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kcwcommentary · 5 years

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VLD8x01 – “Launch Date”

8x01 – “Launch Date”

First episode of the last season. This is probably the most romance-centered episode this show has ever done. And, this is the only episode solely written by Lauren Montgomery. The episode is clearly intended to be funny, but I didn’t laugh at much.

There are a lot of issues that can be discussed about this episode, about its own contents, especially the Allura-Lance romance, and about the episode’s relationship to the rest of the series. There’s a lot in this episode that bothers me.

The episode begins with some kind of meta commentary from this show about the original Voltron. I can understand VLD doing something like this as an homage to the original, but I, having not watched much of the original, don’t know if this particular homage works or not. Pidge is watching a cartoon that is, in-story, a production that has been made in wake of humanity learning about the existence of and being saved by Voltron last season. The show Pidge is watching is a short clip from the original Voltron animation.

In a medical bay, faceless medical personnel (I thought their faceless visual design last season was creepy then too) are tending to the Altean found in the wreckage of the mecha from the end of last season. Allura is watching from outside the room, and Romelle steps up to her, saying, “You know, back on the Colony, Luca and I didn’t always get along.” So, Romelle knows who this Altean is. Romelle gives us an expositional assessment of what Luca’s supposed qualities were, “inner strength,” “a desire to be a part of something greater than herself.”

The show presented the culture of the Colony to be very much a cult, but the show hasn’t really followed up with that and examined Romelle from that perspective. She’s just now become another regular Altean without really having to do anything to change. Even if she was the least cultish of the Colony Alteans, she still would most likely have to wrestle with the effects of growing up in a cult. This show has never demonstrated itself to be capable of dealing with big, heavy topics like that, so I don’t know why I would expect them to do so.

Allura responds to Romelle, “If she was so desperate for something to believe in, it may have made her susceptible to being manipulated.” The show has never given us any conversation between Allura and Romelle for the two of them to discuss what the Colony was like. Does Allura even realize that the Colony was a cult? Romelle’s characterization of Luca almost has a propagandistic quality to it. That description very much can apply to someone who has always been a zealot, then and now.

Hunk and his parents (and Sal from Vrepit Sal’s in the background) are in what looks like a mess hall. It’s a short, overly saccharine moment. “Your father and I are just so proud of you, saving the universe and all,” his mother says. That line feels so unnatural.

Hunk sits down with Lance, who’s clearly mentally elsewhere. Hunk expositions that the following day is the titular launch date. Launch Date also serves as a pun referencing the date that Lance and Allura go on in this episode. It’s more thought than most of this show’s episode titles get, and I kind of like it. At first, I thought Hunk could tell Lance was upset and was trying to distract him. Hunk riffs on the difference between the characters in VLD and the characters in the in-story TV show that Pidge was watching. But then when Hunk talks about the TV show hinting a romance between Keith and Allura, Lance reacts with instant, angry jealousy. Is Hunk really that oblivious and unable (or unwilling) to recognize his supposed friend Lance’s emotional state?

Hunk eventually realizes that Lance is talking about something real, “Oh, that’s right, you said you were going to ask Allura on a date. You asked her, didn’t you? Oh, and she said, no. And here I am rubbing your face in it.” Lance says she didn’t say no because he never asked her. Is this supposed to be demonstrating character growth for Lance? The guy who literally flirted with Allura the first time he ever spoke to her is too unwilling to ask her out now? It feels out of character for him. He’s been super open and publicly demonstrative of his interest in Allura before now.

Shiro is leading a “final briefing” before the launch tomorrow. At the end of the meeting, Shiro says, “It’s our last night on Earth, and we’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us. We may not be back home for years, so I’m ordering you to take some time for yourselves. Be with the ones you love. You’ve earned it.” Of course, what he says makes sense. What bothers me is that this show wrote him to say it, but we don’t get to see him doing it. The only person Shiro has that could count as a loved one is Keith with their previously depicted but now ignored friendship. And it’s not like Keith was busy with someone else this night because the show eventually reveals he’s just sitting alone on top of the Black Lion with Cosmo. Why in the world did Shiro and Keith not hang out together? It makes it feel like the EPs and writers of this show, because they revealed Shiro to be gay, became too afraid to have Shiro have any friendships, including ones that had already been established.

Lance goes to ask Allura out, and he’s uncharacteristically shy and dorky around her. If this had been how Lance behaved for most of the show, his interest in Allura throughout the show might not have been so obnoxious. But because he so specifically was overbearing in his flirtation and aggressive in his jealousy, the way he’s behaving now does not feel consistent with how he’s been written before. Lance is so casual that Allura says she has to get back to what she’s busy with, and Lance lets it be until Hunk literally kicks him into Allura. Lance then finally, with a tremendous amount of hesitancy, asks her out. He asks her to come have dinner with his family. Allura says she can’t, but Romelle pushes her to do it. The instant that Romelle starts to talk Allura into it, Lance seems to return to his regular overly aggressive self. What happened to him so fast?

Especially with this season added to the show, it really feels like the creative team never really could settle on how they wanted to depict Lance. They had the one-characteristic bullet-point that they’ve used to describe him in-show before and do so again here: “Loverboy.” They knew they wanted him to fit under that label, but they couldn’t elaborate on what that would mean for him specifically, so he’s written inconsistently throughout the show because of the creative team’s inability to unify behind any detailed description of who he is. It’s disappointing because Lance could have been such an amazing character. There were definitely times where he could have been used to examine some big issues, particularly if the show had ever had him grow out of his insecurities to a place of confidence. But aside from this episode and once with Keith in 3x06 “Tailing a Comet,” Lance hasn’t really made his insecurities public. And in having him get with Allura, the show kind of feels like it’s discarding his insecurities entirely. That sends a dangerous message: that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make a man feel secure in himself.

That’s one of the biggest issues with the show writing Lance and Allura ending up together. Throughout the show Lance has expressed interest in Allura, while she has repeatedly demonstrated no interest in him. There has been a little bit of movement on Allura’s part toward interest in Lance: 6x01 “Omega Shield” when Allura left her Lion to go to Lance’s and use her magic to heal him (though some viewers think so, I am not of the opinion that Lance died in that episode), and then in 7x10 “Heart of the Lion” when Allura initiates a brief conversation with Lance before going on a mission. There hasn’t been any movement on Lance’s part to consciously recognize his prior overbearing behavior to have been inappropriate and him changing the way he behaves toward Allura as a result. Because of this, the show effectively gave validity to the argument behind the Nice Guy trope. That all guys have to do to receive the attention of a girl they’re interested in is keep at her until eventually she realizes he is what she’s wanted all along. This show never criticizes Lance for this behavior, and instead rewards him for it. It’s a dangerous message for this show to send its younger male audience because it teaches them to not respect when a girl/woman tells them no. I’m not against the premise of an Allura-Lance relationship, but it really needed to address Lance’s overbearing flirtatiousness and jealousy (or better yet, not have written Lance to have been so jealous in the first place).

Pidge is working with Beezer in a hydroponics room. Allura and Romelle come in to ask for help preparing for Allura’s date with Lance. Romelle specifically asks about clothes. Pidge reacts, “A date? With Lance? Weird.” What’s weird is that line. Why would Pidge think it was weird? The show never actually explains Pidge’s reaction here. Allura asks Pidge to help her get a date outfit, and that’s when Pidge’s mother speaks to mock Pidge’s clothing. Pidge suggests the mall, but she says she can’t go because she’s grounded.

Colleen says, “She’s grounded because apparently my daughter thinks that running away from home and galivanting off into space without her mother’s permission is an acceptable activity for a 15-year-old.” The show thinks Colleen’s statement is funny. It’s not funny at all. One, who is Colleen to speak, considering that she should be in prison along with Sam for breaking the law in 7x07 “The Last Stand Part 1.” Two, how are we viewers supposed to think Colleen has any credibility when she says Pidge has been “galivanting off into space?” Does Colleen not remember Earth being invaded and occupied by aliens for three years? Does she not realize the danger her daughter has been in while trying to fight this war against the Galra? Does she not realize that without Pidge’s actions, Matt and Sam wouldn’t have ever come home? “Galivanting off into space,” why in the world did they think it was okay to write Colleen like this? I think this demonstrates a big part of what has been wrong with the writing for most of this show: This show has been more interested in writing particular moments without any concern with how those moments clash and conflict with previous writing. There is no way that a mother would react upon learning their child had been fighting a war by acting like that child was running around having fun the way Colleen does here.

Pidge rants and screams at her mom. There is a justification to Pidge’s reaction, but the scene plays her anger for humor. And then the scene, again, thinking it’s funny, has Colleen’s eyes and voice affected evilly as she says, “Not on your life, young lady.” Colleen scares Beezer in the process. It’s disturbing that the creative team for this show thought this was funny.

Allura asks Colleen to please let Pidge help her, and Colleen instantly switches, saying, “Alright, but only because I know how much Katie hates shopping for clothing.” Ugh.

The show could have had a really good moment, had they chosen to do so, in having Colleen and Pidge talk about Pidge’s experience and Colleen’s worry over her whole family being missing. There is emotionally significant content to what this family has gone through. But the show never had the skill to deal with any content like that. Instead, they have a weird, jarring “humor” scene like this instead. It just does not work.

Sam is told that Luca is conscious. And it’s a really short scene.

In addition to Pidge, Allura and Romelle have the female MFE pilots join them shopping too. I can’t help but feel that this episode is totally reinforcing stereotypical female behavior. The girls are going shopping for clothes for a date. This episode is a severe reinforcement of traditionalized gender norms, and it feels like the show wanted to write and depict the stereotype, like they thought actively including the stereotype was somehow interesting. It’s not. It’s actually kind of cliché.

Rizavi says that she “loves shopping.” This is the closest thing to being a characteristic that this show has given Rizavi so far. Leifsdottir replies, “It’s a primal urge from when collecting and gathering was a means of survival.” Well, that’s a hypothesis, but it is still gender reductive.

Pidge sees a video game some street vender has on display. Rizavi is also interested. The vender wants to barter, and Pidge and Rizavi are seemingly baffled by the idea. Did they not come prepared to shop? Is it specifically that this guy wants to barter? No one offers him money though, so it’s like they have no way to shop at all. Rizavi tries to guilt the guy into giving it to Pidge because of Pidge being a Paladin. I didn’t realize abusing a position of power like Rizavi is trying to do here, was a heroic way to behave. The vender only knows of the Paladins through the TV show. It was only a few months ago that Voltron helped liberate Earth, and the Paladins’ involvement was very publicly referenced, so his only thinking of the Paladins as a TV show is unrealistic. The vender offers her the game because his daughter loves the TV show and he’d like an autograph. Pidge then starts affecting her voice like the character in the TV show. It’s so weird. Rather than actually sign an autograph, Pidge draws her face. She then continues to use this method to acquire things throughout their shopping. She’s using people thinking of her as the actor on the show rather than as herself, so this is all fraud. Is the entire Holt family made up of criminals?

