#anyway it's been months since I giffed it and I really wanted to post it <3

[hyuckiefluff]

drunk in you | mark lee

pairing: mark lee x fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers word count: 1.9k ish warnings: alcohol consumption, cursing, suggestive language, reader is down bad for mark (aren’t we all), implications of drunk sex summary: was Mark Lee’s new haircut really the drop that would tip the glass over and make you spill how you really feel about him?… Well, the haircut and also the alcohol. author's note: i’m backk!! srry for disappearing for *checks calendar* two months lol this has been sitting in my drafts since mark cut his hair aaand i wanted to post it for his bday so let’s pretend im not 3 days late! HAPPY BDAY MARKIEEE <33 it’s a bit short cuz i felt like i’d have to make a second part if i wanted to add smut to yknow fully get into it lol idk but consider this a little teaser and if it doesn’t flop I’ll post a second part :)

part 2

A sudden burst of bright light pierced through your closed eyelids, jolting you awake from the deep sleep you were in. As you gradually became aware of your surroundings, you couldn't ignore the soreness in your muscles and the strange stickiness between your legs. However, it was the foreign hand resting right on top of your ass that sent alarm bells ringing through your mind. Your eyes shot open, and regret instantly washed over you as a pulsating pain hammered at your head.

"What the fuck..." you groaned, attempting to focus your blurry vision and make sense of the situation. Upon looking around, you realized that you were in the guys' dorm, more specifically, in Mark's room...

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks.

If you were in Mark's room, then that hand... and the body it belonged to, had to be...

Oh my god, what happened last night?

8 hours earlier…

Drinking with your friends after a grueling week at uni wasn't anything out of the ordinary for you. In fact, it'd be weirder if you were cooped up at home worrying about midterm grades instead of laughing your head off at whatever Jeno just blurted out. First sign that you were drunk, the boy wasn’t even that funny. His neck and ears were flushed crimson, a clear sign that he, too, had indulged in one too many drinks. And there was Jisung, practically glued to Jeno's side, oozing a whole lot of gooey affection that he would vehemently deny once he sobered up. 

Renjun and Haechan were locked in a heated argument on the floor, their voices rising in the air over some trivial matter that would probably be forgotten by morning. Surprisingly, though, they seemed to be the least intoxicated among you. 

Meanwhile, Jaemin was frantically rummaging through the kitchen, his frustrated groans and curses echoing throughout the room. It was clear that his search for more alcohol was proving to be a fruitless endeavor.

Beside you, Chenle was on his phone, engrossed in a replay of the Warriors game. At first glance he doesn’t look drunk, but you knew better. If he were truly sober, he'd be shouting and cursing at his phone screen, venting his frustrations as his beloved team struggled to keep up. Instead, he was lazily sipping from his nearly empty cup while his glossed over eyes remained glued to the screen.

Mark Lee was the only one missing from the group. You sent him a few voice messages letting him know that if he didn’t arrive in the next 10 minutes you would eat his portion of the kimchi jiggae you’d ordered earlier. He responded within seconds with a funny GIF that showed a man running and tripping.

Mark stumbled through the door just a few minutes later. He was soaked from head to toe, his hoodie covering most of his head. He was panting and his shoes were muddy and wet, he got rid of them in the entrance and looked up, clearly out of breath.  But you were already stuffing your face with his food anyways. Whoops. 

Though as soon as he pulled down the hood a chunk of food went down the wrong pipe. You coughed uncontrollably, your chest heaving as you desperately tried to regain your breath.

"Dude!! Are you seriously eating my food?" he exclaimed.

But when he noticed your struggling state, his words trailed off, replaced by genuine worry. "Yo, are you good?" he asked, walking closer to you and patting you in the back.

You managed to nod weakly, staring up at him. 

"Why’re you so late? Oh, new haircut?" Haechan chimed in from the floor.

"Yeah... what's the verdict?" Mark asked, turning his head to the side to better show off the lines of his undercut, his gaze lingering on you. 

So many thoughts raced through your mind but you were unable to form a single word. Mark had had long hair for quite some time now, and it was you who had encouraged him to let it grow. You enjoyed styling it, braiding it, and adorning it with charms—Mark gave you the freedom to do whatever you pleased with his hair. You had grown fond of his long hair, especially after helping nurse it back to health from the damage caused by bleaching and dyeing. Yet now he was sporting short hair and an undercut with edgy designs on the side, and you couldn't help but openly ogle at him. 

He looked hot as fuck.

It’s true that you harbored feelings for Mark that went beyond friendship but you were always able to hide it well and it worked out better this way for both of you (or that’s what you liked to believe). Needless to say you liked him a lot and had for a while so the sight of his new look had sent your emotions spiraling. He showed up merely minutes ago and you already felt so weak at the knees and your brain was fuzzy even though you hadn’t drank that much yet.

"Don't like it," you muttered, hoping your words would deflect attention from the clear shift in your expression. Turning around, you sought refuge on the couch next to Chenle, placing the bowl of food aside. Your stomach was turning weirdly, making it impossible to swallow another bite.

You scolded yourself inwardly for being so dramatic. It was just a haircut. But, god, he looked so good.

In an attempt to calm yourself down, you chugged your cup with soju and let out a big groan after emptying it. The sound catching Chenle’s attention as he peered curiously from his phone. You offered him a closed-lip smile, prompting an intrigued eyebrow raise from him.

Mark was awkwardly standing on the same spot. He was a bit taken aback by your sudden coldness. He definitely picked up on your strange reaction the moment he walked through the door. But he brushed it off.

"Okaay… Well I was late 'cause I was getting the good stuff," Mark explained, his frown replaced by a grin as he pulled out a beer from the bags he was carrying.

"Let's goooo!" Jaemin yelled, returning from the kitchen right on cue as if he some sort of alcohol detector. He eagerly snatched the bags from Mark and made a kissy face to the boy.

The tension eased a bit with Jaemin's infectious enthusiasm, and you decided to not focus on whatever Mark was making you feel right now. The drinks were here, and the good times were about to roll. You made a mental note to sort out your feelings later.

~

Alcohol definitely did not make your situation better. The more you drank the harder it was to keep your thoughts at bay. Mark was now sitting on the single couch in front of you and every little expression or movement he made had you either biting your lip or pressing your thighs together.

Talking about thighs… the shorts he was wearing displayed his muscular legs in a way that was making it quite impossible for you to not devour them with your eyes. God, your brain had turned into that of a hormonal teenage boy. Were you seriously staring at his thighs and imagining how it would feel to ride them?

Haechan came over to you and filled your glass with more Soju. You downed it as soon as he was done pouring it, earning you a weird look from Chenle who had been eyeing you ever since Mark arrived. 

"Okay, what's with you?" Chenle mumbled, the words escaping his lips just loudly enough to capture everyone's attention. Considering you had the noisiest group of friends, all eyes turned your way, including Mark's.

Mark seemed to be getting tipsy; you could tell by the way his big, expressive eyes shimmered even more than usual and the faint blush that adorned his cheeks and neck.

"Hmm?" you managed to reply, your gaze still fixated somewhere on Mark's face. You were completely unaware of the intense amount of attention you were giving him, but Chenle, who was relatively more sober than both of you, picked up on it.

"You're literally looking at Mark like you want to eat him," Chenle chuckled, teasingly calling you out.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Renjun asked, suddenly intrigued by the topic.

"I am?" you replied, sounding genuinely confused, though your heart raced with thoughts you were about to voice out loud. "Uhm… yeah I kinda do..."

An audible gasp followed, and you knew without looking that it came from Haechan.

Mark's expression remained unreadable, his half-lidded eyes locked on yours, revealing no discernible emotions. Was he weirded out? Normally, you might have felt self-conscious about blurting out something like that, but alcohol had significantly lowered your inhibitions.

"That's a wild thing to say," Haechan interjected with a mix of shock and amusement. "Do you actually wanna tap that?" He pointed at Mark, who was still gazing at you.

"Very much so," you replied nonchalantly, as if discussing the weather, even though you were openly talking about hooking up with your best friend in front of all your other best friends.

"Why don't you come here then?" Mark's words caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but notice the way he shifted, his legs spread invitingly.

You burst into laughter assuming he was only joking to tease you. However, the lack of a reaction from him made you realize he was dead serious. Your eyes locked on his own, reflecting the same desire you had been giving him just moments ago.

The idea of getting up and walking to him, straddling his lap, and kissing him flashed through your mind.

But the moment was interrupted by a voice that snapped both of you out of your trance. "Gross!" Jisung whined, hiding his face in Jeno's back, the older one lazily laughing and patting Jisung's thigh. "Okay, c'mon, I think we've all had enough to drink," he declared, getting up, with Jisung clinging to him. Chenle follow suit also giving you two a slightly disgusted stare.

"Yeah, one more drink for me, and I'm afraid the kimchi jiggae I had earlier might end up all over the carpet," Haechan chimed in, rubbing his stomach before disappearing upstairs.

Renjun also stood up and playfully messed up Mark's hair while saying, "By the way, happy birthday."

You glanced at the table clock and realized it was already 12:01. You had been so excited about Mark's birthday earlier in the day, but the alcohol and the tension between the two of you made you totally forget about it. Gathering your courage, you approached him. He remained sprawled with his legs out, but now he looked up at you, his lips slightly wet, distracting you momentarily.

"Happy birthday, silly," you smiled and awkwardly patted his head, hoping he didn't notice how you pressed your thighs together, trying to ease the uncomfortable ache between your legs.

"What did you get me?" he suddenly asked, and you blinked a few times, your brain struggling to register the extremely flirtatious tone he used.

When you didn't respond immediately, he continued, "Because I can think of one thing I want the most right now," lightly grazing your leg with his hand. You didn't flinch or move away.

"R-really? What is it?" you found yourself stuttering, a reaction that would have made you cringe if you were more sober.

"Come here, and I'll show you," he smirked and with little protest from you, he pulled you onto his lap.

a/n: i have a smut scene ready for this (well it’s in my brain but I’ll squeeze it out if u guys want that second part) soooo comment or simply like this so i know the audience wants it

also yes i did change the title of this but pls disregard that lol

© hyuckiefluff

part 2

#nct dream x reader #nct x reader #nct dream imagines #nct dream fic #nct dream scenario #nct imagines #nct smut #nct mark #mark lee #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #nct moodboard #mark lee x you #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct dream drabbles #mark lee imagines #mark lee fic

[scarletwinterxx]

loving you is easy - mark lee imagine

hiiiii, 127 cb i have been summoned😅 for the past few weeks i've been inactive on all socmeds, sorry for the very few and slow posts. anyways, let's talk Fact Check haha what's your fave track? i think mine's Parade. the vocals in that one is soooo good.

So yeah i hope you like this one, i'll be back when I can💛🌻

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"It's one plane ride away, I'll be there in 3 months"

"That's 3 months too long" he grumbles, still pouting as he zips the last of his luggage. Mark hated being away for you, too many days and nights your time zone's don't line up. By the time it's morning for you, he'll be saying goodnight.

But now, things are about to change. This will be the last time you're saying goodbye to him for a long time but he doesn't know that. For now it's your little secret.

"It'll fly by fast, just like every other time. Now come here and give me cuddles, stop pouting like a kid" you tease him, opening your arms to welcome him.

Feeling his arms go around you, you further confirmed a fact you've known for years. The two of you can be continents away from each other, but your heart will always stay with one another. Mark really has become your home and in his arms are where you feel the safest and most loved.

"If you're sad then it's gonna make me sad, I don't want the last night to be all tears" you tell him, feeling his embrace tighten against you. He kisses the top of your head a few times before letting you go.

"You're right, sorry. No more sulking, it's just 3 months then you'll come to me" he smiles at you, the cute little dimple you love so much appearing on his cheek. You stand on your tiptoe to kiss it, savoring the warmth of him against your lips.

And you were right, the 3 months did fly by fast. Mainly because you were busy packing your apartment to move to another continent. You didn't keep much apart from your stuff and some of Mark's. It's kind of hard to travel with everything so you got rid of what you can.

The only person who knew you were coming was Johnny, who is currently waiting for you at the airport. Easily spotting the 6 foot Chicago guy from a distance.

"There she is! About time you got here, I don't think I can take another day of Mark whining about how much he misses you" he jokes, giving you a quick hug and taking your stuff to carry it himself.

"He doesn't know I'm coming, I'm suppose to fly out this weekend" you tell him while following behind

"Oh believe me I know, he won't let us forget"

You chuckle at his story, just thinking about surprising Mark makes you grin.

He dropped you off at Mark's apartment, you're familiar with the place since you've stayed here every time you fly over. What he doesn't know is you're here to stay with him for good.

It did took a lot of courage to make this decision but you didn't doubt it for a second. You know there's no other place you'd rather call home than where he is.

For a couple of hours you rested, cleaned the few dishes on the sink and picked up the towel he threw on the floor. A habit you knew he had, you've had that talk with him more than a few times and he always promises he won't do it again. You let him off the hook, for now.

You were in the bedroom when you hear someone by the door. Mark entered his place, tired from the whole day of work to notice the other pair of shoes by the door.

He threw his bag by the couch, along with his coat. He then walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, resting against the counter while he drinks and take a moment to look around.

This time he notices the dishes he was suppose to do this morning was gone. He brushed it off thinking he must've just forgotten he already did it. He then walked to the bedroom, the first thing he noticed was the towel that he definitely threw by the bed this morning. He remembers it because he's been thinking about it all day and how you'll be mad if you found out he threw it on the floor yet again.

He looks around, checking to see anything missing or different just in case someone broke in. But who would clean up if they're here to steal, he thoughts.

Mark then walks towards the bathroom to check, nothing there too so he walks back the bedroom. Just when he was about to go outside, you jumped out of your hiding spot to surprise him

"SURPRISE!"

"WHAT THE F- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" you didn't even get the chance to walk towards him because he's already running to you. Picking you up in an embrace.

"Is this for real or am I dreaming?" you hear him mumble

You giggle, patting him on the back so he could put you down. "This is real silly. I'm really here" you tell him.

He grabs you by the face and kisses you. As his lips lands on yours, he knew this was really real. You're actually here with him.

You can feel him smile against your lips, tilting your head to the side to kiss him deeper. Too many days wish he was with you, now he's here and you're not going to let go that easily.

