#anyway Fjord and Jester have a good relationship in which they are never forcing the other to do anything

[captainofthetidesbreath]

i love it is kinda ambiguous what Fjord and Jester do with their time year-round, especially Fjord, and how their time is divided bc Jester's studio is said to be inspired by Veth's camp, iirc, so like how much of the year does that take up when the camp is a couple of months. And it is unclear what Fjord is doing day-to-day.

I've been saying since the campaign ended but especially since the start of the two-shot, fully like guys, @ especially Fjord, rotate your months: handful of weeks in port, handful of weeks sailing.

excited to work with this as a thought in the future

#CR spoilers #Critical Role things #CR #To get salty here in the tags for a bit #It's always funny shippers of competing ships always get really upset and claim 'Fjord forced Jester to live a certain way with the ship' #when it's like.... well it's been clear Jester lives as she wants and Fjord can't make her do anything #And tbh it's funny bc you'll never hear any 'Jester forced Fjord to live a certain way with the studio' because neither thing is true at al #neither of them are forcing the other to do anything at all but it's always interesting it's never in reverse #even though the thoroughly flawed logic equally applies in both directions. it's revelatory the inconsistency. #anyway Fjord and Jester have a good relationship in which they are never forcing the other to do anything #they in fact do have compatible lifestyles—it just takes a bit of balancing work to figure out a rhythm #and they're clearly both happy

[utilitycaster]

Regarding your tags: do you mind elaborating on the Rumblecusp thing? I caught up to streams during the Aeor arc and didn't really see fandom stuff earlier, so I'm a bit curious what you meant by that? Thanks in advance!

(in reference to this post)

Not at all! Basically, during the Rumblecusp arc, there was a lot of back and forth of who was Ackshually Supportive of Jester And Her Choices, and, with the admission that I myself am not a neutral person in these discussions, they all conveniently aligned with the decisions of the character they most shipped with Jester:

Caleb generally let her do whatever and stayed out of it, which was interpreted by people who shipped him and Jester as him supporting her (because he lets her do whatever), but leaves out the context of Caleb's whole canonical deal of feeling he cannot judge other people or tell them what to do in their own personal matters because he feels he has no moral position to do so; ie, this is not explicit support of Jester but rather how Caleb interacts with basically anything in which he is not directly involved. Do note also: Caleb tries but fails to have Cat's Claw grab Jester when she holds on to Artagan; there is, clearly, a point where he will oppose her choices.

Beau was pretty against Artagan the entire time. Honestly I think Beau punching him was very funny and she did, to her credit, ask permission first, but anyway, this was interpreted as Beau protecting Jester from The Traveler's malice. And, to be clear, he did bring them to Memory Loss Island on purpose, and while he promised Jester he'd have helped her, it's fair to have concerns about that. But Beau - understandably, since she frankly doesn't have good relationships that date back to early childhood the way Jester does - never quite seems to grasp how important Artagan is to her, and that you can be frustrated with him (hell, Jester is) and worried about Jester while still acknowledging that cutting off Artagan entirely will never be on the table. (Given Beau's mechanics, she is unable really to interfere with Jester being pulled up into the sky so I can't judge her on that).

Fjord ends up in the middle. Jester specifically seeks out his opinion, and he essentially says "look, we will support you as long as you're not being forced to change yourself to suit Artagan." He and Beau also agree to intervene with the Traveler as needed. When Jester is being taken, he goes up there with her and tells her to please let go and that the party will catch her. Eventually, Artagan takes the choice away and kicks Jester (and Fjord) off.

Now for what it's worth, I do think talking through these three approaches is interesting! All three characters are, canonically, people who care about Jester and harbor romantic feelings, and all three are approaching this in real and interesting ways consistent with their characterization. The reason why the discussion was eyerollingly stupid to me is not that it existed; it was that first, it really only centered around those three and either ignored or excused non-romantic faves (Caduceus is very suspicious of Artagan and the judgiest man to ever exist (affectionate), but people arguing in favor of Caleb's laissez-faire attitude who liked Caduceus often gave Cad's judgment a pass while calling Fjord and Beau awful. They also largely ignored Yasha and Veth, who both had imo approaches not dissimilar to Fjord's, though more subtly borne out in that they did not explicitly talk to her about it.)

Second, and more obviously, it was all "what does Jester want" until she decided she wanted to kiss someone they didn't want her to, and then suddenly she's a dumb bitch and her choices are bad, so, you know, was it ever about respecting her choices, or was it a constantly shifting goalpost of what supports the ship. (sidebar: if the goalpost is constantly shifting for your ship? does not bode well for the ship, typically.)

Anyway the two points I'm getting at here are:

I think you can love someone unconditionally in that you care about them as a person regardless of what they do, but that doesn't mean you can't judge them or encourage them to make different choices. It's like a twist on the old saying: if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow them? Except it's "if your friend was going to jump off a bridge, and it was their choice, would you stop them?" or "If your friend were going to push a ton of innocent people off a bridge, would you stop them?" There is a difference between "I want you to have agency in your life and be happy" and "I'd rather let you destroy yourself or others than push back even a little on your choices". There's something selfish, in being so scared to lose someone before the fact that you risk losing them far more permanently; and something deeper and more selfless in saying "I love you so much that I'd rather you hate me and live, than that you die or commit atrocities." Like, you should be there for them, but you don't need to validate things you believe are harmful just to support them.

The core principle of literary analysis is basically "any interpretation is valid provided it is evidenced by the text." You can watch through the lenses of shipping goggles and enjoy yourself; but often those are not supported by the text. And that's fine! I know I tend to sound condescending towards this and I will admit it's because I see absolutely no appeal in it, but if you want blorbo 1 and blorbo 2 to kiss and want to watch a show that seems to be driving to that end point regardless of canon, then that is your right and I am not going to stop you. However, no one else is under any obligation to find validity, let alone agree with that interpretation. Indeed, just as it's valid for you to watch with shipping goggles, it's valid for other people to vocally disagree (provided they're not harassing you and are doing so in a place you can choose to block out), particularly if it outright conflicts with canon or is hypocritical in the context of your other interpretations.

#answered #dhwty-writes #cr tag #critical role spoilers

[captainjonnitkessler]

"#essek's other relationships ESPECIALLY with Jester and Beau are just as important i think" PLEASE elaborate on this tag! I haven't seen anyone talk about Essek's relationships with anyone else in the Nein besides Caleb, and people don't talk enough about Beau's, Veth's, or Caduceus' relationships in general. ~aeoranexpat

I would LOVE to elaborate thank you!

It's really disappointing to me when people act like Essek's only major relationship is that with Caleb. For sure, they're great narrative foils and they understand each other in a way few others can. But it took a long time and it wouldn’t have happened at all without the others. Essek's redemption came about because of his relationships with ALL of the M9. (Under a readmore because it got kinda long!)

Essek and Jester's relationship is probably my favorite. This post already covers why Jester was the driving force of his redemption - she's the one who was constantly making overtures and friendly gestures and the rest of the M9 followed her lead on that.

I love this relationship because I think Jester was probably the person Essek disliked the most in the beginning. She’s loud, flamboyant, boisterous, overly familiar - the complete opposite of the stoic, dignified Shadowhand of the Dynasty. But no matter how many times he rejected or disappointed her, she kept reaching out because Jester’s love and friendship is unconditional!! Even when they found out he was the traitor, she never hesitated in calling him a friend! Can you! imagine! the feeling of being offered unconditional love and friendship for the very first time in your life! Of being offered almost immediate forgiveness for an unforgivable crime! I love Jester Lavorre and so does Essek!

I think Beau’s relationship with him is also very important. It is, of course, absolutely hilarious that Essek, Secret Traitor With Many Life-Threatening Secrets, got put in charge of liaising with an Expositor of the Cobalt Soul, Person In Charge Of Finding Secrets. This is another great narrative foil that I feel gets overlooked a lot. Can you even imagine how stressed out Essek must’ve been? Getting found out was probably a relief by the time it happened jfc.

Beau was initially welcoming, if wary, but she was also wildly awkward about it which hey! So was Essek! Watch these two socially inept nerds try to make friends! And then his betrayal was uncovered, and she immediately went hard against him. Which, fair! I appreciate that Essek always made it clear that he knew he wasn’t entitled to forgiveness or trust, because he wasn’t. And I love that Beau also made it very clear that she knew that. But he got it anyway, and honestly -

Jester forgave him easily because that’s who she is. Caleb forgave him because he saw himself in Essek. But Beau? Beau’s whole fucking deal is rooting out corruption and evil. It took longer, because he really had to prove himself. But I have to imagine gaining her forgiveness felt the best. Because if Expositor Beauregard Lionett says you’re a good person? You know she’s not bullshitting you or doing it for personal reasons. It’s because she truly believes it, and it’s literally her job to make that call.

Those are the two I find most interesting, although everyone else has their own relationship with him. Veth in particular was the one he most actively harmed by kidnapping and torturing her husband and almost orphaning her child, which was kinda glossed over a lot tbh! But he also helped develop and cast the spell that got her body back, and now he’s dating her best friend - their relationship is FRAUGHT.

Yasha and Essek both know what it’s like to be Xhorhasian in the Empire and to be socially awkward about it. Caduceus has such a drastically different view on life in general, and I think there’s a lot of potential there in their friendship and how it affected Essek’s view on things. And Fjord, the “leader” who considered himself responsible for the group’s safety, was willing to trust Essek with that safety both initially in Xhorhas and again in Aeor.

So yeah, when people portray it as “Essek’s relationship with Caleb (and-also-the-M9-in-the-background)” I think it’s doing a massive disservice to both Essek and the M9! Essek’s individual relationships with everyone in the M9 are complicated and important, and his platonic relationships are every bit as important as his romantic one!

#thank you SO MUCH for letting me expound on this i have a lot of Opinions #also i literally always want to talk about jester lavorre and her platonic relationships. #which are also often glossed over in favor of romantic pairings tbh! #critical role #critical role spoilers #kind of #instantgentlemenvoid

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E121 (Jan. 19, 2021)

Aaaand we're back! The epic pet montage at the start is still the greatest thing ever.

Tonight's guests? Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray!

We begin with an extensive discussion of waffle farts. As you do.

Matt is asked what it's been like to get to build out the characters in the Tombtakers. Lucien is Matt's favorite, but they've all got some fun traits to them. "It's one of those rare experiences as a dungeon master where you get to watch your players combat with the necessity of playing along. The instinct is: fuck these guys, I want to fight them, we'll take their shit... or I guess we have to play nice. And they begrudgingly grit their teeth and I smile internally."

On the Lucien accent: "You guys are all so mean to Taliesin!" Matt knew his own take would be a "weird mutation" of Mollymauk's accent anyway.

How's Marisha feeling about a lot of her predictions panning out? "Aw, I mean, gee, me? What? Noooo. It's definitely vindicating, I'm not gonna lie, and rewarding, but I also know that I write a lot of shit down in that notebook that's never relevant ever again. It's definitely a good feeling to know that I didn't go on that fifteen-minute deep dive and was utterly wrong about everything I said." Matt: "I was super proud. I was just silently cheering you on as you went on these long tangents."

What does Lucien think of the Mighty Nein? "Lucien is definitely curious about why they're getting involved in his shit and what they're planning alongside them. One, he hates Beau because he doesn't like people who challenge his authority. He gravitates towards Jester to an extent because she's the most open, which from his standpoint makes her easiest to manipulate. He loves toying with curiosity, and so between Jester and Caleb, those are the two people that he's the most comfortable interacting with. Caduceus makes him feel a little weird. He's amused by them. Fjord to Lucien is one of the more guarded and less accessible at the moment."

Is Beau enjoying getting under Lucien's skin? "Beau's picking and poking still kind of stems from her defensiveness and guardedness and her feelings, in a lot of ways, and the way that she's coping with things. It's a few steps removed from her default and what she often resorts to when she starts throwing up those barriers. She still has in the back of her head that she's looking at her dead friend. It's her way of protecting herself if she can go, fuck you, I don't care about you. This isn't too dissimilar to the way she reacted when Yasha was brainwashed." Matt: "It's a unique social sparring match the whole time they're traveling side-by-side. It's unique to have an antagonistic force that you're--" Marisha: "That we're going camping with."

Navigating the Tombtaker/M9 relationship as a DM is "challenging. At any given moment, a wrong statement could escalate matters one way or the other. It's having to pay attention to a lot of things at all points in time to be ready for how those chain reactions can happen and where it might go." He likens it to trying to follow and participate in two different conversations simultaneously at a party.

On the note from Yasha: "Oh man, you guys. Oh, it was so sweet. I don't think Beau was expecting Yasha to be so forthcoming with everything, and so complimentary and eloquent. Beau is awkward with healthy relationships, so she doesn't know how to handle them. She's still processing that and wants to not ruin it. No, it was magical." Ashley told Marisha after the episode that she was trying to think of what to say and wound up basing it on what she would say about Marisha.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Vax (by stormfeather_cosplay, photograph by travi_b, both on Instagram)!

On using variations on the Wild Magic table: "I wanted to give it some variation to consequences. They took some of the tooth out of it from earlier editions. I knew it would be fun once I gave them the specifications of when these things would happen - players are just waiting for someone to roll a 20 or a 1 at all times."

Why is it so important to Beau that she and Yasha have a proper date? Part of it is a fresh start. "So much of Beau's past relationships have been rooted in some toxic behavior. Beau feels like, well, maybe we should just start from the beginning in the most us way possible: fighting through the tundra with our dead-ish friend."

The sci-fi-ish theme came toward the end of developing Aeor, but it mostly comes from rationalization. Matt is intrigued by how all these different societies want to usurp the gods... which has parallels with modern society. He notes that focusing more on the science of the magic means the aesthetics pull away to "instead facilitate the utility or the most direct route to the answers you want. You streamline as opposed to focusing on the aesthetics."

Beau’s reaction to all the weird magic stuff? “I think Beau’s just so focused on the pragmatic aspects of it all right now. There are greedy people with motives and the will and want to corrupt across all spans of cultures and times. She’s trying not to get lost in the magic, both proverbially and literally, of it all, and just trying to focus on the motives of these people at hand.”

In some ways, Matt was surprised by Caduceus’ strong reaction to the creepy woods. “It was the first major reveal that there are some other sides to the coin that he hadn’t learned about. I had no idea how he would react. It pushed him away more in ways than I expected.”

Fan art of the week: an amazing Lucien! (by oratorkayla on Twitter)

What’s Dagen’s motivation? “He’s definitely a man of his word when it comes to fulfilling a contract and getting the other half of his pay, but it’s not hard to see they’ve grown on him a little bit. He’s really good at getting around the tundra unseen and unnoticed.”

Brian: “In true Sam fashion-” Marisha, instantly: “OH MY GOD.”

Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Here’s the tea, okay? If I ever hear one more fucking person trying to claim that I’m ruining things by metagaming, I’m going to point to Sam. I’m expected to respond accordingly to Veth being a Sam troll. Gods damn him! Raven Queen curse upon him! Let chaos reign! He made me pull out my earphones, I can’t hear anything you’re saying. It’s frustrating because I’d be mad at it if it wasn’t so god damn funny.” Matt notes that at a different table this wouldn’t be great behavior, but they all know each other well enough (and check in with each other enough) that it’s comfortable teasing.

With a bit of a deeper pull, Matt is asked whether he knew Avantika would return someday? “I knew she was a fun, interesting option out there. The M9 still have in their grasp the single most important artifact, in Uk’otoa’s opinion, at the moment. As long as they carry that artifact, his eye of Sauron is upon them.” Matt notes that he has more encounter tables going, so a lot of the time even he’s not sure what’s going to happen.

Caduceus suggested contacting Essek, but Beau and Caleb nixed that idea. Does Beau trust him? “Gods no. Absolutely not. She can like Essek personally. As a person, he’s fine, I guess. But I think a lot of people might be forgetting that he’s kind of a war criminal and kind of set off a lot of bad things in motion with this war with the Empire and the Dynasty, because he wanted power and to know things. So now here he is, also in Aeor. Yeah. Just kinda putting two and two together there. It is another one of those things of, you’re walking that line on trying to keep him on your good side and having a mutually beneficial relationship before it could easily go completely south.”

On the Star Razor being a Vestige: “I don’t want this to be--- the Vestiges aren’t always a thing where it’s like, you get a Vestige and you get a Vestige! I want them to be still considered special and rare. This is one that had to be earned, it had to be reforged. I didn’t know the circumstances that would involve it coming about.” He based it on the circumstances of Fjord’s evolution into a paladin. “In essence, not only did he finish the creation of the sword, but he Awakened it at the same time as he made this transition. It is Exalted at this point, it’s in its final form.”

What does Beau think might lie ahead? “I have no idea. I am trying to abandon expectation when it comes to that. I know what we don’t know, and that’s it. Beau is trying to compensate for the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns. I hope we can keep this tenuous relationship through to Aeor, because we need more answers before it explodes in our face. Beau, and Marisha, is hoping for a little more information before shit hits the fan.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[fiovske]

This whole situation honestly makes me feel so disrespected and powerless. I really want to believe that if the cast were asked directly about B/J by enough people, they would say the truth - which is that they decided over the hiatus that the campaign would be ending soon, and so they made a bunch of decisions behind the scenes in order to get certain characters to a half-decent end point, and that one of those decisions was retconning Beaus feelings for Jester. Because that IS what happened, you honestly have to be so naïve not to be able to see it, but I just know that if they were asked about it, the BeauJester tag would just get raided by angry BY shippers with Ellie icons calling us all mentally-ill (again).

yeah.. yeah. personally, i dont think we should ask bc we arent gonna get an answer that isnt just handwaved as "a phase" or addressed w a tone of outright dismissiveness. i dont think they'd be transparent abt this anyway bc its a PR image decision. it'll expose that their "we only improvise in game!" thing is just not really so much true tbh lmao bc the decided pairings were done in the hiatus period and it influenced a LOT of storymaking decisions that were NOT organic at all and a whole lot of people felt being force-fed something they didnt like. those playlists really should've been our clues bc they released those AFTER taking that decision.

like. i'd really rather they'd had decided from the start of the campaign what pairings they were gonna take and worked on improving those relationships slowly and steadily, even if those pairings WERE fj/j and b/y. but they didn't.

 instead we had beaujes, which grew so slowly and organically and was heartfelt in developing a foundation of a solid friendship and compatibility above all else, they were the first two to say "I love you" to each other IN GAME and had a confession of feelings and had those feelings have the building blocks of reciprocation ("does anyone have a crush on me?" the way jester panics over beau being turned to stone vs the way jester reacts to fjord rolling his second failed death save: "get up man :/" 

PLUS the time when veth was calling beau abbrasive and rude and all kinda of bad things Jes was vocally disagreeing and Beau said “thanks u jess” and blew her a kiss and Jester giggled and blushed all big smiles and flushed face it was so. GOOD. the time beau bought a flower crown for jester at Zadash and Jester got so happy she couldnt contain her smile, “for mE??”. PLUS when Beau wore that red dress at the beach “for Jester (affectionate)” and Jester wore a purple dress bc “beau doesnt like yellow so I’m gonna wear the purple one!” its just the simple way they do things to make the other person happy, and are happy with it themselves.

PLUS like extremely soon following beau's confession, jes meta-narratively taunts beau, "i think you have been avoiding me...and i know why" Jester being clearly VERY upset at the prospect of beau almost dying and jester confused, at the cusp of figuring out what those extremely strong feelings for beau were: "I'm sorry for... not healing you. i.. you could've died and i..." letting it trail off the IMPLICATIONS.. (this girl doesnt like to heal anybody much less apologize for NOT healing someone lol) and beau's departure followed closely by jester spending time w fjord helping him work out "as beau does" like... her interest in him was comparative on the axis of beau. and her coming away from that interaction w fjord w a face of clear dissatisfaction bc it was clearly subpar from what she had expected it to be. it was, an extrapolation some would even say to how despite being on the heads of an argument beau and jester seemed to be able to communicate with each other very clearly, and in case of fjord, jester had to end up placating his ego, which has been what she has always done. not to mention the time in the fight ring she bet ten extra gold on beau and beau alone. despite fjord and yasha ALSO participating and she didnt beat anything extra on them lmao she was even GONE during fjord's bout which is. hilarious to me.

and then later once they reach the place where cad's family had been turned to stone, the panic on jester the sheer concern when beau was petrified vs the "uh.. get up man" at fjord when fjord was there rolling death saves. lmao. and not to forget the ultimate, "you're chaotic and.. I love you?" jes wanting to hear it back, the way the both of them support each other at their lowests, when jes meets her dad who doesnt accept her (beau hugs her and holds her and comforts her "found family is better anyway its his loss for not knowing you.") vs when beau meets her dad and he is as shit as ever ("i pull beau aside and i ask, "do u want us to stay?"and the way beau's voice breaks at "..please.") and never forget "heh, you get purple a lil purple when you're sunburnt... its cute!" and the megawatt smile jes gave beau for that was... e99!!! beaujes WAS on the cusp of happening it WOULD have happened bc the road was paved all the way thru!)

only to go into a months long hiatus and change tracks completely. literally a whole systems shock as they switched gears w no warning or no indication that their approach to the game would be different post-hiatus. they thought no one would notice.... but, ironically enough, the dissonance was felt throughout.

#beaujester #sorry i went off on a tangent and my brain went beaujes central #and god dont even talk to me abt those t/lo/u transfers el/lie icons #those are a whole lot of folks who came just to see a*hley who didnt even develop her arc or her goal so thats another story entirely #im not gonna marr my beaujes post w this #beaujes was right there all along. you were not delusional to see it #and I certainly was not either. none of us were. #the complete 180 that the cast pulled? thats 1000% on them. #me.txt

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 141

 1. Blooming Grove Clay family reunion! Hugs and tears! Home-cooked meal and tea! Much needed relaxation and downtime after saving the world.

Ay that was a nice meal and a good night’s sleep.

2. Widogast’s Nascent Nein (9!) Sided Tower because Caleb still has a spell slot for that! So many cats and books. Also, rooms for Essek and Molly (9!). Bonus: seeing more rooms on the 8th floor of the tower?

Oof well thanks Trent now we don’t get to see the tower again, ever. I’m 100% sure that Essek will see his room during the Aeorian study fun times and Luc and Yeza will see their rooms in magical summer camp with professor Widogast though, so I’m happy.

3. Check in and visiting Allura to return her staff and Kima’s Holy Avenger (”hey we saved the world killed Lucien stopped the city Allura are you proud of us? You are? Tell us who is on the Tal’Dorei council.”)

They mentioned it, but they didn’t play it out, unfortunately. Alas, the members of the Tal’Dorei council shall forever remain a mystery.

4. Check in and visiting Yussa and Wensforth to apologize for their last visit to the Tidepeak Tower and using his emergency exit plan, but Yussa being too grateful to be saved from a screaming city hivemind to care.

Yep, thank you Caleb for remembering Yussa lol. Should have known that he would want to study the Happy Fun Ball... Wizards sharing knowledge, how nice! Also, Veth’s goodbye to Wensforth was very sweet.

5. Molly getting more and more of his memory back and slowly becoming his old flamboyant self.

I... wow I mean I guess Kingsley? This technically happened? He is going to become someone new, which is always exciting! He got a lot of... interesting memories back too. He is also interested in learning about Molly’s memory too, even though he is somebody else (and just as flamboyant).

6. Caleb says goodbye to Frumpkin and there is either a sweet farewell or Frumpkin just goes “nah fam I choose my wizard you can’t get rid of me”.

Aw Frumpkin didn’t feel ready to leave at first... :( The actual farewell was indeed short and sweet, I loved it. 

7. Beau and Yasha moments, conversations, fun times, shameless PDA, or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

Camping outside at night, aw. Their moment after the Zeenoth trial was very touching as well! “Yes, my love?” and “my Expositor” lol how romantic they are. They are planning to settle down and explore Yasha’s past together! Their honeymoon little trip! Also, “I will have you and then some” was indeed hot.

8. Jester and Fjord being domestic, adorable and sharing kisses/conversations or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

The sleep snuggle was soo cute and Jester’s love admission was adorable! Also the rain and double confession wow Fjord what a romantic man. Their conversation in Nicodranas was sooo cute guys. They planned boat trips!

9. Caleb and Essek have a long one-on-one conversation about their “it’s complicated” relationship and have some more physical contact (still reeling from the forehead touch last episode).

Caleb attempting to include Essek in the globe of invulnerability and Essek dragging Caleb away from melee combat aw. The kiss on the cheek and the empathetic hug... I will take the time travel conversation as well. 

10. Veth, Yeza and Luc’s joyful/tearful family reunion and happy fun times in which Veth and Yeza may or may not celebrate in private.

Aw that was a nice reunion, so very cute. Veth gets to fully return home to her family after saying goodbye! I’m going to assume that she celebrates her return with Yeza in private. 

11. Cad’s moments with his family and also with Molly (because it’s fun to watch them on screen together and conversing let’s be real).

Caduceus gets to be with his family now, enjoying life at the blooming grove! He deserves the relaxation!

12. Jester’s reunion with her mother with big hugs and finding out that parent trap TM has succeeded thanks to her genius plans. Also, the gentleman being a super awkward but loving dad.

Yes I knew it would work! The gentleman is a nervous drinker confirmed lol. The mother-daughter talk was very nice and a great reminder!

13. The Mighty Nein plans for the future: getting rid of Cloven Crystal, Fjord visiting Vandran (with Jester probably, who discusses Tusk Love with him) and maybe Sabian? Yasha’s plan to bring flower to Zuala (trip with Beau?). Beau’s plans regarding Zeenoth’s trial (has that happend yet? Does she want to go?) and Caleb’s plans for the assembly (or even further ahead, magical school? Aeorian research with Kryn Colleague? How pissed is Ludinus Da’leth?)

Well, the empire siblings sure started a task force against the assembly huh. Also yeah Caleb you tell him, F**k your vacancy Martinet Ludinus Da’leth! Professor Caleb will teach Luc. Astrid would be more interested in the position anyways. Fjord got to visit Vandran with Jester and got him to join their sailing adventures! Jester also talks about Tusk Love with him wow. Beau testified against Zeenoth with Yasha by her side! Yasha gave flowers to Zuala on a trip with Beau! Caleb and Essek got to do their Aeorian research study! Fjord’s cloven crystal adventure was also addressed! I’m so good at predictions you guys I KID YOU NOT I predicted everything.

14. Getting an update about Astrid and Eadwulf to find out that they are in fact doing fine because Trent is in deep trouble and under heavy investigation by the Augen Trust and Cobalt Soul (bonus: Trent is already starting to get what he deserves. Or even better, Trent has died from liver failure in jail. Like his jaundice really kept getting worse so one can hope I guess?)

F**k you Trent, you just had to show up and ruin everything didn’t you. Well, Astrid and Eadwulf are fne now, and Trent IS in deep trouble and rotting in jail. Still hoping that he will die from liver failure after like, a few years.

15. Fjord officially “meeting the parents” and Gentleman/Marion giving Fjord the shovel talk because that didn’t happen last time.

Aw he didn’t go with! But the gentleman did talk about Fjord anyways lol and gave her some sound advice.

16. Wedding mentions/discussions? Proposals? Anyone? No?

Well Jester proposed to marry... her parents? Lol did not see that one coming. Veth and Yeza renewing vows yes! It was a nice suggestion. 

17. Artagan/sprinkle joins in the celebration because why not (bonus: Sprinkle gets to be free! Or whatever an undead weasel could be lmao)

Artagan and Jester’s conversation was very nice development for them. Sprinkle gets to stay forever, unfortunately for Sprinkle lol.

18. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (like I know we will never see dark star probably but I live for spell casting flavours).

Essek’s hold person on Trent was clutch, “stay down”, what a king. The tether essence, lightning bolt and gravity sinkhole were all wonderful. Still sad about the dark star never being seen though.

19. Obligatory wish for the polymorph spell (look, I just love it okay).

Hey, Jester threatened Astrid with it! Polymorph mention wins! Fjord was sad about the potential choice of turning her into a turtle but it would have been funny.

20. Obligatory wish for Caleb to use more fire/customized/dunamantic spells creatively or with nice flair (what’s sexier than wizards NOTHING).

What’s sexier than counterspells and dispel magic NOTHING. Also hey, the manacles of stasis worked!

21. Discussion about Essek’s future because oh boy can he even go back to the Dynasty? Have they found him out yet? If they did, how mad is the Bright Queen? Are Volstruckers too busy to chase him down? We need to know!

Oh man I mean Essek found a way to live freely at least! With a lot of illusions and identities, of course. He also got to stay in contact with the M9! I think he may show up in campaign 3!

22. Group hug! Group feast! Group cheer! I dunno, just do group stuff. They are the Mighty Nein, they are the Mighty Nine, they saved the world!

A lot of group hugs and feasts! I especially loved the hug when they said goodbye to Essek. 

23. Visiting/checking in with other NPCs or allies potentially! Like Kiri, Calianna, Twiggy, Keg, Shakasta, Bryce, Dagen oh also the Hag (I’m kidding).

They checked in with Orly! Not these allies but you know, Orly is awesome. 

24. Obligatory wish for everyone (the Nein, their friends/families) to get a happy ending that gives me a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment, and that the episode/campaign ends with a poetically beautiful scene!

