#anyways that's just me babbling to myself

[yummyyummie]

It's interesting to evaluate what kinks click and which ones only do something when combined with another

Like how fatness or being stuffed with food does not do anything on their own for me, it's kind of boring on its own in terms of kinks. Fat is just a generally attractive physical trait and stuffing is just a kind of cute and nice thing

But you combine it with vore, or bdsm, or pet play? Then we're starting to get somewhere, that actually tickles the brain a bit

Prey being stuffed to the brim just to be a more filling meal to their pred? Someone being such a pampered sub / pet that they put on weight over how much their dom insist they get treats when doing well? Aughh

#tw vore #tw suggestive #v0re #text #just talking #i've said it before but it's always both amusing and frustrating that sometimes folks assume that one has a fat kink *just* because of #drawing fat characters whether be in sfw or suggestive material #fat bodies are attractive but the fatness in of itself doesn't really do anything for me in the same way vore does for example #it's very appealing to involve fat characters in kink art though because of being biased towards what i find attractive and pretty #hence the abundance of personal art of fat monster ladies doing this and that with one another #anyways that's just me babbling to myself

[simlit]

3, 6, 7, 9, 13, 19, 22, 24, 25, for VEN

What is your OCs fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

In his current state? Probably his selflessness. He gives too much to people and has a hard time drawing lines if it's someone he deeply cares about. Case in point, letting Naida more or less railroad the entire family into chasing the Fountain of Youth. In his defense, Naida isn't really someone you can win fights against, but considering the dangerous nature of the voyage, one would think he should have fought against it a lot harder. I do think he's aware of it, but not in a way he can actively check, because it's a lot of him overcompensating for the way he used to be and the things he's done. So I guess a larger and probably more fatal flaw is the fact that he carries around so much guilt and does a lot in the name of reparations.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Easily, but tbh I feel this is one thing Ven shares with Kato. His morals can be bent depending on who is involved and the consequence of the situation. Ven isn't standing on moral highground in the first place, despite understanding right and wrong well enough. He certainly doesn't care enough about authority not to break rules, and as far as life or death is concerned, a life will always matter less to him if they're at odds with someone he loves. That being said, I think he's resourceful enough to find ways around making risky choices.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Also a really fun question, cuz I haven't thought about it in years LOL. Though Ven stayed mostly the same from conception, he was supposed to be a bit more "roguish" even after his Reaper years. More of the typical pirate: loose, unkempt and thieving. But he ended up being way more charitable and straightlaced than I'd initially planned, but that ironed itself out almost immediately so I don't really consider it to have been "the plan" just "what I had had in mind at some point" lmao. Now the idea of Ven sleeping around with literally anyone is goddamn baffling to me.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Every single word of his theme song, "The Balancer's Eye" by Lord Huron, but all of this: Nothing's waiting for us in the great sky Life is equal to dust in the Balancer's eye Now I know that I can't lift an old curse Tell me, how does a man change the universe? Will I ever be forgiven for the crime of my life? Will it haunt me till I die? To the end of time?

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

I think Ven is one of the few characters I can genuinely answer "yes" to this question lmao. Just because Ven is hands down the least judgmental of my OCs, not to mention packing all that charisma, he can literally talk to anyone. Although I probably would just be dead on the floor so it wouldn't be a very interesting conversation.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

We so rarely see Ven angry. Honestly, a bit like Kyrie, Ven has a quiet temper. He's good at restraining himself now, because he knows intimately well just how horrible of a person he can be, so he makes a concerted effort never to let anything get him that upset. Mostly, things don't anger him as much as he may be disappointed or saddened. There is one scene in OST:O I've had planned for years that actually showcases Ven's true anger and it is very much "silent and lethal" lmao.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Oof, I dunno, somewhere between neutral good and chaotic neutral. Hard to pinpoint lol

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone done? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Oh, this one is interesting. I think Ven could have easily continued down the path he started on when he got the sight. That is, had he not been able to pull himself back from that maniacal person he'd become as consequence, he'd be unrecognizable today. That's not to say he isn't already because he absolutely was that person for a moment in time. The Reaper King wasn't just a persona, it was his entire essence. He was ruthless, violent and he did very literally kill dozens (I won't say 100s but it's up there) of people. We like to imagine him as the loving father and perfect husband he is now, but outside of maybe Elsera he's my OC with the highest bodycount. And while in a way you could justify he killed people because "they deserved to die" he was never in the right to pass that judgement. Had he not eventually woken up from that state of trauma and derangement, he'd still be a completely unstable murderous lunatic .-.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

How hot he is. The end.

