#anyway here’s a story about how hollywood wants to kill you.
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working title: gold dust road
working long hours in a boardinghouse in depression-era california, lily may brown dreams of escaping to the bright lights of hollywood. but before she can hitch a ride, a massive earthquake rattles her right off to a fantastic faraway land, one that looks a whole lot like everything she’s ever wanted. behind the dazzle and gleam, though, danger lurks around every turn, and lily must learn to see past all that glitters if she ever hopes to reach the end of the road.
the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true…
#broke: alice in w*nderland retellings#woke: alice through the look*ng glass retellings#bespoke: w*zard of oz retellings#transported to a magical faraway land that is also a mirror/projection of this one it’s the best of both worlds!!!#anyway here’s a story about how hollywood wants to kill you.#wip#my stuff#ok to rb
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— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for March 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup. You can find all our other posts here.
Happy reading!
＊ Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa [T, 6k, Louis/Harry]
Immediately after the words left his mouth, Louis wanted to face palm himself. Nerves always brought out joking as a deflection technique, it was almost an instinct.
Harry only looked up long enough to reply with a flat, “no,” before turning back to his book.
“Alright,” Louis said, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll, uh… leave you to it.”
OR Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts
＊ The Room Thief by @2tiedships2 [NR, 12k, Harry/Louis]
Louis: Can I come over? Need your help.
Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it.
Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch?
Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW.
Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.
When Louis comes home and is confronted by his knothead alpha flatmates, he knows it won’t result in anything good, but he didn’t expect to be left homeless, effective immediately. He definitely didn’t expect to fall for the specific knothead who stole his room.
＊ Half Agony, Half Hope by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox [E, 33k+, wip, Louis/Harry]
Harry had never believed the rumors of the beast at the manor on the hill. They sounded like something from Twilight or an old Hollywood horror film, a beautiful man who turned into a beast once a month and killed anyone who was unlucky enough to be stuck on the manor’s grounds.
Yeah, right. The manor was probably just creepy and old. Besides, it’s not like he had anything else to do.
Harry's had enough of his shit year. Had enough of his shit ex and the fact that he graduated from university with no idea what to do next or what to do with the grief. Ed dares him to spend a month at the crumbling Tomlinson manor, and Harry goes cause what else do you do when your life's fallen apart?
It's not really haunted anyway... is it?
＊ when the time is right by refusethyname / @refusethyname28 [E, 146k, Harry/Louis]
“Do you live in the cabin by yourself?” Louis then decided to ask.
“I do, well sort of, I have a cat.”
“A cat?” Louis then asked and Harry nodded happily.
“She’s a precious thing, but she always leaves me for this one customer who is staying at one of the cabins. His name is Tomlin-something, I can’t really recall,” Harry said, causing Louis to chuckle this time. The singer shook his head at Harry’s comment and smiled brightly at him. Harry was truly something else and Louis’ heart fluttered.
“He sounds like an absolute arse if he steals your cat,” Louis chuckled and Harry shook his head at that.
“On the contrary, he is extremely thoughtful, didn’t even mind it too much when I spilled my hot tea over him, how is your stomach by the way?” Harry then asked.
“If this is your way of trying to get me to undress again,” Louis joked and Harry’s cheeks grew bright red. The younger man started stammering some incoherent things and quickly averted his gaze, which Louis thought was absolutely adorable.
Or the cabin fic where falling in love underneath the northern lights only leads to heartbreak.
＊ I Found the Earth (Not Leaving Now) by mmaree / @zqua1d [M, 34k, Zayn/Liam]
Liam watches the ball of light as it traces the sky then starts to dip below the tree-line. It’s larger than any shooting star he has ever seen before.
He makes a wish.
Alien Zayn + Human Liam | A love story inspired by the song “If I Got You”
＊ Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet by flamboyo / @riverswater [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]
“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.”
Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.
＊ Scared That My Worst is the Best That I’ve Got by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [M, 5k, Harry/Louis]
So while Louis’ proposition is preposterous, it’s also the only compromise his brain seems willing to make at the moment.
Harry slowly raises his head to look at Louis. He’s standing on the other side of the kitchen, elbow resting casually on the edge of the counter next to the sink. His expression is soft and patient, and there’s delicate morning sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows behind him, setting his outlined silhouette aglow. He looks like an angel.
An angel in an old oversized adidas jumper with tattoos on his knuckles, but an angel all the same.
Harry’s voice comes out mumbled and much smaller than he’d like, but it is what it is. As Louis always says.
“Just shampoo?”
(Or five times Louis saves Harry from himself, and one time when Louis is the one that needs the saving).
＊ I’ll tell you something (I hope you’ll understand) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]
Louis insists that Harry stay off her phone and in the safety of Louis' room rather than risk moping in her own texting her ex-boyfriend. When Harry agrees on one condition, Louis' safe night in could become something else entirely.
＊ sunshine, baby! by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 106k, Harry/Louis]
Louis was the first one down the row for their group. If he hadn’t been they would have never met.
He was turned around, walking backwards and saying to Liam, “No, I’ll get you to a real footie match next,” when he bumped into someone.
“Oops,” Louis laughed, tripping over his own feet. A hand curled around his upper arm as he nearly fell over the seat in front of him. “Sorry about that, mate.”
He turned around, still teetering in his vans, to apologize again, but the words dried in his throat. Another hand gripped his other elbow, steadying him, but all Louis could see were green eyes and dimples.
“Hi,” the man laughed, a bright, bubbling sound. “Are you okay?”
Or Louis is in his first year of law school, Harry is a junior on the swim team dreaming of the Olympics, and they both agree that they don't have time for anything more than friends with benefits... right?
- Podfics -
＊ Truth or Drink by @kingsofeverything read by @podfic-pals [M, 6k, Louis/Harry]
Truth or Drink | Exes
Harry and Louis broke up years ago, and they're seeing each other again for the first time to play Truth or Drink. On camera.
#28th appreciation#hlcreators#hljournal#hltracks#trackinghome#trackinghappily#tracksintheam#1dficvillage#1dsource
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Hey would you mind sharing what the real point of jekyll and hyde is that Hollywood missed? I have never read the book
You just made my night actually THANK YOU
Long so it’s under a cut :)
(you should totally read the book, it’s not super long and it’s actually really good)
okay tw murder and suicide and like. Violence I guess. It’s a psychological thriller from the Victorian era idk what y’all expect
Alright here’s the part where I admit I’ve never seen a Jekyll and Hyde movie but I HAVE seen various iterations of him in pop culture monster movies where he’s some quirky background character yknow?? The pop culture idea of this guy is kind of wild
First things first!!! Pop culture would have you believe that Dr. Jekyll has a wife or a girlfriend or some shit that Mr. Hyde wants to ravage or cheat on or whatever!! This is false because the only female characters in the entire book are a little girl who gets trampled to establish how Evil Hyde Is and a woman who calls the cops after witnessing a murder as she took a smoke break on a balcony. Neither one of them even has a name :) this is a book with NO BITCHES okay??? There’s barely even any men
Important Character round up!
Mr. Utterson the Lawyer (most of the book is from his viewpoint)
Dr. Lanyon (a friend to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Utterson)
Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (respected Chemist/criminal)
Poole the butler <3
And that’s IT.
Okay there’s also some parliament guy who gets murdered but like whatever. He’s just there to get killed. Bye.
So a very basic plot synopsis is that Mr. Utterson is the guy in charge of Dr. Jekyll’s Will. Because of this he happens to be sort-of-friends with Jekyll because neither of them really have many friends. They’re also both friends with Dr. Lanyon.
Mr. Utterson first becomes aware of Mr. Hyde as a person who exists when a friend (unimportant) of his tells him about this guy who trampled a little girl. Obviously this is fucked up, but the friend has more to the story. Bystanders didn’t let this guy just trample a little girl, they demanded compensation so that she could pay a doctor to help her. Hyde went to a door (which the friend points out bc he and Utterson are on a walk) and makes out a check under the name of Jekyll. And so Utterson is like. Huh what
He goes home and looks at Jekyll’s Will, and Hyde is the guy set to get all his stuff if Jekyll disappears!! And so Utterson is like well that doesn’t make sense for MY friend the Extremely Respected Chemist. So naturally he’s curious and goes poking in that polite Victorian way.
It turns out Hyde lives in Soho but is a FREQUENT visitor to Jekyll’s house, has a key and all the servants know him etc. nobody knows how he and Jekyll met and they’re all a little afraid to ask.
And then there’s a year long timeskip actually. Utterson asked and Jekyll said “yeah don’t worry about it :)” and then we just skip a year.
We come back because Mr parliament gets MURDERED in what seems to be a crime of passion by a certain Mr. Hyde. Like the fact that the guy killed was in parliament was a complete coincidence. I keep meaning to look up the guys name to see if he was a real guy who was just really hated or something but I never get around to it. Anyway. Hyde beats him to death with his cane.
OH YEAH. Break hang on.
HERES THE OTHER THING HOLLYWOOD FUCKS UP THAT I ALMOST FORGOT!!! Hyde is not Hulk!!! He’s not big he has no muscles he’s literally an itty bitty guy!! He’s described as “particularly small”, “little man”, “of small stature”. He’s tiny!!! Truly exemplifying that short people are closer to the devil etc whatever he’s itty bitty and super fucking mean like the worlds worst chihuahua given human form.
Alright back to PLOT
The police recognize Hyde pretty much from the witness description of him, and Utterson is like “well that’s easy I Know Where He Lives” but they can’t find him even though his neighbors all sell him out and they literally go to his place in Soho.
So Utterson goes to ask his good friend Jekyll, who he knows is close with Hyde, where the fuck his buddy is!!! And Jekyll is having like a full on nervous breakdown at this point. Jekyll swears that he’s “done with” Hyde and “he will never more be heard of”. He’s sweating and shaking and generally looking like he’s on drugs or something.
Hyde conveniently left a letter to Jekyll (wow!!) that basically said he had fled the country and thanks for being his friend this whole time :) Utterson has a lil convo with Jekyll where he becomes convinced that since all of Jekyll’s stuff went to Hyde if he disappeared that Hyde was planning to murder Jekyll but the heat from killing a member of parliament had scared him off so Jekyll is safe now. If what Utterson thought was happening was what was ACTUALLY happening this would probably be where the story ends. But NO. First bc Utterson hired a guy to analyze the handwriting on the letter from Hyde to Jekyll and the guy (literally named Mr. Guest) was like “yeah this is Jekyll writing with a different slant idk who he’s fooling” and so Utterson is now convinced that Jekyll is covering for Hyde for some reason
And SECOND because jekyll starts acting like a crazy person. Poole the butler shows up at Utterson’s house one day like “hey my boss is freaking me out and also his voice changed?? I think Hyde is living in his room and pretending to be jekyll”
So naturally they bust into his locked room with an axe. Like you do. It’s not his bedroom it’s like his chemistry room idk they just call it his cabinet but it’s Clearly Some Kind of Lab. Anyway they find Hyde’s dead body on the floor <3 he has pretty explicitly killed himself with cyanide.
They also find a couple letters, which make up the rest of the book.
The first one is from Dr. Lanyon (remember Lanyon?). Lanyon writes all about how Jekyll started acting like a crazy person and had him deliver a drawer (like, pulled out of a dresser and full of chemicals) from Jekyll’s cabinet to Hyde, who Lanyon has never met. The description is this part is actually really good, you can tell it’s Hyde who shows up to meet Lanyon even though it never says his name. This is the part where he mixes the chemicals like the worlds worst smoothie and then fucking Shapeshifts back into Jekyll right in front of Lanyon :) why did he Do this. At this point in the story we are hearing this from Lanyon’s letter instead of Lanyon himself because Lanyon fucking Died when it was still Uttersons pov and didn’t tell anyone what he had learned?? He thought nobody would believe him ig but he tells Utterson he has had a shock and will die within a few weeks and then he literally Does. Like what the fuck man.
The next letter is from Jekyll!! It is a confession of how exactly Hyde came to be AND WHY.
Look me in the eyes. THIS IS THE PART POP CULTURE GETS COMPLETELY WRONG!!!!!!
Jekyll, being a well respected Member of Society, wanted to expunge himself of all evil desires by splitting himself into two people, one who is good and one who is evil. He manages to make a chemical potion of some kind that lets him shift between two bodies. Here’s where the text will get you: Jekyll is an unreliable narrator.
IT DOESNT WORK!!!!! He claims that Hyde immediately felt more evil but was shocked when he switched back to Jekyll and didn’t feel any different than before. Jekyll is still just as good and JUST AS EVIL as before he downed his magic shapeshifting potion!! Jekyll didn’t invent a second, more evil form, he invented a mask he could hide behind that let him escape all accountability for his actions.
And you know the most damning proof?? The switch has started happening without him drinking the potion. He will go to sleep as Jekyll and wake up as Hyde, and it’s taking more and more doses to turn back into Jekyll. At the time he writes the letter, he is permanently stuck as Hyde, but the letter is from JEKYLL and laments the guilt he feels for actions done as Hyde. He condemns Hyde as if that IS a separate person!! But Hyde has the same mind and should that Jekyll does, just a different face, and Jekyll is lying to himself.
Anyway that’s what happens in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It’s all about this lawyer dealing with the most Batshit series of events a client has ever made him deal with <3
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DEADASS old man shang tsung should be loved more
Like mk legends shang tsung specifically is absolutely delicious.
(Minus some things like not really showing his treachery to shao kahn. Like it's playing a bit too safe in the cunning department. And honestly makes it look like he's a sinp for shao kahn when he fucking wasn't and hated his guts and would happily stab shao in the back 1000 times over if you ask him and given him the opportunity to. And not to mention it's so convenient around plot. And i hate that. Because honestly holy shit this shang had potential. He had the presence,the aura,but never really shown to fight. And it sucks. Because shang is supposed to be a beast in kombat. He was a fucking boss after all. Like gdi nrs. Why you gotta fumble this guy so hard?! Like the writing is right there!)
Anyways. Old man shang. Let's get back to that.
The reason why i feel old man shang or at least how shang tsung IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
This mofo is cursed. To age. Less he takes the lifeforce/souls of others Because he decided to say "fuck you elder gods! Imma take your ritual healing dark magics and apply it to kombat. Imma take this shit and make it my own!" DEADASS a Dracula energy/soul vampire. Like this man despite everything,still could whoop your ass because he is fucking 500yrs old! From old dynasty china. In earthrealm. Yeah.
