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cockatrice-writers-guild · 10 months

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Tear Stains

this takes place in the ride or die universe

warnings: swearing, emotional spiralling

word count: around 2.4k

taglist: @autism-alley , @awkwardgtace , @tripodcat-gt

I wake up to a dark room and the warm, plush surface I’m laying on tilting until I start sliding off of it. It takes me some time to place myself but the hills and grooves brushing beneath me place me in Jax’s palm. He must need to use the bathroom or something. As soon as I near the end of his palm, Jax tilts his hand further so I don’t fall off the edge, instead quickly sliding onto the noticeably colder pillow and sinking into it slightly.

That done, Jax slowly withdraws his hand and shakes the floor as he leaves the room as quietly as he can. I hug myself tighter and try to burrow into the massive pillow I’m on for warmth but eventually just sit up with a huff. I’ll wait for Jax to get back. He’s warm and soft and I’m cold.

I turn to watch the dark hallway he disappeared down and wait.

Some time passes.

Then more time.

Then some more.

I feel my brows start to crease with worry now, the silence near deafening as I start to wonder if he’s okay.

Time passes at a crawl.

I start to look around, trying to find the best place to climb down the bed when finally I hear the muffled sound of water running and feel the slight tension building in my shoulders dissipate.

The bathroom door cracks open once more, light spilling into the hallway and casting a long silhouette on the wall, the man in question standing there a long moment before he finally starts moving again, turning the light off and making his way back to the bed.

I watch him as he approaches, head down, his steps quiet and slow and uneven.

I frown.

“You ok?”

Jax freezes in his tracks, taking a moment too long to get his eyes off the floor to meet mine. "I...yeah. Why do you ask?"

I was going to comment on how long he took in the bathroom but as he raises his head slightly, the small amount of light in the room glints off of his cheeks for just a second and my eyes widen slightly. "Tear stains," is all I can say.

Jax’s eyes widen slightly too but a small smile quickly spreads on his face. “...oh. I...," he laughs nervously, reaching up and touching his face for a moment before wiping at his cheeks with the heel of his palm, "I guess I missed some."

I frown up at him but after he finishes wiping his hand on his pants, he just watches me in silence, his eyes unsure. I purse my lips and try opening my arms to him but he just shakes his head slightly, taking a seat beside the bed after a moment and hugging his knees to his chest instead.

Silence as we watch each other.

"…I'm sorry for waking you," he finally whispers but I just wave him off.

"What happened, big guy?"

He looks away for a long moment before answering. "…nightmare."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I...maybe not now."

"Okay."

Silence as we watch each other.

"...it's pretty early, honey. Do you want to go back to bed?" I pat the mattress next to me lightly for emphasis, trying to be light with him.

Jax just swallows and shakes his head again, his face sinking further into his pulled up knees as he does. "You should sleep, Mia. I...I can go lie down on the couch for now."

I frown at that. "You are not sleeping on the couch in your own house. I'll take the couch. You sleep here."

He shrinks away slightly. "…the bed's more comfortable, Mia. I want you to take it."

"If the bed's more comfortable, you should take it, big guy. You're stressed. You need the rest. I'll be fine on the couch, I promise."

His brows furrow slightly as he holds my gaze. "I...can just sleep on the floor?"

I feel my own brows shoot up at that. "Jax, I don't know why you think that I'd let you sleep on the fucking floor rather than the couch but no. If anything, I'll sleep on the floor. Watch me. Just take the damn bed."

"I...I can't move you right now anyways, you know? It's better if I slept somewhere else."

“I can climb down on my own. It’s fine.”

His mouth twitches for a moment, his brows creasing further. “You could fall.”

"God, Jax, if you’re that worried then you can just sleep on the bed with me like we always do. Problem solved. There's more than enough room for both of us even if you don't want to touch me."

"But I...I don’t want you to die, Mia." His words come out with a small sob, the semi neutral expression Jax put on finally shattering as he breaks down.

I'm up in an instant, moving to slide down the pillow as he untangles himself slightly and lays his head down on the mattress to cry. He watches my approach through tear filled eyes, shaking his head repeatedly until I stop.

“What?”

It takes a second for him to form the words. “…don’t. P…please.”

“Why?”

Another sob racks through him. “…you…you’ll die.”

“I won’t die.” I take a slow step towards him, holding my hands up. “See?”