He walks backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed. Landing on it gently with you still in his arms. You straddle his legs while the two of you get lost in each others kisses.

"Okay okay wait a sec" you giggle, pushing your lover away gently. Mark follows your lips though, kissing you a few more times before he lets you go but not too far.

"When did you get here?" he asks you

"Today, Johnny picked me up at the airport so I could surprise you" you tell him, your hands intertwine around his shoulders.

"I could've come and pick you up" he pouts.

Oh your sweet sweet boy.

You smile at him, rubbing your nose against his. Feeling like you're on cloud nine now that you're back together.

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise" you tell him, speaking of surprise you can't wait to see his reaction once you tell him your news.

"How long are you staying? I can take a few days off so we can go out" he tells you excitedly.

For you he would do just about anything. He can put his world on pause, stop everything for you.

"About that..."

"What? You can't stay that long?" he asks, already feeling sad but he tries not to let you see it.

"Actually, I'm not gonna go back" you tell him, not sure how to break the news to him either

"Huh?"

"Surprise number 2 I guess, I wanted to tell you for months now but I waited until everything is settled. So yeah. I'm here to stay, that is if you're looking for a roommate?" you ask

Mark didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, your words still processing in his mind.

"You mean you're staying here, with me ? Here? and you're not going to fly back? You're staying with me?"

You can't help but laugh lightly at him, pulling him closer once again to kiss him

"I'm gonna stay right here" you whisper, looking straight into his eyes.

"But what about your work? your friends? I can't ask you to leave your life there"

"Baby you're not asking me, I want to. I have friends here too, I can call my friends there and we can visit them. Plus you're my bestfriend. As for work, it just so happened they were looking for someone to relocate here to Korea. It was like fate wanted me to be here"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to give up everything, I don't mind the flights-"

"You do, I do. We both do. We just never said it outloud because we didn't want to be sad, but all I can think of when you're not around is how much I want to be with you. To be honest it's harder for me to be there than moving here where I know I could be with you"

He looks at you, trying to find the words to say

"Are you really really sure?" he asks again

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. So you're stuck with me, for good" you tease a smile out of him

"It's hard for me too. It's the hardest when I'm so tired and I come back here and all I can think of is how much I want to come home to you. Every flight away from you was never easy"

"I know"

"So I guess this is your anniversary present?" he jokingly asks, you get off of his lap to stand up.

"It'll be hard to top this one" you joke

"I can just ask you to marry me" he says ever so casually, not missing how your cheeks reddened. You hit him lightly making your boyfriend laugh

"Hey, that's not fair"

"You're the one who's stuck me, you know I'm never letting you go now?"

"Good, cause I'm not going anywhere. Here's to 7 more years"

He smile at you before standing up to hug you again,

As you stare at each other eyes you can't help but feel this warm sensation in your chest. You really are home.

"I read somewhere that our cells change every 7 years or so" you mumble, he hums waiting for you to continue

"It's been 7 years since we first met, and until now I still feel the same way about you. I want every cell in my body to know what it feels like to love you, I want it to never forget how warm and lovely it feels it be in love with you. 7 years from now, 14 years and until the last cycle of this life, I want all of me to love all of you"

He stares at you, soaking each word coming out of your lips like a spell enchanting him. Making him fall even deeper in love with you.

"You know they say love isn't easy, but loving you is easy. It's like it's the only thing my heart and soul was made for. Every thought in my head, awake or even in my dreams, is always you" he tells you.

You can feel the tears starting to build up from too much happiness you're feeling right now.

"Wanna hear something crazy?" you mumble

"Do tell" he chuckles

"If you ask me to marry you right now, I'd say yes"

He smiles at you before closing the distance once again, like he just sealed a promise. Speaking a silent vow to make that come true, maybe tonight or tomorrow or 7 days/months from now. All he knows is he will live this life with you.

#story #tags #fic #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct mark #nct imagine #nct fluff #nct boyfriend #nct scenario #nct oneshot #nct fic #nct au #nct recommended #mark lee #mark lee imagine #mark lee scenario #mark lee oneshot #mark lee fluff #mark lee boyfriend #mark lee au

[leaentries]

Bad day

luke hughes x chubby!reader

a/n- hey y’all! so guess who’s not dead 😋 i’m so so sorry i’ve been so inactive this past month! i’ve been dealing with college starting back up and my new job. but now that i’m back to semi-normal schedule, im hoping to start posting more! so please don’t be afraid to send in any thoughts or requests you may have! also, im so sorry if this is shit, i didn’t really know where i was going when i started writing. i just wanted to get something out for y’all to read😭

p.s- gif is not mine, credits to the owner!!

some days truly never seemed to end.

even though it was only a wednesday, the bleakness of the sky and air ruined every seemingly good thing coming y/n’s way. her day started off great. waking up next to her boyfriend who gave her plenty of good morning sleepy kisses and “i love you’s.” luke even went the extra mile and warmed up her morning shower, paired with a fresh towel straight out of the dryer.

as she stepped into the shower, she felt confident that she was going to have a fantastic day. her classes were easy on wednesday and only lasted till early afternoon. although she knew that luke would be gone for practice by the time she returned home, she was excited to lounge around and be lazy for the day.

only, her day took a turn for the worst.

walking to her first class of the day, the coffee she held in her hand, that luke put so much effort into, somehow managed to slip from her grasp. the cup went tumbling into the pavement, leaving ugly light brown splotches in its wake. frustrated, she picked up the soaked cardboard.

y/n took a deep breath and quickly disposed of the cup, before continuing her journey to class. even though she felt bad for wasting the coffee, she was still set on having a great day. her class went by decently fast, ending when the professor decided to go on a tangent about his recent disk golf tournament.

on wednesdays she only had two classes, her next one being the longest. sitting down for her next lecture, she noticed the thigh portion of her jeans had begun to rip. y/n couldn’t help the feeling of dread that filled her body. those were her favorite jeans and the store in which she bought them, had discontinued this style.

sighing, she placed her head down on her arms. she decided to close her eyes, since she got to class early anyways. what seemed to be a few seconds, quickly turned into her feeling a jab to her side. she lifted her head, eyes squinting due to the bright lights. she looked over to her desk partner. julie looked back with concerned eyes.

“dude, are you okay?”

puzzled, y/n replied, “yeah….why?”

“you just slept through the entire lecture. which, by the way, prof decided to assign some stupid essay on. he said it’s gonna be due friday.”

with wide eyes, y/n stared at the clock on the wall.

i slept through the whole thing?

hitting her like a train, she turned back to julie.

“wait wait wait. an essay? shit, i don’t even know what he talked about today.”

worry gripped her like a vice. how the hell was she ever gonna get an essay done about a lecture she didn’t even listen to? there goes her plan on being lazy for the rest of the day.

“don’t worry, i got you girl. i made sure to take some major notes for you.” julie handed y/n the purple notebook, “just make sure to bring it to class on friday.” with that, julie gathered her things and left the classroom.

still stuck on the fact that she slept through the entire lecture, y/n slowly began to pack up and make her way home. rushing to her car, she made the drive as fast as possible.

not to her surprise, she was greeted with an empty apartment. she would normally be a little sad at this, but she took it with grace. the quiet will give her time to go over julie’s notes and start her essay.

❥.

by the time luke found his way through the door, it was easily past six.

“angel?” luke called into the open apartment. “y/n?” he called again. when he still received no response he walked to their shared bedroom, only to find her hunched over a desk with headphones in her ears.

he walked up to stand behind her, gently placing his hands on her shoulders and a kiss to the top of her head. her body jumped slightly, startled at the sudden touch.

“what the fuck, lukey?” she turned to him.

“awww, im sorry baby.” luke responded, chuckling slightly.

though his smile began to fall from his face when he saw the deep line of worry and distress around her eyebrows. luke felt his own furrow.

“what’s wrong, angel?” luke felt his own worry begin to set in. he could have sworn she was in a great mood this morning, recalling when she told him her plans for the day.

frustrated tears began to fill her eyes, “today has just utterly been shit. first, i spilt the coffee you spent so much time making me. then, i fell asleep durning my lecture and missed the entire thing. and to top it all off, my professor decided to assign an essay on said lecture. so now i’m having to bullshit this assignment, which means i’ll probably get a horrible grade.”

by the end of her rant, hot tears found their way from her eyes and down her cheeks. luke’s hands quickly reached to wipe them away.

“don’t cry, pretty girl. it’s okay.” luke said in a hushed voice. he swiveled the chair around, crouching to look up at her down casted face. he placed his hands on her plushy thighs, not failing to appreciate the warmth they radiated under his palms.

“hey, hey. look at me, y/n” at the sound of her name, she tilted her head up slightly, meeting his concerned filled eyes.

“you did nothing wrong. that coffee took me all of about 30 seconds to make and i can help you with your essay. i promise you, you are doing great, baby. you’ll do fine on this essay and it sounds to me like you needed the sleep anyways.” his hand reached to cradle her damp, round cheek.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know why i’m upset. it’s not like anything horrible happened. it-it’s just today was supposed to be so good. a-and,” a small sob cut through the air. taking a deep breath she continued, “and i’ve been doing this essay for the past 4 hours. i feel like i’m getting no where.”

luke’s heart hurt at the sight of his girlfriend so drained. it was a complete 180 from the cheerful attitude she had that morning. he slowly stood up, reaching over to close her laptop. she opened her mouth in protest, but was quickly cut off. “before you try and stop me, you need a break, sweetheart. you’ve made plenty of progress on your essay for today. come lay down with me. we can call in some take out and watch a movie.”

luke’s eyes gazed pleadingly into her own.

“but what if i can’t get it finished by tomorrow? it’s due at the beginning of class friday.” luke was fast to ease her worry, “i promise i will help you finish it tomorrow. i don’t have practice, so we can spend the whole day making this essay a+ material. now, go change and meet me in the living room.”

with a smile and another kiss to her head, luke walked out of the bedroom. attempting to brush off the last thoughts of her essay, y/n got up and walked to the closet. she grabbed a pair of sweats and one of luke’s big sweatshirts. putting it on reminded her of how thoughtful he is, always making sure to get them a size bigger so they’ll be extra oversized.

she smiled as the scent of his cologne filled her nose.

now completely changed, she walked out, only to be met with what seemed to be every blanket in the house set up on the couch. next to it laid plenty of her favorite snacks, along with her favorite drinks. with wide eyes, she turned to meet luke’s nervous form.

“w-what’s all this?” she gestured toward the couch. luke walked up to her, placing his hands on her full hips.

“i just wanted to do something for you, make your day a bit better. do you like it?” luke’s eyes were hopeful.

“of course, i love it.” she looked up at luke’s face, “thank you. for everything.” luke flashed his beaming grin.

“anything for you, angel,” he whispered. luke leaned down to press his lips into her soft ones. his hands pulled her hips to meet his, deepening the kiss. y/n found her own hands finding home in the curls on the nape of his neck. she gripped his hair, slightly pulling at the intensity. luke’s light groans filled the apartment.

forcing themselves apart, y/n placed her hands on luke’s shoulders as he tried to chase her lips. a whine escaped his throat, “whyyy? i want to kiss you.” a laugh bubbled out of her mouth, bringing a smile to luke’s face.

“as much as i would love to keep kissing you, i want to go lay down. and that movie isn’t going to watch itself.” with this, luke took liberty of going to lay across the couch first, opening his arms to welcome y/n into them. she didn’t hesitate to find comfort in his arms, laying her head on his chest.

luke grabbed one of the many blankets, covering them both. he placed his chin on the top of her head, grabbing the remote lying next to him.

“alright angel, what do you want to watch?”

#luke hughes x chubby!reader #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #luke hughes headcanons #nhl x reader #umich hockey x chubby!reader #umich hockey x reader #luke hughes oneshot #luke hughes imagine #leawrites🍀

[uptondixon]

Daryl & Daugther!Reader - Quarry Era II

Had this in my drafts for ages. I started writing and never finished, but I decided to post anyway. Thank you for all the love on Part 1! I'm sorry I'm not much of a writer to keep this storyline going :( Words: 1591 Warnings: Nightmares Gif not mine Chapter song is Fix You by Coldplay

Part I

"And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace."

It's been a while since the three of them started the walk back to camp, which was proving to be especially hard for the girl. After the adrenaline went off, the pain on her feet and legs were becoming almost unbearable. With each step she got slower and felt weaker. A headache making its way over her head, probably a mix of pain, hunger and lack of sleep.

Before heading back to camp Daryl offered her water, which she accepted desperately. Even though she was happy the thirst was over, her growling stomach didn't let her forget the days without anything to eat. She didn't mention that, already thankful for the water. However, the girl's skinny body gave Daryl an idea of how hungry she must be.

Daryl and Merle didn't hunt anything, both too focused on the deer, so he made a mental note to feed her as soon as they got to camp. Daryl also tried to take a better look at her wounds, but she didn't let him. He didn't push and decided this was a job for Lori or Carol. They were the mothers of the group and the girl would feel safe with them, he thought.

"She's slowing us down man, if we don't speed up we're going to lose sunlight. This girl is like a damn walker bait. Hell, I can smell her blood from here." Merle complained again.

"I get it Merle! Stop whining alrigh?" Daryl said before approaching the kid. 

She had been trailing behind them the whole time, never sparing them a glance and looking almost ready to bolt in the opposite direction at any moment. All of a sudden, Daryl realized that they didn't know her name.

"What's yer name kid?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Y/n." She said, voice almost a whisper.

"Alrigh', Y/n. Look, someone has to check yer wounds and for that we need to get to the camp but ya can barely walk…" Y/n knew he was right. She was scared to let him do anything with her wounds, afraid it would make it hurt even more. But the girl knew that it would only get worse if they didn't get there faster.

"What if I carry ya?" Daryl proposed. "We'll get to the folks faster and everything's gonna be okay." Daryl looked at her expectantly, while Merle was still mumbling some nonsense he chose to again ignore.

Y/n pounded for a moment. She didn't know this guy, even though he seemed to be making an effort to at least make her feel less scared. The same couldn't be said about the other guy, his brother. Even with Daryl's effort, she wasn't sure if trusting him was the right decision. However, it's not like she had any other choice at the moment.

