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tciddaemina · 1 year

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If you don't mind me asking, what was the process of writing the thing that remains like? Idk, no pressure to answer or anything.

haha nah, i'm happy to answer. to be honest, the thing that remains was probably the hardest project that i've ever worked on, and one with that i struggle with a lot. don't get me wrong, i absolutely loved it and even now it is still my favorite out of every fic i have written, but like heck it gave me a time

(fuck this turned into a long response, so have a read more to spare all other poor passersby)

i spent the better part of three years working on it, essentially, and during that time i went through basically every scene in the manga which law shows up in with a fine tooth comb. not just trying to figure out what he said and did in any given moment, but looking at all the context around it to figure out what it was it was feeling, why he made any given decision he did. which is fun with law, because oda typically uses him for a sort of 'gotcha' type plot reveal in which he makes law look very ruthless and suspicious and often untrustworthy, doing stuff that seems to throw the straw hats under the bus, only to turn around a dozen chapters later and reveal the whole plot law had been building up, complete with flashback explanations

so like, there was a lot of reading back and forward looking at those reveals then heading back to piece together the clues that had been scattered in the lead up. which, yeah all this endless reading and fact-checking might sound like a chore, but honestly i really enjoyed it.

a lot of the time, i really thoroughly loved writing law. part of it is just because he's just honest to god so dramatic. he's cynical and he's jaded and he's so done with everything. he needs a cup of coffee and a nap at all times and shit keeps piling up in his lap anyway, and watching him crack under pressure and steadily give less and less fucks was just so fun. things like his fight scene with vergo, and the one with doflamingo, i had so much fun with the sheer emotion and intensity in those, you can't even imagine.

and yeah, working with luffy was also a very fun part to write. luffy's a character thats much easier to write from an outside POV rather than an internal one, but i still spent a lot of time in luffy's headspace trying to figure out how he'd react to any given thing - when we get the moments of silliness and shenanigans, when it is he turns intense and we see that sharper more insightful side of him. there's a lot of fun stuff to write there with luffy just catching law off guard, both by him being silly and him being serious, and having law have to process and deal with the fallout of any given emotional breakthrough luffy has forced on him was just also very fun

cuz like - half of why the fic is so long and so slow burn is because law just spends so much time thinking. their entire relationship rests on a foundation of law having to come to terms with survivors guilt, that he can and should continue to be happy and live despite the things that he has lost, and the very fraught decision about whether to open himself up to further vulnerability and let himself care about people. every step he concedes into his relationship with luffy is a philosophical debate that changes the way he is choosing to live his life. a lot of the fic is actually just how laws experiences and traumas growing up - the people he lost, both his family and cora - have shaped the man he is today and the lasting effects that has on his personality and character.

and again, you would think that would be the hard agonizing thing to write, but really it wasn't. i loved writing that stuff as well.

the thing is though, this fic took a lot of time. its 220k long, i spent weeks writing it, months, hours and hours and hours, and whenever i wasn't working on it, it was always on my mind. at any given time for the duration of three years, a part of my thoughts was always dedicated to it. it was such a dedication of effort and commitment and just sheer brain space that it honestly feels like i gave birth to and raised a child.

still, the length and duration of it alone meant that yeah, there were times where i got very bad writers block while working on it and times i didn't touch it for months at a time. i struggled with some chapters a lot, just never quite feeling they were right until i rewrote them again and again. i rewrote the opening scene in the first chapter three times after it was posted, for example, each time just changing it minor ways and making edits to the dialogue, because i wasn't satisfied.

some chapters, when i was working on them, took upwards of three or four complete rewrites of the chapter, just because i kept getting stuck and not being satisfied with it. to be honest, this was much more a phenomenon of the later chapters of the fic, when it reaches the wano arc, because that's where i started having to put in a lot of my own concepts and events, since the manga was still in progress for that section. like, the kaido/big-mom/luffy and them on the dome fight was still in progress when i wrote the chapter with that fight - and so i incorporated a lot of the details that were coming out in the new chapters into it even as i wrote it, before ultimately finishing it my own way, since it hadn't reached its conclusion in the manga yet by that point.

ultimately though, the chapters that i had the most difficulty with were the post-kaidou defeat wano chapters. like, when everything's settled and its just playing out the aftermath and the culmination of luffy and law's relationship. those chapters killed me. i spent weeks rewriting each, creating a timeline of possible events again and again and then redoing it, modifying it, shuffling it round, trying to just make things feel right.

a lot of that struggle came down to just trying to get a characterization of law and luffy that felt right in those romantic scenes. law and luffy were each characters i knew well how to write by then, but oh my god getting them to actually be like romantic together is like herding cats. luffy's mode of being is so wholesome and, well, asexual (and yes that's a valid head-canon, though i didn't use it for this series) that making the scenes happen takes some very very specific maneuvering and tone management. like, not going to lie, that is what caused half the rewrites of those chapters, just me trying to make it all feel right and well-characterized.