Jax’s breaths spike for a second but he makes no move to stop me.

I take another experimental step forward and Jax continues to watch me quietly. “I’m okay.”

Another step, another assurance.

“I’m okay.” Step.

“I’m fine.” Step.

“I promise I’m fine.” Step.

“…Mia.” The whispered plea washes over me and I pause.

“Yeah?”

He blinks at me, a small lake of water streaming down the side of his face as he does. “I-,” another sob. “I’m dangerous.”

“You spent like five minutes earlier trying to slide me off your hand as gently as possible so you wouldn’t wake me. So you could go cry in the goddamn bathroom for who knows how long so you wouldn’t worry me. I am not taking that ‘I’m dangerous’ bullshit from you.”

Jax blinks again but doesn’t say anything more.

And so I keep moving until finally I can brush my fingers against his forehead.

I slowly start to run a hand up and down the skin as I try to soothe him. "See, I'm okay. I'm okay. I promise I'm okay." A shudder runs through him and I brace myself against him for a moment before I continue, eventually leaning in to plant a small kiss on his head.

"I...I don't want to hurt you, Mia," he eventually whispers back.

"Then you won't."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry."

"...for what?"

"I'm sorry."

"You haven't done anything to me. Jax I promise I-" I stop when I hear that Jax repeat himself again and again and again, tripping over his words at times as his quiet apologies fill the air and I try to hold onto him more tightly. And finally I feel the skin beneath my hands start to move almost…inward as the man starts to shrink. I bite back a tired sigh, feeling him start to slump into me as his legs leave the floor. I brace myself, leaning backwards and pulling him with me so that he lands on top of me instead of falling to the ground and for a moment I'm completely pinned under his weight, the slight rise and fall of his chest pressing into me, his shallow breaths and continued stream of apologies brushing against my neck.

His eyes are glassy.

Distant.

I take a moment to collect myself before I try to push him off of me as gently as I can, rolling away the moment I’m free to get my bearings before I turn to him again.

Jax is sprawled out now, staring up at the ceiling as he continues to whisper and tears slowly stream down the sides of his face.

I walk over to him and crouch down, collecting my thoughts for a moment before I just reach out and lightly tap his cheek.

"Jax."

Surprisingly he pauses, his grey eyes flicking to look at me again.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"Jax."

"I-"

"Shut up. Look at me."

Jax blinks at me but luckily he doesn't say anything else.

"Are you looking at me?"

A slight nod on his end.

"Good. Can you sit up?"

I offer a hand and Jax just stares at it for a long moment, his shallow breaths filling the air before he slowly starts to get up. And once he's up, he pulls his legs together to sit crossed legged in front of me, hands clasped to his lap as he stares down at the bed.

"...can I touch you?"

A swallow. Then finally a small nod.

I nod back before leaning forward, cupping one of his cheeks in my hand for a moment before I start wiping away at his tears. And once that's done, I cup his other cheek too and gently tilt his head up so he meets my gaze again, squishing his face slightly to try and ground him.

"I'm fine, honey. I promise, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry."

"If you're sorry then what am I?"

Jax's eyes widen slightly at that and a small, surprised laugh escapes him.

I knead at his cheeks with my fingers and finally he blinks a few times like he's trying to clear his vision. His irises start to dart around and his breaths finally start to slow. I feel the motion of him clenching and unclenching his jaw a few times and use my thumbs to wipe at his tears again.

I give him some time to look around before I speak.

"Where are you right now, Jax?"

"I...I'm...this is...my bed, right?"

I nod. "How many fingers do you have currently?"

"...huh?"

"Just answer."

"I...ten...last I...I checked anyway."

"Okay."

I squish his cheeks for a moment before pulling away to sit down in front of him. "Are you looking at me?"

He swallows again. Sniffs. "...yeah."

I reach over to him. "Here. Give me your hand."

Jax complies after a moment, placing his hand on top of mine and then looking up at me expectantly.

I lace my fingers through his and squeeze his hand. And after some silence he squeezes back.

"Jax."

"...Mia?"

"You might notice that I'm still completely fine despite being in your presence."

Jax looks away at that, though he keeps his hand in mine.

"It was a dream. A horrible dream, I can imagine but it wasn’t real."

"...but-"

"But the government's been fucking with your head since you were a baby. They're so scared of you that they made you scared of yourself. You understand that, right?"

