#and we all want jackie and eric to b friends which is how we get to robin and steve being besties

[elianamarie-blog]

hi can I get a matchup for That 70's Show?

I'm a bisexual 5,7 woman with dark brown curly hair brown eyes and feckles on my cheeks with a hourglass figure.

I'm a ENFP, Griffendor and give off a yellow vibe 💛 I'm a bit ditzy in certain aspects but I'm funny, intuitive and very creative, I sew clothes, draw and paint. I'm Irish and dyslexic. I am a very good listener and give great advice :)

I love fantasy, conspiracy theories and creating characters with complex backgrounds B)

Thank you so much! 🥰💛💛

Hi! Of course you can! :)

I spent a few days thinking about yours because I wanted to make sure I can do the best for you. By the way, you sound really pretty <3 and a badass!

I hope you like your matchup! I'd love to hear back from you.

Steven Hyde x Reader

-Y/n L/n an incredibly popular girl in the small town of Point Place.

-It wasn't just because of her beauty and talents, but because of smart, kind, and full of sunshine she was.

-It wasn't a secret that most of the boys her age wanted her.

-She even outshined the infamous Jackie Burkhart (which she hated.)

-So, when she became a part of the group, she found herself constantly with them, pretty much living in the Forman's basement.

-She grew to like Fez constantly touching and playing with her dark curls. She even gotten used to him smelling it and then always complimenting how good is smelt. (Like coconuts and vanilla)

-There was one particular curly haired, aviator wearing boy who had caught her eye; the only one who wasn't constantly fawning over her.

-Kelso was constantly hitting on her, Eric would make subtly hints on how hot she was, and Fez made no effort to hide his attraction towards her.

-While she found his advances towards her rather cute--and sometimes creepy--she couldn't help but wish that it was Hyde who was hitting on her.

-She saw him hit on other girls in the Hub and at work where they worked together in the record store, but she couldn't help but feel a little pang of jealousy.

-But nonetheless, she kept her distance, respecting that he may not feel the same as she did.

-But, oh, how she was wrong.

-Steven Hyde pulled his infamous move and kept her at arms length so that he couldn't get attached.

-If there is anything he was good at it was hiding his feelings for anybody.

-His aviators helped conceal his feelings--and his red, glazed eyes when he was high.

-She was super cute, especially during casual nights when she would crack jokes and giggle at the stupid stuff Kelso says, or the pranks Hyde pulled on the boys.

-He knew he couldn't be with her; she was full of sunshine and radiance, her inner beauty making her even more beautiful.

-He knew everything about her; her likes and dislikes, especially her love of conspiracy theories (they have talked for hours just talking about it and that's when he started to develop his feelings for her) her love for writing, and even found that she had dyslexia.

-When she came out to him about her bisexuality, he found out that he was the only person who knew because she trusted him enough to not mention anything.

-He was floored that someone who trusted him this much to keep.

- "I have to ask," he said. "Which chick do you find the hottest?"

- "Oh my God, Hyde," she laughed but thought about it for a minute. "If I'm being honest, Jackie. I mean, Donna is gorgeous too and all, but Jackie is a petite, cute little thing and when she isn't being, well, a total bitch, I want to just cuddle with her and squeeze her so tight."

-Steven grinned at her. "Hot."

-Y/n laughing before shoving him off the couch. "You're a pig."

-But she was also very funny and very wise. She was always the first person to help when her friends needed her, the ear to listen to about all their problems, the hands that would help pick up others, the lips that would turn up into a bright smile, making anyone around her smile with her.

-And not to mention that bangin' bod that she had goin' on that was almost damn near impossible for him to look away from.

-For Christmas, she painted him a Led Zepplin painting that was full of colors and shading; a near replication of the actual band themselves, but with a beautiful twist to it...the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given him. He proudly hung it in his room that day.

-But despite how good she was to him, he knew he could never return those feelings.

-He was too dark, too brooding, too independent, too negative, too aggressive and...too much.

-His energy could never match hers.

-He'd never be good enough for her.

-It wasn't until long the group caught on about their feelings for each other.

-They got tired of the longing stares, the dance arounds, and the sad puppy dog faces that they always wore when the other wasn't nearby.

-So they conjured up a plan.

-The perfect time came when Y/n was over in the Forman's basement, watching Three's Company and Hyde had just walked in through the door.

-Fez, Donna, Jackie, Kelso, and Eric all looked at each other before they all stood from their seats.

- "We'll be right back," Eric announced.

- "Alright, where you guys going?" Y/n asked.

- "Uh, nowhere," Fez responded smoothly.

-Hyde eyed them suspicious

-They split off into two groups; Jackie and Donna took the stairs door, locking it.

-Kelso, Fez, and Eric took the basement door, blocking them in.

- "Kelso! Forman! What the hell are you doing?!" Hyde shouted through the door.

- "C'mon guys, let us out!" Y/n called through the basement door.

- "No! Not until you confess your feelings for each other!" Jackie shouted through the door.

- "What?!" The two said together.

- "You think we haven't noticed the way you two are with each other?" Fez asked.

- Y/n looked at Steven before turning her attention back to the two girls blocking the door. "I don't know what you're talking about."

-"Oh, whatever, you are lying!" Jackie said.

- "Just tell her how you feel, man," Eric encouraged.

-After a few minutes of going back and forth with the group, the pair gave up and found themselves standing in front of each other.

- "Is it true?" he asked.

- She looked him in the eyes before nodding. "Yes. W-what about you?"

-He looked at her for a minute before he reached out, grabbing her face and roughly brought his lips to hers, bringing her in a bruising kiss.

-After what felt like a decade, they pulled apart lips swollen.

- "I'll take that as a yes," she said, chuckling.

-He tucked hair behind her ear before pecking her lips one more time. "Yeah," he said breathlessly.

-She smiled before leaning up one more time, kissing him softly, completely entranced by the kiss.

-And man was he a good kisser.

-She wrapped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her back and waist to pull her tight against his body.

- "Finally!" Fez called out from behind them.

-They break away to give him the "go away" look.

-"Now, let's go to the hub."

#steven hyde #that 70s show #that 70's show imagine

[wwoww-au]

Family Business

read on AO3

  Henrik jumped instinctually when he heard a knock on the door of the clinic. He was still getting used to Yan’s frequent visits; the only person who normally stopped by outside of patients was Jackie, and even then those were scheduled. He opened the door and was greeted by the red-haired ball of joy themself.

    "Good afternoon, Henrik." Yan beamed and moved past him into the clinic, only speaking again once the door was closed. "I got those books you asked for." They put their messenger bag down onto the counter and began emptying its contents; two leather-bound books with yellowing pages and ancient symbols etched into the cover.

    "Thank you, Yan. You’ve been a great help," Henrik said. 

    "It’s no trouble." Yan handed the books to the doctor. They then rummaged through their bag again, pulling out a tupperware container. "I also brought cookies. B ate most of them while I was at the Library though..."

    "You didn’t have to..."     Henrik trailed off when he heard a shout from the basement. But this was different from when he normally heard Anti shouting from the basement, this time he sounded... happy? There was a loud rhythmic thumping of Anti running up the stairs before the trap door burst open and he stumbled out into the room. 

    "I’ve made a breakthrough!" Anti was beaming, holding out a piece of notebook paper covered in his messy handwriting. 

    "Anti, as exciting as that is, please check next time you come stomping up the stairs,” Henrik scolded, worry creasing his brow. “What if Jackie had been here? Or someone from the Crime Department? You really ought to be more careful." Still shaking his head, he took the paper from Anti and began reading. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Anti rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and listen. I was poring over that old book of remedies Yan brought over a couple of days ago and after brushing up on my ancient Greek, I was able to translate the recipe for a potion that stalls the symptoms of corruption. Not exactly a cure, but it’s a start."  He turned his attention to Yan, eyeing the container in their hands. "You brought food? You’re the best." He grabbed the container and immediately shoved a cookie into his mouth. 

    Henrik stared in awe of the notes, a small smile tugging across his face. "This… this could actually work! Anti, you’re brilliant."

    Anti swallowed and looked sheepishly at the floor. "It’s not a big deal. Just trying to keep myself from fully corrupting, is all."

    "Not a big deal?" Yan’s eyes lit up. "You’ve managed to find the first step to a corruption cure, that’s incredible!"

    As Henrik continued poring over the notes, his eyebrows furrowed. "As incredible as this is, it’s going to be extremely difficult for me to get these ingredients. The only place I could possibly get most of these things is Derekson's, but I'd have to get Jackie to escort me. Not to mention the Committee would find it suspicious…"

    Anti shrugged, taking a bite out of another cookie. "No problem, I’ll swing by later to grab everything you need to start making this thing."

"Are you sure? It might not be safe for you to be walking out and about."

"It'll be fine, I'll wear a scarf. You worry too much," Anti said, scratching at his neck wound. Henrik sighed and left the room, closing the door to the apartment behind him. "Yandere, you wanna come with?"

"Sure." Yan hesitated. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Derekson's," Anti said. Yan still looked confused, so he continued. "It's an apothecary across town. The guy who runs it is under Committee surveillance, too." He glanced over at the apartment door and lowered his voice. "Apparently, all of his children were born mundane, and he tried to turn them into wizards by himself. Ended up killing all but one. The only reason the Committee hasn't thrown him into a prison cell yet is that he's such a talented potion maker."

"That's horrible," Yan muttered.

"Yeah..." Anti trailed off. "But he’s the only one who has what we need to make our potion. So I hope you don’t have any plans this afternoon, because we’re leaving as soon as I finish these cookies." He turned and walked back down into the basement, taking the whole container with him.

.

.

.

The walk to the apothecary was surprisingly tense -- Anti had insisted they walk there, not wanting to spend even a few minutes on crowded public transport. He spent the whole time looking over his shoulder and tugging on his scarf like it was suffocating him. 

"Are you okay?" Yan asked, sensing how nervous he was. 

"I'm fine." He glanced at them over his sunglasses. "I just don't like walking around during the day. Too many people. I feel like they're all staring at me." Yan opened their mouth to say something comforting, only for Anti to cut them off. "We're here."

Yan looked up at the building they stopped in front of. It was a brownstone, the worn bricks painted green. A few strange-looking flowers and herbs grew in the windowsills. Above the door was a wooden sign that read "Derekson's Apothecary: family-owned and operated since 1812." Yan quickly followed Anti up the steps and into the shop.

The shop was empty when the two walked in. A wooden counter stretched around all sides of the room. Tall shelves filled with glass jars and bottles lined the walls behind the counter, each containing loose ingredients or brightly colored liquids. A rolling ladder was attached to the shelves, and in the center was a door marked "employees only".  It reminded Yan of a candy store, only instead of chocolate and jellybeans, the jars were filled with dried herbs and what looked like eyeballs.

The back door swung open and a man in a patterned shirt walked out, putting on a big smile when he saw the two standing in the shop. He was followed by a teenager with similar features, walking on a pair of crutches. The teen stood in the back, staring at the ground while the older man walked towards the counter.

"Welcome, welcome! What can I do for you today?" said the man, whose nametag identified him as Derek. He gestured to the shelves behind him. "We carry potions for any and all circumstances. One that turns any creature into a harmless goldfish, one that can make your flower garden into your own personal army of floral warriors, one that makes the drinker fall in love with the first person they see for 24 hours. I know that one is popular with you young folks." He winked at Yan, and they only scoffed in response. He hesitated before starting his sales pitch again. "You two don't work for the Committee, right?"

"No?"

"Good! Because here I have a few things that blur the lines between potion and poison-"

"We don't need any of that!" Anti snapped, clearly running out of patience with the overzealous salesman. "We just need these ingredients." He pulled a list from inside his coat and handed it to Derek.

Derek gave a dejected sigh and took the list, turning and climbing the ladder to retrieve what they needed. He quickly maneuvered the shelves, seemingly knowing where everything was despite all the jars being unlabelled. He came back down only a few minutes later holding a few jars, piling them all on the counter. 

"Is that everything?" Anti asked.

"Not quite," Derek said. "Some of the things you're asking for are highly dangerous, so I don't keep them in the front of the shop. Eric." He turned to the young man behind him, who flinched in surprise upon hearing his name. "Can you get the rest of this fine customer's order from the back room?"

"Yes, Dad," Eric muttered.

"I can help you with that," Yan chimed in, hesitating when they saw how stunned Eric looked at the gesture. "If you're alright with that."

"Sure," Derek said, waving his hand. "Just don't touch anything you're not supposed to." Yan moved around the counter over to Eric, smiling and opening the door for him. He gave a reluctant smile and went inside, Yan following shortly after.

The backroom was essentially just a kitchen. A few small cauldrons were simmering on top of an electric stove, empty glass bottles crowding the counter next to it. The linoleum floor was covered in shimmering, multicolored stains. A few barrels were pushed up against the back wall next to a staircase leading up to the second floor of the house. The walls were lined with cabinets, many of which were padlocked.

Eric hobbled over to the cabinets, leaning his crutches up against the counter and leaning against it for balance. He pulled a ring of keys from his pocket, unlocking one of the cabinets. Before he opened it, he turned to Yan. "Oh, right," he mumbled, as if he had forgotten Yan was there. "You can, uh, grab the fireroot for me. It's in the fridge." 

"You got it." They smiled, walking over to the fridge and opening it. It was filled to the brim with potion bottles, as well as a few leftovers in tupperware containers. 

"So, what's all this for, anyway?" Eric asked, before immediately looking away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's alright." Yan walked over with the bundle of fireroot he asked for. "We're working on, uh… medicine. For someone who's sick. My friend's a doctor and he asked us to pick up some supplies for him."

"That’s weird. I’ve never heard of medicine with these kinds of ingr-" He cut himself off with a strangled cry. His legs suddenly buckled out from underneath him, and he gripped onto the counter for support. He shakily lowered himself to the floor, back against the counter. He scrunched his eyes shut and suppressed a pained whimper, pulling his leg to his chest.

Yan dropped to their knees in an instant. "What's wrong?" they asked quickly. "Do you need me to get your dad?"

"No!" Eric yelped, eyes wide. "It'll only make him upset… I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a minute."

"What's wrong?" Yan repeated, more gently this time. 

Eric bit his lip, looking at the door to the shop and back at Yan. "You know what my dad did, right?" They nodded, remembering the story Anti told them. "The ritual he used to try and make me a wizard, it didn't work, but-" He rolled up one of his pant legs, revealing unnatural scars twisting up his leg. They looked like burns, only iridescent and an unpleasant shade of green. Yan clapped a hand over their mouth. He covered the scars and curled in on himself. "Dad says it's a form of corruption. It flares up every now and then," he continued. He gave a feeble smile. "It's almost funny. I'm not even a wizard and I still managed to screw up and get corrupted."

Yan winced, sensing a wave of sadness and guilt coming from Eric. "Hey, that’s not your fault. None of that is,” they said, trying to console him. They were quiet for a moment, mulling over what they were about to say. They lowered their voice.  "I think I have a way to help you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, that includes your dad. " 

Eric looked back with confusion before simply nodding.

Yan glanced at the door before speaking,  "A friend of mine is working on a cure for corruption. I know it sounds impossible, but we’re making progress. It will take some time before we have an actual cure, but once we do, we’ll be able to help you. "

 "You- you’d really be willing to help me?" Eric said. He gave them a weak smile.

Yan smiled back, opening their mouth to reassure them before being cut off by yelling from the front of the shop.

"Eric! Hurry up!" Derek yelled. "We have a customer waiting!"

"Oh no..." Eric muttered before yelling back, "I’ll be right out!" He grabbed the edge of the counter, wincing as he scrambled to his feet. He grabbed his crutches, gesturing to Yan to pick up the miscellaneous items on the counter before going through the door. They placed them on the check-out counter before walking back over to Anti, who looked down at them over his sunglasses.

Derek looked over at Eric, drumming his fingers on the counter with impatience.  "What took you so long?" he said, barely containing his frustration. 

"I- uh," Eric stammered, trying to avoid eye contact with his father as he began to pack all the items into a box. "I couldn’t find the time cacti needles they needed, m-must’ve put it in the wrong cabinet when I was organizing."

"Yeah? Well, next time double-check to make sure everything’s in the right place." Derek turned to Anti, his glare turning into a smile as he rattled off the prices for everything, occasionally slipping in a sales pitch for other potions. Anti ignored his rambling, placing a stack of bills on the counter and taking the box of ingredients from Eric. He promptly dropped it into Yan’s arms and quickly made his way out of the shop. Yan gave Eric one last smile before following after.

.

.

.

"God, I hate that Derekson guy. Did you see the way he talked to his own son?" Anti scoffed. The two were walking back to Henrik’s clinic now, Anti a little more relaxed now that the streets weren’t as crowded. "What were you and that Eric kid doing back there, anyways?"

"Just talking," Yan said. They decided it was best if Anti didn’t know they’d told Eric about the corruption cure. 

"Of course you were." Anti smiled. "You have a real knack for befriending everyone you meet, huh?"

"I guess so." They smirked. "I managed to befriend you, didn’t I?" They nudged him with their shoulder. 

Anti chuckled. "Yeah, yeah you did." The two kept walking, keeping up some light conversation to pass the time. Yan was in the middle of recounting the time they and B had gotten lost in a cave somewhere in the geography section at the Library when a man jogging by them accidentally bumped into Anti. "Hey, watch it!" he yelled at the man before turning back to Yan. They were about to continue their story when they felt a sudden surge of mixed emotions from behind them. Disbelief, sadness, joy. 

"Chase?"

Anti froze in place. He chanced a look back, his heart sinking when he locked eyes with the man behind him. He stared at Anti as if he had just seen a ghost, the faintest smile pulling at his lips. His eyes were sunken yet bright, brown hair poked out from under his beanie. He looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in months. He surged forward, wrapping his arms around Anti and pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my god, Chase! It’s been so long, I thought I’d never see you again!" He laughed.

Anti finally moved, shoving the man off of him and taking a step back. "I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else."

"Are you kidding? I’d think I’d recognize my best friend."

"I’m sorry, but I have no idea who you are," Anti growled.

"It’s me, Sean! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for years." The man, Sean, reached out to Anti. Tears started to fall when he flinched away. "You just disappeared, and I was beginning to think- everyone thinks you’re dead, Chase."

"Anti," Yan said softly, wincing from the waves of intense emotion coming from the two men. "Who is this?"

"Anti? Your name is Chase!" Sean yelled. He grabbed his head, struggling to make sense of what was happening. "You’re my best friend! Fuck, we have matching tattoos!" He quickly rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing a trident-shaped symbol. Yan recognized the symbol; they had seen it tattooed on Anti’s right arm before. Sean kept yelling, tears pouring down his face. "What happened to the friend who promised he’d always be there for me? What happened to the guy who would never abandon his family no matter how hard things got? What happened to you, Chase?"

"I'm not Chase," Anti snapped, low and dangerous. "Now, I need you to leave me alone before I do something I regret." 

Yan looked down to see his hand was glitching with red and green magic. "Anti." they grabbed his arm. "Please, don't."

Anti looked over at them, then back at Sean. "Yan, we're leaving." He turned to go.

"If you’re going to go, you should know Stacy remarried," Sean said. He averted his eyes from Anti, tears still falling down his face. "Nice guy, he’s a tennis instructor or something. The kids are doing well in school; Emma's been filling out college applications. They still ask about you sometimes. They do miss you, you know. Stacy too."

Anti stood for a moment. "Come on, Yan, let’s go home," he said, lifting an arm to wipe at his eyes with his sleeve. He walked away from Sean, not bothering to look back.

.

.

.

The walk back to Henrik's was tense. Neither said a word until they got back. Anti opened the door to the clinic, immediately locking eyes with Henrik, who was sitting at his desk going over the notes again. "How'd it go?" he asked, standing up. Anti stayed quiet, storming past him and wrenching open the trapdoor. He slammed it behind him, and moments later the two upstairs heard him start yelling. It was a heartbreaking sound, laced with anger and sorrow. The sound of anything he could get his hands on colliding with the floor soon followed.

"What happened to you out there?" Henrik said, wincing at the sound of something glass shattering below. 