(which is why i sometimes find it a little disheartening when people leave comments being like - oh i liked it, but i wish luffy had been ace. because i made a choice to have him not to be specifically. i get it, he's a beautiful ace character, and i enjoy him that way as well, i do. hell, i'm fucking ace, give me ace rep any day of the week, but him not being ace was a side i wanted to explore in this fic, and i did a lot of work to make it happen and make it feel right, so having people comment on that is just- okay, on a tangent now, moving on. see here for my more in depth thoughts on luffy's sexuality)

another part that added difficulty there was just the pressure. not from like the readers or anything, but i had spent 3 years and 200k words leading up to these big payoff scenes where they finally get together and their relationship becomes a thing that there was a lot of internal pressure from myself to get it right. like, i needed them to be good, i needed them to be perfect, i'd been working so long to get to the moment where these scenes could be written that writing even a single sentence was exhausting. i agonized over each sentence, i work-shopped each paragraph again and again. it took so much effort that even just writing a tiny bit felt like writing entire pages, just because i was thinking so much about it.

and like, yeah, that final stretch, dealing with that, was really what was the most difficult when writing the fic. its an odd feeling, sort of, because even as i was really struggling to write it, those were also scenes i was really enjoying. like there was a real sense of masochism to it - of writing these bits that were excruciating in the amount of effort and criticality that went into them - but also like, the joy of having law and luffy finally reach that point after all the stuggles they went through, and getting to the moment of payoff when law really and truly opens up and decides to risk his heart on luffy.

it was so fun to write, so fun, but also fuck me i was exhausted the whole time. putting up the final chapters actually sort of felt a little bit like dying - not just because i was really nervous about whether they would do justice and be the good payoff for this fucking huge work readers had been following, but also just because i didn't know what to do with myself afterwards. i spent so long thinking about or working on that fic, literally for years, that when it was done i just felt sort of hollow inside. i didn't know what to do with myself.

and yeah, i've moved on to other projects that i'm happily chewing away on now, lot least me being in a neck-deep spiral of gan/link LoZ fic, but the thing that remains is still that fic. its the longest fic ive ever completely, the one i've put the most effort and blood and sweat and tears into, and it holds a place in my heart that no other one of my stories does.

tl:dr the thing that remains is a fic that i had a lot of fun writing, like so much fun, it was absolutely fantastic and i loved ever moment, but also sometimes putting words to paper was like pulling teeth and by the time i was done it felt like the same amount of effort as if i'd torn off my own arm and fed it into an incinerator one atom at a time.

so yeah, hope that answers your question 😅

#note in a box #asks #the thing that remains #my writing #honestly thank you for the question #its not often i get to talk about the behind the scenes of writing that fic #so its nice that someone wanted to hear about it #anyway sorry if the reply was a bit long #i apparently had a lot of things to say #one piece #law/luffy #fanfiction

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aaluminiumas · 3 years

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Millstones

Shanks openly relished the pirate life: he could name one hundred reasons to become a buccaneer, and that oh-so-proverbial One Piece every rookie dreamt about wouldn’t be listed among the first thirty. This man loved listening to waves rustling; he could spend hours admiring the landscape while holding the ship’s wheel and staring into nowhere – but with the same zeal he threw himself into battle standing up for his friends and crewmates. And a good fight is sure to be celebrated by a downpour of sake, a loud burst of laughter and a couple of brazen jokes around the campfire somewhere far away. Isn’t it what happiness is all about?

He long forgot the place he called home. Was it a little windswept archipelago somewhere in the middle of the Grand Line? Or, perhaps, a bustling city that never sleeps? Or, probably, a tiny village on the outskirts of the Goa Kingdom where he tended to return in attempt to remember the good old times and to order a mug of sake while singing a song unanimously with other frequenters?..