Y/n looked up at Daryl and nodded her head. He handed his crossbow to Merle and picked the girl up. She felt so light and Daryl couldn't help but wonder how long she was alone out there, without food and water.

Y/n wrapped one of her arms around Daryl's neck, looking for something to hold on to. It was weird, how she didn't even know this man but felt safe in his arms. After being alone for months, she really wanted to believe someone good was going to help her.

Daryl arranged the girl in his arms and resumed their walking, Merle leading the way with Daryl's crossbow, aware of any danger.

They arrived at the camp a couple hours later and Daryl came in calling for the first person he saw, which in that case was Lori. "Daryl, oh my god??? Who is that?"

Daryl immediately felt Y/n's arms wrap harder around him. "It's fine kid, don't worry."

"We found her in the woods, alone and hurt."

Minutes later, the whole camp was reunited outside the RV while Lori and Carol were inside with Y/n. The girl felt more at ease with them, like Daryl imagined. But she was still unsure about everything and everyone.

After they treated her wounds and helped her clean up, Daryl brought some of the squirrel from his last hunt along with more food from the camp. Being clean and fed, it was like Y/n could finally think straight again.

Yours later, everyone started to retreat to their tents for the night. Inside the RV, Y/n tried to stay awake, her brain still on alert for some reason. But after a while her body started to give up and she fell asleep to the sounds of the dying conversation outside.

“It will be okay my baby, just run and don’t look back, okay?”

“But mom, what about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you, go!” The little girl ran, but she couldn't help looking back. However, when she did, it made sense why her mother told her not to.

Screams, that’s what Daryl woke up to. He jumped out of his tent and saw Shane, Glenn and Dale outside the RV. “What the hell happened?”

“It 's Y/n.” Shane said “Lori is-” As if on cue, Lori leaves the RV. And to everyone's surprise, she smiled at Daryl.

“She’s asking for you, Daryl.” Daryl looked at Lori as if she had grown another head but entered the RV anyway.

“Hey kid, what's up?” Y/n was sitting in bed, death grip on the blanket and scared look on her face.

“I miss my mom” Daryl didn't know what to say, he didn't understand why she would want him there of all people. “Could you stay here until I fall back asleep?”

To be honest, Y/n didn't want to sleep, not if that meant another nightmare, but her body didn't give her any choice. Daryl saved her, his presence made her feel safe, so maybe he could help the bad dreams go away. Daryl was still confused, but he simply sat down in the chair close to the door and nodded his head, watching as the girl laid down, closing her eyes and falling asleep once again.

The first week went by smoothly, Y/n couldn't think about anything other than sleep. Her body begging for rest in order to heal. She didn't talk much, still overwhelmed with the new environment and everything that happened, but slowly feeling more at ease with everyone. Amy was the one to bring her food the days she stayed in bed. Lori or Carol would brush her long hair after she washed up. Glenn and Dale would make her laugh with silly jokes. Andrea and Jacqui would help change her bandages. Daryl would always check on her at the end of the day. He didn't say much, only put his head inside the RV, saw her asleep and then went to his tent.

The second week was better, she was stronger and more active. However, the nightmares still hunted her at night. Since Y/n got in the camp, Carl and Sophia were anxious to talk with her. But she was weak and scared so the adults held them back. When she started feeling better, spending her days sitting in the staircase of the RV and watching the camp, Carl approached her. With everything that happened Y/n didn't really had the time to think about the other kids at camp. She knew Sophia was Carol's daugther and Carl was Lori's, but they never talked and she suddently felt nervous. It's been ages since she last talked with someone her age.

"Hi, I'm Carl. You're Y/n, right?"

"Yeah.." Y/n smiled awkwardly.

"Shane's going to teach me how to grab frogs, you wanna come too?"

Y/n apreciated the invitation but she couldn't help but ask "Why would you want to grab frogs?"

Carl seemed like he wasn't expecting the question but answered anyway "Well, it's just funny, they jump so high trying to run away" he said with a little laugh "But we release them right after, Shane says they probably taste really bad to eat."

Y/n was the one ot laugh this time, for sure she wouldn't want to eat a frog.

"Okay, it seems fun" Y/n said looking at the boy in front of her.

"Yes! It's going to be really fun, I'll tell Shane you're coming" Y/n laughed again seeing the boy excitement, she couldn't help but feel it too. After the last stressful weeks, it was good to have some distraction.

Y/n met Sophia a couple nights after her frong hunt with Carl and Shane. The camp was having dinner and since she started feeling better, she started to have dinner outside with the others. The first night she went straight to Daryl, he and Merle sitting around a fire further from the main camp. In the short time Y/n was there she could notice how they differed from the rest of the camp. Her, as well, felt unsure, not of Daryl but his brother. The first night she left the RV and went to Daryl, Merle looked at her they same way he looked at her back in the woods. Like she was an walker bait. Daryl didn't showed much affection towards her, at least not in clear eyes. But he silently made sure she was fed and safe every single day, most of the others from the camp would not notice most of the time, but he did and Y/n knew it.

Taglist: @justmare

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x daughter reader #daryl dixon x daughter reader #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction

[kayluh1915]

psssst, disclaimer…

@swiftllama: *texts me with no context* EVERY BTS THEY GET GAYER AND GAYER

Me after watching said BTS:

It's Ianthony moment breakdown time, BBY!

I know I've been gone for a while but I've really been going through it, y'all. I want to post more from here on out, but I can't make any promises. Executive disfunction and ADHD paralysis sssuuuccckkkkssss.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled screamings!

Also, this is from a members only video. If you can, please support Ian and Anthony directly. I do not share content outside of small Ianthony moments like these.

The noise that came out of my mouth was not human in anyway, shape, or form! Anthony has carried Ian like this before, but it was before his departure. Back then they were really stiff and awkward with each other since their friendship was strained, as they have mentioned several times. Now they're super close and don't give a flying fuck and MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!

Sam has been keeping me up to date with everything and I just can't believe the timeline we're in. Everything else might be shit, but at least Ian and Anthony are back together and give us moments like these on the weekly! 😭They keep me sane.

ANYWAYS, I made some gifs of the moment because AHHHH and I'm going to break down the little moments that made my fandom heart flutter

Let's get to it!

Right off the bat, Ian very minorly freaks out when Anthony picks him up and immediately grips Anthony's arm. Logically, I know that anyone would grab onto the closest thing on instinct in this situation... but my Ianthony brain is screaming: "AWWW! ANTHONY MAKES HIM FEEL SAFE!!!!!!!"

Okay, my logic brain is calming down now because this gif just confirmed that Ian not only trusts Anthony whole heartedly but also FEELS SAFE! As soon as Anthony reassures him that he won't let him fall Ian relaxes and starts to let go of the death grip he has on Anthony's arm near the end of the gif.

Another demonstration of how much Ian trusts Anthony. He doesn't even flinch when he lifts him up and even has that face he makes that screams: "yeah yeah, we know Mr. Buff." after Anthony comments on how easy it is for him to hold Ian.

DUDE! The way Ian just goes limp after Anthony once again lets him know that he's got him. IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE and, again, is proof of how much he trusts him. He knows Anthony won't drop him and just decides to relax for a second, putting his full weight on Anthony's shoulders. I CANNOT! It's so intimate!!! Ian probably also took notes from Rhett's "I'm Dead" move he pulls on Link which I find hilarious.

Okay, this is my favorite one of this whole gifset. The way Anthony looks back at Ian to make sure he's still comfortable and then smiling to someone about it!?!? BRING AMBERLAMPS! MY HEART HAS STOPPED!

Damn, I needed these two in my life so badly right now. The fact that they pulled THIS SHIT just makes it so much better. I know they've said and done things more damning within the past few months, but I enjoy more intimate moments like these. Yeah, it's for a bit, but it shows just how much Anthony cares for Ian and how much Ian trusts him.

Lord have mercy, I need a nap after all of that. 😮‍💨

#kayla's ramblings #smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #because it's obvious???? #☀️🔍 #smoshblr #carrying #LORDY #I still need that nap

[ctinalk]

Season two isn’t (fully) real, it’s a peaceful, fragile existence

The more I rewatch the show and read different theories, the more convinced I get that S2 is some sort of elaborate dream sequence or a distraction or memory alteration attempt (Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic?). But not all of it.

(This gets kind of rambly so if you want my true hook, scroll down to the Michael Sheen Staged gif.)

Let me make this perfectly clear on the outset: I don’t think all of it is a dream, and I certainly don’t think the final 15/kiss is or is going to be discounted (and not only because there would be literal riots in the street, because there absolutely would be, but also I’m putting trust in Neil and the team wholeheartedly). I think that could actually be the domino that brings them out of it. I read somewhere recently something along the lines of “something loved can never be truly forgotten” and I think that fits my theory perfectly. I’m also making no claims (yet) as to what I think is real and what I think is “enhanced”.

Also I apparently am either too far deep or cannot work the tumblr search function with any modicum of usefulness, so please link me to the posts I’m alluding to if you think it’s the right one. I will edit them in and sincerely apologize to the brilliant minds that exist outside the confines of the search function.

Now, On with the show:

You can be in charge of the biscuits

Maggie and Nina: Look, I get that recasts happen, they change the actor playing the character because of scheduling conflicts, etc. But to cast the actor/actress that is immediately recognizable from a prior interaction (whether with the characters or the audience) is not something you see. FFS Maggie DIED in S1, and Nina was pivotal (maybe too strong a word, but enough to be memorable surely) to the storyline. It’s like someone said “Hey, they’ll work, bring em in, no I don’t care that they were in S1. It’ll be a test of how well our facade is working. If they (A&C) notice, then the gig is up and we’ll know it.”

Also why in the world is the owner of a coffee shop offering Eccles cakes to calm down, when camomile tea is right there? (Resists the urge to go off on a tangent on how Eccles cakes were used to celebrate the “Eccles wakes” at the feast of St. Mary (yes that Mary) and how that ties into the second coming plot.) Do Eccles cakes count as biscuits? Ugh another thought for another day I suppose.

It has come to my attention during writing that Shax is the same actress as Madame Tracy. I have less of an affront to this knowledge since I’m 2 months deep and countless rewatches in and only just noticed. But I’m going to pop it in this header anyway. Are you really trying to tell me that a show that apparently has demon entrances happening precisely on the 6s really didn’t think these choices out very deliberately? (Edit 3: https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/735823422626709504/the-secret-timeline-inside-of-good-omens-season-2 JFC why can I never find the blogs when I want to insert them? It was a breakdown about how all of the demon entrances happen at a 00:00 that ends in a 6.)

Yours very faithfully, Maggie

Text to mail disconnect: There’s been a theory pop up (at the time one writing this at least (edit 2: https://www.tumblr.com/azariah-z-fell/743434274903048192/it-is-extra-weird-because-it-is-on-the-record) that Maggie actually texted Aziraphale her request to talk, and it was magically translated into a physical form, and the spelling error (that so many people are shouting DEMON at) was just an autocorrect typo. But, surely Maggie would know he doesn’t text if she knew him for several years at least. We’ve never seen either of our boys text, only call. Seems like someone doesn’t know how phones work, but wanted to get the message received? See also: currency, below.

You ever think, what’s the point?

Numerous people have pointed out the same obvious background people. There are theories about the guy in the Hawaiian shirt being the second coming or something similar. I wonder if it’s some sort of play on a badly executed attempt to make Wickber Street seem “normal” in an alternate reality, an elaborate distraction, but they have to keep using the same character models because their imagination is just slightly better than Shadwells’ (Oh gfdi how did I miss Mrs. sandwich right there). I’m not saying we haven’t done a “oh oops silly me I forgot something” but that isn’t usually done in the middle of a sidewalk. When Aziraphale is initially talking to Jim with the blanket, there’s a guy just chugging his arms outside the window, not walking. Another one in E3 when Shax show up outside the shop, a guy in an orange sweatshirt passes in the background, then passes again, and not close enough in time/area to just be the continuation of the walk. Especially in the early episodes, there are veritable conveyer belts of people, straight lines, no trying to pass, etc. I’m trying to look at the background in S1 and while there are still tons of people, the background is… livelier. People passing, shoving past, actually going places.

“I’m looking at the statue of Gabriel.” “Oh, good job?”

Aziraphale basically learns fuck-all when he makes the trip to Edinburgh. Granted, I do believe most of that was to make the Bentley “our car”, but so many things are out of character. The no drink, the over-the-top “investigation” (as awkward as he is, Aziraphale knows how to act more normally than that with humans), the background on the drive up there…

All the others were taken (random collective thoughts)

Somehow ALL the businesses on the street are different from Season 1?

A normal person would have moved out of the rain instead of just lolling there letting raid splatter their glasses, yeah? (As a person with glasses I can confirm).

“We have all the hosts of hell searching for him” cue Crowley looking around like then why the fuck are there still demons around me?

The cross disappearing from the Gabriel statue between shots.

“I’m a bit out of miracles” and “that’s not how miracles work” from the guy who got written up for too many frivolous miracles.

I have here a sixpence and a farthing There’s always money in the banana stand

The lack of (accurate?) paid transactions seems like whoever is pulling the strings has no concept of earthly money and how it’s supposed to work, just that it exists. Crowley and Aziraphale talk bluntly about poverty and know that money is needed and used in current society (“Give her the money, Angel”, Rome, Globe Theatre, 1941 magic shop, etc.). Could be a “let’s not get lost in the trivialities” thing but it does strike me as odd. Caveat: Aziraphale forgiving the rent doesn’t quite fit, but cost of the record is obscenely low.

But this does give me hope about the 3rd 1941 flashback, because they were using money accurately there, which hopefully means the flashbacks and memories aren’t being altered, just “present day”.

We’re real people

One of the overarching themes in Season 2 (and S1 now I think of it) is “stop interfering in the lives of other people”. Maggie and Nina, Job, Elspeth, the entire dance party, Warlock, the book of prophecy. It would be a shame if someone were to make sure I failed to be messing about in their own lives.

I had brothers, you don’t scare me

Something happened just before Maggie told them to “Come in here and say that to my face.” Another demonic turn potential here, but also kind of like someone’s saying “FFS get on with the plot”.