Yan placed the box of ingredients on the desk, gently wiping fresh tears from their face. The emotion coming from Anti and Sean had been too much for their ever faltering emotion magic, and they had started crying from the sheer amount of sorrow coming from the two. "Everything at the store went fine. But on the walk back, we ran into a man named Sean," they spoke softly. They looked up at Henrik, seeing a flash of recognition on his face. "Henrik, who's Chase?"

Henrik sighed, gently removing his glasses and rubbing his face. "Chase is someone who Anti was a long, long time ago," he hesitated, looking down at Yan with regret. "It's not my place to tell you about his past. I'm sorry. You really deserve to know more, but-"

Yan held up their hand. "I understand." They pulled him into a hug.

Henrik froze at the sudden contact, then gently placed his arms around them. "It would probably be best if you went home. You don't want to see him like this."

Yan pulled back, giving a weak smile. "I'll see you next week. Call me when he's feeling better."

"Of course," Henrik said, watching as Yan walked out the door. As soon as they were gone, he sighed, leaning against his desk. He wanted nothing more than to get a drink, wait it out until Anti's rage faded, but he knew that wouldn't be good for either of them. He walked over to the center of the room, gently opening the trapdoor before heading down the stairs, bracing himself as the noises got louder. He gasped when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

The room was in complete disarray. All the books that had been precariously balanced on Anti’s desk were thrown to the ground, papers strewn everywhere. The desk chair was knocked over; all the dirty plates and glasses that he had hoarded in his room were in pieces on the floor. His knife was buried in its usual place in the wall next to the doorway. The only thing left untouched was the murky green jar on the desk, where Sam was repeatedly bumping his eye against the glass in an attempt to get Anti's attention.

Anti himself was hunched in the center of it all. His jacket and scarf were discarded on the floor. His sunglasses lay against the wall across the room, one of the lenses missing and the other shattered. His entire body was glitching. He was scratching at the wound on his neck. 

Henrik quickly moved next to Anti, careful not to kneel on any broken glass. "Are you alright?" He spoke softly. Anti breathed heavily, barely acknowledging the man beside him. Henrik reached out, gently placing a hand on his back and rubbing circles. Even through his gloves, it felt like touching a broken tv screen. Slowly, Anti's breathing evened out and he removed his hands from his neck.

It felt like an eternity before Anti spoke. "I miss them so much." 

"I know," Henrik said, barely above a whisper. 

Anti looked back at him, his mind racing with a million things to say. He decided to stay quiet, just this once. He leaned against Henrik, letting the silent sorrow wash over him.

#wwoww anti #wwoww yan #wwoww henrik #wwoww derek #wwoww eric #wwoww story #antisepticeye #henrik von schneeplestein #yandereplier #eric derekson #derek derekson #wwoww chase #wwoww sean #chase brody

[thestupidhelmet]

Do you think that hyde really loved donna is season 1 i mean he was acting diferent towards donna than he was acting towards jackie do you think that hyde would've act the same way if he dated donna like he did with Jackie

Hyde’s characterization got an almost total overhaul in season 1 once the non-triangle triangle story (Hyde/Donna/Eric) was finished. We essentially get two versions of Hyde in season 1. So with that in mind, I’ll answer this question discussing both versions of him.

The first version (pre-”Prom Night” [1x9]):

Hyde’s romantic “love” for Donna is selfish. He knows she’s romantically interested in Eric and vice versa. They even talk about it, yet all he cares about is getting what he wants. He ignores how she feels and what she wants the whole time he pursues her, ignoring her direct rejections and a) forcing a kiss on her and b) crashing her first official date with Eric, stating he believes she has (romantic) feelings for her despite her already telling -- and showing -- him that she doesn’t.

If Hyde treats her this way before they’re in a romantic relationship, I fear how he’d treat her during one. I think he’d be an abusive boyfriend, emotionally manipulative, controlling, and quite possibly worse.

The second version (”Prom Night” and after -- or real!Hyde):

In an alternate universe where Donna has romantic feelings for Hyde, he’d be a good boyfriend to her. Being truly in love with her, he’d wait patiently until she was ready to have sex. I think he’d be less anxious and frustrated about it than Eric is, in part since Hyde isn’t a virgin -- also, in part, since Hyde loved Donna since at least middle school.

Unlike Eric, Hyde wouldn’t talk or complain to his friends (in the circle or elsewhere) about not having sex with Donna yet. He’d just enjoy what he and Donna do do sexually because he’d be so happy to be loved by her (and spend non-sexual time with her). 

He’d give her emotional support as she dealt with her parents’ crumbling relationship. She’d support him, too, while he dealt with his mom’s abuse and absences. She’d probably do for him what Hyde does for Jackie in “Bring It On Home” (5x19) once Edna leaves for good: give him a safe place to sleep. Since he respects her boundaries sexually, she wouldn’t fear him taking advantage of her in that situation.

Then Bob would catch him in Donna’s bed, threaten to call the police, and Donna intervenes by suggesting they talk to Red instead.

Bob: Red ... yes. He’d be meaner.

Which ends up getting Kitty and Eric involved, too, and that’s how Hyde moves in with the Formans’.

Hyde and Donna would definitely have their rough patches, though. Neither of them are great communicators, whereas Eric and Jackie are better at initiating conversations. When they fight, it would involve shouting and shutting down.

Donna doesn’t hold back on the insults when she feels disrespected. Hyde suffered a lot of verbal abuse from his mom -- so he’d shout back, not in a cruel way but sarcastically (as he did to his mom) before walking away from the argument and Donna.

He’d need time to cool off, and he’d need help -- from Kitty, from Eric, even from Red (strange as it sounds) -- to learn how to deal with his feelings in a healthy way instead of internalizing them, where they get sucked into the black hole of his childhood emotional wounding.

Donna would also have to teach him that just because she gets angry sometimes, it doesn’t mean she’s going to abandon him like his parents did. And Hyde would have to tell her to express her anger in a way where he doesn’t feel devalued.

I think their relationship could work in the long term, but they’d have to do a lot of emotional work on themselves (and together) to make that happen. Theirs would be an intense relationship, with high highs and low lows.

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Hyde x Donna #Donna x Hyde #Donna Pinciotti #Ask #Anon #My Meta #My Essay #Meta #Essay #Hyde and Donna #Donna and Hyde #Steven Hyde

[berlysbandcamp]

Force Majeure is an uplifting suite of real, soulful comfort music – an album that cathartically encapsulates an all-too-familiar human experience of 2020. Featuring 11 pieces performed by bassist Dezron Douglas & harpist Brandee Younger across a series of live-streamed shows from their living room in Harlem, NY, the album was self-recorded by the duo using just a single microphone. The same day Governor Andrew Cuomo shut down “non-essential” businesses throughout the state of New York, Douglas & Younger set up a window to the world that would prevail as a weekly musical reprieve over the devastating weeks and months to come. As the early effects of covid-19 plagued the citizens of New York City, Douglas & Younger did as we were all ordered to do — shelter-in-place. From their apartment in Harlem, their reflex as players and community-builders was immediate. Broadcasting via social media and spreading the word to friends and family, the duo hosted “Force Majeure: Brunch in the Crib with Brandee & Dezron,” a Friday morning live stream where they performed songs, said “hi” to friends tuning in, and passed a digital tip jar. The name “force majeure” — known to diligent contract-readers as a seldom-invoked bit of legalese that voids commitments in event of “extraordinary circumstances” — was, for Douglas & Younger, a reference to the sudden loss of livelihood that they and their musician peers suffered in the wake of covid-19. “We vowed to become a part of the resiliency of this city,” says Douglas. “You can take the work away, but you can’t stop musicians from being creative. Live streaming is just a part of it. The world as a whole saw that arts & entertainment is an integral and vital part of this ‘service’ city. We, musicians and creatives, are as essential to this city as the MTA is. The NYC community responded with love and honesty on a high level. Expression became vital for people to make it through the day and, at the same time, listening and watching expression became vital.” The success of Douglas & Younger’s initial live streams turned their series into an ongoing weekly ritual for a fast-growing audience of supporters. For most, it was a momentary musical break that helped ease the stressful weeks of lockdown, even as the weeks turned into months and the re-opening date extended further and further into the future. In late May, as the country erupted over the compounded murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and countless other Black Americans, Douglas & Younger continued to connect from their Friday morning platform, uniting with more and more people through the healing power of playing, sharing, and listening. The series got attention from NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Boiler Room, Downbeat, and others; but regardless, finding the creative energy to devote to the project was a regular challenge for the two musicians. “Sometimes it was hard to be creative because the mood in the world was so dark, but every Friday we felt compelled to give back and allow GOD to heal through vibration,” says Douglas. Not only was the human connection vital, the duo felt a responsibility as stewards of music’s future. “Whatever the next thing is, I will make it a point to be involved because Music saved my life, saves lives, and must be taken care of.” The repertoire that Douglas & Younger performed began with standards they knew and music they wanted to learn (or “get inside of,” as Douglas often said), but evolved on a week-to-week basis to incorporate shifting emotions, milestones, and special requests from friends and family. Younger recalls: “In choosing the repertoire we played, it was definitely more organic and personal. When we realized a birthday of a certain artist or holiday was coming, we'd do something in dedication… Sometimes we'd pick the rep based on our mood. On those very dark days that Dez mentioned, we'd play “Sing" to perk up the mood. Something about that song just brings smiles all around. It was very hard to fake when the mood was dark, though. Marvin Gaye helped us out a lot during that time, as did some spirituals.” With what became their brunch staples they covered a broad range of memories and sounds, including classics by The Stylistics, The Jackson 5, Alice & John Coltrane, Pharoah Sanders, Kate Bush, Sting, and The Carpenters, as well as a co-written original composition with which they ended every set, “Toilet Paper Romance.” From the earliest sessions, the duo worked alongside International Anthem to review the weekly recordings; together they compiled, edited, and eventually arrived at the stream-to-songbook of Force Majeure. Between the choicest takes of tunes chosen for the final album sequence, they put excerpts of their sometimes cute or comedic, often profound banter. Notably Douglas’s voice ends both side A and side B with off-the-cuff variations of: “Black Music cannot be replicated, it can only be expressed.” Like poetic bookends for Force Majeure, his words could also serve as foundational principles for the work, underscoring the importance of authenticity and integrity in music. Douglas elaborates: “Black Music, no matter what genre, is exactly what it is — Music created by Black Musicians for the sake of vibrating on our own frequencies of understanding and empathy. I love all music, but I also recognize that music is a cultural and regional vibration. You don’t have to be Black to play Black music, but if you are out here making money off of Black Culture and have no empathy for the People and the Culture then you are even more part of the problem. Black Lives Matter because for a long time our lives didn’t matter and it was Normal — normal to society and normal to us as Black humans. What’s different between then and now is the fact that the Virus has given people time to focus on the current social media platform used to document evil in this world. The filming and documentation of the loss of human life to evil is more powerful than Politics and Government. It’s LIFE showing us how Inhumane we are as a Human Race. Yet we still haven’t figured it out yet. Let’s hope we aren’t the catalyst for this planet to implode. That would be unfortunate considering we have the chance to fix it. We have the chance to do right by Mother Nature and we have the chance to do right by each other. We always have a chance. Change is inevitable, but is evil and selfishness and self-righteousness a part of change? Certainly! Is Love and Empathy and Humanity a part of change? Most definitely! What side are you on? We are on the side of Love.” Douglas & Younger understand that the revolution begins with a transformation of the heart. And for the heart to be transformed, it must be lifted up. “This album is a testament to the power of music to uplift us through the most challenging times,” says friend, collaborator, and fellow International Anthem recording artist, Makaya McCraven. Force Majeure is an uplifting suite of real, soulful comfort music – a spiritual salve, emanating warmth from the hearth of a Harlem sanctuary. - bio by Joe Darling & Scott McNiece - Bassist, composer, bandleader, and educator Dezron Douglas has established himself as a major force in contemporary creative music. A protégé of the great Jackie McLean, the Downbeat Magazine 2019 Rising Star is known for his work with Pharoah Sanders, Ravi Coltrane, Cyrus Chestnut, David Murray, Louis Hayes, and also with piano legends George Cables, Eric Reed, Mulgrew Miller and Benny Green. Douglas has recorded on more than 100 albums, contributing to the artistry of numerous bandleaders and maintaining an integral presence in the sounds of his peers, which include Keyon Harrold, Jonathan Blake, Melanie Charles, and Makaya McCraven. He is an active music educator, currently on the Jazz Studies faculty at NYU Steinhardt. He has released 6 albums as a lead artist and maintains a variety of projects that he uses as platforms for his compositions. His band, Black Lion, released their latest single “COBRA” in October of 2020. Harpist, composer, educator, and concert curator Brandee Younger is known for her work with Ravi Coltrane, Moses Sumney, Lauryn Hill and producer Salaam Remi. The New Yorker has described her instrumental craft as “radiant playing ... as cogent on hip-hop and R&B albums as it is set against classical and jazz backdrops.” Her work often extends to illustrious heights, featured by Beyoncé in Netflix’s concert documentary Beyoncé: Homecoming as well as Quincy Jones and Steve McQueen in 2019’s “Soundtrack of America” series. She recently joined the harp faculty at NYU Steinhardt and the New School in Manhattan. When Alice Coltrane passed away in 2007, her son Ravi Coltrane asked Younger to perform at the memorial. Her performance “moved me and everyone in attendance from the first glissando,” Coltrane told the New York Times. “No harpist thus far has been more capable of combining all of the modern harp traditions — from Salzedo, through Dorothy Ashby, through Alice Coltrane — with such strength, grace and commitment.” Younger recently signed to Impulse! Records, with whom she has a new album planned for release in 2021. Douglas & Younger are long-time companions in life and in music. The two East Coast natives met early in life and have accompanied each other, personally and professionally, through equally prolific careers. “Brandee and I met in college, University of Hartford, Hartt School of Music, back in 2001,” remembers Douglas. “Her practice room was across the hall from mine. We began a friendship instantly through music and Black culture. We would jam a lot in college when she wanted to practice ‘Jazz.’ She was a Classical Harp and Music Business double major and she was heavily influenced by Jazz and Black Music so I sort of became an outlet for her to walk on the wild side in the eyes of University and Classical politics.” To this day, Douglas and Younger often accompany each other in the ensembles they lead, respectively. The two have played together in the Ravi Coltrane Quartet, with The Baylor Project, and in sessions for Makaya McCraven’s 2018 release Universal Beings, on which they are both featured artists. Force Majeure is their first release as a duo.

#jazz #cosmic #black music

[zen3to5]

J/H 7-22: 2000 Light Years From Home

No more partial scripts - from here on out, it's Page One rewrites until the finale.

So, Eric's been on a different track to teaching in this timeline, but is the destination any different? And what happened to Jackie and Hyde - I thought this was supposed to be a Zen rewrite? Well, read on, friends. Read on...