Red-haired Shanks grunted under his breath and turned the ship to the left. Out of the corner of the eye the man caught the glimpse of a sea king coming to the surface. Oddly enough, this one didn’t pay the slightest attention to them: the creature had either managed to devour another crew chasing Gol D. Roger’s treasure, or simply took no notice of the vessel. Making sure the ruthless animal swam away, the pirate consulted his log pose – and in a couple of seconds he spotted the familiar sky-line of the Goa Kingdom: a city surrounded by a thick wall with a swarm of windmills in the distance. They moved in the same fashion, clockwise, peacefully and steadily, filling the air with quiet and mollifying creaking everybody was accustomed to. Even the fragrance of this wonderful place was unique: clear, slightly salty and dusty as if abundant in flour that never trickled out of the millstones completely.

Long time ago – a whole eternity ago! – he saved Luffy from a sea king and lost his arm in the process. A ridiculous price for a funny kid who managed to create problems whenever he went naively smiling all the way. Shanks couldn’t put his finger on his behavior: how dared this child roughly as tall as his leg challenge someone much stronger! But despite his obvious paternal affection for the brave boy, there was definitely something else that attracted him to the tavern not far from the biggest windmill.

Although Shanks didn’t have his own kids, he as well as his crew enjoyed talking to Luffy days on end telling unbelievable stories about their adventures. The lad whose eyes were beaming with anticipation caught every word evincing sheer awe and reverence. Listening to the pirates, he imagined himself to be one, and didn’t even doubt he would be lucky enough to get into a bit of a scrape to fight back any offender.

But Luffy wasn’t the only one who delighted pirate tales. The hostess of the tavern, calm and light-hearted Makino, dwelled on every word spoken as if she herself were a little girl. She knew she wouldn’t exchange her settled life for the fierce and unpredictable ocean but the exciting fables soon interwove into her daily routine turning into a significant part of the world she lived in. Every evening Shanks dropped in at the tavern, ordered a whole barrel of sake for his crew – and laughed, recalling the most mind-blowing events that took everybody’s breath away. These were miraculous days, weren’t they?

The red-haired man grinned to himself recollecting the night when Makino, who just started wiping off plates, ventured to ask an odd question – he needed a solid minute to ponder over it and give her a decent reply.

“Shanks-san,” she called him quietly and put the plates on a shelf feeling sheepish, “Aren’t you…” the woman raised her eyes to audaciously look at him, “Aren’t you afraid? Aren’t you scared at all?”

He thought for a second, sipped on his drink and adjusted the straw hat that hadn’t yet made its way to Luffy. “Afraid,” he finally deduced and pushed his mug aside, “But not for myself.”

Shanks turned his head in the direction of his friends stuffing themselves with meat and arguing about mermaids. Someone began to sing – slightly out of tune, –and the rest cheerfully took up, though not unanimously at all. The woman got perplexed for a moment or two – and, amazed to a fault, kept staring at the visitor in the straw hat not fully comprehending what he meant by this.

The man laughed, “Just imagine what kind of mess Luffy can make when we sails away! He’s ready to challenge a sea king to prove his strength and audacity,” Shanks bestowed a broad smile on her folding his hands on the table, “But I believe one day he’ll become more cauti–”

At this very moment, ‘the cautious kid’ caused a huge knife to fall. Luffy was about to yell at the top of his lungs – but immediately noticed the heaven-sent hand of the red-haired man and closed his cry-contorted mouth. His orbs sparkled – the boy got charmed again.

However, it wasn’t the only time Makino asked bizarre questions: she was genuinely enthralled by his lifestyle even though she never wanted to be a pirate. He liked that disclosed interest, curiosity to the foreign world of his, and bit by bit such discussions created a tight bond of friendship between them which somewhat impelled the crewmates to shamelessly tease their captain – not unkindly, of course. His comrades didn’t mean anything bad – they simply relished the sight of the normally collected hostess who now smiled meekly and blushed slightly. Taking it as a certain sign, the captain cut the jokes short with a loud laugh and another mug of sake.

Thing ran their course.

It’s been quite some time since then… Ace died almost two years ago, Luffy is already up in arms, and the millstones are working just as steadily, turning wheat into flour. When did he visit the place last time?.. It was simply indecent on his part considering the amount of time he spent there. Is the mayor just as grumpy and meticulous as he used to be? And what about that bandit, Dadan, Luffy told so much about? Is she doing fine? And the tavern where he hung out so often with his crew, is it in the same place?..

For a moment the red-haired man yielded to a vague feeling of nostalgia: the reminiscences goaded him to squeeze out a lopsided grin, and the decision he’d recently made, got its shape: the yonko was absolutely sure of the actions he was about to perform.

“Welcome to the Goa Kingdom!” he declared in a stentorian voice turning to face his boatswain ready to comply with the ensuing command. “Time to have some fun, guys!”