The show clearly thinks this is all funny. I’m not even slightly laughing. It’s just weird.

Meanwhile, Lance goes to talk to Coran. Lance tells Coran that he’s going on a date with Allura, and Coran is instantly aggressive, dismissing Lance for not being royalty nor Altean. Who knew Coran was both classist and racist. Lance says that he doesn’t think Allura thinks like that, and Coran responds, “It’s not just about Allura. Did you even acquire permission from her primary guardian?” Ugh! This episode really is putting a lot of effort into not just reinforcing traditionalized gender norms but into those norms being fundamentally patriarchal. The idea that a boy has to ask an older male who controls a young woman if he’s okay with the boy dating the girl is absolutely patriarchal. And this episode was written by Lauren Montgomery. The show can’t even hide behind saying it was some ignorant straight, white guy who wrote this. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that Lauren Montgomery has said that killing Allura was a feminist act of writing if this episode is what she wrote in her one, solo writing credit for the show.

The only thing that’s even slightly interesting to me about this scene is that Coran redressed his room to include a giant portrait of himself and Alfor above the mantle. During the time before season seven when I would let myself dream about the idea that this show might include a character who wasn’t straight, I actually thought they might could do so by having Coran having been attracted to Alfor but never acting on it. It would be a way for this show, like other shows have done, to claim inclusion without actually having to do any real inclusion by depicting any non-straight character interaction. It would have been cheap and the bare minimum of inclusion, but I’ve lived in a homophobic world so long that it’s about as much as I expect from straight writers who pretend they care about inclusion. But then Shiro was revealed as gay, as poorly as that whole element of the show was handled, and the show proved that there are other ways to claim inclusion without really actually depicting it.

But now this leaves me questioning. Is this portrait supposed to be some subtle way the show was trying to hint at Coran being gay? Or is it just supposed to be funny without an actual thought about what it actually means? It’s like the portrait is saying that Alfor and Coran were Allura’s fathers. As much as I would have loved for Allura to canonically have had two fathers, not just one biological father and one close friend of the family who serves as a surrogate father after the real one dies, this does emphasize how this show has totally neglected to include Allura’s mother in her life. We’re in the eighth season of this show, and it’s almost like she didn’t have a mother. I know there’s a bit of illusory dream sequence in a later episode, but Allura has never spoken about her mother, so it’s like they didn’t have much of a relationship. But if they didn’t have a relationship, I still would want that detailed. As for this portrait, it feels like the show is using queer identity here as a joke gimmick. If this portrait was revealed to have a bigger, more respectful meaning, I would like it more. I like the portrait but only because of what potential I can see in how it could have been used in the show. How it actually is used, though, seems to be nothing but as a joke.

Coran makes Lance argue his qualification to be allowed to date Allura. Reinforcing the patriarchy is so much fun. Sigh.

The girls meanwhile have gotten a lot of stuff in their shopping. The clothing options they try for Allura are supposed to be funny, but it just seems like a cliché trying-on-clothing scene to me. The shopkeeper seems to be the Unilu that Coran dealt with in both 2x07 “Space Mall” and 4x04 “The Voltron Show!” Pidge tries her autograph fraud, but the guy says no. Allura says she could give him a “royal decree of service from the crowned princess of Altea,” but then seems instantly dejected, like she doesn’t see herself as the Princess of Altea anymore. There is something meta interesting about how this show has let Allura’s status of being a princess no longer have any meaning.

The Unilu sees Pidge’s game and offers the outfit for the game. Pidge gives it up for the outfit, and Allura hugs her and thanks her. I love Allura’s reaction. I don’t understand why Pidge did it though. Yeah, yeah, friendship and all that, but the episode doesn’t do anything to show this plot as being Pidge and Allura bonding with each other. Maybe if it had just been the two of them shopping, it might read like that, but with the whole group it doesn’t. It’s clear that Pidge feels she’s giving up something, but the episode fails to explain why she’s willing to do it.

Sam asks Coran if Romelle could help speak to Luca. Coran says, “I’ll see if I can find her.” This is not Coran’s voice actor speaking. I don’t have the best ear to spot moments like this when a character’s voice does not match their normal voice actor, but I know that some within the fandom have suggested there are quite a few moments like this in season eight. This is definitely one such moment. This line is not Rhys Darby’s voice. (Anyone reading this, please feel free to point out other instances this season where the voice of a character doesn’t sound like their voice actor.)

Cut to a sunset scene. The music for this sunset scene is the same as the music from 7x01 “A Little Adventure” during the flashback with Keith and Shiro watching the sunset. This is another part of why it offends me that this show didn’t have Shiro and Keith hanging out together. Shiro had told everyone to spend time with people they cared about. Here Keith is by himself when he could have been hanging out with Shiro. They’re supposed to be super close, after all. And the show has the audacity to use the music of a scene that was part of the exploration of why and how Shiro and Keith were so close, and instead now have Keith alone and joined by Lance. Maybe the reuse of the music is just more evidence of how badly produced this season was that they didn’t bother getting new music, that they didn’t think through reusing old music, ignoring how repeating themes has an explicit effect on the interpretation of a scene? I mean, after watching this show enough, analyzing what I have, reading the analysis others have written, I can’t help but to question the competence of the executive producers and their creative team. Maybe they really were ignorant of the use of music in film and video series. Or maybe in reusing this music, they were making a statement about no longer caring about the relationship between Shiro and Keith. We know that the EPs always had a preference for Keith and only ever saw Shiro as a something to have Keith narratively step on in his ascendance to the position of main character of the show. Maybe to them, this music is only Keith’s music, and they don’t recognize the music as an expression of Shiro and Keith’s relationship. Maybe using the music again here, unassociated with Shiro, was a homophobic action on part of the EPs and their creative team in trying to distance Keith from Shiro now that they had written Shiro as gay. Or maybe they just didn’t put much thought into the implications of using this music in this scene. They haven’t demonstrated themselves to be all that willing (or capable) of thinking through the implications of their creative decisions, after all.

In short, I really, really do not like this scene.

Lance is wearing pots and pans all over his body. He says Coran is making him wear it for his date with Allura. It’s supposed to be funny, but it’s not. Keith reacts, “A date? With Allura? Well done, Lance.” I’m sorry, what? The show seems to consider a guy getting a girl to say yes to him is an achievement on the guy’s part. He’s done something well by finally getting her to say yes. “Well done.” Ugh. Allura is a person, not an achievement.

Keith tries to reassure Lance that if Allura’s dating him that it’s because she likes him. This development between Lance and Allura just does not feel natural to me. It could have, but the show was too lazy to do the work to deal with the baggage that comes with having spent so long writing Lance to be hyper flirtatious and instantaneously jealous.

Keith says, “That’s why we’ve got to end this war. And we’re going to do it with the Lance who’s the Paladin of the Red Lion, the Lance that’s always got my back, and the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.” There really hasn’t been anything to explain a change in Lance no longer having a problem with Keith. It’s like once 7x06 “The Journey Within” was done, the show decided to pretend that that plot solved whatever contention there was between Lance and Keith. Part of the problem is that the show never actually explained where that contention came from. They were supposedly rivals, but why? I think their being rivals was more bullet-point characterization. The creative team never bothered to develop an explanation for themselves, so there was never anything to include in the show to explain it. Their rivalry extended no further than just saying that they were rivals. Keith says that Lance now “knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer,” and this sounds like they intend this to reference Lance’s insecurities, but the show has not actually resolved those insecurities. It’s just more of this show having important character stuff all occur off-screen.

The scene clearly was meant to be interpreted as emotional and demonstrating friendship between Keith and Lance, but there are too many holes in the scene for it to actually feel like that to me.

Allura arrives at Lance’s family’s house. I actually really do like the clothes Lance is wearing for this date. Allura is reduced to her appearance by both Lance’s mother and Lance himself by how energetically they comment on her appearance as she walks through the door. Their reactions to Allura are just too forceful.

Lance has on-screen identified himself as being from Cuba. I found it odd that back in 7x05 “The Ruins,” Lance calls his grandmother “meemaw” instead of abuela or abuelita. Here, he calls his grandfather “Pop Pop,” which does not seem like what a Cuban boy would call his grandfather. Veronica also calls their grandfather “Pop Pop.” I don’t know Cuban culture well at all, but even still it seems off to me. It makes it feel like Lance has only ever been Cuban in name only.

During dinner, Lance’s family spends a lot of time mocking him. This could very much be an origin for most of Lance’s insecurities. He’s clearly upset as they laugh at him. We’re told by one of Lance’s relatives that the only reason Lance is being allowed to sit at “the adult table” during this meal is because Lance invited Allura. It really doesn’t feel like Lance’s family values him. This scene is supposed to be showing to us the big love Lance felt was missing all the times throughout earlier seasons he expressed sadness over being so far apart from his family. But this doesn’t feel like a loving family to me, and Lance is not reacting in any way right now like he’s okay with how they’re behaving. His arms are crossed, and he’s scowling. They’re clearly making him feel bad. And I get the impression that we’re to interpret this as how they normally treat him. So then, if his family picks on him so much, why would he miss them so badly earlier in the show. It does not feel consistently written whatsoever.

Veronica hints to Lance that she’s interested in Keith, and Lance very loudly and animatedly objects to the idea, and it’s really weird. Did the show not just immediately prior to dinner give us a scene in which we’re supposed to interpret the rift between Lance and Keith as resolved? Where is this spastic reversal coming from?

As an aside, Lance’s mother tells Allura, “Lance never brings girls home. You must really mean something to him.” Allura says, “That’s strange. He always gave off the impression of being rather popular with women.” His mother replies, “He gets that from his father. It’s all talk. But if you can get past that, you’ll find a good boy with a big heart.” Wow. So, Lance’s father is hyper flirtatious and aggressively jealous too? That is not a healthy mentality for this show to be normalizing like it is. And to have Lance’s mother excuse that behavior like it’s okay for a man to behave that way is appalling. The line, “if you can get past that, you’ll find a good boy with a big heart,” is the show saying that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make herself not have a problem with a guy who flirts with nearly every woman he sees and gets aggressively jealous over her. This is just so wrong. And that this was written by a female writer makes it even more disturbing.

Veronica leads a toast “to family,” and even Lance, despite having been picked on, is happy about the toast. Allura, however, is saddened by it, and Lance notices.

