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#and we cant seem to get free of it.

kaeyachi · 2 months

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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).

He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.

And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.

No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.

Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)

He needs to be quick.

Efficient.

Perfect.

And so he comes and goes like the wind.

Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.

Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.

He'd rather he never be late ever again.

It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...

" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.

"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.

Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.

He imagines hearing a clock ticking.

Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?

Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.

#kaeyachi randoms #kaeya #kaeya alberich #this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it #kaeya cant stand being IDLE #get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters #and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is #actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber #seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at #angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the #backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW #BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training #give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh #to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready #if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to #just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several #occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is #just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst #silly me ehe #oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh #fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao #i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own #AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO #wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly #lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.

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everythingsinred · 6 months

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Family and the Institution of Alice Academy

Was thinking about this ever since someone (I forgot specifically who, sorry) posed a question like this in the GA discord, asking about (I think) Natsume's extended family or something like that. It was a really interesting concept that I've been thinking a lot about since it was brought up, so here are the thoughts I've accumulated. I'll try to be concise but I have a LOT of thoughts and my brain is messy.

My general opinion at the end of all this thinking I did is that I don't think Academy students typically have very close familial ties after graduating.

I think the most apparent reason for that would be that students are expected to graduate when they are twenty years old. Our main four are exceptions to the rule, coming to the Academy pretty late in life. Most children are taken early, as toddlers or even babies. Natsume, Ruka, and Hotaru's families did all they could to avoid Academy scouting. Mikan was entirely accidental--if she had never met Hotaru, she might have never even found out she was an Alice to begin with. That being said, most kids were separated from their families at a very young age, only to be allowed to reunite with them once they're already adults. For many students, they've been away from their parents for close to two decades.

On top of that, the Academy doesn't allow visitations or phone calls and severely restricts letter communications. Only one child from each class is allowed to return home for one week each year, and that one week does not do much to make up for all the time spent at school.

My point is that by the time students are allowed to see their families again, that familial bond has already been severed, for all intents and purposes. That feeling of closeness and protection no longer exists. Students will feel more closeness and connection to their classmates and even to their teachers than to their parents or siblings, and as a result, I can imagine many graduates not even bothering to visit their families.

While I was pondering this, I made the connection between Academy students and the real life example of a similar situation with Janissaries from the Ottoman Empire. Basically, Janissaries were children stolen from the subjugated people under Ottoman rule. They were taken for the purpose of a "child levy", also known as a "blood tax." Some children were even willingly given by their families due to the possibility of socially advancing, and because the children were promised first class status (sound familiar?). Essentially the children were taken, forced to comply with Ottoman standards and traditions (including forced conversions and circumcisions), and then trained for military service. These soldiers would actually end up being incredibly loyal and efficient, despite likely never seeing their families again.

(Edit: forced circumcisions are particularly heinous when you consider that the children were typically at least 10 years old at the time they were taken.... so.... uh.... not pleasant.... But also interesting that the Janissaries were typically much older than the Alice children at the time of being taken.)

That level of separation doesn't endear ties; it severs them. These Janissaries--very often forcefully taken from their families--ended up growing up with very little connection to their parents or siblings. The feeling of belonging to their previous communities was gone. Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. This was done as a means of creating a strong military force but also to disillusion subjugated communities and tear away their hope. Their children could always be taken; their communities could always be crushed, even without the use of physical force. It's a very effective tool to oppress a group of people.

(There's actually a lot of similarities between Academy children and Janissaries beside the separation of children from their families. They were also paid for their service and were high ranking; the Academy students are given an allowance and many of them, despite being stolen from their families, have a sense of superiority over non-Alices. They feel like they are treasures, and are of higher value and rank. Additionally, Academy students, especially in the DA class, are highly trained and efficient child soldiers, much like the Janissaries. Janissaries are actually a super interesting historical topic and are worth looking into!)