This man used to be a warrior from earthrealm,got into beef with raiden,and said fuck you im switching sides as soon as he caught whiff of an opportunity to(at least in his mind at the time) be treated "better" (which he really wasn't as better off,maybe even worse,but he had some power and some better standing tho at a cost)
Like you could take shang tsung in many ways. But all in all he doesn't need to be twirly mustache to be evil. Nor does he need to be good or "SOME GODS PLAYTHING!" to be righteous or do honorable things.
Legitimately mofo shang tsung as an old man should be written as a person who comes off as uncannily and eerily calm,a air of danger but you can't really run away nor want to. You're too damn curious even tho you're screaming inside to run. He needs that true fucking snake vibe.
Very few people have written and portrayed this successfully. And tagawa pioneered that well vibe for villains imho. (Tho the man was unfortunately typecasted by Hollywood this man by god set the bar high. He did it so damn well. He put his whole heart into this. And honestly out of all his roles,this was the most notorious of his roles. Tho i hope this man gets more leisure roles and happier roles in the future. And eventually has a safe,and peaceful retirement. He deserves it. Fr. Thank you Mr. Tagawa seriously. <3 )
Artt butler did a fantastic job with shang tsung,tho given a better script it would be better.
Same with alan lee. I feel his would have made me like it more if fans and story weren't shit.
But all in all shang tsung being rejuvenated and young is nice. And should be shown especially since he is cursed. But his default,unpopular opinion here but. His old man form should be his default look. If not old man old man,then a but of salt n pepper at bare minimum.
Honestly,shang i prefer at his old man look because thats what i well grew up on. And that's kinda how i see him. 🤷♀️ *shrug*
Like guy is a flashier more fancy pai mei from Tarantino's kill bill to me. Maybe slightly bit more nicer and considerate but not by much. Lol.
I could go on and on about old man shang tsung specifically. But I'll leave this at.
Honestly we just need to bring him back. We need to bring back shang tsung with that vibe. We need to not make him conveniently made for plot. No give me the shang tsung that i fucking knew.
That bastard needs to make a comeback. And mk11 can't be the only game that he does it in.
And mk legends can't be the only media outside the games that does it either.
Anyways,old man shang. I love this foxy grandpa.
#mortal kombat#self ship#self shipping#shang tsung#💚heart and soul🐍#shang tsung mortal kombat#mk f/o#antagonist f/o#villain f/o#villain/antagonist f/o#old man shang tsung#old man shang superiority#foxy grandpa#one foxy gilf#i love one sexy old man#❤🐉the dragon's perch🐉❤#mk legends shang tsung#mortal kombat legends shang tsung#mortal kombat legends#mk legends#mk legends scorpions revenge#mk legends battle of the realms#mortal kombat legends scorpions revenge#mortal kombat legends battle of the realms
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Hi! I really your fics! Came for Stephanie Brown currently waking my way through best life.
My impression of Iron Fist was that it was like flawed in premise. It’s hard to make that one specialist white guy who got mystical monk powers in fantasy Tibet not seem like cultural appropriation. (Dunno why Dr.Strange doesn’t catch more flack.) Those characters were first made a while ago.
Anyways you make Danny Rand seem so likeable. Really liked that one with him and Colleen. Is he like that in the comics?
Hi, I love this ask! That Iron Fist story had a truly stupid amount of thought put into it, and I wish I had more opportunity to speak about it! I had a lot to say. I'll say one of the things here, and maybe reblog this with more specific commentary on the fic. But yes I want to talk about Iron Fist again!!! Only person on Earth!!
Yes, Iron Fist is based off an outdated trope. I'm not going to use the word problematic, because I do think it was sometimes an earnest exploration of an idea that had to be told in a way that the audiences would accept. In the 1970s, there was this perception (reality?) that white audiences simply would not watch a story with a lead of color. If you wanted to tell any sort of story about other cultures, then the lead had to be white. I've always called this the 'Dances With Wolves' story, and when it falls into problematic shit TvTropes calls it Mighty Whitey.
This is everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. Everywhere before 2000 (generously), and frequently even these days. It's even portal fantasy/isekai. It does not end. I'd break it down into two categories, four options. Very broadly:
Dances With Wolves (or Atlantis The Lost Empire, for a movie I like). The white hero is the POV character for white audiences to project onto and for wish fulfillment. As I talked about a while back, the basic assumption is that the audience is white and male, so he's the audience insert. In better movies, this character is used as an entry point so the movie can explore the other culture and their problems through the white viewpoint. In worse movies, this is straightforwardly Mighty Whitey where the POC are interchangeable hypemen present to make the MC look cool and heroic and save them all and probably become their king. This is Iron Fist.
Pulp Adventurer Hero (Tintin, the shit Indiana Jones was based off). Think of these as basically portal fantasies or isekais. In the 1800s when Americans got a taste of the Adventure (TM) bug, add in the Race For Africa and Orientalism and Wild West, you have a lot of intrepid super spies or archeologists or explorers investigating Distant Lands like the Congo or China. This was all late 1800s, got super popular in the 20s with dime novels, and tapered off in the 60s. Orientalism was at a high and Asian countries were viewed as very exotic and alien and foreign, so it got the brunt of this. Every single solitary one was HORRIFICALLY RACIST. Like holy SHIT. The mysterious Congo pygmies were little better than talking animals. Better, slightly more modern versions are Indiana Jones and the Mummy, who's directly based off these dudes, and is only pretty racist instead of horrifically racist.
You can organize the vast majority of Hollywood media predominantly featuring other cultures made before the 1990s into one of these categories. At best, they're outdated. At worst, there are some things I ask you not to Google. I do love Little Nemo in Slumberland and Tintin but holy hell.
This is the chain around Iron Fist's leg. You can slap a coat of paint on it, you can make it as woke as you like, but you cannot escape the basic foundations of the problematic story (and this is problematic, not outdated). You would have to literally kill off or get rid of Danny to fix that. When I talked earlier about how Iron Fist does not meaningfully engage with race the way it wants to engage with race, it is because of these things.
Very few tropes cannot be done well and should never be used. This trope isn't one of them. You could take any of these stories and really drill down into them, break them down into pieces to study the source code and genetics and foundation, and build it back up into something truly fascinating.
Never saw the Iron Fist show, but I'm guessing it wasn't deftly written and it didn't really engage with this. I think it's possible to write a good Iron Fist story, but you cannot do it through ignoring these foundations or dumping so much stuff on top of them to try and hide them. You can't. You have to drill down into this. There's stuff you can say using this trope, and if you write thoughtfully and actually have something to say you can write a damn good story (By the way, this is why the Mandarin in IM3 fucked hard - it didn't slap a coat of paint on the hugely problematic character, it looked at why the character existed and what the modern day equivalent of that character is and rebuilt it with the intent of having something to say).
Iron Fist is inherently bad. It is also not inherently bad. Its stories are inherently boring. Its stories can be inherently interesting. You just really have to open the clockface and see what makes the story tick. Anyway I'm Narcissus looking into his own AO3 because I actually did this and it fucked hard. IT CAN BE DONE YALL! IT CAN BE DONE!
TL;DR: Danny is nothing like that in the comics :D
#iron fist#danny rand#colleen wing#im going to reblog this with actual comments on my actual fic lmfao#my writing#my essays
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I watched Barbarian so you…might not have to?
🍼As always spoilers under the cut 🍼
First can I say this was beautifully shot? I loved the looming leering shots that really make you feel like a voyer. I want to be clear i did not hate this movie but i can tell its something that wont be everyones cup of tea. It deals heavily with themes of sexual assault and its got plot twists every turn. Every monster you think is the bad guy, isn’t. We get some really interesting commentaries on what i think is trying to speak about sexual assault. To be honest with you, i would ‘does the dog die’ this movie and go in blind and then come back here because even though I’m on the fence about it it’s still a good watch.
We start off with Tess, our final girl, she is shaky as she finds out that the air bnb she is at double booked her with Keith. Keith is this creepy…typical nice guy type? He’s very pushy and he is genuinely kind but he just wont take no for an answer. I love how the movie keeps throwing you red herrings, someone Tess is interviewing for her job when she says where shes staying for the air bnb says she shouldn’t be there but does not elaborate further.
The horror truly begins in the basement. A basement that continues to go farther and farther with each persons story we get to see how far it goes. Tess finds the filming room, which we later find is where the original owner brought women to rape them and film it. However she doesn’t get far beyond the filming room as she encounters a person i can only with good conscience call mother, and mother promptly dispatches of Keith. We cut to AJ, a Hollywood actor and rapist and who owns the house now, or well the deed. See AJ is everything a typical rapist seems like? He’s this stupid charismatic dude bro who, when confronted by an old friend, admits that the girl “took a little convincing.” His attorney advises against him leaving California to go to the air bnb but he does so anyways. When he gets there he finds Tess and Keith’s things and calls the people who rent it out to ask who the hell it is thats been staying here because he thinks its squatters. The woman on the phone tells him no one has been there in Two Weeks he gets aggressive with her and we sorta watch his decline. He calls the girl he raped, leaving her a backhanded apology for a voicemail. Now, AJ is crazy stupid and through the movie you might consider “oh he’s had a change of heart-“ I want you to nip that in the bud now. I think this movie makes it clear that a rapist is an irredeemable person and I honestly agree.
Something i think to be interesting is when we find Tess, she survived because mother just wants to pretend you’re her baby. Not to dig in where commentary might not be made but seeing AJ be so resistant to the rules to survive, the rules that helped Tess live, it sort of reminds me how as girls you have to learn to protect yourself at a young age, you have to learn to survive quickly while men, sort of just get to breeze by. And thats what happens…
We slowly find out that mother lives in this basement collecting people because she wants babies. The original owner has holed himself away in a deeper part and…mother wont approach his door when AJ finds his room. We are told mother is the result of the original owner breeding with his offspring over and over after raping women and them having his children. She is “a copy of a copy” whats shocking is that AJ when met with what hes done from an outside perspective, watching this disgusting old man’s tapes, he asks him what the fuck is wrong with him. The old man’s response is to kill himself with a gun that AJ promptly takes. See, in this time, Tess got free, Called the cops (who did nothing and i think thats also an interesting comment on rape), got help from a homeless man from earlier, hit mother with her car, and went back in to help AJ. And what happens when she goes back? He shoots Tess. Tess is brought out of the house with him but mother is gone and she is bleeding out fast. It is getting dark which mind you is one of the only times mother comes out. They make it to the homeless mans shelter who tells them he’s been living there for years and shes never bothered him here, however i assume because he has her babies, its different now. She attacks the man.
The final climax starts as AJ and Tess race up a water tower with mother in pursuit. AJ like the butterfingers he is drops his gun when trying to shoot her. Despite his heroic speech at the homeless shelter, he tells Tess HE can survive, but she will have to slow her down. He grabs Tess and throws her to which mother promptly dives after her ‘baby’ AJ runs down to grab his gun and finish the job but when he sees Tess is alive he immediately deals her excuses, and issues blame on her. “I didn’t even shove you you just started slipping, you understand right?” However once Tess slips off of mother, AJ comes to the rude awakening that mother also survived her landing and she promptly dispatches of the man who hurt Tess. We come to this final scene which ill be honest made me cry…
Tess grabs the gun while mother tries to motion her back to the house. Tess cannot be moved because of her wound and keeps telling her she cannot go back. She keeps trying to rub her face and say mama…she keeps nudging her to try and help and Tess shoots her point blank in the head… and while in some capacity i knew it had to happen it made me cry… mother had saved Tess’s life yet she had to die. She couldn’t live any other way…I’m not sure who the real monster is in this story wether its men like AJ or men like the original owner or maybe rapists in general. I don’t think mother was ever a bad guy…
I give this movie a 10/10. Even if i don’t fully understand it. It was gorgeous, the gore was great and looked great, it made solid commentary, and threw you for a loop every step of the way. I recommend watching it even if its hard to stomach at times. Over all it was a good movie and a good scare. The monsters truly are the friends we met along the way 💕🍼
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2022 in writing
whoops, i wrote this at the end of december, put it in my drafts, and forgot about it. this is my seventh year writing a recap and i just read through all of them again. part of me thinks, "it's been 7 years and i haven't accomplished a fraction of what other writers have in that same time." but then the other part of me remembers 1) other writers are on their own path and working at their own speed, and 2) it's unfathomable to me how utterly mentally fucked i used to be. and i mean, i'm still mentally fucked but at least i'm working on getting better. the point is, i had a different starting line than others.
anyway, it's a new year and that means it's time to think to myself for the 7th year running, "dear god when am i going to publish a book." every year i think, this is going to be my year! every year it isn't.
overcame the worst writers' block i've ever had
"overcame" is making it sound more dramatic than it was. i went on a medication that fucked with my brain and then went back off it. but i worry that when i think back on 2022, i'm not going to remember all this cool stuff i did, i'm going to remember how utterly miserable i was for six months. how terrifying it was to feel like someone else was living in my body. i wrote a little bit about it in october's newsletter.
some of this post i've copied over from my newsletter.
but also i have to acknowledge that when i came back to writing, it felt like my brain had been totally rewired and i feel capable, creatively, of about 10x more than i used to be capable of. i'm still trying to articulate what changed and why.
published some things
“shut up and kill me” -- featured in issue 41 of Barren Magazine. the editor who chose it said it was his favorite of the 700+ submissions they received. very happy this weird story has found its home. please heed the warnings!
“coping skills” -- featured in issue 1 of Flossy Lit Mag, a magazine my friends started and which has some great work in it already.