Yes, it was a very poetic and very beautiful story indeed

I love the Mighty Nein/Nine, I love the cast. I’m so grateful for their story in my life. Words are not enough to describe my thankfulness for being able to go on this journey with them.

Now excuse me I just need to go sob in a corner.

My score: 19/24

Seriously though check out #13 I’m proud of that one

Other Highlights: 

Caleb hit 100 HP OMG I too am proud of him.

Well I didn’t expect the boss fight but I’m glad we are getting one? 

Caleb’s produce flame was used by Veth on Fluffernutter, nice!

The Veth + Beau putting collar combo was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, also there is something poetic about Caleb relying entirely on his friends and Astrid to carry out the collar tactic on Trent.

The forced empathy commands by Cad lmao wow angry Cad is scary, too bad Trent didn’t have any.

Veth’s silent image... Caleb disintegrating and burning everything in the T-dock... Caleb’s book for his parents... Professor Widogast... Excuse me I’m going to cry now.

#cr spoilers #c2e141 #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr liveblog #manifest list #the mighty nein

[poesparakeet-fics]

AKA “Yasha The Protector” fic from the prompt poll!

Note: This is basically a SFW fic with a lil NSFW ending. The whole SFW bit is here, so enjoy, and click to AO3 for the sexy bit!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Poly Nein - Relationship, Beauregard Lionette/Caleb Widogast/Yasha, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Poly Nein Characters: Beauregard Lionett, Caleb Widogast, Yasha (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Tickling, Bedtime, gang tickle, Sub Caleb Widogast, Stress Relief, dope monk shit, Nipple Play, Cunnilingus, Polyamory, Group Sex, Threesome - F/F/M Series: Part 1 of The Poly Nein Summary:

Trent Ikithon has been brought back into the Mighty Nein’s orbit, and Yasha’s real mad about it. After Jester take Caleb to her bed to take care of his feelings, Yasha does the same to keep him safe. Beau… helps?

FICThe Empire and the Dynasty needed to figure their stuff out. They needed to take all their stuff, and just... lay it out on the table, measure it, and figure it out. That’s what Yasha thought, anyway. She supposed that these talks might be their way of doing it, but it sure was a bad way.  At the very least she wished the Mighty Nein could stop getting mixed up in it.

When Yasha first saw that Trent Ikithon had manipulated his way onto the king’s party, she’d been tempted to bamf out her wings and scream in his face, right then and there. He was old, she suspected she could maybe stop his heart that way. But she’d felt Beau go still next to her, hard and poised like a switch, and paused to match instead.

The last night before their departure they’d set up the mansion in a rented room far from the castle.

Fjord was sure Ikithon had done it to force Caleb to interact with him. Caleb agreed, in that quiet way he did when he was thinking very hard, his eyes cast down.

“We should kill him while we have the chance.” Veth said. She didn’t shriek it like she might have done a year ago, but says it matter-of-factly, in the calm, sweet voice that always meant she was talking to Caleb. They were all talking, but what she said was meant for Caleb.

“No.” He says. “Peace is worth the wait.”

Nobody was willing to argue with him on it, but she could tell Beau and Veth both wanted to. When they all bundled off to bed, Jester intercepted Caleb and pulled him into her and Fjord’s room. Caleb went along numbly, only smiling a little when she insisted that he wouldn’t have nightmares if he slept with them.

Yasha was tense all night, sleeping with Beau weaved around her rigid form like willow reeds.

The talks the next day were very boring. Lots of people she didn’t care about talked. Trent talked occasionally, but only when called upon. Otherwise he would just whisper behind his hand. Fjord talked. Caleb talked. Jester even talked a little, defusing a heated exchange with spun-sugar grace.

Yasha didn’t talk. She stood directly behind Caleb, though, staring down Trent and his molefuckers. Throughout the day she tried to convey three things to them with just her eyes:

She wanted to rip their limbs off.

She was fully capable of ripping their limbs off.

The only reason she was not ripping their limbs off was because Caleb asked her not to.

Beau, on the other hand, roved around the room like a shadow, but her head was always turned in Trent’s direction.

The others seemed happy with how the talks had gone. The fortress they were in had rooms for them, but they all agreed to set up the mansion in one of them as an extra layer of protection. Yasha trotted to catch up with Beau, one hand reaching out to brush her arm.

“Hmm. What? Sorry.”

“That’s OK.” Yasha soothed “It’s been a long day. Um… so... I want Caleb to come sleep with us tonight?”

Beau looked a little surprised. “Uh, sure, but why? I’m not as good at feelings as Jester or Fjord.”

Yasha patted her arm. “You’re getting better. But it’s not about feelings! I want to make sure if some vole-fucker wants to show up next to his bed they get a big raging surprise.” 

Beau snickered and Yasha beamed, pleased with the success of her joke.

“God, you’re so cute. Also, uh... very correct. I was worried about that too,” said Beau with a frown, "If they wanna try and take him out, we'll beat them right out of the pocket dimension."

They were all quiet and tired when they stepped into the mansion, Caleb most of all. Yasha wasn’t as persuasive or cajoling as Jester, so she settled for just grabbing Caleb out of the air as they floated up through the tower’s floors and carrying him to their room over her shoulder.

“Oof! Ah, Yasha…?”

“You’re not sleeping alone with him so near. You’re coming with us.”

“Oooh, good idea Yasha!” Jester’s voice carried down to them as she floated past. “Byyye Caleb!”

“Well, ja, alright then.” Caleb sounded too tired to argue.

“We’ll keep you safe.” Yasha assured him quietly as she gave him a pat on the butt. She didn’t put him down until they were in their room and she could dump him directly on the bed. Then she slipped the Magician's Judge underneath the frame. 

“I need a bath before bed because I smell! Get comfy though, I’ll join you soon.” 

Once she’d stripped down next to the always-steaming copper tub she turned around, surprised to see Caleb sitting on the ground pulling books out of his bag.

“Do you want a bath too Caleb? You can come in with me, you’re just little. Beau fits.”

Caleb gave her a quirk of a smile.

“No, thank-you. I’m just restless. I’ll work for a while before bed, I think.”

“Caleb!” Yasha’s brow furrowed. This was not good. Jester would never allow this, if she was the one taking care of him. 

He shrugged. “I’ll stay here, if they attack I’ll be safe. You'll wake.”

“That’s not what she’s worried about, dumbass.” Beau joined them, a wine bottle under her arm and three glasses in her hand. “It’s late, this thing starts early tomorrow, and you’re the Bright Queen’s favorite human. You need to be sharp. You’re drinking this wine with us and you’re going to bed.”

“Verdammt noch mal , I’m manipulating countries by day and being put to bed like a child every night. Would you all let me be?!” Caleb snapped.

Yasha’s hands moved to her hips. 

“You don't get put to bed like a child, you get taken care of by people who love you because we can't trust you to take care of yourself! And we’re here to protect you, even if it’s from the stupid part of your brain that’s too smart!” Oh, no, that hadn’t come out the way she wanted.

Caleb’s posture turned surly, but Beau stepped between them. 

“Babe, relax, I’ve got this. Take your bath.”

She had him down in a matter of about six seconds. 

First she reached out and seemed to only touch him in the centre of his chest. Yasha barely had time to notice that she’d undone the buckle of his holsters before he was being spun around by a steely hand on the back of his coat-collar.

Beau yanked his coat off in on swift movement, her other hand immediately grabbing the back of Caleb’s holsters and yanking them down to his elbows. She tugged the books out and set them aside while twisting the leather straps into a makeshift binding for his arms. She shoved him face-first onto the bed, straddling his thighs.

Yasha clapped when it was finished, having crawled into the hot bath to enjoy the show.

“Beauregard! Let me go. Now.” Caleb snapped

“Nope.” Beau tugged at his holsters until she could roll him onto his side, one clawed hand starting to scrub at his belly without so much as a glance. Caleb’s body spasmed, his breath pitching as he tried to resist laughing and keep a glare on his face. “There’s only three ways this ends for you. One, you give up, have a nice glass of wine and go to bed in the strong goth’s arms with me. Two, you use your safeword so I have to let you go and you can run off into a corner with your books like a pissy little bitch. Three, I personally tickle you until you pass out, which solves my problem anyway. So what’s it gonna be?”

Her hand squeezed his side and started to climb his ribcage, finally breaking the dams of his resistance. His torso was stretched, his ribcage extended by the angle at which the holsters were pinning his arms behind his back, and with Beau’s strong thighs around his center of gravity he couldn’t do much more than squirm. First a smile broke out, then helpless, rumbling laughter.

“FUHUHUCK YOU LIONEHETTE!” He ground out, earning an audience gasp from Yasha. 

There was a stubborn, defiant and mouthy side of Caleb that only Beau seemed to be able to bring out. Often shocking, when Caleb was always so deferent to his lovers. But then, Beau’s relationship with the men in their group tended to be more ‘beloved best friends I share lovers with and also occasionally make out with’ than 'lover.'

“Ooh, mouthy! So, that’s how you wanna do it, huh? Huh?” 

Beau’s hands started to fly, lightning-fast pinches tweaked Caleb’s ribs, sides, hips, armpits and neck faster than he could react.

“Ah- haha, nein! ” for the first time a little desperation entered Caleb’s voice, his defiance wavering just a little under Beau’s onslaught.

“No? Why? Is the little wizard ready for bed yet? Huh?”

Caleb’s face twisted into a furrowed glare over a helpless smile, and he shook his head from where he was currently muffling his laughter against the bedspread. Beau’s hands jumped to his uppermost ribs on each side, a precision attack that made him start thrashing and shouting in Zemnian. Yasha didn’t know what he was saying, but it didn’t sound complementary.

“How bout now, huh? What if I just do this forever? All ribs, all time! You like that, you smart-ass little shit?”

“No! Nohoho! I will gehehehet you!”

“Pfft. How you gonna do that, huh? You can’t cast your little spells while you’re squealing like a lil bitch…”

Yasha finished towelling herself off and flopped onto the bed next to them, putting her face near where Caleb’s was turned and pressed against the sheets before starting to dance her fingers around his neck and ears.

“Y-Yasha! I- Ah! Hahaha- I don’t- don’t feheeheeheel safe!”

“Oh so now Yasha’s here and you think she’s gonna save you? Nuh-uh. Hey babe, wanna see something cool that Dairon taught me?”

“No!” Caleb yelped, but it was muffled because Beau was already turning him onto his stomach. 

“Ooh yes!” Yasha answered, leaning in with her chin on her other hand and continuing to tease the back of Caleb’s neck. Beau’s fingers started to follow the ley-lines of Caleb’s body, applying a poke, a twist or a ground knuckle at the intersections. 

Caleb’s laughter petered into giddy giggles as his body trembled under the ministrations. He could clearly feel the effects of Beau’s work, because the steady whine of “nononononononono” became just a little more frantic with each applied touch, his neck and shoulders squirming and scrunching further to avoid Yasha’s teasing.

“We usually use this to make people’s nervous system more sensitive for interrogation,” Beau explained, “so… well, I guess it might work pretty well, huh? Let’s see!”

She didn’t bother to roll Caleb over this time, instead jamming her hands under his arms from behind to get his armpits and ribs. Every part of Caleb’s body started to shake, and his laughter turned into muffled shrieks.

“Nahahahat there!”

“Um, we already talked about this. It’s ALL ribs, ALL the time.” Beau teased, stepping up the rhythm of her fingers and making Caleb’s hysteria kick up with each word . “Yup, that works. How’s that, tough guy? Still wanna fight?”

She turned him on his side so he could talk, one hand still jammed under his arm. Caleb was red in the face, but he still spit out “Fuck you fuHAHAHAck you fuHAHAck youhooHAHAHA!”

“Caleb! That’s so rude!” Yasha admonished. “And you know what? I’m getting a little hungry.”

Caleb’s eyes widened and his thrashing sped up. Beau looked a little confused, but watched the one-sided exchange with an amused smile on her face.

“Remember in Aeor when you were a big spider? Do you think you’re as tasty now?” She pounced face-down on one of his thighs. “Omnomnomnom!”

Caleb’s squeal started before Yasha’s face got anywhere near him. She placed one hand on his knee and the other on his stomach to keep his body from folding up to block her, worrying both places with gently wiggling fingers. Then she nipped up and down the thigh muscle from hip to knee like it was corn on the cob, and Caleb nearly levitated off the bed. 

“AAaaiiiiii! YAHAHASHA! AAAH! YAHAHASHAHA PLEAAHEEHEEHESE AAAH! UNCLE! UHAHAHANCLE!"

Yasha paused, peering up at him along the length of his body. Beau's fingers stilled too. 

"Are you gonna come to bed?"

"Yehehes,” he wheezed, “yes!"

Yasha backed off. Beau started to, before mischief overcame her and she tweaked Caleb's ribs, making him convulse and scream. 

"Hey!" Yasha warned, pointing at Beau. "He gave. My meal of wizard legs was interrupted, but I'll fill up on monk ribs if I have to."

Caleb made a raspberry sound at Beau from his position in a heap on the mattress. Beau held her hands up in surrender. "Alright! I was just teasing him, no need to get aggressive... Hey, you! You still want some wine?"

She untwisted Caleb’s holsters, setting him free. 

“Yes pl- *hic* please.” Caleb croaked, still catching his breath.

Beau moved to pour the wine-- white, Caleb didn’t like red-- and they all sipped it as they got ready for bed. Once Caleb had stripped and tucked himself under Yasha’s arm with his head on her shoulder, Beau sat behind him. His spine went rigid.

“Relax.” The monk soothed. “I’m done. It only lasts an hour, but we can get rid of it faster.” 

She started to rub Caleb’s back his firm, flat palms, working out muscles, nerves and energy where she had disrupted it to make him more ticklish. Caleb did relax, eyes rolling as his eyes started to flutter closed.

Beau moved to her other side, settling into a position that mirrored Caleb’s. Yasha fell asleep to the sound of their quiet breathing.

#yahsa protects Caleb from the dangers of being a sad wizard. #but also from deadly wizards #she does it all #yasha nydoorin #caleb widogast #tickling #tickle fic #tk fic #critickle role #mine #poes prose

[megabees]

no need for proclamation | a beauyasha fic

a what-if look at what would have happened if Beau and Yasha began dating during the harp scene in episode 98

alternate title: 5 times the Mighty Nein didn't know Beau and Yasha were dating, and one time it was literally spelled out for them

find it on ao3 or read below

They have a conversation, out there on the beach. 

Yasha with her harp, and Beau, muscles unfurled, feeling at peace for the first time in a while. 

