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#anyway I'm rambling in the tags oopsie
arklay · 1 year
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RESIDENT EVIL → DR. DIANA WESKER
"This is how a girl becomes holy: first she becomes empty." — Brynne Rebele-Henry, Prelude
[templates × & × — insp — playlist]
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moinsbienquekaworu · 1 year
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Rewatched OFMD for my presentation and I don't know how I managed to be normal about Izzy for months but I sure as fuck am not normal about him right now
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thebardscipher · 5 months
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Me: The Sword Suit terrifies me. Whenever a Sword card shows up in a reading I'm filled with dread. To me, Swords are MUCH more terrifying than The Tower, and definitely more terrifying than Death or The Devil. Like if a movie wants me to fear for the characters, they'll reveal a Sword card, not The Death card.
Also me: This character is This Sword card and this character is This Sword card. And this character fits this Sword card to a T! This character right here is the EPITAMY of This Sword card, I've never seen a character more THIS Sword card than this character in my life....
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constantineshots · 9 months
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these were some of the tags on the post where john was commenting on if facing demons was because he being self-destructive or if he was being enraged. i say both, and very much do agree with the tags, but i'm putting what i have to say on it under the cut because it's going to be a lot. trigger warnings for abuse, mentions of death/animal deaths, depression, etc. also a bit of rambling. this also somehow turned into psychoanalyzing. oopsie.
naturally, john and i have vastly different experiences regarding life, but i think there's a connect that helps me see things through his lens a lot more clearly, especially when it comes to the psychological.
just a bit of recap on my life i guess, but i'll just say "i got abused" and we'll move on from there. i can connect, in sum.
while john has newcastle and the deaths of friends under his belt, the abuse of his father, the blame of the death of his mother ( though i can't remember if he knew about his twin or not, but i don't think he did ), the magic, the killing animals, the killing of that one man all weighing on his shoulders and then much, much more, the trauma left behind was something i could easily connect with because of the depression, the self-destruction, the instances where even he himself is debating on suicide and alludes to it consistently, while also doing things to save his own ass but also that could very easily kill him. it's conflicting.
for me, i was angry and self-destructive because i felt like the world hated me. i'm sure if there was some form of power that i thought could help make me feel more powerful and i had less of an obligation to my siblings of whom faced the same treatment, i would have taken it and ran with it, too.
but there are things you start to do. you learn to lie to keep yourself out of trouble, give the people hurting you the truths they want to hear and it's something you learn to do in every day life. you'd say something that fed into what they wanted to be the truth and get the same abuse anyway, except the arguments wouldn't be as long and you'd get out of the situation faster. it's a bit of a morbid way to look at it, but while people tell you to "fight back", it's not that easy. i think it's why i connect to john so much- he didn't necessarily fight back against his dad from what we could tell until he eventually did the spell to keep his dad sick. and people will constantly say "i'd just fight back", or "i wouldn't have let that happen to me when i was a kid" and that ends up enforced in some medias that people write.
john does a lot of running and ducking his head and getting other people wrapped up in his shit. it's a path of destruction because he doesn't realize, at first, that it's going to be as big of a shit show as he thinks. for example, with ritchie, when ritchie says "oh i can handle it no worries john it's my expertise" etc. and john trusts it- he needs something done, and someone's willing to do it. but then ritchie ends up another person hurt or dead in what he thinks is his own fault.
you get told the same thing so many times throughout your life that you eventually start to believe it. sometimes, things just fuck up. you get called killer all your life, it only takes so long before you think that, well, maybe you're the curse. maybe you're all the bad shit that everyone says you are.
i do want to note that john does have dissociative episodes, especially in the newer run of hellblazer and he straight up says that. however, as someone who's taken so many psychology classes that i probably could have gotten a degree in it had my university provided the program, that doesn't necessarily mean a disorder, but it does usually fall under ptsd, depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorders, borderline personality disorders, schizophrenia, and other disorders. most disorders fall under these categories, though.
i have c-ptsd, depression, anxiety, and probably a lot of other mental disorders not explored because of past traumas that i could probably connect to his self destructive nature, but john has also probably only seen the therapists in ravenscar that proceeded to give him electro shock therapy while everyone else who had the nerve decided to beat the fuck out of him because they thought he killed astra. so more trauma tacked on to john's little plethora of already traumatic memories.