("not if, when" was published january of this year, so it'll go in next year's update)
published other people's things
in 2022, ofic magazine published 33 prose pieces and 3 art pieces! over half of what we accepted came from not yet published authors and you have no idea how happy that makes me.
won a grant
i’m very very excited to say i won the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund grant to help offset the travel expenses of the residency i attended! i’ve been applying to this for years and it’s amazing to have been awarded it. the judges had a lot of lovely things to say about my work and it was a big confidence boost.
did a residency
i spent a month in beautiful Wyoming at the Jentel Arts residency. i met some wonderful artists, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing time. definitely the highlight of my year.
made the top 10 of a big contest
i submitted "Not If, When" to a screenwriting website hosting a prose contest, and out of what seemed to be a lot of submissions, i was a top 10 finalist, and now my story is being pitched to production studios to see if they want to buy the film/tv rights. i've also had a few phone calls with hollywood people wanting to talk to me about my work (i'm still confused about that) and i think they've gone well. no idea what the endgame is here though.
ran other workshop
i intended to run two fanauthor workshops but i only managed one, because of the whole "just gritting my teeth trying to stay alive" thing. but the one i ran i think went really well!
coaching/editing is my job now
i didn't think too much of that until i met with my thesis advisor to get caught up and she was like, wow that's the dream. and she invited me to be a panelist for the annual publishing symposium at my alma mater.
i'm not getting rich or anything, but i've picked up enough commercial copywriting work to make ends meet.
applied/submitted to a few places
totals:
11 residencies (8 rejections, 2 rejections with encouraging feedback, 1 acceptance)
4 publications (1 encouraging rejection, 3 acceptances)
1 award (1 acceptance)
2 screenwriting-ish contests (1 rejection, 1 finalist placement)
this has been far and away my most successful submission year. 6 major wins!
wrote 421k words
what's extra wild about this word count is that ~400k of it was across 6 months. from january 1 to june 16, i wrote only 22k words. and then from june 17 to december 31, i wrote the rest. and for the finished works, this doesn't include their respective trash docs (where i put everything i cut from a story). if i add in those, it's an additional ~90k.
year over year word count comparison:
2022: 421k
2021: 183k
2020: 375k
2019: 430k
2018: 450k
2017: 150k
2016: 343k
2015: 250k
2014: 311k
nine year total: 2,913,000
& other stuff
i really advocated for my mental health this year and i'm super proud of that. i mean dealing with my brain was basically a full-time job and i've come to accept i'll be spending my entire life micromanaging my own head, but for now things are okay
unfortunately i got a diagnosis that wasn't what i expected, that seems mostly correct, and which i'm having trouble accepting
i moved into an apartment with my best friend and it's going really well so far
the only travel i did was to missouri to visit family, and to wyoming for my residency
2022 goal recap (from 2021)
sell a book any book dear god -- got close, but nope
finish a draft of a new novel -- big nope
get an apartment -- yep! and it's great
publish 3 issues of OFIC -- yes and i'm very proud of them
publish 12 newsletters -- no, published 5 newsletters
register OFIC Press as a nonprofit -- not yet, working on it (this is far more difficult than i thought it would be)
run a successful Fanauthor Workshop -- yep! 2 sessions out of my goal of 4
write a proposal for a fanfiction craft book -- no, but i talked to my agent about it and now we're working on it together
write a script (pilot or feature) and submit to contests -- yes but it was Bad and i've gotta, you know, make it not bad
2023 goals
these are going to be remarkably similar to last year's, considering it's all just stuff that's been set in motion.
SELL A BOOK
finish a new novel (it's february and i've already kind of done this, but still putting it on here)
publish 4 issues of ofic mag
publish at least 6 newsletters
build the 2024 ofic press catalogue
apply for nonprofit status
run 4 workshop sessions
submit nonfiction proposal
build a script portfolio (feature, pilot, spec)
find a healthy balance between writing and living
annual thank you!
despite how badly i derailed for the first half of the year, i'm really grateful to fandom, readers, and all the friends i've made here for your support and encouragement, without which i wouldn't have been able to do any of this.
prior year recaps: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021
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Hypocrites if a cis person say they're uncomfortable around queer people it would be a bad thing, smh I don't hate queer people for what they are I hate them because they're selfish hypocrites
Nah I'm gonna pop off here because I just read a post where some random person talks about how ace people don't belong to the queer community/lgbtq community and shouldn't be in queer spaces because they don't go through the same oppression that other queer individuals go through and I just blocked them because it pissed me the fuck off because I've often had my asexuality been invalidated by the types of people like this anon. But anyways imma just rant on here about what this anon has to say because i disagree and I'm tired of queerphobic people. First of all dear anon it's not all about you, cis heterosexual and all people have been getting representation for ages now. There's barely any media that shows queer rep that isn't embedded in stereotypes, such as in a lot of Hollywood films etc.. Also you do know that there are also cis people who are queer right? Anyways the queer community is a spectrum of diverse people just because we want to see ourselves represented doesn't mean we are a threat to you. We make up a small percentage of the population in a cis het allo majority. Wanting some rep for ourselves isn't selfish its human because we almost never get representation and if we do it's often either a harmful stereotype or a side character who doesn't have an important role in the story that 1/10 times they kill off in shows. I think you should do some reflecting in your perspective, talk to some queer people make some queer friends. Engage in discussion and try and see the other side of the coin before judging us. I'm gonna also say that we are not a monolith we are a group of diverse individuals and I think not only you but also others like you and also other people should do well keeping that in mind because your mindset is extremely harmful and toxic. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
I'm so sorry Lin for rambling. I was just pissed off and seeing this anon made me even more annoyed. I feel better now. 😅
oh no, don't apologize, i like reading the ramblings and i ramble as well! <3
also all of this ^ 10/10
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canon divergence where after bruce kills jason at the end of utrh, jason takes a while to recover, and then. THEN he just kills the joker and leaves gotham. no more drama. he’s just gone. aka my fantasy of canon ((for the ask game))
1) If Jason could have redo it all over again, then he either would not bother with Bruce at all; just killed Joker, then went to take over Gotham. Or he wouldn't bother with Gotham, just killed the Joker when he got his hands on him in LA.
+Maybe he would have stayed in LA, and that would have given us a plenty of unique stories, team-ups with Manhunter, and Outlaws in Hollywood.)
But there's no redoing it.
He leaves, kinda depressed.
2) There's no kinda. He is depressed. Like, he's low-key depressed throughout canon, especially recently, it seems like. However. This time it's serious enough that he does leave Gotham. Because the only way he does it voluntarily, without a manhunt after him, without him kicking and screaming, without a clear and more pressing goal, is either because everything tip-top in Gotham (which is not the case), or if he literally can't do it anymore. Do anything anymore.
I want to imagine him sipping an orange fresh somewhere on the beaches of a southern island. And there's Kory, and they go rescue Roy, and then the Outlaws hijinks ensue. I want it so badly. But. But.
He gets to a small picturesque town in the middle of America where everyone knows each other and nothing bad ever happens. And he stays there. Just. Fixing bikes and cars and trucks and basically anything with a drive.
(and if it's South Kentucky, it's a crossover with Justified; if it's Minnesota, it's crossover with Fargo; if it's Nebraska, it is a crossover with Stargirl TV series, my beloved; look. Younger Jason would be so hyped to meet Pat Dugan! Older Jason as a guy who needed a job and Pat gave him one, and then one day he's like, discovers this giant-ass Robot there and goes: cool; anyway, Pat, the car that Mrs Jenkins got in on Friday - I changed the oil but it needs serious work, right, I'm afraid the brakes could fail any minute, but she doesn't have enough money with the recession and all, take the costs out of my paycheck and I will do the whole work myself... And Pat is like: why no one ever is surprised by my giant flying Robot?)
3) And, you know. If it's a normal town then he's gonna have a normal life. Grow veggies in the backyard. Ride a velobike to work. Do yoga. Never watch news. Read books. Write books. For children, maybe - for children like him.
4) After Damian dies - Jason doesn't know about it, he doesn't know about his existence even - Bruce comes to visit. And it goes like... Jason is not surprised - he didn't expect it, sure, because why would he, he thought Bruce moved on just as he did. But he doesn't have it in him to be surprised, or glad, or sad, or anything.
Because there's this empty hole inside his chest. There is a routine he uses everyday to make himself do something, anything. And there are days when he doesn't get out of his bed because there's no point.
So he's like: wanna have some tea? I baked biscuits. And Bruce is like: yes. Thank you. And they're just talking. Drinking tea. Nothing serious, just - how's Alfred? Is Gordon still the Commissioner? Did Dick tied the knot with Barbara yet? on one side. What do you do for a living? Do you have friends now? Do you have a dog, you always wanted one? on the other.
And then Jason falls with his face down on the table. Because Bruce drugged him.
Bruce takes him to Quarak. He needs Jason to remember, how did he come back. And Jason is like: you know this is not the place where you can trigger any relevant memories. I died here, but I came back in Gotham. Both times.
And Bruce is like: both?
Jason: both.
Bruce: when was the second one?
Jason: you know when was it, you've been there. You did this. What's this is about? Do you want to discover the secrets to immortality now, old man? Age catches up to you? Well, Ra's tried to find out and failed. And I don't remember myself. One second I'm dead, another I'm not. Is that all? Can we go now?
Bruce: Yes. This is all. I am sorry, Jason. For taking you here.
He steps in for a hug. Jason doesn't care much so he allows it. Bruce breaks his neck.
And waits to see how Jason is coming back.
Only this time, he doesn't.
5) Artemis and Bizarro are in Qurac as well. They're looking for the bow of Ra. They see, instead, a guy in the desert, who's sitting there, with a dead body at his feet.
Artemis knows that dead guy. She killed a man, years before, with the same face. So she steps in.
It comes to blows. But Amazon plus a Kryptonian, versus Batman who's not firing at full cylinders, that's a quick enough fight. Except for Superman and Wonder Woman showing up and helping Batman (I imagine their reaction seeing dead Jason on the desert floor and Bruce fighting two superpowered people - oh god, thinks Clark, he lost him again. They killed him, thinks Diana)
Now Artemis and Biz are at disadvantage. So they need to run. But there's no way Artemis would leave this kid to his murderer, so they take Jason's body with them.
Now, they are on the run from the world's mightiest heroes. The only chance they have is if Artemis finds the bow, after all.
6) She finds it. It all goes down pretty much the same way except Trinity is against them, which helps the government to get the upper hand. But then the government's actions take priority for the Trinity, so they temporarily call a truce.
One way or another, it's over. Biz didn't get hurt here bc Clark was here to help. But after all said and done, Diana turns to Artemis and demands an explanation, why would she kill Batman's son.
Artemis retorts that Jason was already dead when they arrived and she suspects that it's Batman who killed him. Bruce says nothing. Clark asks to see the body so they could investigate.
Joke on them, Jason's body is gone.
Bruce is enraged. Losing control over his actions and speech, he blames Artemis for taking Jason away from him - after everything what Bruce done. He killed him, and now what - it's been for nothing? Tell me where you hiding him! I need to know how he keeps coming back!
7) And look. If there was any way to bring Jason to Gotham, and have him come back there, I would say it's the city itself that brings him back every time.
But here, I don't know - you might get Egyptian gods involved (that's the Bana Mighdal pantheon so it would make sense. He died in their lands twice, that's a sort of thing that makes gods to take notice and maybe use you).
Or the body was stolen by someone else.
8) cue the arc with the Untitled
9) he does ends up with All Caste. They don't treat his depression exactly, but he manages to pull through with their help anyway.
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Episode 40 Transcript: it ony a movie
[intro guitar music]
G: Hello, my name is Grey.
C: And my name is Crystal.
G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times...
C: And I, someone who knows the show from social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we're both Asian.
G: Both Asian!
For today's episode, we'll be discussing Season 2, Episode 18: "Hollywood Babylon," written by Ben Edlund-
C: Bedlund.
G: - directed by Phil Sgriccia.
C: Ugh, I hate Ben Edlund.
G: What? Why? According to Crystal, this is allegedly a bad episode, but...
C: Okay, he clearly despises Sam.
G: That is true. Sam literally has one-
C: Between this and "Nightshifter"? Like, Sam shows up and he's like, "I've been working the case. I broke into the morgue." And the whole time, all we've seen is Dean wearing headphones. You know? [laughs]
G: It's so funny because Sam literally has one good line this entire episode.
C: [laughing] But it's the best line of the episode.
G: That's true. He gave Sam the best line and then dipped. [laughs]
C: Yeah.
G: Okay, just before we do our usual thing, I want to say, this is episode 18 of season 2.
C: [laughing] I would love to have some plot related to season 2 here. That'd be great to see. [G laughs]
G: I mean, it makes sense, back in season one, when, you know, the entire plot of the show is like, "we're waiting for John to appear."
C: [laughs] Yeah.
G: For John to appear in the last few episodes. But even then, they were building up to it in some way in the episodes prior.
C: Mm-hmm.
G: This one, it really feels like, when the plot hits, it's gonna be so out of the fucking blue.
C: Yeah.
G: So.
C: Where's Ava? Ava's been missing since-
G: Yeah!
C: For how long has Ava been missing?
G: I have no idea.
C: She's been missing since episode 10? They looked for her for a bit and then they were like, "Eh."
G: Literally, they do not care about Ava at this point anymore at all. They just accepted that she's fucking dead or something.
C: I guess so. Bring Ava back. Also, Max- where's Max Miller? Weren't they gonna like- no, not Max Miller. Andy. That guy. He has a name. Weren't they gonna keep an eye on him? Where is he?
G: It's weird. Because they front-loaded the plot, right?
C: Yeah!
G: And then they had their reveal that like, Dean was bound to kills Sam or something. And then after that, nothing. [laughs] Like, nothing has happened. All they've done is like, allude to the fact that Dean has to kill Sam. And then, nothing else. It's just- come on. Can we go back to the plot, please? Can we get back to the plot?
C: Right. There part where Sam's gonna become like, a warrior for Hell or whatever, like, are you all not looking into that? I thought Ellen was gonna look into that. Aren't you fighting a war? What happened to the war? [G laughs]
G: It's so funny! Because Meg comes back and she's like, "Nah, this is not plot-relevant. [C laughing] Like, don't even think about it."
C: Yeah. "If you think for a fucking second that we're going to do overarching plot anytime before episode goddamn 20 of this 22 episode season, you are a clown and a jokester. This is purely for personal reasons."
G: Exactly. Especially during this episode, it hit me so hard that, like, the purpose of a TV show, first and foremost, especially during this time of the making of a TV show, is to fill up time in television. [both laughing]
C: Yeah. Right. It's to create breaks from the ads.
G: Exactly. And it's so felt in this episode and probably this entire season as well. Like, this is all to fill up time. [laughing] Nobody here is telling a story. [both laughing] Well, I mean, some people are telling stories. I think there's there's a story that's happening and I quite like it, but it's very sparse, you know?
Anyway, so now that that's done, Crystal, what did you know about this episode before you watched it?
C: I knew that there was a case taking place on a film set and that they were undercover and that Dean was going to work as a PA and have his little headset on and generally seem to like his job there. And then I knew about the ending shot where they're like, walking off into the sunset but it's like, a set piece because it's been used in a lot of AMVs.
G: Yeah.
G: I mean, you know, about the montage, right?
C: Yes, I know about the montage.
G: You may or may not know this, but like, in season 15 episode 19 there's a montage, right?
C: Yes.