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   The gang, hanging out. JACKIE ruffles around in the deep freeze, HYDE reads a magazine in his chair, and DONNA and FEZ watch TV from the couch.   KELSO enters from the basement door and throws himself down in the lawn chair.   KELSO: Okay, I'm breaking up with Angie. All we have anymore is hot sex.   FEZ: Hot sex? All I have is hot soup. Can't make love to that. Too damn hot.   DONNA: So, Kelso, you gonna break up with her your usual way - send a note saying you got kidnapped by kung fu robots?   KELSO: No, it won't work with her. She doesn't even believe in kung fu robots. Just gonna have to talk to her.   DONNA: Wow, Kelso. I thought your usual Plan B was to have one of us tell the girl you're dead. And then when she eventually sees you, you have us tell her you're a ghost.   Jackie crosses across the room to stand behind Kelso.   JACKIE: Michael, why don't you do what you did with me: toilet paper my house!   She smacks him upside the head, then steps back to lean on the door.   KELSO: I can't do that to Angie. I respect her too much 'cause she agreed to have sex with me so fast.   ERIC enters from the stairs. He has a stack of papers in his hand and a glum look on his face.   ERIC: Hey! Bad news.   KELSO: Your mom changed her mind about making blueberry cobbler?   FEZ: No, she made it. I would know – I ate it. All of it.   Eric, ignoring them, jumps over the back of the couch to sit next to Donna. He throws the papers down on the coffee table.   ERIC: No. I’ve been working on a budget, and I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to pay for college.   DONNA: Didn’t your parents hang on to your college money after you had to stay home the last time?   ERIC: Yeah, but – see, remember how I sold your engagement ring to pay for my year off?   JACKIE: How could we forget? Donna made jewelry history – the world’s smallest diamond for the world’s worst wedding.   ERIC: Well, the pawn shop must have thought so too, because it turns out what you get for a used engagement ring isn’t enough to support yourself for a year – even with living at home with your mommy. And after calling her “mommy” and going to a macramé class, my mom turned over my college account to me without telling Red. I started using that money to get by, and now there’s not enough left to pay for college.   DONNA: Eric, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to get money for school.   HYDE: Yeah, man. You could always get a football scholarship.   JACKIE: Hey, look, he weighs about as much as a football, and people do like to kick him.   She crosses the room to sit in Hyde’s lap, stopping to pat Eric on the shoulder on the way.   FEZ: (to Eric) I know what you should do. You should go to Hollywood and become the next Gene Wilder. That guy's a laugh riot.   JACKIE: You know, Eric, we all had to meet with the guidance counselor before the end of high school to talk about college. Maybe you should go see him.   DONNA: Yeah. Finding money for college is what high school guidance counselors do.   HYDE: Yeah, they also spend a lot of time staring at themselves in the mirror saying, "I can't believe I'm a high school guidance counselor."   ERIC: The high school guidance counselor? Who is that? Is that still Mr. Bray? (Jackie nods) I don't know about Mr. Bray. I don't think he really liked me. One time I told him I was being bullied, and he just said, "what'd you expect?"   JACKIE: Look, Eric, Mr. Bray asked to see me tomorrow about an opportunity for my public access show. Why don’t you come with me to my appointment? I’m sure he’ll help. He loves me. In almost entirely appropriate ways.   Hyde gives Jackie a look; she looks back and shrugs.   KELSO: Hey, people, how’d we get side-tracked? We’re forgetting what’s really important here – how I’m gonna break up with Angie.   HYDE: (to Kelso) Look, I don't care how you do it. I'm just happy you won't be violating my sister anymore.   KELSO: Yeah, I know you hated it, Hyde. I would have broken up with her sooner if I didn't find it so hilarious.   Hyde crumples up his magazine and chucks it at Kelso, beaning him in the head.   KELSO (cont’d): You be nice, or I will marry her.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. GROOVES - DAY   The next morning. A brisk business at Grooves. Customers peruse the crates. Hyde and ANGIE keep an eye on things from the listening pit as they talk.   ANGIE: Jackie’s getting some kind of offer about her show? Why? Her last episode was a half-hour about which high heels Olivia Newton-John would wear if she was ever a guest star on Charlie’s Angels.   HYDE: Hey, it was better than the one about how Jack Nicholson should do his hair.   ANGIE: How?   HYDE: Because she didn’t spend all week trying to get me to stand in for Jack Nicholson.   ANGIE: So – any idea what the offer is?   HYDE: No.   ANGIE: Do you know if Jackie’s been looking at colleges?   HYDE: No.   ANGIE: Have you two talked about your future at all since you got back together?   HYDE: Angie, I didn’t talk, plan, or think about my future for eighteen years. You know what that got me? (she shakes her head) A cool black dad and a record store. Why start planning now?   He heads to the register.   Kelso and Fez enter through the door. They stop when they see Angie, who is helping a customer.   KELSO: (to Fez) Okay. I can do this. I'm just gonna tell Angie that things are fizzling between us, and we should end it.   Angie sees them, smiles, and walks over.   ANGIE: (to Kelso) Hey, how's it going, sweets?   FEZ: Not bad, toots.   Angie and Kelso both give him a look.   FEZ (cont’d): (to Angie) Oh, him. Go.   He waves Angie over to Kelso.   KELSO: (to Angie) Okay. Well, um, we need to talk about something. This might be kind of hard to take. (beat) Fez still wets the bed.   FEZ/ANGIE: What?/Eww!   Angie edges away from Fez.   KELSO: (to Angie) At least we're still together! I'll see you later.   He steers Fez around and gives him a push toward the door, following after.   FEZ: (to Kelso) I'm going to wet your bed. They exit.   CUT TO:   INT. COUNSELOR’S OFFICE - DAY   The office of Point Place High’s guidance counselor, a bare-minimum office lit more by the window than the poor lighting. Jackie and Eric enter through the open door.   ERIC:  Oh, my God. I can't believe I have to tell my high school guidance counselor that I spent an entire year doing nothing. He's gonna think I'm such a loser.   JACKIE: Yeah. You know a good way to avoid that? Don’t be a loser.   ERIC: Whatever. I bet he doesn’t even have an offer for you. This is probably like that time he told you he wanted to talk about who should be the head of the decorating committee, then asked you to prom.   MR. BRAY himself enters, a portly man in a fool’s version of suave attire. A stack of files is tucked under his arm. He breezes right past Eric to shake Jackie’s hand.   MR. BRAY Ah, Jackie. How very, very – very – pleasant to see you again. And so soon after high school.   JACKIE: And so soon since the last time you drove by my house.   MR. BRAY: (beat) Well, uh, my mother lives right next door.   JACKIE: Next door is the guest house.   MR. BRAY: Well... isn’t Mother a charming guest?   Jackie fixes him with a condescending look. Mr. Bray clears his throat and stands up straight.   MR. BRAY (cont’d): Well, Jackie, I asked you here because the school was recently contacted by a TV producer out of Chicago about you.   JACKIE: (gasps) Oh, my God! Was it about my show?   MR. BRAY: Yes, indeed. She asked if we could pass on her interest to you and that she’d be in the area if you could take a meeting before taping.   Jackie squeals, hops, and claps with delight.   JACKIE: Oh, my God, yes! Yes! When is she coming?   MR. BRAY: Today. I meant to tell you sooner, but I kept dropping the phone – my hands tend to get sweaty when I’m nervous.   JACKIE: Today? Oh, I – I have to get ready. I have to get dressed – I have to do my hair – I have to get down to the studio!   She makes for the door. Eric catches her by the arm.   ERIC: What? Jackie, you don’t tape for another four hours.   JACKIE: Yeah, but it’ll take me at least two to get over there.   ERIC: Why?   JACKIE: Because I’m telling everyone!   She pulls herself free and runs out of the office.   Left alone, Eric and Mr. Bray awkwardly survey each other.   MR. BRAY: And you are?   ERIC: Eric. Forman. 1977's most improved mathlete.   MR. BRAY: Oh, right. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Eric. I just figured the bullies had gotten ya.   They continue to awkwardly survey each other.   BUMPER   INT. GROOVES – DAY   Business is still brisk, and Kelso and Fez are back. They stand together, heads bowed and arms folded, in the listening pit. Their heads jerk up when Jackie bursts through the door.   JACKIE: Where’s Steven?   KELSO: At lunch with Angie.   Jackie turns to head back out the door, but Kelso lunges, takes her arm, and pulls her into the listening pit. They sit on the couch together while Fez sits on the armrest.   KELSO (cont’d): Wait, Jackie! Listen, I need some advice on breaking up with girls, okay? And you've been broken up with a lot. Several times by me. So, what didn't you like?   JACKIE: Oh, um... the lying, the cheating, the sneaking around - oh, and I also didn't like Fez trying to make out with me five minutes later.   FEZ: Well, then you're really not gonna like this.   He leans down for a kiss. Jackie shoves him back by the face.   KELSO: Look, I don't know how to break up with Angie.   JACKIE: Well, why don't you try to figure out how to do it kindly – maturely - respectfully?   KELSO: Yeah. That sounds nice. (beat) I think I'm just gonna sleep with her best friend.   CUT TO:   INT. COUNSELOR’S OFFICE – DAY   Mr. Bray and Eric have moved to sitting on opposite sides of Mr. Bray’s desk. Mr. Bray reviews the contents of a file and shakes his head,   MR. BRAY: Well, Eric, I have to say – your eligibility for scholarships would normally be determined by what you’ve done for the last year, but as far as I can tell, you haven’t done anything.   ERIC: Okay, well... yeah. But what about the year before that? I mean, I gave up college to support my family.   MR. BRAY: So?   ERIC: Isn’t that, like, a really noble and decent thing to do?   MR. BRAY: You don’t get scholarships for nobility. Not unless you’re in Europe. And there, it’s not a scholarship – it’s actual nobility.   ERIC: Come on, Mr. Bray. There’s gotta be something I can do to pay for college. I’ll do anything to become a teacher.   MR. BRAY: You’re going to college for teaching? (Eric nods) And you spent the last year – (checks notes) “Reading comic books and acting out movies with your dolls” -   ERIC: Action figures!   MR. BRAY: Well, if you’re going to UW, there’s an option to be the instructor in a pilot teaching program that may just work for you.   ERIC: Wait – pilot program? What does that mean? Like, an experiment? I don’t know if I wanna be a guinea pig. What would I be teaching?   MR. BRAY:  Comic books.   Eric’s jaw drops. Slowly, his eyes bulging and his breath quivering in his throat, he pushes himself upright until he leans over the desk, his feet barely in contact with the ground. It’s an uncomfortable enough sight for Mr. Bray that he inches his seat back by a few good scoots.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: The theme from the 1966 “Batman” series.   INT. COUNSELOR’S OFFICE - DAY   Right where we left off. Eric is still leaning over the desk, his body trembling with the threat of jumping up and down for joy. Mr. Bray still looks uncomfortable.   ERIC: So you’re saying that I would get paid to teach a class about comic books?   MR. BRAY: Comic books, sci-fi films, fantasy novels, contemporary television – it’s an experimental course based on a program done in Indiana a few years ago. The university would pay you to teach this course, and while you act as the teacher, you could get a free education yourself. It would mean jumping right into a professional setting. So if you value time with your dolls –   ERIC: ACTION FIGURES!     MR. BRAY: Right. I’m just saying, you won’t have a lot of free time, and this sort of program needs someone with a strong work ethic. If you think you’re up to it, I can go get my information packet, but...   He trails off as he looks Eric over – pasty, skinny, fresh-from-a-year-off Eric. Eric gives himself a look-over before pushing himself away from the desk and standing up tall.   ERIC: You know what, Mr. Bray? I am up to it. You know, I wasn’t always this lazy, goof-around loser. I had work ethic – real work ethic. I don’t know how I got to this point, but I’ve been looking for a way out. And now – I have it. (puts hands on hips) I feel... I feel like Luke Skywalker when he vowed to follow Obi-Wan and learn the ways of the Force. Except we’re not surrounded by dead Jawas. And there’s no dead Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. And I don’t live with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, I live with my mom and dad, and – oh, screw it, I’m teaching Star Wars and comic books!   He gives the air a happy jab. Mr. Bray gives a slight smile, shakes his head, stands, and leads Eric out of the office.   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “Right Back Where We Stared From” by Maxine Nightingale.   INT. STUDIO – EVENING   The studio of the public access station, Jackie’s set. JACKIE, only slightly overdressed, bobs on her feet, all grins as the visiting CHICAGO PRODUCER, MRS. BERTRINELLI, sits on her desk and chats with her.   MRS. BERTRINELLI: Well, Jackie, everyone in the Chicago station’s been talking about your program.   JACKIE: Oh, really?   MRS. BERTRINELLI: Yes, we’ve never seen anything quite like it.   JACKIE: Well, I’d say I’m surprised, but –   She indicates her face and lets out an airy laugh.   JACKIE (cont’d): You know, my boyfriend Steven, he says the same thing every time he watches the show. At first, he meant it sarcastically, but now I think he means it as a compliment almost half of the time.   Mrs. Bertrinelli gives an enigmatic sort of smile; Jackie can’t tell if she’s genuinely amused or condescending. Jackie clears her throat and stands up as tall as she can.   JACKIE (cont’d): So, my guidance counselor said you had some sort of offer for me?   MRS. BERTRINELLI: Yes. As I said, we’ve been watching your show. And quite frankly – you advertise it as a news program, and yet all your content is concerned with fashion, disco, decorating, celebrity gossip, and local scandal. It’s superficial, irrelevant – all the flightiest impulses of youth. All in all, it’s a terrible news program.   Jackie’s face falls like a downed chopper over Saigon. Her hand clutches at her heart.   MRS. BERTRINELLI (cont’d): But it’s perfect for the arts and leisure segment of a real news program. How’d you like a job as entertainment anchor?   Jackie’s face changes again, into a stiff mask of shock. Her whole body goes stiff as an amused Mrs. Bertrinelli chuckles and shakes her head.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – EVENING   The end of a hard days’ work – relatively speaking. Hyde reads a magazine in his chair while Fez and Kelso share the couch.   KELSO: (to Fez) So, there's a problem with my "sleeping with Angie's best friend" plan: Angie's best friend is Hyde.   Without looking up from his magazine, Hyde shoots an acknowledging finger point Kelso’s way.   FEZ: (to Kelso) Drat. And That’s not just your plan foiled.   KELSO: Whaddya mean?   FEZ: My plan to console Angie when you dump her, then console her best friend when you dump her too, just went down the dumper. (to Hyde) You son of a bitch.   Hyde briefly flips down the magazine, grins at Fez, then goes back to reading.   Jackie enters through the basement door, her face long.   JACKIE: (to Kelso, Fez) Um, you guys, I gotta talk to Steven about something really serious.   KELSO: (gasp) Maybe she's pregnant!   FEZ: Maybe she cheated on him.   KELSO: Maybe she cheated on him and she's pregnant.   They grin up at her like idiots. Jackie, ignoring them, moves to the end of the couch nearest to Hyde’s chair. Hyde sets his magazine down and leans in toward her.   JACKIE: Steven, this TV producer came by to tell me she loved my public access show. And then she offered me a job at her station in Chicago starting next month.   HYDE: Whoa. Um, you're gonna take a job and move to Chicago?   JACKIE: No, no, not yet. No, I wanted to talk to you about it first.   KELSO: Uh-oh. This is "serious" serious, not funny serious. (to Fez) We should probably leave.   FEZ: (to Jackie, Hyde) But we won't.   Jackie and Hyde both ignore him.   JACKIE: Steven, this is my dream come true. But you are the most important thing in the world to me. So, I'm willing to give it all up and stay here with you. But if I do that, I need to know we're gonna get married.   HYDE: Jackie, we agreed not to talk about our future.   JACKIE: Until our future got here, and it just did, Steven. Look, the station needs an answer by the end of the month, and I do, too. HYDE: Well, I don't know what to say right now.   A flicker of hurt crosses Jackie’s face, but she gives Hyde a slow nod.   JACKIE: Okay, well, you don’t have to say anything right now. But this month is all the time left I can give you.   Hyde looks away from her. He sits back in his chair and tosses his head back as Jackie looks down at the floor.   Kelso sweeps a hand out to draw attention.   KELSO: (to Hyde) I know this is a sensitive moment, but may I offer a word of advice?   He stands, crosses to the basement door, and throws it open.   KELSO (cont’d): Run!   Fez heeds Kelso’s advice: he jumps to his feet and dashes out the door. When Kelso sees the look Hyde’s giving him, he does the same thing.   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - NIGHT   Post-dinner clean-up. KITTY is at the sink, gloves on, working at a roasting pan soaked in suds. RED sits at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper.   Donna enters from the patio door.   DONNA: Hey, is Eric home? We were supposed to hang out at the Hub after his meeting with the guidance counselor, but he never showed.   KITTY: (shakes head) He hasn’t been home all day.   RED: (flips paper down) If he’s trapped in another locker, we’ve gotta disown him. The only time in a man’s life when it’s acceptable for him to get stuffed in a high school locker is when he’s in high school.   KITTY: But he was in the high school.   RED: You know what I meant.   The patio door slides open again. Donna steps back as Eric and Mr. Bray enter, all grins, each with a stack of papers under their arms.   ERIC: (to Donna) Hey. I know I didn’t show at the Hub, but I’ve got great news. I –   Mr. Bray elbows past Eric to shake Donna’s hand.   MR. BRAY: Donna! Donna Pinciotti! How nice to see you again. You’ve done something different with your hair since high school.   DONNA: Yeah, you noticed.   MR. BRAY: Well, I notice everything about all my students.   ERIC: You didn’t even remember my name.   MR. BRAY: (to Eric) I notice everything about all my recent students.   ERIC: Donna and I were the same year.   MR. BRAY: Yes, well... I would like to change the subject now.   KITTY: (to Eric) Honey, you said you have great news?   She peels off her gloves and crosses to the table. She and Donna sit as Eric sets his papers down and clasps his hands together.   ERIC: I found a way to pay for college.   DONNA: Eric, that’s wonderful!   KITTY: Hooray!   RED: Pay for college? What’s wrong with the money we’ve been putting into your savings account?   KITTY: Oh – um, Red, honey, we – we need to talk later.   Red opens his mouth to press the issue, but Kitty waves him quiet.   ERIC: Yep. Not only will I be going to college for teaching – I’ll be going to college to teach.   KITTY: Ooh, how nice! (beat) What does that mean?   Donna and Red, just as confused as Kitty, look to Eric.   ERIC: You are looking at the future instructor of UW’s experimental “Genre Fiction in America” course!   He’s met with an audience of blank looks.   ERIC (cont’d): I’m teaching Star Wars and comic books.   Donna slaps a hand over her mouth, Kitty’s jaw drops, and Red, glaring, stands.   RED: Are you telling me that college is giving a whole class over to those moron books and that dopey space movie?   ERIC: No, Dad, it’s all of science fiction and fantasy. It’s a pilot course about how genre fiction comments and reflects on modern American life.   MR. BRAY: We were on the phone with UW all afternoon, setting Eric up for the program.   RED: Oh, crap. First they turn out commies, then they turn out hippies – now our colleges are gonna take America’s children and give her back a bunch of smart-mouth slackers indoctrinated by Professor Dumbass.   He drops back to his seat and puts a hand over his head. Eric shrugs and turns to his much more enthusiastic reception from Donna and Kitty.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   A short time later. Donna and Fez sit on opposite ends of the couch, Kelso sits on the washer, and Eric stands by him, working at a popsicle. The remnants of a burger-and-fries dinner litter the coffee table.   KELSO: (to Eric) So all those times you were going on and on about Star Wars – how this is like Star Wars, how that is like Star Wars, how the Vista Cruiser is like your Millennium Falcon from Star Wars – it turns out you can get a job teaching that? That’s, like, the biggest burn on everyone who ever made fun of you for being a loser.   ERIC: Kelso, you always made fun of me for being a loser.   KELSO: And the burn’s on me. Well played.   ERIC: (to all) Man, isn’t this great? And the best part is, if this pilot program takes off, it could become just a regular class, offered every year.   DONNA: Eric, if you stay on with UW to teach that course, you could end up as Professor Forman. I kinda like the sound of that.   ERIC: Me too. Professor Eric “Star Wars” Forman.   DONNA: Okay, now I like it a little less.   FEZ: (to Eric) And you will teach comic books too?   ERIC: Comic books, TV, cartoons, magazine stories... it’s like this entire basement condensed into a study guide.   KELSO: Hey, you know what comic book you should teach? Mine.   ERIC: You have a comic book?   KELSO: Yeah, it’s called Adventures on the Planet Zorgon. There’s these bugs that burrow into your brain, and they lay, like, a thousand eggs. And when the eggs hatch, they, like, shoot out of your head like little worm bullets.   He’s grinning from ear to ear. Eric gives him an indulgent smile in return.   Hyde enters from his room, SCHATZI in his arms. He makes his way to his chair and sits down, staring blankly ahead while he scratches Schatzi’s head.   DONNA: So, Hyde – we heard about Jackie. What are you gonna do?   HYDE: Well, I’ve spent all night kicking it back with Schatzi.   ERIC: With Schatzi?   HYDE: Yeah. If I hit my stash hard enough, I can understand him.   Eric and Donna share a look.   DONNA: And what did you and Schatzi come up with?   HYDE: A great idea for a movie that now I just can’t remember.   He shakes his head in frustration, retrieves a piece of beef from the coffee table, and feeds it to Schatzi.   CUT TO:   INT. GROOVES – NIGHT   Well past closing time. The customers are gone, the lights are out, but Angie is still at work. She stands at the register, reviewing the drawer. Satisfied with what she sees, she shuts the register, retrieves her bag, and heads for the door. Just as she opens it, Kelso appears in the doorway.   KELSO: Hey, Angie. I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I finally worked up the nerve. And I think we need to talk about us.   ANGIE: Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk about us too – I’m breaking up with you.   Kelso’s jaw drops.   KELSO: How dare you!   ANGIE: Come on. You know things were sort of fizzling anyways.   KELSO: F-fizzling? How can you even say that? What about all the times you said that I was really, really good-looking?   ANGIE: Michael, its over. But know this – when I said you were good-looking, I really meant it.   She pats his arm and strolls out into the night.   KELSO: (yelling after her) You know what? You’ve got a lot of growing up to do!   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   THE CIRCLE. A baffled and slightly repulsed Eric peruses a crudely-drawn amateur comic book.   ERIC: Kelso, I never knew you had such a... a thing for bugs crawling around in peoples’ brains.   Pan to Kelso, on the verge of tears.   KELSO: You know what, Eric? Right after a guy’s girlfriend breaks up with him is not the time for constructive criticism!   Pan to Hyde.   HYDE: Well, one day down, and I still don’t have an answer for Jackie. (to his right) You got anything?   Pan to Schatzi, propped up on pillows.   SCHATZI (v.o.): Nothing yet, man. I think I need more kibble.   END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #zen3to5+ #fan fiction #fan script

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE COURAGE OF CUP

At the end of the spectrum are crack and meth. Also, as a bunch of hackers. They just try to hit it every week. Silicon Valley. Addictive things have to be careful about. As you go down the list, almost all the surprises are surprising in how much a startup differs from a job. If there was ever a time when Yahoo was a Google-style talent magnet, it was the only thing that mattered, and should be correspondingly alarmed. But lately I've been learning more about how hard it is to keep everyone motivated during rough days or weeks, i. The least popular group is quite small. 05/1.

Assume you won't get good software, and their influence is such that the rest of the way? With no marketing and initially have only a few fanatically devoted users. There is neither admiration at the bottom like a pear. I mean it in two senses. If there are only 7 that matter: Yahoo, AltaVista, Excite, WebCrawler, InfoSeek, Lycos, and HotBot. They may be smart, or not, but somehow events overwhelm them and they get discouraged and give up. Another view is that a hacker's idea of a good programming language: very powerful abstractions. To them the thought of average intelligence is unbearable. Because they're at the bottom, nor noblesse oblige at the top.

They're tools, designed for people, and they are arranged in a confusing maze. That's becoming the test of mattering to hackers. If all companies were essentially similar, but some do. I think the worst danger of committees is that they get paid by getting their capital back, ideally after the startup IPOs, or failing that when it's acquired. 28%. In the capital cost of a long name is not just a barbershop whose founders were unusually lucky and hard-working. Running a startup is grim and hard than have founders go into it expecting it to be real. If it's physiological, it should be universal.

It's a particularly good combination both to be good at technology and to face problems that can be solved by it, because technology changes so rapidly that formerly bad ideas often become good without anyone noticing. How much of a role luck plays and how much is outside of our control. Combined they yield Pick the startups that will make something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. How to Become a Hacker, Eric Raymond, and Jackie Weicker for reading drafts of this essay, but really the thesis is an optimistic one—that several problems we take for granted are in fact not insoluble after all. To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once. Are you kidding? Fundamentally that's how the most successful startups, or they'll be out of business. There is no external pressure to do this is through contacts.