"...yeah but-"

"But you're not some kind of evil monster that needs to be locked away. You're not whatever horrible thing your brain concocted from all the lies you've been fed. You're Jax. You're a person. You're my friend."

"But I..."

I frown and start pulling his hand towards me, the movement causing Jax to finally fucking look at me again. "Yeah?" I prompt.

He tries to regather his thoughts even as he watches me, visibly puzzled as I start spreading out his fingers. "I...I'm not..."

"Uh huh," I prompt again, grabbing onto his index finger and leaning towards it.

"I'm...they say I'm...” he trails off for a few seconds. “…what...what are you doing?"

"Ignore me. Finish your sentence."

"I..."

I wait patiently and Jax finally drops his gaze again.

"I'm a monster, Mia. I’m not-"

Jax's words cut off as a small, surprised shriek escapes him, this being caused by the pain of my teeth biting down on his hand.

Jax pulls his hand away and holds it to his chest, staring at me wide-eyed. "You bit me."

"I...I did, yeah."

"You…you bit me." He's starting to sound and look more visibly upset as he repeats himself and now I find myself starting to backpedal as I try to diffuse the situation.

"I...I'm sorry, I-"

"You BIT ME," he full on wails before starting to sob again.

"Oh, honey I-" cut myself off as I instead lean forward and wrap my arms around him, squeezing him tightly as another big sob shakes through him. And almost immediately, he wraps his arms around me too, pulling me closer and burying his face in my shoulder.

"YOU BIT ME ," he cries again between sobs.

"I…I’M SORRY I-"

"WHY," another sob, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"FUCK MAN, I WAS TRYING TO PROVE A POINT!"

"WHAT POINT COULD YOU P-" another sob, "-POSSIBLY PROVE BY BITING ME?"

"Get fucked."

Jax snorts at that, choking on his own sob for a moment before he starts to giggle into my shirt, his laughter getting interrupted every now and then by another sob and soon I find myself laughing a little too.

"…my point, Jax, is that if you dehumanize yourself ever again, I am literally going to kill you. How's that?"

"There's," he wheezes into me for a moment, "better ways to prove that, Mia!"

"Well, I was also getting frustrated so-" I shrug.

He coughs between chuckles for a second. "…yeah."

And as his laughter finally starts to taper off, he leans away from me for a moment before pressing his forehead to mine, the small vibrations of slowly dying giggles shaking through both of us as we sit there.

I rub my head against his and he does the same, the rooms finally fading to silence besides Jax's breathing and mine.

He eventually starts humming to fill the silence and so after letting him get through an annoying ad jingle or two, I finally speak.

"So?"

"How’re you feeling?"

"Bad."

"Mmm, yeah that makes sense."

"Yeah."

"Some rest might do you good."

"…mmm."

We untangle ourselves after a moment and Jax moves to a spot farther away from the edge before he lies down and I follow suit, getting more comfortable beside him before I wrap my arms around him again and he does the same.

I reach up to brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes. "...you know there's enough room on this bed for a certain giant I know."

He looks away for a second before turning back to me. "...tomorrow. I promise."

I wipe some stray tears out of his eyes and feel him lean into the touch slightly. "…okay."

#SORRY FOR NOT POSTING I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH IT #Anyway This #jax and mia #ride or die verse #ocs #the rooster crows #thanks for reading!

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sunflower-butch · 1 year

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Silly little WIP posting at 2:30 am when no one will see it is so fun

Anyway, ghost au. This one is low priority, but it’s a fun concept I think

Steve and Nancy move to Boston together. It’s a totally platonic situation, it’s just easier financially, Nancy is going to school, and it gives Steve an escape from his family.

They get an apartment and notices that something is Off. The lights flicker, things often fall over at random, stairs and doors creak at night, the usual creepy old apartment stuff.

Well, Steve decides the apartment must be haunted. Nancy thinks he’s stupid. He proceeds to leave offerings for the ghost. Cookies on the counter, little trinkets on the shelves, etc. The trinkets disappear, but the food never does. Once, he leaves a paper and pen, and the ghost actually writes something.

Nancy insists it was from his last one night stand and that he’s making shit up.

After a whole semester of this, Steve decides to take a trip for the break. (Steve enters his eat pray love arc). Nancy is left alone in the apartment and… The weird happenings don’t stop? In fact, they get worse. Nancy finally starts to believe that something is happening.