Meanwhile, Romelle talks to Luca. This is the one scene of Romelle’s in the entire series that I actually really like. This scene hints to me at what Romelle could have been to this show had she been written well. The scene first reestablishes that Romelle knows Luca personally as she starts the conversation. Romelle says, “I’m so glad to see you’re alright Luca. We can help. What happened to you, where’s the Colony?” Luca rejects Romelle, saying, “So you can betray them yet again? You abandoned us, Romelle. And for the Paladins of Voltron! The very ones who killed our savior, Lotor!” Romelle is shocked at Luca’s reaction. Luca continues, “You’ve sided with the Great Destroyers! She told us of their lies! She’s going to fix it all! She’ll reunite us with Lotor! With Altea! You don’t stand a chance against Honerva!”

And then Luca gasps, there’s a flash, an outlined shot of Honerva’s face, and Luca falls over dead. Seems like Honerva killed Luca from a distance with her space magic to keep her from talking anymore. There’s a shot of Honerva, like so much of this show, still weirdly standing in the middle of an empty room. So now, the episode has confirmed where Luca came from, that her attack on Earth at the end of last season had at least something to do with Honerva, thereby setting Honerva up as the final big villain of the show. I have never really found Honerva/Haggar interesting. But, I guess, at least the final main villain being Honerva does sort of stage the conflict as Honerva versus Allura, space witch versus space witch. Honerva as a foil for Allura is a good structure for the show. I don’t think the show does well exploring that foil parallel though because none of what Honerva does is related to any of Allura’s character motivations. The best villains in stories are ones who are directly connected to the protagonist’s goals. This show doesn’t give Allura any goals other than stop the Galra though. The protagonist-antagonist contention for this season, and really most of the show as a whole, is barely existent. The story would have been far stronger if the protagonists had had clear goals.

Lance and Allura go for a walk to a park. They look at leafless trees. Lance says, “This place used to be so beautiful,” and Allura responds, “It’s my fault the Galra did this to your home.” We’re not told where in the world they are nor what time of year it is. Given this bit of dialog, I think we’re supposed to interpret these trees as dead. But my first thought was that it was autumn, and the trees had lost their leaves. Lance tries to reassure Allura that it’s not her fault and that he’s glad to have met her. Allura touches the tree and does a hand-glowing thing. The tree glows, grows, and all the plants around the park gain leaves. So, again, we were supposed to interpret the trees of this park as having somehow died, right? And she just brought them back to life? Or did she just make them gain leaves in the middle or depth of autumn?

Allura says that while Team Voltron was out in the universe fighting the Galra, “I somehow felt like we were a family.” Of course, the show never really depicted them as being a loving family. Most of the characters always were angrily yelling at each other. “Each of us was alone, but we were alone together,” she says. Clearly, the writer thinks this is a poignant line, but, while it does have a certain truth to it, it’s not a flattering one. Being “alone, but […] alone together,” isn’t being a family. It isn’t being friends. It isn’t a close bond. It’s a statement that though they had to work together, they never actually were close to each other.

“But now, here on Earth, I see that everyone already has a family.” Well, Shiro doesn’t. Not that this show cared about addressing that because that would require the EPs and the writers to care about Shiro. It’s also really weird to have Allura talking like she doesn’t have a family, when the show very explicitly visually juxtaposed Allura being visited by Coran and Romelle in the hospital at the end of 7x13 “Lions’ Pride Part 2” with Hunk and his family, Pidge and her family, Lance and his family, and even Keith with Krolia and Kolivan. Why is this show suddenly having Allura discard Coran as part of her sense of family? This very episode had Coran acting as if he were Allura’s father. Having Allura act this way now is so out of place.

She continues that they have “a home to return to once the war is over. Everyone except me.” I can totally understand her being sad over Altea being gone. That is totally reasonable to bring up. It has an unfortunate dimension given what happens at the end of this season though. The season opens with Allura lamenting not having a family and a home to return to after the war is over, and then ends the show by having her give up her life, rebooting all existence, restoring Altea to existence, but she doesn’t get to benefit from her work. She doesn’t get to go home.

Allura’s story this entire season is hugely depressing, and I remember the first time I watched this season feeling that Allura herself was deeply depressed the whole time. That’s not a good message for the show to send either: If you’re depressed, then the only way out is dying.

“It’s silly,” she continues, “but I used to think that the team relied on me.” It once did, back in seasons one and two. But then the EPs wanted Keith as Black Paladin more than anything, and that put Allura in the Blue Lion, and ever since, her position of leadership has been eliminated. She just follows orders from Keith now. It makes me mourn for what Allura could have been if she been written with respect and a desire to show a strong female character in a position of leadership instead of reduced to a magical person of color who has to give up her life to magically fix everyone’s problems. In past commentaries, I have referred to Allura’s previous position of leadership on the Castle of Lions as being like she was an admiral overseeing the fleet. Imagine what it would be like if she was in command of the Atlas, not as Captain, but as an Admiral. Imagine how she could have been written such that Sanda was another foil to Allura, and with Sanda gone, Allura filling that void in fleet leadership.

Allura says that she gains strength from the Paladins. I mean, sure, that should be blatantly true by this point in a story with a found family theme, and it should be true for everyone about everyone in that found family. I don’t think that it is anywhere near fully realized though.

Lance tries to assure her, telling her that she’s not alone. “I don’t care that this is only our first date, Allura, I love you.” Really? This show went there, having Lance say “I love you” on the first date, and the creative team of this show didn’t think there was anything wrong with that? It’s at least notably immature of him to have done so. That the solution to a woman having complex emotions and thoughts about something is to just tell her “I love you” and everything is solved?

In response to Allura’s asking, “You truly feel that way,” Lance takes Allura’s hand and makes her touch his chest and says, “With all my heart.” It’s a little cliché, but it’s still way too soon. Against a glowing background, Lance and Allura, in silhouette, kiss. I wonder if this kiss was added late into the production because the animation is stiff and a little jerky and feels really different to most of the show’s animation.

So yeah, their first date and Lance has said “I love you” and they’ve kissed. On the first date. Now, I know this show doesn’t have the patience to build up a story over time, the show has taken so many narrative short-cuts, but this is just too damn fast. It just feels like there’s something missing to get to this point.

Beezer arrives for some reason. He takes a picture and gives it to them. Why is Beezer in the park? There definitely feels like there’s something missing.

Allura arrives at her room, and Coran and Romelle are waiting for her. Cut to the meeting room, where the three of them are talking to Shiro. Allura says, “If Honerva sent that beast, then our mission must change.” Shiro says, “No, we have a plan and we need to stick to it. If Honerva is behind this, then I’m sure we’ll find her along the way.” Allura follows up, “Or she’ll find us.” It is interesting that Allura’s instincts were very much right here. I wonder how much difficulty they could have spared the universe (and other realities) if they had altered their mission to actively looking for Honerva.

The time has come for the team to leave, Voltron and the Atlas. I like getting another shot of the scale of the Lions next to the Atlas for comparison. I do very much like the design of the Atlas ship. A huge crowd is there to see them off.

I’ve seen people point out this animation error before, and I want to point it out again because it’s odd. In the first shot behind the Paladins and crew on the stage, from center stage outward, the Paladins are standing Keith, Lance, Allura, Pidge, and Hunk. Then in the next shot, a reverse shot, from center stage outward, it’s Keith, Allura, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. It’s odd that Lance and Allura are flipped from one shot to the next.

Sam starts a speech, and then Keith takes over. Allura then takes over from Keith. There’s a montage of Hunk hugging his family and Lance hugging his. One of Lance’s family hugs Allura such that he lifts her off the ground.

Then Shiro takes over from Allura. “Each of you have given something to this fight. Many have been lost, but not in vain because through their sacrifice, many more will live on.” The memorial wall of the dead of the Garrison is shown, and then a close up of Sanda’s placard. Why in the freaking world would they chose to juxtapose Shiro’s statement with Sanda’s picture instead of Adam’s? That’s really offensive and shows how little this creative team actually cared about Shiro and Adam and the inclusion of a queer relationship on the show.

The Atlas launches. I have to agree with others who’ve pointed it out, the way Shiro is standing in the shot of the camera looking over Team Voltron from behind on the bridge of the Atlas does not look like Shiro’s posture, it looks very much like how we’ve seen Allura stand many times before.

The music during the launch is nice.

So, that’s the first episode of the final season. It’s very much a different kind of story than most episodes of the show. There is a lot of focus on relationships of various kinds. The Allura-Lance romance is most prominent, and it’s really uncomfortable. It just amazes me that a story that so strongly reinforces traditional gender norms, patriarchal family structures, and rewards a male character with success through the nice guy trope was written by a female writer.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld #voltron criticism #vld criticism #voltron critical #vld critical #vld season 8 #vld 8x01 #commentary

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themjinterviews-blog · 5 years

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48. Put your hands in the air and say hell yeah. Captain Jack! Johnny Depp!

What motivates you to do what you do? Sheer necessity, usually.

What was the weather like the last time you went out? Hot. It’s Arizona so it’s probably near 100 + sunny.

Do you go for walks often? I’m pretty lazy and try to avoid it. You sorta gotta trick me into walking, like take me to a big shopping mall or something so I inadvertently walk around it whilst shopping.

What color shirt are you wearing? Gray.

What is your favorite type of youtube video to watch? I don’t really watch any. I just use it to occasionally look up songs or to record snippets of stuff to remix songs.

Do you need any new clothes right now? I got plenty.

What’s the next project you are excited to start? I’m working on a nonsensical Adult Coloring Book featuring animals committing crimes.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Used to collect rocks and Pokémon cards. I suppose in a sense I collect all sorts of art/office supplies.

^and if not, what would you like to collect? Nothing really.

What was the last disappointing thing that happened to you? I don’t know. Suppose work being closed for renovation for 2 weeks kinda sucks because I sort of need cash.

What is something God has healed you of? I don’t really do the whole God/Religion rigamarole... Chances are if we are healed of something, there is a psychological, sociological biological or generally rational explanation.

Have you ever experienced a miracle? Like, a phenomenal coincidence? I think as much as I hate to be a downer, there's probably a lot to do with our perceptions of events

What was the last thing you ate? Lucky Charms.

Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? Well, Lucky Charms. I also love pizza rolls and chicken nuggets. But I’m not eating Gerber Peas&Carrot baby foods or anything crazy like that.

What was the last stupid thing you did? Define “stupid”? Most things I do are probably stupid to others but perfectly acceptable to me.

Do you get embarrassed easily? Sometimes.

Are you wearing pants or shorts right now? I never wear shorts.

What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Elliot (this is also my pick for a boy name), Tara, Hazel.

Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Ew. Fuck no. Honestly, adopting/fostering sounds way more my style anyway. To be totally frank, pregnancy sounds gross and being unable to take my adderall sounds awful. I’d gain like, a million pounds.

Do you like getting caught in the rain? It’s usually a refreshing break from the heat out here.

Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Messy, or in a side-pony.

What was the last craft project you completed?: Coloring books for my friends’ kid.

Name 3 youtubers you would like to meet in person: I don’t know any.