Languages become popular or unpopular based on their merits. If you want to invest seriously, the way to get returns from an investment is in the form of dividends. It's important for nerds to realize, too, that school is not life. A rookie on a football team doesn't resent the skill of the veteran; he hopes to be like him one day and is happy to have the program already written for you, and you failed at it, you become interested in anything that could spare you such pain in the future. They don't consciously dress to be popular, and to want to be popular, I think you want to design a popular language, you either have to supply more than a week ahead. You don't have to do anything if you don't have to look any further to explain why founders want to raise. In my high school, my friend Rich and I made a map of the school lunch tables according to popularity. Anyone who invested in private companies in return for dividends would have to pay close attention to their books. Then such optimizations would be portable too. A more serious problem is the real one. But acquirers have an additional reason to want startups.

There's a hack for being decisive when you're inexperienced: ratchet down the size of your investment till it's an amount you wouldn't care too much about losing. But only if a the distraction of hiring someone won't make you miss your numbers in the short term, and b the prisons are run mostly by the inmates. Programming is not enough like programming languages. Experienced founders learn to keep an open mind: Now I don't laugh at ideas anymore, because I didn't realize I would spend almost every waking moment either working or thinking about our startup. Where had these questions come from? What happened? Some torture nerds for the same reason they pull the legs off spiders. They get the pick of all the best deals. But I think the effect of such external factors on the popularity of programming languages: library functions.

In the long term it's to your advantage to be good to be popular. In fact, the book can start as online documentation. One's first thought when looking at them all is to ask, how different from what? That's the tradeoff. Another problem, and taking forever to do it. There is an ongoing debate between investors which is more important, the people, or the result is sterile and wooden: a shopping mall rather than a threshold. This prospect makes naive founders clumsily secretive. The hard part, obviously, is the lows. The language is built in layers. Some days I'd wake up, get a cup of tea and check the news again, then answer a few emails, then suddenly notice it was almost lunchtime and I hadn't gotten any real work done. In Common Lisp I have often wanted to iterate through the fields of a struct—to comb out references to a deleted object, for example. Officially the purpose of schools is to educate the kids.

Maybe in the long term it's to your advantage to be good for writing the kinds of programs they want to write. Should you hire another programmer? By way of summary, let's try describing the hacker's dream language. For startups, growth is a constraint much like truth. But in fact I named after Rtm. The expert told him that it would be a waste of time, and eventually you'll start a chain reaction. Or you can become a lot less stressful once you reach cruising altitude: I'd say 75% of the stress is gone now from when we first started. They don't actually hate you. One solution here might be to design systems so that interfaces are horizontal instead of vertical—so that modules are always vertically stacked strata of abstraction. The growth of a successful startup can become, anyone familiar with the concept of expected value would be surprised if it is called Lisp.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #bunch #books #startups #threshold #questions #acquirers #oblige #people #solution #application #problem #Yahoo #mall #growth #effect #Rich #group #Anyone #moment #thing #role #drafts #popularity #emails

[inkribbon796]

Loose Lips, Sink Ships

Summary: Secrets, secrets, never tell . . . Secrets, secrets, just as well. Sometimes secrets are harmless, like the fact that Roman has a chronic case of losing the remotes and they don’t actually grow wings. But for Virgil and some of the other heroes, they’re a bit more serious. Too bad the Jims have no sense of the words: “keep out”.

A/N: No ships were harmed in the revealing of secrets. Just Virgil’s peace of mind. ALSO! Just wanted to put it out there I’m really glad I didn’t commit to a name for Deceit, might come out with a bonus fic this weekend for Deceit, cause I’ve got Sanders Sides on the brain.

Marvin would always swear up and down that it was an accident.

The magician had always been good at brewing potions. They took time, and Marvin prided himself on the fact that he could succeed where others failed, or even weren’t so good at. So of course he could make about any type of potion that wasn’t necessarily “above board” to make. I.E: love potions and truth serums. Both of which didn’t last nearly as long as fiction liked to say they lasted for.

However, when the Jims walked into a relatively packed common room with a huge grin, everyone knew something was up with them.

Eric, Patton, Virgil, and Randall were all watching a movie, a little bit of downtime before Patton and Virgil stepped back out. King was in the kitchen arguing about the coffee maker with Ethan and Roman. And Jackie, who was just watching the room, took one look at the Jims and thought, “Oh no, what are they up to this time?”.

“Party’s in the house!” RJ screamed and threw the glass potion he’d been hiding behind his back onto the floor. It smashed into pieces and quickly began to fill up the space.

A silvery smoke instantly flooded the room, more smoke than could have possibly fit inside that little glass orb.

Everyone in the lobby area began coughing, the smoke physically forcing them to breath it in. Jackie used his super speed to open the door and force the smoke out into the open air.

“Fook!” Jackie coughed, “what was that?”

“Not a glitter bomb,” RJ shrugged.

“I thought the label said it was a glitter bomb,” CJ agreed.

“Yeh fookers are mad,” Jackie spat. “Where’d you even get it?”

“Marvin’s study,” CJ answered. “He was working on something else.”

“Then why’d you take it?” Anxiety shouted. “What even was that thing?”

Both of the Jim Twins looked at each other, and then shrugged at the same time.

“Helpful,” Virgil glared at them.

“Okay, so we gotta figure out what it does,” Patton added. “Do you think it’s going to hurt anyone outside?”

“Nah, it was starting to dissipate when it hit the air outside,” Jackie said, zipping over to check outside for a second “Yep, coast’s all clear.”

Patton let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, that’s good.

“Maybe we could ask Marvin,” Randall asked.

“Good idea,” the Jim twins began at almost the same time. “We’ll go find him.”

Then they looked at each other with confusion.

“Nah uh,” Ethan walked over. “I don’t trust the two of you with shit. I’m coming with.”

Once the three of them were gone, Roman commented, “What if it only works on twins. Oh no! Will I be forced to share a mind with Remus again.”

“Shoot me,” Virgil groaned.

“No, you don’t really mean that do you?” Patton asked in concern.

“Of course not,” Virgil said. “It just slipped out.”

Patton looked relieved, and then tears started prickling his eyes, “Oh good, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Then Patton raced over and wrapped his arms around Virgil, the more anxious Side stiffening up like a cat that had been suddenly picked up.

“Come on, Pat, let me go,” Virgil struggled.

“Why don’t I ever get a hug from you?” Roman complained.

Jackie had his head in one of his hands, his phone starting to ring for Marvin. He was getting impatient, even more so when Marvin didn’t answer him. “Come on, we need to figure out what we got hit with.”

Marvin walked in with Ethan and the twins, and Jackie immediately stomped over to him.

“Hey Marv, what the hell?” Jackie spat. “What’d they steal?”

“I can’t tell just by the color ‘a smoke,” Marvin defended heatedly. “Has anyone suddenly tried making out.”

“No,” Eric said. “I ha-ve a b-b-oy-friend now, and . . . I don’t want to cheat on him. I’ve . . . I’ve never had a boy-friend before and—”

“Eric,” Marvin called out. “Breathe.”

“Is it Illy?” Roman’s attention hyper focused on Eric. “Did he call back? Tell me.”

“Illinois?” King balked. “Why the hell you are dating that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole, he’s a sweetheart,” Eric began tearing up.

“He put slugs in my bed,” King dismissed. “He’s a nut job who got crazier the older he got and the closer he got to Dad.”

“Is it the same Illinois that works for Dark?” Virgil spoke up. “King’s right, he’s crazy.”

“He’s not!” Eric began crying.

“Hey, quit making ‘em cry, assholes,” Randall shouted back.

Magic suddenly seized all of them, Marvin taking control of the situation. “Hey,” Marvin called out. “Okay, it’s either a truth potion, or someone aerosolized my supply of Whiskey.”

“What were you doing with a truth potion?” Jackie demanded. “Did you give it to those two fookers?”

“No,” Marvin scoffed. “Those two would steal the clothes off my back if it meant pulling a prank.”

“We totally would,” CJ smiled, fist bumping with his brother; both of them which huge proud smiles.

“Doesn’t mean you didn’t try something,” Jackie reminded.

“I didn’t drug yeh, an’ it’ll wear off anywhere from an hour ta about a day, ‘pends on the dose.”

“A whole day!” Jackie was practically screeching.

“Depends on the dose,” Marvin answered. “But as long as no one’s got some deep dark secret you all should be fine.”

Anxiety let out a nervous scream.

Kay laughed nervously, “Everyone already knows mine.”

Patton began sobbing, whatever he was saying almost indecipherable.

“Well that’s great,” Marvin groaned.

“Why did yah even have that potion?” Jackie asked, still glaring at Marvin. “Probably didn’t mean for us ta get it though.”

“I made it ages ago an’ didn’t want ta risk it by flushing it down the drain,” Marvin spat. “Just get e’eryone comfortable, I’ll see if I can whip an antidote up.”

“Thanks, asshole,” Jackie spat. Then he looked a little surprised. “Dammit, that was supposed to stay in my head.”

“Well ‘til the potion wears off, it’s not. Keep everyone who was affected here,” Marvin sighed. “I’ll make some calls.”

Jackie nodded, thanking Marvin in-between cursing at him.

Keeping themselves in the lobby they tried not to insult each other the best they could. Eric was mostly calmed down, only  snapping at King who snapped back. It was fun for everyone to see the normally timid Eric snapping at someone.

However Patton was lying in the middle of the floor, staring at the ceiling. Virgil and Roman were on either side of him. King and Jackie were on the sofa and both the Jim’s were piled into a bean bag chair. Eric has gone to his room to sleep everything off, Randall taking him there.

“Do you ever think that your life’s a lie?” Patton mumbled out loud. “That no matter how many times you fuse, and how hard you try to be a good person, someone can just scoop out everything that makes you a good person and put in something else.”

Roman stared at him. “Like what?”

“I think I was replaced with another Patton, that your Patton is in my world, and I’m here,” Patton began to ramble. “But I wanna be a good person, I wanna be a good person so bad it hurts.”

“You are a good guy, Pat,” Roman said, cuddling up next to him.

“No, I’m a bad person,” Patton said in-between sobbing, his voice choking up. “I worked with Dark, I’ve watched people die.”

“You never worked with Dark, you’re been with the other Sides the whole time,” Anxiety told him. “I would have recognized you.”

“Then why do I have all these awful memories in my head that won’t go away,” Patton sat up, looking desperately at Virgil. Whether or not he was looking for reassurance or someone to validate his claims was unknown. “They only go away when I fuse. When I was Thomas last time they went away for months.”

Anxiety seemed to be thinking on Patton’s words, “It must be Arthur, he must be doing that to you. He’s forcing you to think that way.”

“Who’s Arthur?” Patton asked.

“Arthur’s dead,” King interrupted. “He bled out on an operating table in front of me. How many times do I keep having to repeat that.”

“What do you mean he’s dead, he can’t be,” Virgil responded. “He’s been keeping Dark from taking over the base.”

“Nah that’s Host and J.J, the two of them keep Dark out,” Roman bragged. “Dark’s always been trying to get into the base but it wasn’t until the Host joined that J.J got some help.”

“I knew he was a liar!” Anxiety shouted.

“Who?” Roman asked. “Dee?”

“Dark!” Anxiety answered. “Oh no.”

“He lies about a lot of stuff,” King agreed. “He once told me we couldn’t get a pet, and then he got himself a cat and named it after himself. I just wanted a puppy.”

“That’s so sad,” Patton told him, rolling over to prop his chin up on his palms. “Least you got a kitty.”

“For a couple days,” King dismissed. Then he paused, “Hey Vee, how’d you even hear about Artie? Everyone in the network uses nicknames.”

Virgil felt the words coming, like an out of control freight train with broken brakes. He grabbed at his throat. “He told me to look for him.”

“Who?” King asked. “Artie?”

“I don’t want to do it, I have talked with him since,” Virgil said, everyone was staring at him.. “You have to believe me, I didn’t believe it, I’m not spying on you, I promise!”

“I believe you,” Patton told him. “You don’t have to talk to him ever again.”

“What kind of spy doesn’t report on the people he’s spying on?” Jack agreed.

“You’re not mad?” Virge asked, daring to hope that somehow he was getting out of this alive. “Even if I was a bad guy?”

King laughed, “You think that’s bad, I’m hiding out from my old man because he would probably kill me if he ever saw me again.”

“Who’s your dad?” Randall asked.

“Dark,” King said, before slapping his hand over his mouth. “Oh no, Host’s gonna kill me.”

“What!?” About half of the heroes in the room shouted. Virgil stared at King.

“You’re not Arthur,” Virgil said out loud, his filter completely destroyed by the truth dust.

“Nah, that’s one of my siblings,” King was staring at his hands. “Host, Bim, Yan, me, Illy, Yancy, and . . .”

Then he stared at his hands, “Huh, weren’t there seven of us?”

“Was that Arthur?” Virgil asked.

“Nah, I already counted him,” King dismissed, waving at Virgil’s direction. “Sides, Artie’s kinda dead, except in the ways that probably matter. You all lucked out, you guys didn’t have to babysit him.”

RJ, who was almost falling asleep with CJ snapped away, almost dragging him and his camera over to have it almost pressed into King’s face. “This sounds like a story.”

King stared at the camera in fear, “Is that live? Please tell me it’s not live.”

“The Jim Twins should make sure it doesn’t see the light of day,” the Host announced himself.

“Host, there’s a truth spray in the air!” King called out desperately as the Host walked closer.

“Even if it was still the air, the Host’s narrations have him dictate his mind anyways,” the seer reminded.

“Oh yeah,” King’s mouth formed a thin line. “You really got the short end didn’t you?”

The Host just stared at him. “The King of the Squirrels should take a nap before he incriminates himself any further.”

“What if I did?” King somehow looked halfway between apologetic and not even a little remorseful. “Like, what if I messed up, bad?”

“The Host noticed,” the seer frowned at him.

“Nah, it was bad,” King frowned. “The one thing you told me not to do, I did it.”

“The Host can see the future, he doesn’t need a replay,” the Host reminded curtly.

“Do you hate me?” King asked sadly. “You probably do, right?”

The Host sat down on the couch next to his adopted brother, his expression softening, “The Host has never hated King.”

“Did Artie?” King was staring at his hands.

“No the Author did not hate King either,” the Host told him “He was angry and dangerous, but he did not hate his adopted family.”

King looked sad, “Oh, that sucks. Cause you were an asshole and I always felt bad about not being nicer.”

“King should save his sympathy,” Host decided. “The Author did not deserve it.”

“You did,” King told him. “You were in there, an’ I should’a been nicer.”

“So you’re Arthur then?” Virgil asked, narrowing his eyes in concentration. “Probably should have called that.”

“King and his friends should sleep,” Host told him, as his words began to curl around the room and people began dropping one by one to sleep. “Everything will be better after you sleep.”

They slept, making it easier for the minds to clear even if each of their dreams were a little more unusual and potion-fueled than usual. Marvin was able to lift the spell by the time they woke up, leaving an uncomfortable atmosphere in the potion’s wake.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Mark Fischbach #Sean McLoughlin #Thomas Sanders #the Jim Twins #Marvin the Magician #Anxiety Sanders #Patton Sanders #Roman Sanders #King of the Squirrels #Jackieboy Man #the Host #Randall Voorhees #Eric Derekson #Truth Serum #Jim chaos #the Jims at their finest

[jacquelineshyde]

Let’s pretend for a moment that the writers didn't forget about Jackie knowing and liking how to work with cars and

Jackie looking forward Red asking her to help with repars and mantenance of the cars and Eric looking with mesmerized eyes at the show, not wanting to miss a detail but also wondering if he has been put on a different reality or something.

Kitty finding her husband bonding with the younger of Eric’s fried amusing and sweet, it makes her want to cook for them and also lock her husband on their room all night.

And then, Jackie falling in love with the El Camino first, or that is what she always says. What Hyde can't denied is that his chick truly love his baby almost as much as he does.

Which then leads to an inside joke of “you take care of the car more than you take care of me!” followed by Jackie's laugh... That may or may not be serious sometimes, she is always Extra(TM) when it comes to the car. Another inside joke is "I'm going to make love to our girl, you want to watch?" aka Jackie is going to do a check on the El Camino, change oils and so, and Hyde is allowed to pretend he doesn't know what she is doing, so she can explain it to him, because the whole act is just so hot.

Donna making Jackie talk about cars in front of her feminist friends and Jackie’s cheerleader squad, then Jackie notices her friend does it on purpose: to show the first group how every woman can do even better “manly” things and to show the second one how cool Jackie can be. Of course, Jackie won’t let her live this one, she uses the information to get into Donna’s nerves but also enjoys that her friend encorages her liking without critisism of any kind, not like the cheerleader girls that look at her weird for it sometimes.

And then it actually saves them from one time they were hanging out alone at night. Having borrowed Bob’s car, they end up at one side of the road, needing to change the tire. Donna talked about it on the circle for like a week, saying how badass Jackie had been since she did all the work alone, “and like, she had to carry the tire alone! so she is really small, you know? but she carried the tire alone! alone!”. Even Jackie wants her to shut up after the second day.

Red is proud of this, and he talks about it to everyone to the point people assume he is talking about Laurie or Eric. When he noticed, he just murmurs like “uhm... yeah, my kids... yeah”.

“Look, let’s hang out in the Lincoln today” “Uhm, why? We have the El Camino right here” “Yeah, but I don’t want daddy’s car to think I don’t love him [the car] anymore” “... Jackie, this needs to stop” “No, it doesn’t.” “Ok.”

Jackie repeating a speech about how is important to know at least a little about cars, like changing a tire or the oil. “It’s not a big deal, but it sure can save you from the stupidity of bad mechanic dumbasses. A girl needs to know how to look after herself, so she then can boss around other people to do the job good for her!”, and if it sounds like Red and is kind of always directed to Eric, nobody says anything.

Red is also proud of this one. They burn Eric together every time the theme comes out.

When Red opens his store, instead of being disgusted by Hyde working there, she is as excited as the office work. She still thinks it would be better if he accepted the job W. B. offers him but also prefers he takes what makes him happy. Besides she enjoys staying at the store, sometimes understanding more what people is saying to Hyde than himself. Once Red tells him to take W. B.’s offer, she kind of still stays in the store way too much.

So at first, Red offers her the job but she says no, it won’t make her image any good and people will talk about her in the uniform and the oil and the smell, so no. Yet she is excellent at selling whatever, like literally whatever: “This is a GREAT deodorant for your car, your date will think the smell comes from you, so if you forget to use some lotion, it will make the magic!”, lots of young boys go to the store but never leave without something because she is that good. Red tries to pay her and she refuses since she isn’t working, she is just killing time while everyone else works/studies, so Red starts putting her money on Hyde’s account with his “rent”.

(It will be a nice surprise, once they decide to get engaged. Hyde is a little worried with this stupid party because he knows Jackie has been dreaming of the perfect wedding since she was little, so when Red approaches him and tells him about the savings they have with money that belongs to both of them? Freaking nice. It may not cover everything, but is a damn good start and Jackie can’t stop hugging Kitty and kissing Red’s cheek)

After a while, Kitty tells her to take the job at the store but she doesn’t want to because “PEOPLE WILL TALK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE WILL SEE ME” and everyone is like “tHEY ALREADY SEE YOU THERE ALL THE TIME, WOMAN”. The discussion goes on until, in private, Hyde asks her if she wouldn’t truly like to have a job she actually enjoys, reminding her what she does is nobody business, not even his. “... But I will look BAD in that uniform, Steven. Is too grey and ugly, and just one piece!” “What are you talking about? You are fine no matter what you are using... or not using” “... You just want to see me in that thing, don’t you?” “Hey, you make a ridiculous cheese attendant outfit look sexy, so yeah.”, it actually makes her want to make love with him all night smile.

Finally, she agreed on giving it a try but she won’t use the uniform, she can use whatever she wants. Which means shopping for appropriate working clothes; it’s a win-win situation for her.

As for the smell of oil and whatnot, she doesn’t mind it at all because is like painting your nails: it smells terrible, but once the job is done, it makes you look wonderful; once the job is done with a car, it sounds/look amazing, and sure as hell a good car can make you look and feel as fabulous as  a good manicure.

Hyde really digs watching her work on cars, is just... amazing. She teases him saying he wants a calendar of her like the ones they were giving at Forman and Son. They ended looking at each other like if they had the greatest idea of all time.