#jade babbles #ec: ven bellamy #ask game #this is old but I needed a mental break #I've been working a lot of 12 hour days and im just so tired #not having time or energy to do creative stuff gets me so pent up too #I only have one day of this left but tonight was just getting rough so I needed to do something for myself #thank god I ignored this when aymay sent it in the first place LOL #also I was reading back on ost:o and bellamies and getting nostalgic #anyways I get one troll answer bye :squidwardasleep:

[twistedappletree]

my faq: i do not engage in fandom discourse or respond to antis

ppl after reading my faq: ok *immediately sends an ask about fandom discourse & their anti BS*

#LMAO ANYWAY #friendly reminder that if you send me that shit I don’t even read all of it #I just delete it and never answer so it’s pointless to even try thanks ✨ #pls also take my faq seriously #this is my blog and I have every right to make it a safe place for myself and my followers #don’t like it? don’t follow/message/interact with me just to try and start shit 🤷‍♀️ #c h r i s t #apple babble 🍎 #delete later #person is gone & blocked btw so if you’re reading this it’s not about you #but still important for future reference and newer followers to please respect my faq and the way i curate my online space 🙏 #i do it for you guys too so you can follow someone who doesn’t get involved in fandom drama lmaooo

[anemoflower]

Is *checks calendar* 3 months too soon to think about marrying Elias

#;babbling phia #I actually wanted to write something for their dating phase... #but PROPOSAL AND WEDDING THOUGHTS #The next tags will be a bit negative so #tw negative #I had to listen to people get engaged/prepare wedding/visit friends weddings for the last few weeks #I'm actually so so sick of it #because it puts the pressure on me that I should have this too by now #it's this disgusting feeling of jealousy I guess #I never wanted to get married #because I can't imagine myself to get married irl (I mean doesn't work without a partner anyway haha) #so I did not care before #but hearing it almost everyday at work is just... idk #I'm happy for them I am! #but I can't switch off these thoughts of 'pls don't let my single ass in on your happy relationship life' #gosh I hate feeling like this #I'm very emotional recently and easily annoyed ough #idk what's wrong #disclaimer: this only applies to people irl- not selfship #If you and your f/o get married I'M CHEERING FOR YOU #anyways HAPPY 3 MONTHS ELIAS MY BELOVED #(I think it's still a few days actually- around the... 15th? I can't remember the exact date I just know it was around valentine's)

[izzy-b-hands]

At what point do i stop bothering to differentiate between the panic and anxiety attacks when they just. meld into each other and seemingly feed off each other

#text post #i have been fighting my brain since i woke up bc like. I dont actually feel anxious?? abt work or anything else but #my brain has the WE ARE NOT SAFE DO NOT REST DO NOT BREATHE WRONG OR SO HELP YOU GOD neon sign flashing constantly today #All ive succeeded (lol) in doing is most of the dishes (couple need to soak) a failed filming and now #i would like a couple hours of Minecraft before work #but i am uncertain the brain will allow for it lmao #had to come back upstairs to my room after dishes bc brain just. freaking out. too open. too many windows. #anyway. apologies if im not as available as i intended to be today #good thing is thus far i don't work the upcoming week/weekend so i can catch up then #try and finish some drafts and talk to friends more and everything #im babbling in the tags willing myself to stop sweating and snap out of what i think is actually an anxiety attack but #no idea on what the trigger was since all i did was wake the fuck up #back to music to help and maybe Minecraft until work #thank u all for ur continued patience with me ❤️