The book of love has music in it

This post https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/731977308306636800/all-the-music-you-didnt-hear-the-good-omens (finally, one I can find!) popped up, and there’s another one that purports to have noticed that there’s music lines missing from the opening sequence (edit 1: Found it!: https://www.tumblr.com/dadesu/726651737165938688/anyone-noticed-the-missing-half-bar-in-good-omens ). Possibly Clueing us in that there’s something that’s missing elsewhere (I mean obviously, that’s the whole point of this season, is it not?).

So where do we go from here?

As much as I’d love to say “Alright so the kiss breaks the spell whoever was put over them because of ✨the power of love✨, the ruse will be revealed, and they’re not talking because they don’t have to”

I don’t know, my thoughts are just the overarching patterns I’ve noticed over many, many rewatches and probably reading a few too many magic trick theories and/or fanfics. I don’t intentionally make my theory posts open-ended, but in the end that’s the fun of it. Nothing has to be mutually exclusive (yes I’m referencing my “Is Crowley already the new Supreme Archangel” post, I think I’m allowed that much). I’m happy to be proven wrong, and probably will be.

Lots of things are wrong right now

But I will leave you with one parting thought: Crowley knows. He knows there’s furniture missing. (That’s why he keeps just tossing things everywhere, because he know it doesn’t matter.)

And he. Does not. Care. For it.

How many theories that I myself hate can I dig into?

I’m a demon, I lied:

#good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens theories #crowley #aziraphale

[cumulo-stratus]

hiii !! recently ran into your blog and i love ur posts sm. i have this silly little thing in my mind i was hoping you could maybe write it?

Spencer (thinking mostly season 2, mostly cuz i love his glasses look) and M!Reader have been dating for a while already, like a few months to a year, and Spencer still gets flustered by him. He still gets all nervous when reader is around him, and when he kisses him. Imagine reader giving Spencer a small kiss on the cheek or smth and he becomes a blushing mess, and reader teases him about it which just causes him to become more flustered over it.

you don't have to write that specifically, just anything with Spencer getting easily flustered by reader would be really cute ^^

Smart cookie

(GIF NOT MINE)

request: yes/no

flustered!spencer reid x Tattooed!male!reader

Description: reader asks for readers help with a new tattoo he wants, and when reader calls Spencer a smart cookie Spencer gets flustered, and reader can't help himself

CW: possible swearing, needles (lemme know if theres anything else)

A/N: thanks for the support love <3 and ofc course ma biche! im actually in love with this idea of like cute little baby spencer being all flustered by reader. i think ill add some of my own stuff bc u did give artistic liberty but i hope you enjoy it!

!!!!SORRY ABT THE TERRIBLE FLIRTING!!!!

Y/N L/N and Spencer reid have been dating for 9 months, 2 days, and 3 hours (and counting according to spencer), but he still had a tendency to get adorably flustered when Y/N would flirt with him, and especially if he called him smart cookie. Which y/n didnt quiet understand since he’d been calling his boyfriend smart cookie since practically day one of their relationship. But y/n found it adorably hilarious so it was okay.

one instance of this adorable awkwardness, was the day y/n decided to ask spencer for help with a new tattoo he wanted, something special for the two of them. Spencer had highly advised against it stating

“31% of men and 24% of women regret getting tattoos of someones name. And if even I plan on being with you for long time that may not happen angel.”

“ugh, your too sweet for me darling. But the world doesn’t deserve a hottie like you anyways” y/n replied with a wink as spencer blushed profusely

“and by the way, you cant change my mind on this spencer, im getting that tattoo. And you’ve seen how stubborn i can be, remember The Book Incident? ya thats what i thought” y/n smirked as spencer grimaced remembering the fateful incident earlier that year.

“okay my love, i wont object to you getting the tattoo, but it has to be something good, and i wanna help with it.” spencer finally relented.

this caught y/n of guard, as he had just been planning a heart with with their initials in the center. nothing special, but when y/n told spencer of this plan, he was incredulous.

“do you not know me y/n/n, thats to simple, and not romantic enough! and its something morgan would get.”

after Y/n was done laughing at the morgan comment and had regained his composure they continued their arguing over what the tattoo should be.

“its gonna be on my body!”

“the tattoo is about you and me!”

but after much bickering they came to a consensus that a simple latin phrase would be nice. Simple, yet elegant and romantic. Some for y/n, some for Spencer. now the hard part was deciding which latin phrase from spencers extensive encyclopedia of knowledge in his head.

After much discussion they decided on the phrase “Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur” spencer had translated for y/n when he asked what it meant but he already liked the sound of it without the meaning. But when spencer told him he liked it even more, he stated “we choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving.” And you were in love.

“thats it- thats the one!” y/n exclaimed with excitement. “thanks for the help smart cookie” you added with a smile and a wink. As always spencer flushed bright red when his boyfriend called him the pet name. As y/n studied his boyfriend in his flustered state, he couldnt help but notice how cute he was. His reddened cheeks and small smile as he looked away. Y/n couldnt help but get that enamored feeling of intense love and adoration that often came with staring candidly at his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend. In his thoughtful state he didnt even realize that spencer had noticed the intense gaze of his lover.

“why are you looking at me like that?” spencer questioned with a shy smile.

“cus your just too cute not too! and you deserve it” y/n responded with a sly smile. spencer once again flushed red at the flirtatious comments.

“what? Oh c'mere hot stuff I wanna give ya a kiss" y/n pulled his boyfriend into his lap and put his hands on either side of the man's face. "ugh! Your so cu-" The rest of the man's sentence was cut off by him kissing his boyfriend. Very aggressively Spencer would add, but he was to busy being kissed. Finally y/n let go of his lips and they both sucked in a large breath. But before Spencer could get word out y/n started peppering his face with kisses, using them to punctuate his words

"You. Are. A. Smart. Cookie."

If it was even possible Spencer's ears grew redder. "Thank you, y/n." Spencer responded with a small smile playing at his lips. "of course love" y/n said as he gave a bigger sweeter smile this time before leaning in for a more loving and passionate kiss. And as they kissed all that fun through y/ns mind, was Spencer.

THE END

#bau #criminal minds #bau team #spencer reid #Spencer reid x reader #tattooed!reader #Male!reader #Spencer reid x male reader #Spencer Reid x tattooed reader #Request #cute

[i4bellingham]

Love your writing! Could you do one where you’re friends with Trent and he has a crush on you but you don’t know since he keeps things close to the chest. And it’s not an issue until you meet Jude and the two of you click and start dating that he voices his feelings to you. You want to stay w Jude but Trent can’t bare being just friends and seeing you fall in love w someone else.

THE CHOICE : bsf!trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader x mentioned bf!jude bellingham

all of the gifs in my posts are from my keyboard. they aren't mine but i also have no clue who their owners are but all credits goes to them for creating such beautiful gifs <33 thank you so much <333

cw: unresolved issues, trent and reader low-key being redflags 🚩🚩🚩, cussing, mentions of making out, honestly jude deserves better in this fic why’d i write it like this 😭 + not proofread

i added a twist of mine on this one, hope that's alright 👀 how i managed to finish this in a day is beyond me. i normally take 2-3 days to finish a fic but here i am finishing a trent fic in a day 😨

Admitting that you loved someone was hard.

Admitting that you love someone who already loves someone else is harder.

Trent was very well-aware that his fondness of you grew past the stages of ‘like’. It was something that he had to come into terms with just recently seeing you wrapped around someone else’s arms.

Before anything, you were a good friend of Trent’s. You would always show up to his games wearing his jersey, you always opened up your time and attention to him when he’s feeling under the weather or when they lost a game. You were always there for him, through his good times and even at his worst. You were there, hugging him close to you when the hateful comments got too much and inside his head, clouding his mind with doubt and insecurity as he recalls them over and over in his memory. You always liked to remind him of what he’s achieved at a young age, reiterate every single thing that he’s won at football and praise him for being so strong for facing each of his days with a raised head despite the comments, until he’s there in your arms with tears fogging his sight.

You were so good to him, so good for someone with the likes of him that him falling for you wasn’t even out of the picture anymore.

But Trent stopped himself from confessing, thinking that whatever friendship he got with you was too good for him to lose. So he never did, never once gave any inclinations of his feelings for you until it grew and blossomed into what it’s now known as love.

There wasn’t really any worries on his part, because although you've gone to a few dates (none of which really succeeded), there wasn’t really anyone who had the pleasure of being called your boyfriend.

Not until him.

Not until Jude Bellingham came into the picture and shattered whatever complacent Trent found in your relationship.

It was supposed to be you and him and although merely as friends, Trent wanted nothing more for it to be just you and him for a very long time.

But really, he’s the partial reason why you started dating Jude in the very first place regardless if he likes the profound relationship between you and his best mate anyways.

He did introduce the two of you to each other at his own birthday party because while he tried to distract himself with the multiple girls that surrounded him that night from how beautiful and breathtaking you looked in your dress, he had given Jude the perfect open opportunity to get to know you better. And before he even knows it, Trent’s greatest fear had come into life.

Eight months after his birthday party, you began dating Jude leaving him with nothing but the scarce presence of you in his life.

Not until one day when you reached out and asked him to hang out that Trent came into the conclusion that he would rather get the things off in his chest now no matter the cost than never doing it and dwelling on the what should have been. He knows it’s not fair to you nor to Jude but he’d really wanted to do this now in hopes that it would give him the peace that he needs with the feelings he holds for you.

Trent wasn’t expecting much from you if he did confess, but it was still safe to say that he was hoping for at least a little bit that in someway, you reciprocated his feelings too no matter how slim they may be now.

Trent hugs you a little longer than he should have when he finds you in his door step, clad in a familiar hoodie that also had the lingering scent of its owner when he pulls away from you before ushering you inside his house.

“Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

You really haven’t, is what response crossed Trent’s mind as the both of you sat on his couch with an arms length of space dividing you both that wasn’t normally there before you started dating Jude. But instead of voicing it out, Trent reaches a hand out to ruffle your hair.

“You’ve been rather occupied with your new relationship, don’t want to interfere in young love.” He ends his reply with a teasing smile.

You face him, adjusting on his couch with your legs crossed above the cushions. “So... how have you been?”

Miserable?

Missing you?

Regretting lots of stuff?

What should have been a proper answer to such a basic question was drowned out by Trent's thoughts in the situation he tried to move past. It was all about his regrets of not confessing and owning up to his feelings earlier. It was all about the what-ifs inside his head that ran rampant just like his thoughts of you.

“Okay...”

“Just okay?” You teased, chuckling when Trent rolls his eyes. “What? No new flings Mr. Alexander-Arnold?”

Trent’s demeanor immediately shifts into a tensed one, and as if sensing his discomfort for the topic you reel your question back with another remark.

“Now don't be so uptight with me T, you know I don't judge you for that.”

Of course you haven't. You don’t judge him in anything he does. You hold him at such a high regard to trust him fully that he doesn't do anything stupid, one that could potentially dwindle your trust on him.

Those flings haven’t come by for more than a few months now, only seeking out the presence of other girls to satiate his needs with the courage he's gotten from the alcohol, but even those instances became sparse ever since he owned up to how he really felt about you.

“I know, you love me too much to judge me for every shit that I do.” Trent insinuates.

You unknowingly nod your head. “Of course I do. You have been such a good friend to me T, of course I love you-”

“Just as friends?”

You snap your head to his direction, shock on your face before you're letting out forced and nervous chuckles.

“Of course Trent, you're my friend aren’t you?”

There is a feint hints of smirk on his lips. Trent nods his head spuriously to appease you, but the next words to come out of his lips did anything but to ease you down.

“I see you're still a horrible liar.”

You look at him confused.

“You don’t call me Trent unless you're hiding something from me pretty baby...” Trent inches closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to which you didn't take backㅡnot immediately anyways, no.

You seemed to have been stunned to hear the nickname he used to call you before you were dating Jude tumble out of his lips.

Frozen next to him and shocked, you only managed to shake yourself back to reality with the thought of your current boyfriend passing by your mind.

You take your hand back immediately, scooting a little further away from Trent.

“Trent-” You warn him, not wanting to hear the next words leave his lips.

“What? Really? You thought I would believe that you only ever loved me as a ‘friend’ ?” He asks you almost mockingly. “Friends don’t kiss each other baby. Friends don’t make out a plenty of times-”

“We were both drunk that time Trent!”

“The first time it happened we were! But what about the other times that it happened Y/N?”

You stand up from the couch. “I don’t know why you’re bringing this up now Trent! It had been a year and a half since it happened!” You started to head to door, planning on leaving the entire conversation and Trent behind when his hand reaches out to grasp at your arm, pulling your back against his chest.

“Don’t lie Y/N. You know me better than anyone, and I know you better than everyone else.” He wraps his arms around your waist, slotting his forehead against the plane of your shoulder. “You didn’t see me just as your friend-”

You struggled against his hold, mind reminding you of your boyfriend and how wrong and unfair this is to him.

“Yes Trent! I did see you more than just my friend! Is that what you want to hear from me!?”

Yes, you two did kiss during that one damned night during New Year’s eve drunk and out of your wits and the situation went completely out of control when the two of you found yourselves in the back of his car, lips slotted perfectly against each other as you spent the New Year countdown in each other’s arm and tongues down each other’s throat.

After that, the tension just grew more to which the both of you tried to ignore at first but to no avail. It just turned palpable that even some of your mutual friends began to suspect a thing when you’d hang out with them. It was so apparent that something went down between you and Trent but you've never had the guts to openly admit that.

It was one random night when the both of you finally broke that tension out into the open air, nearly ridding each other of clothes in a messy lip-lock and hands on opposite bodies that didn’t stay at one spot for more than a second.

Instances like that happened for a few more times before Trent himself ultimately ended what he himself started.

His birthday party was the perfect gateway that able you to meet Jude, eyes and attention on him instead of Trent and the multiple girls on his arms as he openly flirted with them.

You remember trying to keep your tears from falling, tried so hard to tune down the disappointment, hurt and sadness that you felt in that moment.

But Jude was there. Jude was there to distract you with his lame jokes and made you play boardgames with him in Trent’s guest room that you used to occupy sometimes when staying at his house.

Both of you left the party a little past 12 am back then, giggling and shoving each other past the number of guests in Trent’s house before driving over to a local fast food chain. There were still loitering thoughts of Trent here and there during that night but somehow, Jude managed to divert your pain into a copious sound of laughter from his foolish punch lines.