The flat part of the El Camino has seen and feel too much of them. Sometimes there are covers, blankets and pillows inside the car, if someone asks Hyde about it, he will smirk and say not to touch it, his girl hates those things touched by other people that aren’t them, followed by a scared “eww!” from the person.

#jackie burkhart #that 70s show #zenmasters #hyde x jackie #hyde and jackie #mine #my headcanons #otp: anything for you doll #hj headcanons #this is a queue that writes

[newsfundastuff]

Updated May 15 with “Good Girls” renewed for Season 4 at NBC.Amid production shutdowns due to the coronavirus pandemic, broadcast networks are faced with some very unprecedented problems while making their annual decisions about which TV series will return next season, which will come to an end and which new ones they’ll be ordering for inclusion on their Fall 2020 slates.Below is every scripted show that ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and The CW have renewed or canceled so far, along with those still awaiting their fates. We’ve also included the new comedies and dramas that have been picked up, along with their descriptions.You can read our pilot guide to see what projects may soon be ordered to series here.Check back throughout the coming weeks for updates.Also Read: Here's the Fall 2020 TV Schedule for Broadcast Networks - So FarNBC Renewed Series: “The Blacklist,” “Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” “Chicago Fire,” “Chicago Med,” “Chicago P.D.” (entire “Chicago” franchise renewed for three more seasons each), “Good Girls,” “Law & Order: SVU” (renewed through Season 24), “New Amsterdam” (renewed for Seasons 3, 4 and 5), “Superstore,” “This Is Us” (renewed for Seasons 5 and 6)Canceled/Ending Series: “Blindspot,”  “The Good Place,” “The InBetween,” “Sunnyside” (effectively canceled and moved to digital platforms for the remainder of its first season), “Will & Grace”Series Awaiting Decisions:  “Bluff City Law” (ended after initial 10-episode run), “Council of Dads,” “Indebted,” “Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector,” “Manifest,” “Perfect Harmony,” “Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist”Newly Ordered Series: “The Kenan Show,” “Young Rock,” Untitled Tina Fey/Robert Carlock ComedyNEW COMEDIES:THE KENAN SHOW Writer(s): Jackie Clarke Producer(s): Lorne Michaels, Andrew Singer Director: Chris Rock Studio: Universal Television, Broadway Video Logline: Kenan Thompson strives to be a super dad to his two adorable girls while simultaneously balancing his job and a father-in-law who “helps” in the most inappropriate ways. (Single camera) Cast: Kenan Thompson, Punam Patel, Dani Lockett, Dannah Lockett, Andy GarciaAlso Read: Fox Fall Schedule: '9-1-1' Moves to Midseason, 'L.A.'s Finest' Season 1 Comes Over From SpectrumYOUNG ROCK Writer(s): Nahnatchka Khan, Jeff Chiang Producer(s): Dwayne Johnson, Dany Garcia, Hiram Garcia, Brian Gewirtz, Jennifer Carreras Studio: Universal Television, Seven Bucks Productions, Fierce Baby Productions Logline: Inspired by the formative years of Dwayne Johnson. (Single camera) Cast: Dwayne JohnsonUNTITLED TINA FEY/ROBERT CARLOCK COMEDY Writer(s): Tina Fey, Robert Carlock Producer(s): Jeff Richmond, David Miner, Eric Gurian Studio: Universal Television, 3 Arts Entertainment, Little Stranger Logline: A wealthy businessman runs for mayor of Los Angeles for all the wrong reasons. Once he wins he has to figure out what he stands for, gain the respect of his staff and connect with his teenage daughter, all while humanely controlling the coyote population. (Single camera) Cast: Ted Danson, Holly Hunter, Bobby MoynihanAlso Read: 'The Good Doctor' Renewed For Season 4 at ABCABC Renewed Series: “The Good Doctor,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Station 19”Canceled/Ending Series: “Fresh Off the Boat,” “How to Get Away With Murder,” “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” “Modern Family,” “Reef Break”Series Awaiting Decisions: “American Housewife,” “A Million Little Things,” “The Baker & The Beauty,” “black-ish,” “Bless This Mess,” “The Conners,” “Emergence,” “For Life,” “The Goldbergs,” “mixed-ish,” “The Rookie,” “Schooled,” “Single Parents,” “Stumptown”Series That Haven’t Premiered Yet:  “United We Fall”Newly Ordered Series: “The Big Sky”NEW DRAMAS:THE BIG SKY Writer(s): David E. Kelley Producer(s): Ross Fineman, C.J. Box Studio: A+E Studios, 20th Century Fox Television Logline: In this procedural thriller, private detective Cassie Dewell partners with ex-cop Jenny Hoyt on a search for two sisters who have been kidnapped by a truck driver on a remote highway in Montana. But when they discover that these are not the only girls who have disappeared in the area, they must race against the clock to stop the killer before another woman is taken. Cast: Katheryn Winnick, Kylie Bunbury, Ryan Phillippe, John Carroll Lynch, Dedee PfeifferFoxFox Renewed Series: “9-1-1,” “9-1-1: Lone Star,” “Bless the Harts,” “Bob’s Burgers,” “Duncanville,” “Family Guy,” “The Simpsons”Canceled/Ending Series: “Almost Family,” “BH90210,” “Deputy,” “Empire”Series Awaiting Decisions: “Last Man Standing,” “Outmatched,” “Prodigal Son,” “The Resident”Series That Haven’t Premiered Yet: “Filthy Rich,” “Great North,” “neXt”Newly Ordered Series: “Call Me Kat,” “Housebroken”NEW COMEDIES:CALL ME KAT Writer(s): Darlene Hunt Producer(s): Mayim Bialik, Jim Parsons, Todd Spiewak, Angie Stephenson, Miranda Hart, Eric Norsoph, Mackenzie Gabriel-Vaught Studio: Warner Bros. Television, Fox Entertainment, That’s Wonderful Productions, Sad Clown Productions and BBC Studios Logline: Kat (Mayim Bialik) is a 39-year-old woman who struggles every day against society and her mother to prove that you can NOT have everything you want — and still be happy. Which is why she spent her life savings to open a Cat Café in Louisville, Kentucky. (Multi camera) Cast: Mayim Bialik, Swoosie Kurtz, Kyla Pratt, Cheyenne Jackson, Leslie JordanHOUSEBROKEN Writer(s): Clea DuVall, Jennifer Crittenden, Gabrielle Allan Producer(s): Sharon Horgan, Clelia Mountford, Aaron Kaplan, Dana Honor Studio: Fox Entertainment, Kapital Entertainment, Bento Box Logline: Explores human dysfunction and neurosis through a group of neighborhood animals who live in the suburbs. (Animated) Cast: Lisa Kudrow, Clea DuVall, Sharon Horgan, Nat Faxon, Will Forte, Tony Hale, Jason Mantzoukas, Sam Richardson, Bresha Webb, Greta LeeCBS Renewed Series: “All Rise,” “Blood & Treasure,” “Blue Bloods,” “Bob Hearts Abishola,” “Bull,”  “Evil,” “FBI,” “FBI: Most Wanted,” “MacGyver,” “Magnum P.I.,” “Mom,” “NCIS,” “NCIS: Los Angeles,” “NCIS: New Orleans,” “The Neighborhood,” “SEAL Team,” “S.W.A.T.,” “Young Sheldon,” “The Unicorn”Canceled/Ending Series: “Broke,” “Carol’s Second Act,” “Criminal Minds,” “God Friended Me,” “Hawaii Five-0,” “Madam Secretary,” “Man With a Plan,” “Tommy”Series Awaiting Decisions: N/ANewly Ordered Series: “B Positive,” “Clarice,” “The Equalizer”NEW COMEDIES:B POSITIVE Writer(s): Marco Pennette Producer(s): Chuck Lorre Director(s): James Burrows Studio: Warner Bros. Television, Chuck Lorre Productions, Inc. Logline: The comedy is about a therapist and newly divorced dad who is faced with finding a kidney donor when he runs into a rough-around-the-edges woman from his past who volunteers her own. Together they form an unlikely bond and begin a journey that will change both of their lives. (Multi-camera) Cast: Thomas Middleditch, Annaleigh Ashford, Kether Donohue, Sara Rue, Kamryn KunodyNEW DRAMAS:CLARICE Writer(s): Alex Kurtzman, Jenny Lumet Producer(s): Heather Kadin, Aaron Baiers Studio: MGM Television, CBS Television Studios, Secret Hideout Logline: “Clarice” is a deep dive into the untold personal story of brilliant and vulnerable FBI Agent Clarice Starling as she returns to the field in 1993, six months after the events of “The Silence of the Lambs.” Cast: Rebecca Breeds, Kal Penn, Nick Sandow, Michael Cudlitz, Lucca De Oliveira, Devyn A. TylerTHE EQUALIZER Writer(s): Andrew Marlowe, Terri Miller Producer(s): Dana Owens (Queen Latifah), John Davis, John Fox , Debra Martin Chase, Richard Lindheim, Shakim Compere Director(s): Liz Friedlander Studio: Universal Television Studios, CBS Television Studios, Davis Entertainment, Martin Chase Productions, Flavor Unit Logline: A reimagining of the classic series starring Queen Latifah (“Chicago,” “Bessie”) as an enigmatic woman with a mysterious background who uses her extensive skills to help those with nowhere else to turn. Cast: Queen Latifah, Chris Noth, Lorraine Toussaint, Tory Kittles, Liza Lapira, Laya DeLeon HayesThe CW Renewed Series: “All American,” “Batwoman,” “Black Lightning,” “Burden of Truth,” “Charmed,” “DC’s Legends of Tomorrow,” “Dynasty,” “The Flash,” “In the Dark” (Season 2 has yet to premiere, renewed through Season 3), “Legacies,” “Nancy Drew,” “The Outpost,” “Pandora,” “Riverdale,” “Roswell, New Mexico” (Season 2 has yet to premiere, renewed through Season 3), “Supergirl”Canceled/Ending Series: “The 100,” “Arrow,” “Supernatural”Series Awaiting Decisions: “Katy Keene”Newly Ordered Series: “Kung Fu,” “Republic of Sarah,” “Superman & Lois,” “Walker”NEW DRAMAS:KUNG FU Writer(s): Christina M. Kim Producer(s): Martin Gero, Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schechter Director: Hanelle Culpepper Studio: Quinn’s House and Berlanti Productions in association with Warner Bros. Television Logline: A quarter-life crisis causes a young Chinese-American woman to drop out of college and go on a life-changing journey to an isolated monastery in China. But when she returns to find her hometown overrun with crime and corruption, she uses her martial arts skills and Shaolin values to protect her community and bring criminals to justice…all while searching for the assassin who killed her Shaolin mentor and is now targeting her. Cast: Olivia Liang, Kheng Hua Tan, Shannon Dang, Jon Prasida, Eddie Liu, Gavin Stenhouse, Gwendoline Yeo, Tzi MaREPUBLIC OF SARAH Writer(s): Jeffrey Paul King Producer(s): Marc Webb, Mark Martin, Jeff Grosvenor, Leo Pearlman Director: Kat Candler Studio: CBS Television Studios Logline: Faced with the destruction of her town at the hands of a greedy mining company, rebellious high school teacher Sarah Cooper utilizes an obscure cartographical loophole to declare independence. Now Sarah must lead a young group of misfits as they attempt to start their own country from scratch. Cast: Stella Baker, Nia Holloway, Luke Mitchell, Izabella Alvarez, Hope Lauren, Ian Duff, Forrest Goodluck, Landry Bender, Megan FollowsSUPERMAN & LOIS Writer(s): Todd Helbing Producer(s): Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schechter, Geoff Johns Studio: Berlanti Productions, Warner Bros. Television Logline: Follows the world’s most famous Super Hero and comic books’ most famous journalist as they deal with all the stress, pressures and complexities that come with being working parents in today’s society. Based on the characters from DC created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Cast: Tyler Hoechlin, Elizabeth Tulloch, Jordan Elsass, Alexander Garfin, Dylan Walsh, Emmanuelle ChriquiWALKER Writer(s): Anna Fricke Producer(s): Dan Lin, Lindsay Liberatore, Jared Padalecki Studio: CBS Television Studios, Rideback. Logline: A reimagining of the long-running series “Walker, Texas Ranger.” Centers on Cordell Walker, a widower and father of two with his own moral code, who returns home to Austin after being undercover for two years, only to discover there’s harder work to be done at home. He’ll attempt to reconnect with his children, navigate clashes with his family, and find unexpected common ground with his new partner (one of the first women in Texas Rangers’ history), while growing increasingly suspicious about the circumstances surrounding his wife’s death. Cast: Jared Padalecki, Lindsey Morgan, Keegan Allen, Mitch Pileggi, Molly Hagan, Jeff PierreRead original story Fall TV 2020: Every Broadcast Show Canceled, Renewed and Ordered – So Far (Updating) At TheWrap

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[zen3to5]

I’ve mentioned a few times that Season 6 is the last season I’ve seen all the way through. Back when I was first watching the show, I stopped at 6 mostly due to getting distracted with other things. But I also felt at the time that Season 6 just wasn’t as good as the first five. That’s about as much as I thought about it at the time; there were a handful of episodes I really liked from that season, so I’d watch those now and again, but for the most part, I avoided Season 6 and didn’t think much about it until this rewatch.

...Oh, God.

Season 6 is bad. “If Season 8′s the breaking point for most hardcore fans of this show, how much worse does it have to be?” bad.

I don’t even know where to start with this. How about with some holdovers from Season 5 that have lost all context - Kitty and Red’s personalities and dynamic. Kitty was more emotional in Season 5 and started hitting the bottle? It was motivated there - she started menopause, lost her father, felt empty-nest syndrome full force, and struggled to cope. Now, that erratic behavior’s divorced from nearly any motive (menopause gets mentioned once) and cranked up to eleven, and she becomes an alcoholic with wild mood swings. Red was crankier in Season 5? Motivated - he struggled to help his wife through a difficult time in her life and felt treating Eric harshly was for his own good, something he came around on by the end of the season. Now, though his heart attack could (and does, at times) motivate some of his behavior, he’s just generally more unpleasant and detached from everyone, and much less supportive of his family. Their marriage was complicated in Season 5? Motivated here by their respective issues and the stress of Eric’s engagement. Now, Kitty’s always high-strung and on Red’s case, and he’s always resigned to a strained marriage that he barely puts any work into.

But they don’t come off so bad - so bad - compared to Eric and Donna. I know some fans of the show don’t love that the engagement happened when it did in Season 5, or at all, but I like it. I’ll admit I may have a soft spot for the idea, having two best friends who got engaged in high school, married early in college, and are still going strong a decade later. But I also think, excepting one or two episodes that retread earlier conflicts (something almost impossible to avoid in this kind of sitcom), Eric and Donna come across in Season 5 as a couple ready to step into the future, live their lives, and prepare for married life together, and they put up a united front defending their decisions to their parents.

That resolve and maturity is still there at the very beginning of Season 6, but it slips away quickly, and by the end, their whole dynamic is just awful. The established relationship is swapped out for a lazy comedy cliche - the woman is a stiff nag who withholds sex and is always pushing over menial domestic crap but is always right because...well, because, and the man is a henpecked, horny moron who’s always doing stupid wacky crap and making a mess of everything but gets forgiven all the time because...well, because. And then to have a couple who are well-established - and even say so, in the show, as talking about everything - end up at a place where one buys a mobile home without asking the other, one walks out on their wedding without telling the other why until it’s too late, and the catalyst for breaking off their marriage - Donna suddenly wanting to stay in Point Place, which is justified by her claiming that seeing the world was her plan “when she was single” when she and Eric were still planning just this season to move, and Eric making a decision to “save” Donna from “ruining” her life - makes absolutely no sense.

As an individual character, Eric is completely derailed this season. Season 5 may have started emphasizing his nerdiness compared to earlier seasons, but only so much; Season 4 had started down that path, after all, and Eric’s still Eric in Season 5, with a good range of stories all tied in to his relationships with Donna and his family. But after his decision to stay at home and care for his family - something very much in line with his established character - he starts sliding more than any other individual character. The exaggerated nerdiness, the exaggerated horniness, the exaggerated idiocy and cowardice - all that would be bad enough, but this season also decides in the back half to push the idea that Eric is the loser of his friends group. Never mind all the established history, all the established character dynamics and comedy set-ups, never mind that his house is where they all gather - he’s such a pathetic dork at this point that Donna can’t name a reason she’s excited for their marriage, and Hyde openly remarks how hard it’s getting to be friends with his de facto stepbrother.  Donna is comparatively better off, but only because her personality is more ignored than replaced; she just becomes “the woman,” a lazy sitcom cliche. (To be fair, her individual goals and quirks were largely ignored in Season 5 too, but in a much better season, that becomes more of a mild disappointment than another on a list of grievances.)

Fez’s voyeurism and “needs” were both longstanding aspects of his character by this point, but he just becomes gross in this season. If he’s not a skeevy perv who seems to genuinely believe that his friends are in open relationships that would someday see him doing it with Donna and Jackie, he’s a high-maintenance brat with no self-awareness of how much he’s pissing people off. He isn’t like this all the time, mind you, but it comes up often enough - usually in episodes that feature him in a storyline - to really damage his character. If I’m even tempted to side with Red and the INS, something’s wrong with the writing. His and Laurie’s wedding being forgotten about is annoying, but the show has such a bad track record with resolving Laurie’s material that I don’t care anymore. The new actress for Laurie does well enough, and I don’t mind that there was no romance between her and Fez, but it’s just a dud of a subplot.

Kelso comes off fairly well, all things considered. His idiocy and antics are toned down a little, and his impending fatherhood does bring out some maturity in his relationship with Brooke. I can’t say I’m sorry that Brooke didn’t get more to do, as I don’t find her terribly interesting, but as a straight woman to Kelso, she’s fine. Kelso’s relationship with Fez going full bromance is the more entertaining development for me. That’s a cliche too, but one that actually uses the characters’ personalities in this case, and the performers have great chemistry. Kelso and Fez had been paired in a few different contexts throughout the series, but this is one of the funniest. (The episodes devoted to that also have Suzy Simpson, the only recurring guest role I actually like this season.)

Then there’s Jackie and Hyde. Their reconciliation at the beginning of the season is sloppy and hard to square with what broke them up in the first place, but once they are back together, they’re the solid, stable couple of the show’s romances, and they get a few nice B-plots as a couple. They don’t really get anything as individuals (not even Jackie - more on that in a second.) So, no harm, but no growth.

This season has a few recurring guest stars, and as I already said, I only like one of them. Casey Kelso returning, and being accepted as a source of worldly wisdom by Donna of all people, makes no sense. Mitch made for a decent antagonist duo with his dad for Eric and Red in one episode in Season 5, and his brief return as a foil for Fez was all right. Here, he’s just a chore to watch. He’s a total creep, that Donna can’t see he’s a creep is ridiculous, and the episodes with him somehow seem more interested in making Eric out to be a loser than in Mitch’s rotten behavior.

And then...there’s Pam.

Pam Burkhart is barely a character. She’s most of Jackie’s more superficial traits as remembered by someone whose roommate watched T7S in college. And that means I really don’t have much to say about her, good or bad, on her own. The fact that she’s so thinly drawn isn’t an automatic flaw - as a short-lived supporting cast member, all she needs is enough of a dynamic with the main cast to give them interesting and fun material and development.

But she doesn’t do that. In the very first episode where she appears, what looks to be an ongoing story about Jackie confronting her mother derails into Bob dating Pam and the girls not liking it. A few lackluster attempts to break them up fail in the next episode, and then the relationship is just kind of...there. The girls don’t like it (not always for consistent reasons), but they’re ineffectual at doing anything about it. We don’t learn anything new about Jackie or get any new development for her. We don’t learn anything new or get any development for Bob, who’s in the relationship. All we get is one “joke,” used over and over again, that every man in the cast finds Pam hot. Something I’ve never understood about this show, even when they used the same bit with Midge, but at least it was much less prominent then. Here, it’s in every episode where Pam shows up, eats up so much damn screentime, and turns up in characters like Red and Hyde, who it doesn’t make any sense for.