The ocean brings clarity for them. They who were not raised by the sea find their anxieties pulled out and caught in a riptide, their bodies returned to them smoothed and polished like a piece of glass swept out into the waves. In the dry plains of Kamordah, Beau had never seen the ocean. Its vast blue stares back at her, forcing her to appreciate how big it is, how she is miniscule in comparison. Beau: big and brash, loud and bold, a born leader, finds herself taking peace in the vastness. In the grand scheme of things, the ocean remains the same. She means nothing to the waves. There is peace in this. If nothing matters, she can do what she wants. 

 Similarly, Yasha grows up in the Moorlands, surrounded by hills and grasses, but the rocks don’t best the constance of the waves, crashing and settling on the shore. For her, someone who struggles so much with desire, with understanding that her mind is her own, the waves show an unstoppable force. A small child can try to stop the waves from their end, but they always come to the shore anyway. Her path may deviate, like the waves occasionally fade, but she comes back to the same place. Her harp, calming. The waves, swelling and settling. Her mind is her own, she takes fate by the hand. 

In front of the ocean, two women come to similar conclusions, and they have a conversation. 

They leave the beach holding hands, a new relationship formed. 

-------------------------------------------------

The Nein catch on far slower than they realistically should. Yasha and Beau aren’t hiding it, per say. They’re just not making a grand announcement. 

That’s how the Nein does things. You keep a secret until someone weasels it out of you, and then it’s known. There’s no need for a proclamation.

Or so Beau and Yasha thought. After the past three weeks, full of longing glances and not hiding the way they act around each other, they’re beginning to doubt the obviousness of their actions. 

------------------------------------------------

They tried to hint to Jester, that day on the boat making statues for the Traveler, through subtle flirting and glances, but she never noticed.

“You have really good legs, Yasha”, Jester remarked. 

Beau catches Yasha’s eye as she says it, gives her a little up and down look. Calculating, as if she wants to know each and every inch of Yasha’s legs. 

Heat flashes up Yasha’s face. 

“Yeah, the slit was very, uh, high. Helped with moving around.” 

Another knowing glance from Beau to Yasha. When Beau thinks of that night, she thinks of two things. Firstly, the Ruby’s singing and the hypnotic way the fish moved around her. Secondly, she thinks of the way Yasha looked in that dress, shades of grey, black and white illuminating her eyes and her lips. 

As the conversation gets more intense, Beau can’t help her hand from drifting behind Yasha, using it partly to steady herself on the slow rocking of the boat and partly to just get closer. 

Yasha makes a similar move, placing her hand on Beau’s lower thigh, as she once again apologizes for running Beau through with Skingorger. 

“It just adds to my aesthetic. Makes me look more interesting.” Beau is so focused on the hand, slowly and comfortingly rubbing her thigh that she almost misses Yasha’s flustered compliment towards. 

“You’re already very interesting….You’re both very interesting.” 

It’s Beau’s turn to flush. Don’t think she hasn’t noticed Yasha’s propensity to hide a compliment to her within a compliment to everyone. It’s cute. 

It’s fun to be in those stages of a relationship, learning those new things about each other. 

Jester’s probably too busy thinking of Travelercon, they can keep it lowkey for a little longer. 

----------------------------------------

It turns out though, that neither of them is *great* at keeping things low key. 

If you ask Beau, it’s Yasha’s fault. Yasha’s too beautiful and talented, and she keeps showing it off. That harp haunts a few of Beau’s dreams. 

(Harps require some deft finger skills, if you catch the drift.) 

Yasha gets up to perform for the village of Vo, and she’s surrounded by all these people. Beau watches the way her hands shake, how she searches the crowd for a familiar face, and yells out “Freebird!” so that Yasha can find her. 

For Yasha, Beau’s a grounding face in the crowd of people. Someone who doesn’t care how she does, who just is there to support her. All of the Nein is, but this song is for Beau. 

Caleb lights Yasha up with silent bolts of lightning, mesmerizing the entire village of Vo, illuminating Yasha with her own personal spotlight.

It’s funny, you know. Prior to meeting Yasha, Beau had always hated storms. In the winery, grapes that got too much rain produced thin and watery wine, and when there was a thunderstorm, the workers couldn’t harvest the grapes. It meant her dad was always angry when there was a storm. Loss of profit, and all that. 

Once she met Yasha though, a storm signified Yasha for her. Thunder became part of the comforting rumble of sleeping with the Nein, and lightning illuminated how different her life looked from five years ago. 

Even when Yasha was gone, Beau hoped every night to hear a storm. Maybe it meant Yasha was returning to them. 

So it’s not her fault she’s put in a stupor by Yasha’s performance. That’s her girl. 

It unlocks a deluge of feelings in her chest. Beau’s shell-shocked, as the Nein discusses the performance absent of Yasha. 

She can’t help but allow herself to chime in. 

“That was amazing.” 

She makes sure to tell Yasha how amazing it is later that night, in hushed tones wrapped up together. 

----------------------------------------------

After that, they begin to find their stride in how they act around their friends. 

In battle, Yasha has a free pass to be as protective as she wants. Beau’s more fragile than she, and is somehow easily swallowed? Yasha’s confused on how the beasts they keep fighting manage to find Beau in their mouths more than anyone else. 

Either way, Beau usually ends up taking more damage than anyone else notices. 

Nothing against Jester or Cad as healers, but they tend to focus on the group’s overall health levels, and Beau likes to play off her injuries. 

Vulnerability isn’t easy for Beau, so Yasha keeps a watchful eye. 

She’s already lost one partner, she doesn’t need to lose another. 

They’re traipsing through the forest, and Yasha looks away for one moment, and suddenly Beau is on the ground unconscious. 

Nosy Expositor can’t keep her hands to herself, Yasha supposes.

She gets Beau back up, taking lightning damage and healing her.

For Yasha, her healing hands are a way of showing Beau her affection. They symbolize forgiveness, and they symbolize hope. It’s just a way of showing how she cares. Yasha’s not great with words, she speaks through her actions, and she hopes Beau understands. 

That being said, as if she’s gonna let her girlfriend get healed by just Fjord. 

“It’s not a competition, okay!” 

“It’s a competition.” 

Fjord’s got nothing on her. She’s there for Beau. 

This is re-enforced, of course, when Beau asks Yasha to carry her following the fight. There was a time, when Yasha was just regaining her mind, where Beau asked Caleb to carry her following the fight with Obann instead of Yasha, and while Yasha would never admit it to Beau, it hurt a little. 

Carrying Beau is Yasha’s thing. They’ve had this joke running through the time they’ve spent together, and Yasha isn’t a fan of other people trying to butt in on that. 

Perhaps she’s a bit protective, a bit jealous of Beau. How is she to not be, though, when she was gone for so long and Beau got so much closer with everyone else. For Yasha, post-Obann was a new fear. The Nein had pursued her for so long, but they also made new friends, and what if the Nein had liked them more than they liked Yasha? It’s hard to feel like part of a group when you’re never there. Plus, she was helping someone raise a terrible god, and killing Beau’s co-workers, and while none of it was in her control, she did it. 

The fact that the Nein forgave her? That Beau forgave her and still wants to be with her? 

Yasha’s still not sure how she got so lucky. 

This thought is reinforced with Beau in her arms as they walk through the forest to face a false god. Yasha loves to be able to help. Jester and Cad might be the healers, but Yasha loves the feeling of Beau’s small, lithe body in her arms. 

She just wants to hold Beau forever, shelter her from any oncoming attacks. 

It’s with this thought that she misses Beau giving Jester a thumbs up as they venture further into the forest. 

Who needs subtlety? 

----------------------------------------------

When Yasha catches Beau in the air with her new wings, part of her is sure it’s gonna tip off the rest of the group. 

It’s so romantic. It was probably a beautiful visual. 

Unfortunately, it seems like the rest of the Nein is either being incredibly dense or incredibly respectful, and Yasha’s too held up in her brand new wings to decide which they are. 

She flies up and over the mountain with Beau swooning in her arms, and it’s perfect. The sun casts a beautiful golden haze over the island, and Beau’s skin shines in the sunlight. 

Yasha might have the wings, but Beau is her angel. 

Then the wings disappear and they plummet into a shallow pond. 

Yasha’s not thrilled the wings last for such little time, but at least she gets to see Beau soaking wet from the pond, giggly and delighted at the flight. 

In that moment, Yasha is overwhelmed with love. It’s too early to say, but she’s been in love before. She knows what that rush feels like, that off balance feeling of “oh shit I’m in deep”. 

A small secret, then. Something to unpack on her own time. There’s no need to speed it up, to burden Beau with this until she’s ready. 

This love, it can be just hers to have for a bit. She’s allowed to want that. 

Beau brings her back to herself, pulling her out of the pond and her own thoughts in one fell swoop. 

Holding hands and giggling, they make their way to the edge of the cliffside, overlooking the mountain awash in sunlight. Looking out, Yasha is overcome and she leans over to give Beau a quick peck on the lips. 

“I’m happy to have you here with me.” 

“Oh? That true, sap?” 

Yasha laughs, nodding her head and breaking eye contact, and leads Beau to the edge to point the way down back to their friends. 

“We should probably head back, they’re gonna think we’re dead.”

They take a little extra time on the way down though since the Nein hasn’t noticed their other hints. It’s put to good use. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

The day they visit Molly’s grave is when they give up any attempt to be subtle at all. Throughout Rumblecusp and the days after, their relationship has switched from being a complete secret to being something that they could easily explain if asked, but no one has outright asked them if they’re dating, so it just hasn’t happened. 

Either the Mighty Nein is very dense or very respectful. Yasha’s sensing it might be half and half, because Caduceus had a very meaningful conversation with her about wanting things and patience, but Jester and Veth keep giving Beau looks when they think she should make a move. 

Yasha and Beau talk about it at night. It’s funny to them that everyone keeps dancing around the topic. Neither of them is sure about where they got the idea that they can’t just ask, but it’s fun to just have this to themselves. 

Until they go to visit Molly’s...no..Lucien’s? grave. 

Yasha has a lot of feelings around Molly and his grave, and she’s not exactly thrilled by Caleb’s suggestion that they dig him up to get some answers to questions they don’t even know yet. Feels almost rude, to take a friend out of the ground to inquire about his personal life. 

She mentions it to Beau, in a hushed whisper, and Beau attempts to stop Caleb’s focused energy by hinting heavily at it, but his focus is so intense that he brushes her, and Jester, who picks up on both Beau and Yasha’s discomfort, off. 

He gets like that sometimes. 

They teleport there, and Yasha is struck by how normal it looks. His coat is still there, though it’s blown off the stake they put in to mark his grave, and for a moment, she lets herself hope that he’s still there. 

Beau’s hand finds its way into hers as they watch Veth and Cad dig up the grave, a thread of reality keeping Yasha tethered there, eyes locked onto the now empty grave. 

She removes her hand from Beau’s, and instead moves it to the small of Beau’s back, pulling Beau closer to her for comfort. Beau’s body is tiny, but it’s something to grasp as they both figure out what this means for their future. 

At  one of the lowest moments since she regained her mind, Beau is there with her. 

She squeezes Beau’s hand once. Beau squeezes back. They’re ready to tell everyone now. 

---------------------------------- 

They tell everyone in Caleb’s fancy tower, after Yasha decides to throw caution to the wind and make a joke about Beau’s fancy sex mirror above her bed. 

Jester and Veth are overjoyed, Fjord and Caleb both want to make sure they’re taking care of each other and won’t mess up the group, and Caduceus just nods happily, though they’re sure he knew all along. 

As they sit around the fire, Yasha and Beau link pinkies and bask in the laughter and joy of their family. 

Things will be okay. 

#critical role #beauyasha #beauregard lionett #yasha nydoorin

[salamoonder]

caddy did specifically say he isn't into sex though? it's not true for every ace, but it is for him & i guess i don't get why someone would (after this episode) write smut with him

alright anon, you clearly sent this in good faith and i’m going to try my best to give you a reasonable explanation. apologies if it gets rambly or tmi, i’m going to insert tws.

let me give you some perspective on where i’m coming from.

hi, i’m thane. i was raised in an extremely isolated religious homeschool community in the literal woods with a lot of siblings .i thought i was never going to leave this tiny little town. i think death is fascinating, i love mushrooms and i adore tea. i consider myself to be, among other things, asexual. i’m possibly romance repulsed. (still figuring that out.) when i get upset i throw myself into taking care of other people and ignoring my own feelings as hard as possible. i project onto caduceus hard.

for the past six months or so, i’ve been working on a fjord/caduceus smut fic in which i also project very hard onto fjord, who i also believe falls somewhere on the aroace scale. it deals with the discomfort of realizing that other people may be attracted to you in a way that you can’t reciprocate, the frustration of having a high libido and nothing to “do” with it, having a connection with someone that isn’t quite sexual or romantic or platonic that is difficult to explain to anyone else, and the pressure of outside expectations and rude questions/assumptions on a private relationship that people don’t “get”--are you ace or aren’t you? if you have sex with someone when you’re not particularly into it, doesn’t that mean they forced you? why don’t you just kiss already? qprs are just friendships, haven’t you ever had a friend before? how can you be kinky and dislike sex at the same time? that kind of thing. this fic is my baby and i’ve poured a lot of my own experiences and thoughts and feelings into it. i’m not sure if i will ever actually publish it. it might be too personal. anyway. there is one reason for you that people may still write cad smut after this.

i understand the frustration of watching allo people go “buuuut ace people have sex too so i can just keep shipping him!”. i’ve dealt with a lot of that--fortunately not in this fandom (yet :P) but i’m in another fandom where it’s frustratingly prevalent, and quite frankly, i can’t stand it. so i get it. i really do. and the posts that i made were out of frustration and anger at the idea that now that we have canon confirmation, that would mean that i would now possibly have to contend with “excuse me caduceus is ace wtf” in my shippy cad posts or fics when quite frankly i’ve considered him canon ace for months and was feeling very well represented and happy that i had someone who is somewhat like me to insert into these relationships, especially in qprs or in “yeah we’re dating but it’s not really a Relationship relationship we just kind of do our own thing, attraction and lack thereof is weird and nebulous and we just do what makes us comfortable”.