We can even see the effect of this distance when Yuka escapes the Academy and runs away to her family. Yuka was essentially sold to the Academy, with her parents trading her in exchange for money and status. She was very young, far too young to really understand that her parents had abandoned her. As a result, she romanticized her bond with them, and the longer she was separated from them, the more that bond became fantastical. She made many attempts to escape the school to reunite with her parents and she fantasized about seeing them again. When she finally is able to, it's nothing like she imagined. They're cold, and unfamiliar. They don't recognize her. She doesn't know her brothers. They're related, but there's no real connection.

"I shouldn't have come here."

Yuka's is an extreme example, but I'm sure she's not an exception. For most Academy students, the almost 20 years of separation from their parents would be too much to ignore. They would not recognize each other, or be close. I'm sure many parents did not sell their children like Yuka's family did, but the bond between child and family had not been nurtured the way it should have been, resulting in coldness and distance.

Because of that, I doubt most students even bother seeking their families out, or even if they do, it's to visit a few times before starting a new life with a career. That familial bond, now broken, is difficult to repair. The connections people often feel with their families or hometowns is something Academy students instead feel with each other. They are all Alices, all in the same boat together. That feeling of superiority that many kids feel means they view each other as on the same level, and I'm sure that could interfere with family connection as well.

Thus, I don't think there's many multigenerational Alice families out there with close bonds. I don't think families like Natsume's have strong ties with grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Even the sibling bonds at the Academy are stunted, with the Imai and Shouda siblings being the prime examples of that.

The Imai siblings have a significant age difference, yes, but additionally the Imai parents had a very different approach to Hotaru after seeing what happened with Subaru. They refused to hand her over as easily, wanting to show her important things in life and build happy memories for as long as they could. Even when Hotaru does enter the school, it's more than six months before she even comes across her brother, since the high school and elementary school are not integrated with each other and they do not belong to the same ability class. Similarly, the Shouda siblings are in different ability classes but they have a much smaller age gap. Despite this, Sumire refers to her brother very respectfully, indicating that there isn't a particular closeness.

The Imais fight against this divide, and put in genuine effort into rebuilding their relationship, but it's a difficult process, and one they struggle to admit to for a long time and for various reasons. Familial closeness is not encouraged, not even within the Academy.

(Though Natsume's bond with Aoi is exploited and the school does rely on him caring for her to take advantage of him, but ultimately he is kept from seeing her. Thus, that bond is also severed despite being exploited.)

Additionally, it would make sense to me if many Alice graduates decided to, upon having children, avoid scouting, like Natsume's parents did, and thus ended up moving around a lot to escape Academy notice. Moving around like that and laying low means that you're not going to be hosting huge family reunions or inviting relatives over often, even if all the other points were moot.

Finally, I think all this creates further obstacles for Yuka's wish to "have a family." At some point she says that, for normal people, the desire to settle down with someone and start a family is a pretty modest goal, but for Alices it's almost impossible. Escaping from the school, or even graduating, is a struggle. And you can have a kid, but it's likely that child will be taken from you, just as you were taken, and by the time the child graduates, they will have no connection with you. Wanting to be a potential grandparent, for example, might seem like a definite impossibility, since being a real parent is impossible.

It's even more proof that the Academy exists as an institution to subjugate and undermine Alices, as children and then as parents. Ultimately, an Alice never has control, not as a child and not even as an adult. The pain doesn't end once you've graduated; in fact, it never does.

#gakuen alice #ga #my meta #ga meta #azumi yuka #hyuuga natsume #alice academy #yes there are kids who lose their alices and thus leave early #i think those kids might find more luck reestablishing familial bonds #also there seem to be a few powerful and intergenerational families within the alice system #but those families seem rather to be in control of the school... theyd be the puppetmasters essentially #and thus might not be as victimized as normal families like natsume's.... he clearly has no power or control in the alice world AT ALL.#so yes i think those big and powerful families are exceptionally rare and thus not as relevant to this post #theyre not 'subjugated' like most other alice families are... idk how else to phrase that #feel free to hmu with ur thoughts on this topic! its super fascinating to me as yet another example of the academys many atrocities #and one i hadnt even properly thought of to this degree until recently!#its so very fun to discover and consider new aspects of ga lore or implications in the story! i love it so much!#i just cant see myself ever getting tired of analyzing this manga #i didnt actually narrow in on any one character but yuka seems to be the best example of my points so i focus on her the most #if u want we can talk abt other characters and families and discuss how the academy affected those bonds!#what an interesting concept.... im having a blast thinking abt all this rn

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starswallowingsea · 2 years

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So Vanitas no Carte, huh.

