much. god. rarely do I walk out of a film and just stare soundlessly into space #anyway. please see this movie. although I sort of hope if you’re reading this post it’s cuz you already have #eta: I used he because the main character never quite vocalizes another pronoun #but this is SUCH a trans story. suuuuch a trans story. it is not even a little subtle #it’s so good and so so painful

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thedisablednaturalist · 4 months

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Sometimes terms mean certain things and belong to certain groups of people and are not meant to apply to people outside that group. And that is on purpose and valid. You can make your own terms to describe your own experiences, you don't get to take terms from other people, especially people more vulnerable/less privileged than you. If multiple people tell you that the term is not for you, respect that.

When terms get used for many different situations they get diluted and trivialized. Remember "trigger"? It was a specific medical term and is now used to mean "something that pissed or upset someone". Brain fog is now turning into abled people just being a little sleepy or out of it, not literally a clinical term for brains not functioning correctly due to various illnesses. I tell someone I have brain fog and they say lol me too XD no you fucking don't. "Spirit animal" was taken from indigenous peoples so white people could make funny haha relatable t-shirts. Two spirit almost got taken by queer white people as well (although I think most people have backed off on that hopefully).

Not everything needs to apply to as many people as possible. You don't need to and can't relate to everyone. We can still support each other while respecting differences.

(Edited ver)

#wrenfea.exe #this is about people using nonverbal for selective mutism btw #and about mentally ill abled people using cripple #like if ambulatory wheelchair users can come up with our own term then you can too #idk if its not as concise or it takes effort to get it to catch on #you dont get to steal the work other people have done to spread awareness of their term and its meaning #disability #nonverbal #selective mutism #spoonie #chronic disability #chronic pain #chronic illness #cripple #cripple punk #autism #adhd #readying my inbox for a wave of the stupidest people who've never seen any of my posts to flood the gates #i saw someone throwing ambulatory wheelchair users under the bus to justify why they should be able #to use the term nonverbal #pls correct me if you are from the relevant communities #i updated this to make it more accurate bc funnily enough brain fog made me forget about chronic illness triggers

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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Bestie Deficiency

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #a-qing #xue yang #xiao xingchen #Xue yang is cold because cold blooded creatures can't generate their own body heat #I am skipping over drawing the stories they tell due to the fact this arc is already really dragging #but I think they are very key in understanding the yi-city characters #Even if they are stories that really bring down the slumber party vibes A-Qing was hoping for.#I mentioned some of my thoughts in the tags of no. 76 but to continue on a bit more #I think xxc and xue yangs stories inversely mirror each other on the meaning of sacrifice and what it means to 'deserve' something #to xue yang he has only ever sacrificed - therefore he is in his right to 'deserve' what he wants. And he wants everything.#xxc leaves song lan thinking its the best course of action to atone but my god. No it wasn't. Poor communication crown actually goes to xxc #but it's what xxc he feels he deserves - continued sacrifice to atone. He wants to want nothing.#both are very stuck in the past in ways that are not actually accounting for their actions #It's easy to look at xue yang and go 'dang you need to get over your childhood trauma'#but that very much ignores that fact that we - real human beings - define so much by our childhood pains.#Growth is having to come to terms with it and trying to move past it...and not everyone is ready for that.#I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now.#Anyways. Amiguito appears to be one of those words whos meaning change depending on speaker and contextual factors #So as far as I can tell it slides around on the scale on romantic and platonic. Which works for this dynamic. I think.#Native Spanish speakers I am so sorry.

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sergle · 5 months

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I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin.#but for now.#I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color #and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural #and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares?#recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural #and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring #and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently #the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart #and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural #he was behind the curtain like FUCK #taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup #that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl.#they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?)#ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol #so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO #other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace #and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!''#this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell #and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins #he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home #flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish #and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.

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deimcs · 8 months

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COMPLETE: THE PALE ELF / Astarion has become the Vampire Ascendant. He had to sacrifice Cazador, his brothers and sisters, and thousands of other vampire spawn; but he'll never fear the sun or suffer a vampire's hunger again.

#bg3edit #gamingedit #baldur's gate 3 #astarionedit #bg3 #astarion #bg3 spoilers #edits #had to go with this route the second time around cause i made more sense for my tav #but when i tell you i was IN PAIN in seeing him stripped away of his 'humanity'#ready to restart the cycle of power hungry abuse #varian - who only wanted to help him get through with this cause he also has beef with autorithy figures who are abusive and live for #serving retribution so robbing cazador of every single drop of power he once held above astarion seemed right at the time #seeing his friend turning into the exact thing he despise:#🧍🏻‍♂️ i may have fucked up #but the expressions were so sexy tho #the stark difference between the sad softness of his face if you convince him to spare everyone and just. THIS.