Has anyone ever spread an untrue rumor about you? Sociopath ex. Not sure he actually said them aloud to people other than myself, but I was constantly being accused of weird stuff I absolutely did not do.

What’s one rumor you’ve heard about yourself, and is it true? N/A. No idea. Not aware of any relevant or applicable rumors. I literally just keep to myself and do crafts.

What color are your nails painted currently? Not painted.

Do you use a pill box? Jesus, I’m not 80.

List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: it’s kind of generic to assume either of those things as permanent traits. But probably most flings or whatever. It always feels cold when one party loses interest.

Have you filmed a youtube video today? Never filmed one in my life.

Do you leave the house when you’re on your period? Um yes. Life doesn’t stop just because I have cramps.

^If not, why not? -

Have you ever felt threatened for your life? Yeah. Sociopath ex would get overtly paranoid and mistake harmless or unrelated things I did or said to be conspiracies against him. And occasionally my imaginary betrayals would lead to violent words or actions. Like, a bundle of index cards with Carrabba’s menu items and their ingredients, word for word, from the Carrabba’s menu, was somehow coded plots to who the fuck knows to have him killed. Irrational stuff like that.

What are you behind on? Student loans. And when I say behind, I really mean that I actively chose not to pay them.

Do you get enough sleep each night? No because night is my time to be productive, uninterrupted and without bothering anyone. I hate having to stop my thoughts just because other people are making noise or trying to converse with me.

Which did you like better: high school or college? Absolutely college.

Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? Probably last year or two.

…and why? Big personal transitions and revelations in my life philosophy.

What was the last store you shopped at? Walmart, most likely.

Do you have a favorite pharmacist? I used to back in NY. Her name was Evie. She wished a customer Happy Thanksgiving on Valentine’s Day accidentally once and it cracked me up and we had a running joke about it.

Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? I don’t shop frequently enough and I switch up stores when I do.

What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? Probably a toffee nut Frappuccino.

What’s something you discovered recently?

What makes you more creative? Emotional turbulence, certain drugs.

What’s the last magical thing you experienced? Um…Magical? The herd of unicorns crossing the I-10.

What is the theme of your bedroom? None. We are staying in a spare room at a friend’s. But we're actually moving this week because being micromanaged and constantly scrutinized was getting old.

Have you ever lived in a dorm? Yes, for a few years

Who is someone whom you admire, and why? I guess the lady at work, Amanda. She’s like 64 and works open-close every day, and still has a great attitude.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? I don’t know. I test the waters every once in awhile.

Where would you like to travel to next? Nowhere crazy. Just back to New York for the Renaissance Faire.

If you could win three dream vacations to anywhere, where would you go? Portugal—New Zealand—Ireland.

Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? Camel. They’re fuzzy.

Are you a free spirit? I don’t know what that even constitutes. I think outside the box and I question social conformity and other preset patterns of thought. But I don’t know that has much to do with my spirit.

Do you want to lose weight? I think I’m okay for now.

Which insects scare you, if any? They don’t scare me, they just creep me out …spiders, centipedes, millipedes, roaches…ugh.

Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? It’s not like I think they’re going to murk me with a sawed off shot gun. I know they’re harmless and therefor not technically scary…but they’re still creepy and unsettling somehow.

Have you ever experienced paranoia? To some degree.

Have you ever hallucinated? Indeed.

Were you raised religious? We were raised Roman Catholic. Didn’t stick.

Have you ever been abused? Psychologically, emotionally, physically and sexually. #sociopathic ex.

Do you think the cops should do more about bullying? I think cops have enough shit to worry about as is and don’t know how effective extensive police interference would even be. I think the anti-bullying message is stronger when conveyed by people closer to kids like teachers, parents, siblings or a celebrity figure they idolize.

Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? I like them all about the same.

If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Probably dye and highlights. Definite trim of my bangs.

If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? Absolutely not. I have little to no money now and I don’t even use *that* wisely.

Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don’t know many people to begin with.

List five careers that you’d like to have: Lawyer (like A.D.A. Barba!)...Graphic Designer...Psychologist...Self-Help writer...and oddly wouldn't mind being a waitress still.

List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: I genuinely do not have a bucket list. If I stumble upon something that seems cool, I do it. Making unrealistic lists won't help my quality of life very much.

Do you dream big? Quite the opposite. I sort of just fly by the seat of my pants. Weird expression. Can’t recall ever having very fixated dreams or visions for myself.

What was your first imaginary friend’s name? N/A

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Comet. <3

What was the first work uniform that you had to wear? Waitress uniform of sorts. I wanna say it was white button down and black pants.

Do you like to go barefoot? Usually. On some surfaces it’s intolerable and I hate the texture, though.

Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Pretty much.

Do you have a blog? You’re on it, buddy. This is a survey blog.

Do you have a youtube channel? What would I even post videos about?? I assure you, I do nothing that the general public would find entertaining.

#survey

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gosecretscribbles · 6 years

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Diptember 2018 Week 2: Supernatural

“DipperDipperDipper!” Mabel raced up to him, her face shining with excitement, weaving through piles of used clothes and knick knacks. She'd spotted a yard sale on their way to school and insisted they check it out. “Look what I found!”

“Is it something that will make us get to school faster?” Dipper asked.

“It's a music box – look!” She held up her hands. Resting on her palms was a pale green music box shaped like an egg, with a thin gold line running lengthwise along the seam and several highly stylized flowers carved into the top.

He squinted at it. “Those flowers look weirdly familiar...”

“The lady said it never worked, so she gave it to me for free!” She grinned slyly. “I'm thinkin' if I made a certain culinary creation, my nerdy twin bro would be able to fix it right up!”

“If you're talking marshmallow grilled cheese then we so have a deal.”

He started on the music box late that night, after they'd finished homework and their parents had turned in. (They knew Dipper always stayed up late, and they'd long since given up trying to get him to sleep at a timely hour.) Waddles had stayed up with him for a while, probably because he thought it was an Easter Egg like the ones Mabel had given him to snack on. But the pig had long since retired to its bed in the corner, leaving Dipper alone to work at it. And the more he did, the more frustrated he became.

“Dipprrr?” Mabel slurred, waking up after he'd nearly stabbed himself with a screwdriver. “Wut're you doin'?”

“Are you sure this thing is a music box?” Dipper asked, sitting on his bed and glaring at the thing. “It has no hinges, no nails, no clasp – and yet there is a tiny gap all the way around the seam except the long part so there really should be hinges and there aren't!”

“Pretty sure.” Mabel rolled over and rested her chin on the rail of the top bunk. “I mean, I know the lady said it didn't work, but when I shook it it made this really pretty chiming sound.”

Dipper held it up to his ear and shook it. “I don't hear anything.”

“Well not like that,” she said with a snort. She climbed down the ladder and he handed it over. “Here – you gotta shake it like this!”

And she immediately started shaking it like a maraca.

Dipper huffed. “Mabel, what are you even –”

“TADA!”

She shoved the box right next to his ear. He jumped, startled, but then he heard it: a thin, silvery tune, a breeze wafting through slender chimes. But he'd no sooner heard it than it faded completely.

“It stopped – can you do it again?” Dipper asked.

Mabel gasped with delight. “An invitation to dance?! Why Dipper I'd be delighted!” She grabbed Dipper's hand, yanked him out of bed and started pulling him around the room, laughing. Dipper allowed it, half-smiling at his sister's typically crazy antics. The silvery sound grew in volume. Waddles woke up and snorted curiously.

Dipper grinned. “Amazing! It must be motion-activated.”

“More like fun activated!”

Dipper laughed – until he noticed something else about the music box.

“Mabel, keep dancing, but look!”

She looked. It was hard to tell because she had to keep shaking it up and down, but the weird flowers on the lid were changing shape. For a second Dipper thought the flowers might be 'dancing', too, but then the egg started glowing a pale yellow, and the slender lines of the flowers became more and more familiar, until they almost looked like –

“Alien code!” Dipper shouted, just as the egg turned red. The soft silver chimes abruptly changed to a loud claxon blare, so loud Dipper could feel it in his teeth. Waddles squealed and tried to burrow under the bunk beds.

Mabel clapped her hands to her ears, dropping the egg. “OW! WHAT IS THAT?!”

“I DON'T KNOW!” Dipper shouted back. He tried to cover it with a pillow, then two pillows and himself, then just plain smashing it with a hammer. But he couldn't turn it off or even quiet the sound. Their parents slept like the dead, but the sound was so bad it was bound to wake them up eventually!

“TURN IT OFF!” Mabel shouted.

“I'M TRYING!” He looked around quickly and grabbed his journal – he'd started one this summer and included a lot of the codes he'd found in Gravity Falls. He hurried to flip to the page where he'd stuck a photo of himself and the alien text he'd seen at Crash Site Omega. “OKAY!” he shouted. “I THINK I CAN DECODE THE TEXT! IT SAYS – uh...” He double-checked the translation. “IT SAYS 'REMOTE SHIP ALARM'?”

Suddenly the klaxon shifted to a high-pitch screech, then broke off into someone speaking.

“– told you we dropped it around here somewhere!” said a voice, which sounded very oddly like a rubber duck. “If you hadn't forgotten to charge the battery we would've found it ages ago!”

“Oh, don't blame me just because you can't keep track of things,” grumbled a second voice. “We don't even need it, we always find our ship without it.”

“Don't forget that one horror story about the ship that never returned! If we didn't find this one I was going to fly us back to Centaur A for a new remote!”

“I'm not going back there, that wefleki kept looking at me funny –”

“Uh, hello?” Dipper said.

There was a brief moment of silence.

“Oh great, someone found it!” the first voice burst out. “Listen up, whoever you are, drop what you're holding and walk away, or we'll – we'll alien abduct you so hard you'll be seeing lights in the sky for years to come!”

“You mean, like the stars?�� Mabel asked.

“Ye – I mean no!”

“And who made a remote control that's dance-activated, because that is awesome engineering!”

“It's not 'dance activated,' the voice said indignantly. “When else would you flail your arms except in panic because you can't find where you parked in the intergalactic space mall?”

“Wait, are you really aliens?” Dipper said, leaning forward. “Which star do you come from? Are you here on vacation? Do you have a spaceship? Can I see it?”

“He actually really wants to drive it,” Mabel told the egg.

“And can I drive it just for like two seconds!?”

“Wait,” said the second voice. “Are you 'Dipper-bottom-line-Pines-bottom-line-Paranormal-bottom-line-Investigator'?”

“Yes! Yes, that's me!”

“I've seen your petition online!” There was a clear smile in his voice. “I was impressed that you were able to outmaneuver the drone. That kind of flying definitely comes in handy when you're flying through clouds of carnivorous space comets.”

Dipper leaned forward eagerly. “And I can totally do that! I think. D'you want a demonstration? I can show you how!”

“Or you could just buy crunchy peanut butter,” Mabel said.

