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paper-mario-wiki · 1 year

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I don't know if you've talked about this elsewhere already but was the break from streaming intentional and/or are you planning on returning to streaming some time in the foreseeable future? no pressure, I just miss your silly antics :o)

felt very burnt out from being someone who people are always lookin at all the time mostly! (and also a lot more reasons)

got a new job that pays just as well as streaming (which is enough to pay for rent in seattle with roommates, buy food for myself, and sometimes buy yet another japanese gamecube via online auction), and have been enjoying the feeling of not relying on anonymous teenagers and young adults who are just as poor as me on the internet for my income. It's something i was extremely grateful for, but it's not only a very infirm way to generate revenue on a reliable basis, but also i always felt an ever-present sense of guilt for it. like, instilling within other people who i know are in my tax bracket (one that is below the poverty line) the idea of "hey if you dont tip me for doing this free service, the quality of which is damningly subjective, I will be homeless. but no pressure haha" is something that i was never able to shake.

also like. performing is quite draining for me! the way i portray myself in my streams is EXTREMELY extroverted while, in my personal life, i prefer to spend 8 to 14 of my waking hours every day by myself in my room with my dog. i like the quiet, and i feel at peace most when i am not being perceived by other people.

lastly, i really dislike having inordinate levels of social power. for a several reasons. like, SEVERAL reasons. this is the longest section of this post.

8 years ago, i got way more famous than any 16 year old should ever be when i got tens of thousands of followers overnight for doing undertale shit. and i think it really fucked up my ability to make friends at a time where my only experience meeting new people was at school or at church, and i lived far enough out in the woods that i couldnt just go outside and hang out with the neighbors cuz the neighbors lived a mile away. my socializing skills in general are way more stilted than i'd prefer for someone my age. in private settings ive got my foot in my mouth a lot. and sometimes in public settings too! im sure if youve seen streams ive been on, youve seen plenty of "chase you really shouldnt have said that" moments. and youre probably right, i probably shouldnt have! my moment-to-moment gauge for what i should and shouldnt say is very slow to catch up cuz ive got like. advanced mental illnesses. like, im not joking when i say ive been formally diagnosed several times over by different doctors with shit ive never heard anybody ever talk about, online or otherwise.

i dont think that's an excuse to say heinous or cruel things by any means of course, but i also think that i should not rely on a job where there's constantly a microphone in my hand and an audience listening intently to what i say. im not at all pulling the "its okay that i say mean things because im mentawy iww" card. as a matter of fact i think it's not okay that i say them! and i feel very embarrassed when i do! the filter that separates "normal healthy thoughts" and "intrusive unhealthy thoughts" is thinner and more flimsy in my brain than in others.

ive only gotten this far because i surround myself with very smart, patient, and kind people, and by trying to be understanding and patient with others too. and ive begun apologizing to people a lot more. i dont like it when people are mad at me, and i dont like that for a long time i had professionally painted myself into a corner where im typically always the "heel" in comedy settings, because the "heel" is the guy everyone shits on all the time. i got this reputation not because i actively enjoy being mean, but because i learned to adapt to the aforementioned "clinically unreliable intrusive thoughts filter" by realizing i would say things that came across as mean, and in real time exaggerating that it into a character that people could shoot back at without feeling guilty while still having fun. theres nothing that ruins a good time quite like someone who is constantly apologizing for doing something wrong, and then continuing to do that wrong thing anyway. dont misunderstand, i absolutely adore dunking on weenies when everyone can get a good laugh out of it (like tumblr anons, who i think should be classified as prokariyotic invertebrates and not people (no offense)) but even though it's a joke it still feels very bad when that's expected of me when i walk into a room. because if i walk into a room, and everyone expects me to be an asshole, everyone is on the defensive before i say anything, and sometimes they take shots at me when im not trying to "play". even worse, if im a heel in a setting where it's expected of me and someone cant really keep up with "the bit" then that just means im being an asshole to someone who cant or doesnt have the energy to fight back. and not just any asshole, an asshole who has had nearly a decade of professional experience being a paid asshole.

if im being frank, i dont know if i'll come back in a full capacity. i might! im not ruling that out! and you'll probably still see me pop up in my friends streams, because i did LOVE what i did for a very long time! but after i took my "break" in december after being more stressed than ive ever been, and i knew it was no longer financially necessary for me to livestream, i had the thought "i will go back to streaming when i find within myself a desire to do so" and ya know what? i havent yet.

and DO NOT FUCKING BOTHER MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS. if you post a fucking "hey have u heard what chase said" message in their chat or in their DMs or anything, im not joking when i say you are actively being the kind of person i changed my career to avoid! fuck you, for real! stop trying to interface with them to get some new piece of information or opinion about me you fucking weirdo! they'll talk about me if they want to, but going to someone who is doing their own thing and asking them to instead comment on someone else it is ALWAYS fucking annoying. if you want to think about me, do it by yourself! or ask me directly! or do it in the comment section of a video im in! or write a fanfiction about me and then throw it away!

but if ur not that kind of person then ur cool dont worry.

anywho! im sorry if this is a bummer to read. but that's the full skinny.

im still posting regularly on twitter (clown_depot)! and if i DO go live, either on my twitch channel or on a friend's stream, it will be posted there!

thanks for watching :^]

im not goin radio silent, im just gonna turn off the electric window that lets people see me for a while.

#the man with no face

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bulletsgirl · 5 months

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I thought i was done with talking about my chemical romance fandoms crazy gender essentialism and transmisogyny and misogyny in general but i have one more thing. actually two. because i have yet to discuss why this is so personal to me.

number one: i really, really hope you people don’t talk to trans women like that in real life.

number two and in relation to that: the way people (you know who they are, or you don’t, in which case consider this a general statement.) are about trans people, trans women specifically i should say, and have been talking about trans people on here in general, has been deeply concerning to me because what they’re doing has happened to me.

when someone is dealing with their gender identity, you dont just tell them what they are. You can make it a safe place for someone to come out WHEN THEY ARE READY just by being openly supportive and in arms with transness and the transgender community. unless a person is going through immense obvious suffering and cannot understand why that’s the case you should NOT fucking walk up to people and just tell them what they are because 1 you are not them and therefore can’t be sure 2 that isn’t your place and 3 everyone deserves to be able to figure out to what extent they would like to address their gender dysphoria and what their desired timeline for doing so is.

you can say IF THE SITUATION CALLS FOR IT “hey, it seems like you might be struggling with issues related to gender. have you heard of transgender people? if so, do you feel like addressing your problems through this lens might help alleviate your suffering?” <- or similar. of course, i figured this should be obvious to trans people, who typically (bar conservative “transmedicalists” who make for an entirely different conversation that i don’t want to have) know exactly how harmful the inherent association of physiological and sociological traits in human beings with gender identity (and, by extension, gender dysphoria) is.

but really just making sure a person knows it’s cool and awesome and most of all OKAY to be transgender openly if they want to is the most important. you don’t do this by telling them who they are but by exhibiting public love for and solidarity with trans people. it’s always supposed to be on their terms, not yours. if you realized you were gay or trans because someone told you you were, that’s okay. i’m ecstatic that you were able to discover that about yourself and i’m glad it did you more good than harm. but almost never does the situation call for that; as you should know, you are not the transgender monolith; there is no monolith; there is no straightforward path.

there is only support and solidarity, which is not the same as declaring that someone is x when they themselves have not clarified it or rather need drastic intervention for their mental wellbeing and are genuinely blatantly clueless. i promise you most people struggling with gender identity aren’t clueless and know they’re uncomfortable with the box they’ve been put in, so don’t feel like you should just go ahead and pick a different box.

now on the personal side: it was really harmful for me when someone who wasn’t even transmasc told me i was a transgender man and that i should just accept that. my gender identity was more complex than that and i was addressing it on my own terms at the time internally because it wasn’t the business of others. publicly, i told people i was okay with using any pronouns and i disclosed the name i went by, as well as telling people i felt kinship with transness, but that was it. (if you’re reading this as someone that is aware of the celebrity-stranger central to the discussion at hand, you may be familiar with their own similar public disclosures.)

the way that maleness was foisted onto me by (well meaning) others made me collapse in on myself. they used he/him pronouns for me and barraged me with questions about my comfort with she/they/etc, as if i did not know better than them.

in the end, i just wasn’t good at being a man. pursuing maleness made me feel worse about myself because it was incongruent with my internal experience. not always, of course, because i am mostly a masculine/gnc person, but there were key aspects of being a trans man i exhibited because people told me i was one that made me uncomfortable, and i, just wanting relief, chose to pursue that angle seeing as it was other members of the lgbt community that pointed me there. im from a small town in the bible belt deep south and i’d never seen the world, because my family was poor and conservative and there was nothing for them otherwise. my new college friends were from big cities and had seen much more of the world than i had.

in truth, i should have been allowed to figure it out as i would have liked to. these people were aware that i knew about transgenderism and related to it, and i had told them what pronouns i wanted them to use, but they continued to apply pressure onto me. to this day, years later, i am devastated that i was robbed of my path to self discovery as it might have come about naturally. i would have made some choices the exact same, such as hrt and top surgery, but the emotional gravity of what i experienced will always stay with me, and the insecurities that came with it are still being shaken off.

this is my personal experience, but i know other people have felt similar pressure to conform to what they’ve been identified as by outsiders who were flat out transvestigating them.

i’m trans; i love being trans; i love my transgender brothers and sisters, i love trans men and women, and i love gnc people and the nonbinary identity, which has more or less fit like a glove and allowed for self expression that has ultimately been the most comfortable for me.

i am not saying i am going to be the leading example of all trans people, but i am an example of the consequences of these kinds of invasive claims.

if you’ve made the conversation at hand a “we the gerard way transgender believers and knowers vs the deniers who claim gerard is male” you have lost, because that is not what people believe. I would say most of us are very comfortable associating gerard with transness because they themself have expressed kinship and solidarity with us.

i hope if you took the time to read this you take all i say in good faith and understand why this conversation has hit home for me so personally. i hope you were able to understand why i am so distressed by those standing on a soapbox preaching harmful rhetoric and practices. and i hope that people who have engaged in said practices perhaps discover that they are hurting a lot of trans people, out or not, and i hope that they express love for out trans women more than pursue what they appear to believe are “closet cases” or “flagging”. i hope we all learn from this as a community online and choose to engage only with gerard’s gender to the extent that they’ve verbally signaled they are comfortable with, which includes not assigning them labels, whether that be female, male, trans woman, cisgender, or otherwise, and at least when talking about them seriously, using their pronouns (no, i don’t think you lovingly calling gerard your girlfriend is the crime here. it’s why you do it that’s the issue; you aren’t doing it with solely affection but rather with a motive as well.)

just let them, as well as other people, especially those you might encounter in your day to day life, be themselves without argument or unnecessary investigation. just leave people alone about their gender identity, please.

#that’s all.

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robinismywifee · 1 year

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straight girl || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary maria sends a straight girl with a boyfriend and ellie williams, a gay girl with a girlfriend, to go on a trip together but an unexpected storm traps them in a cabin. takes place in jackson, one bed trope? 19 y/o ellie, no spoilers, 3rd person pov, ellie has a crush on oc

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), scissoring?, pet names (babe, good girl), cheating, slight masturbation??

a/n be aware that aime is an oc and dont feel insecure or anything if she looks nothing like you, youre literally beautiful trust me, also you can always find my oneshots on my wattpad, also feel free to request stories 💕

wordcount 5.8k

ellie has always felt different towards aime. ever since she was 14, right when she first layed her eyes on her, she never took them off.

how she always walked around with a hudge smile on her face, her smile was so perfect, and her uneven white teeth only made it more perfect

when they first met, she had a soft pitch voice, and had soft features, making her face look so innocent and adorable, but as the years went on, her voice got deeper and more raspy, making her more captivating and euphonic, she still had softer features, but they almost shifted in a way to make her more elegant

along with her face and voice changing over the years, ellie noticed her body changed too, she grew more curves, her stomach always layed flat but her breasts were full, and from what you could see when she wore her laced tanktops she loved, they sat perfectly too..

something about her and her sandy blonde hair was just so alluring to ellie.

ellie wouldnt say she had a crush on her, the only time they would talk was during patrol, exchanging simple words and short sentences, or if they walked by, aime would make sure to smile at her and wave, but they never failed to make ellies mind freak out—

am i talking too much? is my hair okay? shit she looks so fucking hot. how do i make her laugh without making it seem like im trying too hard? what? did she just complement me? holy shit i think im gonna pass out. how can someone look so goddamn hot while doing literally anything?