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alchemania · 6 months

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“Don't you hate her?”

Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”

“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”

The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”

“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”

“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”

“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”

“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”

“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”

“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”

The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.

“..anything else?”

“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”

“Stop.”

“..what?”

“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.

A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.

“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”

“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”

“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”

"She loved me-"

"And she left you, so not enough."

Just like my mother ..

“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.

“What?”

“You're crying…”

..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.

“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”

“But are you?”

There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”

It was something that surprised him, again and again.

“I just don't understand why you care..”

“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”

“And you want to do that?”

A pause.

“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”

“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”

“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.

“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”

Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”

“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”

“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”

He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."

#screaming crying #i will probably go back and clean this up later but i just wanted to get it out there and start yelling #i think wanderer would be so so angry about what happened to furina and it just. weighs heavy on his heart and he's like god. GOD!!!#his heart is way squishier than he would like to admit he's ready to square up so quickly and had it not been for focalors being dead #oh BABY he'd have Some Words For Her #genshin impact #wanderer #furina #4.2 spoilers #AUGH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG SPOILERS SORRY SORRY #please god i am going to explode i am thinking so hard im in pain #ue ue ue ue ue #loved but left behind.....#a means to an end..you feel me...#im dyin scoob

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jasperyourmutt · 7 days

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hi everyone <3

I have a bit of a life update. To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal. so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need. so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right. I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here. so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.

#agh personal posts. i know this is mainly a dogboy kink blog and some people will not care. but this is my blog and i will share what i want #i am safe and okay. i am just.. struggling to accept that i am very very sick right now. i was raised to just push that shit way down.#im done doing that. i am going to have to feel all the pain to heal it. nervous but excited. ready but hesitant.#anyways. hi. i love what this blog has done for me. for what this community has done for me. i will be back. you cant get rid of me!#will be keeping an eye out for messages for the next couple days. but this post is mainly to give myself permission to take a step back.#its weird. i feel obligated to post here and am feeling guilty for putting myself first. but thats the trauma i guess!#anyways anyways anyways. if youve read all of this i love you. thank you for listening. see you soon.#jasperbarks

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starlightvld · 5 months

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"Simon falls to his knees in front of John and rests his hands on the backs of John's calves. His eyes are like nothing John's ever seen; looking into them is like drowning in amber pools of devastation and desperation and something... something broken all at once..."

- Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts, Chapter 3 sneak peek, Art by @kibagib

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mllenugget · 25 days

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I have only one word and one word only : CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI CRI

"I intended to skip Purgatory 2 to catch up faster on VODs since I was told they were unrelated lore-wise But my biggest mistake was to vibe check all the new players - I was not expecting to completely fall head over heels for Team Capybara, hot damn I love them all so much ????" - Me, February 2024

────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

I took @sunshinetomioka's werewolf Guill headcanon and ran with it btw, credit to it

#you have no idea how painful it was of a dilemma for me to only pick one outfit for Jinki i am so bitter about it #JimmyBoyyy #Bastet #Bagi #TheGuill84 #Scottonauta #Jinkiwinkki #the common factors between all the brazilians is the nose piercing #wait no actually this Bagi design doesn't have one here for some reason but my usual one does #btw i was hesitant for a long time before posting this because I didn't know what to think of my Bagi design U_U #Bagi is a veteran player which means I came up with a design for her months ago AND seperately from the Purgatory 2 new crew #and I had this artistic direction with all my other designs for veteran players that they would all look bruised and bloodied with dirty-#-torned up clothes and what not because it was Purgatory 1 back then (which is why my poor girl Bagi looks rOuGH here)#but then when I started drawing the new players I made them all look shiny and brand new #and I still cleaned up Bagi in her Purg2 version (no blood on her outfit !!) but she still clashes a bit with everyone else so idk man.#Also theres my watermark on this one when i said i wouldnt do that anymore for q fanarts #because this post has been up and ready since February and I lost the original files because I have a bad habit of not ctrl+S #ah et à mes mutu fr : Guill c'était le seul fr de tout qsmp dont je n'avais jamais regardé le contenu avant voilàdesbisousbye #purgatory 2 #qsmp purgatory 2 #mcyt #my art #qsmp

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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It's actually kind of heartbreaking how many people feel their life has ended right after high school or college, and honestly, the heavy romanticization of that period of time is so overwhelmingly predominant that it can be hard to avoid. It's insidious to constantly be told that ages 10-24 are the only worthwhile parts of life, that everything after is essentially meaningless and dull.

It's hard not to look around you and think that your life still is open and full of potential when you're told over and over again that the rose-tinted childhood is the last time you were alive. It's hard to realize that your life isn't over when you walk off the stage of your graduation.