She impulsively buys a Ouija board and uses it to communicate with the ghost. At first, it refuses—it downright throws the triangle thing. However, after a lot of coaxing she finally gets a name.

Robin.

It’s difficult communicating at first, but the more Nancy finds out, the more clearly she can see Robin. She finds old papers tucked in a closet, drawings taped under the mattress, abandoned objects throughout, and she slowly pieces together who Robin was. Eventually she can see and hear Robin and they’re able to converse—Nancy discovers that Robin was killed but doesn’t know what happened, and Nancy enters her paranormal investigator arc.

When they have downtime, Nancy and Robin actually end up growing closer. They talk about life, Robin helps Nancy with homework, they watch TV together (and Nancy gets annoyed when Robin uses her ghostly powers to change the channel without permission)

The truly unfortunate thing is that you can’t bring someone back from death. Nancy spends weeks building Robin’s life from scraps, but she can’t restore it to the girl. They start to solve the mystery, and Robin begins to realize that the unfinished business that tethered her to this world?

It’s almost finished. She’s beginning to fade. It’s harder to speak, harder to move objects.

They realize they have two options—solve the mystery and let Robin go, or leave the crime unresolved, so that Robin can stay. Robin leaves it up to Nancy.

Nancy is left to wonder. Is loving a ghost really worth the pain? Is she willing to say goodbye so that Robin can finally rest?

#anyway this #is inspired by the saddest play I’ve ever watched #it was put on by my high school senior year and it was so good but so sad #I think in the end the new resident of the apartment slowly forgot the ghosts #and it broke me #this is an angsty one y’all #lo’s WIPs #ronance #Robin Buckley #Nancy Wheeler #robin x nancy #nancy x robin

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aaronstveit · 3 months

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"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious

#'if i was orpheus i would simply' shut the fuck up #anyway #personal post #hit post

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vamprisms · 4 months

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adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy

#it's the guilt of not having done 4 million things you need to do first yet. which you dont do anyway

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fattylime · 10 months

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a study i did because i realized idk how to draw environments at all LMAO

a few people have asked, so this is a now a print <3

#was gonna fill the space a lot more #but i got laaazy #i was fighting trying to make that brush in perspective #anyways impressionism is my friend #illustration #fattylime #digital art #digital illustration #art study #lime made art

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james-p-sullivan · 3 months

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the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????

i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.

so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.

#anyway it’s still a couple years away #but man im so fucking excited for my 30s!!!!!!!!!#i made it!!!#i survived!!!#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30 #im gonna enjoy every fucking second of it!#sulley speaks #sorry my coworker said something really rude to me lol #it struck a nerve

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isawiitch · 9 months

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ok NOW we can all freak out marvel vfx workers voted to unionize thank god

article here

#union #!#anyway.#do i dare tag #marvel #still have to wait for marvel/disney to legally recognize and accept/negotiate with them but... good.

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carouselcometh · 5 months

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Devastating! Art museum gift shop doesn’t sell prints of specific and unpopular painting that struck a cord with you!

#Anyways :) I had a good day guess what popular painting I love that I saw and guess what I saw a new painting I really liked today :)

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zmpl · 2 months

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also what is with people tossing out support for nonbinary people when the nonbinary person is a celebrity. as soon as demi lovato changed their pronouns from they/them to they/she everyone, including supposed allies of the community, IMMEDIATELY dropped the “they” part of “they/she” and started referring to them as a woman again. then when “unholy” by sam smith and kim petras won a grammy people talked about how kim petras (just her) made trans history by being the first trans person to win a grammy. and yes this is something to be celebrated, but is sam smith not also trans by virtue of being nonbinary? did they not also make history? or do you not see them as nonbinary because they’re amab and not feminine enough to cross the man threshold for you? and yes nonbinary celebrities are not going to see you referring to them as if they were cis but your trans acquaintances sure as fuck are

#anyway. many such cases

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tainbocuailnge · 2 months

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honestly christianity really hit the jackpot with "jesus christ" rolling off the tongue as an expletive so well. the number one problem with fantasy settings is that whatever names you come up with to take in vain will never hit as well as "jesus christ"

#anyway i love cuchulainn

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liquidstar · 6 months

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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

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