This order was met by a loud explosion of shenanigans: they’d just savored a good fight, and now they were eager to live it up.

*** “Makino been at ‘ome fo’ a week already,” a sprightly old lady reported to Shanks while giving hearty slaps to presumptuous pirates. “’er boy got ill. But drop in at ‘er place anyway, she’ll be ‘appy to see ya. It isn’t too fa’ from ‘ere… Bah! Where ya goin’ bone’ead?!” the old crone quacked and hit someone with a beer mug she was holding. “So, just ‘ound the corne’… those gates. Damn you, Satan!”

The red-haired pirate grinned at the educational methods that old woman employed, gave her a golden coin and left the tavern. His feet brought him directly to the neat small house with huge flower beds in front. The man didn’t get what the bartender meant by ‘her boy got ill’ but the galvanic yearning for the past demanded new memories and Makino indeed was an integral part of the time he spent here and needed so desperately. Shanks automatically noticed that he became the center of attention: those who didn’t know he used to visit the village raked their brains as to why one of the yonkos decided to come while his friends, along with the mayor, were genuinely joyous to see him and greeted the man asking for how long he planned to stay. There were others, suspicious ones, who revealed their growing displeasure and apprehension – but they tended to avoid any eye-contact with the guest.

Makino’s cottage looked even smaller when he approached it: the house reminded him of the tiny huts he saw at the Pigmy Island but seemed solid enough to handle a powerful hurricane. Shanks couldn’t recollect whether he ever paid visits to his friends: there was no point doing it as they met at the tavern every evening to discuss recent local news And now… he felt almost embarrassed.

He knocked – and heard a clear voice.

“Wait a minute!” Makino was certainly busy, “I’m ̶ Shanks-san?!”

Opening the door, Makino froze at the sight of the man at the threshold: the young woman was holding a hefty bundle with a sniffing baby – with the free hand, she tried to do her hair.

“Are you here for long..?” she attempted to atone, her lips smiling irresolutely.

“No… I dunno.”

She adjusted her son to hold him comfortably, pushed the door open and stepped aside letting the guest in. Despite their common past where no one hid anything from the other, currently both of them felt perplexed and confused: Shanks realized he came amiss, and Makino simply didn’t expect to see the man she used to read about emerging in her tiny cottage. Since he became a yonko, she stopped waiting for his loud visits: a man of importance like him – even if a pirate, – probably had more significant affairs to deal with than singing songs somewhere in a godforsaken village.

Closing the door behind him, the young woman unswathed the parcel and made sure the baby felt better. In a moment, she placed him on the floor and gave him his favorite toy – a plush parrot which was immediately seized by a viselike grip of two chubby hands.

“How you doing?” the pirate asked nonchalantly perusing the modest, spick and span room and finally swiveling his eyes to look at the roly poly tyke crawling around. “What a swashbuckling lady replaced you,” he mentioned with a short laugh. “She’s a real smasher. Can kick anyone out of the pub!”

“Oh… Kagurumi-san… she has her own approach to problem clients,” Makino gave out a small but nonetheless genuine smile bit by bit getting accustomed to his company and his manners that didn’t change at all. “What about you? Have you seen Luffy? I’ve read something in a newspaper but… since he… since… that day I heard a number of things but I am not sure what exactly should be trusted.”

“Luffy’s fine. He’s coped with Ace’s death and is ready to make a scoop and win all front pages,” Shanks said firmly instantly getting the facts straight and calling it the way he saw it – he had to be the reasonable one even though Makino had a hard time speaking about the situation. “Don’t worry about him: he’s already striving to get in trouble.” The yonko broke into a smile, sat down on the sofa and pointed to the boy with a subtle nod of his head: the kid had been playing with the dark cloth of Shanks’ coat probably considering it a better toy. “What’s his name?” “Kenta. Kenta, don’t touch it.” Her delicate hand tenderly brushed across the plump fingers. “No.”

“Why not?” the man’s smile grew even broader, and he sat the boy in his lap. “How old ‘re ye, pal?”

“Not… too much.”

The conversation dragged. Makino clearly felt reluctant to discuss her personal life: she was either afraid of mocking and misunderstanding, or instinctively realized she had fallen in love with the man who kept her company during those long nights at the tavern filled with stories about other islands and seas. She loved his tales and his smile; she adored his laugh and sonorous voice – she even found herself enchanted by his manners sufficiently graceful for a pirate. But the woman never thought it could go further anytime soon. Don’t friends see each other as beautiful, kind people? Don’t they acknowledge the best in one another? Don’t they admire each other?..