[dubcon tw, sex, “virginity” talk] another reason someone may have, from a reader’s perspective? there’s a fic on the kink meme which i can link to if anyone wants it where the nein encounter a dragon who says that he can trade nott’s true halfling form back to her in exchange for a sexual favor from the nein, so long as it’s from a virgin. jester starts to volunteer but caduceus insists, reasoning that sex isn’t really a big deal to him since he’s not into it and doesn’t matter all that much. he basically dissociates during the act itself and later feels empty/weird/”broken” without really knowing why and has some trouble processing the encounter, especially as, he reasons, he consented, right? it ends in a lot of comfort and validation from the rest of the nein.

without going too deep into details of my own trauma, this was a fic that i was able to point to and say me yes me this makes sense oh my god other people experience or at least understand this. it was an incredibly validating read. so there’s another reason. [end tw]

one last thing i would just like to clarify/point out: while i don’t have to like it (and i seriously do not like it), a lot of people in that other fandom i talked about will tag fics with “i know [character] is aroace, but i’m ignoring that in this fic”. it’s kind of shitty of me to read that, and then complain that “hey, [character] isn’t aroace in this fic”. they warned me. (it is also worth noting that a lot of this stuff is just people continuing fics that they’d started before this character’s identity was confirmed.) and i don’t have to like or agree with them, but they have made it extremely easy for me to open that fic, see the warning, and go “oh, nope, not for me”, and click out. we can debate till we’re blue in the face if this is the same as, say, if i tagged my fic with “human!molly” and someone went “oh, nope, not for me” and clicked out, because “tiefling” is not a real life marginalized identity, but they do have one thing in common, and that is that they are both not canon. they can’t change canon and they never will. that’s the magical best-and-worst part about fanfiction, in my opinion. if someone is going around saying “caduceus isn’t aroace because i said so” well then not only is that asshole behavior, it’s just a straight up lie. but i don’t want people to be punished for warning me exactly what i’m getting into precisely because i may not like it.

so there’s my reasoning for writing ace cad smut, and also my reasoning for why i don’t think we should be harassing people for writing clearly marked cad smut, ace or otherwise. if you’d like clarification or more explanations, please don’t hesitate to ask. it feels like i barely brushed the surface of my thoughts on this.

#i genuinely don't know what to tag this with tbh. #not putting it in main tags #but not tagging discourse either since this particular question is just that #a question and not an argument #if you want additional trigger tags please lmk #anonymous

[howlingheartdemigod]

i’ve been listening to love ain’t on repeat. that’s my excuse for this.

title from [-318] of @asoftersea

changing colors for you

Yasha drove a monster of a truck. Beau could always hear it turning into the neighborhood coming back to the house. Jester thought it was a trick and she had a tracker on Yasha, which was ridiculous, but Jester insisted that there was no way Beau could hear the difference between any other truck coming down the street and Yasha. But it was distinctive. 

So, long and short, Beau knew Yasha was about a street away, and was trying to figure out what she was going to say. “Thanks for picking me up for the fourth date my girlfriend has either not shown up to or walked out early on this month,” didn’t sound quite right. “I know you hate her, but let me justify why this time she was in the right to leave, because I was the one who pissed her off,” would only get her a side eye that was half pity, and half pain. Beau figured saying nothing would be her best bet.

As Yasha pulled around the corner, Beau pushed to her feet, brushing off the seat of her pants. They were new. She’d been really excited. Tori had acted like they were going to have a great night, fancy dinner. They’d had a fancy appetizer, at least. 

As the truck rattled to a stop, Yasha throwing it into park, Beau started to lift a hand, preempt what was coming. Yahsa, without turning off the engine, jumped out of the driver's seat, moving around the blue behemoth to scan Beau. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, Yash.” Beau sighed, shoulders slumped. Yasha did this every time, scanned Beau up and down, checked for bruises. It was an old habit, one formed in the start of their friendship, when Beau would sneak out of her father's home to hide away with Yasha and Molly in their crap apartment. Beau had explained that Tori would never. Yasha always checked anyway. 

Yasha let out a broken, annoyed huff. “She left you on the side of the road in a shitty part of time just before sundown.” 

“It’s not that shitty-”

“Beau, Molly and my old apartment is two blocks from here. You’re used to coming from the other side of town, but it’s two blocks.” Yasha replied, stepping to allow Beau a path to the truck. Beau stepped towards the passenger door, conceding the point. Yasha had reached and opened the door for Beau, standing to offer a hand. It was a practiced habit, putting her hand in Yasha’s to jump up in the truck. The hand holds had long been ripped out, Ioun knows why, by the previous owner. They’d adapted. Yasha lifted a hand to brace Beau’s back as she hopped in, and Beau slid into the seat, the routine feeling natural, weirdly calming. Beau found herself strangely relieved that one thing in her night had gone smoothly. Yasha moved around to the drivers side as Beau flicked the radio on, flipping through commercials to the first preset with actual music playing. Trashy country pop. It would do. Yasha pulled herself into the truck, and took a little breath, checking her mirror before pulling away from the curb. 

Beau kept quiet for a while, picking at her nails. She felt like an idiot. 

She should have known something was wrong when she texted to check times with Tori and her reply was “what, you forgot? can’t scroll up?” Beau had just been hoping it was a bad morning, that she’d shake it before dinner. 

She should have known when she showed up to get Beau and scowled. “You make me look like I’m dating a teenager wearing stuff like that.” 

“What do you mean?” Beau’d asked, looking herself over. Tori wasn’t that much older than her, but sometimes acted like Beau was so much younger. “I’m… it’s just a shirt.” 

“You should go change.” 

Beau’d decided it wasn’t worth the fight, and had gotten out of the car, going back in. Yasha’d asked then why she’d come back in. When Beau told her she hadn’t been up to dress code, Yasha’s face darkened, but she’d promised her she looked good, before turning and asking Fjord if he agreed. He had albeit uncomfortably. Beau changed anyway. 

She should have known during the car ride over, when Tori criticized every song choice Beau made, or at the restaurant when Tori hissed that Beau needed to just stop talking when all she was doing was asking for a drink menu. 

But she'd let it go on, let it simmer, hoping Tori would get the stick out of her ass. She hadn’t. Beau had said something wrong or stupid or thoughtless, which… she should have known it would set Tori off. Breaking the glass was a touch over the top, but still. Beau let a few minutes pass, picking up glass carefully off the table into a cloth napkin, before she started to think Tori wasn’t going to come back. She let another few pass before she stepped outside to find the car gone. She waited, hoping, for a bit longer, before calling Yasha, asking in a small voice to see if she could bring the truck to pick Beau’s pathetic ass up. 

Yasha had, without hesitation, agreed. It almost made it worse, like she was expecting the call. She’d been there in half the time it should have taken, but Yasha never seemed to get pulled over. Beau sniffed a little, scrubbing at her nose with the back of her hand. 

“She shouldn’t do that, Beau.” Yasha’s voice was quiet, words seeming careful. 

Beau looked over, pulling her eyes away from the slowly darkening street ahead. Yasha had looked angry since pulling up, rage holding her shoulders tight, her weight shifted in just a way. Beau was never scared of that rage, but she’d seen what it can do. It was amazing. Now, Yasha just looked tired. Yasha just looked… annoyed. She looked sad. She looked… Beau couldn’t place the last thing but if she’d been standing it would have floored her. Beau feared Yasha turning the full force of whatever that was on to her, worried she wouldn’t be able to act right about it. 

Beau swallowed, looking away. “Well, I pissed her off.” 

“Beau, she shouldn’t treat you like this.” Yasha said, voice a little more firm. “I… you are important to me, and I’ve… I’ve heard her say that she loves you, and I just… I can’t not tell you, that’s not what love is supposed to look like.” 

Beau bristled, sitting up straight. “Well, what the fuck would you know. What do you think love should look like?” She pushed back into the seat, trying to turn away from Yasha. She jolted as the car quickly slowed, then stopped on the side of the road. 

Yasha’s hand pulled Beau’s chin, hands soft. “Love doesn’t look like you, in your new clothes, on the side of the road. It doesn’t look like you calling me because she abandoned you and won’t pick up. She shouldn’t be making you cry every other day. This whole bullshit relationship, she’s been pulling you away from us, she’s been hurting you, she’s been in it for herself, nothing more.” Yasha’s hand dropped, sitting on the bench seat between them. “You don’t have to believe I know what love is, but I know what it isn’t.” 

Beau stared, heart pounding. She suddenly could place the look in Yasha’s eye, the one she couldn’t figure out before. She swallowed as Yasha turned back, adjusting her mirrors. Beau stretched across the seats, pushing up on a knee, to catch Yasha’s jaw with her hand. “Show me what it should look like.” Beau pleaded, stomach in knots. 

Yasha stared at her a second, the lights of a passing car throwing her in sudden, stunning relief. Beau had never seen her more beautiful. Yasha surged forward, catching Beau’s lips in hers, an arm going around her waist. Beau pushed into her, a hand curling in Yasha’s tangled locks. Beau opened her mouth, gasping in relief she didn’t know she’d been seeking. She felt lit up, like she wasn’t holding her breath anymore.

Yasha’s forehead tilted into Beau’s, breaking the kiss. “I couldn’t, for the longest time, remember why I kept letting her do that to you.” Yasha said softly. “I’m not going to put up with it anymore, in case that wasn’t clear.” 

Beau nodded. “Very.” she promised. Yasha nodded, and slowly pushed Beau back into her seat, checking her mirrors, then driving them home. 

Tori texted a lackluster apology the next morning. Beau’d left her charger in her own room. Didn’t see it until past two in the afternoon. She decided not to text back. She decided to block Tori’s number. She decided to get back into bed, when Yasha called for her.

#i feel like writing reports at work has made my writing worse lolol #beauyasha #critical role #the mighty nein #critrole #cr2 #tmn

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Essek meta: the monster post

(Beware, long post incoming)

I’ve been sitting on my thoughts on Essek for days, and pretty much all my asks have been on the subject. I decided that instead of answering them all, I’d do my best to gather all my thoughts and reasoning into one post.

At this stage, there’s no solid evidence for or against Essek’s goals and morals being opposed to the Mighty Nein’s. Circumstantial evidence, yes. He’s been very accomodating, but not necessarily suspiciously so. There have been small hints that maybe he’d rather do things the Mighty Nein’s way, not the Bright Queen’s.

And I will say this: prior to this episode, even good insight checks apparently revealed nothing alarming about Essek or his motives. They didn’t entirely absolve him of suspicion, but neither did they create more.

In fact, the main cause for concern this episode was that Essek’s behaviour seems to have changed. Nott says he was acting “funky,” which implies she was using her previous experience with him as a basis for comparison. She goes on to equivocate with “we haven’t seen him in a while...”

However (and this is going to be a bit controversial), I think people are being a bit wilfully blind in regards to Essek. Many, many metas pointing out that Essek may just be at the end of his rope, tired, and wanting someone to rely on (while hoping that he can do so on the Mighty Nein).

They’re all good, solid theories, and I hope that they’re true! But but in the end there are factors I’ve notice that make me reluctant to buy into it wholesale.

Nott asked Caleb to scry on Adeen, not Essek. If she was concerned about Essek in general, wouldn’t she ask to check in on him? Sure, you can say “Essek is a powerful wizard, he’s probably protected,” but you could say the same of a max security prisoner who’s being actively watched over. Caleb literally only turned the idea down because of that. Hell, even Nott knew that! She starts with, “would it be a terrible idea...” when she pitches scrying on Adeen. And yet, she suggested it anyway.

Nott must have thought there would be something to gain by looking at Adeen, which means this isn’t just about Essek’s demeanor. It’s about his relationship to Adeen specifically. She says, “Something about the way that he was behaving when we were at that prison was funny to me.”

It’s not just Essek being overworked or tired in general. It’s Essek on this specific matter. And no matter how drunk or silly Nott can be, she’s not stupid. She’s fucking smart. She was the second smartest member of the party until Beau got the circlet. Nott rarely brings up genuine, serious concerns, and she treated this with nervous gravity.

Obviously the players can misinterpret what they get from whispers, but I don’t think Matt leaves it so open to interpretation that Nott could notice things that point to simple (if extreme) stress and misinterpret it as Essek being shady.

Consider this, too: in the conversation leading up to Fjord’s “interrogation” of Adeen, Essek insists multiple times that they used various means to force the truth from Adeen, and that while Adeen initially insisted he had no idea what was going on (as any traitor would), “we managed to excise the truth, and the Taskhand has, ah, given his hand, if you will.”

And yet as soon as Fjord goes in there, Adeen displays confusion, distress, and readily admits that he has no idea what’s going on while confessing he does think he did things (that he also insists he would never do). How the hell would Essek & Co have missed that?

I suppose you could say that Adeen may have been answering pointed questions during interrogation, and they would have ignored any “I don’t know” type answers, but still. It’s a pretty big fucking thing to miss.

Essek didn’t immediately go to the Bright Queen with the information on Adeen, but he clearly intended to speak with her soon, and only put it off to see the Mighty Nein first. When the Nein propose that all of them go to see the Bright Queen together, Essek is enthusiastic, and prompts for them to go immediately, only waiting when the Nein express an interest in Adeen. He is again the one to prompt a meeting with the Bright Queen after returning from checking Adeen for a mark.

So, in my eyes, his decision to go to meet the Nein briefly before seeing the Bright Queen was not a reflection of his hesitancy to implicate or even condemn Adeen to the Bright Queen, but rather came from the knowledge that the Nein would have important and relevant information. As he said, he didn’t want to give information to the Bright Queen “piecemeal.” He’d rather wait and give her a full report. Waiting to see what the Nein had to offer fits in perfectly with that attitude.

Essek is very, very good at being non-defensive, rational, reasonable, and even agreeable. He listens to the Nein when they start theorising about Adeen possibly being under magical influence. He agrees to the points they make. He readily entertains their notions... without pushing any of them any further, and without putting forward HIS thoughts on the matter.

I don’t believe he was reluctant to throw Adeen under the bus. He didn’t bring up the mind control theory to the Bright Queen at all. Jester literally says, “I thought Essek would...” before launching into her “Adeen may not be guilty” pitch.

Nott’s insight was instigated on Essek’s return from checking Adeen for a mark,  though she clearly got insight as to his behaviour earlier in the prison as well. That may imply that Essek was not completely honest about his search of Adeen for evidence of mind control. 

Clearly, the mind control theory isn’t one Essek was personally enthused about.

Possibly relevantly, an anon pointed out:

Rewatching the scene, anon is right. Yes, technically Adeen is banging his head against the wall, but he doesn't knock himself out. He “exhales” and starts snoring. And remember, Matt ruled that a creature willingly banging their own head against something wasn’t enough to fall unconscious. So... Adeen fell asleep? In the middle of a distressed, high emotion downward spiral? With Essek, a highly adept wizard, waiting and watching in the shadows? Hm. Could be innocent. It’s perfectly understandable that someone who’s been through as much mental, emotional, and physical duress as Adeen has would be exhausted. But in light of everything else I’m trying to unpack here, I though it was worth noting.

All of the suspicion of Essek is wrapped up with Adeen, and other relevant factors point to him not especially wanting Adeen to be absolved of guilt. This could mean many things: he’s the traitor, he has it out for Adeen specifically, he’s hiding some information he discovered relevant to Adeen, he just wants the search for the traitor to be over with. Who knows? But I certainly don’t believe Nott was simply observing high stress from his job.