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 8

“Cosmo Canyon" by Nobuo Uematsu for Final Fantasy VII

#song of the day #sliiiightly cheating as kaylithographica reminds me we haven't actually heard this in its entirety in the game quite yet #but it's one of the songs I enjoy most and I do love Red and we did make it to Cosmo Canyon today #I've been talking mostly about game progress in my tag babbles these last however many days but I have a sillier project as well #as I watch the game I've been going through my bookmarks and drafts and notes to myself and organizing things #it keeps my hands busy and it is a project I try to undertake every spring-ish so I was about due anyway #and I am very proud of myself because I have taken my 'deal with later' bookmarks from nearly 2000 down to a mere 800 #a pittance! #(a lot of them I just shuffled to different better-organized folders but still! all progress is progress) #my tumblr drafts is also well over 1000 but it's also much better organized #once I finish with it I'll dump it all into the queue and probably it'll be hmm. #spitball math says probably 800 into the queue and 200odd to otherwise deal with #that's 80 days of queue at the current pace which also seems roughly correct #the post that came out yesterday that talked about queue lengths was four months after I first saw it but it was otherwise delayed #my queue stopped while I was sick in December and again while I voyaged in January and I think for work a few times before that #so I am in accordance to my own rough yearly rhythms still mostly on top of things!

[uhhbeans]

thinking about our boys and CRYING and weeping an d.

#like :(( they've been here for what? 5 years now? i wanna say? #i dont feel like going back and checking #but like. i was just a baby!! i was just a little infant thing!!! #once that hyperfixation faded a while back i like. havent looked at any of the canon stuff without cringing #but now with the new video it's like :(( #that was my first hyperfixation. my start on tumblr :( #i got to meet most of my mutuals that i can call my FRIENDS now!!! #the ego comics arent even for me anymore. they're for that baby that waited so patiently for a smidgen of canon content #c!jack not being canon would make her blood boil. and to that i say. fuck yeah #anyway.....i miss them :( #chase was my first real outlet outside of myself for hurt/comfort with him n schneep #jamie taught so many writers how to develop their styles when writing mute characters and sign language!! that was so cool to see!! #still debate changing my name to marvin sometimes #idk just to think that these characters formed so much of MY life and probably so many other people's...it's sweet #im babbling on the internets again.

[natasha-in-space]

You ever read a fic that's so good, you just have to lay there and stare at the ceiling in complete silence for like 15 minutes or so while your brain is basically vibrating with hundreds of thoughts? Yeah, that's one of the best feelings in the world, holy molly

#mia babbles #< gonna use this tag for random thoughts i'm willing to post lol #anyways i've been rotating this fic in my head in full microwave mode and it makes me so giddy #this fic is for a different fandom from mm but #gosh i forgot how much i truly do enjoy psychological horror #i love myself a piece of art that will leave me pondering about my own place in the universe and what is truly real or not #who are you really? are you your physical form? the collective image of you from the people around you? your soul? your brain? #if there were hundreds copies of you placed in the same exact circumstances - would they be any different? #so what makes you YOU? #brain vibrating #having an art block so i can't get myself to write anything but it's moments like these that make my fingers practically ITCH to create #also i'm genuinely shocked at the talent of some fic writers #like you guys are amazing and i would legit buy a book from you #so many talented folks living all around the world and i just think that's so amazing :)

[ghostsinthecellar]

I am worried about money all. the. time. and mom keeps buying things! for me! that I either don’t need or already have!