We must realize that we will always be full of potentials. Your life won't be over until you take your final breath, and then? That's simply another chapter in your story, one of many. Let yourself realize that you're alive in the here and now. There will be good and bad, but never a complete loss of potential or hope.

#positivity #it's just... weird when you see somebody your age who says how over their life feels you know?#and i feel for them. i feel their pain and the emptiness of not knowing what's next or what you should do #and that's sometimes the scary part of life. but your story isn't over yet #one day it will be. one day you'll put the pen down and dry the ink on the yellowed pages and close your book of life. but that's not today #you are allowed to be an aimless spirit. you are allowed to breathe in without the crushing weight of productivity #the idea that your only potential happens when you're too young to realize it is wrong #your potential has nothing to do with feeling your youth and how little you know #it is hard to really internalize this and remind yourself to make space for hope and positivity...#...and you might not be ready to internalize this. that's okay. i'll wait with you (in a strictly spiritual sense)#we can wait together and not think about any of it. just to rest and collect our minds and feel the world hold its breath with us #all this to say that your life isn't over yet. you don't have to beat yourself up over not having lived at fucking 18 #allow yourself the compassion to realize that you needed time to grow and mature and explore the world in your own way

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thedisablednaturalist · 9 months

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"It is illegal for an employer to discriminate based upon disability! So if you have no excuse if you are unemployed!"

Employers:

[ID: Snippets of job requirements. By bromantically]

1. "This position requires the individual to drive either a company car, rental car or his/her own car in the course of performing their job from time to time. Employee must be able to perform the physical functions of operating a motor vehicle, including use of eyes, ears, arms, hands, legs, and feet. Employee must be able to prove that he/she has a current, valid driver’s with no restrictions." The part that says, "Employee must be able to perform the physical functions of operating a motor vehicle, including use of eyes, ears, arms, hands, legs, and feet." has been highlighted.

2. "Ability to repetitively stoop, crawl, bend at the knees and waist, squat and lift 50 lbs; includes body weight, equipment, tools and boxes, in addition to ability to stand for long periods of time on varied surfaces. Must be able to stand up to five hours at a time." End ID.]

#working while disabled #disabled employee #i have seen desk jobs use the must be able to lift 20 lbs loophole #this is ESPECIALLY PREVALENT in environmental science jobs even those that dont require fieldwork #the first one is for an entry level environmental scientist at dewberry #disclaimer: the second one is from a security guard position bc i couldnt find a ready example of this #without searching through a ton of job descriptions #but i promise you i have seen shit like this for non physical labor jobs #and jobs that have some physical labor but can have accomodations #they just dont want to do the extra work of accomodating to make the work feasible for a disabled person #so they outright say this shit #disability #physical disability #cripplepunk #cpunk #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #wheelchair #from the field

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soullistrations · 11 months

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wept for like two straight hours as i finished station eleven today because. the airport. the wheel. jeevan on the subway. the race at the dock and the hotel on another continent. the timeloop in the book. none of them got to go home, they were all stuck in this liminal space when the apocalypse hit them--jeevan even walked kirsten home but she couldn't get into her house anymore because she didn't have a key! this recurring question, of if the past matters, if it should be destroyed or enshrined, if we can go home again after a world-shifting tragedy. (like doctor eleven--they always come back, but can they ever go home?)

and THEN. and then kirsten and jeevan's final exchange--"it was so cold. she forgot her key." "you walked her home." i am weeping i tell you. she's come unstuck from that place of transit. she's home.

#a show will tell you 'home can be anything'#home is asking for help #home is getting to say goodbye #home is finally coming unstuck from the pain that's haunted you #home is hamlet with your mom #just. god.#i wasn't ready to watch this in 2021 but i finally got around to it and it was so good.#station eleven #rebamble #rebs watches things

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seatawinan · 2 years

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#i feel you linger in the air #nonkul chanon #Bright Rapheephong #mjtag #userbillkin #usernuria #userconcrete #usersarawatine #userkit #*sam.gifs #im ready for pain in 2023

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hehe-hoho-ohno · 5 months

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So, uh, I get the general vibe that people are expecting a new chapter for Misfits on Christmas. Honestly, I was also hoping that I would be able to update on Crisis. Unfortunately, the chapter is not even close to being ready to be posted. I'm really sorry. (Combo of busy irl, writers block, and a new hyperfixation grabbing me by the throat.)

However! As a holiday treat, I do have a snippet from the next chapter of Misfits. Spoilers under the cut!

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People Who Might Be Persuaded To Wind Ingo Up; a numbered list:

1. Emmet

I cannot ask Emmet, he gave a very clear no, as is his right. He seemed extremely distressed by the prospect and I don’t want to upset him further. There’s no need to burden him with my problems.