Dipper elbowed her and made a sh!!! motion.

But the second alien sounded intrigued. “Peanut butter, you say?”

“Sure! Just throw a scoop at any ol' space rock, and they'll eat it because peanut butter, and then their jaws'll get stuck together and presto! No more ship-munching!” She paused. “Unless they're allergic to peanuts, in which case molasses should do the trick.”

“Fascinating.”

“But,” Dipper cut in, “if you still wanted those extremely high quality aerial lessons as, you know, back-up, I could totally help you out with that!”

The alien hesitated.

“Well I'm doing it,” the first voice said finally. “The peanut butter plan is sheer brilliance, but I want a back-up plan in case it doesn't work out.”

“As long as it gets me out of visiting Centauri A,” the second one grumbled.

“Stay where you are,” the first alien told them. “We'll home in on the remotes signal!”

Dipper's face lit up with excitement. He looked up, caught Mabel's eye, and the two of them dashed outside. Waddles was close behind.

The backyard quiet devoid of life, save for the creepy-looking gnome in the rose bushes. The twins looked up. One of the stars in the sky was growing brighter by the second, until a disk-shaped spaceship the size of a city block was descending slowly above their house. Waddles oinked at it.

“Omigosh, look!” Mabel squealed. As the UFO put on its brakes, jets of superheated gas hissed out of the vents on the bottom, searing strange designs into the grass. “It's lawn art, Dipper! Space-shippy lawn art!”

“And it just melted that creepy garden gnome,” Dipper said giddily, still clutching the spaceship's remote. He stood back a little farther to let the bottom dome of the ship touch down. His parents would probably think they pulled some crazy prank on the lawn, but who cared? He was about to drive a spaceship – an actual, real-life, still-functioning space ship, with actual aliens inside of it! He was about to make First Contact, at least in this dimension!

He was so thrilled he was practically dancing on the spot, clutching the space egg with excitement. “Oh man, oh man, this is gonna be so great, I can't wait to tell Great-Uncle Ford, I've gotta take pictures –”

Abruptly the spaceship stopped descending. The remote glowed. “Did you say 'Ford'?” the first alien asked.

Dipper blinked. “Uh – yeah?”

“Ford Pines, the human?”

“Um, yeah!”

“Four limbs, one head, twelve phalanges, also known as Sixer – that Ford?”

Mabel gasped. “OMG you know him!! Are you his interdimensional space buddies?!”

“Oh no we're not!” the alien barked, and the whole spaceship turned red. Metal cylinders jutted from the ship, and before he could blink, a wall of red laser fire light up the grass at his feet. He and Mabel jumped back with a yell, nearly hitting Waddles. The pig squealed and pressed into Mabel's leg.

“HEY! What was that for?!” Dipper demanded.

“We're not letting the family of an interdimensional criminal aboard just so he can steal our ship for spare parts!” the alien shouted.

“Interdi – but – we're not criminals!”

“Tell that to all the people he stole from to build his so-called quantum death thingie!” the second alien spat.

“You're not so much as touching our ship!” the first alien growled. “And forget trying some other alien marks – we'll be making a very strongly worded post on the Space Lizard Forum, warning everyone about exactly what kind of scam you're trying to pull!”

“But – but –”

The spaceship fired, so suddenly that Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles were all thrown tumbling back onto the porch. Heat seared their faces and light flashed through their closed eyelids. Waddles squealed.

When Dipper opened his eyes, the lawn was a charred mess, and it looked like his mom's roses had melted right along with the creepy old gnome.

He stared at the carnage. “Tell me that didn't just happen.”

“Well...” Mabel sat up slowly, one arm around Waddles. “I could, except that I'm trying to wrap my brain around the fact that both of our Grunkles have actual criminal records. D'you think crime runs in the family?”

“I think the aliens thought it did,” he said numbly. “He did say Ford, right? Like actually Ford, not Stan pretending to be Ford? I didn't even know Ford had a criminal record!

“Well if crime is inherited then I wanna be an art thief, or – oh! Maybe a masked vigilante! With rainbow powers!! Rainbow powers of JUSTICE!”

He groaned. “I was this close to being in an alien spaceship...”

“Hey, Dipper, look!” She pointed. The space remote was still sitting on the burnt lawn, untouched and shiny as ever. “They left their thingie behind! We could call them and try to get them to change their minds!”

He reached for it, but before he could touch it the remote made a dull thump noise and black smoke poured out of its seam. It had self-destructed.

“Ah,” Mabel said. “Well...maybe they won't post on all the Space Lizard Forums?”

“Aaaauuuuggghh!!!”

AN: Thus ended Dipper's dream of driving an alien space ship.

#diptember2018 #dipper shall never fly a spaceship #never ever #EVAR #muhahaha #dipper pines #mabel pines #spaceship #Ford's criminal record revealed #death of the creepy garden gnome

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timothy-z3r0 · 6 years

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The comet and the parasite

This world has always been fascinated by Halley's Comet. (All comets mostly, but I am going to focus on Halley's for this blog) Like all the way back to 240 B.C. The comet was seen as a "Harald" of death and destruction and doom. A harbinger of chaos, an Usher of oblivion, a Chauffeur of catastrophe, uh...the bus driver of the holocaust? But I digress.

It always had a knack it seamed for showing up at the wrong time. (Like me.) It Appeared before the defeat of Attila the Hun at the Battle of Chalons. In the year 1066, it was seen in England and thought to be an ill omen, later on, that year Harold II of England died at the Battle of Hastings; it was a bad omen for Harold, but a good omen for the man who killed him, William the Conqueror. In 1910 Halley's comet was set to poison the Earth with it's 15 million mile tail. People went absolutely crazy Evil creatures from the tail of Halley's comet! Matchbox came out with the Parasite toy line in 1985. And yes, Halley's comet showed up on February 9th, 1986. In 1985 I was mad for the coming of Halley's comet! I couldn't wait for it to get here! Something that visited the earth every 76 years sounded amazing. And one cold February night, I got to see the comet with my own eyes. I remember standing in my front yard, just staring up at the night sky, admiring the comet's celestial beauty.

But let's get back to 1985, shall we? In 85 I was gathering intel on the coming comet and ignoring everything else in my life ( I see a pattern here!), my father that ignored me or looked down on me as a failure. My school life where kids my age were pretending to be adults and making fun of me for being a kid. I thought kids still played with toys in 5th grade. Little did I know, that was not the case at all. If you did play with your toys, it was a lot like masturbation, you made sure no one was around when you did it and you had to make certain no one else knew about it!

I purchased my first and sadly the last Parasite then. I got it at K&B Toys at my local mall.

I loved the idea of these evil robotic entities that got came to earth after piggybacking off the tail of Halley's Comet. There was never any information on how they got their "Shells" and it was implied that the beings gutted out our vehicles and hid inside them. Hmm, a lot like a parasite. I imagined that they would eventually have to move on to another "Host body" since that's what parasites do. We just don't get the insertion, gestation, and egress phase of the parasites that we see in nature. (See Hair Worm)

Since I was a giant NERD about Halley's comet, I was forming stories and origin stories for them in my imagination. The length of the nucleus or center of the comet is roughly 9 miles long, and the width, about 5 miles wide. It would take you roughly 2 hours to walk the length of it. A comet the size of St. John island. It could harbor some alien life about the size of a parasite which would probably be about 15 to 20ft tall that originated from the Oort Cloud that resides outside the Heliopause and interstellar space in the furthest reaches of our solar system.

Hey! It could happen!

The parasites are distant relatives to transformers. Stephen Lee was brought on board to design the figures. His previous work was the spinoff Micronauts line Aliens including Repto, Antron, Membros, Kronos, Lobros, and Centaurus. You can see Lee's influence on the weapon/hands that the Parasites have. It's very reminiscent of those old figures.

Repto

I thought I would share what the artwork and the package for Parasites looked like, as well as the profile information on the back.

Specterite: "Leader of the Invasion Force"

Specterite -Leader of the evilest outer-space force ever to reach this planet, Specterite is bent on conquest and destruction. He's a master of the art of mind control. The ultimate menace to humankind. His wrap-around sensors give a computer scan image to detect humans wherever they may be. Specterite wraps, twists and bends his body to fit inside a Ford Pickup. Be on the lookout. Specterite has arrived!

Origin: Halley's Comet

Class: leader

Characteristics: Supreme Commander of Invasion Force, Master of Mind Control, Brilliant, Brutal.

Weapons: Two Batteries of Magnum Blasters; Wrap-Around Sensors

Mission: To conquer and rule the world.

Earth Vehicle: Ford Pickup

Nemisite: "Hunter"

Nemisite delights in attracting attention with is bright orange Corvette.then strikes with the speed of lightning! A flashy dresser with purple armor, Nemisite bends and folds and twists to fit inside his four-wheeled home-away-from-home. His outgoing personality makes him the "Parasite Most Likely to Attack"!

Origin: Halley's Comet

Class: Hunter

Characterics: Flashy, Deceiving, Blinding Speed, Lightning Fast Reflexes

Weapons: Twin Electro-Action Multi-Maser Repeaters.

Mission: To quickly eliminate resistance.

Earth Vehicle: Corvette.

Extermasite:”Hunter”

Extermasite's role is to exterminate. Extermasite uses sophisticated weapons with silencers to complete this task discreetly and efficiently. Uncanny traits allow him to fold, twist and squeeze into a Dodge Caravan. Be on the lookout is somewhere waiting!

Origin: Halley's Comet

Class: Hunter

Characteristics: Accurate, Quiet, Deadly.

Weapons: Long Range Armor-Piercing Sniper Laser; Ultracide Hand Cannon; Weapon Silencers.

Mission: To exterminate

Earth Vehicle: Dodge Caravan

Destructite: "Master of Destruction"

Destructite is the Warlord of the Parasites. Cloaked in black armor, he travels only at night to spread extinction and desolation. Destructite can fold, bend and squeeze his awesome shape into a Ford Blazer. Destructite is here to do incredible damage!

Origin: Halley's Comet

Class: Master of Destruction

Characteristics: Expert in Conquest Tactics and Weaponry, Merciless, lethal

Weapons: Mega-Power Twin-Barreled Rapid Fire Masers.

Mission: The unconditional conquest of humankind

Earth Vehicle: Ford Blazer

Terrorsite: "Advance Spy Scout"

Terrorsite is the ultimate spy. A gigantic foe who can disguise his magnificent weaponry and unearthly shape in a Chevy Van. Caution: When detected Terrorsite unfolds instantly to become the biggest of the Parasites. Terrorsite has no fear! He's programmed to spy and destroy!