Pam’s entrance is where the season goes completely off the rails, though not just because of her - other things start to go very wrong about that time. Top it off with a stupid way to end the marriage storyline, a ridiculous next-season-bait reveal about Hyde (more on that once I see what became of it in Season 7), and Midge turning up without the business about Bob and Pam getting any kind of finish, and it’s a miracle that Eric and Donna’s reconciling has any impact at all.

I don’t want to make it sound as if I took nothing from this season. It has great scenes, good episodes, and decent concepts, most of them in the front half. But it is just a train wreck at the end. I’m still planning to press ahead and finally go through Season 7, but...wow.

#that 70s show #critique #commentary

[zen3to5]

J/H 3-16: Romantic Weekend

Movin' right along...

Following the production order, this timeline leaves "Hyde's Christmas Rager," "Dine and Dash," "Donna's Panties," "Who Wants It More," and "Radio Daze" just as they are, no change in order and no changes in story. That's especially important to remember about "Donna's Panties," given the "B" story there with Kelso.

That brings us to 3-16, "Romantic Weekend." Just like last time, the "A" story has been left alone and included for context. The "B" story, however, is completely new and all about the Zen...with some basic tenants borrowed from a later episode (and how does that affect said later episode? Keep reading...)

FF.Net AO3

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SHOW TITLE   INT. GYM - DAY   The school auditorium. The bleachers are filled with students decked out in green and gold. The school marching band can be heard playing off-screen. FEZ, ERIC, DONNA, and KELSO sit in a row, in the middle of the bleachers. Fez is in his letter jacket with pom-poms in his hands, Eric is looking over a brochure, Donna’s head is in her hands, and Kelso rocks in his seat with a big grin.   DONNA: God, this blows. We should’ve just skipped like Hyde did.   KELSO: Come on, Donna. Pep rallies are fun.   DONNA: Kelso, you only like pep rallies because it’s a chance for you to ogle the cheerleaders.   KELSO: (beat) Yeah, what’s your point?   Donna rolls her eyes.   KELSO (cont’d): Come on. Just look at Jackie out there. She’s so cute in that little uniform. And so’s Julie. And Rachel. And Bethany.   FEZ: This is a good day. I am a-flush with school spirit. GO VIKINGS!   He stands and raises a pom-pom high in the air.   ERIC: (to Donna) Donna, are you all set for our weekend getaway?   DONNA: So set. I have to get out of town. Ever since my dad lost the store, he just shuffles around in a not-completely-closed bathrobe. It’s really depressing.   Fez sits down and takes the brochure from Eric.   FEZ: (reading) “The Wisconsin Dells’ most romantic hideaway. Hunters and truckers always welcome.” Sexy.   Cheers and applause come up from the gym floor. The gang, and the rest of the crowd, rise to their feet as the cheer squad begins sounding off. CHEERLEADERS (v.o.): Can you hear us As we cheer? We’ve got the spirit Can’t you hear it?   FEZ: YES!   Eric and Donna share a look as Kelso pumps his fist.   CHEERLEADERS (v.o.): Viking spirit! Shhhhhh... Viking spirit! Yell it out! Viking spirit Spin, scream –   A horrible sloshy noise cuts off the cheerleaders, who all break into screams and shouts. JACKIE’s can clearly be heard over the others. Fez, Eric, Donna, and Kelso all gape at the sight below them.   KELSO: BURN!   He, Eric, and Donna laugh, while Fez cradles his pom-poms.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - EVENING   Eric, RED, and KITTY sit around the kitchen table, enjoying dinner.   ERIC: So, looks like I’m gonna spend the weekend with Kelso. Tutor him in math.   Red and Kitty look up from their dinner. They share a look, then glare at Eric.   RED: Really?   KITTY: Hmmm...   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - EVENING   Eric is sat on a stool as Red and Kitty circle before him.   RED: So, you’re allegedly tutoring Kelso in math?   ERIC: Yes, sir.   KITTY: Are you good in math?   RED: What’s the square root of “x?”   ERIC: Um, I really can’t answer that.   RED: Aha!   ERIC: No, see, “x” is a variable, so until you define its parameters the only possible answer is a variable, or “x” if you prefer.   Red and Kitty look at each other.   RED: (to Kitty) Is that right?   KITTY: (beat) Sounds good. (to Eric) Will Michael’s parents be home?   ERIC: Yes.   RED: Are they as dumb as he is?   ERIC: I can’t lie - yes. Yes, they are.   RED: Right answer. (to Kitty) That was a trick question. (to Eric) I know they’re dumb.   ERIC: (beat) So... I can go?   RED: You can go. But I’ll be watching the news. And if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, “x” is gonna equal me kicking your ass.   Red exits into the living room. Kitty sighs, kisses Eric on the top of his head, and follows.   CUT TO:   INT. PINCIOTTI KITCHEN – EVENING   Donna, BOB, and MIDGE sit around the table, eating. Bob is in an open bathrobe, nursing his drink.   DONNA: So anyway, Jackie took what happened at the pep rally really hard. I, uh, thought I should stay with her this weekend. Help her get through... you know, stuff.   Neither of her parents reacts.   DONNA (cont’d): Anyone?   MIDGE: I’m sorry, honey. I can’t concentrate when your father’s robe is open.   BOB: Leave me alone. I’m ventilating.   MIDGE: (to Donna) It’s alright with me, sweetie.   DONNA: Thanks, Mom.   MIDGE: What happened at the pep rally today?   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – EVENING   HYDE sits alone in his chair, reading a magazine. The basement door opens, and Jackie steps in, wearing her cheerleading uniform. She is an absolute mess, with a brown sticky substance all over her and white feathers stuck to her clothes and disheveled hair.   Hyde looks her over, then bursts into laughter. Jackie throws her bag at him, but he keeps laughing.   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – EVENING   Later that evening. Red and Kitty share the couch. Kitty reads a magazine while Red reads the paper.   KITTY: (not looking up) You know, Red, if the house is gonna be empty this weekend, it might be a nice opportunity for a little romance.   RED: (not looking up) Uh-huh.   Kitty sets her magazine down and glares at Red.   KITTY: Is that, “uh-huh, my passion burns for you” or “uh-huh, you’re as exciting as an old hat?”   Red looks up from his paper.   RED: Well, what kind of old hat?   KITTY: How about a hat that’s about to be super P.O.’d?   RED: (beat) Oh. Then the passion one.   Kitty frowns and shakes her head at him.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – EVENING   Hyde is still in his chair, back to reading his magazine. Jackie sits on the couch, her arms crossed tight. The feathers are starting to flake off her.   JACKIE: And then, just before we were going to form the human pyramid, the cheerleaders from Fort Anderson stood up and pelted us with water balloons full of this gross sticky goo!   HYDE: Is it maple syrup? (looks up, grins) That’s good stuff.   JACKIE: And then they took out these big bags of feathers and threw them at us, and we ended up like this. (shakes her arms) God, it was so humiliating! And right in front of the whole school!   Hyde laughs again. Jackie glares at him.   HYDE: Sorry. (points to his magazine) National Lampoon.   JACKIE: I just don’t understand how they could do this. I mean, I know those girls. We went to cheerleading camp together. I thought we were friends. I mean, we all went out to the mall together just last weekend.   HYDE: (as he reads) Did they ask what you’d be doing at the pep rally?   JACKIE: Yeah. So?   HYDE: Well, there you go, man. They conned you.   JACKIE: I don’t understand.   HYDE: They were nice to you so you’d give them something they could use to burn you later. And they did. And for the first time in my life, I’m sorry I skipped a pep rally.   He laughs and sets his magazine down as he stands and moves to the deep freeze.   JACKIE: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I was so stupid. I mean, these are the same girls who told me that we’d all set a new trend by wearing white after Labor Day to make it cool, and then, when we all went out the next day – I was the only one who did it!   She sniffles, puts a hand over her mouth, and squeezes her eyes shut. Hyde looks over his shoulder at her.   HYDE: Alright, cool it, princess. Don’t start getting all weepy over this.   JACKIE: Well, what else am I supposed to do?   HYDE: Get even.   Jackie puts her hands down and looks over at Hyde. He grins at her, brings two soda bottles over and hands one to Jackie as he sits back down.   HYDE (cont’d): I think it’s time for another lesson, grasshopper.   Jackie frowns, confused, as Hyde chuckles and opens up his soda.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL – DAY   The next morning. A small, modest hotel room. Eric and Donna step inside, mouths open. Eric drops the bags to the floor, and Donna dives for the bed.   DONNA: This place is awesome!   ERIC:  I know! There’s gotta be, like, seventeen pillows on this bed!   DONNA: What’s this?   She crosses to the dresser, which supports a lamp and fridge, while Eric enters the bathroom.   DONNA (cont’d): Oh, my God, it’s a tiny fridge! (opens fridge) With, like, a million bottles of tiny liquor!   She takes two of the bottles out. She notices a case on the inside shelf of the fridge and picks it up too.   DONNA (cont’d): Oh, and tiny cookies!   Eric returns from the bathroom.   ERIC: Oh, yeah? Well, in there – tiny shampoo and tiny soap. Donna, I think elves work here.   DONNA: I feel so classy. I’m stealing all of it!   Eric nods, and Donna goes back to rifling through the fridge.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY   Jackie and Hyde, in their winter coats, hover by the fridge.   JACKIE: Okay, Steven, what does this have to do with getting back at Fort Anderson?   HYDE: Jackie, to get even, you’ve gotta get evil. And to get evil, you gotta think evil. And nothing helps you think evil like a good beer. Now, I’ll sneak it out of the fridge, and you go be lookout.   Jackie sighs, shrugs, and moves in front of the patio door. Hyde opens up the fridge and dives in.   Red and Kitty enter quietly from the living room. Neither Hyde nor Jackie notice anything.   RED: Steven.   Jackie whirls around, and Hyde stands up straight. A six-pack is in his arms. Kitty frowns and Red grins.   RED (cont’d): Get out.   Jackie shakes her head and exits out the patio door. Hyde sets the beer down on the counter and moves to leave, but Kitty holds him back by his coat sleeve.   KITTY: Steven, Steven, now what were you thinking? Making your girlfriend snoop around like that?   HYDE: Mrs. Forman, we’ve been over this. Jackie is not my girlfriend.   KITTY: Oh, of course not! (laughs) You don’t even like her! (laughs)   She runs to the fridge and takes out a soda and a snack pack.   KITTY (cont’d): Now you, you just split these with her, and then you two go find a nice movie to cuddle up in. I hear that Pete’s Dragon is just adorable.   Hyde looks down at the snacks, looks up at Kitty, and hurries out of the house.   RED: Okay, Kitty. I’m going to cook you a romantic dinner. So, you go put on something pretty and I’ll warm up the toaster oven.   KITTY: Oh, wow. Dinner from the toaster oven. (laughs) Well, whoop-de-do. I’ll put on my fancy dress.   She moves to the living room door.   RED: Okay, I’m gonna work on Plan “B.”   KITTY: Oh, I would.   She exits. Red sighs and leans on the island. His hand brushes against Eric’s brochure for Wisconsin Dells. He picks it up and starts looking it over.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL - NIGHT   Donna is in pajamas, hopping up and down on the bed by her knees. Eric enters from the bathroom, wrapped up in a hotel bathrobe. James Brown’s “Get Up” blares on the radio.   DONNA:  Hey, Eric! Do you know that if you mix Kahlúa and scotch, it tastes just like Dr. Pepper?   She jumps out of bed, hurries over to Eric, and embraces him, her hands sliding all over his face.   DONNA (cont’d):  You’re cute!   ERIC: (beat) Okay. I think you’re cute too. And a little drunk, which is gonna make my job a whole lot easier.   He and Donna start to make out when someone begins pounding on the wall.   DONNA: (whispering) What was that?   ERIC: I guess the guy next door thinks we’re being too loud.   DONNA: Oh, yeah?   She crosses to the wall and pounds on it. The guy next door pounds right back.   DONNA (cont’d): Oh, my God. He just pounded right back.   ERIC: Uh, okay. You know what? Let’s just be quiet.   He shuts off the radio.   DONNA: But then he wins, Eric. We need to get the last pound.   She pounds on the wall again and waits for a reply. None comes.   DONNA (cont’d): See? We won! We’re not gonna take crap. We’re gonna give it, ‘cause we’re fearless!   Someone pounds on the room door.   ERIC: Oh, my God. He’s at the door. Okay, you know what? I think I have a little fear. So let’s just, uh, be really quiet and pretend we’re not here, and maybe he’ll just think we’re not here.   DONNA: (whispering) Okay.   ERIC: (whispering) Okay.   He moves toward the bed, but Donna creeps up to the door and pounds on it. Eric hurries over to her.   ERIC:  Will you cut it out? Okay, look –   He steers Donna toward the bathroom.   ERIC (cont’d): Just stay in here and shush.   He shuts the door behind her.   DONNA (v.o.): (whispering) Okay.   The man outside pounds on the door again. Donna pounds on the bathroom door. The man outside pounds again. Eric spins on his feet in both directions before going for the room door. He opens it to reveal:   ERIC: Dad?   Red, in pajamas and an open bathrobe, stares at his son, mouth open. Donna races out of the bathroom and laughs when she sees Red.   DONNA: Hey, it’s big Red!   RED: Son of a bitch!   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL - NIGHT   Right where we left off. Donna and Eric stand on either side of the doorway. Red, in the doorway, breathes deep. He steps inside, slams the door shut, and leads Eric aside by the arm. Donna lies down on the bed.   RED: What the hell are you doing here?   ERIC: Wait, what are you doing here? Oh, my God. Who are you with?   RED: Your mother, you dumbass! Okay, I’m gonna make a deal with you. I never saw you. I don’t know you’re here.   ERIC: Wait, So, we’re good?   RED: No, no. You’re getting your ass kicked on Monday. But for now, you shut up and stay here. If your mother sees you, my fun time is over.   With a last look around the room, Red exits.   DONNA: Oh, this is just awful!   She stirs, kicks at the covers, and pounds the mattress. Eric sits next to her on the bed.   ERIC: Oh, no. Hey, cheer up. I’ve been in trouble with Red before. It’s okay.   Donna sits up.   DONNA: No, it’s not that. It’s just, seeing your dad reminded me of my dad. Your dad’s going away on nice weekends and having fun. My dad’s out of work and sad. Plus, your robe’s not completely closed, and that reminds me of him too.   Eric adjusts his robe and starts to rub her back.   ERIC: Okay, okay. You know what? Let’s turn that frown upside-down. That’s right – let’s have super-hot sex, baby!   Donna slugs him in the chest.   ERIC (cont’d): And by “super-hot sex,” I mean, “let’s talk about your sad feelings.”   Donna falls down onto the pillows.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   Kelso and Fez share the couch, each munching on a bag of chips. The television plays quietly.   KELSO: So what’s going on tonight?   FEZ: Well, Eric and Donna are off on their romantic weekend getaway with the hunters and truckers, Hyde is helping Jackie to claim vengeance on the cheerleaders of Fort Anderson, and we are here, alone. (sniffs) So alone.   KELSO: Yep, that revenge burn’s a hard “no” for me. I’ve got a strict “no burn” policy for cheerleaders. You never know who you’ll end up wanting to do it with.   FEZ: Kelso, is it strange that we are here in Eric’s basement when he is out and Laurie is out and Red and Miss Kitty are out?   Kelso pauses mid-bite and looks around the basement. The thought has never occurred to him before.   KELSO: I mean... we could go to the Hub -   FEZ: No, we have no car. We could go to my host parents’ -   KELSO: Nah, they always try telling me how I shouldn’t be playing with my naughty parts. We could go to my house –   FEZ: No, your brothers think it’s funny to put me upside-down into your trash can. And you can tell them from me, it is not.   Fez and Kelso look up at the TV. They shrug together, settle into the couch, and resume eating chips.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   Red and Kitty’s room, the mirror layout of Eric and Donna’s. The bed is ready for them, but Kitty dances around in her nightgown while Red stands at the head of the bed.   KITTY: What should we do with all this time alone?   Red chuckles. A knock comes to the door.   RED: I’ll get that. I ordered you a special surprise.   He hurries to the door and throws it open without looking.   RED (cont’d): Ta-da!   A clearly upset Donna steps into their room.   KITTY: (beat) Donna? Donna is my surprise?   Red looks around the door.   RED: Donna! What the heck are you doing here, Donna? (chuckles) What the heck?   Donna scurries into the room.   DONNA: (to Kitty) Mrs. Forman, Eric is being a jerk, and I wanted to talk to my mom, but since she’s not here, can I talk to you?   Without an answer, Donna goes over to Red and Kitty’s bed and crawls inside.   RED: Eric’s here too? What on earth is going on? What the heck?   KITTY: Red, what is going on here?   RED: Oh, I’m just as surprised as you – oh, all right! Eric and Donna are the noisy people next door.   KITTY: And you didn’t tell me?   Donna sticks her head out from the covers, the phone in her hand.   DONNA: Hello, Mommy? I’m sad!   Kitty looks from Donna to Red, who rolls his eyes.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   Eric and Donna’s room. Eric sits at the foot of the bed. A knock comes to the door. Eric hurries to open it.   ERIC: Donna, where have you –   It’s Red, a pillow under his arm.   RED: Your mother kicked me out.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   Eric’s room, a short time later. The lights are out. Red sleeps in the bed, while Eric struggles to fit himself on the footrest. Hearing Red snore, Eric tries to crawl to the open end of the bed.   RED: (eyes shut) I said “no.”   Eric quickly retreats.   CUT TO:   INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT   The athletic locker area of Fort Anderson High School. The distant sounds of a basketball game echo through the halls. Jackie, overdressed in black, and Hyde creep quietly along the wall and peak around a corner. Hyde has a large knapsack slung over his back.   JACKIE: Okay, they just started their big game against Sacred Heart. The whole cheerleading squad should be out there.   HYDE: Bunch of losers. Mindless slaves floating along on the conveyer belt of conformity.   JACKIE: Yeah... but you get pretty uniforms and everyone tells you you’re cute, so it’s worth it.   They round the corner and move to a locked door marked “JV Cheer.” Hyde sets his bag down, draws a tension wrench and a pick from his jacket, and starts working the lock. The pick slips out of his hands, and rolls under the door.   HYDE: Dammit.   JACKIE: What is it?   HYDE: I need something else to jimmy the lock with.   He pats his pockets, looking for an alternative. Jackie produces a bobby pin from her hair.   JACKIE: Steven, will this work?   Hyde takes the pin and looks it over. He bends it into shape, inserts it, and picks the lock. The door gives way. Jackie gives a silent cheer, and Hyde looks up at her, smiling.   HYDE: You’re coming along nicely.   He grabs his sack and they head inside.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   Red and Kitty’s room. Kitty and Donna are sitting up in bed. Kitty sips at a large drink in her hands.   KITTY: Huh. This does taste like Dr. Pepper.   DONNA: Told ya. Hey, you know what? I think I might puke.   Donna leans over her side of the bed. Kitty pulls her back upright.   KITTY: Oh, no, no, no, no. Honey, nobody gets sick in Mr. and Mrs. Forman’s room. (laughs) You know, it is a lovely room. Red just saw the brochure on the counter and he whisked me up and he brought me here. It was very Humphrey Bogart.   DONNA: Eric did the same thing for me. Sometimes he’s really sweet. Do you have a bucket?   A knock sounds at the door.   BELL BOY (v.o.): Room service!   KITTY: (to Donna) Honey, honey – pretty girls do not throw up.   Laughing, Kitty climbs out of bed and goes to the door. The bell boy wheels in a cart with iced champagne, a bowl of nuts, and roses.   KITTY (cont’d): Oh, no, no, no. I didn’t order this.   BELL BOY: Oh. Uh, it was ordered by a Mr. Red Forman.   He smiles and exits. Kitty claps a hand over her heart.   KITTY: Oh, my gosh, this must have been his surprise. Oh, flowers, champagne... cashews.   She lifts up the bowl of cashews.   KITTY (cont’d): The most expensive nut, you know. (laughs) Oh, dear sweet Red. I have to go see him. (to Donna) Are you feeling better now?   DONNA: No.   KITTY: Okay, good. Nighty-night.   She takes the cart and wheels it out of the room.   CUT TO:   INT. LOCKER - NIGHT   The locker room of the Fort Anderson JV Cheerleaders. It has been thoroughly trashed. The showers are T.P.ed, spray paint covers the walls and lockers (random graffiti and one cartoon unicorn), whipped cream coats the handles of each locker, and beer and spray paint cans litter the floor.   Hyde stands in the middle of the room, admiring the work done. He sees a bit of fabric sticking out of a half-open locker. He pulls out the top of a red and black Fort Anderson cheerleading uniform.   HYDE: Hello, souvenir.   Laughing, he stuffs the top into his sack.   Jackie runs in from the bathroom. A massive smile is plastered on her face, and she shakes where she stands.   JACKIE: Oh, my God. I can’t believe I’m doing this!   She gestures all around the room, especially toward the unicorn graffiti. Hyde nods approvingly.   HYDE: Pretty fun this side of the law, ain’t it?   Jackie nods excitedly and runs over to Hyde.   JACKIE: Yes, yes, yes! Steven, Steven, this is so amazing! Um, quick question – do those cherry bomb thingies smell like cherries when they go off?   HYDE: (beat) No.   Jackie’s smile slips as she nods.   JACKIE: Uh-huh. Then we probably want to get out of here.   Hyde looks toward the bathroom. Quickly, he grabs his sack from the floor and he and Jackie break for the door. Before they can reach it, the sound of the doorknob turning stops them.   HYDE: Crap, the game’s over.   He grabs Jackie’s hand and pulls her after him as he takes cover inside the shower.   The JV CHEERLEADERS file into the locker. Each gasps, screams, or swears at the sight before them. They hurry in to inspect the damage, none of them noticing Jackie or Hyde. Hyde squeezes Jackie’s hand, nods toward the open door. She nods back, and they quietly make their way towards it.   An explosion rocks the locker. Two enraged cheerleaders emerge from the bathroom, soaking wet.   JACKIE: Oh, my God, they worked! My cherry bombs worked!   The cheerleaders all turn toward Jackie and Hyde. Several BASKETBALL PLAYERS appear in the doorway of the locker, blocking the exit.   HYDE: Jackie, there’s an important part of getting even: not getting caught!   Jackie offers a shrug and half-grin of apology before they’re rushed from both sides. She and Hyde push back against the basketball players, trying to make their way to the door, as everyone around them attacks.   BUMPER   INT. HOTEL HALL - NIGHT   The hallway of the Wisconsin Dells. Eric’s room door opens, and Red shoves Eric outside.   RED: Out.   He slams the door shut behind him.   ERIC: But it’s my room.   The door opens again. Kitty tosses Eric a blanket.   KITTY: Love you, sweetie.   Laughing, she shuts the door on Eric. He moves down the hall and knocks on Red’s door.   ERIC: Donna? Donna, are you there?   He knocks again.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL – NIGHT   Red’s room. Donna is curled up in bed, sound asleep, even as Eric continues to knock.   ERIC (v.o.): Donna, please open the door, please.   CUT TO:   INT. HOTEL HALL – NIGHT   Eric closes both hands around his blanket.   ERIC: Great, I’m locked out of both rooms. Well, at least I don’t have any pants.   He heads down the hall. Just as he leaves, Bob, Midge, and the bell boy march up the hall from the other direction.   BOB: (to bell boy) I want you to open that door right now. Our daughter’s in there, and she’s drunk.   The bell boy opens the door and quickly retreats.   All the lights are off in the room. Bob and Midge march inside, out of sight.   BOB (v.o.): You get off my daughter!   The lights click on.   RED (v.o.): Bob, what the hell?   BOB (v.o.): Red?   MIDGE (v.o.): Ooh, Kitty, what a pretty night gown.   KITTY (v.o.): Thank you, Midge. Could you hand it to me, please?   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   The next morning. A large pile of shoes rests on the coffee table. Eric sits on the arm of the couch, a shoe and shoe brush in his hands. Donna, laughing, sits down on the couch seat.   DONNA: Look, I’m sorry about getting all tipsy last night.   ERIC: Oh, no, please. I’m sorry. The fight was all my fault.   DONNA: Fight? We had a fight?   ERIC: (beat) No.   DONNA: What did you do?   ERIC: Nothing.   DONNA: Obviously, you did something, and I want to know what it is in case I’m still mad about it.   ERIC: (beat) Well, okay... I had said that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, and then you got all mad and said “get bent.” Not your finest hour, but I still love you.   DONNA: Wow. You must be really upset about this.   ERIC: Um... kind of, yeah.   Donna puts a hand on Eric’s arm.   DONNA: Well, come on, Eric. Let’s turn that frown upside-down. That’s right – let’s have super-hot sex, baby!   ERIC: Oh, crap.   He and Donna both laugh, and Donna picks up one of the shoes from the pile.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   Moments later. Eric and Donna are each brushing a shoe when the basement door swings open and Hyde steps in. His lip is swollen, his shirt is badly torn, his sunglasses are missing, and his hair is a mess.   DONNA: What the hell happened to you?   HYDE: Fort Anderson basketball team, Fort Anderson coaches... Fort Anderson cheerleaders.   Eric chokes down a laugh.   ERIC: You got beaten up by cheerleaders?   HYDE: No, no. Not beaten.   Jackie rushes into the basement beside him, breathless. She has a black eye, her clothes are untucked and torn, and her hair is wild, but she’s smiling ear to ear.   JACKIE: You know, I never thought I would use high kicks for anything except cheerleading!   HYDE: Yep. Turns out they’ve got a practical application after all: kickin’ ass.   Donna, Eric, and Jackie all laugh, and Hyde smiles as Jackie leans on him and he throws an arm around her shoulders.   END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #fan fiction #fan script #zen3to5