2. General North

I know that if I asked him he would oblige me, as he has done so in the past. After the entirety of the Taffy Battalion rebuffed me he came to my aid. However, this also caused him to reassign me to the Pine Battalion, effective immediately, because if they refused assist me with basic maintenance then our working relationship had clearly deteriorated beyond repair. He would not listen when I tried to persuade him otherwise.

I cannot risk him removing me from Gear Battalion. Do not approach under any circumstances.

3. Whoever it is that helps Emmet?

It doesn’t make any sense. Who winds Emmet up? He’s been working on his own for quite some time, and he doesn’t appear to have any friends. General North? It can’t be, Emmet hates him. Besides, if he asked the General now he would simply redirect him to me, or worse. There must be something I’m missing.

I can’t ask Emmet directly, but perhaps there is some other way to find out?

4. The fairy floss spiders

I talked to Emmet’s spiders about my dilemma and they were very good listeners. I had a far fetched and rather outrageous theory that Emmet might have trained them to wind him up. In my defence, they are the only living beings Emmet has a positive relationship with. Further thought proved that this was an even more ludicrous idea than first assumed, as they are too small and lightweight to physically turn a key, even if a whole cluster of them worked together. It is possible that exhaustion is making me slightly delirious.

It was not a complete waste as I feel better after putting my thoughts into words. Additionally, spending time with the spiders always puts me in a positive mood.

Update: a cluster of them worked together to drag a candy cane to me. They must have misunderstood my worries about running out of energy for me being hungry, not understanding that I don’t need to eat like they do. All the same, it was extremely sweet of them to try to help me and it’s a gift I will treasure.

5. Donner

Even when we were in the same battalion our relationship was transactional in nature. If I did a chore for him, such as cleaning or moving cargo, he would return the favour and assist me with maintenance. I have not spoken to him since my removal from his battalion. Although we parted ways on a sour note, he might still be willing to aid me if I offer my services.

Update: He refused. He laughed at me.

6. Captain Jawbreaker

Previously, he gave me an ultimatum: no member of the battalion would wind me up unless I smiled convincingly beforehand. At the time I was unable to. If this ultimatum is still in effect, perhaps it works in the reverse as well.

Update: I’ve tried in front of a mirror and I was unable to produce anything that Captain Jawbreaker would be satisfied with. Since my removal from the Taffy Battalion I have not been practicing as frequently and upon joining Gear Battalion I stoped completely. It’s noticeable. I’m terribly rusty.

Update: I can’t do it. My more recent attempts would be more likely to elicit a punishment than a reward. My cheeks hurt.

Update: I still can’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to even if I had days to improve and I don’t have days. I shouldn’t be wasting my time trying but I don’t know what else to do.

Update: I can’t

7. ???

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, who else is there? Everyone hates me. Everyone hates me. I can’t even bring myself to try pleading with more of my former squad members I already know they’ll say no they don’t like me no one does

I’m running out of time

8. Emmet

Beg. I could throw myself at his feet and beg for mercy. He’s been kind before and he’s shown concern for my well being in the past, he might take pity on me. He’s my friend, isn’t he? If he knew how dire my situation was

What a horrible thing to do to a friend. He was so distressed the first time I brought it up, I won’t add guilt to that too. I don’t want to risk our friendship by pushing beyond what he is comfortable with. I don’t want him to hate me.

Maybe he already does

9. Nobody

#misfits #wip Wednesday #submas #Tumblr did not want to play nice with the formatting orz #perhaps its for the best that its not ready for chimbsmas #this isnt a particularly festive chapter #like #I got a gift for you!#IT WAS PAIN #people in the comments last chapter were really worried about Ingo #as they should be #submas angst #<- I am not kidding

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masterwords · 1 year

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What's my worst quality? || 2x15 - Revelations

What if we don't want a new Unit Chief? || 3x02 - In Name and Blood

#aaron hotchner #derek morgan #hotchgan #criminal minds #hotch and morgan being petty volume 1 #aka the best continuity that the writers ever had was when these two wanted to really get under each other's skin #and i thank them for it #bless #there is something so soft about the way that derek says “you can be” and “sometimes” like he's not as willing to gut hotch as jj and emily #and hotch just wads it up and sticks it in his lil pocket and throws it back at derek when he's getting ready to leave the bau #and when derek claps back by saying #look man #are you a pain in my ass? YES SIR #PEAK HOTCHGAN #i am very normal and i am doing great today why do you ask?#and no i do not give a rat's behind about the rated tv-14 nonsense i did these screencaps at 1am and it stays as a marker of my madness

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tswwwit · 9 months

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I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.

It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.

The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.

Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!

For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.

#answers #Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal.#But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband #When it comes to most of the the Ford situations #Bill gets to have fun with those #Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan #Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over -#Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey'#Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way #Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun!#For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes #But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up #Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way #Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it!#Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails #Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed #Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it #That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying #APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text

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