Origin: Halley's CometClass: Advance Spy Scout

Characteristics: Master of Concealment, Snake-Like Abilities

Weapons: 2 Twin Barrel Rapid Fire Laser Guns; 2 Multi-Laser Cannons

Mission: To spy on the human race

Earth Vehicle: Chevy Van

Gammasite: "Detection/Destruction"

Gammasite is known as the Master of Detection. His head contains a battery of radar detectors that search and pinpoint targets to destroy them! His radar is also a gun control center for his deadly accurate "Long Boy" Laser Cannons. His Firebird makes him as swift as he is sinister!

Origin: Halley's CometClass: Detection/Destruction

Characteristics: Alert, Calculating, Radar-Like Powers

Weapons: Battery of Microsonic Motion and Radar Detectors; "Long Boy" Laser Cannons.

Mission: Pinpoint targets for destruction.

Earth Vehicle: Firebird

Matchbox had a series two for the Parasites line set to go as well. We were going to see a Semi truck with a trailer, the cab of the semi would house a mini-Parasite and the trailer would have a giant one. For some reason, Matchbox never greenlit it. Probably because no one really remembers Parasites at all. It would have been really cool to see it come out though. Or even just the preliminary sketches and designs would be amazing.

#matchbox #blogger #blogging #parasites #diecast #toys #toycommunity

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duallygirl178 · 3 years

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Dearest O'Malley Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It took me 2 months to pull myself back to health and being sad about losing Joe really got me. I didn't want to start working again as soon as I heard about it. I know that small things such as a relationship has came to an end don't upset me. I wasn't upset when Shay stopped hanging out with Nathan but when things like this happen, it takes me a long time to get over it. I too was really close to Joe since I was almost always up there. I know I would mess around with him when I needed something lined up. It would be a very hard, tough summer for me. Night after night, I'd sit under the carport looking sad. Nathan spent over 36 dollars trying to fix me while Natalie urged him not to give up. She went with him to see me. No matter what the problem was, I still missed Joe. Carol was transported to Good Sams to get better and it would be days before she could come home. The only person that could help now was Shannon; Buck's old landlord from Flora Vista. Nathan needed to go get him.

When Shannon came to the rescue one day, I started to feel a bit better. It had been after 5 years since I've seen him. He helped Nathan correct the problem and realigned my points. Then, when I started for him, it brought Nathan great joy. It was all on a Thursday afternoon in September and it was just in time because tomorrow would be my 51st birthday. Nathan took pictures of me t show Natalie. I quickly noticed I had worn off the affects of the nitrous from the college and let go of the pain of being sad. After all, the sun was shining and it was comfortably warm out. I would miss Joe but I will always remember him. When we went to get Natalie that Friday evening from her babysitting job. Natalie was happy to see me running again. Today, was my 51st birthday and we drove to celebrate it at SONIC as my birthday dinner. We ordered hamburgers and had master blasts while listening to all my favorite songs on Natalie's phone. She recorded song over the week all for me. They all took me back in my day when those hit songs were written and sung on the air. I haven't heard songs like "Rip it up" in over 16 years and it really had been a long time since I've heard them all in a drive-in burger joint on a summer night. I was having a nice birthday and I was enjoying it all except for that two friends of mine that were missing to make it even better.

The moment after we got done eating, I started to make my way down the street headed home that night. I suddenly heard someone sing out to me about 4 feet behind me "Good Golly, Miss Molly!" and I wasn't paying any attention until the last minute on who it was. I heard it again. "Good golly, Miss Molly! Sure like a ball!" I looked behind me and it was Gonzo. I laughed and said "Uh-on. Someone come get Gadget-mobile...'Good morning Riverton'!"

It was a very good to see him here tonight. I haven't seen the ol' Saucer in weeks. When he finished laughing, Gonzo replied "Where've you been at the last few weeks?" I told him; "I got sick after I had surgery on my transmission and didn't run for two months." Gonzo gasped in surprise and said "Oh no. That's not good. Well, I hoped that you were able to get better." I agreed and remembered to tell Gonzo something important. I said "And I was able to get well because it's my 51st birthday. I'm an old man." Gonzo replied back "I remembered. Happy birthday, O'Malley. I had a gift for you, but I forgot it at home. Let me make it up to you. Tomorrow, I'll come by with it and give you a cake that I made to celebrate. You'll really like it. I made you a Recess cup ice cake." I smiled and said "You didn't have to do that. It's not a big deal." Gonzo refused and said "No, no. I insist because that's what friends do." I snickered and said "Alright, if you insist." Then Gonzo talked to me a few hours and then, had to get home after he was going to the dollar store. It was almost time for his TV show that he was hooked on. We headed home also with our bellies full of good old American food. When we got home, I got a nice birthday under-carriage rub from Natalie. It was a great present and whatever that Gonzo was going to get me, it was going to be even better. I've been enjoying a lot of those belly rubs from Natalie lately and they got better every time. Once I got a belly rub, they appear to come out like a lasagna in every place. I would get a massage under my chin, belly, sides and hood. I started feeling younger, healthier, and stronger. When Jan got up to wash dishes, the TV was ours to watch after she was done watching her Lifetime channel. I didn't mind, I was enjoying my massage from Natalie. She gave me a chin rub after she rubbed my belly. I wished Gladys could have given me massages, but she never did. I was guaranteed Natalie did a better job than anyone.

The very next day in the afternoon, Gonzo came over to 1025 which was where I lived at. He brought me cake and a gift over and he told me happy birthday even though my birthday was last night. We still celebrated it and ate cake. It was even better than the Village Inn restaurant because when it came to cake, Gonzo made the best. When I opened my gift, it was a fifty dollar gift card to Starbucks. Gonzo wasn't so great at picking gifts but I have been craving Starbucks for a while and since I haven't been to Starbucks in a long time, I was sure to spend it on a latte and a cheese Danish for sure. I smiled and thanked Gonzo. He chuckled delighted and said "Now you can stop by Starbucks and those cheese Danishes and coffee won't be taunting you anymore." I told him "I had a few dreams about hot and doughy pastries like cinnamon rolls, donuts, scones, and Danishes that I wish I could pull right out of my dreams and bask into their sweet gooey sin of freshness. You did a good job of making this recess pie. I tell you what it makes all the cherry pies look shameful." Gonzo thanked me on the compliment and we updated on what we've been doing on each other. Other than me getting sick for almost 2 months, Gonzo's been doing good aside from him getting allergies from the cottonwood trees and getting stuck out in the sun, only to get worse in his condition. It was a good thing I didn't catch allergies coming to think of it while Gonzo talked on and on. I mean, holy flounder-flop, he talked as long as my cousin did.

After that, Gonzo had to head home because it was already 3PM and getting late. He needed to be home for dinner so, he let me have the rest of the cake. Gonzo departed as soon as he pulled out. The next day, I got to celebrate my 51st birthday again with Robin since he always remembered my birthdays. Robin took me out for lunch at DAD'S Diner by the mall. Robin encountered a jukebox, put a quarter in, and played "See you later alligator" by Bill Haley and His Comets which I hadn't heard that song in forever. It was one of my favorite songs. I instantly perked up and hummed along. Just as Robin was headed back to me, he saw me humming along to "See you later alligator" and said "You know, you're 51 years old. You need to loosen up, be cool and release your energy into some of that jive." I looked embarrassed. I haven't danced in a very long time and wasn't sure if I wanted to stand up and dance. I stuttered and said "Robin...I.…...I-I haven't danced in over 20 years. I don't even know if I want to dance in front of all these people." Robin blew raspberry and said "Oh come on. It's your birthday. You only get to be 51 once in your life. It'll be fun." I snickered and was finally into the groove since I loved that song so much, I could listen to it for days. So I got up and said "Okay, only if you dance with me, man. No matter how many people are staring." and Robin agreed. So we danced to the song and even got a kick out of it when the song ended. I had the most fun. Being 51 was great and it was about to get even better. After Dad’s Diner, we went on a little cruise in town. Robin blared the music to "Good Golly, Miss Molly" and we shouted to every classic car that was also out for a drive, parts of the lyrics to Little Richard's song in their faces. We got looks of "What are you talking about" on their eyes and lots of "Whoo hoo!" comments. I was sure having a great time and a great birthday. When the song ended, I was talking to Robin on how much fun I was having and I added "You know Robin, Folks my age should really goof off on special days or on young moments from being 17 years old. This us just...too much!" Robin bursted out laughing and said "I know. It pays for being 51 years old because old folks just want to have fun." Instantly, I thought of an idea and so I told Robin what it was. He laughed and reduced his speed to 10 miles an hour. He and I picked random cars in traffic and cruised by them for a few minutes. Then we would make them fishtail and stop dead in traffic. I sped up to a person with a Farmington High School bumper sticker on his 2008 Nissan Ultama. I got by the driver's side while driving in traffic and waited 20 minutes for the moment at 20 miles an hour and then, made the dude swerve over to the left side and right on the street until his car drove over on a curb. Robin and I bursted out laughing as we left the sucker in the dust. Robin did the same thing as I did. He drove up to a random car in traffic, pulled up, waited for the moment and swerved a little making the car fishtail. We started doing that until we turned down the street to fill up on motor oil. Robin couldn't wipe that smile off his bumper but it would take weeks to wipe the smile away.

The week before Carol came home, I heard some news that Erik had stolen her computer. I couldn't believe it! Stealing! From his own grandmother! It was treacherous. This happened while I wasn't paying attention and how he broke in, was beyond me. Erik might have crawled through a spare room window and got the key to the computer room when I know it was locked. But I do know that Erik had stolen a lot of items from Joe and Carol before and then some at Wal-Mart. He was quite a bad person for a thief. I had this feeling that no one was going to do a thing about it to get it back. I didn't even hear him come in as I was reading Carol's books and relaxing on Joe's chair. I laid the book page-down to go see what else the little thief took with him. I came to the bookcase in the dining room with the antiques on top of it, and checked in the bowl where the computer key was. The key was still in there and so I grabbed the key to unlock the computer door. I opened the door, and saw the computer was gone. Next, I closed the door, locked it, set the key back into the bowl and thought about Joe's bedroom. I hunted all over the room to find what more Erik stole. I remembered Joe kept a pistol by his bedside for emergencies. It was gone too. I looked for the pistol but couldn't find it. I supposed Erik stole that too but I wasn't sure if it was true. I couldn't prove it because I didn't see it nor video record it. There was nothing I could do, so I went back to the living room and enjoyed the rest of the book. It would be up to Jan now to find out about what happened and believe what she saw. I still couldn’t believe Erik did such a horrible thing from his grandma. It was all because he wanted Nathan to buy him an expensive gaming system after Tiny was sold to a new home when Nathan's mother was a big priority than Erik. He threw a fit for a few days and Nathan still wouldn't buy him anything because Erik was disrespectful. Nathan didn't care and he always took care of things with love. Erik didn't deserve it. When Carol got home from Good Sam's that late September, after my birthday, we started to take care of her to help her live well again. She went downhill after several weeks and it was getting tiresome. We knew it was time to call an assisted living care when Carol got too needy because She wanted Jan to stay up at her home and help her. Jan had work and couldn't give her the care she needed. Jan looked at several assisted living agencies and searched for their reasonable prices that only Carol could afford. None of them seemed to help Carol with the chores that needed done, although the nurses did help her change diapers and bathe her. It was time to make drastic measures. Jan called Good Sams and had her transferred to Aztec. The first week that Carol was there, the nurses didn't attend to her and took over an hour to get to her. Carol was going downhill fast and all we could do now was keep visiting her.