If he knew what you felt for Trent back then, he made no comments about it. But he stayed with you and a few more times after that night meanwhile, you chose to ignore what you witnessed Trent doing that night.

Even though you only made-out a lot of times in an unlabeled relationship that went past beyond just being friends at that point, it still hurt to think that Trent did that in front of you. It still hurt that he didn't seemed to care that you were watching them moreover when he was openly kissing a girl on his lap in front of everybody before you and Jude left the house to drive around the city for food.

It just went like that.

Everything went unresolved and although you began to reconnect three months after that, everything was just not the same.

The both of you tried so hardㅡor you did at least to keep those memories and feelings buried deep down your mind because you have someone better now. Someone who provided so much of his attention, care and adoration for you. Someone you know would never ever think let out alone act on hurting you.

Jude was perfect in so many ways, and he was so good to you but you don’t want to let him go. Not even for the sake of Trent’s realizations.

Trent’s grip around your waist loosens, and from there he can hear your sniffs before he’s turning you around, lips on your forehead and hands on your arms.

“But you broke what we had Trent... and Jude was there to pick up the mess you made...” You murmur, letting the tears to freely cascade down your cheeks. “After your birthday party all I heard from your teammates was you seeing different girls each week Trent... how do you think I’d feel from that?”

“But you didn't reach out to me-”

“You fucking hurt me when you talked to those girls all night long and completely ignored me! You even had your tongue down some girl’s throat on the couch when Jude and I left and you expect me to reach out to you?” Pushing him off you, you pointed a finger against his chest. “Don’t put the blame on me for something that is completely on you Trent. I waited for you to explain yourself even though you really didn't have to... what we had was just like what you have with the other girls isn’t it? A friend with benefits type of th-”

This seems to trigger something in Trent because his pulling you by the arms and slotting his lips against yours just like how he did long ago.

Stunned, you were too dumbfounded to push Trent away. The realization only hits you like a truck when he pulls away and places his forehead against yours, whispering the words that you refused to hear until now.

“Don’t.” Trent caresses your cheeks in gentle motions of his fingers, cupping your face against the warmth of his palm. “Don’t ever fucking compare what you and I had to my stupid rendezvous. I was a coward. I didn’t admit that I love you, not even to my self until a few months ago. I didn’t want to lose you Y/N... I was so afraid to lose you that I'd rather lose my chances of being someone more than a friend to you than lose you in my life entirely if you didn't reciprocated my feelings and felt uncomfortable to be my friend again to stay.

I know I had such a douche way of showing that I didn't want you gone from my life and I admit that, I know that. I want to apologize to you in every waking day but I was way in my head to even recognize the selfishness that I did. And before I knew it, you had broken the news to me that you were seeing Jude and we pretended that those times didn't happen and I was okay with it. I was okay with it because at least you were talking to me again. I was okay with pretending that I was supportive of your relationship when all I ever wanted was what Jude have now because at least you acknowledged me again as someone in your life...”

Trent sighs, cursing underneath his breath before closing his eyes to keep his tears from falling. “I was so okay with you being with him because at least I got to see you again... I was so fucking okay with every minimal gesture from you because at least you were back in my life. I was ready to take everything you gave me baby, no matter how foolish and insignificant they may be... I’d take them all because they're from you...

I love you Y/N, and I don’t fucking care if you're with Jude. I’ll fight for your affection if I have to, if I get you by the end of it... it’s all gonna be worth it.”

With the tears freely rolling down both of your cheeks and like a twisted sense of irony, the phone in your pocket rings. You fish it out to see the contact name and face of the very person who had given you his everything ever since you became his girlfriend officially; the guy who tampered your broken pieces to keep you whole and kept you safe and loved.

　

　　　　　　　Incoming call...

　　　　　　　　　jude 🖤

a/n: i know this is a piece of information you lot already know but marcus rashford is so fucking fine like i would literally breathe dust if he ever do as much as look in my way-

read part two here !!

#☆ i4bellingham writes. #☆ jude bellingham #☆ trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold fanfiction #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold x you #trent alexander arnold x fem!reader #trent alexander arnold #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x fem!reader #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham fanfiction #jude bellingham fanfic

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

#WHEW this took me a million years. but it was So worth it <3 #also i'm so pleased w the gif. cause it's me!! it's my icon!!!! #crazy together & purple :) #but anyway. thank u all for existing 💖 #myedit #rae.txt #bday

[poohsources]

HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

#pooh speaks. #pooh's (ir)regular updates. #long post tw

[dribs-and-drabbles]

15 people, 15 questions

Thanks for tagging me @colourme-feral, @wen-kexing-apologist and @thegalwhorants! I wrote this at night on Christmas Eve but then tumblr ate the post when I moved it from my drafts to my queue, so I had to write the whole thing again...

1. Are you named after anyone?

No. My parents had a difficult time deciding on a name and just eventually landed on the one they gave me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Well that depends on what kind of crying... I teared up last Wednesday when my furniture and belongings arrived from being in storage for 17 months. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my breath hitched a few times when I watched ep 6 Last Twilight (damn you Aof!) nearly two weeks ago. But the last time I ugly sobbed was whilst watching a musical in June, but I was feeling especially emotional about my temporary living situation at the time.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I don't play any now (but I do go to the gym) but when I was a kid I did gymnastics and then dance (although that's not a sport). I played different sports in school but only because I had to and they weren't any I really enjoyed.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm? Who, me?! Nooooooo never.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably their posture or body language.

7. What's your eye colour?

To be honest I'm not sure. There's grey and bits of blue and green and even brown but I wouldn't be able to call it a colour. I used to say hazel but then I realised hazel was more brown than my eyes are so I don't really know.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Oh happy endings for sure. I mean, I'm on (this) tumblr because of the qls I watch so it should be obvious.

9. Any talents?

I can hold a handstand for 30 secs (I've also managed 1 min in the past but that was a while ago now) but that feels more like a party trick than a talent. I guess I could say dancing. Oh, maybe guessing the time usually quite accurately.

10. Where were you born?

In the UK, specifically England.

11. What are your hobbies?

Apart from going to the gym, handstanding and watching ql series? I'm currently obsessed with the clothes from the shows 😅...but I also like to go for walks, sometimes I play boardgames, and I like to read (I've been mainly reading fan fic recently though). I also think about lego a lot (and now I have my own place I might get some sets - bonsai tree my beloved) and I used to write but it's been a few years since I last wrote anything.

12. Do you have any pets?

No. I've had cats in the past and I'd like another cat at some point but not for a while.

13. How tall are you?

I'm not 🤭

14. What was your favourite subject in school?

I can't remember now but probably geography...but more geology than countries...or creative writing. There was a point where I enjoyed maths...but didn't study it beyond 16.

15. What is your dream job?

I'd actually like to be able to not work, or to only work part time. I've been lucky to have actually had my dream job and I'm very grateful for the opportunity/experience.

So that's it! I guess I should tag 15 people since that's the title of this game, so here goes: @grapejuicegay @telomeke (I know you've been tagged a few times) @respectthepetty (I know you've done it already but I wanted to tag you anyway) @celestial-sapphicss @dimplesandfierceeyes @chickenstrangers @wen-kexing-apologist (I know you've already done it as well but leaving this tag here anyway) @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @btwinlines @starryalpacasstuff No pressure obviously. (bonus tag for @absolutebl because I like it when you answer these kinds of things using only photos /gifs)

#the tag game #writing this on christmas morning instead #having a quiet day by myself #and probably unpacking more boxes #saving it in my queue so I hope it doesn't get eaten by tumblr again... #(edited pre-posting to add some tags/notes)

[nonexistent-introvert]

Overthinking (Paper Stars 6)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Content: rants about romance, rants, hurt + comfort?, fluff, usual stuff, Joel has a soft spot for you,

A/N: I'm finally back and free! (not for long before exams catch up to me again). This chapter sort of wrote itself and may also be a rant idk. I have also just realized it has been exactly a month since I updated this series. My apologies. (This is also a repost sorry I was trying to edit my post but me being me accidentally deleted it instead )

Paper Stars Masterlist

GIF by loregifs

   “It’s fine.” The last message from Joel has plagued your thoughts for the past hour. You furiously swiped the screen, hoping that the screen would refresh with a new message. The last time you truly saw him was literally the time when you had chased him out of your house. You had barely caught glimpses of him after that and the guilt that ate at your heart for treating him so harshly only seemed to grow with each cold shoulder he gave you. Joel had stopped giving you his usual smiles when he saw you and stopped coming up to you for a quick conversation. “Sorry, been busy.” Your eyes reread that message he had sent to you for the umpteenth time. Hell, you could recite this conversation out loud if anyone wanted you to. If you were any wiser, maybe you’ll realise that Joel has been avoiding you but you decided to trust him instead.

     “Joel, I’m really sorry about the other day, fuck I feel real bad about it. I just hoped to be able to talk to you, face to face.” You reread that apology you sent him. Did you mess everything up with him again? It shouldn’t be a surprise, you tend to do that anyways. The jar of paper stars sat on the surface of the coffee table, mocking you. 

==============================================

     “That’s harsh Joel.” Tommy commented, scrolling through Joel’s chat. Joel harshly snatched his phone back from his younger brother, dropping to his seat with an exasperated sigh. “I mean, I suspected something when you decided to spend more time in the office but to her?” Tommy poked. “Drop it, Tommy. Hand me the proposal already.” Joel instructed. Tommy took the proposal he had tucked under his armpit and dropped it onto Joel’s desk. Tommy let himself drop into the seat opposite Joel, leaning against his arms that were behind his head. “Come on, fill me in.” Joel ignored Tommy, deciding to busy himself with the proposal in front of him. “Its not like you to be so harsh. At least not to her.” Tommy went on, spinning a stray pen that was on Joel’s desk. He leaned forward, a teasing smile on his face as he stared at his older brother. “Ah, the silent treatment. That what you been doing these days? To her?” Joel’s eyes finally snapped to meet Tommy’s. “I told ya to drop it didn’t I?” Tommy stifled a laugh, “That would have worked years ago. Using that card too many times seems to have dulled the fear effect on me” 

Joel simply glared at him before deciding to focus on his proposal again. 

      “Fine, I’ll just ask her myself.” Tommy insisted, standing up to pull out his phone from his pocket while walking towards the office door of Joel’s office. The door slammed shut before Tommy even made it past the door. “Cut it out,” Joel warned again, having got out of his seat to close the door before Tommy could do anything. “Then spill,” Joel averted his gaze away from Tommy. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Joel couldn’t help but think it was so petty when he thought of voicing his thoughts to Tommy. “Something major must have happened. You were literally trying to pick up cooking despite your hectic schedule a few weeks ago. You were more smiley and easygoing since you saw her again and now you are back to the old boring grump.” Joel rolled his eyes, 

   “We just got different perspectives on some matters,” Joel stated plainly. 

================================================

     Having grew up in a family that was not very keen on forming attachments, you have learnt to be nonchalant and not have most things bother you. The literal reason for your family not getting a family pet like a dog was not even the usual heavy responsibilities reason. It may have been one of the reasons but you remember distinctly that the main reason was “When the dog’s time is up, it would be living hell. You wouldn’t want to go through that.” These were the exact words that your parents have told you. It had shaped how you grew up as a person too, having attachments to people only seemed to bring the most pain if they left you, you would rather be alone than have to go through that. You would rather not have formed that deep of an attachment in the first place. 

    You had always despised people who got into relationships headfirst, your first thought was always ‘what if it didn’t last?’, you watched your friends get into relationships with guys and saw how their relationships eventually end in failure. The reasons range from having lost that ‘spark’ to having different priorities in life. It all seemed so foolish, especially when you had firsthand seen how your friends cried over the people they once thought were the ‘love of their life’ when they seemed to never be able to get over their exes. It seemed so foolish and stupid to you, putting yourself in a vulnerable state over someone, not knowing if they felt as strongly as you. The probabilities and variables involved always showed that it was a losing game. The nickname ‘romance pessimist’ was given to you by your friends. It did hurt when some of your closest friends did not tell you about their relationships or open up to you about their own relationships in fear that you would judge them or not empathize with them but you that upon yourself anyways. Just like most things in your life, you just brushed that behavior off, that is also the reason why your phone is filled with contacts that you haven’t talked to for years, you tend to drift apart with people easily. 

    However, you would be lying if you said that you didn’t believe in love at all. In the oceans of bad relationship examples, there were good ones too. Relationships that made your heart flutter upon hearing them speak about their significant other, gestures that made your heart melt when you saw what they did for each other. Chemistry that seemed to bind two people in ways that science and logic cannot explain. It intrigued you to say the very least. While others' dose of romance came from pursuing relationships, yours came from fictional works and other successful relationships. Despite the cold exterior you had put up when it comes to romance, you were a sucker for it deep down. You were just afraid of the ‘what ifs’ in a relationship. 

    Joel Miller, he always seemed to break through that exterior of yours. When he picked up cooking to cook for you, when he changed into formal attire just to match you, and countless small gestures he did for you over the years only fed into your desires for romance. You forced yourself to suppress those desires but now, as you sat on the couch worrying if you had pushed him too far away. You knew that you had already became vulnerable when it comes to Joel. You knew when your thoughts spiraled around him. when you consistently thought and reflected on yourself. A friend once told you that being in love was like being delusional. You never know what the other person is thinking so you think about it until you eventually convince yourself the other person either thinks positively or negatively about you. You delude yourself into believing in that image of you despite what the other person believes. 

     You sat up with a sigh. What were you doing? Analysing his every reaction, wondering if he hated you, wondering if you had finally pulled his last straw. The logical part of you scolded yourself, gave yourself the same advice that you had given countless friends when they ranted about their relationship issues. “Stop overthinking.” You had never realised how useless that advice is until now. You put on your shoes and forced yourself out on a walk, leaving your phone in your home to avoid thinking about the matter any longer. 

================================================

     Joel yawned as he waited at a red light. His eyes fell to the time that read 12.45am. The streets were dark and empty, anyone who took a walk now would be as foolish as the characters you see in horror movies. Not to mention, the dark and stormy clouds towering in the sky and the few raindrops that littered his windscreen. 