—are typical things ellies mind would be yelling.

aime was well known around jackson, well known for being pretty, nice, happy, and hardworking

her looks never failed to amaze people, practically all the teenagers of jackson has asked her out, and she was really nice, if she knew your name and if you werent rude to her or other people (who dont deserve it), she would make sure to smile at you walking by, which is why anytime she saw ellie, she would give a warm smile, she also liked complimenting people, seeing there faces brighten up from a simple comment made her face brighten up, and all her compliments were always genuine, she would never lie and say she liked a shirt on someone if she didnt, which is also why she would compliment ellie, ellie was easy to compliment, she was so beautiful and nobody talked about her enough- plus ellies reaction everytime made aimes face yank a big smile, ellie would always get blushed cheeks and flustered

aime only ever did hard and dangerous work, she did patrols a lot, keeping the bad away from her people, and she was talented on trips, if for any reason she got kicked out of jackson, she would survive. she had great agility, knowledge, it wasnt her thing but she knew how to track and hunt, she scavenged better then others, she wasnt the strongest, but she definitely knew how to win a fight, usuing her smaller size to her advantage. she was smart, and she was genuinely a happy person.

"i know aime is like, really good with trips, ive gone on them with her before, but just the two of us? i mean seriously?" ellie complained to dina, "i don't get why your angry, shes a nice girl and shes a good person to go on a trip with" dina shurgged, dina and aime were actually good friends, not close per say, but they hung out when they could, if aime didnt constantly drown herself in work she would have more time for friends and dina, but for the past two months it was either work or daniel

ellie stayed silence at dinas remark, so dina continued, "you know.. before her and daniel started dating, you liked her, always coming home from those patrols ranting to me about how she complimented you and was super hot as she killed an infected, but now that shes dating him you hate her? why?"

this caused ellie to stop packing her bag and look up to dina, "dina, her dating some random guy i dont know has nothing to do with this! i just dont want to go on a whole ass trip alone with her, its gonna be awkward!" ellie defended, but they both knew that wasnt why ellie was so mad, "the trip youve known about for 2 days? really? thats weird, considering you've been mad and annoyed at her for the past 2 months"

"its just- you and her use to go on those 'friend dates' or whatever you weirdos call it, like every month, and now that she has a boyfriend she cant make room for you? or any other of her friends? like, if you walk by her, shes with her stupid boyfriend, holding hands and giggling like, what can he say to make you laugh like that? probably some stupid joke that isnt even funny, i dont even get why she likes him, hes ugly with his ugly hair and he's completely useless, he does nothing and he probably isnt even dating her for her!" ellie ranted, throwing things into her bag for the trip

dina laughed.

ellies head shot up to her, "what? why are you laughing? you asked!" ellie said frustrated, "you're totally jealous, arent you?" dina smirked, "what? jealous? dina shut up! you know im dating cat!" ellie said, growing more and more frustrated by the minute

"okay yeah, but you have liked aime for wayyyy longer then cat" dina remarked, "i dont like aime! i just think shes hot, and literally everyone else with eyes thinks that so shut it" ellie groaned, zipping her bag and running out of her door, dina laughed some more, "wait up!" she said through her laughs

the sound of the horses feet clacking on the ground filled the empty forest.

"so howd you sleep?" aime asked, trying to spark a conversation. they had just left, and it was awkward between the two. ellie had been avoiding aime- for the past 2 months- changing patrol partners and running behind corners when she saw her to prevent that spark she felt in her stomach when she smiled at her

"fine" ellie mumbled, "oh, well, better then bad" aime remarked, "mhm" ellie hummed dryly, they rode their horses side by side in silence for a little, "i havent spoken to you in awhile, how's your life been?" aime asked, looking over to the girl, "the same" ellie said, looking down at the horses mane, aime looked away from ellie, down to her horses mane, trying to think of ways to get her ranting like how she use to to her

"can you tell me more about astronomy?" aime asked, thinking back to how she told her about it a few months ago, "uh.. why?" ellie said blankly, "sorry.. just thought you liked that stuff, and its fun to talk about stuff you like, you know?" aime explained, cheeks red embarrassed

aime was confused of why ellie was acting so different from usual, usually ellie would be cracking jokes and puns, telling funny stories, ranting about things she liked.. and ellie did seem to disappear for awhile, did she do something wrong? i mean, ellie wasnt even looking at her, it wasnt weird for ellie to avoid eye contact, she actually did that alot, but she wouldnt even glance in her direction.

while aime was trying to figure it out, ellies mind kept on repeating over and over and over again, aime and daniel stupid kissing and 'i love yous' right before they left.

"hey ellie" aime said, first time speaking in at least 2 hours, "hm?" ellie hummed, "did i do something wrong? because im really sorry if i did, but could you tell what it is that i did? i would never do anything wrong to hurt you on purpose, ever, in my whole life, and i sorta just spent however long we've been out trying to figure it out and i cant" aime ranted, which was sorta out of charater for aime, and aime apologizing for something that isnt her fault made ellie finally look over at her with sad eyes

it wasnt aimes fault that she felt like this, it was her own fault for letting something so small get to her, and she just wasted hours of aimes time for her to try and figure it out. thats what ellie though, and it made her feel like shit.

aime was suprised ellie was looking at her, and confused of ellies emotion displayed on her face- it looked like guilt.

"you didn't do anything aime, dont be sorry, im just tired" ellie said to her, hoping aime would believe she was just tired, but aime didnt believe that it was that, somethings going on

"hey, theres the cabin tommy was talking about, like a few miles up ahead, should we take a rest and eat there?" aime asked ellie, looking down at the map unfolded out infront of her while still riding the horse

"yeah, its getting dark" ellie agreed with her, looking up at the clouded sky, it was pretty sunny yesterday, this morning it was partly cloudy, and now all you could see were clouds, aime didnt think too much about it since last she checked they were bright white ones, but as she watched ellie looking up at the sky she did too, now noticing the clouds turning grey

"you think it will start raining before we get there?" aime asked, folding the map away and sliding it in her pocket, "i dunno.. im more worried about how long its gonna last, if you look more east the clouds are really dark, it might be a bad storm and we would have to wait it out" ellie explained her thoughts

"true.. but atleast we're gonna have shelter, could you imagine how bad it would be if we weren't by the cabin?" aime smiled, trying to brighten ellies mood, "yea, that would suck" ellie scoffed, aime, smiled a little bit more, happy that ellie gave more emotion instead of blankly humming as a response

"so the cabins just east?" ellie asked, looking over at aime for an answer, aime still smiling, now smiling because ellie was actually looking at her, maybe she was just tired.

"yeah, no sharp turns or anything i dont think, as long as we keep going straight it'll come into view" aime nodded, "perfect.. straight towards the storm" ellie mumbled, "it probably wont be that bad, ellie" aime tried to reason, but ellie was caught off guard by aime using her name

"y- yeah.." she stuttered

ellie and aime pushed the bookshelf infront of the front door of the cabin, their clothes dripping wet, the thunderstorm whistling and lighting jumping, the sound of rain dropplets slamming against the windows

"shit" ellie panted, "its way worse then i thought it'd be" she said, catching her breath, "yea.. its pretty bad" aime agreed, also out of breath, the rain had started about half a mile before they got to the cabin, and when it was in view it started pouring, then it get even worse with hard rain and loud thunder, they had to run and tie up their horsed in a shed, and run into the cabin as fast as they could to prevent getting even more wet, but here they stood, soaked

ellie looked at amie confused, "what? do i look bad with wet hair?" aime asked, pushing the hair that stuck to her face behind her ears, suddenly feeling insecure under ellies gaze

"bad? no you can never look bad, i just didnt exepct you to agree on me with that instead of trying to convince me happy things" ellie explained to the girl, aime smiled at ellies compliment, which ellie didnt even realize she gave

ellie turned her head to look around the cabin, she immediately spotted a mirror, she walked over to it, taking out her tangled bun, pushing her hair behind her ears and started messing with her bangs

aime watched her doing it, if i was a guy id have the biggest crush on her, aime though, walking over to her, standing shoulder to shoulder, ellie stopped fiddling with her hair and started fiddling with her hands looking down

"you're really pretty ellie, cats lucky to date you" aime smiled looking to her, ellies head stayed down, but aime noticed a blush creep onto ellies face

ellie felt like she could collapse at her calling her pretty and using her name, but the though of cat made guilt consume her. how can she date someone but think about anyother person way more? or how can she get crazy butterflies in her stomach when some random girl calls her pretty but doesnt really feel anything when her own girlfriend does?

ellie did like cat, she did, but ellie was starting to think she didnt really like her. she was fun to be around and she made her smile, she also liked how cat didnt care what others thought of their relationship, but everytime her and cat would go by aime, ellie would always pull away from cat, untangling her hands from her, putting them in her pocket or pretending to scrach her arm until aime was out of view.

"did you bring any extra clothes?" aimes voice snapped ellies thoughts away, "uh.." ellie looked up at her, "i dont think i have any pants since they would fit in my bag but everything else yea" ellie thought, "i think i only have a tanktop and boxer breifs" aime mumbled, taking her bag off her shoulders and turning around-

she was too focused on watching ellie she didnt even have time to look around, and ellie was too focused on making herself look presentable to look around

ellie turned around too, the cabin was really small, they already knew that from the outside but it seemed smaller on the inside

there was one big bed, queen size maybe, a small kitchen and a two person dinner table, a big carpet, and a fireplace, there was also a door by the kicthen, probably the bathroom

okay, good, theres a comfy bed for us, aime thought, before walking over to the kicthen, setting her bag on the counter before opening ir and pulling out her clothes. she didnt mind sharing a bed at all, she shared beds with whe friends all the time, even with twin sized ones, it wasnt weird

ellie stood there with widened eyes, the thought of sharing a bed with her made her feel warm, but she shook her head and walked by aime, setting her bag down next to her and looking for her clothes

while ellie was trying to find her socks, she saw in the corner of her eye, aime slipping off her jacket, which was whatever, but then she pulled off her shirt and reached for the buttons of her pants, ellies face went red, she tried to focuse herself on finding the socks in her bag, but her peripheral vision wasn't allowing it, so she mindlessly shuffled through her bag making it seem like she didnt notice

but aime knew ellie noticed her changing, aime watched her face go pink as she slipped off her pants, she smiled to herself, shes so cute, if i was a guy i'd have the biggest crush on her, aime thought to herself

"you finding your clothes okay?" aime teased, ellie felt her face get even hotter, shit shes so hot- "u- uh, yea, just fine" ellie stuttered, moving her back so aime wasnt in her peripheral vision anymore so she could actually focus on finding them

aime got completely nude, as the rain had soaked through her clothes and her underwear and bra were soaked, slipping on white boxer breifs and a white V cut tanktop, her bag was really full and these were the only clothes she could fit as they were thin and tiny

aime walked over to the fireplace, sitting infront of it. once ellie had her clothes layed out, on the counter, she peeked her head thinking aime was still behind her, but she wasnt, so ellie looked over her other shoulder to see her on her knees trying to started a fire, ellie watched as her damp hair dripped down her back, going through her thin white too and down to her shorts, ellie couldnt help but stare at her ass.