That Autumn season, I was having a conversation with Natalie. She was worried about something that Nathan was saying to her. I told her "Nathan always does this. He tried to scare me because I wouldn't start for him. He threatened to sell me to a home, but I outsmarted him. He doesn't start acting on what he says he was going to do." I added that Nathan needed to act more mature by following through on things he was asked to do. Natalie sighed and said "Why does he act that way?" I looked down almost ashamed of myself for telling her that Nathan was trying to win in an argument. I told her "Because he wants you to think you've done something wrong so he can win in the conversation." At that moment, I asked myself quietly 'Was that the best advice I could give?' Was it enough to make Natalie satisfied on how Nathan worked? I didn't feel that it was, but Natalie was very satisfied with the input I gave her. So, Natalie went back in the house and said nothing more...not even what I told her.

A while back, Nathan got a dog after Natalie had to surrender her new cat; Velvet that she got from the Durango animal shelter. What I didn't expect, was to get a pit-bull mix. She was pretty with the black and white but she talked a lot with moos. I knew Nathan wouldn't take care of her nor pay attention to her after a while of getting her. I liked Shyla because she had a different personality, she was full of energy and was funny. She didn't deserve to be left out on a chain on summer nights. She needed a good home with a family that had space and a yard. She needed someone who could walk her. Shyla had ran away a few weeks later but came back 30 minutes later. I remembered that Candy had done that a few times but I've never seen a dog that was so athletic that she could outrun a cheetah in Africa. When Shyla returned, she needed a large amount of discipline. She started walking all over Natalie with no boundaries and making sure Natalie was out of energy. But she didn't stop for Natalie to rest, she wanted to play another round of tug-of-war. Shyla would bring the toy to Natalie while she sat down. Instantly, Natalie got Shyla trying to reach up and grab the toy out of Natalie's clutch when she would jerk it higher than Shyla's reach. I watched her do that too-slow game to Shyla just for my entertainment. Then, I would take a turn to play with Shyla and give Natalie a break. The poor girl had been to the gym for 45 minutes and worked out hard on the treadmill. As I was playing with Shyla, I noticed Shyla had quite a grip. It was like trying to play tug-of-war with an alligator because that dog had a strong, tough grip. About 30 minutes later, Shyla gave up and laid down on the couch. I had finally exhausted Shyla in a game of tug-of-war. I had imagined I had more energy than Shyla. I put the toy on the table and had a seat next to Natalie and said "And that's how you exhaust a dog with tons of energy. I told you I could tire her out like that. Natalie gave me this tired but I'm-quietly-proud-of-you look on her face. I chuckled quickly. I had out-powered Shyla good enough.

That evening as we went into town, we stopped at the gas station to get me fed with gasoline. Our next stop was going to be Wal-mart because Jan needed to buy BOOST drinks while she's pn the run for the weekdays. Natalie was talking about treating Nathan to some new shirts to wear for the week. After I ate my gasoline meal, we pulled into the busy parking lot to Wal-mart. I prepared to wait 45 minutes for them to go shopping. I found out I had to wait only 30 minutes because I saw them coming out with a cart of groceries. Natalie and Nathan were loading the groceries into the trunk while Jan was let in to sit down. She was tired. It felt heavy from all those groceries weighing my balls to the ground. But it turned out, it didn't weigh me down. I was able to get it home with no problem. When we got home after Wal-mart, Natalie grabbed about 15 bags of groceries out of the trunk. Nathan told her and kept telling her to bring in 5 bags at a time. She didn't listen and kept bringing in all the groceries she could handle. After bringing in the groceries, I got a few side rubs from Natalie while Nathan tried on his new shirt. It was a black DEADPOOL Shirt that said "I have Issues" which matched Nathan so well. Recently, Nathan bought the movie "Deadpool" from Safeway and he just loved it. I've seen it once and thought it was pretty raunchy for me, but good for one time. There was a part in the movie where it reminded me of Impa and what he would say. Impa has had that personality that Deadpool had in his eyes. He said the same crude things Deadpool used once. Gonzo and I were even shocked that Impa would say such things but all that was 40 years ago. I didn't remember why Impa said that or who it was to. But besides my point, Nathan and Natalie would watch that movie over and over on occasional nights.

That very next day, Nathan was wearing his new Deadpool shirt. Natalie bought him another one that was white too but she didn't know why he wasn't wearing it. I wouldn't get to see the white shirt on him to know how Nathan liked it. Natalie had asked him "Why aren't you wearing your Beavis and Butt-head shirt?" Frankly, Nathan responded to her "It's hard for me to keep whites clean. Every time I wear them, they get stained." I looked at Natalie and remembered the last few white shirts that Nathan had were stained with something impossible to get out. Natalie told him "Well, if you aren't going to wear it, then I might as well wear it myself." Nathan chuckled as if he didn't mind. Natalie enjoyed wearing T-shirts better than those mule-twisted tees that were for sixth graders...not that I've ever seen or had a problem with her wearing them. I liked her in whatever she had in her closet; pants with a large tee, shorts with a t-shirt...whatever she owned.

A few weeks later, I noticed it was almost time for the Brookside park to have its annual car show. I had to look spiffy and clean for the judges to see. Natalie was already getting a hop on it. She vacuumed my interior out and did everything to get me ready. She worked hard to get the dirt out and the ashes that were in my ash tray from when Jan emptied her ciggs. After a few "Ows" and a lot of "Take it easy. you're hurting me" cries, Natalie was done vacuuming the interior.

A day before the car show, Natalie gave me a bath and scrubbed me down with soap herself. I had to say, it was the best bath I ever gotten. She wore shorts that she sewed together out of her old pants and wore a long t-shirt. I got a little excited and said "Now all you need to be wearing is a shorty-short shirt with a bikini bottom and you'll be all set." I chuckled after I just imagined Catherine Bach's body with Natalie's face on it. Natalie gave me a strange but silly eyes and said "Oh sure, yeah right." She was more confidently happy about her figure than most husky girls. Natalie was my kind of girl with that-girl-as-good-as-she-looks personality. It was like a whole new spunk for me.

Natalie was very thorough when she scrubbed. It felt good as she scrubbed my hubcaps and tires hard. It was like getting a finger massage in hot coconut oil. She gave me a better bath than Nathan and it wasn't normal for Nathan to allow other people to wash any of us three cars. I hated the part where I was sprayed down with a high pressure of water. Now as for the washing part, Natalie loved to use a sponge with soap on it. Next time, if I wanted a bath, I wanted Natalie to do it from now on. That night, Sonic was having a classic car party because it was registration night. I got nervous I wasn't going to be able to park next to Robin this year. I remembered there was a time when I didn't get to do that. I've been parked and seated next to strangers that were terrible. I was used to being close to Robin and I didn't do so hot with strangers. In 2015 of summer, I almost had a fight with an Oldsmobile and I didn't want to go through that again.

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cecilspeaks · 7 years

Text

110 - Matryoshka

I once was lost. But now I’m fine with that.

Welcome to Night Vale.

Steve Carlsberg: Ahem. First I wanted to say that there are glowing arrows in the sky. You can’t see them even though you should. I can see them.

There are dotted lines and arrows and circles. The sky is a chart that explains the entire world. For reference, I printed up this diagram on poster board. Notice the arrows here, which curve around the circles. And the dotted lines. It’s pretty clear if you just look at it.

Please look at it. You’re not looking at it!

Well, I’ll just leave it here on this easel and you can look at it later. Or while I’m talking. Lots of people like to look at other things while I’m talking. It puts them at ease.

I say things people don’t like to hear. I show people things they don’t like to see. My brother-in-law sometimes says I give off a smell that people don’t like to smell. Well, I thought it was funny. [chuckles] It hurt my feelings a bit, but he kept doing it. I mean it was kinda funny, I guess?

Cecil Palmer: Fun fact. Did you know that a group of dragons is called a “weyr”? A pride of lions, a murmuring of starlings, an ennui of buffalo, and a weyr of dragons. Interesting, right?

And now the news. There’s a weir of five-headed dragons burning down City Hall right now. There is another weir of dragons stomping great holes in Route 800, the only highway leading out of Night Vale. And yet one more weir – did you know that it’s also correct to refer to this as a “flight” of dragons or even a “thunder” of dragons? – tearing open the aqueducts along the town reservoir. More on the complete annihilation of our city, as this story develops.

Mm. I’ve gotten several frustrated calls and letters about our program a couple of weeks ago. Because the program was called “A Story about Huntokar”, many listeners rightly anticipated a story about Huntokar. But all they heard was radio static over faint sounds of inhuman screaming. We apologize for the disappointment, and we will more closely review any programs before putting them on the air. I’m sure it was a tough time for you to voluntarily listen to a sub-par radio program.

[sighs] The town is.. nearly empty, save for flaming buildings, irate dragons, and a sky that has all but been replaced by an enormous hole, out of which pours continuous darkness, confounding visions and a deafening ripping noise, but again, sorry you didn’t like that one… radio show.

In related news, the city is in fire, and completely in control of Hadassah McDaniels and the five-headed dragons. The holes that have torn across our sky have merged into one giant hole, and false realities are converging into our town. Many citizens, including our Mayor, have chosen to run from their own unpleasant reality towards some more pleasant options offered up by the collapsing of all space and time into one. Frances Donaldson, owner of the Antiques Mall, said she discovered a reality where antiques were not sentient, venomous creatures but in fact, just old items one could resell. Frances left this Night Vale last week to go live in another Night Vale, which occupies the exact same space.

Bob Sturm, vice president of finance for the Night Vale Auto Insurance company, found a reality where cars were made of Stilton cheese, and another where insurance executives made almost 2000 dollars more year on average. He’s still weighing which reality better suits his lifestyle.

Steve Carlsberg: I see you’re looking at my chart now! I think I should have gone with a classier font like Helvetica, but this one looks just like the writing in comic strips! I couldn’t resist, it’s just so funny! [laughs] Makes all of these terrible messages so much easier to bare!

These arrows and lines in the sky are a message from someone named Huntokar. I learned this on the radio last week. Is she a god as she claims? Maybe, although I’m not religious. The folks over at the Joyous Congregation said there is no god but the Smiling God. I asked if she could be the smiling god, and they asked if she was smiling. I said I didn’t know, it was on the radio. They made weird gestures with their fists and told me I would know once we were all devoured.