to be technical, there is a difference between c-ptsd and ptsd. with c-ptsd, the symptoms tend to begin six months or more after the initial traumatic event. *cracks knuckles* there is also a difference in symptoms, though they aren't necessarily exclusive to one or the other. c-ptsd tends to also be a result of ongoing, repeated emotional traumas, and on top of that, holds the trauma of ptsd, and then more. to clarify, ptsd usually has symptoms of dissociative episodes, flashbacks, dreams and nightmares related to trauma, commonly taking part in self-destructive behaviors, etc. to tack onto c-ptsd's symptoms, there is the constant feeling of guilt, constant hate towards yourself, consistently believing the world is bad in general, etc. i also want to focus on the fact that c-ptsd usually stems from childhood abuse, which is why i personally think john has c-ptsd, and then it just got worse from there. but you can have both! that's possible. so. i mean. well. call it like it is, john's probably got both.
anyways, moving on! borderline personality disorder, or bpd, kind of changes somewhat person to person, but overall, i think that the symptoms can fit john, in some cases. i pulled up a list just to be a little more clear and concise, but there is "an intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection" and i would really like to point out that, most of the time, john likes to say things like "i'm not good for you" or "i walk this path alone" or. you know, things along that line. for the most part, he pushes people away before they can get close. "a pattern of unstable intense relationships" and i would like to use chas as an example, which i know people would hate, but there are quite a few moments throughout hellblazer where chas will literally tell john that he hates him or shove his face in a toilet and tell him that's where he belongs.... and john doesn't walk away, he just lets chas walk away and come back because. well. why not? he thinks he deserves it half the time. but also, most of john's relationships aren't exactly stable. half the time, his niece and sister don't want to see him, the other half are his relationships that end fairly quickly, and others are just. john being john. "...seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all." "impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success" the guy smokes after having of had lung cancer. what more do you want for an example. he also consistently does magic even though it's fucked over his life multiple times. again and again and again and he knows that it's fucking him over. unsafe sex can also be debated- in the newer version of hellblazer, he has an illegitimate son named noah that he didn't know existed, for example. and that's where i'll leave that. though in some cases, it can be argued as symptoms of ptsd, though it's possible he could have bpd.
this is going to be the last one, and i am not a doctor or anything but i think that it's possible he could have schizophrenia, or simply hallucinations as a result of any of the other disorders on here, which is sometimes possible but not exactly always common. based on john being an unreliable narrator, there is the suggestion that the ghosts that plague john constantly are not actually there, and that they might just be hallucinations. there are other symptoms of schizophrenia, but i've mostly covered them above. visual hallucinations also include people who are typically loved ones and friends who are no longer alive, i would like to add, but again, they could actually be ghosts, though it's somewhat possible that they're not. in the case that the ghosts are not real....
ANYWAYS. feel free to add more. i did it quick, but. there is this....
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devondespresso · 9 months
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WIP Wednes-eekend: Summer Challenge Edition 
tagged by @stobinesque​ 💕💖💞 Im not sure if the summer challege edition is like. specific to your fics or not so oopsies if it is
The Rules
Post the file names of up to 5 of your WIPs for people to send you asks
Post a snippet of one of those WIPs
When people send you an ask with the name of one of your WIPs, write 3 lines of that WIP.
(Optional) Post the lines you wrote.
You can send multiple requests especially since this is going on through the weekend!
Also feel free to send as many as you want, im gonna devote my free time to this anyway so your just directing the adhd energy to a specific section
WIPs
Since I’m planning on just going wild on my Steve Henderson AU for the foreseeable future and I’m doing a lot of jumping around in it, I figured i’d list different chapters I’m working on as the wips (I also just really wanted to share chapter titles early because i put a lot of effort into making these meme references relevant and i think theyre funny) So in no particular order but definitely chronological because this is just chapters 3-6.5:
1. Get yo fucking dog, bitch (It don’t bite) (YES IT DO)
2. What the fuck kinda dog is that? (Bitch an interdimensional dog)
3. “Lab Work Ahead?” Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does
4. There’s one thing worse than a demodog (Boom) A Billy Hargrove (Actually yes)
5. ✨Bonus Chapter (Dustin pov): Can we go to the tunnels (*slamming*) Can we please go to the tunnels
Snippet
this ones from chapter 3 aka Get Yo Fucking Dog, Bitch
They pulled up to Steve’s again, this time into Steve’s garage connected to the front of the house. Steve hopped out, running over to unlock the door and crack it open. Dustin was still in his seat, looking around the room. Impressed with the house: a reaction that King Steve usually found validating but now made Just Steve uneasy.