aime felt eyes on her, she peeked her head over her shoulder to see ellie immediately moving her head away from her, aime smilied to herseld before going back to the fire

ellie turned her back to face aime, before getting undressed, placing her heavy wet clothes next to aimes, as ellie got changed, she stared at aimes light pink laced bra that layed on the counter, she started to get butterflies as she pictured what aime would look like in it, she shook her head feeling grossed out by herself and turned around now clothed

aime heard ellie walk over to the now lit fire, she moved her head to look up at ellie, aime didnt know it but her face went a shade of pink seeing ellie in a thick strapped white tanktop, it was tight but long, covering half her underwear- her underwear being greyish purple and sort of boxer breifs like aimes exepct hers were a lot shorter.

as ellie sat down next to aime, aime pulled out two cans of chef boyardiee ravioli, she passed ellie a can along with plastic forks, the only noises being heard was the fire crackling and the heavy rain- followed by thunder almost every minute

"so how are you and cat?" aime asked, eating the now warmed ravioli, ellie stayed quiet for a minute, "we're good" ellie shortly replied, aime nodded, "i really like the tattoo she gave you, you look super good with it" aime smiled, making eye contact with her

ellie got red from that (again) "so.. uhm.. how are you and daniel" ellie asked, trying to return the question, but her voice came out bitter, aime didnt realize ellies tone, now stuck in thought if her boyfriend she didnt like, aime shrugged, "i dont know"

ellies eyebrows scrunched, "what do you mean you dont know?" she asked her, watching aime as she stared into the fire, trying to stop her eyes from going down to her cleavage, "uh, its nothing, i do like him but hes just very needy and- touchy" aime tried to explain without outting herself for not liking him at all

"how so?" ellie asked, now invested, she thought they had the perfect relationship, "he basically moved in with me without asking, he complains that i work too much, and like.. he always tries to get me to do it with him, but i don't want to yet" aime said, she whished she wanted to, but everytime he would touch her she just would squirm away and would feel gross

ellie was dumbfounded, "wait? you guys havent done it yet?" she really thought they did it like every night, aime shook her head, "have you and cat?" aime asked, placing the empty can to the side, "maybe" ellie simply replied, aime nodded, "i figured" she said, taking a sip of water

"whats that supposed to mean?" ellie asked, "like every couple of jackson does it im the only one" she shrugged, ellie sipped water, "well, you and kaleb definitely did it" ellie almost mumbled, "what? no we didnt?" aime asked confused, kaleb was her ex boyfriend, they were together for about a year and half, before she found out kaleb had been cheating on her for almost a year.

"uh, you guys were together for over a year" ellie said, confused, "yea, i know, thats why he started doing it with other girls behind my back" aime replied, "he what?" ellie raised her voicd, growing angry at him, even though it was years ago when they broke up, the reason the broke up kaleb and amie told people they both just lost feelings

"oh shit- i didnt mean to say that, ellie please dont tell anyone, please-"

"i wont, but what the fuck?" ellie questioned, "next time i see him hes gonna kiss my fist" ellie said angry, "ellie! its not a big deal and it was years ago, who cares?" aime asked confused of why ellie randomly got mad

"who cares? you dont date someone and go fuck other people because they werent ready for it!"

"no, trust me ellie, its fine, i didnt even really care when i found out, i didnt really like him" aime shrugged, "huh? whyd you date him?" ellie asked, "i- im done talking about this" aime said, unsure of how to reply

they were silent for a few minutes, just staring into the fire- well aime was, and she thought ellie was too, but ellie was staring at her

ellies eyes trailed from aimes eyes, to her nose, to her soft plumpled lips, to her slightly wet neck, almost dry from the rain, to her full chest, to her damp white shirt, her shirt was damp enough that you could see her shape and her nipples from her not wearing a bra, ellies eyes trailed even ferther to aimes bottoms, flickering back to her breasts. her mouth began to water, she thought about what her lips would taste like, what her skin would taste like, how perfectcly her hands would cup her breasts, how her pussy would taste- ellie tried to stop her thoughts but shes been holding them back for too long now, and they kept pouring into her head, ellie wondered what her face would look like, what noises would come out, she thought about her screaming her named-

ellie felt herself grow wet, she couldnt stop it, "im gonna go to the bathroom" ellie mumbled, standing up and walking to the door in the kitchen, she entered the bathroom, it was small, just a toilet, a sink, and a standing shower

ellie locked the door and sat on the toilet cover, she felt butterflies in her stomach, thinking of how aime would look riding her, how her wavy hair would drape over her naked body, ellie pressed her theighs together, "shit" she whispered, allowing her hand to go to her underwear.

"hey" aime smiled, ellie was bright red, i cant believe i just fucking did that, ellie thought to herself, slapping herself in her mind for doing that to not only cat but to aime

"hi" ellie said, standing up looking down at aime who still sat on the ground, "we should probably get to bed?" aime questioned, ellie looked back at the bed, shit i forgot theres only one bed, "uh- yea, probably" ellie nodded, "you okay?" aime asked, "yeah why?" ellie quickly said back, "you just seem, flustered? i don't really know"

aime put out the fire, the moonlight lighting the cabin, and held out her hand for ellie to help pull her up, which ellie did, once aime was up, she didnt let go of ellies hand, she smiled looking up at her, "can i ask a personal question?" aime randomly asked, still holding ellies hand, "uh, sure?" ellie said confused, "how many people have you.. done it with?" aime asked, hoping it wasn't too weird, but they were both 19 so aime wanted to compare their numbers.

"only cat" ellie answered, aime nodded, looked down to her feet, "how many have you?" ellie asked, "uh.." aime hummed, "im not like- gonna judge you or anything" ellie tried to comfort her, which it worked, "none" aime mumbled, "none?" ellie asked, making sure she heard it right, aime nodded, "oh" ellie said, which caused aime to look up at her, "i didnt mean that to sound like i was judging or- something- i meant oh as in just like that i was suprised" ellie corrected

aime laughed, "its okay, you can judge, ive had three boyfriends, im 19, and still a virgin"

"three?" ellie asked confused, she only knew of two, "oh, yeah, it was before you came to jackson" she shortly explained, "who? do i know them?" ellie asked, "uh.. lucas, but it was only like for 4 months and we were 13 so it doesnt actually really count" aime explained, which caused ellie to laugh

"well why havent you?" ellie questioned, "just dont want to, anytime the touch me i feel gross" aime shrugged like it was normal, "uh.. okay?" ellie said confused, "and if im being honest.. dicks are disgusting" aime whispered, which caused ellie to laugh again, "what? first of all, ive never heard a straight girl say that, second of all, did you just swear?!"

aime laughed, "oh shut up! everybody thinks theyre gross they just dont say it!" aime dragged ellie behind her as she made her way to the bed, ellie giggled as she crawled into the bed with her

"i should of brought a blanket" aime mumbled, the bed only has a sheet and two pillows, the blanket was nowhere to be seen

"yeah? how would you have brought that" ellie questioned, "uhh.. i would of figured it out!" aime said with a smile, they were both of their sides facing eachother, "yeah right" ellie laughed

ellie kept on flickering her eyes to how pretty her body looked, she needed to stop she moved and layed on her back

it was silent for awhile, ellie thought aime went to sleep and aime didnt know if ellie was awake or not, "ellie?" aime whispered, the rain still pouring, ellie turned her head and looked at aime, suprised she was awake, "yeah?" ellie asked, "im cold" aime said, her hands on her arms trying to warm herself up, ellie looked down at her and noticed her nipples poking through from being cold- "uh.. me too" ellie said, unsure of how to respond to that

"can we.. you know.." aime tried to say without saying it, "huh?" ellie asked clueless, "uh, i dont mean to sound weird or anything, i only mean it platonically but.." aime said nervously, ellie finally realized what she was getting at

ellie opened her arms up motioning for her to go there, aime smiled at the girl, and scooted till she was presseda against ellies said, she then rested her cheek against ellies chest, wrapped an arm around her waist, ellie closed her arms around her, hugging her gently

they layed in silence for a few minutes, aime warmed up a bit but her legs were cold, so she lifted her knee and placed it between ellies legs, ellie almost instinctively brought her hand to aimes leg, just above her knee, and pulled it up more so that her knee was only a few inches away from her heat, aime moved her hips to try and get closer to ellie, but since they were already touching ellie, and since aime's hips were in between ellies theigh, it only made aime's core brush against it, unexpected butterflies swormed aime but not in her stomach, and it felt good.

she sat in silence, her mind repeating how she felt when she moved her hips from a few minutes ago, she opened her eyes and looked up at ellie, but ellies eyes were closed and seemingly asleep. so aime pressed herself to ellie theigh, and moved her hips up, she let out a shakey breath, suddenly turned fully on- this is the first time she was every turned on with someone else in the room.

aime's eyes looked to ellies body, before she sunk her hips back down slowly, causing her to let out another breath as her clit rubbed against ellies skin, slightly gripping onto ellies fabric

she stopped herself, what the fuck am i doing? im straight, i have a boyfriend, and ellie had a girlfriend. what the fuck is wrong with me? i guess since daniels always in the house i never have time to touch myself so now that hes gone i wanna? she tried to reason

"whyd you stop?" ellies voice achoed the room as aime froze- "hm?" aime hummed, "you know what i said" ellie smirked looking down at the girl, but the girl had her eyes closed hoping she was dreaming completely embarassed, "stop what?" aime asked trying to sound confused, "don't play dumb" ellie said, moving her hand from aimes leg to her chin, she pulled her chin to look at her, aime looked anywhere but her eyes

"look at me" ellie ordered, aime scooted herself up more, hovering over ellie face to finally look at her in the eyes, they didnt speak anything, the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with scissors

aime couldnt help herself, she was so turned on by ellie, her body, her face, and her voice, she without any thoughts slammed her lips into ellies, ellie immediately kissed back, putting all the anger she had for herself and for daniel into the kiss, ellie had her hands onto ellies waist, and aime just did what felt right, aime had one leg outside of ellies, the other in between ellies two, her hands holding ellies face

ellie leaned herself up, moving her hands more towards aimes hips, pushing them to help her move agianst them like how she was doing eairler, aime let out a moan through the kiss, which made ellie melt

aime started grinding her hips more to ellies theigh, "do you want me?" ellie grunted, aime only hummed in response, "i need words" ellie said, making lovebites on her jaw, "mh- i- i want you ellie" she moaned, she never felt this good in her life, she felt like she was in heaven, "good girl" ellie whispered

ellie gripped aimes hips, causing them to stop, she brought her lips back to aimes lips, kissing her with tongue, aime tried to move her hips but ellie was stronger then her and she couldnt

aime brought her hand to herself, trying to rub herself but ellie pulled away and gripped her wrist, "did i say you could?"