      Just as he finished that thought, the one person that would be foolish enough to do all this appeared in his hindsight. It was like a sign to Joel never to underestimate you. He massaged his temples in annoyance as he watched you stroll along the streets like everything he had just thought of did not apply to you. He always admired your nonchalant attitude, the shittiest things could happen to you and you could just smile and laugh it off, preferring to adapt than do anything about it. However, this was a circumstance where that attitude annoyed him. You never seemed to understand the concept behind getting a cold, since young, you have learned to embrace the rain rather than seek shelter. The countless times he had to drag you out of the rain to a shelter and nagged at you for splashing puddles of rainwater at him, especially that one time when you had intentionally stuck your hand out into the rain despite the shelter just so you could gather the rainwater to splash at him. He admitted that it had got onto his nerves, seeing the dirty stains on his pants from you kicking dirty rainwater onto him and getting wet despite being a shelter but the smile and happiness on your face seemed to melt away all the anger in him. Your smile was worth him spending an extra few minutes trying to scrub off the stains on his pants and the sneezing fit he got after. 

       Joel subconsciously smiled at the memories. He watched you, nagging internally at you when he realised you hadn’t brought an umbrella with you too. You were the only person he knew that treated umbrellas like the bane of your life. “It gets wet and what am I supposed to do with it? Hold it? I can’t even throw it back into my bag!” You always complained, opting to get drenched. A logic that he would never understand. 

      Joel drove slowly beside you, cursing slightly at your obliviousness as you continued to walk. If the roads weren’t empty at this time he would definitely be identified as a stalker or be considered as obstructing traffic. Honestly, if it wasn't for the circumstances now, he would have driven right away, still feeling rather hurt at your actions the other day. Well, he told himself that even if deep down he knew he would never just coldly drive past you. Joel lowered his car window, calling out your name. He groaned when you just continued walking, never even realising his truck beside you and that he was calling you. He pressed the horn in the spur of the moment, cringing slightly at the loud noise it made. He swore he could hear the people complaining and cussing him out for horning at this time. You finally snapped out of your daze, you jumped at the noise before your eyes caught sight of the familiar truck. Shit. 

      “Get in.” Joel grunted. You shook your head, “It’s ok.” you tried to brush him off. “It’s about to pour, get in.” At the mention of the rain, the rain got heavier and you cursed. “Joel, I’ll get your seats dirty.” You argued, feeling your clothes get pelted with raindrops. Joel rolled his eyes, hopping out of his truck. A gesture that took you by surprise. “What- Joel- you’re going to get wet!” You said. “I couldn’t care less about my seats right now and I’ll prove it by standing here with you.” “Joel, you’re a fucking maniac.” Joel raised his eyebrows, “Says the one who doesn’t ever bring an umbrella. Talk all you want, we’ll just get more drenched the longer we stand here.” You let out a frustrated groan, shoving past him as you got into his truck. Joel smirked, looking down to hide it before entering his truck again. 

      The silence between the both of you caught up real soon. Unlike the usual comfortable ones the both of you usually shared, this was tense. You looked out of the window, trying to ignore the uncomfortable energy suffocating the both of you in the truck. You eyed the radio in the car enviously, having some music would probably make this less torturing. Joel pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the road ahead. The mature part of him was calling him childish for ignoring you until you decided to make the first move to talk but he was too stubborn to listen to it. In a way, you did make the first move, offering to talk, but he had rejected you with a cold lie. 

     “You wanted to talk didn’t you?” Joel broke the silence. You stared at him, pursing your lips. You definitely had, you even wrote a script in your mind on what to tell him but all the words seemed to have left your mind now that you were faced with him. “Or did I get you mixed up with Tommy?” He tried to joke, but he should have guessed the frown on his face didn’t facilitate in delivering it as a joke. “I did yeah.” You admitted. He kept quiet, waiting for you to continue. He snuck a glance at you when you took a little too long. “Sorry Joel, that is the main message. The rest of the words are just a mess in my mind.” You sighed, trying to sort your thinking out. 

    “Spit it out, anything. I’ll put them together for you.” You bit your lip upon hearing those words. It was just words, but it brought on a surge of positive mixed emotions. “It's just- I didn’t mean to push you away. I didn’t want to either. I- it just seems like a natural instinct to do that.” 

    “You didn’t want to burden me with your emotions.” Joel concluded for you. You nodded, you would never understand how he knew you so well. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel for a split second. “I’m not a goddamn mind reader you know?” You glanced at him, unsure of what to say to that.

    “I respect that sometimes you need space, but then when I noticed that look on you. I just had to know what was going on in your head. I never wished to be a mind reader more than then. Scratch that, I want to be able to read your mind all the time. I want to know everything about you. So I genuinely don’t mind if you treat me like that diary you had in middle school. Hell, it’ll make me happy. You know I never was one for puzzles.” You smiled at his words, a warmth settling in your heart at his words. When you were young people used to say you talk too much, that you needed to know when to keep quiet, and that your topics of conversation were not interesting. Joel, you should have noticed his comments about you ever since young were the opposite. He never stopped you from talking, he enjoyed it even. Joel was never good with words, he preferred listening and seemed to let him do just that, making jokes and witty comments that can lift his moods on the darkest of days. 

      “That’s just creepy. Imagine if you knew what I thought of 24/7, and it was a journal, Joel. Not a diary.” You joked, you weren’t one for sappy words either. You just hoped he knew in his heart how much his words meant to you. A smile crept onto his face, he rubbed his beard with his hand. “Why? You got dirty thoughts?” “Worse than that.” He chuckled, “Yeah, I would know. I read your diary.” You hid behind your arm as you laughed, cringing slightly at the diary you used to have as a child. “Shut up, it’s a journal.” “‘Mrs. Jefferson needs to learn how to mind her own business and Jennifer inserting herself into random conversations does not make her more popular but annoying literally go back to your front seat and kiss ass.” Joel quoted. “Why do you still remember!” You placed your hands over your ears, cringing at his impersonation of the exact words you once wrote in a private journal until Joel Miller got his hands on it. “Because it was interesting. Only book I read that year, maybe that explains why I failed that literature test on Shakespeare.” Joel thought back, he would never consider himself to be academically smart. “Maybe huh. Just a slight chance you may have failed because you didn’t even do the necessary readings.” you shot back in sarcasm. Joel grinned, “Hey, you should be the next great writer! You  literally beat Shakespeare in being more interesting.” “I literally failed most of my English essays because of ‘grave errors’ like expression and grammatical errors up until finals.” You said, thinking back on how your English teacher failed you by penalizing you on multiple occasions. “I’m sure Mrs. Jefferson would be pleased to find out your diary is one of New York’s bestsellers. With the terrible grammar and all. Could be your unique writing style and all.” Joel teased and you shoved him lightly. 

       The tension between the both of you became non-existent soon enough. 

     Tommy was right, maybe airing some of your problems out instead of bottling them would make life much easier. Advice he had given you in all his years as your best friend, having long learned how to maneuver past those walls you had put up. 

#joel miller tlou #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #tlou #pedro pascal x reader #tlou x reader #joel tlou #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel #joel miller angst

[kafus]

oh hey ive been meaning to ask is there an easy or preferred way to get into kamitsubaki lore esp for vwp. ive tried to skim the website like 3 separate times & only picked up the very very basics

ok so the problem with kamitsubaki lore is that literally like Most of it that is direct and not just implied thru music videos/twitter posts happened in a fuckign ARG that is... kind of lost media kind of not. the kamitsubaki city ARG took place on a website where players were given new... riddles and tasks called Qs every day for the month of october in 2021 and that website is now inaccessible but people i know archived and translated all the content they could so it's still viewable in some fashion. a couple of my friends practically singlehandedly edit the kamitsubaki fandom wiki and you can find all the "story fragments" (cutscenes from the ARG with direct story) translated here (oh and there's also lost media from before the ARG from kaf's old fanbox page that is now inactive/lost media... i have all of the images from that but they aren't all typeset yet so i'd have to get back to you on that one. it's dubious whether all that stuff is still canon anyways, a lot of it seemed conceptual before kamicity was properly outlined. one day i'll compile all this shit somewhere for everyone to have easy access since the wiki is kinda eh for it)

when you said "skim the website" i assume you're talking about the website for the narrative TTRPG stuff? perhaps? sorry kamitsubaki has websites all over the place it's kind of a disaster. i can't give too much information on this one honestly, my japanese isn't good enough and i'm a little bit behind, but afaik other than the tutorial after you sign up which walks you through a scenario with one of the girls as TTRPG practice, the rest is just... TTRPG stuff. like you making up stories with other players within the setting and whatnot. you'd have to browse through it. (eventually there's going to be some sort of small video game related to all of this. exciting. who knows when that'll happen)

there is also some stuff to do with the cr/ypto project that's loosely correlated with kamitsubaki city i guess but not really you can ignore that. and i would ignore it. i do

otherwise it's kind of like vocaloid song series where the VWP music videos contain hints to lore/metaphorically show what's happening. occasionally art is posted to the hashtag # STORY_VWP on twitter too which contains art correlated with the actual story of kamicity.

if you want my basic breakdown and understanding, tldr the girls r summoned from elsewhere by a mysterious organization called the Restoration Foundation to use magic singing powers to restore life to a city, but the city is doomed to end in apocalypse from fishlike creatures called Tessaracters every single time and they're like. in a time loop with varying amounts of memory retrieval trying to save kamitsubaki city and go home. there seems to be a lot of significance with what clothes the girls are wearing in different media and etc etc

Sorry i'm sleepy and this is probably too long and also a mess. the reason it's a mess though is because VWP lore is a mess and that's part of the fun for me. if you have more specific questions about specific parts i probably can help with an answer though! i'm not as into it as some other people but the lore is still fun to theorize on and i like seeing symbolism in the music videos.

this isn't even touching on like. how there's the kaf membership manga canon which is just an official comic where vwp is in high school together. or otogibanashi which was a series of... spoken skits? that kaf put on at her concerts for a while and has yet to be concluded and is a completely different universe from the rest of the vwp lore. Truly an enigma

by the way look at this video of one of my fandom friends posting a shitpost gif we made into the japanese kamicity ARG discord chat during a livestream. we made kaf laugh. the joke is that parrot was so annoying you don't want to know. i am so proud of this communityjsfdksdf

#asks #red-dyed-sarumane #sorry again for the mess omg #kiki was here #this may not have helped at all LOL

[eyeless-jack62002]

You know im mentally fucked when im here again

Also to those posting in these tags u can put the squiggle line so ur not jumpscaring ppl and less likely to get reported so fast.

Not me on my 3rd acc. Tho yall really help me stay clean. My partner started back in Novemberish maybe sooner. Right after our 4 y anniversary. And then she just dropped it on me. She knew i was trying to stay clean for her and i was doing such a good job. I only thought about it and would scroll here to "get my fix" its an addiction and i dont think ppl realize that. She brought my favorite drvgs into the house and hid it from me for months. Tho she doesnt even know i have a tumblr. Shes starting therapy now finally. And me too. I have an appt next week. I havent been since i was 12. Im scared. I dont trust therapists. I wish i could just cvt head to toe. All over everywhere. Id be exactly how i wanna be. I want this. But i cant. Gotta be around for my partner. Even tho she didnt want to for me. I told her if she wanted we could together but that we wouldnt be same ever again. I wish shed said yes but thats just jack. He clouds my thoughts with his own. Ik im sick. I wish she never told me. Ive been spiraling for months but i have to shove that down so i can help her get better. I warned her. She knew i was trying ro get better but she still fucking did it behind my back for months!! I almost broke up with her. I wnated so bad to run away and never see her again. But whats the price of choosing to love someone but urself. Id give my entire being up for her and in a way i do. Ive just been so hurt and its all i can think about. I threw away my fucking stash for her!! I regret that somedays. Today especially. We had to drain our fucking saving acc bc of her. She kept skipping work and we kept having less and less financial stability. Still dont but were starting to recover from that but barely. Its like she fucking ignored all of my advice as someone who has been selfh@rming for over a decade. Fuck what i have to say tho. The worst part of it all she cvt the same way and places as my quail as my ruby did. Fucked. She didnt know that tho. And i was finally fucking comfortable with telling her about my self h@arm and she fucking did it anyways. And she told me as if it was her telling what we her having for dinner. I cant even cry anymore over this. Why does this all still bother me. I have no tears left. I admit i screamed a lot. I hit her cvts slapped them. You didnt feel the pain then but u feel it now?? It hurts now? And she said to me "i thought you would have noticed" so snarky. Why the fuck would i think my partner who knows of my history would fucking betraw me like this. And then to be a bitch about it and ask for MY HELP!?!? TEH FUCKING INSANITY. She doing better now tho. Good for her. Ive never been okay. And i dont think i will be. I dont want to get better. Being sick feels too good. And eventually me subbing out cvting for w33d will get old eventually. It always does. Nothing can scratch this itch i have so badly in me. Its like my insides scream to be let out. Its like an energy that flows out with the red. She doesnt understand what cvtting is for me. She said she wanted to die. But knowing you wont die is what keeps me held. I have sold my soul. Im bound. Ruby stopped when we broke up. And i told her i did as well. I know were both liars but thats why ill always have a place in me for ruby. I love my partnerbut if she wants to replace ruby she can be my guest. But replaceing ruby will just make you into a ruby. And no one wants that. I love my partner and im clean for her. Why couldnt she do that for me.

I feel like im in my wattpad days in here. Jacks old diary. But he likes it here better. Anyways if u made it this far enjoy a gif from one of my current special interest show 🖤 -t and jack

#self h@rm #baby cvts #i want to cvt #s3lf harn #sh tumblr #sh things #s3lf mutilation

[lilover131]

Clear Card Chapter 71 Analysis

I’m back! Happy March everyone! I apologize for the delay in posting this analysis! I’ve had some personal stuff going on that has kept me quite distracted, but I finally buckled down and got this done! I sincerely appreciate the patience of anyone who was waiting!

 This chapter definitely has a much warmer vibe (although bittersweet) than last month’s, so here is my gif of the month for this chapter.

Without further ado, let’s talk about it!

The color page this month is relatively simple and shows Sakura standing while surrounded by the many different outfits related to the Two Alices play or “Alice in Clockland” depending I guess on which timeline it is. It’s nice to see all of them in full color now (which certainly helps with fanart. Haha), however something about this image definitely gives me the vibe that there is more to come in regards to this. I don’t think they’re done with the original timeline just yet.