This post is brought to you by my late night ramblings in the tags of this post

Spoilers, Theories, and Angst below. You have been warned.

So in the panel linked above, Vanitas says “If I’m going to be killed, I want Noe to do it.” and way back in chapter 9, we have Louis saying something very similar, “If I’m going to die anyway, I want [Noe] to do it.” These are some very obvious parallels for Noe’s whole character arc, and given what happened to Louis, it’s been making me think about what the end of this series will look like eventually.

Okay tumblr won’t let me put these images next to each other to shorten the post, so apologies in advance if this gets long. Anyway, with Louis, he’s had his true name stolen and is essentially “corrupted” and the bourreaus will kill him anyway once word spreads. He’s begging Noe to kill him so he doesn’t have to die at the hands of someone who doesn’t seem him for himself, even as he’s losing a grip on his sense of self. Unfortunately, Noe can’t bring himself to do it. He’s only a kid at this point, after all, and it ends up being his Teacher who does the deed.

Now with Vanitas, we know he has a mark of Vanitas of the Blue Moon on his arm and we know it spreads as he uses Vanitas’ power, slowly taking his humanity away from him. We’ve seen what would happen if he were to exert himself too much with Mikhail in the most recent arc, and we also have it confirmed that Noe has never killed anyone, though we know by the end of the series he’ll kill Vanitas.

I think, based on this, that Vanitas’ mark will continue to spread and eventually try to take over his body, turning him from a human to a vampire and that’s something we know Vanitas doesn’t want. While he hates humans and vampires equally, he values his own humanity and doesn’t want to change into something he isn’t without his ability to control it. Vanitas will begin losing control, and Noe will have to be faced with that decision of kill him or let him live as something he isn’t, as something destructive, or let someone else kill him. But we already know how that decision ends.

With Noe killing Vanitas.

#shay speaks #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vnc spoilers #vnc theory #noe archiviste #vanitas #i have no idea if someone has posted this before but i cant stop thinking about it sooooooooooooooooooo enjoy #also this is in line with cipheral telling me its probably gonna end in tragedy if the author's previous work is anything to go by #but the journey is the best part. we know how it ends but we're all on this ride together watching them grow #and its. very sad knowing that at the end. vanitas will die and noe will kill him. because they do seem to get along for the most part #they both have very tragic backstories and histories and motivations for doing what they do #but alas. it must come to a head eventually #though i think we're quite a ways off from this point still #anyway i'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this! feel free to rb with other theories or commentary on this #its just a theory i came up with last night while looking for a panel to make an 'is it gay' joke on discord

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avo-kat · 1 year

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so, lets see. ive had a pretty good time last year (after august). im doing really, really well.

and yet - i still got things i havent processed. that i merely shoved aside, thinking, well, i already dealed with that before, is any more necessary?

and it was fine, honestly. i am fine. but, occasionally, id remember, id think, id ruminate, id shove it away again. because i am fine, really.

except for this only small, little thing. this one tiny thing i dont wanna think about it, because - well, because it makes me feel bad.

and i dont want to feel bad. i wanted to forget it happened. i wanted to forget what happened, to me. i want to forget what i did and what i didnt do. i wanted to forget the betrayel (somebody elses and mine).

its always gonna catch up to you.

sigh.

#i just dont know what to do or where to go #cant tell my friends due to Various reasons #dont have money to pay for therapy myself #and i alrdy did my free therapy that u only get if u get a Diagnosis #and i cant find any support groups #either irl or online #it doesnt seem to exist? which i cant believe? but also can?#which is shocking #because so so so so many other people deal with this #where do we go from here #its not over once you left you know?#feels like just the beginning #idk im a bit disappointed in myself for still having all these feelings #i dont need them #i dont want them #im fine

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