G: It's like, at the end of the plot part of the episode, they're like, "Okay, let's do a montage before the actual finale." And the montage ends- well, does it end with this?
C: Oh.
G: Or is it the trailer for the next episode ends with this? And like, I remember this-
C: Sunset shot?
G: It ends with the sunset shot, yeah.
C: Ooh.
G: And I remember a lot of hubbub about like, "Why are they doing this? Are they going meta for the last episode?" Like, you know, like, "Are they gonna- whatever?" Like, they're walking into a sunset, but it's a fake sunset and it's like, not actually a happy ending. And there's like, a lot of hubbub about that. And then the last episode aired, and everyone was like, "Fuck it! Who cares." [both laughing]
C: I mean, they're right, it wasn't actually a happy ending.
G: [laughing] I mean, they're right, but like, who fucking cares?
C: I mean, happy for me a little bit maybe, but. [both laugh]
G: Literally, I hate Supernatural's ending so much it's unreal. [C laughs] But now that that's the- [laughs] Let's get into the actual episode.
-
G: So we start in a house, and there's a woman, and she's walking around with a flashlight, calling for her friends. It's, you know. A typical-
C: Did you know immediately that it was going to end with a director saying "Cut"?
G: I've watched this episode recently.
C: That's true.
G: Yeah. I don't even know. I think it was one of those things where I was bored and I was like, "Oh, hey friends, what should I watch- episode of Supernatural should I watch?" or something. And of course the Deangirls were like, "Watch 'Hollywood Babylon!'"
C: Boo.
G: And I did. So I know pretty much everything that happens in this episode beat for beat.
C: Okay, yeah. I knew immediately that it was gonna end in "cut," so I was just like, waiting. Like, stop drawing it out, you guys, like, we get it, like, you were making them bad actors on purpose, like, it's too clear already what you're planning to do at the end of this.
G: She's such a bad actor too, like, it's so fucking funny. [both laugh]
C: [laughing] Brodie's a way worse actor though. Every time, he was like, "I'm leaving!" and like, stomping his feet standing in the exact same place.
G: Exactly. But anyway, yeah, like Crystal said, it ends with a scream shot, and the camera is like, pointed at her face, and it's a filmset. And her screen is very bad. She's having a very tough time acting. And then the director goes, "Cut!" And then, you know, they cut. Anyway, some relevant things that happened in the scene - someone hands her water, and that guy is going to be relevant later. And the director is like, telling her to level up the screaming or whatever. So she goes to the side to practice her screaming some more, but before that, she ends up in conversation with this guy who is part of the sound set. And he's saying that "Oh, this place is creepy. I think the stage is haunted for realsies. [C laughs] And I get creeped out sometimes that, you know, someone's watching me." So all that shit. And then she's like, "Ha, isn't that so funny." Anyway, she goes out to the side to practice, and then she hears a noise. She looks up. The guy that she was talking to is on the ceiling then. [both laughing] In quite a brutal-looking shot, right?
C: Yeah, he's like, hanging from the rafters and like, dripping blood down. Like, he looks fucked up.
G: Exactly. And she screams this time, and her scream is better than her previous screams. And we go through the director in the distance who just hears this and assumes she's practicing and goes, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"
C: Yeah, though as we learn later, he probably didn't think that she was practicing.
G: Yeah, they were like, intentionally fucking with her head.
C: Yeah. In order to get more publicity. And also, I think the audio for the scream in the trailer for the movie we see letter is from that.
G: So they recorded it is what you're saying?
C: Yeah, so yeah, it was like, a setup so that they could get the audio and also get more publicity for the film.
G: Jesus.
C: What a fucked up thing to do.
G: Love that.
-
C: So we're at Warner Bros Studios, where Dean is on this trolley, taking a tour. And we hear like, a tour guide over the intercom talking, and Dean turns to his side and says, "Hey, do you know this is where they filmed Creep Show?" And you think it's Sam [both laughing], like he's just sitting with Sam, talking to him, but then the camera pans over, and he's talking to some poor, random kid eating an ice cream cone who's like, "Um, stranger danger!" and like, just looks at Dean weird.
G: [laughing] Later on, he says goodbye to the kid when he hops out of the car [C laughing], and he's like, he fully believes that he has made a friend.
C: [laughing] - that this kid is his best friend and he just let him go.
G: He fully believes that he has made a friend in the middle of this fucking town. And the kid is literally just out here eating ice cream. It's so funny.
C: God. Yeah. So, right, and then we have the tour guide say like, "Here's like, the setting for the TV show Gilmore Girls." And the camera cuts to Sam sitting in the row in front of Dean, and, you know, it's a joke about how Jared Padalecki used to play Dean on Gilmore Girls.
G: Haha.
C: Yeah. [G laughs] Haha. Right, because the tour guide continues, "If we're lucky, we might even catch one of the show's stars!"
G: Yeah. I mean, I don't know anything about Gilmore Girls other than the straight girls in my life watch it [C laughs], and they seem to be having fun, so, good for them!
C: Yeah, my coworker who said that she watched Supernatural in middle school-
G: [laughs] Watches Gilmore Girls?
C: Watches Gilmore Girls and enjoys it.
G: Is this the reason why she watched Gilmore Girls?
C: I don't think it's because of Jared Padalecki. I think it was just that Gilmore Girls is popular. Plus, I'm pretty sure Dean as a character in Gilmore Girls - and also in Supernatural - is a total dick, so like - and framed as one in Gilmore Girls - so I feel like you wouldn't- like, a Jared Padalecki fan would not follow that over, necessarily. Eh. I don't know. I don't understand the minds of Jared Padalecki fans. [G laughs]
Yeah, so Sam tells Dean that they should get off the tour and do some work, and he, like, hops off. And Dean's like, "Ugh, no, I want to finish the tour!" but then eventually does get off. And, as you mentioned [laughs], he says "bye" to the ice cream kid. [both laughing] Yeah. Dean thinks that Matt Damon is nearby, but Sam says that that's a janitor. Do you think Dean's, like, a Matt Damon fan? What was Matt Damon even in by 2007?
G: I have no idea.
C: Let me look at his IMDB page.
G: I looked up Matt Damon because I- is he a popular guy? All I know him from is the Mars movie.
C: Oh, yeah, The Martian, yeah. I think he's pretty well known because he was in Good Will Hunting -
G: Ohh.
C: - which is considered a classic.
G: Oh, okay, got it.
C: But the main thing I know him from is like, that, like, Great Wall movie [G laughing] where some white guy in China or whatever, and everyone being like, "I don't want this to exist. Shut up."
G: [laughs] Yeah, I have not seen that movie, but I have seen a comedy bit of that movie. From- what's his name? That guy who starred in the movie where it's like, Love Actually slash Die Hard, and it's called Love Hard.
C: Oh, fucking Jimmy O. Yang?
G: [laughing] Yeah!
C: Fuck that guy. [G laughing] God. Love Hard sucked. Let's make our outtake about how bad Love Hard was.
G: [laughing] I love Love Hard. Like, I love to watch it and hate on it. [both laughing] Literally, it's so funny.
C: So bad.
G: If you're a Ko-Fi subscriber of BABPod, the same day that we're releasing this episode, we're also gonna release [laughing] an outtake where we just dunk on Love Hard, so watch out for that.
C: "My dad is so manly! He won't understand that I make candles!" [both laughing]
C: So he was also in Ocean's 13, which is well-known, right? Well-known?
G: I only know the girl version of that one.
C: Yeah, same.
Yeah, whatever I think he's famous for something. Yeah, I think Dean wanted to fuck Matt Damon.
G: Good for him.
C: Yeah. So they go- okay, so Sam keeps pushing for them to do work stuff, and Dean keeps going that "I wanted to come to LA for vacation because of the swimming pools and movie stars," and Sam says, "This seem like swimming pool weather to you, Dean? I mean, it's practically Canadian."
G: Wait, hold on.
C: And of course, Supernatural films in Canada- what?
G: No, I get the joke is that they film in Canada so it's like, "haha," but like, isn't LA notoriously like, not rainy? Is-
C: Yeah, yeah, it's not rainy. It's very mild weather.
G: Oh, yeah. Hollywood is not a rainy place. [laughs] Yeah, I know that from fucking Good Mythical Morning of all places. [laughs]
C: Anyway, right, so I mean, this is like, the second meta joke so far, right?
G: Yeah. There's a lot of them.
C: Which makes sense given the content of this episode, yeah. Ben Edlund wanted to have some fun.
G: [laughs] Yeah.
C: Yeah, so Ben now attempts the only moment of emotional continuity in this episode. [both laugh]
G: I can't believe the last episode was "Heart." [C laughs] I literally cannot believe.
C: Ended on a single man tear and a gun shot, and now they're like, "Hi! Gilmore Girls tour time." God.
G: It's so funny because they do not show Sam at all this episode. Like, again, like he's really-
C: Right, he's not processing anything. He's just like, offscreen.
G: Literally. So he-
C: Yeah, his mourning of Maddy's death was not important to Dean's journey of eating Philly cheesesteak sliders.
So, yeah, Dean says, like, “I just figured that like, after everything that happened with Madison, you could use a little vacation." And Sam says, "Well, maybe I want to work because it keeps my mind off things." Yeah. And it also keeps him offscreen this entire episode.
G: Yeah! He's like, "I'm going to go to the morgue, I'm gonna do all this research," and it's so funny because, like, he has this thing where it's like, Dean is exploring the place, and, like, the whole point is that he doesn't find anything. And then he talks to Sam and Sam is like, “Oh, I found something, though." And it's like, why didn't you show us Sam, then?
C: Yeah!
G: He found something!
C: Yeah! Like, I know that morgue scenes are boring, but you have forced us through at least one morgue scene per episode since the beginning of this show, and now you think you're too good for them? [laughs] Like, Ben Edlund. Like, get over your Dean crush and just show us the case.
Yeah, so they talk about the case, the crew guy who died on set. Dean says, "It could be like the movie Poltergeist," which Sam doesn't know. And Dean says about that, "You know nothing of your cultural heritage." [both laugh] Alright.
G: So true.
C: So yeah, so apparently the set of Poltergeist was rumored to be cursed because they used real human bones as props. And they reveal that the name of the guy who died is Frank Jaffey, but they weren't able to find a death certificate or coroner's report. Like, he doesn't seem to be on the record. But the actress who found him said she saw a vanishing figure. Sam reveals that the actress's name is Tara Benchley, and Dean lights up because apparently she's a well known scream queen to him from Fear Dot Com and Ghost Ship. Yeah, he's a fan of her work. He says, "It's very good." It's not, though.
G: You know, the thing about Tara Benchley- I mean, we're going a bit out of order here, but they do have sex, right?
C: Yes.
G: I like that. Like, this is the one like, time at this point in the show where Dean interacts with a woman that he likes that I actually like, really enjoyed.
C: Yeah.
G: Because he approaches her and he's very shy, he's very timid. And then-
C: Mm-hm. Submissive. Breedable, even.
G: God- god! [both laughing] You just caught me at like, my natural habitat, like, reacting to the word "submissive and breedable." That's how I react to it every single time. But no, I was saying, like, he's shy, all that. And then at the end of the day, she didn't know that he saved her.
C: Yeah, exactly, yeah.
G: So there's no debt in that way. Like, she really did just sleep with him because- not because he's- I mean, he's kind of lying about who he is, but he is a PA at that point, right?
C: Yeah. Yeah.
G: Like, he's not pretending to be a scout of reality TV shows or whatever. Like, he was a PA at that point, so he wasn't pretending to be anyone. And then they sleep together, and it's purely because she thought he was cute!
C: Yeah.
G: And I like that! Turns out, they can write women to be, you know, have sex with Dean Winchester without it being weird.
C: Yeah, agreed. Right, and also like, she's not his boss or anything either, so there's no bad power dynamic in the other direction. Like, she's more famous than him, but like, both of them are employees of the movie set, so like, yeah. It's cute and normal and fine.
G: Yeah! And when Dean shows up- I mean, we're going to it discuss it later, but I just want to say when Dean comes out of the trailer and his hair is all ruffled up, I legitimately went "Awwwwh!" His hair is all ruffled up. And, yeah. [laughing] That's my observation of Dean.
C: So true.
-
G: So they go into the movie set, and as they're hanging out, they see that there's this guy - his name is Brad - and he's- he's a director? Or he's the producer.
C: He's a studio executive. I don't know what that translates to like, in actual terms.
G: Yeah, people- I think he is a producer. 'Cause like, the guy calls him like, "a suit," so like, he's like, the type of guy who wears a suit in this kind of environment type of guy.
So he's talking to some of the guys who are doing the lighting [laughing]. And he's saying like, "Make it brighter!" And then the guys are like, "It's a horror show. It's a horror movie." And he's like, "Yeah, but it looks too drab. It looks too depressing. Why don't you just make it brighter? More colors." Which I suppose like, they're saying this because it's a reference to the fact that Supernatural at this point is very dark.
C: Yeah. [laughs] Well, the studio execs got what they wanted.
G: [laughs] They literally will get what they have asked for.
And yeah. At some point, Brad looks over to where Sam and Dean are, and he calls over "the guy with the green shirt," meaning Dean. And Dean's like, "What, me?" And then he asks for a smoothie from Kraft, and Dean's like, "You want a what from who?" And Sam comes in and is like, "No, he's just new here. We'll get you a smoothie. Smoothie coming right up!" He puts on that voice [laughing], and it's so funny. What the fuck do you mean "smoothie coming right up"?
C: Why did this guy decide that Dean was a PA and Sam was just hanging out?
G: I mean, I assume he assumed both of them are PAs, but it's not like you're going to call two PAs to grab you a smoothie, right?
C: Mm, yeah, I suppose so.
G: Yeah.
C: Does Dean not know what a smoothie is? [G laughs]
G: You think he doesn't know what a smoothie is? I'm sure he does. Because, like - at this point, Sam is still not a health nut, so I'm assuming he only knows like, milkshake-type smoothies, right? He's not aware of the fruit smoothie agenda yet.
C: [laughs] Yeah. Oh, god, my favorite meme is the "see you in hell, you stupid fruit" [G laughs], like, blender thing. And like, that showed up on November 5. It was so good. Anyway. Yeah, I guess Dean's not homophobic enough to make smoothies yet.
G: Yeah. So later on, we cut to Dean holding a tray of smoothies, and he's giving it out to like, you know, people passing by, etc. So Dean realizes that like, "Oh, I actually need to investigate at some point, right?" So he sets down the smoothie tray, and he gets out the EMF meter and starts creeping up the- what did you call this? The raf-? No, it's not.