#Charlie babbles #waaagh. #if I want something I put off asking or I say 'maybe if we have extra at the beginning of next month' #but then she buys things without telling me and then asks about it after it's already here #do you like these shorts? this book was one you liked right? #and then I feel guilty if the answer is no because I can tell she already ordered it #I wanted to get [specific book] for myself for my birthday next month and I just found out she ordered me two books we already have lmao #it's one of those like. 'it's fine it's nice thank you but please for the love of god' kind of things #I've spoken up about it but it doesn't stop #she asked me last year if I wanted a big camping chair and I said let me think about it and she ordered it anyway and #it turned into a Situation when I got mad. because it was expensive! maybe I wanted it maybe I didn't but that shouldn't matter #if I say 'give me time don't order it yet' and you do anyway it just. ugh. #whatever I do love the books she got and I don't know where my copies are so it's. okay. but I would've rather had 1 (ONE) new book

[floral-hex]

no see I WILL write something eventually, I haven’t been putting it off, I’ve just been uhhhhh cultivating the story for a couple of years yeah yeah

#stop cultivating and start harvesting idiot #no but I CAN’T write until I have at least a dozen books of story ready to go #how am I supposed to foreshadow anything if I don’t know what’s going to happen 500 chapters later??? #how am I supposed to write a character even a minor one if I don’t have their entire future backstory and parent’s backstory planned out?? #I can’t worldbuild unless I plan out all of the major cities including their political systems religions economy food production trade etc #also I just don’t want to sit down and write #so I just sit an worldbuild in my head all day #I have been for like two years now this is the longest I’ve seriously ‘worked on’ (ie daydreamed) a story in my head #and it’s really cliche and has a billion well worn tropes but it’s like… this is my comfort world building #and by comfort I mean really kinda fucked up world but whatever every edgelord or loser with an over active imagination has one #I need to read more people’s uhh… like.. not published authors… like tumblr users writing or whatev. like what is it called ao3? that stuff #not to be negative to them or anything but to like hype myself up #like see you don’t have to be a big named author to put your mind out there #I’m just kind of babbling here #suddenly reminded that a book I like John Dies At The End was originally released chapter by chapter online #so like… you don’t have to be like ‘this has to be put out whole in one book to be real writing’ #I just need to write for fun but im a very shy boy 🥺 #im fucking 34 im not a little boy I have to remind myself #anyway… if any mutuals read this much and you write online you should message me something you have that you like so I can read it #and I’ll be extra sweet and supportive and happy bc you’ll be helping me and I’ll get to support you #or whatever. I dunno. this is dumb. I’m sorry for wasting your time! jeez! #you can ignore this #text

[paleinc]

I picked a bad time to want to post questions on reddit about chair recommendations specifically for heavier people with posture issues. I don’t want to click and read through a bunch of chairs on Amazon.

#jayy babbles #anyway it's always a cylinder issue. over an hour or two of sitting makes the chair sink. #i could also remind myself to get up every 20-30 min anyway and that would give me a reason to re-adjust the chair height. #i'm just in pain and would like to do less bending over for when my leg is in pain. which is more often now. #i don't even know if my idea of the 'correct' posture is correct because my legs and fingers are hypermobile so what if my back is too.

[ackcrabbit]

I finished every single design for Geofriends,,, now I gotta colour them all and start getting the 'site recreation' up

Ouughh. That's gonna take a while

#but! theyre all done! there was a lot of hiatus cuz like #ive been really depressed and struggling with work/life balance #and i still am but im like. slightly more stable #anyways i feel like ive overcome something neggling at me for ages #ive been inspiring myself with so many digital horror projects. its exactly what i needed #i recommend watching Teeny Toys Exploration #and AI Builds #and so so so many more #sorry babbling done im just actually proud of myself for once.

[twistedappletree]

This isn’t danmei related but it still baffles me how angry people were at the ending of A Plague Tale: Requiem, calling the game pointless because so many people died for Hugo and I’m like???? Y’all do realize Requiem wasn’t about Hugo, right? It gives you the illusion that it is but it’s clearly about Amicia, her inner turmoil and the horrific trauma she’s been through all while trying to save her baby brother while she’s still a baby herself. It’s about her self-destructive spiral of desperation and the consequences her obsession with saving her brother has on the rest of the world. That was the point. That was the lesson. It was intentional.