"n- no" aime whined, ellie licked her lips before she brought her face to aimes cleavge, she kissed it a few times before she pulled away, pulling aimes shirt over her head, ellie felt herself grow even wetter at the sigh, she stared in awe for a moment, before she started to taste her skin and message her boobs

"ellie- please" aime moaned wanting more, as much ellie wanted to tease aime more, she was teasing herself, ellie pulled away, looking at the marks she just created,

ellie grabbed aimes hips and lifted her up, before pulling her leg up too, and pushing her to sit back down on her so now she was straddling her instead of being in between her legs

ellie then brought her middle and ring finger to her clothed slit, rubbing her slowly, watching as she squirmed, she could feel her wetness seeping through the fabric, "youre so wet" ellie grunted, she moved her hand and pulled the waistband of aimes boxers, she sunk her hand into them, letting her wet lips come in contact with the pads of her fingers, "is this all for me babe?" ellie moaned, "only you" aime moaned

ellie began to drag her two fingers up and down her slit, as they slopply kissed, "i need you in me ellie" aime moaned, those words alone made ellie moan, so she sunk her fingers deep inside of her, aime bit her lip muffling her moan, "let me hear you" ellie moaned, jamming her fingers even deeper then before, aime let her jaw hang as she moaned, and began to grind her hips onto ellies fingers, "you look so pretty on me" ellie whispered as she began to pick up her paste

"tell me how good it feels" ellie moaned, starting to curl her fingers, "mmpfh- it- it feels so good ellie!" aime whinned, "good girl" ellie whimpered, "i- im gonna" aime tried to make out a sentance, but she cut herself off with whine, her stomach tightened, she arched her back onto ellies fingers, but ellie kept on pumping, overstimulating her as she dripped onto her fingers

"you did such a good job" ellie complimented, pulling her fingers out, aime didnt know what was to happen next, but ellie shoved her two fingers into aimes mouth, watching as aime complied, sucking on her fingers and twirling her tongue around them

"good girl" ellie whispered, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth, ellie pulled aime and turned her around so now aime was on bottom, ellie pulled off her underwear and pulled off aimes

she pressed her lips to hers, making out with eachother there tongues tangling. ellie then moved so that her left leg was under aimes, and that her right leg was over her others, pressing their clits together, aime let out a whine as ellie started to grind, there slits grinding against eachother

as aime gripped onto ellies leg, she leaned her head back and let out a whine, "fuck- ellie" she moaned, moving her hips grinding along with her, "daniel could never make you feel like this, huh?" ellie groaned, "no, only you can ellie" aime moaned, bringing her hand to ellies tanktop, lifting it up she could see her body

"thats it- good girl" ellie moaned, aime felt as if her ears had been blessed with the sound of her moaning, she wanted to get more of her noises out, aime brought her hand to her boobs, squeezing them and messaging them, "ugh- fuck- you're so hot" she moaned, leaning her head back grinding harder, "im gonna cum ellie" aime was able to pant

ellie felt her stomach tighten at her words, she rolled her hips once more before her and aimes moans were combained, ellie leaned onto aime with their chests pressed together, ellies head in the crook of her neck, both panting together.

#ellie williams smut #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x you #the last of us 2 #the last of us smut

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snarky-art · 1 month

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I swear I dont wanna be mean but why does everyone keep making stella fat. Why is it that the most attractive character, whom everyone finds beautiful inside the show, is the one who is always turned fat. Like... No one would find her attractive if her canon design was like that. I promise im not being mean but I feel like the artists are always projecting themselves onto Stella and wanting to be loved like she is, cause usually the ones making her fat are fat too, like I saw your selfies and you're a bit curvy. I promise im not being mean im just curious.

For starters, send me more fat Stella’s if you can I haven’t seen that many made and would love to see more varied takes on her appearances in redesigns.

Secondly, I made her fat because I think it’s nice to have the character that’s canonically considered to be the most beautiful girl in all of magix, a fashion icon in the magical dimension, a very celebrated trendsetter, be something other than the stereotypical concept of socially acceptable fashion tropes. She isn’t an hourglass, she has cellulite and stretch marks, she’s super pear shaped, and that can be and should be considered something to be normal, since they are, and shouldn’t be seen as things that need to be hidden. Having that put on a loud and proud fashion girly seems good imo and it can only really contribute to good stuff for body image stuff and representation. I did it so people like you could reconsider that beauty is something that comes in multiple forms and shouldn’t have to fit one type of standard. If we wanna get super technical too those standards also very from culture to culture and I image that’s extended even further in Winx club.

The girls are all aliens from different worlds. There’s bug people. There’s a lady in the miss magix episode that has tentacle hair, a blue body, and tentacle hands and feet. I highly doubt beauty standards in canon would be the same as what you’re saying, ie that no one would consider her beautiful. As if people who look like her irl also would inherently be considered not beautiful too. I know lots of people who have people that think they’re the hottest thing ever and they have all sorts of different body types and traits. Lets just call it realism lol

I’m not really projecting any of my physical stuff on her also, outside of I guess stretch marks and cellulite?? But I put those on other characters too so I don’t really think that holds up. I actually put my old body type on Flora since she’s my favorite, but now I’m way more midsized, like a slightly thinner Bloom from my stuff (love this unit of measurement gonna start using the gorls as a reference point for my appearance going forward lol). I’ve always had the “socially acceptable” fat type of body, ie hourglass with even proportions and a super snatched waist. I just think it’s tired and trite to constantly reenforce the idea that “the hot fashion one” needs to be tall and thin all the time, and if she is made fatter, that she needs to look like I did ie not much of a tummy with super equal proportions, big boobs, and a big ass.

Kinda related to that also, I made a post about a lot of character design “rules” too that I think are kinda outdated and annoying, at least to me, since I’ve seen them a million times. We all have. So I decided to do something different that I think would be good for normalizing traits outside of what we consider typically acceptable for that kind of character.

I’m already very loved also and don’t need to project anything on Stella lmaooo

I got multiple partners, great friends, do modeling, and am slaying with my own fashion and appearance stuff outside of that too. That’s all independent of whatever I’m doing with her physical body type when I draw her.

Gonna level with you also, you going “I’m not trying to be mean” doesn’t erase how weird this ask is. Sounds like you have your own gripes that you need to work through. Like, if you consider those traits on Stella ugly, that means you definitely have some internalized hatred for fatness, skin blemishes, scarring, and other peoples’ general appearances if they don’t fit some specific molds that aren’t realistic for the majority of people. Even if it is just genuine curiosity, being aware of this stuff going forwards and reevaluating how you view beauty standards and bodies in general would do you a great benefit imo.

Thanks for going through my old selfies tho it was pretty weird of you but at least make sure to leave a like on them. I looked hot when I was fatter and I look hot now too sharing this with the world is the least I can do💕✨💕✨

#winx club #winx #asks #normalize other body types being considered hot because that’s just how it is irl too outside of what magazines and movies might tell you #people fall in love with all kinds of people or think all sorts of people that aren’t models are hot #and they’ve got bodies like hers #it’s just realistic if you wanna get technical lol

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months

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I imagine shí bǎomǔ (translated via Google translate English to Ancient Chinese, it means stone nanny) is probably the nickname of choice for Wukong amongst demon monkeys. Just imagine a pairnif monkey demon's coming into the shop because, with Wukong appearing more and more often in this specific shop, of course other monkey demon's will natural gravitate towards it even if they don't necessarily know why. And the somehow goes to stone monkeys, probably because of course it does, Tang is there and a huge Monkey King fan who wants to know everything about the differences between regular monkey demon's and a certain stone monkey they knew. One of those monkey demons, he has some old world knowledge from his great something or other grandparents. Maybe he's related to one of the immortal monkeys that ended up leaving the mountain when it became overpopulated/too dangerous with all the attacks that happened when Wukong was away? Anyways he knows about stone monkeys, albeit not much. What he knows roughly translates to how they're universally known as the nannies of the demon monkey population. It probably goes like,

MK: Man, is it weird, or has Monkey King been acting weird around me?

Mei: Aw, he just loves his son~

MK: He's not my dad, Mei. He's Bern weirdly acting like a mom, ever since the baby came along. Him and Macaque both.

Monkey, not trying to eavesdrop but its impossible with the topic: *snort* Typical Shí bǎomǔ behavior.

Tang: Stone nanny?

Minkey: Old archaic name for the king's species before it became on. Grandoapa says it was cuz of their natural weakness to anything vaguely small, cute, and cublike. The king was, apparently, especially susceptible to this. Never met the guy, but my ancestors was a troopmate of his.

Pigsy: That explains how useless he was with the moon rabbit...

referencing this post on Stone Monkey behavior.

Oh my gosh I adore "shí bǎomǔ/Stone Nanny" as the monkey demon word for Stone Monkeys! <3

Imagine being a caveman-era monkey demon, and you just meet a really cool new monkey who's super good and insistent on caring for your babies while you rest or forage? That monkey would be the go-to babysitter for the whole troop! And they're tough as rocks? Coolest nanny ever!

And the monkeys who knew Wukong back in the king's early days know why the King had the affectionate nickname of "Waigong/Yeye/Grandpa Sun". He helped babysit so many infants and cubs without even asking that the younger generation just assumed he was one of their grandparents until it was explained to them that the immortal monkey was just a really good babysitter. XD

I also love the idea of modern monkey demons congregating around Pigsy's Noodles cus they know that their King and his Heir go there all the time, and that the food is good enough for a king! Pigsy unexpectedly gets a loyal customer base of excited mostly-vegetarian monkeys.

They adore Tang much to the scholar's delight, and to MK's annoyance (boy has been hearing the same stories and questions all day now). Monkey demons dont have a lot of surviving written history due to the Burning of Flower Fruit Mountain, so to have a scholar/historian like Tang trying to compile stories and second-hand accounts is considered really amazing for them!

#stone monkeys #slow boiled stone egg au #pregnancy tw #lmk theories #sun wukong #shadowpeach #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk tang

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imustbenuts · 3 months

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Seadall, localization, food, EABS culture, and discussion of Eating Disorder. Trigger Warning.

tl;dr: Seadall is pandering to an East Asian Beauty Standard, technically does not have eating disorder, but is bordering on Disordered Eating, and both the writers and localizers know it.

Our first official male dancer of FE has a bit of a obsession over controlling his diet to a concerning degree. But is it actually an Eating Disorder? No, I don't think so. From my pov, this has everything to do with his job, a Dancer and the dreaded East Asian Beauty Standard (EABS).

EABS idealizes the fair skinned (asian colorism rAAAAGH), the lean and thin. Any level of fats or flaps are no good and is considered undesirable, or worse, a sign of one's gluttonous and even slothful character. IRL, that sentiment has become less pervasive, less judgemental and less awful than 10 years ago, but it's still around. Hell, it's in our Fire Emblems! Average out the body shapes of all dancers or even characters in FE and you'll see what I mean.

(are you in hell yet.)

This EABS is especially prevalent in 1 genre of media that comes pouring out of Japan and Korea... The Pop Idol scene. In Japan, the idol industry can be traced back to the 1960s, and though it has propped up the EABS, this standard's roots goes FURTHER back to even pre-colonialism era, to China and the Tang Dynasty where willowy female bodies were ideal. (That's 618-907AD.)

And when I say EABS, I will include the surrounding countries outside of Japan too. Similarities in culture and all that. Hence East Asian. (Don't be mistaken though. South East and South Asia also has to deal with this shit.)

But hey. I'm still talking about female EABS, right? Where does Seadall fall into this?

Uhhhh. Jumpscare. Surprise K-pop.

(ps i dont know k-pop as well so idk who these ppl are im sorry waaaaug)

Dancers and the Idol Industry

It's easier to see on the female side, but uh, that specific body shape is often achieved through extreme dieting. The body fat % is so low that the dancer's lower ribcage can be seen. Before shooting the dance or a performance, these idol's agencies will notify them to slim down to a certain goal, like say drop 2kg (4.4 lbs) or 4kg (8.8 lbs) in x time, and this is typical. Guys here are no exception.

Weight is manufactured. Looks to some extent (plastic... surgery....). The clothes too, are intentionally picked. Exposing the belly is common since it's the quickest indicator of skinniness.

But hey, I actually lied about the dieting part. It's not really dieting as it's actually straight up starvation, tbh. To lose that weight, the dancers/idols will often eat as little as some protein shake, a few fruits and maybe potato for fiber. Yes, it's as hellish as it sounds, and no, these people are unable to fully function with a calorie intake like this. Source for this claim will be in a video at the bottom of the post by youtuber chaebin n out, titled "How K-POP Destroys Your Body". So.

W̵͓͍̏͝e̴͉̾ḽ̷͈͐ĉ̶̠̝͋ö̶̤́m̷̲̒ê̶̬ ̶̧̅ṭ̷̘͑͑ö̵͇́ ̸̛͖̑h̵̳̿͝ė̶͕͉l̵̜͖̇͗ḻ̶̑!̴̪͊̉

Ok, but that's K-pop. What about J-pop?