Steve went over and knocked on his window before crossing back to the other side and opening the backseat door. Dustin turned around.
“You have your own garage?”
He nodded, putting two bags in one arm and grabbing a third.
“C’mon, are we in a rush or not?” he joked. Dustin climbed out, still distracted.
Steve pushed through the door, catching it with his foot before it could bump into the wall and waited for Dustin who was balancing three bags of his own.
They turned the corner and he set the bags on the kitchen island, Dustin still absently taking everything in. It took a few trips, but eventually they got all the meat on the counter, leaving the pasta and dry groceries in the car to save time.
“Alright, you start unloading stuff and I’ll find us some buckets or something.” he said, setting the last bag down and heading back to his garage, “And do not touch the knives until I’m back.”
“Dude, I’m twelve, I can hold a knife.”
“Just don't start without me, okay?"
"Five minutes and then I'm raiding your knife block."
Tags
hiding the tags down here because i definitely rambled too much up top so (no pressure ofc) @blushweddinggowns @spicysix @wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @eriquin @marvel-ous-m 💃🪩🕺
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pup-pee · 2 months
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This is so random but I saw ur tags in the rb of an old birdflash fanart and ur energy just resonated with me and I was like I must follow this person... Anyways hello:D ur art style is so lovely I'm so glad I found this blog I am fucking insane over Wally West but also batfam and THE BARRY & WALLY FATHER SON DYNAMIC IS THE ONLY THING EVERRGGRHRHTJFJKZKSKSJFKK
Also I am staring at the tmnt in ur bio, I saw a comment recently that said that Leo & Raph are basically dick and Jason and omg I have never been the same since like WTF why are they so right....
omgomg HELLO??? u liking my tags actually means sm wtf skgjkajkgkh BUT HI YES HELLO HEY!!! TYSM 4 LIKING MY ART AS WELL OMG??? bcb cb c bc bc u points @ u u like wally i have a silly hc i drew a little bit ago
THIS GOT RLLY LONG SO IM SRRY LSKJFKSL
i will give it 2 u bc y not skjgkgALSO INCLUDES A BIT OF WALLY + BARRY WHICH IS Y I THINK HT OF IT OK
BASICALLY ITS A HC ABOUT WALLY WEARING GLASSES THEN EVENTUALLY WEARING BRACES/HEADGEAR BC LISTEN PLS HEAR ME OUT
glasses bc i just think so theres rlly no other reason just always had glasses as a kid
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IGNORE THR TRASH ITS JUST HOW I DO MY SKETCHBOOKS ANYWAYS AKHFK
SO GLASSES RIGHT??! THEN HE BCAME A SPEEDSTER likekeeee preteen-ish? if im not wrong// BUT LIKE getting accelerated,,,, everything ig @ that age would b CRAZYY so i think his teeth got kinda vry fucked up((im so nice 2 the blorbos,,,i swear,,,,((dont belive me)) SO HE HAD 2 GET BRACES & HEADGEAR
he doesnt wear contacts no matter how roy or dick tries 2 convince him he doesnt want 2 use their money
he will keep taping his silly blocky glasses until they literally turn 2 ash
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just take the whole sketch book page whateverrrr r rr
BUT YEAH THATS OT OTS SILLY & MEANS NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING 2 ME barrys there just listening 2 him talk bc no1 used 2 listen 2 him infodump about much b4 idk
i feel the need 2 show wally sketches but i rlly dont have that much((that isnt au related))
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i think this 1 is silly anywhoo there was tmnt in this & ill brb
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LITERALLY THEMM i was NKT reasy 2 draw fhem 2day omg skfjksjf they looks so ass i swear i can draw a pretty dick
jason tho??…,,,,,, uhm uhm srry pat pats
also srry u only rlly((like RLLY)) know tmnt2012 so akhfkfk
GIVE JASON A SPIKE RN((talked w/madi & jason actually needs a bearded dragon)) <- putting this hear so if i ever reread this ill know
ANYWAYS RED BLUE SIBLINGS SO TRUE ITS ACTUALLY THEM JSUT
im remembering some of the more,,,dramamtic moments of 2012 tmnt & like holy hell yeah
i gotta bring out the tmnt au again its literally mostly abiut dimentsion x bc angst but holymoly
holy moly ahhahabf my humoresuck i kinda 4got what i was writing tbh so oopsies
hey guys? what do we think of s2 -> s3? ((leo in a coma + canine)) ????? how we feelingvvvbbb jsi!!?!? im literally talking 2 myself & thid point ermmm
ANYWAYS HI I CANT BELEIVE U UR SO SILLY U READ THE TAGS AKFJFKV seey 4 my rambling :3
/e wave 2 u!!!!!