C: I think the rafters are like, the top part, but the general thing is the scaffolding.
G: The scaffolding. Exactly. So he goes up the scaffolding, and suddenly, like, the lights dim and the crew starts recording. Like, they start filming. And what they're filming is Tara, who is, you know, the girl, the main character, reading off a book in Latin or in Enochian or, you know, just some language. They get into it a little bit later. But she's reading something off a book. And they're just goofing around on set and stuff. Meanwhile, Dean is up there inspecting the whole place, but there's no EMF anywhere, so he goes back down.
C: Yeah. Sam gets this update and he asks Dean, "How's the whole thing going?" And Dean says that being a PA here sucks but the snacks on set are great. [G laughs] He like, enthuses about like, a Philly cheesesteak slider, and he tries to give Sam one, but Sam gives him some judgmental look and is like, "Maybe later." I don't- like, Sam does a lot of judgment of Dean's eating in this episode.
G: I don't know why Ben Edlund- The thing is, this episode, you can pinpoint a lot of the things that they do with Sam and Dean in terms of food back to this episode. Like, there's a little bit of it in "Tall Tales"; there's a little bit of it in the episode where they dress up as priests, but like, it's really highlighted here. [laughing] It's basically the main point of the episode. [C laughs] It's really highlighted here. And it frustrates me that they made it this way, and it has emanated throughout the rest of the show.
C: Right. Like, it's weird. Like, I don't know-
G: Why is he so judgmental?
C: - why Sam is being so judgmental about Dean eating a sandwich-
G: Yeah!
C: - you know? Like, what is wrong with the situation? Like, it's food on set, and you eat it.
G: Yeah, and it's free, and he's allowed to get it. And I mean, it's more appropriate than the other past few times. Like, the other time it was like, "Oh, this guy's telling us that someone died here, and you're stuffing your face with nuts," [C laughs], and then the other time it's like, "We're literally at a funeral and you're eating off the plate like it's what you're here to do."
C: Right. But it's not-
G: But now the situation is like, the food is here to be eaten, and they're just on set, and like, just let him fucking eat!
C: Right, and it's like, they were both food insecure growing up, and I understand that, like, like, the general consensus is that Dean bore the brunt of that more than Sam did 'cause like, Dean would go hungry to give Sam food, but like, I feel like if you're growing up with someone, you notice that, and also, it's not like Sam was never food insecure and that there was- that Dean always got enough food for Sam even if he didn't eat himself, right? So like, this doesn't make sense.
G: Yeah. But alas. This is what we are given. And it is what will be shown throughout the rest of the fucking show.
C: Right.
G: Tough luck.
C: Right, like, they end up giving Sam his own food thing, which is... interesting how they go about it [G laughs], but oh well.
G: Yep. It sure is, but yeah.
C: So yeah, so Dean asks about Sam's research and yeah, they can't find anything on Frank Jaffey. And Walter shows up and takes a sandwich, and Dean says after Walter [laughing], "They're wonderful!" about the sandwich. So true.
And so, apparently, this filming area had four deaths in the past 80 years. Two suicides, two fatal accidents. So they're thinking vengeful spirit.
Tara walks by and Dean is like, "Okay, time to go over and talk and get her autograph or something."
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah, so he likes grabs some like, sheet of paper from a worker like, walking by and then he goes up to Tara, and he's like, "Oh, like, they missed you! Were you supposed to get one of these sheets of paper?" And-
G: He looks adorable. [laughs] Crystal is literally gonna kill me for this, but he looks- he looks adorbs.
C: He looks enthusiastic in a way that is- that could be read as endearing if you cared about him. [G laughing] [laughs] That is what I will say.
G: Literally Dean is cute when you care about him and not when you're not caring about him. So true.
C: Yeah.
G: He gives her the paper and he says, like, "I don't really know what I'm doing"- [laughing] He's so cute! - And then Tara says, like, "Oh, is it your first day?" And Dean's like, "Yeah, and I know it's gauche to say this, but I am a big fan of yours. Like, I loved you in Boogieman." And then Tara says, like, "Oh, god that was a terrible fucking script," that just confirms that Dean really loves to watch terrible movies.
C: Yeah.
G: I honestly support that. Because I'm currently at the stage in life where I only watch good movies, so what happens is, every time I watch a movie, it takes me like, three months to process it.
C: [laughs] Yeah.
G: So I don't watch any movie after that in the span of three months. I just dwell on the last one is all.
C: Yeah.
G: So yeah, I mean, if you're gonna watch movies more frequently, I'm assuming you're going to come across like, shit movies every now and then. And that's what Dean is doing.
Dean sees this as an entryway to talk about the case. So he asks like, "Oh, you saw the guy who died, right?" And she was like, "Yeah." And Dean exhibits some tact by saying, like, "Oh, I know you probably don't want to talk about it." [laughs] He's so cute. But she says, like, "I'm fine talking about it. It's just that no one else wants to talk about it because everyone thinks I'm going to have a nervous breakdown if they mention it around me. But it was a horrible thing because, like, blood was dripping out of his eyes and his mouth." And she says, like, she's positive that she saw something, a figure, and she doesn't know what it was, but she's sure that she saw it.
Eventually, this guy Walter approaches her and give her a drink, and she's like, "Oh, thank you, Walter," and this is like, the second time this happened so in your brain you're like, "Oh, this Walter guy's gonna be important, isn't he? He's gonna be the guy, isn't he?" So, fun stuff.
C: What I thought this whole time was, "This is a set full of white men, and I can't tell any of them apart or know what any of their jobs are."
G: They mention-
C: And when they revealed that Walter was the writer at the end and they're like, "Oh my god, Walter the PA?" I was like, "Who the fuck is that?"
G: It's so funny that he is like, literally a writer that like, got the rights to be on set, and he's acting as a PA for this woman. Like, come on, dude.
C: Yeah. He's an odd guy, as we will find out.
G: [laughing] God, what they did with Walter is so funny! Even thinking back to it, it's like absolutely fucking hilarious! And like- [laughs] whatever, we'll get into later. This entire episode is so funny.
C: Yeah.
G: Yeah, so eventually, Tara ends up showing Dean a picture that she took with the guy before the guy died. And Dean looks at it, and Dean says, "Son of a bitch."
C: Ooh.
G: Dun-dun-dun-dun.
-
C: So we show up at some house, which- Sam and Dean are knocking on the door. And some guy opens it, and Dean says, "Gerard St. James?" And this is the guy who we previously knew as Frank, and he's alive. So apparently, Dean recognizes him because he was Desert Soldier #4 in Metalstorm: The destruction of Jared-Syn. [laughs] So.
G: What a nerd.
C: What a nerd. Yeah. Dean's like, "Oh my god, I'm a huge fan. Like, you got hit by a tractor in Critters 3?" So yeah, like, this is like, a guy who plays like, practically extras roles, but Dan is a nerd, so he recognizes him.
So they come in the house, and Gerard explains that the producers brought him in for a day to play this Frank Jaffey guy to fake his death so that there'd be more publicity stirred up because people would be thinking the film set was haunted. He says, "They say I'm the new lonelygirl." What is lonelygirl?
G: You don't know who the lonelygirl is??
C: No.
G: Okay. Lonelygirl15 was an ARG that was like- So, like, at the beginning of YouTube, back in like, I guess 2005, so, like, someone was like, "You know what we could do? We could make this like, vlog series where this girl, called lonelygirl15, vlogs." I actually don't know much of the details, but I know- this is just a general gist. If you want to get into it, I don't know, fucking Google it or something. But they were like, "Let's make this vlog series where it looks like someone who is an actual person doing a vlog, but it's actually an actor who's pretending to be lonelygirl15." And it's like, there's like, a whole crew managing the vlogs and stuff. And it's like, it's very big in the ARG community because it's like, one of the first ones that really blasted through the Internet. Because it's like, a vlog, like, it's in video format.
C: Yeah.
G: Yeah. So yeah, he's the new lonelygirl. Because- do you even know what an ARG is? Or-
C: Uh, kind of. Not really. I mean it's like, it's sort of like, a game thing, right, where you like, try to find clues and shit, and like, they're hidden in various part of the Internet?
G: Yeah. Exactly, yeah.
C: Yeah.
G: Yeah. There was a time in my life, where I was like, not into ARGs as in into them like that, but like, I was into ARG YouTubers. Like, people who YouTube about ARGs, you know?
C: Oh, interesting.
G: And I was like, so that's how I learned about lonelygirl15. But I was actually shocked when they mentioned it in this episode because I didn't think of it as like, a big thing. As like, something that has permeated culture enough to be present in a Supernatural episode.
C: Yeah.
G: But apparently, it is.
C: Yeah, I mean Dean says, "Who?" So I feel like you're not supposed to understand the reference. I think Bedlund just threw it in 'cause he's aware of it.
G: Yeah. Do you think Sam knows who lonelygirl15 is?
C: Mm. Probably not.
G: Probably not.
C: What do you think Sam would watch on the internet?
G: [laughs] This is such an- I think Sam would watch like, conspiracy theories, but like, he would be on the comments section disproving every single thing the person is saying. [C laughing] Like, it'll be like, "Flat Earth Theory! Why the Earth is Flat." And then, like, in the comments section [C laughing], he just outlines like, a 1500 word, fully-referenced paper about why the earth is, in fact, not flat.
C: Yeah, no, that sounds exactly right. Do you think Sam gets in fights on Reddit? [G laughs]
G: He would never-
C: He's totally a Reddit guy.
G: Like, I know we have fics where Dean is like, on Reddit talking about Cas or something, which is, that's a fun concept. But you know what we need? We need, like, a Reddit fights that Sam has, and it's not even relevant to anything. There's no overarching plot. He just has fights with people. [both laugh]
C: It's his stress relief.
G: [laughing] This is his stress relief, exactly.
C: Good for him.
Yeah, so apparently, the ghost was like, projected on a screen. And Dean says that "What you did was kind of cruel," and Gerard says, "Hey, I just play the part. I don't write the script." And he tries to push like, one of his new gigs at them.
G: I thought that was going to be more relevant, but it's not at all.
C: Yeah.
G: Maybe they're just showing that guys who do this are like this or something.
C: Yeah, I think so. Apparently, you get a free pepper steak with the coupon, though. Like, I figured Dean would take him up on-
G: That's a good deal.
C: Yeah, that's good.
G: Literally get that fucking pepper steak.
C: Yeah. So, right, so they decide to start heading out. Who's Richard Moll? Is that a real guy? But basically, Dean just asks Gerard what it was like to work with some guy named Richard Moll.
G: Yeah. I am positive that there is a lot of references here that we can see as references and then we just don't understand. C: Yeah
G: And I'm positive that there's even more references here that we just don't catch like, at fucking all.
C: Uh-huh.
G: So I'm sure-
C: It doesn't matter.
G: [laughs] It doesn't matter to us because we don't care about it, but I'm sure someone is like, screaming at their phone right now, like, "It means blah-blah-blah! Why do you not know this?" And to that person, I say, "Don't email us." [laughing] We don't care. I'm sorry.
C: [laughing] Richard Moll voiced Two-Face in Batman: The Animated Series. [both laughing] [C screams]
G: Wasn't Jensen in Batman now or something?
C: Yeah, but most importantly, Misha Collins was going to play Two-Face in Gotham Knights until it got canceled, baby!
G: Oh my god. [laughs] It was canceled? Are you-
C: [laughs] There's rumors that it's been canceled.
G: Noo. But the Mishagirls are so excited!
C: Do not let that man- do not let that man get any jobs. Do not allow that man on the screen anymore.
G: You're so mean!
C: [laughs] So true. Cancel Gotham Knights.
G: I mean, I'm sure his book is selling well, so that's gonna be, like-
C: Oh my god, don't fucking even.
G: That's gonna be like, a year of-
C: We should do a Ko-Fi bonus of dramatic readings of his shitass poems.
G: No! He has some good poems!
C: Does he?
G: I hate that I'm becoming like, the Misha Collins like, fucking warrior in this podcast. But he has some poems that I like. Yeah. That's my hot take.
C: Yeah. Well, [laughing] I'm glad somebody somewhere is enjoying something. [G laughing]
G: Exactly.
C: Yep. So, right, so Gerard says that this guy was a gentleman, and then Dean's like, "OMG, yay, pepper steak," and they head out.
-
G: They head out and back in the film set.
C: Yeah. Every cut like, starts with like, a new scene from the movie, basically.
G: Yeah. So like, the scene starts, and there is a guy like, handling the audio. As they're doing the scene inside the house, the audio starts changing into something like, freaky. And then back to the guys, who are like, filming the stuff, the execs and the director and stuff, Brad, the guy who asked for the smoothie earlier, is now saying that he doesn't get the logic of the movie [laughs], because how can the demons hear them if they're in Hell? Do the demons have fucking super hearing? And then they were like, "Ugh, whatever. Maybe we should write a fucking explainer then." And so they do write an explainer [both laughing], and it's so funny. Because, remember in Supernatural when they were like, "Oh, yes, salt is like, purifying people." And Sam was saying this to Dean, and Dean literally has been doing this his entire fucking life. Like, come on, dude! Literally just put an explainer right in there.
So Brad, the guy, wanders off, right, and he's walking around. He's trying to call someone when somebody appears like, behind him. And it's this lady who looks very like- who looks very much like she just jumped right out of a black and white movie. So he's like, "Oh, well, that's weird. I quite like the makeup," and etc etc, "But your" - because she has like, scars on her neck. Like, wounds on her neck, or like, bruises and stuff. And he's saying to her that, like, "I like your makeup, but the bruises on your neck could be a little bit more red. I'll tell the makeup artist about that." So he fully believes that this ghost is just some rando on set like, in a makeup that is the most amazing you've ever seen on a person. [laughs]
C: Yeah.
G: And then he turns around, and she taps him, and then she disrobes.
C: Which was not necessary. Like, it was not needed.
G: She could have just given him like, bedroom eyes or something.
C: Yeah. Also, like, okay, he went up to the rafters after her. Like, he was like, "This woman wants to sleep with me on the ceiling of the set while we're filming"?
G: Yeah.
C: Like, I feel like she could've just done a "There's something wrong up here, like, I need to show you for the sake of the movie" or whatever, right? Like, it's not realistic to think that someone's telling you to have sex in the rafters while you're fucking filming the movie.
G: Also, like, I'm assuming the rest of her body is also gray.