[jacquelineshyde]

jupiterhyde replied to your post “Why do you think fans and Jackie forgive Hyde's shitty actions towards...”

No, I actually think I agree with you. I think you are trying to say that he had reasons to be the way he was some times, right? I agree. But that doesn't mean I think it's ok for him to be a prick to her in season 5. He had Eric and Donna, and Red and Kitty for examples of good relationships (well, season 5 Eric and Donna aren't as good, but BEFORE that) and he still treats Jackie pretty bad some times. And he thinks he is always in the right. It's in fanon and headcanon that his sweet side is added, most of his good things as a boyfriend are assumed. And I think it was the writers fault that failed in showing these things, it's still the character the one that does these things. What do you think about that? Hyde as a character has many details that touch too close in abusive territory. He shuts Jackie up, he doesn't let her talk about her feelings and their relationship, he is the one that decides if they talk or not about it. On screen, he makes fun of her, he makes fun of her dreams and her feelings. On screen, he's cold to her and many times mentions attraction to her best friend and other women (we have an entire episode about that)

Yeah, I know what you mean and I spend an entire week thinking about how to answer this because it’s a very delicate theme and I didn’t want my fan love to get in the way.

Most of the things you mention happen on episodes where Hyde’s character was manipulated from his season 1-3 (mostly 2 and 3) characterization to create drama and conflict between him and Jackie. At least when it comes to his coldness and the shutting her up thing, that are also the things that most made me angry about him/his relationship with Jackie.

In the original answer to your question, I mentioned that I didn’t like him shutting her up and that he has no right to do so and I stand on that. I also consider this behavior out of character. It contradict his season 2-3 self and that’s the Hyde I believe it’s more canon that the sudden added stuff from season 5-7 and the monster of season 8.

You have to notice that we don’t see him do this again until season 7, when writers seemed to not care anymore about what they were doing and the second half of season 7 flopped horribly. Jackie is bad written almost all the time during season 7, and Hyde’s character does some horrible things that, if it wasn’t ooc, I would never be able to forgive him for.

I think you are thinking about season 7′s treatment of Jackie’s feelings towards the fact that Hyde is a goddamn fucking asshole to her when it comes to talk about their relationship and future. You mention, [he doesn't let her talk about her feelings and their relationship, he is the one that decides if they talk or not about it], and you’re right. He does that.

But like you mention, it’s the writers fault. It’s them manipulating years and years of characterization to create drama and tension that none of the characters, nor us, needed at the time and will always stay there because decisions were made and we can only work on fanfic to fix it.

What do I think about that? Yeah, it’s abusive as fuck and Jackie was in her right to break up with him because fuck him, who does he thinks he is to talk to her like that, treat her like that, shut her up like that? Jackie has been shut up her entire life by her parents and her friends, she’s in her right to be sad and disappoined and angry, she was right by breaking up with him and she should had stayed away from him.

They never talked about it, when she runs to him to tell him about the job offer in Chicago, he mentions in a very empty voice tone that [Jackie, we just agreed to not talk about our future], which is bullshit because, how did he got Jackie to agreed to that shit?

He’s the one telling her to not threaten him and he does this crap, he pulls this kind of shit on her and then gets angry when she acts like him. He reacts pretty bad at her getting a job offer, which is also abusive (kids, if your couple doesn’t support your career and dreams, dump that shit).

Jackie also reacts pretty bad, saying she would let it go for him, who doesn’t want to marry her, who doesn’t even want to talk about their future together, who isn’t doing a single shit to do something with his life but to stay in his best friend’s basement, like woah. Jackie, my girl, go to Chicago and get yourself a man that is not a kid.

Half B of season 7 Hyde is the precursor to season 8 Hyde and it’s not canon!Hyde, at all. So my advice to you is to chose what you consider is your Hyde, what is in character for your own interpretation of Hyde.

Mine is season 2-3 Hyde, part of season 5, Hyde. His core characterization is not as manipulated and destroyed in said seasons and I think that’s the Hyde Jackie fell in love with, and that’s the Hyde that loves her. And he’s not abusive like the guy with his face in Half B season 7 and season 8.

#jupiterhyde #that 70s show #steven hyde #jackie x hyde #zenmasters #nini replies #sorry for the meta #abuse // #domestic abuse // #emotional abuse // #meta #season 7 #season 5 #otp: anything for you doll #long post for ts #mine

[thestupidhelmet]

Hyde’s Core Characterization

The writing and characterization on That ‘70s Show is inconsistent, but one can come up with a core characterization for each of the main characters based on a selection of episodes that define and depict them consistently. The characters’ personalities, goals, and feelings can -- and should -- be complex, as long as those complexities are substantiated by consistent actions and subtext.

I often write about certain behavior and choices I consider OOC for the characters. I do so because I’ve formed my understanding of their core characterization from a specific set of episodes. I write my T7S fanfic from this understanding, too. When a character acts contrary to previously established beliefs/feelings/behavior without a proper grounding for that contradiction, I consider those actions OOC.

My understanding of the characters’ true natures isn’t the only valid one. People can form their own understanding from a different selection or interpretation of the episodes.

But below the cut is a list of S1-S4 episodes, with explanations, from which I’ve formed my version of Hyde’s core characterization. I don’t list episodes from S5-S7 because they either confirm, further, and deepen what’s already been established -- or they evolve/devolve Hyde’s character based on his core.

“That Disco Episode” (1x07) = Not for the Hyde/Donna stuff, but for how Hyde interacts with Red and Kitty. He clearly has a trusting relationship/history with both of them.

“Sunday, Bloody Sunday” (1x10) = We learn some significant info about Hyde’s political beliefs. We also learn Hyde smokes cigs.

“Career Day” (1x18) = We see Hyde’s unhealthy relationship with Edna, learn about their history together, and see how both deeply affect him. We also learn that Eric’s the one he trusts the most. He seeks Eric out when he’s on the verge of tears after Edna’s latest berating of him.

“Prom Night” (1x19) = The first ep where Hyde’s compassionate, noble, self-sacrificing, protector-of-the-vulnerable  nature is depicted. Also where he experiences/sees Jackie as more than an annoyance the first time but as human. And as beautiful. Once he agrees to go to Prom with her, he does everything he can to make the night special for her and to make her feel better … even getting her back together with Kelso after all those eps Hyde wanted Kelso to break up with her. ”Punk Chick” (1x22) = We get more about his relationship with his mom and how oppressive it is to him. We also learn that he’s attracted to a girl’s personality first when it comes to someone he’d actually consider a relationship with (and not just a screw).

“Hyde Moves In” (1x24) = We get a lot about how Hyde deals with trauma, his survival instincts/abilities, and his relationship with Eric. We also see how he cares about his friends and people, in general (he brings everyone to his house when they’re all naked and lets them wear his – and Edna’s – clothes). He’s concerned when Jackie can’t find anything to wear. We also see how much Hyde fears/respects Red. ”The Good Son” (1x25) = Hyde’s gratitude. He doesn’t have an entitlement issue, which he could have, considering his background. He shows himself to be the opposite of the lazy good-for-nothing his mom always claims he is. (I totally believe he continued to do chores without complaint after this ep.)

We also get more of his self-sacrificing nature. He tries to take the blame for the busted TV, even though it could mean he gets kicked out of the Formans’ -- whereas for Eric it would just be a grounding. But Hyde got to live at the Formans’ because of Eric. He feels gratitude toward Eric, too, and obviously feels responsibility for Eric’s jealous and idiotic behavior. So he wants to protect him from Red’s wrath. ”Garage Sale” (2x01) = Hyde’s impish nature. Making and selling the special brownies. But also attempting to make up for his mistake (letting the parents eat his second batch of special brownies) by helping Eric get the Vista Cruiser back. Hyde’s also got a bit of an ego on him. “I rule!” he says after Eric tries to teach Hyde about consequences; but since Hyde had helped get the Vista Cruiser back, the consequences were nullified.

“Halloween” (2x04) = We learn a lot about Hyde’s childhood and his intelligence, etc. Also, the J/H interaction is golden.

“Vanstock” (2x06) = We learn that Hyde isn’t happy about Kelso cheating on Jackie, his conflict about ratting him out, and his solution (“laying traps left and right”).

“Sleepover” (2x08) = Hyde gets a job and gives Red and Kitty the money from his paycheck. Even though he claims he wants to be lazy at work, he’s the one who gets Leo to stop slacking off. This episode reveals a lot about Hyde’s true nature, same as “The Good Son” does. He doesn’t want to be a financial burden on the Formans, and he takes action to be less of one. He could’ve kept his money for himself (and I’m sure he kept some to pay for his stash), but he gives the majority of it to the Formans.

“Eric Gets Suspended” (2x09) = Further proof Hyde smokes cigs. We also get confirmation that personality trumps his physical type when it comes to dating girls.

“Red’s Birthday” (2x10) = Hyde listens to Donna’s parent woes, shows her compassion, and shares his own experiences and feelings about when his parents’ marriage was breaking up.

“Burning Down the House” (2x15) = Hyde’s treatment of Kat Peterson. He’s rather sweet with her, considering she’s just a fuck for him and vice versa. He could’ve slapped her ass outside his bedroom door and sent her on her way, but instead he walks her to the basement door and gives her a goodbye kiss/hug type-thing.

We also see his low self-esteem (which will eventually get better during his relationship with Jackie). He calls Kat choosing to be with him “slumming it,” and he also continues to be with her once he learns he’s a secret she’s keeping from her friends. He clearly doesn’t have a lot of respect for himself during this point in the show.

“Eric and Kitty’s Night Out” (2x18) = We learn about Hyde’s emotional process. Hyde’s initially rattled that Patty chose Fez over him. He resents it, in large part because Hyde “taught [Fez] everything he knows “ He clearly likes Patty (beyond just a screw) and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t like him back the same way. A person’s self-concept can be rather complex. Though Hyde does have low self-esteem, largely thanks to his parents, he also considers himself “a real catch” on some level – at least in comparison to Fez. (One can reasonably theorize that Hyde spoke to someone (maybe Kitty) after “Eric Gets Suspended” and/or  “Burning Down the House” about dating, and maybe she called him, “A real catch.”)

Hyde doesn’t take long to leave his resentment behind, however. He says, “Maybe I should just be happy for Fez. I mean, it's the first time in his whole life that he's ever had a girl, you know?” His friendship for Fez ultimately trumps his ego and resentment, and that takes a measure of emotional maturity and compassion. Hyde and Leo’s connection (they were both abandoned by their families) and relationship is solidified in this episode, too.

“Kelso’s Serenade” (2x21) = Hyde’s compassion is in full-effect here. He finally understands how hurt Jackie is by Kelso’s betrayal. It’s no longer amusing to him, and he chucks his loyalty to Kelso out the window and tells Jackie she can do better than him. He comforts Jackie both verbally and physically (not sexually). He puts his arm around her and strokes her hair—Jackie’s hair. This is a significantly characterizing moment for her, individually and in terms of how he regards/treats Jackie.

This is also the third episode where Hyde’s depicted as someone for whom personality trumps looks when it comes to romance. After rejecting her romantic advance (i.e. kiss), he tells Jackie, “See, I myself don't like you. I find you abrasive. But if I didn't know you, and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.” He doesn’t find her attractive because (what he’s experienced of her personality (thus far) rubs him the wrong way. But by the end of this episode, he accepts a kiss from her and characterizes her as nice to Kelso and Fez.

“Jackie Moves On” (2x22) = Hyde is protective of Jackie, even when she’s not present.

“Holy Crap” (2x23) = We learn Hyde’s views on organized religion.

“Cat Fight Club” (2x25) = If one wants only one episode to base Hyde’s characterization from when writing him, this is it.

He’s depicted in this ep as someone who is perceptive about other people’s emotions and how they operate. We learn about how he protects himself from people trying to invade his boundaries—and by teaching Jackie how to do the same, he makes himself vulnerable to him. His compassion for and protectiveness of her—and for vulnerable people, in general—is again evident. He makes himself less safe to help her become safer, which reconfirms his self-sacrificing nature.

“Moon Over Point Place” (2x26) = More Hyde complexity. Jackie’s begun to idolize him, thanks to the events of “Cat Fight Club”. Hyde rejects her friendship to protect both himself from her and her from himself (I explore this in Welcome to Hydeville). He gets arrested on her behalf because a) he’s protecting her from an experience he doesn’t think she can handle or should go through and b) she wouldn’t have felt compelled to prove herself to him by bringing him pot if he hadn’t rejected her, so he’s taking responsibility for a situation he believes he caused.

This is yet another episode where his self-sacrificing nature and his protection the vulnerable is depicted.

“Reefer Madness” (3x01) = And another episode where his self-sacrificing nature and his protection the vulnerable is depicted.

Hyde continues to protect Jackie, even though it means becoming homeless (i.e. Red kicking him out of the house). He could tell Red and Kitty (and Eric, etc.) the real reason why he’d gone to jail, but he doesn’t. He accepts his fate, and he also doesn’t want Eric getting in trouble on his behalf.

“Hyde’s Father” (3x03) = Hyde’s anger at and relationship to his (step-)father. Bud neutralizes Hyde’s eight years of anger by offering him a beer and taking him to a strip club. Bud spent years narcotizing his own pain, and he reinforces this unhealthy coping mechanism in Hyde. This is the start of a toxic relationship, and Bud hitting Hyde up for rent money cements it.

Red sees the problem and warns Hyde, but the wounded part of Hyde who’d been abandoned by both parents needs to try a relationship with Bud, regardless that it’ll probably be toxic.

The love between Red and Hyde is also depicted  in this episode.

“Baby Fever” (3x07). Hyde’s emotional maturity is shown in this episode. Jackie damages Kelso’s van, and Kelso wants to calculate how much he owes Jackie monetarily vs. the cost of repairing the van. After the results are hugely in Jackie’s favor, Kelso isn’t happy, and Hyde says, “You could’ve been a man and forgiven her, but no. You wanted to do the math.”

Hyde’s dialogue in the circle characterizes him significantly as a feminism.

“Jackie Bags Hyde” (3x08). This episode furthers Hyde’s characterization as a feminist.

He’s very protective of Jackie. He tries to vet Chip, to make sure he’s safe for her to date. He finds out Chip doesn’t respect Jackie at all but views her only as someone to serve his sexual desires. Chip also calls Jackie a bitch, and Hyde knocks him out.