Also why are y’all expecting a 16-year-old girl who basically thinks she has nothing to live for aside of her brother to think about saving the same people who are actively trying to terrorize and kill them both and prioritize these people over saving her brother lmfaooo pls be fr

#i have way more articulate thoughts on this im just lazy rn #but APT is one of my fave franchises #and I’ve spoken with the devs and writers one on one about their vision for the game #i just don’t understand how it flew over people’s heads when it was so clearly expressed #like sorry i may not have siblings #but if i was a 16 yr old girl with a baby brother everyone wanted to treat like a lab rat #and steal from me so they can use him for their own selfish power trips #i wouldn’t give a fuck about saving them either lmaooo #she’s not a leader or a politician or a goddamn freedom fighter #she’s a teenage girl with a sling and only 1 person left in her life who hasn’t been slaughtered brutally in front of her #ajdhajhdAJDHAJD #anyway sorry been watching some playthroughs on yt and made myself mad ahahaHAHAHA #apple babble 🍎 #not danmei btw but still fandom so

[kurokoros]

I hate how guilty I feel about wanting things sometimes.

#like. the other day I finally got around to asking if I could paint my room a different color #which i said i would do by myself #and of course the answer was no #and then I felt awful because I cried a little afterwards #and what the hell am i doing crying over being told I can't paint my bedroom? #that just sounds incredibly spoiled of me #and today I again bit the bullet and asked about potentially getting another cat #because 1) i'm an animal lover and 2) my sister is moving out and taking her cat with #so my boy is going to be all alone for the first time in eight years #and I KNEW it was going to be a no #because i never get yeses #so now I'm just sad and disappointed. and I feel even worse because again that sounds really spoiled #and I really shouldn't because I never ask for anything #because I'm always expecting the answer to be a no anyway #i'm so used to being rejected that I don't even want to try anymore #or get my hopes up for anything #sorry to be personal on main i'm just having a weekend #alisha babbles

[onbeinganangel]

least read fics ✨

i was tagged by @danpuff-ao3 and @sweet-s0rr0w (see their posts here, and here, respectively, and go read those unloved hidden gems pls and thanks) to share my 5 least read fics on ao3, by either hits or kudos. this game was going around for National Author's Day and, as per usual, i'm so late it's not even fashionable anymore. ooopsies. thank you for the tags, pals!

while i think both hits and kudos are very flawed statistics i decided to go with hits for this one. my least read five, from the very bottom up are:

2020 Microfics [1100 words, 22 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2020 prompts.

a little too good to be true [800 words, ginsy, rated T, no warnings]

For a date that had started with Pansy surreptitiously pulling her phone out and texting Draco, in all caps, “You told me it was someone I didn’t know, you actual ballbag” the blind date had gone surprisingly well. It helped that Pansy accidentally blurted out what Draco had told her as soon as she laid eyes on Ginny, and Ginny laughed and replied with a “Well, Harry said, and I quote ‘She’s really lovely, give her a chance,’ so here I am.”

do it again [750 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

Luna,

I’m sorry. I know it’s the second time we’ve had to reschedule this interview. Work has been mental today and Ron got punched in the face. (He’s fine, it was kind of funny.) Draco will be mardy so if you have any of those hibiscus biscuits of yours with the lemon icing that you could spare, send him home with a few. I’ll owe you.

Tell him I’m really sorry and I’ll see you both at the Gala tonight.

H x

overture [115 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

In which Harry tells Draco all about his life.

2021 Microfics [5050 words, 95 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2021 prompts.

i accidentally rambled on (who's suprised? not me) about stats and about quality and about hits vs. kudos and all that nonsense so i'm putting the rest of this post under a cut. before that though, i'm going to link you to what is my 6th fic with the least amount of hits, because i am honestly appalled that it ranks 6th, as it's one of my favourite things i have ever written.

the underdog, the honourable mention, the but-mari-that's-not-in-the-rules:

Liturgia Horarum [1500, drarry, rated M, no warnings]

From morning melodies to evening encores, a day in the life through the soundtrack of routine.