 The chapter begins with a typical Sakura morning as she runs around frantically getting dressed due to oversleeping. A friend very quickly pointed out that the house actually has an entirely new section added to it that wasn’t there before, and this is very likely Akiho’s room.

I find it really comical that Suppi mentions how Sakura absentmindedly turned off both her alarms and went back to sleep. If you saw it happen Suppi, then WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE HER UUUPPPPP? Lol. I am somewhat surprised though to see Suppi there (though I guess I shouldn’t since they were seen to be there for the end of the play), because the original reason he and Nakuru showed up was because things were happening in Japan. I wonder what the reason is for their arrival in this particular timeline? Is it just a visit, perhaps to see the play or meet Sakura’s twin? In that case, I wonder if Eriol and Kaho are there as well, since they couldn’t travel before due to the risk of Kaito bringing the plane down.

 Can I pause for a moment too to talk about how cute Sakura’s new uniform is? I love the all black look (even the ends of the sleeves are black now instead of white), and the addition of the leggings is just so freaking adorable!

Sakura comes down to see Akiho cooking breakfast, and it warms my heart to see her actually cooking. That was something she wanted to learn before to cook for Kaito (they’re croqueetteeesss toooooo), so to see her doing it independently makes me think of what could’ve been had she continued to learn in the other timeline. I think over time, she would’ve turned out to be a great cook, so this new timeline pretty much proves that. The narration from Sakura explains next that Akiho had bad health since she was little and that she spent a lot of time living with their great grandfather for treatment before recently moving back in with them. I’m not entirely sure why it was necessary for her to move for treatment, but I doubt CLAMP will go into any detail about that because that would probably introduce more plot holes or headaches for them to try and cover up. Hahahaha. I suppose it really isn’t important anyways, but I actually am really happy for Masaki, their great grandfather. He was devastated losing Nadeshiko, so I bet having Akiho around probably made him really really happy. Maybe this also means that Fujitaka and him had a better relationship to start, but I’m not entirely sure what the implications of that is.

 Speaking of Fujitaka, in the next page, he arrives downstairs and greets the both of them. He eats alone with the girls since Touya had an early morning shift and one after class too (jeez this boy never stops working), but Fujitaka is eager to try what Akiho cooked. He tries it and immediately loves it, and the way Akiho just lights up after being praised for her cooking is just so precious.

 It’s explained how Akiho transferred to her school that year and was in the same class (just like in the original timeline), and despite having been separated most of their lives, Sakura is looking forward to making a bunch of happy memories with her to make up for the time lost. This reminds me a bit of how Syaoran was turned into a toddler after Sakura wished they would have met sooner. But Syaoran reminded her that they had a whole future to build happy memories together. 

 The two of them start walking to school, and as it starts to snow, Sakura becomes and overly protective older sister and starts wrapping her scarf around Akiho (who already has a scarf) to keep her nice and warm. Hahaha. Akiho asks if Sakura will be cold now without her scarf, but she insists that she’ll be okay and that she doesn’t want Akiho to get a fever. Honestly, I love seeing protective Sakura. Normally, it’s everyone else around her protecting her, but seeing her on the other side is just so freaking cute.

 Tomoyo naturally appears shortly after and commends Sakura for being such a good big sister, and Akiho mentions how she’s been feeling better than usual and not feeling any pain (oh lord, she’s been feeling pain? Poor thing…). Sakura and Tomoyo both say they will look out for her if anything changes, but Sakura adds on that Akiho is very precious to her. Tomoyo comments that maybe a sister complex runs in the family, and that one honestly made me laugh pretty good.

 When Sakura arrives to school, Syaoran is there waiting for her and the two talk about how cold it got overnight. After being asked if she was under the weather at all, Sakura answers that she is doing just fine as well as the cards. She mentions talking to the Mirror card the night before, and this seems to confirm that the Sakura cards are back with her, though in this timeline, I’m not sure that Syaoran would have ever taken them away. This does call into question though whether the Clear cards still exist or not. Somehow I have a feeling they do but are floating in some place cut off from time (maybe in the book where Kaito likely is?).

 Syaoran asks her why she wanted to talk to the Mirror card, and she tells him that she has been pondering on the thought of telling Akiho about everything that happened while they were apart, including her magical adventures. Syaoran thinks this would be shocking for her (though doesn’t seem to imply in any way that this is a bad idea), but Sakura thinks that even if she was shocked by it, that Akiho would likely believe her (I mean, it wouldn’t take much to convince her since you could literally show her). Syaoran seems somewhat saddened by the thought that she can’t use magic, but Sakura focuses on how Akiho is a kind and very strong person (girl, you have no idea). She’s asked if she trusts her, and Sakura answers that she does, to which Syaoran comments would make sense since she’s her twin. But Sakura states that even if she wasn’t her sister, she would trust her, and that time together isn’t always needed to help know how one feels.

 Syaoran smiles at her in understanding, and Sakura blushes (naturally) before mentioning that she would also want to tell her about him, such as the day they met and how he always came to her rescue. She finishes by saying she wants to tell her about the “most important person in her life”, and lord I can’t help but swoon a bit at this. And just when I thought my heart was already bursting at this cuteness, they knock it up another notch by holding hands and touching their foreheads together, and OMG I CAN’T DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL.

It's so nice seeing them be able to touch again, but I just absolutely adore the way these two show their love to each other. It’s just so pure and warm and *clutches heart again*

 Sakura talks about how she hopes too that Akiho can tell her all about her most important person, and it’s at this point that the pain comes back. Lol. Kaito’s absence really does hit hard with these words, but there isn’t much time to ponder on it before Sakura is suddenly thrust into the dream world and sees…the cloaked figure.

 Admittedly, I was not at all expecting this whatsoever, especially in the middle of such a sweet scene, but omg the hyyyyyype. I feel hyped because it feels like it’s one step closer to things ramping up again. But I gotta say…when the hood came down, my jaw pretty much dropped. Hahaha. It’s LILLIE!!! She’s younger in appearance it seems, and she claims that she is there to meet Sakura in a dream. I am so so so curious to see what all of this is about and what it all means. Why is Lillie younger? Is this a dream from Lillie’s past (dreams after all bend the rules of time)? Or has she been reborn in a new life and is now the same age as Sakura and Akiho? I really want to know the implications of this timeline on Lillie’s existence, but obviously I’m just dying to hear what it is she has to say. My hope is she has a way to save Kaito, but I suppose we’ll just have to wait to find out.

There are definitely lots of questions to be answered, and I hope CLAMP starts doing so in the next month. Until next time everyone!

#cardcaptor sakura #clear card #chapter 71 #spoilers #analysis #chrissy talks a lot #syaoran #sakura #kaito #akiho #fujitaka #masaki #tomoyo #kero #suppi #manga

[penmansparadise]

Henry Creel ~ Always

*I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF* *CREDIT TO THE GIF OWNER*

Pairing: Henry Creel x Fem!Reader with powers

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Mentions of abuse.  Mentions of blood.  Mild language.  

a/n: This was requested from my Wattpad.  I really enjoyed writing this one, and as you can see, I got a little carried away lol.  You all have to let me know if you want me to make these things shorter because this is like the third story that is over 4k words.  Let me know, y'all because I can reel it in if you want me to.  Anyway, although the mentions of abuse are very minimal, I always have to say my little rant.  If you are dealing with abuse or know someone who is in an abusive situation, please find help.  No one deserves to be treated like that, and no one should have to be in that situation.  I am always available if anyone needs to talk.  My next post will be a Steve Harrington request from my Tumblr, so be ready for that one!  Thank you all for the support.  You have no idea how much it means to me that you all read my stuff.  You all are amazing!!!

§

Your life wasn’t normal. It never has been. When you were only a little girl, your parents offered you up to Dr. Martin Brenner in exchange for a large sum of money. Your parents had known for a long time that you were special. Your powers started out small. You would fall and get a skinned knee, and within seconds it would be healed. But they soon grew to something much bigger when you healed a baby bird that was on its last breath. Your parents didn’t know what to do with you until they saw an advertisement about a place for special children. They promised you that it wouldn’t be for long. That it was for a good cause, and they would see you again. But that was a lie.

When you got to Dr. Brenner’s laboratory, you quickly learned that he didn’t take you to help with the “greater good of the world.” Instead, you were his lab rat. On day one, Dr. Brenner strapped you down to a chair and tattooed the number 000 on your left forearm. He took all your belongings that your parents packed for you and replaced them with a hospital gown and white flats. He completely stripped you of your identity without even a single shred of remorse. Day two was when training started. Dr. Brenner would hook you up to several wires and put a weird contraption on your head. He kept telling you to concentrate and focus on the task at hand, but you could never deliver. This went on for weeks before he started to get angry. Soon his calm demeanor grew to something more sinister. Whenever he took you to train, he would get physical with you, grabbing and shaking you. He would scream at you because you could never do what he wanted. Then when he had enough of your failures, he would toss you against the wall and walk out of the room, leaving your crying and battered body for the orderlies to deal with. Every night you would go back to your room, sit on your bed, and heal your wounds as you cried. You never let Dr. Brenner know that you were special and that you did have powers. You knew that he was a bad man, and you didn’t want him to use you for his experiments.

So, for months it was just you and your daily torment sessions with Dr. Brenner. Then, one day, he walked in with a little boy around the same age as you. The boy was tall for his age and had slicked brown hair. In the beginning, you didn’t interact with him. In the Rainbow Room, you would just sit alone and watch him. You watched the way he carried himself as if he wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything. As if being in a lab instead of his home was nothing out of the ordinary. You watched how happy Dr. Brenner was when he realized the boy had powers. He would spend hours training with the boy and would always be pleased when he was finished. You thought that since this boy had arrived, maybe Dr. Brenner would leave you alone. He didn’t need you anymore because there was a new pet to play with. But that wasn’t the case. Instead of leaving you alone, he would push you even harder than before. When you couldn’t do what the boy could do, Dr. Brenner would get even angrier than previously and hit you and throw you around, screaming at you to do better.

One night after a particularly rough training session, you were in your room healing yourself when the white walls of your room melted away. You looked around, and what used to be your plain room was replaced with the most beautiful beach you had ever seen. The ceiling was a bright blue cloudless expanse that seemed to go on for miles. You threw your legs over the edge of your bed, and when they touched the ground, they were welcomed by the warmth of the grainy sand. The sound of waves washing up on the shore took the place of the quiet hum of the air vent. You moved toward the water and bent down, dipping your fingertips in the cold liquid. You thought you were going crazy. Only moments ago, you were sitting in the tiny room you were assigned when you first arrived. But you didn’t care how you got to the beach. You never wanted to leave. A small smile spread across your lips as you shut your eyes and took in a long inhale, allowing the salty sea water to fill your lungs. When you exhaled, you opened your eyes and realized you weren’t alone. Just off to your left was the boy, and you froze. He just stared at you for a beat before finally speaking.

“I see the way he treats you,” he said as he began walking toward you.

For someone so young, he carried himself with so much confidence.

“Did you do this?” You asked when he finally reached you.

He nodded, and you let out a little sigh. You knew that he could move things with his mind, but you didn’t know that he could also conjure up images in someone else’s mind.

“Why?”

“Because,” he began, toeing at the sand, “you deserve to be happy.”

Your heart jumped in your chest as you stared into his blue eyes. You could feel your hands getting clammy as your nerves started to get the better of you. But the boy wasn’t fazed.

“I’m Henry,” he said, holding his hand out.

You looked at his outreached palm before taking it in yours and shaking it.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Why do you let him treat you like that?” He asked, releasing your hand.

You shrugged and gave a dry laugh.

“I don’t really have a say in how he treats me.”

Although you had resigned to your fate, it was still upsetting when you thought about it. But Henry didn’t seem as upset. Instead, his stare was hard, and his fists were balled at his sides.

“I can stop your pain, Y/N.”

Henry said the statement like it was fact, and you were taken aback just slightly at how matter of fact he sounded. But before you could say anything about it, Dr. Brenner’s voice echoed off the water like he was galaxies away. Both you and Henry turned toward the sound before Henry turned back to you and took your hands in his. His deep blue eyes stared into yours, and he said, “It’s you and me, Y/N. Always. Remember that, okay?”

He didn’t give you a chance to retort before he ran off, causing the beach to melt back into your room. That was the day you and Henry became friends. It was also the day you realized you would do anything to be around him. You liked the way your heart leaped in your chest when he was near. You liked the way Henry somehow made you laugh after Dr. Brenner’s hands made you feel anything but happy. So, you were more than excited when Henry made it a habit to sneak into your room late at night. And this habit carried into your teenage years.

Henry would visit you and use his powers to take you somewhere new every night. One time he conjured up the Eiffel Tower. Another night it was Rome, then the Taj Mahal. He took you everywhere he could remember from his World Almanac. It was during those nightly visits when all his walls were down, and it was just the two of you, that your feelings for him grew. You never wanted your middle-of-the-night rendezvous to end and wanted to be around him all the time. It didn’t take long for you to realize that you were absolutely in love with that boy and would do anything for him. On the day Dr. Brenner implanted Soteria into Henry’s neck, he rushed to your room in tears. It was the first time you ever saw him truly broken. He fell into your arms and sobbed for what felt like hours.

“What happened?” You had asked.

Henry pulled back from your chest and looked at you, hopeless.

“Dr. Brenner took away my most important power.”

“Which one?”

His bottom lip quivered, and a small whimper fell from his lips.

“The one that makes you happy.”

At that moment, you didn’t understand what he was talking about. But you realized what he meant when he stopped creating images during his nightly visits. But his ineptitude in using his powers didn’t stop you from loving him, because it wasn’t his ability to conjure up the seven wonders of the world that made you happy. It was him.

As the years went by, more children with telekinetic powers joined you and Henry at the lab. You and Henry got older, and soon Dr. Brenner stopped training with the two of you, making you two orderlies instead. Even as adults, there was still no way to escape Dr. Brenner. So, you found your purpose in protecting the children he experimented on, healing them whenever he pushed them too hard.

You ran your hands over the all-white uniform Dr. Brenner issued all his orderlies when your door opened, and Henry slid inside. He walked over to your bed, plopping down like it was his. You let out a little laugh as you looked at him through the mirror mounted on your wall.