Japan, where FE rolls out from, have J-pop, which is slightly different. J-pop idols also suffer from EABS but afaik it's not as extreme. Many contemporary J-pop idol groups like Atarashii Gakko!(left) and Babymetal(right) also Do Not make thinness a major selling point with their costuming. This is usually done through hiding the midriff, where belly fat most easily forms. (EABS is still in effect though, don't be mistaken! There could be just as extreme cases out there I'm not aware of ;_;)

So it seems like people kind of agree that obsessing about weight and developing body image issue is messed up.

Hopefully now I've established what is going on irl for Seadall's influences, and what is considered normal or extreme. Relatively anyway. (I hate EABS so much hhggr)

Let's detour to...

Food! Staples! What's normal?

An average meal in Japan consists of a variety of veggies, tofu and a serving of protein, which results in lower fat intake. Also, RICE is a major staple in these meals, so assuming the writers are approaching it with the best intentions, and how Engage's normal might appear to native Japanese audiences, JP Seadall's worry only seems to be on oily food intake and is not overly concerning to me.

In fact, here is an example of a staple set meal (teishoku) I ate over there last December. Yum yum:

Overall a very lean meal. So it's likely Seadall eats something similar-ish and not just greens.

Another important point is that in (East) Asia/Japan, oily food is seen as unhealthy and contributes greatly to cholesterol. This aversion to oily food is driven somewhat by EABS and... Health. I also promise most people are actually chill about this. ...Most people! Meat is yummy! Gyukaku and Ikinari Steak is popular and popping! That's why Seadall likes it after all.

So this is where Seadall's writing starts to contrast. For the most part in the EN version, he only worries about meat. In JP, it's technically oily food, which meat falls under, and he's worried about putting on weight.

Why the extreme worry tho...?

The logic for why all these matters so much to him is this: if a dancer is surrounded by other dancers who are reinforcing this EABS (mirroring the standards of the real world), then their only choice to stay relevant and keep their job is to commit to the same dietary choice and uphold the same EABS, or even have a EABS outperforming the standard.

Because a Dancer's job, or rather, Seadall's job is to pander to people's ideals of beauty. Hence his supports where hair and skin and food becomes a topic.

If he fails the standard, according to the J-pop and K-pop industry, he kind of fails at his job. Is it fair? Fuck no, but no matter what opinion we may think of the standard as outsiders, it remains that there is a LOT of social conditioning and manufacturing going on leading to... all of that. I scream too. I scream a lot, internally.

So what does Seadall look like to someone in this East Asian sphere...?

To the writers credit, they do push for Seadall to indulge more food that makes him happy for at least his mental well-being through the other characters.

This also happens to fall in line with Engage's low key theme of cherishing the moment.

With all I've explained, Seadall might come across as warning to those who over-worry about oily food consumption and trying to pander to an EABS to... chill the fuck out. That it's ok to just go eat some delicious yakiniku if you want to! Go off! If a female character who is concerned with this comes across as too vain, then let's have a guy do it and hope the point lands for the (potentially female) players.

And with all these missing context, it's very easy for one who isn't clued into this sphere assume that Seadall has some eating disorder or that the writers are advocating it. I don't think that's happening here at all. The localizers likely are aware of this missing context and have toned it down several levels for EN release. Wise move, tbh.

(progressiveness can be relative btw. something to keep in mind @_@)

So, is Seadall coming close to some kind of Disordered Eating? Possible. From what I see I think the writers are trying to push Seadall away from it, and trying to stop it from becoming a full blown Eating Disorder. Personally, again, I don't think he has an Eating Disorder.

However! Your Mileage May Vary. I only hope for my opinion and understanding to help inform others, not override it. What's normal for me isn't for everyone, and vice versa, but it's important to remember where Fire Emblem originates from.

And here's the last thing I promised: the video essay if you really want to dive into it:

youtube

And that's about it.

Hope this was interesting! Thanks for reading. 😄

EDIT: the Chinese net sphere is the exception to all of this, EABS is especially bad there

#seadall fire emblem #fire emblem engage #seadall #localization discourse #eating disorder #culture #seadall fire emblem engage #trigger warning

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lolotheparagon · 1 year

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Helluva Boss is Hella Sexist To Both Men and Women - Part 2

In my last post about HB, I was discussing how the main female characters of HB get shunted to the sidelines/used as a vehicle for the men's character development. And its about time we started talking about the male characters as well. Cos despite how female characters being mistreated is the more pressing issues (cos female characters always have trouble being written properly for hundreds of years because the writers were incels or misogynistic women) male characters have their own stereotypes or objectification that writers fall into. Especially in regards to mlm relationships (OH, WE'LL FUCKING GET TO THAT)

But for now, lets talk about the main guys in HB:

Blitzo

I might as well go into full character analysis here cos Blitz is ultimately the protagonist of the show. Blitz is a interesting character by concept. A foul-mouthed demon with a literal devil-may-care attitude, completely unprofessional, loves his job as an assassin but also craves love and intimacy with others but struggles to due to a history of failed relationships in the past so he hides behind a mask. Hes an absolute mess of a character and I love that. Blitz is not only a good vessel for comedy but drama as well as his self-sabotaging of his relationships with his friends/co-workers can be a great character arc of him learning to trust others again and start to love himself...

HOWEVER Vivziepop just LOVES throwing angst upon angst onto this guy cos it seems that every past relationship he's had from an ex-girlfriend Verosika to his former partner/childhood friend Fizzarolli to even HIS OWN SISTER ends bitterly and it seems no one from Blitz's past even likes him or is on some amiable ground. Verosika is portrayed like an antagonistic ex, Fizzarolli condescends and humiliates him and from what we see of Barbie's view from that animatic, she comments on how he fucked up her life. So we have two women who are scorned at him (one for justifiable reasons since Blitz was an inconsiderate jerk and the other for reasons we dont know yet) and a guy who broke ties with him to be his rival. And its not like Blitz isnt remorseful because whenever Verosika talks about their relationship, you can see the look of regret on Blitz's face and he was shown to be scared whenever he encounters Fizz, like a kid scared of a bully.

Even Blitz's relationship with his adoptive daughter is fucked up, Loona constantly abuses her father when hes done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to warrant it outside of him being protective at a few moments or babying her (and by babying her I mean calling her Loonypoo or showering her with gifts and hugs). Aka what a typical parent is like. And yet he constantly bends over backwards for her and Loona hasn't even learned her lesson to stop being a bitch cos apparently the writers think women hitting men is funny. There are a few moments of them getting along, but its only for comedy. I would say the only good relationships Blitz has is with Millie and Moxxie. But even that's pushing it cos Blitz barely interacts with Millie in any meaningful way outside of co-worker banter and with Moxxie, the only meaningful scenes they share is in the Truth Seekers episode or that little scene in Seeing Stars.

Ultimately Blitz' relationships with others is why he's such a fucked up mess of a person to begin with. While he has a more stable relationship with his current friends/co-workers, the people of his past keep coming back into his life to mess with him and while he clearly regrets how he treated some, like Verosika, others like Fizz, are okay with hurting him for the evulz and thus set them up to be villainous foils. With all this baggage plus his traumatic childhood regarding his father and presumably dead mother, Blitz sounds like a great character to explore, especially with two characters who both have history with Blitz in different ways. And they barely show up.

You see, Verosika and Fizz ONLY appear in a couple episodes. Fizz appears properly (not his robot double) in the season 1 FINALE and his past with Blitzo is only expanded upon in season 2 premiere whereas Verosika had her own episode in season 1 earlier and her only other significant appearance is in the finale. Apart from that, we only get snippets of info about their relationships from Blitzo's viewpoint. WE HAVENT EVEN SEEN A FLASHBACK WITH BLITZ' BREAK UP WITH FIZZ OR VEROSIKA.

And then we come to his relationship with Stolas...and its fucking awful. That image at the top of this post? Thats what Blitz thinks of Stolas. Doesn't look like a wholesome relationship, does it? I can talk about Stolitz enough to fill a bible but to summarise: Blitz' relationship with Stolas is incredibly fucked up and whats worst, its shown so far to be one-sided. What started as a transactional sex relationship in order for Blitz to use Stolas' grimoire to enter the human world to do his job. (the ONLY METHOD HE HAS, mind you) And from what we see of Blitz' view of this relationship, he's tolerant of him at best to annoyed and angry at worst. The one scene at the end of the season 1 finale cements this when Stolas wants to comfort Blitz after the scene at Ozzies and Blitz refused to have sex with Stolas cos hes deeply hurt and embarassed after everything thats happened that night.

youtube

(btw love this video is titled Blitzo hurts stolas feelings. Like the scene of Blitz being publicly humiliated by both his ex and his rival didnt happen not 1 minute ago with Stolas just standing there not even saying anything so Blitz is clearly hurt by that but nooooo sad gay owl uwu)

Throughout the first season, Blitz treats Stolas like an abhorrent admirer with how Stolas constantly coddles or flirts with him to the nth degree and the argument shown above thats supposed to be the climax of this relationship's problems isnt even RESOLVED when the second season rolls around, the show just treats Blitzo like a tsundere slowly becoming more chill with someone whom he's force-shipped with. The writers really REALLY want you to root for Blitz to be with Stolas yet Blitz has been nothing but uncomfortable or annoyed in his presence. Look at Blitz' face on these photos on Stolas' phone. He looks bored as fuck. oH buT ItS OKAy cos BLitzo hAS a PHOTo of HIm slightly smiling AFter the two had secks so its all good.

That's not the gotcha card you think, guys. Still doesnt excuse how fucked up the relationship is

The main problem I have with Blitzo is that Vivziepop LOVES to torture this imp for drama with scorned lovers, estranged siblings, an abusive father, a presumably dead mother, an ex-best friend who's now his bully, a one-sided relationship with a powerful prince thats built on coercion and pity sex. And yet the show flits back on forth on making him this lol screw you memelord who doesnt give a fuck to a tragic, broken man who doesnt know how to love anyone and himself anymore and the show doesnt dwell hard enough into the latter. I want Blitz to get therapy already or have him actually learn from his mistakes and the show doesnt punish him for it or treat his abuse like a joke. Ive got nothing wrong with a protagonist who's an asshole but dumping all this trauma and angst onto this character who's already got issues to deal with in his current life (like stalking, his lack of respect for boundaries, saying the r slur or making fatphobic jokes) is just depressing.

Moxxie

Moxxie is by far my fave character for how level-headed and kind he is but cos the writers are so indulgent with their tropes, they've flanderised him into a soft boi malewife, infantilising him to the point he literally cant do anything without his wife picking up the slack.

My three main problems with him are: his status as a butt-monkey, his lack of agency and his co-dependency on Millie.

To start with: he's the most morally upright imp on the team so its only natural he would be the butt monkey of the team, but despite how Blitz respects him enough as an assassin, Moxxie is still ridiculed, assaulted and attacked by Blitz, Loona, Verosika, practically everyone except his wife. And while having a butt monkey for comedy is fine, the show goes out of its way to mock Moxxie for things that are so nonsensical it feels more like degradation than snarky banter. For some reason, theres a running gag where Loona and Blitz mock how fat Moxxie is...Look at him! He's thin as a pencil! WHO THE FUCK CONSIDERS THAT FAT?! And whats worse, Moxxie has internalised this by saying to Loona in the most recent episode that he lost weight, to which Loona looks up at him and ignores him. Why is this a running gag? What is the reason? It feels so cruel and pointless.

Secondly, his lack of agency. Despite Moxxie being the most intelligent of the team and his name LITERALLY MEANS "fighting spirit." he's still delegated to a damsel in distress or be given the idiot ball so other characters can have more spotlight. In the Spring Broken episode, while Blitz is distracted with Loona and Verosika, Millie and Moxxie put up the slack and carry on the mission, but Moxxie accidentally gets drunk and spends the rest of the episode being an inebriated doofus. Little moments like this are funny but there was and entire subplot in Seeing Stars where Moxxie gets roped into buying demo CDs and merchandise from every hack artist he bumps into in Hollywood and its up to Millie to take charge.