In the end, the real evidence against Essek's guilt, to any degree, is his personality. Critters like him. The Nein like him. He’s been a helpful ally who everyone seems to fall head over heels for without Essek trying for that kind of reception (see Matt’s confusion at him being instantly labeled “hot boi”). People are eager to look to his personality, his current position, and give him sympathetic internal reasoning that is pure supposition.

Again, it’s good supposition! They’re good theories! But I don’t think you can discount or sweep under the rug the causes for concern so easily.

To be quite frank, we still have no solid evidence against Essek being the/a traitor, while we HAVE been given cause to doubt his complete innocence. The fandom bias towards him especially makes me a bit reluctant to accept the lenient answer straight off the bat. 

I think that there’s something more going on with him. I’m also not convinced he’s a traitor, especially not long term. There’s simply not enough for me to go off of in making up my mind. But I felt it was necessary to point out that the concern about Essek in this instance has real merit, and I wasn’t really seeing that brought up and discussed. 

So... here you go, I guess?

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e90 #speculation #ramblings #essik #anon with the mind control theory screenshotted above: i have a separate answer for that theory don't worry #I'm prepared for this to be very unpopular (understandably) but i had to get my thoughts and doubts out there #also ill probably miss talks live but ill ALSO probably watch it later tonight or tomorrow

[grimmseye]

A Bird in the Hand: Chapter Nine

Read on Ao3 here!

Rating: M

Fandom: Critical Role

Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (eventual),

Chapter Characters: Mollymauk Tealeaf, Essek Thelyss, Jester Lavorre

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Molly Rez, Amnesiac Mollymauk, Oh My God They Were Roommates, Acrophobia, Violence, Tarot, Bed-sharing

— — —

Essek goes silent in the days leading up to the peace talks. It's an affair Mollymauk only faintly understands, static-filled memories informing him of something, some tension in the air of impending violence and fear. There's a memory of his own voice urging them to get out, there's a reason he doesn't want a Name, attention is fine but being known is not.

This is going to determine the immediate fate of two countries. The lives of their soldiers, thrown to the slaughter for a cause Mollymauk could not comprehend, could be saved. And that was good, yes, in a distant and grand sort of way. It was too big for him to fit it into a scope he could understand.

Essek, he was sure, knew that scope, and yet Mollymauk doubted that was the source of his stress. There was something else under the surface, that connected to the way his ears started to droop when the conversation swung to the Mighty Nein. More concerning, though,was the fact that Essek had started to disappear. Where Mollymauk had previously heard a muffled voice from the tower's door, there was now silence, the kind that emerged from an absence of a person to be quiet. By the time Mollymauk took notice of it, the absences were regular enough to be timed.

Let the world feel a shudder wrack its spine when Mollymauk Tealeaf produced the beginnings of a plan.

It would never go beyond those beginnings — he wasn't the planning sort. Essek disappeared, which meant that his room was empty and unguarded, which meant that if Mollymauk was going to break into his space, it would have to be now.

He didn't even wait to be sure. A minute spent double checking was a minute sooner Essek would return, so the moment that silence made itself known, Mollymauk was already crossing the tower's bridge. He checked the lock for anything that would explode if he tried to pick it, found nothing, and grinned to himself as he slipped a homemade set of thieves tools into the slot.

Molly's triumph was short-lived. The hook found nothing, no tumblers to leverage into place. It was like the inside was perfectly smooth, but when he tried the knob, it refused to turn.

A grimace stole his face. "Wizards," he growled. A vague sense of someone disappearing in the middle of a fight, off to who the fuck knows where — but that hadn't been a wizard, had it, no, that was the odd drawling voice that asked after Molly's swords and he didn't feel a lick of guilt spinning a lie on the spot because it made relief light in Fjord's eyes and wasn't that a good thing, better to comfort someone with a lie than torment them with a meaningless truth.

Fjord. Taller than Molly with a frame that suggested a strength he really didn't have. Sneaking up behind him and dunking his head under the water and laughing as the man began to sputter, that'll show him. Warmth in the chest as — that was the wizard, yes, the one who froze amid fire and didn't even know how to skim off the top — as someone offered a gorgeous sword to him that let him flit out of one space and into another. "Mister Mollymauk."

"Mister Caleb."

The words fell from his lips, thick as honey. His hand slipped from the doorknob, and he felt a soreness in his palm. How long had he been gripping it?

Mollymauk shook his head to clear it, grinding his thumb against his temple. Door was locked, so —

Windows. He could always get in through a window.

The brick of the towers were uneven enough to climb, though falling from that height without a net to catch him would not end well. Right about now he would kill for a sword that let him teleport. Or Nott's feather spell to catch his fall. Yasha, who he knew would throw herself off a ledge to catch him, and be just fine when she hit the ground.

His chest felt tight, the aching loneliness clawing to the surface. Suddenly he regretted not telling them, these people who were blurred in his mind but make the space beneath his ribs feel hollow.

He drew a sharp breath. The Nein meant something to him. Essek, no matter how much Molly liked the man, was doing something to harm them.

The first brick was cold under his hand. He wasn't the strongest individual, but he knew how to climb. Molly kept himself level with the bridge so if he did lose his grip, he wouldn't fall all the way to the ground below. His muscles ached far sooner than he would prefer. He might have to start doing strength training on top of his stretches. But his hooves took to the narrow brick, his tail working as a counterbalance, and it was only in the moments where he had to ease away from the safety net of the bridge that his pulse really began to race.

The window was positioned where a drop would send him directly to the ground. Much as Molly wanted to stop and catch his breath, freezing now wasn't an option. He dragged in slow breaths to try to calm his palpitating heart. Hand then foot then hand then foot. Sweat on his fingers made his grip slide, panic washing cold over his back as he seized the brick and panted against it. The pitching sensation continued, his body screaming at him for this foolishness. He'd dug himself out of the dirt twice only to break himself from a fall. It likely wouldn't even kill him, just crush his bones, sternum crunched into his lungs for him to bleed out his mouth until he either expired or Essek returned to find him.

He nearly sobbed when he felt the cold of the window against his fingertips. Molly braced his hand against it, palm sliding over the glass with a squeak. Nausea rose in his throat. Did the window even open? Was it locked, or just stuck from disuse?

Grinding his teeth, Mollymauk braced as much weight as he dared against that hand, trying to muster the leverage to force the window up — gods he'd break it it necessary —

A loud crack split the air. Molly's hand slipped.

He watched the tower fall away and blur, too quick to feel anything but shock as he hit empty air. And then something else hit him, knocking the wind out of him as he tumbled, stars spinning to earth before coming to a halt clutched in Essek's arms.

Molly wheezed and clung to him, the position awkward — Essek's shoulder dug just between his ribs, but he was more than happy to sling legs around his waist and claw at his mantel for a handful of material. In the haze of his manic vision, he saw branches of light — spectral wings that extended from Essek's shoulder blades, flapping periodically to keep them aloft.

The descent made Molly squeak and cling tighter. Sweat was dripping from his temples, shaking violently as Essek stooped down to force his hooves onto solid earth with a grunt of exertion. Even then, Mollymauk didn't let go of him, just clinging to his arms instead.

Essek yanked himself away. Molly let him go, wrapping his arms around himself. He forced a grin, saying, "Good — g-good save, Mister Thelyss."

Molly had never seen anger on Essek's face before. It was a quiet thing, simmering beneath a frigid surface. The pin of his ears, the tremor in his hands, the clench of his jaw, those were the things that tipped Molly off to just how badly he'd fucked up here.

"What were you doing?" Essek asked, voice dangerously steady.

Mollymauk even considered telling the truth. Then he remembered how Essek had physically crushed a person's body into an unrecognizable mash, and said, "Well — let me tell you — that was not worth it." It let his brain race ahead as he lifted a finger and played up his breathless state. Not snooping, not spying, just — "I even forgot to actually bring the paints with me."

"The —" Essek's anger faltered. "Paints?"

Molly gave him a grin, rubbing the back of his neck. His legs were trembling too violently to remain upright, and he let himself collapse into the grass instead. Play up the pity angle. He's just a frightened, helpless tiefling, nothing to see here. "I was gonna paint a dick on your window."

Blue, blue, blue. Blue skin, blue hair, but she danced with every other color. A streak of mischief that Mollymauk adored, and he'd snarl in infernal just to delight in her laughter, the best audience he could ask for.

Essek's eyes took on the same hopeless adoration that Mollymauk felt. His shoulders slumped, and he ran his fingers through his hair. Then again. On the third time, his fingers caught, and he tugged at the white strands, for Molly to push himself upright with a "Whoa, hey —" and then to pitch forward as black spots flitted in his vision.

He landed against Essek again, and wheezed a laugh. "I need to sit down. Like, now. Come on."

Molly grabbed Esseks arm and fell back onto the grass, yanking the drow with him to bully him into lying down. It was tempting to just burrow against his side, bask in pressure and warmth. Instead he just let their arms brush where they splayed in the grass.

"These are expensive clothes," Essek said.

"And you can magic the dirt off them, can't you?" Mollymauk looked to the stars. He wasn't sure if they were different here than in the Empire. He thought he remembered somebody pointing shapes out to him, an art not unlike the cards he dealt. You could be born under certain stars, but Molly didn't know them. No matter how many times the lines were traced, he only saw a field of pinprick lights.

"That was stupid, you know," Essek murmured. "Climbing the tower. At least Jester can catch herself if she falls."

Mollymauk scoffed. "Who needs magic? Well, their own magic, anyway. Apparently I've got a wizard at my beck and call."

"Oh, gods," Essek rasped, and Molly cackled. "I should have let you hit the ground."

"It was your fault I lost my grip, anyway," Molly snorted. "Is teleporting always that loud?"

"Yes. Something to do with the displacement of air." Essek raised a hand, curling his fingers through the air. "If you had not been scaling my tower, you would not have fallen."

"Now let's not go pointing fingers." Molly smirked as he grabbed Essek's hand to force it back down to the grass.

The moon smiled down at them, lopsided and thin. A cloud skimmed past it, stealing away the light that bathed them. Mollymauk wasn't particularly devout, but he had to wonder if it wasn't Her blessing.

The Peace Talks arrived almost without Mollymauk's awareness. They were only heralded but the shift in Essek's attitude, from a quiet that was uncharacteristic even for him to snappish remarks, banishing Mollymauk from any space the two of them just happened to end up in together. That was only when he made himself visible at all, still shutting himself away in his towers, shielded from prying eyes.

Mollymauk still wished he'd managed to get in, but whatever was coming, he would have no say in it. And really, that was just fine. Molly really wasn't one to interfere, only to react.

Just waiting had his nerves twisting up, and he found himself slipping things into a bag throughout the day. Swords in their scabbards, the sturdier outfits Essek bought him, gold pieces stolen unabashedly from a cloak left hanging up to be washed later. He hardly realized he was doing it until there was no more room, and he was having to stretch the chord to fit it around the button.

A sigh pushed from his chest. Mollymauk set the bag aside and reached for his supplies. He had a card to make.

The Eclipse was joined with Fractures. Upright, it meant convergence, the joining of multiple parts. Reversed, it was separation, a breaking point. One of the more straightforward symbols, and one that felt right as he began to sketch the pieces.

The sun, and the two moons, overlapping in a line of three. At the edges where they met, they shattered.

Molly, Molly, what does that one mean, is that you?

He was smiling before he looked up. Jester was practically sprawled over his back, her hands falling on his shoulders as she peered at the cards he'd laid out.

"Naw," he grinned. "It's us."

He was being facetious, but there was a sliver of truth tucked into it. Jester gasped, "Us? Us like you and me or like all of us?" A grin spread across her face as she pressed her cheek to his. "Molly," she giggled, saying his name like Mawl-ee with that curling accent of hers, "do you have a crush on me?"

Her giggling said it was a joke but he purred, "You know I do, dear." And again, he sort of meant it. Not really, not like how she obviously pined over Mister Fjord, but Mollymauk gave his heart easily, and if almost anyone of this ragtag group wanted to hold his hand or take him to bed, he'd be happy to follow along.

"Okay okay okay, but you only have one," Jester points out. "What are the rest?"

"You want a full reading?"

He was already reaching for his cards as Jester swept a chair to his side and threw herself into it, tail curling with excitement. "Of course," she scoffed, and then perked up. "But first, what's that one?"

"The Eclipse," Mollymauk told her. "So if you take this as the past for the Mighty Nein, this is very literally just our meeting. It's the convergence of multiple parts into a singular whole, see? Now, for present..."

He spread the remainder of his deck on the table. Molly reached for her, saying, "Here, take my hand. Since this is for all of us, the more guiding our hands, the better." And if maybe he nudged them to his own pick, all that mattered was that Jester didn't realize.

He guided her hand to the middle of the arc, then drew and flipped a card. This one was an image of two coins, one gold and one silver, balanced on opposite ends of a scale. "The Coin," he announced. "Reversed. Also known as Risk. Things are uncertain right now. We may be headed for misfortune — but it's not defined just yet."

"What kind of misfortune?" Jester asked.

"Well, they're not exact," Molly chuckled. "But maybe the Future will tell us?"

"Oh!" Jester perked up. "Can I pick it?"

Molly laughed and leaned back, offering her the table. With Eclipse out of the way — and more importantly, Fractures — there wasn't much that could give her a terrible reading —

Jester pulled a card towards the end of the deck, flipping it with a "Hah!" and all but slamming the card on the table.

Even though he was the one to make it, Mollymauk felt his gut twist at the sight.

"The Broken," he announced. The image looked like a web, twisted, jagged spokes of a wheel that ran into one another. "Upright, this card calls for..." Tragedy, specifically. Not always, but often. "Harrowing times. Loss. It looks like we've got our work cut out for us, Jes."

Molly looked at her, feeling his heart skip at the crestfallen expression on her face. He reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. "So it's good we're together, yeah?" He cajoled, bumping his shoulder into hers until she started giggling.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Molly." She stood up and, sensing the cue, Molly went with her. It was entirely unsurprising when she wrapped her arms around him. Their tails twined together, mutual purrs rumbling in their chests as they swayed back and forth. Then she stepped back, going, "Okay okay okay. Do me, now!"

"I already gave you a reading."

"Yeah but that was age-s ago!"

"Alright, alright, but it'll cost you."

The cracking sound of a teleportation spell snapped Molly out of his reverie. He gasped, sitting bolt upright and gouging into his work. His face was wet. The card was ruined.

Cussing, Molly wiped at his eyes. He tossed the card aside, not the least bit satisfied by its tap against the wall as he headed for the door.

Night had long since fallen, keeping the halls dark as he nudged the door open. From below, a sound made his heart skip: a heavy thud, and rasping breath.

Molly froze for just a second, then grabbed one sword before rushing downstairs. The moment he hit them, he could make out Essek's collapsed form, small and shaking. Snippets of his voice were muffled by the curl of his own body, unintelligible muttering between panting breaths.