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revui · 1 year
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blorbo rundown
finally giving updated and halfway sufficient descriptions of 4 out of 16 of the major blorbos that i'm constantly tagging and going insane over. these descriptions are rambly and longer than i thought they'd be. enjoy(? i don't know if that's possible)
blorbo #1 is harker karamazov. a poet. a dragon. genderfluid (he figures this out over the course of the story, at first he thought he was just transmasc). bro spends her entire section of the narrative assuming that the plot goes by jurassic park t-rex rules as in, if she does absolutely nothing then it won't get her. (spoiler he is got). her major conflict is against a fully grown man who treats his obsession with finding and killing dragons like a side hobby. like knitting or cocaine or whatever. harker is a 6/10 blorbo and loses a lot of points for thinking he could escape the lens of the narrative
blorbo #2 is miranda hilton. a human. autistic (no inside voice). requires that everyone likes her all the time forever or she might melt into the floor. unlike hark she is an eager participant in the narrative, not the broad narrative but the threads of a fabricated narrative within the wider story that she has unwittingly woven herself into. she nearly sets an entire town on fire multiple times (and it's always the same town too). her major conflict is against a random teenage boy who would definitely use reddit on earth and unironically say "why don't women like nice guys." he wants to date her but miranda has a girlfriend already so she goes "no thanks man" and he refuses to take that like a rational human being should. anyway miranda is like a 9/10 blorbo and i only dock points because she isn't as pathetic as she could be
blorbo #3 is ignatia twist. a bitch. a perfectionist. comes from old money. one of her dads owns mines. her entire family line for like 13ish generations (i think? can't remember the exact number off the top of my head) has been known for having really powerful magic and naturally using a very difficult casting technique but ignatia actually can't do that so she uses illegal earrings that artificially enhance her magic and allow her to pretend she can hang with the cool kids. she's bisexual. she has 2 dads and they got a hashtag #gay divorce. her major conflict is against a literal actual animal who hates her dads but would prefer to destroy their reputation than just murder them so she tries to frame them for ignatia's murder. she eventually learns to hate ignatia on a personal level. ignatia is a 10/10 blorbo because depending on which point in the narrative i met her i would either ask for her hand in marriage or kill both of us immediately
blorbo #4 is quintilian holmes. a florist. a domestic terrorist. flower demon. he has a disability that's complex to explain but has the most obvious effect of weakening his magic significantly. his magic specialty is literally just blasting things into a fine dust. occasionally by accident (oopsie!). he witnessed the horrors. he's like if sasuke had pink hair. he's bi and he pines for a gay dude but that gay dude is gay for a different bi dude (quin still thinks he has a chance). also he is a domestic terrorist, as i said. blows things up with his girlfriend of three days who is also later the antagonist he goes up against. the moral debate to be had between them is surprisingly complex considering the broad ideas of their feud is quin saying "maybe we shouldn't kill people" and her saying "ok but consider: killing people." quin is a 7/10 blorbo he should've killed people
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outerbankslut · 4 years
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Sorry... Pope Heyward
Summary • After a fight between the Kooks and the Pogues you go to your friends to apologise but Pope’s not having it.