In the Exes and O's episode where we finally meet Moxxie's father and the uncomfortable reunion plus Moxxie's traumatic childhood flashback perfectly builds up to a scene where he stands up to Crimson for forcing him into marrying a dickhead shark and yet Moxxie gets struck down in one shot and wakes up being tied up at the altar. So the one chance Moxxie gets to take down his monstrous father is completely negated. Thats fucking weak.

Isnt Moxxie supposed to be a professional assassin? Have him do more badass stuff. Let him take control of a mission or a rescue. Have another scene like the Harvest Moon festival where he intimidates a villain with a DEMON-KILLING GUN. Or that scene where Blitzo and Moxxie take down a bunch of human agents in Truth Seekers. He has incredibly knowledge of weaponry and technology which are excellent skills for an assassin to have, so USE THEM. Where's this Moxxie?

This issue also ties into his relationship with his wife Millie. Even though M&M have the most stable wholesome relationship in the whole show, half the time it feels like Millie is doing the most physical work out of their relationship. Whenever Moxxie is in trouble, kidnapped, put in danger or held hostage, Millie always bursts in to save the day and that would be fine except it makes Moxxie look like some baby who cant even tie his bow without Millie there. That whole wedding crash scene in Exes and O's was all set up so Millie can burst in doing cool badass fighting and save her husband. Why couldnt Crimson lock up Millie and Blitzo too? Well, we wont be able to have our cool Millie fight scene where she murders a bunch of thugs and do a Shrek reference. It feels imbalanced calling these two a "power couple" where only ONE of them is powerful and the other is just the emotional support noodle boy. And its even worse how Millie so far hasn't been in a situation where she needs support from her husband so we dont see that much of Moxxie being a good husband outside of cute couple banter.

Basically less this and more of this

Lastly, it seems he gets hit with the angst stick too, cos the most recent episode was about his traumatic childhood with his abusive mob boss father and it turns out he isnt even dealt with or killed by Moxxie, the imps just rescue Moxxie and fuck off so Crimson can continue to be more of a problem. Yeah, that's exactly what this show needed. More traumatised men having their abuse being completely glossed over/treated as a joke so we can have our precious status quo. Except the rich white guy, he gets his happy ending.

SPEAKING OF WHICH...

Stolas

Oh god, its time we talked about this fucker.

My issue with Stolas mostly stems from two things: his treatment of the people he's supposed to care about like Blitz or Octavia and his flanderisation from a clingy rich asshole from the pilot who is in a transactional sexual relationship with a low class imp to a precious soft uwu nice guy who tries WEALLY HARWD

Vivzie clearly likes Stolas and she's been pushing for him to be a main character since the beginning, but the problem was Vivzie wants Stolas to be a well-intentioned person WHILST being a barely trying father to his teenager daughter and still being in a borderline SA relationship with a commoner.

Now I like the idea of Stolas being a complex character, theres nothing wrong with a flawed but sympathetic character (which Vivziepop is clearly trying to do). Stolas has made mistakes, he's neglected his daughter, cheated on his wife and put the only person he claims to love in his life in a transactional sexual relationship with a commoner imp, whilst treating other imps with apathy or disdain. These are all great things to unpack with Stolas, giving him the reality check he desperately needs (lets not forget he's a privleged prince of Hell and hes always been rather ignorant) so he can improve and be a better person, not just for himself, but to his daughter and to Blitz, whom he's grown to care about beyond sexual attraction.

BUT NOPE! Lets give Stolas a tragic backstory in the season 2 opener (JUST AFTER THE PREVIOUS EP TALKING ABOUT HOW STOLAS CLEARLY REALISING BLITZ DOESNT RECIPROCATE HIS FEELINGS AND THAT STOLAS MISINTERPRETED THEIR RELATIONSHIP). Lets give him an unhappy childhood, a father who doesnt care about him (yes Vivzie slap on another abusive dad to your characters as a shortcut for the audience to sympathise with them, that'll work), an unhappy marriage to an abusive woman, his relationship of Blitz is now established as a childhood friends trope (although I use the term VERY loosely as the two aren't even friends for more than a day) and instead lets depict Stolas' affair from a messy, complicated dilemma Stolas has to deal with the consequences to a triumphant act of defiance over an abusive wife. And dont get me wrong, Im totally fine with Stolas divorcing Stella, it was clear their marriage even in Stella's first appearance wasnt happy. BUT considering how that whole Circus episode was used to make the audience sympathise with Stolas EVEN MORE than the show was already doing, its overcompensating at this point.

When a show is shoving so many sad tragic scenarios into a character's backstory so the audience can buy merch feel sorry for him, thats a sign the character himself isn't very well written.

Lets also talk about Octavia, his teenager daughter who's bared witnessed to her parents declining marriage careening into divorce and while this is happening, we see Stolas making bare minimum attempts to fix his relationship with her. In Loo Land, we see Stolas taking her to a park she's clearly not interested in going to cos he's too stupid to ask about his daughter's interests and spends half the episode flirting with Blitz. After a talk with Octavia and comforts her afterwards, taking her out of the park and suggests they do something she enjoys. Now, I loved that. It really showed how Stolas can put his horniness aside to help his daughter. BUT in the next episode about them, Stolas dismisses Octavia AGAIN cos hes too focused on arguing with his ex-wife, causing Octavia to run away to the human realm. And sure Stolas is worried sick once he finds out Octavia's gone but when we get into the human realm and both him and Blitz get shoved into a sitcom studio, STOLAS JUST GOES ALONG WITH THIS WHOLE SITCOM SUBPLOT AND AGAIN FLIRTS WITH BLITZ LIKE THE PREVIOUS EPISODE OF THEM INTERACTING DIDNT HAPPEN.

With how anxious Stolas was acting throughout the first act of the episode, you would think that he wouldnt have time to deal with Blitz' sitcom shit and spend the day but NO FOR SOME REASON LOONA'S THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ACTIVELY SEARCHING FOR OCTAVIA. OCTAVIA'S OWN FUCKING FATHER IS TOO INCOMPETENT TO SEARCH FOR HER HIMSELF ALL BECAUSE OF SOME WACKY COMEDIC MISUNDERSTANDING WITH BLITZ. Oh sure, your teenage daughter's missing in the human realm but nah l'll just carry on simping for my imp bf cos HEY AT SHE'S NOT IN DANGER.

Loo Land: Stolas wants to spend a day with Octavia but ends up distracted with Blitz and learns to pay attention to his daughter and support her.

Seeing Stars: Octavia wants to spend a day with her father but Stolas dismisses her because he'd distracted with arguing with his ex-wife, causing Octavia to run off to the human realm, Stolas goes there but spends half the episode watching Blitz in a live sitcom instead of finding his daughter and yet is forgiven for being a neglectful dad.

But its okay cos Stolas and Octavia have a big hug at the end (they dont even get a chance to talk about the divorce btw since this is the first episode featuring Stolas and his family after the divorce) and despite how hurt and neglected Octavia felt by her dad, she's like "ah its no big deal the furry here told me dads fuck up but they mean well so im good now". So Stolas makes the bare minimum amount of parenting and he's forgiven for it cos he TWIES. Not trying hard enough, just trying at all. "Cos hey, at least its better than nothing!"

Vivzie, this plus the amount of abusive fathers youve already got in this show, I think you have daddy issues. You might wanna get that checked out.

So, much like with its female characters: Helluva Boss has serious problems with how it portrays men. The man with shitloads of emotional trauma and abuse is glossed over/never resolved for the sake of drama and protecting the status quo. (Blitz, Moxxie) The soft-spoken male being infantilised to the point he cant even fight his way of a paper bag with his badass hypercompetent wife to help him (Moxxie), the father who does the bare minimum amount of effort for his daughter and is forgiven for it because HE MEANS WELL (Stolas), the utterly RANCID fetishisation of mlm relationships with the endgame couple going from a toxic sexual manipulation/transactional relationship into a forbidden lovers romance (Stolitz) and the rest of the men in the show are either sex-obsessed (Chaz, Fizzarolli) or abusive (Paimon, Blitz' dad, Crimson) cos MEN AMIRIGHT?

Yeah there are a lot of perverts, coomers and abusive dads irl. Im not saying Helluva Boss isnt accurate to that fact. But these are negative stereotypes about men that shouldnt be shoved in our faces all the time. I think the only recurring male demon character so far who ISNT a chauvinistic dick, cruel or abusive is Wally Wackford. I know people pull the "oh theyre from Hell, of course they're jerks" to excuse all of this but thats fine when theyre characters youre not supposed to sympathise with like Crimson or Blitz' dad but its another thing when your supposed to sympathise with characters like Stolas but they're fucking horrible and yet the show constantly treats them like precious babus who did nothing wrong, while the characters who ARE legit sympathetic (Moxxie, Blitz) are dumped pain after pain onto them cos that makes good dramatic scenes for Youtube, not a story.

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/lolotheparagon/712718858369286144/helluva-boss-is-hella-sexist-to-both-men-and-women

#Youtube #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #hb stolas #stolitz sucks #stolas #hb blitzo #hb moxxie #vivziepop critical #mlm fetishization #cw fetishization

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spacedlexi · 3 months

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Wait, people think Carver is the best TWDG villain?? I always thought he was basic as hell, and the fact that he was beefing with an 11-years old girl... Now Stranger on the other hand was great, he was super intimidating and off-putting and I was genuinely so scared he would hurt Clementine. I also liked Minnie for the same reasons (she was so creepy/off-putting), but I still think Stranger is the best villain bc he had a great setup while Minnie was kind of a secondary villain. But going back to Lilly/Carver, I also definitely prefer Lilly over Carver even though neither are my favorite... And now I'm kind of curious how you would rank the rest of the TWDG villains? 🤔

carver being the best villain is a sentiment ive heard for years 😭 im sure its coming from the "S2 is the best season" crowd tho which i also dont agree with 💀

the stranger is an effective villain. hes not exactly the typical villain type people expect. but hes very unsettling and him stalking clementine for who even knows how long through the walkie talkie is 🤢 he really makes me feel sick. she was using that talkie to deal with the loss of her parents, and this fucking creep took advantage of that so hard he was able to convince her to trust him. ugh he makes me feel so gross. and think of all the guilt clem must have about that situation. trusting this freak to help her find her parents, when if she had just stayed then lee wouldnt have gotten bit looking for her, and her parents were already dead the entire time anyway. oof. theres no way that isnt one of the biggest regrets of her life

carver is fine. i definitely think his character wouldve made more sense if they put kenny in that role instead. that way theres less "i am a grown man beefing with an 11 year old" and more "this is a child i helped look out for once, and im gonna make sure shes raised Right". but i agree that carver as he is is just over the top. overly villainous to the point of it being a little comical. like when villains are all tough like that my reaction is usually "god i WISH youd fucking kill me already so i dont have to hear your bullshit anymore do you know how GOOFY you sound??". if it was kenny in that role i definitely think they wouldve been able to tone it back a bit, and him "having a good side" wouldve been way more believable. as he is carver is kind of one note

joan.... definitely the weakest of the bunch. i dont really have much to say about her. david isnt even technically a villain but i definitely saw him as the better antagonist for the season. i mean hes definitely a villain in clems eyes. and is a constant semi-antagonist towards javi throughout the whole season. joans just kinda.. there.. doing things behind the scenes to cause conflict until the final confrontation. and then she can just disappear... okay

i like the way the antagonists work in S4. theres more of a discussion around what actually makes someone a villain and the difference between a person who fucked up and made (very horrible) mistakes, and a person who is straight up a threat. and i like that it connects back to the idea of lee and his murder of that senator. did he do something horrible? yes. did he destroy his relationship to his family? yes. does he regret what he did? i think so. and he definitely has guilt about his fucked up relationship with his wife. in S1 they mention how non-guilty people got sent to prison all the time. while lee is Definitely a murderer, we get to see over the season that hes a good guy who just wanted a family and in a moment of rage and betrayal did something he can never take back. this is why i never hated marlon. did he fuck up and do horrible things? of course. but he was a scared fucked up teen leading a group of other scared fucked up teens. he knows he fucked up, and continued fucking up to cover for his previous fuck ups lol. but he can be talked down. its a shame it ends the way it does, but i really like being able to teach aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly

lilly takes that kenny/carver idea and applies it to a clementine that has grown up and has been looking out for herself (and baby aj) for years now, instead of the 11 year old trying to figure shit out she was in S2. shes too old for lilly to be able to sway her in a way she couldve been more susceptible to in S2, and when lilly finally realizes this she just turns her attention to aj instead, seeing the potential in him (a potential clem does NOT want aj to live up to, wanting him to get to be a kid and not just a survivor, let alone a killer). lilly is fun because you can see in her that she WANTS clementine on her side, and throughout the season progressively realizes that its just never going to happen. both lilly AND clem come to the realization that this person they once considered family is beyond reason, their views too different, and so the fighting begins. their fight at the end of EP3 really feels like a "so its finally come to this" moment for both of them, their final fight. i always shoot her.