C: Right. Right. They're like, "The makeup artist got your nipples too?" Like, alright, girl. [G laughs]
G: Exactly. But eventually, he goes up after her, and we cut back to the scene that they're filming, and now they're doing the explainer, like we said earlier. They're saying like, "Oh, how can they hear us from Hell?" And then some guy goes, "They must have super-hearing or something!" C: "They must have super-hearing!" [both laugh]
G: Literally, in Supernatural, the demons have super-hearing.
C: So true.
G: Anyway, just as they're doing that, a body crashes through the fucking ceiling. It's Brad. And he's dead.
G: Yep. RIP.
C: Hanging by a rope around his neck. F.
-
C: They're filming the movie again, and the jokes happening here are that they say that they need salt to fend off the spirits, and the actors are like, "I don't get it. Why would the spirits be afraid of salt?" Also, meanwhile, there's like, a little talk about Brad, who just died. And it's like, "It feels weird to be filming, even though, like, he killed himself on set." And Jay, one of the- the director? - is like, "He was just a studio guy. Whatever. We had a moment of silence for him at breakfast." [G laughs] I wonder how much of this is like, Ben Edlund's opinions about like, the workings of the Supernatural set coming through.
Right, so Tara’s like, asking about the salt thing. "Why would a ghost be afraid of salt?" Obviously, this is very funny to Dean. And then they're like, "What else would a ghost be afraid of? Maybe shotguns?" [both laugh] So true.
G: Shotguns with salt in them?
C: Perhaps?
And Walter says, watching this, "These people are idiots," and walks off. So yeah, I guess, this is so kind of a sign of what's to come. [G laughs] Dean says, "Walter's a little testy for a PA."
So Sam comes over to ask how it's going, and Dean only answers things about the movie, like, how Tara's really stepped up her performance. And Sam goes like, "Dean, like, I'm asking about the case. We don't really work here. And I thought you hated being a PA." And Dean says, “I don't know. It's not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know?" Aww!
G: That's so sweet.
C: Yeah.
G: That is so sweet. Although-
C: 'Cause he has worked like, alone or just with like, his dad or his brother, for his whole life. Like, he's not really had like, group settings before.
G: Yeah. This is like, such a big group too. Like, this is not just like, we're in a- there's like, five group team that you're working with. This is like, you know, like, a well-oiled machine, and then you put him in there, and it's like, "Oh, I like, being a part of the machine" like, type of guy.
C: Yeah.
G: It's pretty sweet. It's something to think about. I understand why the Deangirls like this episode as a Dean thesis statement.
C: Yeah, yeah. Like, did they really have to go back to hunting after this?
G: Yeah, just let him be there.
C: Just let him be there. We can get him some fake papers so he can like, get the paychecks actually, and then just let him be a PA! [G laughs]
So yeah. And also, he offers Sam a taquito, and he says, "They're wonderful," which is what he also said about the sliders, and that's kind of cute. But Sam does his judgmental thing again, which I don't get, but whatever, we already talked about how we don't get it. So Sam says that he conned his way into the morgue, which we didn't see at all [both laugh], because Ben Edlund hates Sam’s guts And yeah, Brad is like, definitely dead in there, so this isn't a Frank Jaffey situation.
G: All throughout this, they're doing this joke where Dean is like, not hearing Sam.
C: Yeah.
G: Because he keeps on talking to his headset, which I thought was pretty funny. Gets old a little bit later, but it's funny right now.
C: It is funny. Yeah.
So Dean says that he wants to show something to Sam and they go over to the sound guy, and he plays Sam the distortion that happened earlier. So it's EVP. Ghosts. Whoo.
G: Whoo.
C: So they decide to investigate where Brad died. Or no, the scene of the movie during which Brad died.
G: Yeah.
-
G: So they go to a fucking trailer. Whose trailer is this?
C: Yeah!
G: Later, they hang out here, and allegedly hang out there for six hours. Did you hear that? Six hours?
C: I did not- what?
G: 'Cause Sam is- Dean comes in and he's like, "Oh, have you seen anything else that's relevant in these tapes or something?" And Sam says, "Not for the past six hours."
C: OMG, no.
G: Why are they there? [laughing] It's been six hours! Whose trailer is this?
C: Maybe it's the trailer of one of the dead guys.
G: Exactly, perhaps so. Maybe it's Brad's trailer. Because it's fancy, too. It's nice.
C: Yeah.
G: They go inside the trailer, and they rewatch the scene of Brad falling through the ceiling. And, eventually, what they find is that there is a figure in the back from where Brad was, and Sam apparently recognizes this fucking blob of a figure [C laughs] and is like, "I know this person." And then they go see, and apparently, it's this woman named Elise Drummond who was like, a star back in the 30s. And she ended up killing herself inside this set because she became destitute after like, her executive boyfriend left her. So.
C: And fired her.
G: Yeah, fired her from her work. And that's their prime suspect now for who is doing the murders. So they go to burn her bones.
C: Yeah. They sure do.
-
C: So the next scene, it sort of cuts back and forth. So Sam and Dean are in some Hollywood cemetery trying to find Elise Drummond's grave. They see some fun-looking headstone. Dean's really enthused. And they reach it and start digging. Meanwhile, Jay, who's a producer, is alone on the set. And he's just on the phone being fake or whatever, but the lights eventually go out. So they seem to burn Elise, but this does not help Jay because there's a figure that passes by him even after the salting and burning. And he calls out to this figure and says, like, "Can you help me out and show me where the exit is?" And this guy turns around, and his face is fucked up. Like, part of his skull's missing and, like, there's stuff bulging out of it. So Jay screams, and then the fans on set turn on, and somehow have the strength to drag Jay into their wake. And then we got this fun shot where, when he hits the fan ,it cuts away to some white cloth-
G: [laughs] To some random-ass white cloth.
C: Yeah. We see red spraying all over it. Hell, yeah.
G: A detail you missed that I enjoyed is the fact that, because they're in Hollywood, the gravestones are of important people, some of them, right?
C: Oh, yeah.
G: So they have a map that they bought for $5, and like, that's why it was so easy for them to find the gravestone. Because they literally had a map. Which I thought was fun.
C: Yeah.
G: Do you think that's true? Have you ever been to LA?
C: I've been to LA but I haven't been to the Hollywood cemetery.
G: [laughs] Yeah, I presume so, but I imagine that to be true. I imagine there to be-
C: Yeah, that's probably accurate.
G: Yeah, anyway, eventually, we start a new scene, which means new scene from the movie. And this time, it's a fucking trailer.
C: It's so bad.
G: And I mean, it's so bad. It's such a good bad trailer. And one of the things that they were like, "From the makers of... Monster Truck." [both laughing]
C: Wait! Oh, god, was that- Did they use the same truck as the racist truck or-
G: Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. [C laughing] So that's extremely funny.
C: Oh, also we find out that this isn't- the shirts they've all been wearing are for the movie Hell Hazers. We find out that this is actually a sequel to Hell Hazers. It's [both] Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning.
G: So true.
C: Yeah, it's very funny that like, they're like, "Oh my god, we summoned the ghosts... again? [laughing] And they're going to kill us... [both] again? I didn't know that reading this Latin incantation would summon the ghost again!" So true.
G: Yeah. Anyway, Sam and Dean figure out that like, Elise is now dead, so it must not be her, so these ghosts may be playing tag team, because what happened, the thing with the fan that happened, also happened to another guy before. Which is such a terrifying way to die.
C: Yeah, like, sorry, dude.
G: What a terrifying way to die. Yeah. So, eventually, so what happens is the director calls in everyone and is like, "Hey, everyone, come here. [laughs] I know that two people died on set, but we must do what they would have wanted in their last moments in life [C laughs]. And that is to get Hell Raisers: The Reckoning on screen all across America!" [both laughing] So true.
C: And Sam looks like, weirded out by this, and so does Dean for a second, and then Dean just starts clapping with everyone.
G: Yeah, everyone starts clapping, and Dean is like, "Woo, yeah yeah yeah!" And Sam is like, “What the fuck?" which is the appropriate response, by the way.
C: Yeah, no, but Dean's part of the team now.
G: He is part of the team.
C: He wants to get Hell Blazers 2: The Reckoning on screen all across America too.
G: Yeah. But the director is like, "Yeah, we need to get Hell Raisers all across America, but not today. Today, you guys are coming home because we need to take a break for a couple of days for the investigation. Bye-bye!" And so they go away.
C: Yep. So we cut to the trailer that they've commandeered, and Sam's watching over and over the scene where Tara's reading the Latin incantation that raises the demons or ghosts or whatever. And yeah, the electrician who died, Dean finds out that he was cremated so they can't really do anything. And Sam says that he's been here for the last six hours watching this, trying to figure out what's up. And then he says the best line ever in this episode. [both laugh] "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. 'Cause I mean, it kind of does." [laughs]
G: So true.
C: So true.
I love when Sam's bitchy. Because I feel like, I feel like with Dean, they always know how to make him fun by like, making him like, dorky or overenthusiastic or something. And then they make Sam so unfun by being judgmental about it for no good reason.
G: Yeah, so the only way they could make him fun is if he's snarky.
C: Yeah.
G: So when they do it right, they do it well.
C: Yes.
G: But they just don't do it often enough. But this scene was so funny. And it is the best line of the entire episode. Like, "Maybe they're trying to shut down the movie because it sucks. Because it kinda does." [both laugh]
C: God, he's so funny.
So Sam suddenly realizes that like, this Latin incantation is like, an actual like, summoning ritual for the dead. Are they not afraid that playing it through the screen is going to summon the ghosts again?
G: I think it's just a matter of speaking it into existence.
C: Yeah, I suppose so. So playing a recording wouldn't work? Damn.
G: Yeah, they have to recite it.
C: So they show up in the office to talk to Marty, who is the writer of the script. And they came over and were like, "We wanted to talk to you because, like, we read the script," and like, Sam says, like, with the most effort he looks like he's ever put into anything like, "Yeah, it's awesome! Mm-hm! Totally." [G laughs] Yeah.
G: So true. [laughs] I feel called out by the portrayal of this guy. [laughing]
C: [laughing] Because of how you act about your Ace Attorney fic?
G: [laughing] Don't reveal my leanings on fanfiction at the present. But literally how I act when I talk about anything I've written, fanfiction or otherwise. Like, "Oh, it's good, right? It's so good, right? I literally wrote it like this because it's that way because it's good, and that's why it's good, right?" [C laughing]
C: Yeah, so right, Marty's like, "Yeah, yeah, it's rocking, right?" And Sam says, "Yeah, I liked all the attention to detail." And Marty's like, "Dude, right on! That's my thing! [G laughing] I mean, you know, color me guilty, but that is me! I'm a total detail buff!" [laughs] So true.
Yeah, so Sam says that "Yeah, like, you worked in real Enochian summoning rituals in there,." Which- I miss Cas. Why couldn't this ritual summon Cas?
G: So true. I mean, we're about to end season 2.
C: And then there's a whole other one!
G: But that's just 16 episodes. It will just pass. 16 weeks, that's so fast. It'll pass by.
C: That's true. Okay, that's true. Thank you.
Yeah, so Marty's like, "Oh, no that Latin shit? Like, that wasn't me, that was the original writer, Walter Dixon." Apparently, he's not a PA, he just has a clause in his contract that allows them to come on set, so he decided that during that time, he wanted to get actors water. [G laughs] Yeah, and so he wrote the invocations, and Marty says that his screenplay was bad because there was no pace or love interest, it's all exposition, etc.
G: So true. Supernatural-core. Literally, where are love in- where's Cas? Where's the love interest, you guys?
C: Yeah, where's the love interest? Give us Cas.
G: We need the love interest.
-
G: So we cut to Sam and Dean reading the script that Walter made, and it's literally called "Lord of the Dead." [both laugh] And Dean comments that it's actually good, and they should have kept it, blah blah blah. But Sam says, like, "It reads like a how-to manual on how to conjure actual spirits and how to like, make it so that they follow your bidding."
C: Do we ever learn where Walter learned this shit?
G: No, 'cause- I mean, I'm assuming-
C: He's just some guy?
G: Literally just some guy. And then he knows all this shit too as well.
C: Yeah, no, he's a human- I don't know. Maybe he learned it from like, a witch or something. But I think it's a weird that at no point do they try to find out where he was learning this stuff because maybe that person was teaching like, this to other humans, right?
G: Other people, yeah. Yeah. And eventually, they conclude that the reason why he's letting out the spirit is because he's mad about the movie. [both laughing] Literally the biggest tantrum fit I've ever seen in my fucking life. "You didn't put my movie on, and now, you're all gonna die!" [C laughs]
C: God. And I love how they're like, "Oh, yeah, that's a reasonable motive. Okay, we understand the situation now." Like [laughs], I would never have drawn that conclusion because it's so stupid. I would have been like, "Oh, he's summoning people to kill people, but like, he must have like, serious- like, someone here must have like, killed his parents," you know? [laughs] Like-
G: Yeah.
C: [laughing] It's just so stupid.
G: But yeah, eventually, a little bit later, we see the writer that we saw earlier, Marty, he's walking in the set, and then he comes across Walter. Well, actually Walter calls him to the set, right?
C: Yeah.
G: So Walter is, and he's asking Walter like, "Why are you calling me here? I'm busy. I'm writing a script." [laughs] Writers really do be like this. [both laugh] Literally, all my friends who are writers are exactly like this. Like, "Why are you talking to me? I'm writing right now. Fuck off, dude."
Walter says, like, "We could have made something good, but instead, you tore the script to pieces. And now, you're gonna pay!" [laughs]
C: He also says that "You replaced it with cleavage and fart jokes." Like, fucking bold of Ben Edlund to say, like, given the way he writes women.
G: Yeah. [both laugh] "You replaced it with sexualization of women! And fart jokes." To be fair, Ben Edlund has not had a fart joke.
C: That's true.
G: Thus far.
C: Thus far.
G: But, you know, Ben Edlund, you never know what to expect.
C: Who wrote the episode where Cas sits on the whoopee cushion?
G: Oh my god! [laughs]
C: Who wrote it? I need to know. "Whoopee cushion Castiel..."
G: "Whoopee cushion Castiel."
C: "... Supernatural." Is this going to give me-
G: No, it's not giving me the episode.
C: It's in [overlapping] "I Believe the Children are Our Future." I don't know anything about this one. Let me look up-
G: Oh my god. [laughs] It's written by Andrew Dabb! [laughs]
C: Oh my god. Course it was.
