#anenome’s post 🪼

[day-heron]

It makes me sad to see how widespread the “am I faking it?” doubt is in plural communities. Obviously there’s the go to rebuke of “you can’t fake something on accident,” but I also think the issue goes deeper than that. Something that I had to learn years ago (and I think this is related) is that just because your identity changes doesn’t mean you were wrong before.

This applies to basically anything. It means giving yourself grace and knowing that you were doing your best with the perspective that you had. It means letting yourself grow and change. To some degree, it means trusting your past self to define their experiences, even if it’s not how you would go about it now. In my experience, it means taking a step back from the narratives that tell us things like gender and sexuality are innate from birth and that there’s One True Identity you just need to uncover.

Once you stop worrying that you might be faking, you can look at “is this identity / paradigm helping or hurting me?” Which is still a tough question! But it’s a more helpful question, and it’s much less likely to immobilize you with shame.

#anenome’s post 🪼 #our post #plural system #sysblr #dissociative system #system tag #plural positivity #actually plural #plural help #plural community #system help #endo safe #actually system

[day-heron]

Yesterday I saw a post about NPCs and went “oh we don’t have any of thos— WAIT A MINUTE”

I’d completely forgotten that a few months ago we purposely created 2 large lobsters that aren’t sentient and just sorta scuttle around. And we’d make it so we could feel their presence walking next to us irl 😭 (don’t ask how, pure willpower of silliness) How did I forgor about them…

Anyway that’s the story behind this userbox:

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[day-heron]

Feminists fought very hard for the legal protections of marriage and you want to get rid of that? What is your plan for stay at home mothers who don't have much money and everything is on their husband's name then? There's a reason why misogynists are so against marriage nowadays - it makes it much easier for them to control the woman because if she leaves she doesn't get shit.

I get that marriage, in some instances, offers legal protections to women who would otherwise be at more risk. The legal ties of marriage can also make it more difficult for somebody to leave an abusive relationship. To be clear, what I’m envisioning is a world where the legal institution of marriage is not something that is needed, because the benefits of it (financial security, access to healthcare, etc.) are afforded to everyone in the first place. My hope is not that stay at home mothers would be forced to further rely on their husbands’ money, but that stay at home mothers would have community support that goes beyond any partner they may or may not have. Marriage strongly incentivizes people to conform to the nuclear family model, which divides and isolates us. But I’m not advocating to get rid of marriage tomorrow without putting any safety nets into place.

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[day-heron]

Found a website called Future Me where you can write emails that get sent to you at a specified future date. I think it’s neat :} I wrote one to us when we’re 21, one for 4 years in the future, and one to come later this month as a reminder notification :P

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[day-heron]

I didn’t realize it was ace week last week!!! But I… did realize I’m ace during that time. so I guess I celebrated in a way lol

#anenome’s post 🪼 #our post

[day-heron]

Has anyone had success orienting members to the present re: gender affirming surgery? We’ve got a guy who still gets phantom boob (unpleasant experience for them) even though we’ve had top surgery, and it just occurred to me we might be able to do something about that.

I’m sure we can figure it out, just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience :}

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