whats interesting about minnie is seeing her evolve from secondary antagonist in EP3 to straight up primary villain in EP4. the things shes done, the way shes been broken. she becomes her own downfall, seeing herself as someone beyond redemption. that this is just who she is now, its how things have to be. because if they didnt have to be this way? well then theres a lot more guilt she'd have to deal with. yelling at her in EP4 to just STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE but she has been changed (in her eyes) so irreparably that she cant see any other option. and she progressively sees clem as the one who fucked everything up for her, instead of accepting that it could all finally be OVER. after killing sophie, the delta was all she had left. it cant have all been for nothing. and so she blames clem for taking it all away from her, even tho clem is just trying to protect her family. the family that used to be minnies. and so in her rage she gets bit. something else that she couldve avoided. but shes just too lost to her own downward spiral, unable to be reasoned with. by that point she just wants it all to be Over. and she wants to take tenn with her so she can finally pretend things can all go back to the way they used to be. her, sophie, tenn, and their parents all together again, where no more bad things have to happen to them. shes super tragic and i love her for that. and i love how she holds this dark mirror up to clem. clem struggles to let go of her past too, and the guilt she has over the things shes done and people shes hurt. and that if she cant learn to let go and move on she could get lost to it the same way minnie did. theres a reason clem is so quick to accept her fate, but shes finally able to leave that guilt holding her to her past behind in that barn. and she returns to ericson a much happier and lighter person, so much weight finally lifted from her shoulders. its finally over for her too

so yeah. my fave villains are definitely the S4 ones due to their nuance and layers. then the stranger, then carver, then joan. if i had to put david on this list he'd probably be above carver. but thats mainly because he has more nuance than carver ever did

#S4 addressing themes of rehabilitation makes me sooo happy #twdg #long as post be upon you #replies with lexi #incognito

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yellowocaballero · 3 months

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i dont know if this something you put a lot of thought into but it seems like you might and im curious so, what are some of your favorite themes to write about/the themes that interest you in writing or media?

Oh wow, good question. I put both a lot of thought and very little into the themes of my work. I always sit down and decide what I'm saying, and the meaning of the story, but some things always emerge in the writing. I usually discover what a story is actually about as I'm writing it. It's usually only after I finish the work that I realize what themes I had put in there, which seems like it should be bad. I think this means that a lot of my themes come through subconsciously. They're typically just...things I think about a lot.

I think the one thing I keep on coming back to is *tumblr voice* the mortifying ordeal of being known. That entire article, including the image of walking down a hundred stories of hell before reaching heaven, reconfigured my brain. It's just so damn hard to exist in a world with other people in it. There's an inevitability to hurting each other, but the love's worth it. Playing The World Ends With You at a vulnerable age primed me for obsession with this. That one quote from The Little Prince, ya know.

Generational trauma, cycles of trauma and abuse, and the long-term impact of trauma comes up a lot for me too. How being fucked up makes you fuck up others, the long-term consequences of being fucked up, the coping mechanisms we develop as a result. The ugly side of trauma and mental illness, the way we lash out and hurt people. I talk about escapism a lot, and the impact that has on you and the people around you long-term. This is usually exemplified through amnesia plotlines. This is a deep cut, but the Warchild series by Karin Lowachee had the best take on this I've read in a book.

Non-traditional love. I end up writing a lot of sibling dynamics, but I like creating unnamable and undefinable relationships. A lot of things I write just become very aro and asexual narratives. Love that saves. Love that isn't enough, but it still matters. The other side of love, which is grief.

I could go on. Forgiving yourself. Struggling to determine how to be a good person. How your identity & the intersections of your identity affect who you are. Power and power dynamics. A LOT of man vs self stories, like a lot a lot (I'm not overly interested by villains). The experience of being mentally ill and navigating the world as a mentally ill and/or disabled person. The differences between navigating the world as a man or a woman. I write a lot, so a lot of stuff tends to come up, lol. Roleswaps - fucking, somehow, for some reason, WHY, WHY DO I WRITE SO MUCH OF THEM -

Thanks for the ask, I had to do some self-reflection to answer it! I never really realize I'm writing about these things until I am, again. They're just all part of my framework of how I understand the world. Everybody has those, but when you're a writer it's easier to pull them out and microscope them.

#my asks #my writing #i really like writing experiences different from my own #i think it helps foster a sense of empathy and my own skills as a writer #a lot of my own writing is just informed by a feeling of “irl [and/or in the narrative] nobody gives a shit about this person but I do”#in their own ways dimitri & marc/stephanie brown/fox & clones/diamond & pearl clans #are people who nobody cares about or likes #severe mental illness; poverty; Every Clone Metaphor Ever; indigenous people #idk. didnt fully realize i did that til just now. spite i guess.#dunno what's up with THAT one there's no reason for THAT #oh well

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genericpuff · 10 months

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(about the bell post) i dont know anything about lore olympus but is there something inherently bad in using free stock images? like, thats what stock images are for right? i know that its probably lazy or whatever but is that the only problem? /genuine

Part of the issue with using stock photos is licensing. Like fonts, they're in abundance online and easy to snag for "free", but as soon as you enter commercial work, it becomes a legal minefield. Stock photos typically belong to either individuals or corporations that rely on people buying the rights to those photos to use them; if they don't, they could very well be sued for copyright infringement.

In that respect, emojis fall into a similar grey area. Some emojis are public domain/open source meaning they're free to use for everyone. But many are not. It's why different social media platforms and different phone providers use different emoji's - it's not purely for branding (though that is a factor as Facebook emojis have become distinguishable from Android emojis) but also for ownership.

So, in the legal sense, I do not know if the bell emoji that Rachel used in LO is legally hers to use, or if it's even subject to such laws (it could be an open source image meaning it's free-for-all). I'm hoping for her sake she's not breaking any sort of copyright ownership laws, but I'm also not a lawyer and wouldn't know how to get that information even if I wanted to lmao

Aside from the legal, it's also just... sigh I'm gonna get into more opinionated territory here, but even if something is open source, even if you're legally free to use a stock photo or other tool to create your comic, there's also the ethics/integrity of it. Lore Olympus is not a Canvas comic. It is not an indie hobbyist project. It's a commercial product with multiple people working on it behind the scenes, book deals, merch deals, a TV deal, and an upcoming feature at this year's SDCC, with Rachel headlining alongside Cassandra Claire (Mortal Instruments) and Jeff Smith (BONE). Webtoons is trying very hard to market LO as a 'flagship' series and convince the public that it can stand alongside other literature juggernauts.

What I'm trying to say here is, if Rachel did legally use it, it doesn't make it any less cheap. There's a lot of discussion in the art field over the usage of external tools and assets in art creation, especially here in the west. 3D models, AI shaders, gradient maps - there are tons of things that exist now that stand to benefit artists, but can be abused or used poorly, being used as less of a tool to benefit an artist with pre-existing skills and more as a cheap shortcut to circumvent actual skill/effort.

The bell emoji isn't the heart of the issue I pointed out in that post. If it were an isolated thing, if LO were an otherwise impeccable comic with high-effort art and just one little picture of a bell, it wouldn't be that big of an issue.

But LO isn't that comic. The recipe of its art development week after week has become very cheap and low-effort, and the bell is really just the cherry on top.

And just to make it clear, I do stand by artists being able to use tools that make their lives easier. None of this is to say it's wrong to use stock images, or 3D models, or gradient maps, or whatever have you. Those tools exist to help and can be used in fun and experimental ways to bring new perspectives and life to your work. And I'm not going to scrutinize whatever shortcuts are being used in a comic that's being made for free by a hobbyist or someone who's still learning.

But like all tools, there are still ways to use them to the detriment of your own work, either due to a lack of understanding as to how that tool works, or lack of effort to blend it into your work. It can make it glaringly obvious that third-party assets are being used, and can often distract from what you've drawn (the complete opposite of what most people are trying to achieve).

When I think of art shortcuts and tools being used poorly, I think of Let's Play and its stock photo background characters.

I think of Time Gate: [AFTERBIRTH]'s stiff default 3D models that result in lifeless poses and restricted body types, which I am VERY eager to move on from LMAO

I think of LO's 3D backgrounds with only 1-2 colors thrown in and the characters floating in front of them. Or sometimes no characters at all even when people are speaking.

And of course, I think of the emoji bell, which could have easily just been drawn as a door or an actual doorbell, and not some random grey bell copied and pasted from a Google search.

All that's to say, too much reliance on poorly-implemented assets can take a great piece of work down to a mediocre one. Of course, the assets definitely aren't the only issue with LO, but they are definitely a piece of the problem. There might not be anything 'wrong' with using assets, but they can still be used poorly or result in cheap-looking work and that's primarily what I'm calling out here.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

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mrs-monaghan · 6 months

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https://twitter.com/KnjMyLife/status/1723647553185443894

lol this is your 'gay boy' ? As if saying lead actress wasn't enough he had to specify its 'female'. Yes, typical gay behavior 💀 bro im telling you he's not queer. You are making yourself a fool by believing all those stupid theories by jkkrs.

That's the concept...

That's the conce...

That's the con...

Concept.

I'm guessing you didn't know the meaning of the word so... you're welcome.

As for him specifying female lead... Damn! We see things differently. When u sent that it made me chuckle 😆 coz like u said, did he really have to specify? But I didn't see it the way u did. For me it was the opposite. So how one views that depends on perspective ig. If you anon want him to be straight you will see him as being excited for a female lead. If you are like me who knows he is the furthest thing from str8, then it will just come off funny n a tad sus that he mentioned it. Idk how to explain this very well but see, I dont spend a hefty amount of time analysing pronouns. I just giggled and moved on. I didn't take that to mean it was proof of something.

/sigh/

Enjoy this thirst trap and go to bed anon. You're overthinking...

#jikook antis #jungkook thirst trap #ask shaz #bts ask

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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months

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I’m baaaaack!!

Oh I’ve missed your writing, I just got dragged off due to some stuff irl and having a mini hyper fixation on Eddie Munson-

How are you dear? 🥺 everything okay? Drinking water and eating food? I hope you are!

Would love to see if you could possibly do hcs of all the different ways LJ would comfort you and show you how much he loves you as well as how he’d react to his s/o having gift giving and physical touch be her main love languages!