The woman sat there, motionless and calm, but it was obvious she couldn’t ease the tension even though she tried to seem friendly.

“If I’m unwanted here, I’ll go,” Shanks spotted her nervousness and adjusted the collar of his coat, evidently about to stand up. “We happened to be around, so of course everyone was eager to remember the best moments of the past… to have a look at good ol’ Windmill. I’m sorry if I meddled in.” he said in the same light-hearted voice not holding any grudge against her.

She replied by a tender, smooth gesture – the woman put her hand onto his shoulder. Kenta, not paying attention to his mother’s agitation, examined the stranger awkwardly standing up and trying to reach the flaming red hair. The man looked so extraordinary – he never met anyone like this among his mom’s guests.

“We all were shocked when… this happened,” the smile faded away for a second, and the eyes got hazy. “I mean, Ace and Whitebeard's death. When Garp came, even Dadan wasn’t her usual self – you remember, that mountain bandit who raised Luffy and… the rest.” She didn’t dare call Ace by the name the second time. “But bit by bit everything’s falling into place, and… if Luffy did it, we will succeed too.” The woman stated in the voice laced with confidence, her bright eyes staring at Shanks. “The whole world is reconstructing, and we are not an exception, fortunately or unfortunately. We have to adapt as well. Thankfully, Goa isn’t the place every single pirate darts to conquer, so everything’s more or less quiet here.” Makino eventually managed to get rid of stiffness. “What about you? How are you, Shanks-san?..”

“Whitebeard’s death is definitely a tragedy for everyone,” he drawled pensively automatically playing with Makino’s son. “And it did multiply the number of problems to deal with. But we’re still trying to live the same way and to do whatever we did before the new era: to have fun, to fight and to drink.” He let out another laughter and brought Kenta up to his shoulder. “Look, what a rider you have here!”

The boy giggled and hugged the pirate by the neck.

Makino slightly blushed. “He… likes you. He doesn’t normally trust people so easily but you seem to make a good impression. I’m afraid he’s going to chase you just like Luffy!” she shook her head in a histrionic reproach.

“So Windmill is going to have a pirate dynasty? Our future Pirate King will be happy to know there’s someone to inherit the skills!”

All of a sudden the mood lightened by itself: Makino released herself and relaxed, cheerfully laughing at the crass jokes he always spilled. The balance restored into the universe: the woman no longer shied away from the guest and honestly replied to his simple questions; she even mentioned what she used to be doing before his visit to the village. He listened to her carefully catching every word, japed and reminisced on certain occasions that came to his mind. Sometimes, making Kenta participate in the confabulation, Shanks questioned him as well just to hear a short ‘yea’ or displeased sniff.

The day was declining, but even after lulling her son to sleep, Makino didn’t intend to part ways with the man who returned just to say hello and to check up on her.

“Have you… rented anything?” she requested quietly, taking off her bandanna protecting her head from the burning sun. “If not, you can stay over. Of course if you don’t mind.” She hurried to add wondering whether she’d gone too far.

Shanks quirked his eyebrows and scratched the tip of his nose. “Why not?.. If anything I should pay a little bit more attention to my closest friend. In fact, I was kinda scared I frightened you.” He noticed undoing the laces of his coat.

She emitted a soft laugh grabbing the outerwear off his hand and hanging it on a peg. “I’m not afraid of you, I’m afraid of the changes you’re bringing along,” she answered simply. “But now I understand that we are… protected. We have nothing to be scared of with a friend like you,” Makino said in whisper, in a barely audible tone. Not switching on the lights, she dared give the guest a bear hug – even though it was evanescent and ephemeral, she managed to express her emotions the best way she could – with innate modesty and chastity. “Thank you. If only had I known how to thank you properly…”

Shanks caught her fingers and pressed the narrow pale hand to his lips. “You have provided a shelter. A pirate wouldn’t even dream about a bigger thing.” He let go off her hand and pulled away from her, his smile friendly and cordial and yet exposing some unknown fatigue Makino had never come across before.

“Good night, Makino. I am glad to know we are friends regardless our long separation. You know, it’s so disrespectful of us to keep each other in the dark. But we didn’t have a choice!” he made a helpless gesture with his hand and disappeared in the room she had prepared for him to immediately fall into deep slumber.

And the hostess after putting her son’s toys in the box, shook her head and covered Shanks with a blanket: the nights may grow cold, and he certainly had enough of chilling wind on board. He deserved the comfort of the settled life he willingly rejected – he would never get used to that anyway…

#one piece #shanks #shanks x makino #makino #op #fanfic #fanfiction

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