"Essek," Molly started, "what the hell —"

"Leave me alone, Mollymauk." His voice was a whisper. Essek draw a sharp breath and started to force himself to his feet, the legs quaking so violently they threatened to give out.

"You're a wreck," he shot back, reaching for Essek's arm. "You —"

Essek snarled. Gravity impacted Molly's chest, spots flying in his eyes as he was clawed away from Essek. He collided with a table, the panel of glass screaming against its metal stand, the sound of a crunch as pressure fractured it down the middle. A hot, throbbing pain settled in his back where he'd impacted.

Molly stared at Essek, where the drow stood, a hand still outstretched. His eyes were wide, pupils blown and ears pinned back. A croaking down dragged from his throat.

Molly groaned and staggered to his hooves. His hand dipped to the handle of his scimitar, lips peeling back as he glared at Essek through narrowed eyes.

"Mollymauk," Essek panted, a tinge of shock in his voice. His hand wavered and then fell, he took an aborted step forward.

Molly prowled towards him. Essek gave no fight as Molly drew his sword and walked him back against the door. Essek's feet were flat on the tile, putting him low enough for Molly to crane his head up into his face.

"Are you done," he asked, voice dripping with derision. "Or do you have to break something else to feel better?"

It was satisfying to watch the shame drip into Essek's face, a horrified light behind his eyes. He didn't speak, only stared, chest heaving.

It was a testament to how rattled Essek had to be that he didn't put up a fight. Molly didn't think he could take him one on one. The man could skip through the air, twist his mind like puddy, turn his body into a puppet on strings if he needed to. But he only shrank against the wall, lips trembling, looking an inch away from crying.

Molly could push him that extra inch.

"Answer the question."

"I'm — sorry —"

Molly cut off his gulping with a, "I didn't ask if you were sorry. I asked if you were done with your tantrum." He pressed a hand to Essek's sternum, intentionally trapping him against the wall. "Well?"

Embarrassment flooded Essek's cheeks, staining his ears as he looked away. "Yes," he rasped. "I... I am done. And I am sorry."

"Care to explain what the fuck that was about?"

Essek took another breath, sharp and shallow. A second. A third. Molly could feel his heart pounding under his palm.

"I..." His voice faltered, and he licked his lips. "I. Today. The Nein discovered my betrayal. That... that I stole one of the Beacons of the Dynasty, and handed it over to the Empire to be studied."

Mollymauk studied his face, Essek's pale moon pupils. There was a sheen to them, not yet crying, but close. He could hear each breath, pulling in and hissing out, feel the heaving us his pulse. He eased up on the pressure, letting Essek stagger away from the wall.

"Alright," Molly said, "that certainly sounds like a lot."

Essek glowered. "You don't even know what that means," he sneered.

Mollymauk bared his teeth in return. "Enlighten me, then."

It didn't take much. He remembered what the Dynasty had done to retrieve their Beacon, the collapse and the panic, the call to war. Essek just drew the line between the dots Molly already had.

As they spoke, more and more of that brief spark of life drained out of Essek. He sagged against the wall, cheek turned away from Mollymauk to speak to the air beside him.

It was bad. It was really, really bad. Worse than anything Mollymauk had forgiven before. Still, he listened, as Essek's voice shook through each word, until they broke into a sharp sound and lapsed into silence. And then it was just Essek, eyes squeezed shut, hands clutching at the wall as he gasped for breath.

Mollymauk drank the image in, and let out a sigh. "Okay," he murmured. "C'mere." He cupped Essek's jaw, drawing him down to press his lips to his forehead. A gasped wrenched from Essek's throat, and Molly hushed him. "Shhhh," he soothed. "Shhhh-shhhh-shhhh. Come on."

Mollymauk took him by the arm, guiding him up the steps. It was slow going with how Essek trembled, and when they reached his bedroom door, Molly had to remind him to open it. Whatever enchantment kept Molly from breaking in parted the way for Essek.

His room was exquisite. Four-poster bed, large enough to comfortably fit two, maybe three. Satin pillows, dramatic curtains framing the window, a shelf of organized components, the rest heavy with books. A bathroom was attached, and gods did Molly want to spy on what was in there.

That was a good idea, actually.

"Have you eaten anything?" Molly asked, unsurprised when Essek shook his head. He didn't say anything else for the next few minutes. Instead, it was spent figuring out how to undo his mantel. First the material, falling away heavier than expected. The metal that guarded his neck came apart in two pieces. Then earrings, Essek's ears twitching away from his touch. Essek stood still, letting him do as he pleased.

"Can you get the rest?" Molly asked, tugging his shirt for emphasis.

Essek took a solid moment to process it, and gave a single nod. He reached slowly for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Great," Molly smiled. He cupped Essek's face, making sure their gazes met. "You take a shower. Just rinse off, you don't have to do anything else. I'll be back up with dinner for you. Alright?"

"... Alright."

"Wonderful." Molly gave his cheek a solid pat and pushed him towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He didn't wait to head down the stairs, but listened for the spray of water as he scrapped a meal together.

He made two trips, one for a pitcher of water and glasses, the other for two bowls of soup. By that point, Essek had emerged from the shower, dressed in a long robe and seated on the bed, staring at the floor. He was mostly dry, but his hair was messier, so Mollymauk had to assume he'd magicked the water off. That was a good sign.

Molly set one bowl down on a dresser to click his fingers. "Hey," he said, voice sharp in a way that wasn't meant to snap, just to catch his attention. Essek glanced up, and Molly handed the bowl over. "That's yours. Eat as much as you can."

It was good soup. Simple, but good. That was most of what Molly knew how to make.

The first few bites were a visible effort, but they seemed to awaken Essek's hunger, as he hurried through the bowl, only breaking to take sips of water. When their bowls were empty, Molly set them aside and banished Essek to the sink to brush his teeth, vanishing to do his own.

He ended up having to pull Essek away from the mirror with a huff of, "Come on, no getting existential before bed."

When he pulled the covers back, Essek only stared at him. A raised eyebrow got an explanation: "I do not need to sleep."

Mollymauk squinted at him. "Right." He drew the word out. "You meditate. Well. Can you meditate laying down? Like, you have a bed. If you're not using it, then you will give it to me. Capiche?"

Essek stared through him for another few moments before absently nodding, and climbing into the bed, letting Molly pull the covers up around him.

"There we go," Molly smiled. "Snug as a bug in a rug."

"A bug in a rug would likely be hopelessly lost," Essek murmured. His eyelids were already drooping.

"Oh hush," Molly snorted. He hesitated for only a moment before saying, "Now, I'm gonna ask you a question here. No judgement, alright?"

Essek heaved a sigh. "That is always a good start."

"I said hush, no more sass." Molly flapped a hand. "Do you want me to stay here tonight?"

That got his attention. He looked more alert than he'd been since leaving this morning, just gazing at Mollymauk without saying a word.

Molly gave a faint smile. "Let's make this easier. Do you want me to leave?"

A moment's pause, and then Essek shook his head.

"Great. Will you flip out if I get in the bed next to you?"

Another shake, this one with an eye-roll to boot.

"Excellent," Molly purred, and wasted no time in sliding into the bed. He immediately seized a pillow to bunch under his head, stretching out with pleased sound. "Oh, fuck, this is wasted on you. Wasted." What was the nicest bed Molly had ever slept on? It didn't matter, this won.

Essek gave a quiet, breathy sort of laugh. "Your turn to hush," he murmured. "I... am exhausted." And it showed.

Molly made a show of theatrical offense, before settling back down and tucking just one lock of loose white hair back into place. "Alright, then. Goodnight, Mister Thelyss."

The sounds of their breaths became the ambience of the room, amid the cool breeze outside, nighttime dwellers singing their songs. Amid it all, Molly very nearly missed Essek's whisper, muffled and half-slurred as it was: "Goodnight, Mister Tealeaf."

#mollymauk tealeaf #essek thelyss #shadowmauk #cr #cr fic #my writing

[utilitycaster]

You mentioned your opinion of jester changed a lot throughout campaign 2. Do you mind explaining how and why that happened?

Not at all!

I think I put this thought about Jester in my tags on my post about Orym being the “wet blanket” archetype. It’s my opinion that every D&D party needs if not a wet blanket per se, a pragmatic person who is willing to bring up the difficult or dull perspective; and they need a doer, a person who drives the story forward in a believable way. I love doers, and Jester’s story is that of becoming one.

I’m not a big fan of chaos. It doesn’t mean I dislike chaotically aligned characters or that I dislike wacky shenanigans but sometimes they can feel really artificial and forced, in a “uh don’t you have shit to do?” kind of way, especially in a not-explicitly-comedy show like CR; a lot of memes online about D&D leave me, a DM and a die-hard “doer” both in D&D and IRL, absolutely cold because it’s like no actually I don’t want to court chaos, I want to let the dice lay out the chaos for me. I want a good plan that goes awry because of weird rolls, not a plan that was always designed to be ridiculous.

So, unsurprisingly, early Jester, who was very much about chaos for its own sake (even if her reasons for that were valid), who was very sheltered and pampered, very innocently inconsiderate of people around her, and who had a fairly vague goal in mind, was less interesting to me than the more pragmatic Caleb, Fjord, and Beau, or the more clearly goal-oriented Nott, even though everyone in the party engaged in some degree of chaos. By the end, though, Jester was one of the people pushing the party forward and that was a huge factor (as was the incredibly well-acted portrayal of how she got there).

I think the first step towards me liking her more was the first job the group did for the Gentleman in Siff Duthar’s study; that was the point where I feel the Nein truly gelled as a party such that even if there were members I wasn’t as invested in, I still cared about them in the context of the group. For Jester, specifically, after that, it was also her facade slowly crumbling over time. I think her actions caring for the drunk group in Hupperdook and her relationship with Kiri were a strong start, and then obviously the aftermath of the Iron Shepherds affected her - and for that matter Fjord - very deeply. Both of their slow, weird, messy breakdowns over the entire pirates arc, in Jester’s case punctuated by The Gentleman’s dismissal of her, culminating in the aftermath of the dragon fight, pushed her a little more to the forefront in my mind.

I don’t have strong thoughts on the Xhorhas arc (an arc I honestly need to revisit) but Jester’s response to Yasha being taken and her quiet internal growth, her tentative forays into letting the mask slip and expressing negative emotions, and her deliberate attempts to act more mature all made me like her much more throughout the entire Angel of Irons arc, even though one could argue she still was pretty chaotic (see: the downtime in Rexxentrum episode).

The post-hiatus arcs, though, are what made her one of my favorites by the end. I loved her during the entire Artagan reveal/Rumblecusp arc, in which she had to grapple with leadership and immense responsibility. Jester was defined throughout the campaign by a deep love for and loyalty towards her friends, but as a result even her starring moments were often as support (something something utility casters); the cupcake moment was ultimately for Veth. With Rumblecusp she had to deal with betrayal (she never saw Yasha’s departure in that light, even though it was a valid reading) and external expectations far harsher than those of the Nein or her mother, and even the much smaller but still very real experience of having someone just dislike her for no good reason. I know some people dislike the Rumblecusp arc but in many ways I see it as one of the strongest arcs of the show, particularly in terms of character moments and even more particularly for Jester’s character development.

Then comes the final part of the story - Eiselcross, the interlude back in the Empire/Nicodranas/The Plane of Fire, and Aeor. That whole experience is something of a meat grinder for everyone, and the clerics in particular are the ones who I think have the strongest sense of the stakes (Aeor is one of my favorite Caduceus arcs as well for that reason). Jester moves into that role of the doer that she first explored in Rumblecusp - but this time it’s not for the god she has been friends with her entire life, it’s for the fate of the world.

There’s a reason why there’s a throughline in Jester and Fjord’s conversations from very early on about just going away somewhere quiet, as the stakes grow higher and the story gets darker (starting with the conversation on the Mistake shortly after their kidnapping and Molly’s death, continuing through their conversation at the Kiln just after Yasha falls under control, and then in Eiselcross after Jester enters the circle and a little more in the Blooming Grove before their final return to Aeor). Jester always wanted to see the world, but she learns it’s much harsher than she expected, and I loved seeing her come to terms with that and trying to change it rather than trying to avoid it. In the lead-up to the final fight with Lucien, she’s dealing with something she does not expect to survive it but she not only does it anyway but is one of the people pushing the others forward. While the idea of self-sacrifice isn’t a particularly original one in D&D, for Jester specifically to go from where she started to that position is an incredible yet wholly believable journey.

#for bonus points ask me why jester and essek are great narrative foils #critical role #jester lavorre #my other hot takes related to this is that the bailinghams both are the best at showing subtle char change over time by a mile #which isn't a slight on anyone else - more an acknowledgment of a different way of portraying character change #also tbh taliesin is up there which also explains my percy opinions #so maybe not a mile. but like. a kilometer.

[readymades2002]

partiallystar replied to your post “scenemcbc: oh beaujes was bait after all huh ^_^ thanks very cool  ...”

omfg buzz i was STEAMING about it when i was watching it my twt feed was a MESS................... i dont have much to touch on that u havent already touched on here but god its the lesbophobia and racism and worst POSSIBLE way to say beau's moved on from those feelings (Which. Bullshit But Okay) in the world of it all

THERES LITERALLY SO MUCH and what’s frustrating is already seeing people having to go “well its their game they can do what they want i’m sad but fine with it ^_^” (bullshit it is a brand working on an amazon show and you know it, it stopped being a personal tabletop game ages ago, they know what they’re doing when they dangle bait) or “well im going to hope that this is a character thing and beau’s just lying because it doesn’t make sense otherwise” (which is right, it doesn’t make sense, but to do this you have to ignore cr’s entire history with hashtag Representation or even just with not caring abt romance being kind of forced--liam is pretty fucking bad at this lol--and all of the context, like what romances are being pushed and AGAIN the consistent mistreatment of beau pointing to Yes, It Doesn’t Make Sense, But It’s Happening Anyway) 

its just. everyone is grappling with it together in this single corner because time and time again its been proven that no one else is going to bother caring or is gonna treat it like a Ship War or whatever and its cr anyway and what was to be expected its just. SO disappointing! even ignoring all the baggage with saying beau was Just Lusting After Jester (an interpretation that beaujester fans have had to fight tooth and nail for MONTHS already) its SOOOOO...LIKE.......LIKE YOU SAID. BULLSHIT BUT OKAY if you don’t wanna rp this relationship anymore there are better ways to say it but you also STARTED with “yeah her feelings for jester are not comparable to anything she’s ever felt before”...that’s not in character that’s NOT drunken rp, that’s the statement on the character in the meta and if liam’s stupid fucking r*ylobait romance is treated as legit because he confirmed it on talks then why wouldn’t this be!!!!!!!!!!!!! scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its. HM! there’s a lot of pieces at play! it seems pretty clear that things were discussed over the break, playlists were released (which i could continue to chew liam out about but i will withhold it for now), men decided to push romances and beau is expected to step back 

beaujes hasn’t really been valued as legitimate by anyone but fans of it, i don’t think! the extent of acknowledging it in canon was done in a convo between nott and beau, which ended up in...nott constantly pushing fjord and jester fhfsds beauyasha is very good but it also feels very...Designated. like we are just pairing the two gay women together and have been from the beginning, so we can check it off the list. theyre wonderful but seeing something being Built over time only to become a condemned building is very fucking frustrating! it was never going to happen, like vax and gilmore just Wasn’t Gonna Happen. its not...a surprise that it got walked back but it is genuinely upsetting to see it done like this lol 

#partiallystar #SORRY THIS IS SO MANY LONG PARAGRAPHS FHJSS #long post - #ITS JUST..........................STEAMS #ALSO because i think it is also important i /am/ gay and i DO want jester to kiss girls more than i want to see her with men #like blah blah You Can Do With You Want With A Character sure i don't care lol!!! neither of the dude romances are interesting to me!!!