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack comforting a reader who has gift giving/touch as a love language!

i have one other request in the inbox asides this one but i think imma save it for later since im!! tired.. im doing okay-ish? ups and downs, i will admit the past few weeks i havent been feeling right/like myself but im sure its just a funk or something.. gotta drink more water, though </3 hope you enjoy this anon!

jack is very very clingy himself, like in an emotional sense but also a physical sense... if it were efficient he would wrap himself around you and not let go but unfortunately a lot of things in life would get inconvenienced

a majority of that clinginess comes from his abandonment issues, with only a portion just being a part of his personality

very verbal in wanting to keep you around, and while he may not out right say or ask it, i think sometimes he needs some reassurance from you that youre not going to be going anywhere

will take any chance he can to sling his arm around you, usually just draping it over your shoulders lazily while you guys hang around one another

i dont think hes opposed to hand holding, either.. he has very large hands and theyre warm... sharp claws, though

if anything you might have to ask him to give you space because he wants to spent a lot of his free time with you (and hes got a lot of free time if youre the one in possession of that little box of his); i think sometimes he can get a little overwhelming/overstimulating... i love him but personally i think he could be a little much every now and then

loves leaving you notes, usually leaves some candy with them. typically leaves them in places where he knows you'll find them, like by your keys or at the front door... likes leaving them when he knows youre about to leave for work or any other outing... will still leave them if hes the one leaving for something, although its rare that he needs to head out for something and admittedly i cant think of anything he would need to do/get done that would require him to leave briefly

looooooooooves showering you in affection, especially if you guys are in a romantic relationship; peppers you in kisses and snuggles into your cheek.. hugs, lots of hugs. will take any chance he can get to snake his arms around you. please cuddle him

so i think its safe to say that the physical touch bit is more than satisfied, on both ends

as for gift giving, i gotta say my brain is a little melted so i can tell whos giving and whos receiving, so lets do both!

if youre the one giving gifts to jack hes going to be totally over the moon...! a present? for HIM? is it christmas? is it his birthday? ...i dont.. think he has a birthday, actually... but that aside i think he would adore nearly anything you give him since hes totally obsessed with you. likely keeps it within close reach, be it in his own space, his box, or even in his hair since that functions as a means of storage in my silly hc!!

if hes the one giving gifts i think he would try to slink around to figure out what you like.. if its something more than candy then maybe... this would be one of those rare chances where he leaves the house for something, making sure not to be seen of course. which is easy when he can turn into a puff of smoke at will. honestly knowing him hes probably not going to be able to hold himself back from the gifts, so prepare to wake up to a whole pile of them in the morning... might try his hand at wrapping them but due to his claws theres some holes and slashes... but its the thought that counts..!

though if he needs to hide anything for occasions like birthdays hes not going to be able to keep it a secret... if he doesnt blurt it out hes going to be really antsy and keep checking where ever hes hiding the gifts to see if theyve been found or tampered yet

adding this in because i forgot comforting the reader!! right before i was about to hit post!!

if youre feeling anxious about him leaving or being upset with you i think he would reassure you to the best of his ability

tries to keep the mood light, likely cracks jokes while hes holding your hands... might be slightly rocking your hands back and forth or side to side

looks like the type to kiss tears away... though hes gonna have the be careful about it given that cone nose of his... though him attempting to be gentle while keeping his determination to pepper your face with pecks might be enough to crack a smile from you

literally will not leave you alone until youre smiling

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagine #creepypasta headcannons #creepypasta headcanons #laughing jack headcannons #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack imagine #laughing jack x you

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rinbowaman · 5 months

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Im very curious on what your thots are when it comes to the boys being doms or subs. Ive seen so many times that you post things and then later on we find out similiar happenings with the members like the Sunghoon ice skating post and the Heelel throne chair photo. I want to know what you think. All of the members minus Nikki Please.

This is what I truly think for each member, taking in my own observations from their habits on lives, their personality, their horoscopes/tarot readings (my own tarot readings since i've studied tarot and astrology since gradeschool) and what I know about Korean culture.

Please note, that everything i'm writing is purely just my own personal thoughts on how i perceive the members. i dont know them or any korean men other than some friends i grew up with. this is just all for fun and gossip (it really is) and again, just my own thoughts on how I think they would be like. i do not claim that this is in fact how the enhypen members are by any means. this is purely just my own gut instinct of how i think the boys are like offscreen.

So if I am being quite honest, i personally think that (when paired with their partners) all the boys will be dominant in some form of fashion. There may be different/various degrees on their dominance, depending on each member, but typically, Asian men (even the younger generation) will be somewhat dominant. This ofc does not apply to all of them, there are some Asian men who will be little to extremely submissive, but given the fact that the members of Enhypen are all employed, have fame, are financially stabled (if they're smart and not careless with their money) and have alot of opportunities to expand their networking and career goals, I'd say that all of them will be dominant. Perhaps, depending on the situation or event, they might elude some submissive behaviors, like for instance, if you both are chilling out and watching tv, and if you wanted to watch some particular show or movie, they might be like "fine, watch whatever you want." but when it comes to other things, I feel like they're going to call the shots. I'll explain this below (not in any particular order.)

Lets start with Jay...

So Jay was partially raised in America, is an only child (and is a son, which is a pretty big deal) i point this out because, more than likely, he has been groomed and treated to take a lot of pride and carry out the family name and legacy. Most likely, he's been reminded to always put forth his best effort, work hard, and to do his family name proud, which means he'll be very selective and when it is time to settle down, it will be with a very nice woman who can cook, clean, is educated, and comes from a good family. Career isn't really going to be a big deal to him (i feel like), because more than likely, he'll prefer someone to support him by taking care of the house and everything else while he's working and away. I can see him to be the type to put his foot down on the big things (again, the little stuff he wont care about, i do see him as somewhat easy going and a very gentle type) but when it comes to big stuff or...the intimate things, I see him being very dominant. Not demeaning or anything like that, just assertive and firm. i also see him being the type to be very loyal and dependable with his partner.

Sunghoon:

So, I know alot of fics that I stumble across always depicts Sunghoon as a very sex craved, demeaning and humiliating dominant, like a sex-god type (kind of how like Heethan is) and i know they are just fics (even though there are alot of readers and creators that really do believe him to be as such because of his image/visual) but honestly, i don't think he is like that at all. I think Sunghoon is very shy, timid, and might be a little stand-offish (not in a mean way) i just see him as very anti-social unless he gets to know you. I think with females, i can see him being attracted to ones that are the typical stereotype of korean beauty and of korean heritage (which really is only obtained by surgical alteration/enhancement, for the most part) the whole v-line jawline, big eyes, pale skin, heart shaped lips, and a very calm and well mannered personality. a woman who doesn't curse or has a very bold attitude. I say this, because he would be dominant that likes comfort and little to no-chaos. he wants things to be easy, and like Jay, he'll call the shots on the big stuff, but also on the little things. He might have the last say when it comes to things like what to eat for dinner, what to watch before bedtime, etc. I just see him as a very particular fellow who will put his foot down, again, in a non-demeaning way, just firm and MIGHT (might) remind his partner of their position in the relationship cordially or firmly, depending on the situation. He's a very calm dom.

Heeseung:

Again, alot of fics (mine included....*ahemheethanandheelelahem*) depict Heeseung as a sex craved pervert. Actually, there are alot of content that will post about idol HS as a perverted loser that is either dominant or submissive, and is openly filthy, but in reality, I would say that HS is like Jay and Sunghoon combined. I do personally think (and this is not because of his stage presence, these idols are trained to reflect various sides to fit the image and visual of the band's concept, per company's creative direction) but i do get this vibe that HS, when paired with a partner, is the type that does enjoy intimacy and pillow talk. I personally think that at some point while early in his career, maybe like a year or so after they debuted, I think that he may have had small relations and dated some girls here and there, and experienced intimacy. so with that being said, i feel like he's always been somewhat dom but it has grown a bit more since he debuted and i can totally see him being the type that will be chilled out for the most part, maybe some days he'll have the last say on small things like what to eat, what music to listen to while driving the car, but for the most part would be somewhat quiet, pensive, non-chalant even, and easy going. I see him as the type to keep to himself quite a bit, and depending on his mood. for instance, if you were to sit on his lap or something, i could see him either embracing you or he could sit you next to him and say "sit right here next to me." I get this vibe that he can be big on personal space, not all the time, just some of the time (out of all the members he's the only one that gives off this vibe) and when it comes to the big, impacting decisions, he's just like the other two. very dominant and will call the shots. when it comes to the bedroom, i can see him being the type that regardless, whether you take the lead or not, he'll still be reflecting a certain level of dominance, like telling you to slow down, or go faster, or "take this off" or "put this on" type.

Jake:

Now Jake is one of those members that is notorious for being a sweetheart. and I do think he is a very affectionate and rational type, probably the most open minded out of all the members. I think he would be the sweetest out of all of them to be partnered with, like i can see the other three ahead of him having a certain amount of boundaries, but when it comes to Jake, i feel like he would always be down to cuddle and welcome you with open arms, and might even be the touchy feely type. once you guys established a sound relationship, he'll be bold and less shy, and a bit more assertive even. I think he'd let you have free reign on alot of things, but would be the type to voice his opinion. for instance, he'd be the type to say "this movie again? can't we watch something else?"

again, I think that when it comes to the big decisions, he'll make the final decision, but i feel like he'd be more considerate about his approach. for some reason, with the others, i see them to be far more assertive but with jake, i can see him to be the type to do the whole "look, lets talk about this..." and he'll discuss and even hear you out, but it's really not going to matter because i feel like he'll make the final say. but it's not with ill intentions; like the others before him, i can see him to make the final decision because he's taking alot of major components into consideration that will benefit your guys life. if he gets angry or a bit irritated, i can see him being less considerate and just more "my way or the highway" type. This goes for intimate stuff too.

Jungwon:

Jungwon is young (he's like the same age as me) BUT, this guy does have a sense of confidence he eludes all the time and i feel like sometimes he can be a little cocky (not that he's shown that, i can just see it though) its like a gut instinct, not in a bad way though. I feel like that he'll be more of a playful dom, like if you try to voice out something and he doesn't agree with it, he'll just smile and pinch your cheek and say "cute." its not necessarily demeaning but its a little bit degrading as i can see him being the type to not really take you too seriously, unless you're older than him (i can personally see all the boys to not really care about age, so long as the person fits their ideal appearance and personality.) I remember Jungwon once said he respects and admires IU, the way his face and eyes looked when he said that, i get this feeling that if he was dating a girl that was older, someone who is mature, has some life experience and knows how to take care of him and all responsibilities, i feel like he'd still be dominant but would be very considerate and would take whatever you have to say to heart. he would just respond with the "i understand what you're saying, but we have to do it this way." and thats how he would have the final say. Now with a girl that is younger than him, i feel like he'd be very playful, like a carefree heart and would act very similar the way he does with the fansign's. cheek poking, laughing, giggling, the type that if you get shy and turn your face, he'd put his face right in front to enforce the eye contact. he'd have the final say through smiles and flattery.

Last but not least (since i'm excluding Niki) is Sunoo.

Sunoo:

I think that Sunoo is very much like Jungwon, but not as cocky. Actually, of all the members, I feel like Jake and Sunoo are probably the most humble, truly do. I can see Sunoo being less attentive to looks and more focused on personality. With that being said, i can see him to have the final say on things but it would be through harmless debates or small minor arguments, nothing too serious. I feel like he would be the dom type that would be studious and while discussing it with you, he'd have some very valid points that would be like, eye-opening factors that you hadn't considered. I know he has the image of the cutesy and fox like, diva visual, but in all honesty, i can see Sunoo being the ultra serious and sincere type. I dont know what it is, i feel like that he is not at all like the image he portrays himself, ofc that goes for all the boys, but unlike Sunoo, i feel like the boys stage presence and idol image has some essence of their true personalities. with Sunoo, i feel like he is actually a very smart, and solid person to discuss serious matters with. i can see him still being cute and silly, playful and maybe even emotionally sensitive, but there definitely is a side of him that we don't see and probably never will. i feel like he is a very rational type that will present factors that will influence you to sway his way, and that's the type of dom i think he is. when it comes to pillowtalk, i can see him maybe being a little assertive, but also, i feel like he and jake are the two that can be chilled out during the intimate moments and not as strong dom as their counterparts.

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