G: Yeah. So Andrew Dabb and Ben Edlund blended together is unnecessary cleavage and unnecessary fart jokes.
C: Yep. Yes. [laughing] He says you're gonna pay!
G: He's gonna pay! And then he raises a little pendant and starts chanting. So Marty turns around, and the guy from earlier is there. And Marty screams!
C: Did you find it really funny that he summoned the same guy again? Like, four people died on this set, and he's like, "I think the fan guy- that's like, my favorite little ghost guy. I think we should give him a go again."
G: He's so obsessed with this ghost. And I would be as well. The fan death is so much fun to watch.
C: It's true. It's true.
G: Literally, the first time I was like, "Ah!" I was that emoji where it's like, peering a little peek in the hands. [both laughs] Like, I was that emoji. Literally so true.
But this ghost, apparently, the reason why they get taken to the fan is because the ghost drags them to the fan. But before the ghost can drag him to the fan, Sam and Dean shoot the ghosts and show up, and then Sam turns off the fan, and then Dean is like, standing over the guy. Marty says, "You're one hell of a PA." [C laughs] And Dean says, “Yeah, I know." And then helps the guy up. What a loser! [C laughs] What a loser.
C: He is. He's a total loser. Good for him.
So we get the confrontation with Walter where he's like, "What are you doing?" "I could ask you the same thing!" And he starts- Walter starts heading up the scaffolding, and Sam's saying like, "You are doing dangerous things, raising spirits from the dead and making them murder for you." Which- how much is he controlling these people? Like, is he telling them who to kill?
G: I mean, perhaps. Maybe it's like the reaper situation.
C: Is he telling them how to do it? Like, 'cause I don't- like, was he like, "You should disrobe and then go up the-" like, how much power does he have?
G: I mean, maybe it's like, "Just kill this person," and then the ghost chooses like, the way they were killed.
C: Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
G: Yeah. I hope so. I wish that ghost did not like, non-consensually disrobe in front of the guy.
C: Yeah. Right, I hope that she just decided to have a bit of a hot girl summer before doing murder.
So yeah, Walter's like, "You don't understand! You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work! Years! And then they take it. And they crap all over it. And then they want you to smile and say thank you!" And Sam’s like, "Dude, it's just a movie."
G: [laughing] It's literally just a movie, dude.
C: It's literally just a movie.
You know that Tweet that you posted about Bakugo's death?
G: The what?
C: The Tweet you posted about Bakugo's death [G laughing] where someone said, like, "They live-streamed it. Like, he died in front of his parents." And someone replied like, "At first, I thought that you were talking about a real guy. Can you put like, a tone indicator that says '/drawing' or something?" [both laugh] Literally, can you put a tone indicator that says "/movie"?
G: For the uninformed, in the anime My Hero Academia, or, I don't know, is it a manga? I am not too informed on the thing.
C: There's a- there's an anime and a manga, so-
G: Yeah, I think he died on the manga, right? The current release on the
manga, he dies, Bakugo, and then like, the Twitters were in a shambles because literally like, who would have thought they would kill Bakugo or all people? [laughs] And people were Tweeting shit like, "He was killed in a live stream! [both laughing] [both] His parents saw that!" Do you think this is how people saw us when we were like, crying over Castiel dying, or like, Dean dying? Like, "It's just TV show, dude."
C: [laughing] Right, can you put a tone indicator that says TV on there?
G: Literally, he went to Superhell! [both laughing] He got stabbed in the back by a fucking nail! [overlapping] And then he died of tetanus. "Can you put a tone indicator that says 'TV show' in there?"
C: [laughing] His brother saw that shit!
Anyway. So, he says, "It's just a movie." [G laughing] And Walter's like, "Listen, just leave."
G: [laughing] Wait, I have another joke!
C: Okay, yeah.
G: [still laughing] Like, do you know Drew Gooden?
C: I've heard the name.
G: He's a YouTuber, and then he has a wife, and then like, [laughing], one time, like, he made this joke where one time, she was scrolling through Instagram, and the I, Tonya movie official account was like, advertised to her. And then [laughing] she didn't- she didn't read that it was I, Tony movie, she thought it said- [laughing harder] "It-" [laughing]
C: [laughing] What? [G still laughing] What? [G still laughing] What did you say? You say-
G: [laughing] She thought it said "it ony a-" [laughing]
C: What? [both laughing] It's only a movie?
G: [laughing] No. It says "i tonya movie" but she thought it said "it ony a movie." [both laughing]
C: [laughing] So true. It literally ony a movie.
G: [laughing] Literally- literally, it ony a movie. [both laughing]
C: Oh, god, okay. We just spent like, 10 minutes laughing at our jokes. This is gonna be a great BABPod episode. God, that's good though.
-
C: [laughing] Yeah, so Sam says, "It ony a movie." And Walter says, like, "I have nothing against you, but you need to leave, and leave Martin behind, so I can fucking murder him." And Dean says, like, "Sorry, we can't do that, not as a matter of principle-" or sorry, no, let me do that again. Dean says, "Sorry, we can't do that. It's not like we like him or anything, but, you know, out of principle." [both laugh]
G: So true.
C: And Walter's like, "Okay, well, ghost summoning time." So he summons four ghosts, two who are new to us, and all of them are injured in some way. And they all start walking towards them, but then they suddenly disappear because they're invisible now. For some reason.
G: Yeah, they're invisible. And it's like, we've never had an invisible ghost, right?
C: Yeah, I don't think so. Like, we've had ghosts with like, telekinesis powers. Maybe they just turn invisible and run at you really fast. [laughs]
G: Yeah. Me too.
C: But usually, they're visible during the telekinesis, so that doesn't work out.
So we get a whole thing where they start running away. Apparently, Dean does a thing, which apparently is a Die Hard-
G: Die Hard reference. I do not care about Die Hard.
C: Yeah, me neither, so I'm not even gonna say the line. They're pretty screwed. The whole time, Marty's being like, "Oh my god, ghosts are real? What? How is Walter controlling them?" 'Cause, you know, we somehow needed exposition for that, even though we saw Walter hold up a talisman and chant. Sam's like, "Probably the talisman!" [G laughs] Wow. Thanks. Wow.
G: So smart. He's so smart.
C: He is a real detective. He's a real ace attorney. [G laughs]
G: He's literally ace attorney investigating right now. [C laughs]
C: So Sam pulls out his cell phone camera because he says that film cameras are able to get the ghosts, so your cell phone camera should too. So he scans the room around [G laughs], and he sees one of the ghosts, and he goes like, "Dean, there!" And Dean just shoots. [G laughing] We get multiple scenes with Sam just swiveling the phone around and being like-
G: "There!"
C: "Gunboy, go!"
G: It's so stupid.
C: It looks like one of video game arcade shooter game things, you know? It's hilar.
G: Yeah. It's the stupidest thing they've ever done so far.
C: Yeah, though, didn't they do this in "Asylum" as well? It worked better in "Asylum."
G: I mean, there's a scene later- okay, I'll tell the rest of the scene, right? Eventually, Sam catch us up on the guy as Marty and Dean kill the ghosts, like, shoot the ghosts downstairs. And they end up in the fucking top of the building or something?
C: Yeah something like that.
G: On the roof. And what happens is Walter breaks the pendant. And Sam’s like, “Oh, why did you break it? Like, they're going to attack you because you forced them to do all these horrible things so they're mad at you." And they do. So. [laughs] At this point, Dean and Marty are also upstairs now.
C: And they just watch!
G: They just watch as this guy gets mauled. And at some point, like, Marty raises the camera, and like- [laughing]
C: We see four ghosts whaling on him.
G: [laughing] We see the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen in Supernatural, which is just four ghosts like, scratching up this guy's back. [C laughs] Jesus, it's so funny, I bursted laughing the moment they showed that shot.
C: Yeah.
G: What is going on? I mean, I get that this scene is supposed to be like- I get that the idea's supposed to be goofy, right? Because, like, they do it later in the actual movie, and it's seen as like, "Oh, look at these fucking losers," right? But like, here, at the kill shot, where it's like, he's getting mauled to death, you would want to think that it's going to be a little bit creepy or something, right?
C: Right.
G: But it's just actually hilarious.
C: Four people beating up on him. So good.
Listen, I know this guy murdered like, two people, but the fact that they don't even try to shoot the ghosts with salt, like, when they're killing him, like, it doesn't feel good.
G: Yeah.
C: I feel like Supernatural doesn't want to deal with the idea that sometimes the true monsters are people, and then like, they either have to confront the "we don't kill people policy" or they have to confront like, the criminal justice system [G laughs] as a way to like, deal with-
G: Which they will next episode!
C: Oh my god, fuck, you're right, it's "Folsom Prison Blues."
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah, okay, right. So like, so instead of dealing with any of that, they were like, "Just let the ghosts kill him so we don't have to think about this anymore."
G: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
C: Yeah. So, alright. RIP to Walter.
G: RIP. [laughing] At least his parents didn't see that shit. [both laughing] It was not live-streamed
C: Well, we don't- maybe the camera was filming.
G: [laughs] They live-streamed-
C: Maybe they put that shit online. [both laugh]
G: Sorry to all Bakugo fans or whatever, like- [laughs]
C: [laughing] I'm not. He seems annoying. Goodbye to all listener, but I don't like Bakugo, I think. [G laughs]
G: I don't know anything about- it's so weird saying it as My Hero Academia because, like-
C: It's BNHA.
G: Which is like, I think that's a product of like, every single person who watches this is a nerd, so like, they would not say My Hero Academia, you know? [both laugh]
C: Yeah.
G: [laughing] We are just dunking on fans of the show so hard. I'm so sorry to all BNHA fans.
C: Sorry, fans. The memes when Mineta was like, ambiguously bi were really funny.
G: I have no idea about any of this. All I know is that Bakugo is dead. [both laugh]
C: This is gonna age so badly when he comes back from the dead in the like, next installment, and people are like, "These fucking idiots think Bakugo's dead."
G: I mean, Cas came back to life, but all the jokes about him dying are still funny, so.
C: That's true.
G: [laughing] This is so rich coming from a Supernatural podcast. [C laughs] Future Ace Attorney podcast. [laughs]
C: How would- would I be playing it for the first time? Would that how it works?
G: I don't think you would want to play Ace Attorney, so.
C: Yeah, probably not, so you'd do it solo.
G: It would be a podcast where we do like, I talk about Ace Attorney, and in the meantime, you talk about like, fucking Pocket Frogs or something. [both laughing]
C: Yeah, I'll be like, "I caught another fly!" [both laugh]
G: Yeah, exactly.
C: So we get our final movie scene, where two characters are in a house, scanning the room with a cell phone. And, like, the woman's going like, "Oh my god, there's a ghost there!" and points, and the guy shoots. And she says, "I don't understand. How can the spirits appear in the camera phone?" And the guy says, "The video must pick up their frequencies in a way that our eyes can't." Which is like, an explainer, I guess, but you know, with layers.
G: Isn't the bigger question here like, "Why is the shotgun working?"
C: [laughs] Right.
G: Like, couldn't they put the explainer over the fact that, like, the shotgun is actually loaded with salt and also how the fuck did these kids load the shotgun with salt?
C: Yeah, but I mean, I guess because the purpose of it is to serve as an explainer for the phone thing in the full episode [G laughs], they felt they didn't need to explain the salt. But yeah.
G: [laughs] Because they already explained it last episode. Two episodes ago. So true.
C: Yeah. And also in- what was it?
G: "Hook Man"?
C: Yeah.
Yeah, Marty is really excited about this whole situation, and Sam says, like, "You find out there's an afterlife, and this is what you do with it?" And Marty says, "I needed a little jazz on the page," [laughing] and then jazz music starts playing.
G: Are you for real?
C: Or jazzy-ish music starts playing [G laughs], and it continues through the rest of the end of the episode.
G: [laughing] I feel like I do not trust you to know what jazz music sounds like.
C: Fine. There were brass instruments in it, and to me, that's jazz. [both laugh]
G: Yeah, anyway, Sam is walking towards the outside of the lot, and then he sees like, a - what do you call this? - a trailer that Tara Benchley's name on it, and it's rocking, so, you know, she's having a fun time inside. And then, as he goes to the door, Dean comes out, and he's fixing his collar, and his hair is all messed up! And he looks soo cute! And, you know, Tara Benchley is up there and she's like, smiling at Dean, she's flirting it up, and she says, again, “You're one hell of a PA.” And Dean’s like, "Thank youu." [C laughs] And then they walk away. Dean like, grabs a sandwich, and they walk into the sunset. Except the sunset is just a prop, and it's not real. So they walk towards the rest of the lot.
It's a nice ending, honestly.
C: It is.
G: For a very boring, very bad episode. [both laughing] It's not bad, it's not bad. I take that back.
C: The payoff of the plot being that it's just this guy named Walter who's just weird is- [laughs]
G: It's actually quite funny. It is quite funny.
C: It is funny, but I don't know if it works. It's funny because it's bad. [laughs]
G: Yeah.
Okay, so what are your thoughts about this? You think it's funny but because it's bad. I think it's entertaining but not that much. [laughing]
C: Yeah.
G: I mean, it's a fine episode. I get why people would like it, but I also get why people would be like, "Eh, it's whenever."
C: Yeah, none of this is anywhere near as entertaining as the Sam awkward sequence in Maddy's house in "Heart."
G: [laughs] Yeah. None of this is as interesting as Sam saying, "You're different." [both laugh] Or whatever it is he said there.
C: "You're... unusual."
G: "You're unusual." [C laughs] So yeah.
C: Yeah.
G: [laughs] Best Line/Worst Line.
C: Well, we said what the best line was many, many times. Which was, "You know, maybe spirits are trying to shut down the movie 'cause they think it sucks. 'Cause, I mean, it kind of does."
G: Literally so true, it does suck, and the spirits are trying to take it down. But what's your worst line?
C: Huh. Um...
G: I have no idea.
C: There's no lines on this episode that mean anything.
G: Exactly. 'Cause like, the bad lines are bad on purpose, I feel like, is what they're doing, right?
C: Right.
G: So like, it's tongue-in-cheek, so.
C: Right.
G: [laughing] "It ony a movie" is my worst line. [both laughing]
C: So true. Oh, god. I don't have a worst line. I'll go with yours. [G laughs]
G: [laughing] A line that doesn't even exist in the episode.
C: Exactly.