and now, for my thoughts:

except for that last minute mention, the actual bottom 5 doesn't really surprise me at all. we have both sets of microfics, 2020's and 2021's and I think we all agree short form (especially extremely short form like micros) does much better on tumblr, plus the fact that they're all under the same work on ao3 despite it not being a cohesive story isn't super helpful. they're mostly there for archival purposes, and mostly for me. i do love having them all in the same place, and it does help me personally when i lose perspective. sometimes i open it just so i can tell myself "look at that, you wrote all those 50 word wee fuckers in numerous genres and styles, and tropes and ideas, all of them about the same two guys" lmao as a reader, i would much prefer to come across microfics and drabbles on tumblr than crammed into one work on ao3, so that makes sense to me.

the other three are T rated, short, and on top of that one of them is femslash too! (truly the holy trifecta of nopes, let's be honest there). so, really. this is unsurprising all around.

it's interesting though, because i'm a curious cat, and i couldn't help compare this to my stats by kudos — do keep in mind i never open my statistics page so looking at it to make this post was really cool! i notice that while i understand why none of these have more hits, they're pieces i quite like, personally. they're nowhere near my favourite things i've ever written, but they're stuff i think it's decent. i think they're alright.

on the other side of that though, are my kudos. when i sort by kudos, both sets of microfics are still on that bottom 5, which again, makes sense. BUT very different fics join those at the bottom of the list. interestingly, the other three fics are quite possibly my least favourite things i've written, the ones i keep on ao3 for the sake of archival but secretly pray no one ever reads! they are a lot higher hit-wise than the ones on the list above (E rated, generally quite porny though the writing/tropes/pairings are rather questionable), but they're at the bottom kudos-wise, which is a fun revelation! maybe it means my own judgement isn't that clouded and that readers and i agree when stuff is a bit... you know, shit. LOL

i find it really fun to look at this kind of thing. i do think the whole point of the game was sharing our less-loved stuff in way of reccommending it/getting it more love, and i ended up just analysing the statistics page. i do enjoy all of these, and none of them are shit, but if you were gonna pick any, for the love of god, read Liturgia Horarum.

can't think of who to tag, but if you haven't done it and you have read all my stupid rambling, you should do it and tag me on it so i can look, thank you <3

#this is probably riddled with typos i do apologise #if you click on the read more i also apologise #it is just me talking to myself about stats #i never look at those so it was a bit of a WHAAAAAT kind of moment #also smaller fandoms are INSANE #was definitely convinced my aftg fic would be on this list #but no #despite being up for less than two weeks #both have surpassed many of my hp fics lmao #anyway i will shush now #tag game #m babbles

[icharchivist]

The thing is that i can be loud about my feelings UNLESS those feelings are embarassing to me, which means, especially character crushes

I dont even know if most people know i crush on Chikage hard because i barely talk about Chikage on main despite him setting my brain and heart on fire

Meanwhile i made friend with a Chikage Japanese Artist who often posts Chikaizu and everytime it happens i get super flustered. And since i send them my thoughts about it and it's a fellow selfshipping Chikastan i can sometimes get unhinged about my messages

Literally yesterday i was writing them that their art made me imagine holding Chikage's hand and i was a blushing crying mess the whole comment because i could barely process past this imagery. And it's the second time said artist does that to me.

My Chika crying is limited to That One Artist who specifically feeds on stuff in my head to make me cry. That's where im at mentally speaking.

#this is one of three reasons i never talk about chikage #another reason is bc the stuff chika huts me hard on are ways too personal so i dont talk about them as comfortably #as others thematic i can somewhat distance myself from a bit #and the third one is just thay im still reeling from the time people were usually unnice about him 😔 #so yeah anyway this is a sneak peek in my sobbing crushjng mind #ichatalks about a3 #i am up too early so now i dont have the self preservation to not babble on main. #making it everyone's problems #BUT GENUINELY THOUGH IT DOES MAKE ME SAD #im sure people associate me with hiso and winter a lot by design bc i talk about them a lot #but because of this combo bullshit i dont know if people know im totally always thinking about chikage #which is both good (being unknowable :)) and sad (being unknowable :()