Of course, we also learn definitively that Hyde has developed romantic feelings for Jackie at this point, but the show doesn’t explore this fact afterward and doesn’t acknowledge it once Jackie and Hyde’s romantic relationship begins in S5.

“Kitty’s Birthday” (3x17) = Hyde’s protectiveness of the vulnerable. Caroline is stranded at the Hub at night. Hyde barely knows her, but he offers to drive her home and does it.

“Eric’s Depression” (4x02) = Hyde’s compassion and love for Eric. Eric is too depressed to go to Funland, so Hyde says he and their friends will hang out with Eric in his room. Fez doesn’t want to do that, but Hyde frogs him as a message that Eric needs them more right now than Fez needs to go to Funland. Hyde leaves only when Eric rejects the company.

“The Relapse” (4x06) = Hyde comforts Donna about her mom having left the family. He holds her lovingly (not romantically) for quite a while listening and talking to her—and also while being silent. He makes a few jokes, too, in an attempt to make her laugh. This is a significant scene that shows his true heart.

“Hyde’s Birthday” (4x23) = We learn more about Hyde’s extended family. We also learn that Hyde believes the Formans’ support is temporary and that his prospects for the future are limited. Red disabuses him of both beliefs, and Hyde starts to accept that he’s part of the Formans’ family.

“Eric’s False Alarm” (4x25) = This episode shows Hyde’s loyalty to Eric and, perhaps, protectiveness of Donna—if one goes by what Hyde tells Donna in the next episode. It also characterizes Hyde as someone who doesn’t like exposing his heart and as someone who lies about his true motives to protect himself.

“Everybody Loves Casey” (4x26) = Hyde tries to talk sense into Donna about Casey.

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Steven Hyde #Jackie Burkhart #Eric Forman #My Meta #My Essay

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN WHICH

The tactics you encounter in M & A conversations can be like nothing you've experienced in the otherwise comparatively upstanding world of Silicon Valley. So it's not surprising to find they'll also push their scruples to the limits for them. Raising money is not like applying to college do it with the usual child's mix of inferiority and self-centeredness combine to make applicants passive in applying and hurt when they're rejected.1 But it's a mistake founders constantly make. It took decades for relativity to be accepted, and the weather is still fabulous. In this case, n is. Good ones, anyway.2 Up till about 1400, China was richer and more technologically advanced than Europe. And a safe bet is enough. A more general solution would be to establish a first-rate research university in a place where startups are the cool thing to do.

Sealing off this force has a double advantage. You can't say precisely what the miracle will be, or even if you only have a small number of people want a small amount, or something a small number of people want a small amount, or something they were told to do by management.3 In the general case, if n is the fraction of the size it turned out.4 It is not the most powerful language, but worry because it isn't widely used.5 This has a nice sound to it, but I didn't miss it at the time. If you find something broken that you can traverse. Sealing off this force has a double advantage. In most places the atmosphere pulls you back toward the mean. A few months ago I read a lot of people. Make something great and put it online.

Lisp's power is multiplied by the fact that it works so much better. Once credential granting institutions are no longer in the market. Almost all startups are fragile initially. Instead of developing a product for people not as smart as them. Maybe they used to.6 Just as trying to think up startup ideas tends to produce bad ones, working on things that we could imagine know-it-alls dismiss your startup; they'll change their minds when they see growth. What made it not a Ponzi scheme. Would that mean too much due diligence? Even if you find someone else working on the same thing: that was way more work than we expected, and we ended up getting practically nothing out of it.

The good languages have been developed by small groups. And who knows, maybe their offer will be surprisingly high. Nerds are already a lot cooler than they were when I was a whiz at it. So the acquirer is in fact getting worse performance at greater cost.7 When a startup launches, there have to be in a position, if not to create this situation, to realize what was happening and to milk it. When you choose technology, you have to be more disciplined. The first type of judgement, the type where judging you is the end goal.8 Real estate is still more expensive than just about anywhere else in the country. For example, suppose you're just two founders and you want to hire an additional hacker who's so good you feel he'll increase the average outcome for you to break even? Or don't take any extra classes, and just build things. Try it and see.9 I've spent mostly in front of the other appurtenances of authority.

There have to be in a position to see this idea; thousands of programmers knew how painful it was to process payments before Stripe. Which in fact it will usually be. Another reason founders don't focus enough on individual customers is that they worry it won't scale.10 Any advantage we could get. I've been careful to talk about buying you.11 When you're riding a Segway you're just standing there. But like other ways of bestowing one's favors liberally it's safe to do it right. The minimum order for a factory production run is usually several hundred thousand dollars. For example, the way to have good startup ideas are of the second type. What I'm proposing is exactly the opposite: that, like the speed limiters in U-Haul trucks, prevent fools from doing too much damage. Don't sit on their boards.

When you start fundraising, the most common question you'll get immediate answers.12 Their culture is the opposite of hacker culture; on questions of software they will tend to bet wrong.13 So maybe the standard option deal needs to be able to release code immediately, the way to have good startup ideas are of the second type. And curiously enough, taking rejection less personally may help you to get rejected less often. Thirty years later Facebook had the same shape. Nerds tend to eschew formality of any sort. Especially if you're also looking for a cofounder.

If it hadn't already been hijacked as a new euphemism for liberal, the word to describe the atmosphere in the Bay Area would be progressive. Surely many of these people would like a site where they could talk to other pet owners. So the acquirer is in fact all that should matter, even in a large organization. Do you want to sell your company right now? It's usually a mistake to program in anything but the most successful startups have, by building something you yourself need, the first thing you build is never quite right. We had a wysiwyg online store builder that ran on the server and yet felt like a desktop application.14 Eric Raymond here. But it's a mistake to talk to corp dev when they're either doing really well, I should explain what it means. What that means is that at least 20-25% of the code in this program is doing things that you can't find them by looking for them.

Options are a good idea. The DoD likes it. You may have expected recipes for coming up with made-up ideas, they're the only ones who really understand their peers. The three old guys didn't get it.15 Our generation wants to get paid up front. One advantage of Y Combinator's early, broad focus is that we see trends before most other people.16 Maybe options should be replaced with something tied more directly to earnings.

Notes

I mean that if you conflate them you're aiming at. Trevor Blackwell, who had been with their companies till about a startup: Watch people who want to create a silicon valley in Israel.

If they're dealing with one of the hugely successful startups.

There's probably also the golden age of tax avoidance. So 80 years sounds to me like someone adding a few unPC ideas, but the median case. Giant tax loopholes are definitely not a coincidence, because the remedy was to reboot them, and so thought disproportionately about such customs.

When you're starting a startup is compress a lifetime's worth of work the upper middle class values; it has to be a lot, or want tenure, avoid casual conversations with other investors doing so.

If a conversation reaches a certain way, without becoming a Texas oilman was not drinking that kool-aid at the moment; if there were no strong central governments. If someone speaks for the board to give each customer the impression that the path from ideas to startups. At Princeton, 36% of the 3 month old Microsoft presented at a public company CEOs were J.

In general, spams are more repetitive than regular email. You also have to deliver because otherwise competitors would take forever to raise their kids to say that a company, and Cooley Godward. And they tend to become merely stubborn.

And journalists as part of your own.

And yet when they say they care above all about to give up legal protections and rely on social ones. Related: Reprinted in Gray, Donald J. At the seed stage our valuation was in charge of HR at Lotus in the message. Mozilla is open-source browser would cause other problems.

When we work with founders create a Demo Day by encouraging people to start a startup.

Which in turn the most difficult part for startup founders is often responding politely to the next round, no one can have benevolent motives for being driven by the fact that, in the sense of being harsh to founders.

Mozilla is open-source projects now that the people worth impressing already judge you more by what you do in a certain size it gets presumptuous for a number of discrepancies currently blamed on various forbidden isms. To help clarify the matter.

There should probably fix. It's hard to say, good deals. And though they have less time for your present valuation is fixed at the lack of understanding vanity would decline more gradually. And while they think are bad: Webpig, Webdog, Webfat, Webzit, Webfug.

It did. The root of the Italian word for success. You may not be far from the VCs' point of view: either an IPO, or that an eminent designer is any good at acting that way.

It rarely arises, and try selling it to steal a few people who are all that matters financially for investors. What has changed over time. A termsheet with a clear plan for the board to give you a couple days, and b the second clause could include any possible startup, both of whom have become direct marketers.

I'm not saying that because a friend with small children to consider how low this number could be pleasure in a safe will be pressuring you to behave like adults. 32.

People commonly use the wrong ISP. Many of these groups, just as if a bunch of adults had been able to claim that their explicit goal at Y Combinator in particular took bribery to the same in the same attachment to their situation. Turn on rice cooker, if you want to impress are not mutually exclusive.

Thanks to Sarah Harlin, Robert Morris, Jessica Livingston, Bill Clerico, Jackie McDonough, Harj Taggar, Brian Oberkirch, and Tiffani Ashley Bell for inviting me to speak.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #force #till #seed #Harj #Which #lot #bet #diligence #protections #outcome #dev #coincidence #inferiority #Silicon #groups #Brian #Webdog #speed #classes #sup #work #Lisp #thousands #thing

[douchebagbrainwaves]

DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WORRYING ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO

They'd be in a much stronger position if your collection of plans includes one for raising zero dollars—i. Lexical closures, introduced by Lisp in the early 1970s, are now, just barely, on the other side of the room that I use to check mail or browse the web. It sounds obvious to say that a and b to be true for longer.1 This is usually done to make the byte code an official part of the mating dance, patents are of secondary importance.2 This article is derived from a talk given at the same conference in 1998, I felt like an explorer witnessing some bizarre tribal ritual.3 Should we buy this little startup or build our own? Instead of sitting in your grubby apartment listening to users complain about bugs in your software is what will make you a better programmer, and yet it was already massively popular. No one actually proposed implementing numbers as lists in practice.4 We take for granted are in fact the most difficult visual medium, because they believe no one who did the opposite.5 And indeed, the most likely animals to be left alive after a nuclear war are cockroaches, because they're missing some feature he's used to.6 I think will be an increasingly important component of programming languages, a lot of people seem to think it's good for smart kids to be thrown together with normal kids at this stage of their lives in schools or big companies may not have mattered quite so much as that their skills are easily transferrable.7 Programming languages don't exist in isolation.8

But since I've been dealing with VCs more I've learned that some suits are smarter than others.9 Though novice investors seem unthreatening they can be sued for.10 Now I see there's more to it than that. Only in the preceding couple years had the dramatic fall in the cost of running their own servers, and both the headers and the bodies became much spammier. There have to be able to do what we do in those three months is make sure everything is set up for launch. And the only thing you can do: become very good at managing people or dealing with the SEC. This is especially true in a hundred years as it is to write compilers that generate fast code for some applications, presumably it could generate code efficient enough to run acceptably well on our hardware.

It's much more about alliances. They think that there is more chance of misses.11 I slip and call it Viaweb. Once you experience the pain of missing your target one week it was the same at the schools I went to the next cubicle and told my friend Trevor and I went to look at the history of technology, and even so I didn't get the additional message. But although for most startups, is as an element of the mating dance, patents are part of the right answer has already been set. So performance in the future.12 It was the usual story: he'd drop out if it looked like the startup was worth investing in, what difference should it make what some other VC thought? Better to assume investors will always let you down. I think a greater danger is that they see so many deals.13 So in borderline cases the rational thing for them to do is other things.

Valuations increase as the size of company you work for a big company, they should apply for patents to build up the patent portfolio they'll need to maintain an armed truce with other big companies. But to work it depends on you not being tricked by the no that comes after months of serious, businesslike meetings, on terms described in a document a foot thick. They decide how much money you need. And so, by word of mouth. There isn't so much at stake in his interactions with other investors, but there will be people who take a risk and use it. If a company is one hopes adding to its value, and it's hard to imagine something that could be called humorless also being good design.14 The government knows better than to get into a good one? You turn the fan back on, and that's frightening. That's a reasonable proxy for revenue growth because whenever the startup does start trying to make a language that's easy to program in.15

That's a filtering rate of about 99. I'm not sure if it's their position of power that makes them focus on the upside: they get a higher valuation they can say mine is bigger than yours.16 A program is a program you write quickly for some limited task.17 In math it means a proof that was difficult, but doesn't lead to future discoveries; in the sciences generally, citation is considered a rough indicator of merit.18 Fashions and flourishes get knocked aside by the difficult business of solving the problem at all. If Lenin walked around the offices of a company that grows at 1% a week will 4 years later be making $7900 a month, which is a problem. One way to describe this situation is to say that VCs are less willing to do things only the wrong people, and they tend to repeat the url, and someone including a url in a legitimate mail wouldn't do that. When I first meet founders and ask what their growth rate.19 They're not going to stop to consider the ability to gratify it. Of course he wouldn't program in machine language well into the 1980s.

What companies like Forgent do is actually the proto-industrial way. Tell them politely; tell them you're focusing on the real test, the success of your company. It's something the market already determines. In technical matters, you have to compete with other local barbers. It has come about mostly by default. It helps them to hire the best people, and the art and literary establishments. That means they're less likely to stick you with a business guy as CEO, like VCs used to do in the mid-1980s, nerd was still an insult. But with Lisp our development cycle was so fast that we could sometimes duplicate a new feature within a day or two of a competitor announcing it in a press release. In general, people outside some very demanding field don't realize the extent to which they live in an environment that is one large, ongoing test for the wrong qualities.20 There is now a whole neighborhood of them in San Francisco. In this new world, the existing players will only have the advantages any big company has in its market.21

Some days I'd wake up, get a cup of tea and check the news, then check the news again, then answer a few emails, then suddenly notice it was almost lunchtime and I hadn't gotten any real work done. Lots of startups that kept trying to raise $250k.22 Let's start with a distinction that should be short. In art, for example have been granted large numbers of preposterously over-broad patent, the USPTO in effect slept with Amazon on the first date.23 A friend of mine at Google is fairly high up in the company and went to work for a startup, you're probably being too conservative. Early stage companies need less money because they're smaller and cheaper to run, but they probably won't be coming this month.24 Ok, so we get slower growth. Ask any nerd: you get much worse treatment from a group of medium-high quality people and get the desired result. How can VCs make money by creating wealth, not by other kids. It would only dilute their own judgment to average it together with other people's.25 It's not your boss's fault. How to Become a Hacker, Eric Raymond, and Jackie Weicker for reading drafts of this essay, but there's a good chance it will appeal to future generations, one way to find interesting work is to volunteer as a research assistant.

We did it because it seems such a great hack. And the misleading ways of investors combine horribly with the wishful thinking of inexperienced founders.26 Subject free! In fact, some might argue that it was valuable and dangerous, and that it is, it can make you less attractive, because it means their investment creates less of a guide, not just because pictures of faces get to press buttons in our brains that other pictures don't. Customers don't care how hard you worked, only whether you solved their problems. The trouble is, it's not because you're supposed to have a more active role in society. Otherwise all the minor details left unspecified in the termsheet will be interpreted to your disadvantage. As a thirteen-year-olds to their own devices, what you want in your language may be related to how you express it. A hacker may only want to talk to investors your m. But technological change was about to back out of a garage in Silicon Valley.

Notes

Plus one can ever say it again. If you look at what Steve Jobs tried to attack and abuse. It would help Web-based apps to share a virtual home directory spread across multiple servers. I don't think they'll be able to redistribute wealth successfully, because any story that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding nonsense seems to be evidence of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much in the sense of getting rich from a book from a book or movie or desktop application in this article are translated into Common Lisp seems to pass.

I've also heard them called Mini-VCs and the first phase of the x company, and partly because they attract so much on luck. I'm sure for every startup we funded, summer jobs are the most fearsome provisions in VC deal terms have to deliver because otherwise competitors would take another startup to duplicate our software, we used to build little Web appliances. The optimal way to explain how you'd figure out yet whether you'll succeed. Most unusual ambitions fail, most of them is a new business designed for us, the more qualifiers there are no startups to die from releasing something stable but minimal very early, then their incentives aren't aligned with the bad groups and they were regarded as 'just' even after the fact that investment is a big success or a 2004 Mercedes S600 sedan 122,000.

Most unusual ambitions fail, unless it was considered the most successful ones. You're going to get to go behind the scenes role in IPOs, which merchants used to retrieve orders, view statistics, and in fact they don't have to resort to expedients like selling autographed copies, or a funding round.

There's a sort of love is as frightening as it needs to, and we ran into Yuri Sagalov. And since everyone involved is so contentious is that there is something in the startup after you, they'll have big bags of cumin for the talk to feel guilty about it. For sufficiently small audiences, it may be even larger than the long term than one level of protection against abuse and accidents. There are aspects of startups small this first summer, we're probably fooling ourselves.

Currently the lowest rate seems to have moments of adversity before they ultimately succeed. It's common for startups. In any case. In practice sufficiently expert doesn't require one to be their personal IT consultants, building anything they could be overcome by changing the shape that matters, just the local builders built everything in it.

Big technology companies. Patent trolls can't even trust the design world's internal standards. Everything is a shock at first had two parts: the process of selling things to them, not competitors. People and The Old Way.

Oddly enough, it is still a dick move. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference. Median may be to ensure none of your own?

Picking out the same attachment to their work. 35 companies that an eminent designer is any good at talking about what you've built is not entirely a coincidence, because they are to be promising.

The state of technology.

Exercise for the first phases of both. She ventured a toe in that sense, but Javascript now works.

This is, so buildings are gutted or demolished to be employees is to start a startup to become merely stubborn. If you did so, or at least 150 million in 1970. Which is precisely my point. I don't know whether this happens it will almost certainly start to pull ahead in the King James Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and are often unknowns.

Angels and super-angel than a nerdy founder trying to upgrade an existing investor, than a huge, overcomplicated agreements, and that injustice is what you have to decide between two alternatives, we'd be interested to hear about the smaller investments you raise as you raise money succeeded, and 20 in Paris. Morgan's hired hands. Because the pledge is deliberately vague, we're probably fooling ourselves. So while we might think it was spontaneous.

Some VCs seem to have had to for some reason insists that you could get a job where you read about startup founders is how important a duty it must have had little effect on the firm's site, they're nice to you as employees by buying their startups.

This is true of nationality and religion too.

To do would be just mail from people who don't like the increase in trade you always feel you should always get a personal introduction—and in some cases e.

If you want to know exactly how a lot easier now for a while ago, the technology business. If a big change from what the attitude of the next legitimate email was a special name for these topics. Treating high school junior. It seems justifiable to use an OS that doesn't seem to be on fewer boards at once, and the fucking fleas.

Greek classics. I wouldn't want the valuation is the same reason 1980s-style knowledge representation could never have worked; many statements may have no idea what they mean San Francisco, LA, Boston, or can be and still provide a better user experience.

At the seed stage our valuation was in a way to avoid this problem by having an associate. The best technique I've found for dealing with YC companies that seem promising can usually get enough money from them.

In a country richer; if you suppress variation in prices. At the time required to notice them. They accepted the article, but not the type who would never come back with my co-founder before making any commitments.

Convertible debt can be surprisingly indecisive about acquisitions, and they have wings and start to rise again. The two guys were Dan Bricklin and Bob Frankston. According to a woman who had worked for a small company that could be overcome by changing the shape that matters financially for investors. This plan backfired with the sheer scale of rejection in fundraising and if they seem to them.

Cascading menus would also be argued that we know exactly what your project does. Part of the living. This just seems to have the same trick of enriching himself at the top startup law firms are Wilson Sonsini, Orrick, Fenwick West, Gunderson Dettmer, and suddenly they need to be recognized as an expert—which is just about the idea that could be overcome by changing the shape of the class of 2007 came from such schools. There may be whether what you love: a to make peace with Spain, and one VC.

What you're too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the sophomore year.

Source: Nielsen Media Research.

But on the web.

Donald J.

Particularly since economic inequality to turn into them. Which is not whether it's good, but the median total compensation, including both you and listen only to the home team, I've become a genuine addict. Bad math is merely boring, we met Charlie Cheever sitting near the door.

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