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E52

Once everyone starts turning into tieflings, you know it’s going to be a horny episode. I mean, seriously. There was way too much going on. Does this episode need sections? It needs sections.

Section 1: What did Caduceus Drink This Morning?

I have never seen Caduceus racking up so many points, in so many areas, so quickly. Isn’t this the same person who is supposed to not really understand the point of the hanky panky? Does he just accidentally have Big Flirt Energy? Inquiring minds need to know.

+5 to Fjord/Gluzo/Caduceus for the protracted grunting session. Apparently that’s the lingua franca of the City of Beasts. Explains a bit about the rest of the episode, come to think of it.

+1 to Caleb/Caduceus. Caduceus continues fulfilling his Mission of being the resident Caleb advocate, making sure any and all plans include a Protect Caleb Widogast clause. Unfortunately it’s hard for Caduceus to make good recommendations, considering it’s literally impossible for him to remember how Caleb’s magic works for more than five minutes at a time. Still, it’s the thought that counts, and his efforts did save Caleb from some rats #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress. Would have gotten points for trying to get alone time with Caleb to look for portals, but the universe decided it’s finally Caduceus’ turn to be cockblocked, and Nott and Jester got to hang out with Caleb instead.

+4 to Fjord/Caduceus. “I think you look just fine” and the absolute look of joy on Caduceus’ face as he described Fjord as “fun sized.” Just what kind of fun do you mean, Caduceus? Is that a dopey smile or do you know exactly how flirtatious you’re sounding? Also, I noticed this with the entrance to the tunnels and during the kobold encounter, but they have great chemistry as a Bullshitting Duo, which they turn v effectively on Sunbreaker here.

+10 to Sunbreaker/Caduceus Speaking of Sunbreaker…..what. The. Fuck. “That is beautiful by the way. I’ve never seen anything like it before,” he says. “Gorgeous,” he says. At first I thought, this could conceivably be Crafty Caduceus’ fixation on Well Done Blacksmithing, unintentionally applied to flirtatious ends. But then “I thought he winked at me” happened, and I knew it was intentional. I knew it. Caduceus flirting via extravagant compliments is back, folks.

Section 2: Sunbreaker, Heartbreaker

Speaking of Sunbreaker………another source of horniness for the episode. While everyone save Caleb (???) had a bit of a reaction to the man, here are some more standouts:

+12 to Nott/Sunbreaker. Nott has officially transferred all her thirst for whiskey into thirst for hot minotaur bod. His pecs aren’t fake like yours, Fjord! And Sunbreaker chuckled at her, and said he didn’t have a partner when she asked. It’s go time. Points taken away for how strongly Caleb disapproves of this relationship. But maybe that’s because he hasn’t gotten used to him yet. It’s always a process with kids

+5 to Fjord/Sunbreaker. You know the Drowning Victims really do have a lot in common, because Nott and Nott alone among all of the M9 made a stronger turned on face than Fjord at Sunbreaker upon seeing him. And then Fjord very strongly, very strangely advocated for following the guy around town “because he must be going to important places.” Fjord, that’s a one way ticket to a restraining order. You know better than this. Jester and Caleb do not approve.

Section 3: Genitals

Need I say more?

+1 to Molly/Caleb I did not actually know you could earn points from beyond the grave, but if anyone can do it, it’s Molly. His dick immortalized in Caleb’s photographic memory and recreated with an artist’s touch via spellwork. There’s some more commentary to be had here, but honestly I don’t want to touch it.

+30 to Beau/Jester. There are points to be earned for romance, and points to be earned from sexy. For the former, you can earn big with mutual “I love yous” while on the deck of a ship during a storm which also serves as a metaphor for gay emotional turbulence. The latter, you earn by displaying truly amazing, excessive interest in looking at the transforming genitalia of your partner.

+10 to Nott/Jester/The Plane of Pandemonium. Which is….fitting, for them.The way they describe the rift, the hand motions……..A+

+2 to Nott/Tiny Dicks It’s not the size of the dick, it’s how you use it that counts. And using it to get a good discount? Mmm.

Section 4: The Usual Suspects

-10 to Caleb/Gluzo. “How about when we get to the city, I just never see you again?” Damn, the OTP rose and fell spectacularly over just two episodes. Amazing. Obviously they had a falling out during the night. Either Caleb is bad in bed, or Gluzo is just adamant about one night stands remaining one night stands.

-2,000,000 Nott/Yeza. The higher you rise, the harder you fall. “50/50 my husband’s dead,” Nott says, nearly derailing her entire quest with no remorse so she can have an affair with a hot minotaur. Also nearly getting distracted from her goal by some tantalizing detective work dangled in front of her. Geez, good thing that favor with the Bright One was brought up.

+3 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester as they reassure Fjord of his handsomeness and the perfectness of his size. Well, Jester does anyway, saying “you’re very large,” and “it’s a very good size that you have,” while Caleb looks Fjord in the eye and shows off just how accurate a picture he has of how big Fjord is. Fjord decides he’d rather change the subject.

+1 to Jester/Yasha as Jester finally decides, 50+ episodes in, that it’s been long enough that Yasha won’t call her out for imitating her amazing goth look. And it is glorious.

+3 to Caleb/Jester because Caleb immediately decides he’s going to imitate Jester’s look. His absolute and pretty much unfounded faith in Jester’s negotiation skills. Caleb also gains a point by making extra certain Jester isn’t accidentally poisoning her dog with chocolate, even though Caleb is Not a Dog Person. Jester, meanwhile, gets on board with Caleb’s Cat Person energy by asking if the moorbounders can blep, because “that is the important thing.”

+5 to Beau/Yasha for the sheer disaster lesbian energy of Beau making a “You chasing tail?” pun and then immediately failing to look cool in the fight. Oh man. Oh man. If she’s lucky maybe Yasha getting poisoned muddled her brain up enough to make her forget that. Oh geez.

Section 5: Cat People, Dog People, Rat People

+4 to Caleb/Fjord because all Fjord ships are fundamentally based on banter, and there’s some good material here, ft Caleb saying “I did not cast comprehend languages, I do not know what that is,” to Fjord hinting they should duck somewhere for Caleb to re-cast his disguises, and again pretending not to be listening when Fjord starts hinting they should send his cat into danger. “My cat,” he says plaintively, but he does it anyway, for Fjord. Besides this, Fjord making up dumb little rhymes for Caleb like “How much time, keen mind?” and his absolute glee at seeing Caleb “Always Prepared” Widogast forced to admit he was taken off-guard by their shenanigans

+0 to Jester/Fjord because while all Fjord ships are based on banter, the dog is off-limits. Fjord sighs that he could not make Nugget into a killer, and dispatches the final demon-dog himself.

-100 Beau/Pets. This poor babe just does not have any luck. Did not get to keep the massive turtles, or the demon dogs, or the diseased rats. Didn’t even get the dismembering swamp cats. Someone, please. Give her an animal to love.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e52 #shipping calculus #widofjord #widojest #beaujester #clayleb #lavorregard #widofjorester #fjorester #beauyasha #yashajest #widomauk #fjorclay

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

It’s ME AGAIN FOR DAY 6 OF BEAU WEEK

writing another fic past 10pm because i love Jeau. It’s such a great ship.

Anyway Class Swap is an amazing concept all the time, and it got me thinking. What class to swap for Beau??? And then i was thinking Cleric and i thought of the good old ‘give ur partner a kiss to give them a healing spell’ and then i thought of lavorregard and i was like (:

so here you are. AO3 LINK

And below: 

Beau held out her hands, energy buzzing in the air around her before a bolt of radiant light shot from her fingertips, crashing into the torso of one of the giant crocodiles that she and the rest of the Nein were fighting.

They’d been hoping to get through this swamp without any major incidents, but perhaps she should’ve realised by now that hoping for something to not happen only made it far more likely. The gods had a sense of humour sometimes, and other times it seemed like they just wanted to see how many monsters they could throw at them.

A few feet away from her Caleb was frowning, flames gathering in one hand while the other moved through the air, directing the giant translucent cat’s paw that was pinning another giant crocodile to the ground while Yasha and Fjord tried to slice through it’s thick hide. Behind her Caduceus and Nott were keeping a third at bay, peppering it with crossbow bolts and insect bites, keeping it so frazzled it didn’t know where to look.

The crocodile Beau had hit with a guiding bolt shifted to look at her, teeth snapping menacingly before its head was knocked sharply to the side, a blue fist connecting with its snout, dangerously close to getting chomped off completely.

Jester followed the punch with a swift kick to the bottom of the head when the giant crocodile reared up to let out a guttural roar — or as much of a roar as a crocodile could manage — in an attempt to scare them back. But Jester wasn’t easily scared, and Beau wasn’t one to back down.

There was a determined grin on Jester’s face as she fought, twirling around in a flurry of kicks and spins that made her look like she was dancing. It was almost mesmerising to watch, and if they weren’t in the middle of a battle Beau would have paused to enjoy it.

Instead, she settled for catching glimpses, listening out for Jester’s triumphant laughs and cheers whenever she landed a good hit. Beau prepared another guiding bolt, carefully taking aim at the crocodiles head while he snapped around, trying to catch Jester, who never stayed still long enough for it to have a chance at hitting her.

But before she could let loose, there was a surprised cry from Fjord, quickly followed by a dull thud of a very thick giant crocodile tail slamming into their half-orc, sending him flying a good twenty feet through the air. Right into Caleb.

Caleb stumbled backwards to the ground, his cat’s paw dissipating in a flash, the crocodile thrashing about the swampy waters while Yasha tried to keep it handled by herself. One of Caleb’s arms moved backwards to try and break his fall, only managing to bump into Beau, throwing off her aim as she instinctively let loose the guiding bolt.

The divine energy arced into the air, slamming into a tree that hung above the crocodile she and Jester were fighting. Sparks flew, remnants of the energy zapping out in random directions as the branch snapped, Jester throwing her arms up to shield herself from any debris.

It was only a few seconds of chaos before Fjord could roll off of Caleb and both of them could get back into the fight, before Beau could regain her focus. But it was long enough for the crocodile Jester had previously been dancing around to see an opportunity, it’s maw enclosing around one of Jester’s legs without mercy.

“Jester!” Beau’s hands were moving, already reacting to her girlfriend’s cry of pain, muttering a frantic prayer to Ioun as she pulled out a pinch of sulfur from a pouch along her belt.

For a split second, everything was still, Jester gripping at her thigh as the crocodile began to try to shake her, to pull her to the ground where it would be able to finish her off.

Then the clouds above them seemed to part for a moment, the entire sky lighting up as if to emphasise what was about to happen, before a bright column of scorching yellow and white flames descended from the heavens, entering on a spot just to the side of the crocodile, catching its body within its blaze but leaving Jester just outside its range.

Every hair on Beau’s arm seemed to stand on end, a tingled of energy running down her spine as the flame strike utterly incinerated its target in a matter of seconds, leaving nothing behind but the blackened and scorched head, which Jester was able to pry off her leg like snapping a twig.

It was absolutely electrifying, an elated grin spreading across Beau’s face before her eyes immediately turned to Jester, racing up to her with only’s a quick glance over her shoulder confirm the others were handling themselves.

“Are you alright?” Beau stomped on the charred skull of the crocodile as she jogged up to Jester, who dusted off her monk vestments, a light sheen of sweat on her skin. She lifted her injured leg off the ground to keep weight off of it, but there was still a smile on her face, some hair falling loose from the braids she kept them in and falling in front of her eyes.

“Careful, you nearly hit me!” Her tone was playful, and Beau’s grin only widened. “That a new spell?”

“Something like that. Pretty badass, right?” Beau asked, gesturing proudly at herself. “Figured I’d take some pointers from Caleb and all his fireballs.”

She looked over at the others again to see both of the other crocodiles either dead or very close to dying, everyone catching their breath and taking some time to collect themselves. Beau looked back at Jester, automatically taking her hands while she glanced down at her leg, trying to ascertain how bad the injury was.

“So, are you going to heal me or what?” There was a twinkle in Jester’s eyes, her tail swaying behind her.

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s so bad, you can probably walk it off.” Beau shrugged loosely, not even trying to maintain a straight face when Jester gasped theatrically, pulling one of her hands out of Beau’s grasp to place it over her chest, as if deeply offended.

“Beau! That’s no way to treat your girlfriend~” She giggled after she said the word ‘girlfriend’, both of them still getting used to the relatively recent but long time coming upgrade to their relationship. Not that much had changed physically (although Beau could now be a lot more open in her staring at Jester’s muscles while she trained) but both of them still got a thrill from calling each other all the words for lover or girlfriend or partner they could think of.

“Perhaps you’re right.” Beau took Jester’s other hand again, leaning in and kissing her softly, gathering a healing spell to give her while she did it. She held the kiss for as long as it took for the spell to complete and perhaps a few seconds extra. If anyone asked she would say it was to make sure the spell had time to work. Really it was just because Jester was a very good kisser.

When they separated, Jester’s leg wasn’t quite fully healed, so Beau pressed another kiss and another spell to her forehead, brushing the hair out of her eyes when she did.

“How did I manage to get the best cleric in all of Wildemount to be my girlfriend?” Jester teased, sidling up alongside Beau as they turned to rejoin the others and decide what to do next.

“If I’m being honest, your abs is what really cinched it for me.” Beau deadpanned, taking the ensuing hip check with a laugh. “And of course, being the most adorable force of nature I’ve ever met.”

Jester stuck her tongue out at her, which really only reinforced the ‘adorable’ part of Beau’s statement, looping an arm around her waist and pulling in tight as they rejoined the others.

#beauweek2019 #lavorregard #beaujester #jeau #beauregard #jester lavorre #CLASS SWAP BABEY #SO MANY POSSIBILITIES