G: Okay. Rating. So what do you think is the IMDB rating of this episode? I'll go first. I'll say it's an eight... I think the references are lost to us, but I'm assuming they're not to the target audience at the time, which is who rates these things the most probably, right?
C: Yes.
G: So I would say this is an 8.6.
C: Yeah, okay. Yeah, I agree that it will be fairly high for that reason, and also because the Deangirls really like this episode. But it's bad. I'm gonna go with an 8.5.
G: Okay. Let's see... Oh, you're closer! It's an 8.4.
C: Okay. I'm glad that they agree that it was boring.
G: "Delightful camp. Not quite the much later episode 'The French Mistake.'" Yeah, like, this reminds you a lot of "The French Mistake" in a way, right? Like, this is the precursor to that.
C: Mm.
G: Yeah. But instead of just making fun of the industry, I feel like that more is making fun of Jared and Jensen, specifically-
C: Yeah.
G: - the French m- [laughing] Jesus Christ. I just recalled, like, people saying why "The French Mistake" is called "The French Mistake," and I- I- [laughs]
C: Wait, why is it called "The French Mistake"?
G: [laughs] Should I cut this out? But like, apparently the French mistake is a term that is like, when like, two guys sleep together and then like, can't talk about it afterwards. And in "The French Mistake," Sam and Dean are- I mean Jared and Jensen are like, not talking to each other.
C: [laughing] Oh my god! [screams] Wait, because that episode does strongly imply that the people on set think that Jared and Jensen are sleeping together. [G laughs]
G: Yeah.
C: Yeah, okay.
G: It's really funny.
C: We can discuss that when it happens.
G: Yeah.
G: It's just- do you think the placement of this episode is weird?
C: Yeah. I mean, it'd be weird early in season two too because John just died. But yeah, immediately after "Heart" is weird.
G: I mean, the next episode is "Folsom Prison Blues," and then the one after that is, I think, another- "Dream a Little Dream of Me"? Or is it like, "What Is and What Should Never Be"? I think that's season 3, actually. Let me see.
C: Wait, okay, wait, no, I think it's season 2, no, I think you're right. Which pisses me off.
G: No, it's "What Is and Should Never Be."
C: Yeah, is that- is that in season 2?
G: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C: Wait that pisses me off. This is Sam's season. That's like- why is that 2.20?
G: Towards the end, too, yeah.
C: What does that have to do with Azazel?
G: I don't fucking know. I hate Supernatural so much it's unreal.
C: It makes a lot more sense in season three because season 3 is the "Dean is going to die" season.
G: Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, who cares.
C: Whatever, I hate Supernatural.
G: Let's end this episode. [laughs]
So that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties! Next week, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 19: "Folsom Prison Blues." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #babpod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to anyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!
[guitar music]
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Pointless activity numero 10
May 7th, 2009
A new favorite activity of mine involves taking a old news story and trying to turn it into a Hollywood pitch. It’s pointless and harmless and is much like making things out of tin foil along to Blue Peter but then trying to eat the tin foil just to see what it feels like…Feels weird just in case you wondered.
Anyway here is my latest (and first) effort in a game I like to call “pointless activity number 8″ or “Hollywoodizing the news”
Firstly a Synopsis of The News Story: On the 21st of March 2009 Google’s “Street View” went online in the UK, this technology allowed people to take a 360 degree tour of 25 city’s from the comfort of their computer, however some images were removed for invading privacy laws including one showing a man coming out of a sex shop in Soho.
The Hollywood Pitch:
A one syllabled sexy yet scruffy man is on the run for his life, unwillingly partnered with his glasses clad sexy photographer ex girlfriend. One syllable has unwittingly found himself involved in a global computer conspiracy, which threatens to destroy the world….unless he can figure out how to put a stop to it. Its one man against “The Man’s” unquestionable thirst for consumerism in a world full of pain.
Brad/Buck/Ben is a sad mess of a man who eats noodles from a bin whilst playing World of Warcraft/Day of The Tentacle. He was recently fired from the world’s largest Internet server Noogle after he found their new product City View too unsavoury for his ethical code. He is a man with morals who is potential sexy. His best friend still works for them but the day after City View is launched he is brutally murdered and our hero is framed for the crime!
The night before the brutal murder our hero was on the Noogle site and happened to noticed this odd looking guy coming out of his apartment building with a really big knife and a balaclava but he didn’t think much of it at the time but now…. it all makes sense. He tells the cops (Ed Burns with a wig) about the picture, but they don’t believe him, luckily he sent it to his sexy photographer ex girlfriend to check out (Kate Hudson in glasses.) However when she agrees to help him they both start getting framed! Bank cards bounce! There photos are in convenience stores! He has to cut his hair and have a shave! Oh he is sexy.
They find the knife man, but he is dead!
The audience by this point will be like “NO WAY!”
Then the police turn up and although they escape Buddy tells Ed Burn’s he is so innocent. He doesn’t shoot him when he has the chance (it’s not like the fugitive, they can’t sue, the dead man has a knife not one arm, plus Ford owes me a favour). This makes whigful Ed Burns begin to think there is something fishy going on, and he starts investigating Noogle, and discovers it was invading privacy laws with City View….
Anyway our two hero’s end up finding out more info (someone approaches them in a diner whose wife was molested by Noogle and he wants to spill,) which leads them to the final showdown with Noogle’s boss.
He confesses everything, saying how they had to kill Ben’s friend because he was going to tell everyone about how City View was being used by the mafia/bank/ Richard Bacon/devil.
As the Noogle boss who is the guy who plays the farmer in Babe tells them his plan from behind his big office chair the police turn up, and the boss tells Ed Burns to shoot the guy, but Brad/sexy bespectled slut have e already put it up on twitter. Luckily Ed Burns is a follower of there’s, and he tells the evil boss that the game is up. He gets a shot in at Brad, but is shot by Burns first and falls out of the huge glass window of his office toppling 800 floors, shouting out “nooo!!!!!”/ “WHHHYYYY!!” or “That’ll do piggggg!!!” as he plunges to his death. Brad lives and Burns and the girlfriend gather around his hospital bedside, and they made some joke, and then maybe the credits should have a song by The Fray.
Sample dialogue from script:
“You have not been the same since she left.”
“I’m just an innocent man in a crazy mixed up world”
“I never stopped loving you, I just stopped loving what you had become.”
Suggested Film Names
The City View of Death
Bad Technology
The Butterfly
Budget will be 500 million
Ellen x
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My Barbenheimer Experience
(I don’t think there are any spoilers here, just basic thoughts on the movies)
Saturday, July 22, 2023 7:23 PM
I guess I feel the need to type “Barbenheimer” even more this weekend so I figured I’d recap my busy Friday at the movies. It was definitely an experience and people need to know this information. Yes, this is important.
WELL, I’m on the internet so I was aware of the Barbenheimer meme phenomenon and knew I’d see both movies at some point but didn’t make any plans until my friend BJ texted a week or 2 ago asking if I’d want to join he and 1 or 2 other people for the movie event of the year. It doesn’t take much to get me to watch movies so I said I was down. We got our tickets for a 10:45 showing of Oppenheimer on one of the XD screens at Tinseltown in Grapevine followed by Barbie at 5:30. Cool.
So Friday rolls around and I drive the half hour over to the theater, which I don’t go to often these days but it was the main place I saw movies at in high school so it always makes me think of the late 90s when I go back. I remember Friday nights and teenagers driving fancy cars their parents bought them. #memories Anyway…
I met up with BJ in the lobby as he waited for his friend Michael. I got a large popcorn and a bottled water, my usual lately. I found our seats and went for a successful pee and sat back down like 30 seconds before the movie started. Now, to be clear I think all I knew about Oppenheimer, the actual person, was that he was the father of the atomic bomb. I was more going to see the new Christopher Nolan movie than because I’m a history buff but I was glad to have a chance to learn more.
The screen was gigantic, like 3 or 4 stories high, and the filmmaking and acting were top notch but there was more talking than I expected and for some reason I kept losing focus and just blanking out for whole scenes, which of course were important to remember later, so I kept feeling like it was going over my head. I think I’m going through a sort of personal Christopher Nolan existential crisis where I can’t tell if I’m a fan anymore. I respect and admire his ambition but I’ve been having a difficult time hooking into the stories in his movies. I think maybe he’s smarter than me and I feel kinda dumb. Yesterday, I kept telling myself that it was an important story and that I should pay attention better but I just couldn’t chill out and enjoy the movie like a normal person. Maybe I was thinking too much about how I was going to watch another movie afterwards, I’m not sure. I just know that as the movie kept going I got noticeably sleepier, which doesn’t typically happen with me at movies. Like I kinda wanted to take a nap even though I got decent sleep the night before.
All this to say I had a pretty lukewarm feeling about the movie by the end of it, which I’m pretty sure isn’t the normal response; most seem to be blown away by it. I’m seriously not sure what my deal is because I think it was a good movie and I’d recommend it, but I was just sorta bored if I’m being honest. I’m sure it’ll be nominated for Best Picture later and maybe I’ll revisit it but I just wasn’t feeling it much on the first viewing.
Anyway, after it was over we walked out and the other 2 seemed more positive than I was. We had 3 hours to kill before Barbie and Michael went home so I hung out with BJ. We went to his house where his wife and 2 of his daughters were and it was hilarious to me that we were leaving them soon after to go watch Barbie with 2 other dudes (a 4th, Codey, joined us).
If you asked me before we went which of the 2 movies I was looking forward to the most it would 1,000 times be Barbie. I’m a big fan of Greta Gerwig’s previous 2 movies Lady Bird and Little Women and was excited to see what she would do with a giant Hollywood movie. I don’t have much of a connection to Barbie as a toy but it’s an interesting pop cultural thing to play around with and the trailers and promotional material made it look like a blast. Also, her partner Noah Baumbach co-wrote the script with her, and he’s a director I enjoy, as well as his writing collaborations with Wes Anderson, (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and Fantastic Mr. Fox) so Barbie has been in the “stick it in my veins”-zone for me for a while.
Anyway, I was disappointed with one thing going in. Where we got to see Oppenheimer on a gigantic screen, Barbie was playing in one of those older, longer auditoriums and we were sitting near the back so the screen was maybe 8 times tinier. I knew the movie was going to be dynamite visually so I wished we could’ve been closer to the screen (maybe I’ll see it again just for that reason). I didn’t mention this earlier but ALL DAY LONG we were passing by groups of people dressed in pink and it seemed like over half the people in our screening were outfitted for the movie, which added a fun extra layer to the experience. BJ and I thought about going to Target between the movies to get pink shirts but didn’t make it.
I thought the movie was incredibly entertaining and creative and super weird for a big studio tentpole, which made me like it even more. I don’t know how Gerwig got away with so much of what happened. I can see a lot of people not enjoying it, but I admired how boldly it was its own thing; it felt very punk rock for a movie that’s going to make boatloads of dollars. It reminded me of The LEGO Movie in how it used the IP in a fresh way and made an actual good movie out of a film that was probably put into production mainly to sell toys. The most impressive parts of Barbie to me were clearly the production design and the performances. I couldn’t believe how cool the sets and props looked and Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling could seriously, weirdly be nominated for Oscars for playing these toys.
More than anything the movie reminded me of things like The Brady Bunch Movie in how it took a beloved, if dated, property and honored it while also satirizing what it stands for. I remember seeing that movie in the 90s when it came out and not getting it and thinking it wasn’t very good, but I rewatched it a few years ago and thought it was hilarious. Heh.
If you haven’t seen Gerwig talk about the movie’s inspirations they’re pretty interesting. She’s cited The Wizard of Oz, The Truman Show, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Singin’ in the Rain, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Rear Window and many others as references. It’s fun to think of the movie leading young, emerging cinephiles to some true classics.
I’m glad I was able to see both movies on the same day and fulfill the meme but it was honestly a LOT and I don’t think I processed either one especially well. This was a special movie day though and I’m happy I got to participate. I think that’s about it. Thanks for reading.
SUBLIME!
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Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 🎶🎧💜💙🤗
Is it sad that, despite being best friends, I read "send this to your favourite mutuals" and my instant reaction was:
*Pleading Face Emoji* I'm a favourite?!
Rofl!
ANYWAYS My defunct brain patterns aside, I fucking love sharing my playlists. I know you know this, so thank you for the ask <3
I've not gone with a Work In Progress Specific playlist, mainly because Changeling doesn't have one, and Darkling doesn't have enough songs on it yet, so instead I've chosen my general playlist for 2023. It includes all my current favourite songs, and any new music I find this year that I want to add to my playlist soup.
If I'm looking for a new song for the next chapter, this is the playlist I shove on shuffle.
So without futher ado, 5 songs beneath the cut...
Taylor Swift - Style
I don't know why, but ther way this one is sung just sounds super flirty, and gives old school, silver screen, holywood love story vibes.
youtube
You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time
'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style
2. Nickelback - Someday
One of my favourites of theirs. Which is saying a lot because there's not many Nickelback songs I DIS-like. But I love how the song lyrics make you think one thing, and then you watch the video and it's even more heartbreaking and tragic than it sounds. It really made my appreciate Chad Kroeger as a lyracist.
youtube
Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
3. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack
I cannot believe this one shuffled onto the list of over 350 songs I'm using.
It's my THEME song for Reilly Mosswolf from my book, Stolen. When I need to get back into Reilly or Stella's headspace I'll listen to this song or Stella's Theme "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten.
youtube
You make me glow
But I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm putting my defenses up
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack
4. Blake Shelton - Honey Bee
Bloody Hell. My love of cheesy country music is showing here. I'm a closet romantic and Country Music really touches on that romantic streak in my, particularly Blake Shelton's songs.
Plus the music video is cute as fuck.
You'll be my sunny day
I'll be your shady tree
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee.
Yeah, that came out a little country
But every word was right on the money
And I got you smilin' honey right back at me
5. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)
You can't do much better for a power balland than Clarkson, and her lyrics are usually on the empowering side. This isn't one of my favourites from her, but it always manages to put me in a kickass kinda mood.
youtube
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinkin' 'bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
I've got over 350 songs on this list, so for anyone additionally curious about my music tastes, I'll link the full playlist HERE.
#Asks#Asks Answered#Ari Speaks#Arista Speaks#Friends#Mutuals#FaelanVance#Writing#Writing Community#Writeblr#Writeblr Community#Music#Songs#Lyrics#Nickelback#Taylor Swift#Blake Shelton#Demi Lovato#Kelly Clarkson#Youtube#Stolen#Stella#Reilly#Stella Korazon#Reilly Mosswolf
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