Warnings • Swearing? Maybe but I can’t remember and I cba to go back through. Mentions of violence (in the fight). If there’s anything else let me know :) JJ smoking as usual.
Word Count • 1.7k (Imagine)
Masterlist
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(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)
    THE NOISES OF the cars engine knocked you out of your daze as you drove down the paved, sweltering streets of outer banks. The houses you passed a second ago were filled with perfectly trimmed bushes, the building decked in marble and stone with backyards for miles and a pool to finish it off. Whereas the houses you passed now were smaller and wooden, looking fragile almost. Lots of the yards were messier and lazier but they didn't have personal gardeners or the time nor money to do it themselves generally. It made your heart clench as you thought about how just a mile back you were living luxuriously while people over here slaved away to earn everything they owned. They weren't handed it like you were.
You were on your way to the cut to see your friends. But not for a casual hangout. You needed to see if they were okay. After the events of the night before you couldn't be sure what happened after you left.
Rafe has been involved in a fight between all the Pogues including you. No surprise there. He’d been the instigator of it all. It had broken out just you were all planning to leave and then the Cameron boy and the rest of his country club friends came over and joined in somehow finding fun in hitting and punching people due to the entitlement blinding their eyes from the truth that they were the same. Well maybe not personality wise in any way at all. But you were all human beings and yet you were pitted against each other from the day you were born. Only some succumbed to the amounting pressure of their kook or pogue parents to stay away from the other side others realised how petty and stupid it was.
It was always like a scene from west side story when the two groups were mixed and it never ended well. It usually left you to pick up the pieces of their messes. Or any mess of your brothers really. It had always been you. You taking responsibility for anything he did. Whilst he would go disappear and sniff a few lines before making his triumphant return you would be mending what he broke or taking the blame. Being younger than him didn't help with him manipulating you as a child. Rafe broke a vase and suddenly you broke the vase. Rafe stole money from dad since he blew his allowance on coke and alcohol and instead you stole the money. It had always been that way and by now you were used to being left in the wake of your brothers tyranny.
You always felt responsible no matter what happened. The events of last night where stuck in your mind like super glue and the guilt was filling up your lungs. It wasn't your fault. But at the same time it was. You didn't stop your brother, you let your friends get hurt by him. And they must hate you. Probably wish you'd never been let into their group.
The tires of your car screeched to a halt beside the Twinkie which occupied the space outside of the chateau. It was eerily quiet until you stepped out onto the grassy and muddy ground and heard muffled laughter from inside the wooden walls of the small fish shack. You could smell the after effects of a joint wafting through the air. No doubt it was JJ.
Once you entered the chateau the small creak of the screen door was enough to gain the attention of all the Pogues who glanced up at your presence. Only then did you see what was leftover from the fight last night. Kie looked at you with a small smile but you could see the light grazing on her cheeks and her hands that held the wooden neck of a ukulele. But yet she still seemed happy to see you. And then JJ who sent you a lazy smile as he inhaled more of the joint between his bruised knuckled fingers and the smoke covered his purple and yellow and green painted face but only for a second. Then John B who held a beer in his hands but you could see the blood surrounding his split lip and small cut above his black eye.
None noticed your small frown or look of quilt swarming you except from Pope who stared intensely and lingered on the downturning of your lips as you turned and caught his gaze. You could see the small cut beneath his chin and no doubt just like the John B and JJ he accumulated bruises on his stomach or arms. But he was wearing his shirt buttoned up whereas JJ laid shirtless and John B stood with his shirt open.
It hurt you the most seeing Pope. The multiple bruises and cuts adorning his normally smooth and unharmed skin. They were because of you. When Pope moved in front of you stopping you from receiving the backhand Rafe sent your way as you berated him to stop. He was the reason you weren't hurt. And you were the reason he was hurt.
Pope looked at you oddly as you just stood there letting out a sigh.
"Y/N?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in question. When you didn't answer again he stood up and walked over to you where you stood with your hands threaded together and rubbing in anticipation. "What's wrong?"
"I-I wanted to apologise to you last night."
The rest of the Pogues had turned their attention to you, JJ even stopped smoking for a second to listen. Your eyes were down trained on the wooden flooring as you spoke. Popes furrowed brows deepened as he looked at you slightly bewildered that you thought you needed to apologise.