“What? You don’t knock anymore?”

He folded his arms behind his head.

“Not when I’m not supposed to be here.”

You shook your head and turned around, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Then why are you sitting on my bed if you’re not supposed to be here?”

“Because,” he said, giving you a playful grin, “I had to see you.”

You took slow steps toward him, taking in all of his features as he lay on your bed.

“You couldn’t wait until tonight?” You asked when you finally made it to the side of your bed.

He just shook his head and said, “Nope,” popping the “P” sound.

You chuckled as you moved across the room to gather the things you’d need for the day. Henry sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees.

“Where does Brenner have you working today?”

The question came out with venom and malice, and you didn’t even have to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes. You ignored it, turned to him, held up a hairnet, and scrunched your nose.

“Kitchen duty.”

Henry stood with a devilish grin that he only got when he was up to no good.

“Why don’t you come with me instead?” He asked and raised his eyebrows. “I’ll be with the kids in the Rainbow Room.”

Your shoulders slumped, and you let out a sigh.

“Henry, I can’t. We both know what Brenner will do if he catches me somewhere I’m not supposed to be.”

Henry rolled his eyes again at the mention of Dr. Brenner.

“Come on,” he said, closing the gap between the two of you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Brenner’s schedule is like clockwork. I’ll make sure you’re in the kitchen before he even walks into the Rainbow Room.”

With Henry so close, your stomach did about fifteen somersaults. His hands caressed your lower back a little, and he gave you his sweetest smile. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to be so close, but it still made your heart nearly stop whenever it happened. You looked at him and his brows raised again before you finally heaved a huge sigh and said, “Fine.”

Henry’s smile grew even wider as he released you from his hold and led you to the Rainbow Room. By the time you entered, the children were already inside playing. Some of the older children were huddled in the corner. They had been there long enough that you could see the warmth in their eyes had disappeared. The younger children, on the other hand, still maintained their childlike wonder. At least for now. When you entered the room, Henry wandered off toward Eleven, a young girl with whom he had been spending an increasing amount of time, and you found Sixteen. He was one of the youngest among the children, but you enjoyed spending time with him the most.

The little boy was excited to see you when you took a seat next to him. He was playing with one of the wooden puzzles. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Henry sitting on the floor next to Eleven at the Plinko game. You turned to look at him only to find his eyes were already on you. A small smile pulled at the corners of your lips, and you looked down. Even the smallest interaction as such sent your heart racing. When you looked back up, you watched as Henry interacted with Eleven. He was so gentle with the children, which was only one of the many things that continued to attract you to him.

“Are you and Mr. Henry in love?” Sixteen asked loudly.

You could see Henry’s back straighten before he turned just enough for you to see a smirk playing on his lips. You turned to Sixteen, who was staring at you, waiting for your answer.

“Uh,” you began, rubbing the back of your neck, “why would you ask that, Sixteen?”

The little boy regained playing with his puzzle as he spoke.

“Because you’re always looking at one another. And he smiles at you a lot.”

You snuck a glance in Henry’s direction and could see the blush that was slowly spreading across his cheeks before fully turning your attention back to the little boy.

“Does he now?”

“Yeah,” Sixteen said brightly, “I see him do it all the time.”

He stopped playing with his puzzle, leaned closer to you, and whispered, “He’s doing it now.”

You turned only to be met with Henry’s crystalline eyes. You knew he could hear your and Sixteen’s conversation by the way he was beaming at you. Butterflies tickled your insides, and you bit your bottom lip as a way to contain the smile that was fighting to spread across your face.

“And what would you think if Mr. Henry and I were in love?”

The little boy shrugged.

“I don’t know. He’s nice, so I like him.”

You peeked over your shoulder at Henry again before saying, “Yeah, I like him too, Sixteen.”

You watched Sixteen put puzzle after puzzle together when suddenly the door swung open. When you looked up, Dr. Brenner was walking into the room. His eyes landed on you immediately, and his lips pulled into a tight line. You turned to Henry, who was looking from his watch to Dr. Brenner, a frown forming on his face. That’s when you realized. Dr. Brenner was early. His schedule wasn’t as concrete as Henry had thought. All the children jumped up and lined up on either side of his looming figure. But you didn’t move from your seat, and Dr. Brenner’s cold stare never left yours.

“Good morning, children.”

“Good morning, Papa,” they all said in unison.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Good, Papa.”

His eyes narrowed at you.

“Good,” he said before finally moving his focus to one of the children. “Twelve, would you mind opening the door? Mr. David will be taking you all to the training room.”

His stare moved back to you, and you sunk a little in your chair.

“I will be joining you all shortly. There is something I have to take care of first.”

The orderly David started walking, and all the children followed until it was only you,

Brenner, and Henry in the Rainbow Room. But Dr. Brenner didn’t seem to notice Henry was still sitting by the Plinko game as he approached you. There was nowhere for you to go. So, you just sat there, frozen in place, until Dr. Brenner’s cold hand grabbed your arm, yanking you to your feet.

“I thought I assigned you to the kitchen,” he said through gritted teeth.

Your eyes were wide, and you could feel your hands starting to tremble as Dr. Brenner’s grip tightened around your arm.

“You did,” you said, voice wobbling just slightly.

Dr. Brenner pulled you closer and growled, “Then why are you in here?”

“I-I,” you began as you tried to look anywhere but his irate stare. But Brenner’s face was so close to yours that he was all you could see. You let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t know.”

Brenner dipped his head, and you were finally able to see Henry. His smile was gone. In its place was a scowl as he stared at Brenner’s hand on your arm. Then Henry disappeared behind Dr. Brenner’s head again.

“You know what happens when you don’t follow the rules, Y/N,” Dr. Brenner hissed.

A small sob fell from your lips as Dr. Brenner started dragging you toward the door.

“No,” you begged, “please, it won’t happen again.”

But your pleas weren’t received by Dr. Brenner. You tried to dig your feet into the ground, but it didn’t stop him. You knew exactly what was going to happen. You had seen it happen to several people in the past. Brenner would stand over you while he had one of his lackeys beat you senseless while the other tased you. You pulled against him, but it was no use. His grip was too tight. But just before you got to the door, Henry stood up, gaining Brenner’s attention.

“It was my idea,” he said.

Brenner’s brow creased, and his hold on your arm loosened.

“What?”

“I told Y/N to come here with me instead of going to the kitchen.”

“Henry,” you begged, and when his eyes flashed to yours, you mouthed, “What are you doing?”

He just stood a little taller, squaring his shoulders, and looked at Brenner.

“I take full responsibility, and I’m ready to face the consequences.”

Brenner’s fingers tightened around your arm for a second before he tossed you to the side. You toppled to the floor, and when you looked up, Brenner was towering over you.

“You got lucky this time,” he said before waving for two of the other orderlies to seize Henry.

Your stomach dropped as you watched the two men each grab one of Henry’s arms and haul him out of the room. Moments after they had exited, another orderly was sent in to escort you back to your room. But, when you got there, you didn’t relax. How could you when you knew that Brenner was practically torturing Henry as a form of sick punishment? The hours felt like years as you waited for Henry to sneak into your room like he did every night. But when he didn’t show up, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You cracked your door open, made sure the hallway was empty, then hurried off toward Henry’s room.

You were familiar with the path to him. It wasn’t the first time you had snuck out before. You padded down several hallways before you finally came upon his room. You opened the door just wide enough for you to slide inside, then shut it. The room was lit only by the tiny illumination from a nightlight plugged into the wall. At first, you weren’t even sure if he was in the room with you, but when your eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, you saw his balled-up figure on his bed. He was curled in the fetal position and not moving. You took a small step forward.

“Henry?”

You waited for him to respond, but the only answer you got was silence. Just when you thought he may not even be breathing, he sniffled, and your heart clenched in your chest at the sound. From where you stood, you couldn’t tell the extent of his injuries, so you cautiously approached Henry’s bed. When you finally got a clear look at him, you gasped. His shirt, which used to be white, was burned in several spots and smeared with blood. In the muted light, you thought you saw his body shaking, and could feel your heart shatter. The once confident man was gone and replaced with someone you couldn’t recognize. Someone who was defeated and frightened. You reached out to touch him but stopped short, afraid that if you even grazed his delicate skin, he would fall apart.

“Henry,” you whispered, his name sounding like thunder in the silence.

You reached out again, and this time you let your fingertips touch his arm. When they made contact, he flinched, causing you to retract. Tears brimmed your eyes as you watched him sit up, wincing with each deliberate movement. When he was fully upright, you got a good look at his face. His beautiful porcelain skin was littered with cuts and bruises that did not belong there. You had to bite back the sadness and anger that was trying to claw its way out of you. Henry leaned against the wall and huffed.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he said, his voice hoarse.

But it was as bad as it looked. Henry’s eyes were swollen, and there was dry blood all over his face. He couldn’t even move without being in pain. Your blood was boiling, and although you tried to control yourself, you couldn’t.

“No?” You snapped before pointing at his distressed shirt. “Take off your shirt.”

Henry froze for a second, then shook his head and tried to wave you off.

“Really,” he said, hissing as he readjusted himself, “I’m fine, Y/N.”

You plopped down in front of him and started unbuttoning his shirt.

“I wasn’t asking,” you muttered before undoing the last button and throwing his shirt over his shoulders.

When the thin fabric was removed, you sucked in a short breath, your hand shooting to your mouth. His body was defaced. A blend of colors from red to black to blue decorated his torso. He was covered with marks that looked like they came from a wild beast rather than the hands of men. Just looking at him, you could feel your heart breaking. He was in this condition because of you. Your mouth opened and closed several times before you could finally form words. You peeled your eyes away from his wounded body and shook your head.

“Why did you say that it was your idea earlier? Why did you take the blame?” You looked at his face, your voice gaining strength as anger and guilt built inside you. “I made the decision to go with you. This,” you motioned toward his abdomen, “this should have never happened to you.”

“But it should have happened to you?” Henry questioned, his words sharp.

You looked at him befuddled.

“Yes, Henry.”

He pushed himself off the wall, moving a little closer toward you, and scoffed.

“No. I did what needed to be done.” He dipped his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if Brenner did this to you.”

You let your eyes fall back to his chest. The cuts and gashes stood stark against his pale skin, and you couldn’t stand to see the man you loved in pain any longer.

“Let me heal you,” you stated.

Henry lifted his head to look at you again. In the darkness, his sharp features looked much softer. In that light, he wasn’t a man who had been scorned. No, he was the young boy you fell in love with all over again. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he just held your gaze, so you nodded.

“Let me heal you, Henry.”

His throat bobbled a little before he said, “Okay.”

You reached forward until you were touching his bare skin. Goosebumps pricked his skin at your touch. Your fingertips brushed over his abdomen, tracing every inch of him until you flattened your palm over his heart. You shut your eyes and exhaled slowly. Even through your closed eyelids, you could see your hand glowing a wonderful candescent yellow. The power emitting from you whirled around you and Henry. A wind that wasn’t present before you started healing him picked up. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know that your powers were working on him. One by one, you could feel his wounds healing. Finally, when the last lesion was closed up, you opened your eyes but didn’t remove your hand from Henry’s bare chest. He was staring at you, an unclear emotion dancing in his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

You bit your bottom lip, then swallowed your feelings down and nodded.

“Of course,” you said, reluctantly pulling your hand back to your lap. “You know I’ll always be here if anything ever happens to you.”

“I know.”

You didn’t look back at Henry. Instead, your eyes were glued to your hands wringing in your lap. You and Henry had spent many nights together, but there was something different about this one. All your feelings started an assault on your brain that you desperately tried to control. But, when you finally looked back at Henry, your defenses fell. His eyes, blue like the rarest sapphires, completely captivated you, and you knew you couldn’t hide anymore. “Henry,” you began but stopped when the fear bubbling in your stomach started to creep up your throat.

He leaned toward you even more than before.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

Your lips parted as you stared at him until you had the strength to go on.

“You always say it’s you and me. Ever since you got here, it’s always been you and me. Well, when Brenner took you today, I-I got scared because” you took in a shaky breath, “because I thought he was going to kill you. And judging by the extent of your wounds, he was just shy of doing it.” You started to fidget with Henry’s sheets, needing a way to release the nervous energy that was steadily building inside you.

“But I don’t want to be without you,” you began. “I can’t. I want to get out of here with you. I want to go visit all those places you used to show me when we were younger.”

Your cheeks were wet, and you didn’t know when you started to cry, but you didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“I want to experience life and freedom,” you said, throwing your arms in the air and heaving a huge sigh. “And I want to do it all with you because I love you, Henry.”

You dropped your head, the tiny droplets on your cheeks dropping onto the bed. Your mind was reeling. You thought you made a mistake until Henry cupped your cheeks and lifted your face. His thumbs wiped away the wet streaks on your cheeks, and his lips pulled into a smile.

“I love you too, Y/N. And I promise I will end your pain here. We will get out of here.”

His words were sincere. His thumb glided over your cheek again.

“It’s you and me, baby. Always.”

You nodded.

“Always.”

Then, Henry pulled your lips onto his with fervor. Your eyes shot open wide for a split second before you melted into the kiss. It was delicate but also frantic. Like it was the first and last time you’d ever be able to feel his lips against yours. It was passionate and untamed. Your fingers tangled in his hair as one of his hands slid to the back of your neck, and the other found your thigh. His fingers dug into your skin, and you knew you’d never be able to get that feeling out of your head. When he finally pulled back, you wanted to grab Henry’s face and reconnect your lips with his. You didn’t need oxygen anymore. All you wanted to do was breathe him in. You looked at Henry’s dilated pupils, and you could tell he wanted nothing more than to do the same thing you wanted. He lay back onto his bed and moved the comforter back, leaving as much space for you as possible. You didn’t even have to think about it as you crawled next to him. His arms curled around you, pulling you into his chest. The warmth of his bare chest on your back emanated throughout your body like you had just drank a fresh cup of hot chocolate. You knew you should have gotten up and gone back to your room. You knew that if Brenner caught the two of you together, it wouldn’t only be Henry who got punished. But you didn’t care. Even though the risk of getting caught was real, you trusted Henry. He would never let anything happen to you. So, instead of leaving, you leaned even closer to Henry and shut your eyes. To hell with Brenner.

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