"I'm sorry he hurt you guys. It was all my fault and I should have stopped him but I didn't." You let out a dry chuckle. "All of you got hurt and yet I'm perfectly fine." You shook you head and sighed. "But I'm really sorry."
Despite the nice welcoming from your friends you still had the deep rooted fear they would hate you after last night but the looks on their faces held sadness or confusion rather than anger or disdain.
Pope had seen you do this before with the group. Whether it be a Pogue and Kook fight or just a small thing when he'd been around your house, like accepting responsibility when Rafe forgot to pick Wheezie up from her ballet class or the time when you'd apologised profusely for Rafes mistreatment of JJ at his job at the country club. But most of those times he'd believed it to be a small courtesy of just being related to the problem or saying it like when you say you're sorry for someone's loss but it wasn’t like that with you. At least not this time.
You were apprehensive to look up to meet his but when you did you saw the boy let out a small scoff and you were ready for him to yell at you to leave and never come back.
"God! Stop apologising for other people! You're not the shitty one!" The Heyward boy exclaimed blowing a fuse which surprised everyone when Pope was normally the calm and collected one. Not all the time. But most.
And he wasn’t angry towards you but toward Rafe and even the smallest notion that what he did laid on your shoulders. You simply blinked in his direction not sure what to say at his outburst.
"Pope—" You started saying before you were cut off by the boy throwing his hands in the air.
"No I can't take it any longer. I can't watch you blame yourself and apologise for the punches Rafe throws or the shitty things he does. He's a bad person and you are not him. I don't give a damn if he's your brother, okay? Y/N you've never done anything wrong in your life and yet you keep apologising for everything he does. It's not your fault. I'll tell you a million—scratch that a billion times if I have to."
And once again you blinked but this time blinking away the glossy liquid in your eyes hoping to clear your vision. It was a different feeling having someone tell you it wasn't your fault for once. Popes eyes stared passionately towards you as you held his stare. You felt comforted just the the deep ebony colours of his eyes that focused on you.
"I still left you guys though after. I didn't stay and help." You told them and Kiara stood quickly, abandoning the instrument on the couch and placing a hand on your arm. You felt yourself sniffling. Pope moved his hand as well but lightly placed it in your own moving his fingers over your palm in circles soothingly. Letting you know he was there. Pope and you had definitely always been the closest in the group. If you ever needed someone Pope was always there. Whether it was someone to cry on or rant to, he was always there. And he definitely cared a lot about you as you did him.
"Hey, Y/N. You still tried to help us. That’s what counts. And we get it was overwhelming. We don't have to deal with psycho brothers. No offence." Kie spoke softly and you chuckled lightly at her comment through small tears that you were quick to wipe away.
"Yeah, Rafe is his own person and technically an adult he can take responsibility for his own shit." JJ spoke as he stood from his space on the couch joined by John B behind him.
"I still don't understand how the two of you are even related."
You shrugged a small smile growing on your lips that Pope noticed. "Me and Sarah both wonder that. A lot."
They all let out small laughs before Pope pulled you in for a hug and you nestled your head into his shoulder at his warm and enticing hold. He smelt of musk with small hints of aftershave and salt water. But most of all he smelt of home. Somewhere that would always be inviting and your one true solace from the world.
Note • Got my writing mojo back, kinda. And I used a prompt for this which helped a lot as well maybe too much. But uh so funny story I said it could make a cute blurb and one thing leads to another and I’ve written 1.7k words oopsies. I rambled too much and it’s trash and it’s also 2am so forgive me. But I need help I write too much unnecessary details in my fics and it makes it so long and probably boring. Anyway it’s✨trash✨but I hope maybe you enjoyed.
Join My Tag List Here • @starlightstarkey @rafecameron @starksweasleymain @jjsredhat @scandalousfemale @sguymon21 @bricksatanakinswindow @futuretaxcheat @wannabeslut @ad-infinitums @outrebanx @pit-zuh @pankowrudeth @jiaraendgame @outerbanksbro @copper-boom @alternativehp @brie-gr3y
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strawberry-headache · 7 years
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What am I in love with?
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