I asked my other brother-in-law who’s a scientist, and he said the arrows and lines were probably a bunch of comets or solar flares or possibly an aurora. Then he got really excited about talking about space, and skipped away while laughing and clutching his hands to his chest, so I’m not sure if there’s a natural explanation.

What I do know is I’m not the only one who can see them. For a long time, I thought that I was. I told Cecil and he scoffed. I told Leann Hart at the Daily Journal, and she threw a hatchet at me. I showed them to my daughter Janice, but she’s a teenager and isn’t really interested in what her parents are interested in. My wife said she believed me, but showed little interest so – I think she was just saying that to be nice.

I told Mayor Cardinal and Mayor Winchell before her. Mayor Cardinal said she would look into it, but I’m positive she never did. Mayor Winchell totally agreed and got really excited about it, but she started telling me about how there’s a man that lives in the Sun, and all he does all day is sit at a little table with a phone on it. The phone isn’t plugged in, but he waits and waits for it to ring. The man often says to no one, because the Sun is so loud and hot an large no one can hear him: [old man voice] “I will receive the call. I cannot leave for I do not have an anshwering machine. But when that phone rings, boy howdy will that be shplendid!” Based on this story, I’m positive Mayor Winchell and I were talking about different things.

For a long time, I thought all of these people didn’t believe me. They politely or impolitely urged me away from that line of conversation. They said “sure sure” and “no way” and “you’ve got something on your shirt”, and then they poked my nose when I looked down.

I’ll get to the angels in a second. I promise this relates.

Cecil Palmer: An update on the estate of Old Woman Josie. The hearing to decide the legal ownership of Josie’s estate has been postponed indefinitely, as City Hall is completely overrun with dragons, and they’re not letting anyone schedule the hearing room. Not even for, like, 30 minutes. Josie’s daughter Allondra Ortiz and her lawyer, Emilio Tavarez, have claimed that in the absence of a will, the estate should go to the next of kin, in this case Allondra. However, the angels who cared for Josie in her final years have claimed that they have joined ownership and stake in Josie’s assets, as they built and maintained her home and helped develop Josie’s cultural foundation. The angels’ biggest hurdle so far in this ugly battle is that they legally – don’t exist. As they are angels. The Hall of Public Records is holding a hearing today to determine the validity of the angels’ existence and whether to officially recognize their being. We’ll report back when a decision has been reached.

Steve Carlsberg: But it’s not that people don’t believe me. They do believe me. You believe me. You just can’t accept it, acknowledge it and understand it. We have customers in our bank all the time who don’t want to know their account balance. We can just print it on their receipt, but they always decline because they don’t want to know there’s only 168 dollars and rent is due in a week. They know, but they don’t want to have to acknowledge it.

Which brings me to the angels. They’re real. You can see them. They’re standing at the back of the room right now! And yes, I hear the city’s “angels acknowledged” sirens, and I see you Sheriff Sam, sitting right there in the front row, taking out your handcuffs. But there they are in the back of the room. Just turn around! Look! They’re super tall, and have several arms and long faces and wings. You see them? They’re the ones that glow bright black and sound like French horns. Yeah, them. Wave at them. They’re waving back!

There are a great many crises facing our town. The holes in the sky, the dragons chasing us into hiding, The Woman of Italy threatening to flay us alive. The Distant Prince slowly creeping less distant. All of the unrepaired pot holes, all kinds of stuff that may seem more important than a simple clerical matter of existence. But I ask the city officials present, the administrators of the Hall of Public Records, the people of Night Vale, please legalize the acknowledgement of these angels! They are protectors. They have saved our city from evil corporate encampments, from that beagle. They built us an Opera House. They cared for Old Woman Josie through hospice. They are recorders. They memorize our history without judgment. They are beggars. They have like a billion dollars in our bank, but they constantly roam the streets asking people for ten bucks. It’s not because they need money, it’s because they need connection. They just want to know you heard them ask.

[thunder and banging noises]

Cecil Palmer:: Listeners, I’m getting word that the dragons have stopped their rampage across town. No more burning buildings or crushed cars of devouring of pets. Every single dragon in town has gathered out in the Scrub Lands near the Sand Wastes. They are facing outward toward the mountains, silently watching – for something.

The city is quiet again. I do take some comfort in not hearing shouts for help or glass shattering. It is a relief to not hear reptilian roars or car alarms, to not see plumes of smoke. There’s so little solace, an inexplicable peace. The chaos in our streets was – normal, predictable. I mean it was upsetting, but we knew why it was happening. But for no clear reason, the dragons have stopped. Something they have not done since they began months ago.

The last remnants of the sky… have gone. There are hundreds of people out wandering the streets, but they aren’t actually here. They’ve living in some other Night Vale that is not attacked by dragons, some other reality that is not in flames, I-I-I-I can see them. Solid figures moving through – each other. Unaware of the layers, upon layers, of reality.

My brother returned to see me last night. But I do not have a brother. Nearly all of his hair and teeth were gone and he could barely walk. Every few steps he would fall only to get back up and walk slowly again toward me. Line of dried blood down the front of his polo shirt. He couldn’t speak, only groaned. “The bomb”, over and over. “The bomb!” He grabbed my arm. And I couldn’t pull away, I only said, “You’re not real.” But he just stared distantly, as only a person who has seen death can stare.

People ask me all the time, “are we at the end? Is this it?” And I tell them no. We must keep moving forward, that’s all we can do. But… I’m lying. I can hold tight to what I think is real here, but it’s done no good, I’m just one person. I’m afraid.. we’ve broken it. We’ve. Broken. Night Vale. I am so sorry.

Stay tuned next for… everything. Nothing. And for one, last time, from the voice of your town to all listeners out there: Goodbye, Night Vale. Goodbye.

[end music, silence]

Hang on. I just thought of something. While I figure this out, have a listen to today’s weather.

[“Everyone I Know Will Die” by Erin Lovett. soundcloud.com/erinlovett]

Steve Carlsberg: Unless we pay attention to our true reality, all will be lost. I believe recognizing angels is a vital first step. It’s like my brother-in-law saying mean things all the time. I tried to ignore the mean bits, I just put my head down and kept moving. The main thing was to keep moving, not to bog down in tears and fights and emotions. Just move forward, because facing it would mean pain.

But then a few weeks ago, I looked him in the eye and said, “Stop.” He looked shocked. I inhaled and just as I did, he did too. And in a synchronous moment of breath, I started crying. I wasn’t weeping in sadness, I was just crying from the intimacy of truly seeing someone and having them see me. We were vulnerable and raw and I said, “It hurts me when you joke. If you don’t like me, just tell me why and we can work through it.

And he told me about his childhood and his mother, and his tumultuous relationship with his sister, and how difficult it is to let strangers into his world. And it was just easier for him to keep me as an interloper in his life. I could never understand his difficult childhood. And I said he was right, but that I could try.

He let me hug him. He even hugged back, which is rare for Cecil. He stopped saying rude jokes about me. In fact, even saying nice things about me. We acknowledged our issues. Nothing is perfect, and I don’t think it will be, but it is better. Perfection doesn’t exist! All we can hope for is better. Thank you, officers of the Hall of Public Records, for letting me speak at the hearing here today.

Cecil Palmer: My brother-in-law Steve Carlsberg didn’t know Old Woman Josie, not like I did. I loved her like a mother. Steve did not know the angels, either. I’m sure he had heard me talk about them, I’m sure like all of us he had seen them, and known them to be real, but averted his eyes for fear of violating the arcane law against acknowledging angels. Yet, he went to the hearing to support them. Because I am doing the show today, I could not attend the hearing. A hearing I desperately wanted to be at, to proclaim my passion, to change our out of date laws. I am sad I could not.

But Steve told me he would speak for me at the hearing. He listened attentively as I told him everything I felt about the issue, and then he said, “It’s like the arrows in the sky, the-the dotted lines”, and I rolled my eyes, because Steve has always been a conspiracy theorist, seeing patterns where there are none. He got upset at my dismissiveness.

Um, [sighs] my sister Abby and I rarely got along, but after our mother died, that began to change. I spent so much time with her, and with her infant daughter Janice, whose spina bifida was costly and and and terrifying and exhausting. And then Abby met Steve, and Steve took care of Janice financially, and of Abby spiritually, and I was just an uncle again. I was no longer wringing my hands every day over the health of this struggling girl anymore, I wasn’t spending away my savings on medical care, I wasn’t having to comfort a sobbing mother. And Steve took all that away from me. You can read that two ways. Steve relieved me from stress or, Steve relieved me from duty. I interpreted it as the latter. It’s hard to forgive him for simply being a responsible father and stepfather but… I’m learning to let my anger go.

I’ve said terrible things about Steve. And he’s been nothing but supportive of me, of my sister, of my niece. He is a good father, and brother-in-law, and a good citizen of Night Vale. He is a patient friend, and I love him for that. I think, I even think his arrows in the sky theory might be right.

Did you- did you ever have one of those dolls that opens up, and inside is another doll, and inside that another? I, uh… I sometimes think we are one of those dolls, inside a similar doll and outside a similar doll. Each one nestled in another, infinite possible dolls all in one visible doll. But all of the dolls have been opened and removed from one another. They’re split halves strewn across the floor. Which parts go together? And which doll are we? Did our doll have the blond hair or the brown hair? The red bow or the one with the green-laced trim, the headscarf with the floral print? Or the dotted print?

The angels hearing is completed, and the Hall of Public Records has officially recognized the existence of angels as Night Vale citizens. The angels celebrated with poorly aimed high-fives, which were warmly reciprocated by fellow non-angel citizens, now legally allowed to see the angels as real.

The recognition and acknowledgement of angels seems a small victory, in light of our ending world, but as I speak to you now… [softly] part of the sky has returned.

Ah, as has Hiram McDaniels. Out in the Scrublands, the gathered dragons welcomed back one of their own. Hiram had left town to be alone, to gather himself. His Violet head was executed by Night Vale officials last year – the incident that sparked this entire conflict. Hiram spoke to the other dragons. “A great injustice has been perpetrated upon me,” his Gold head announced in a quiet, tired voice. “We’ve been trying to make sense of why it happened,” his Blue head said. “We’ve been very emotional,” his Grey head said, “but we are learning to let go of our anger,” his Green had shouted hoarsely. Hiram asked that the dragons leave Night Vale and all return back to their world. “We have truces to uphold. They attacked me only because they are scared of me,” his Gold head said. “We cannot find forgiveness in relentlessness.” There was a grumbling in dissent. But the dragons have called off their attack for now.

But it was not the dragons who tore open our sky and split our relaities. We are not safe merely because there is peace. We are the ones who tore apart our realities by refusing to see them for what they were. Our years of denial, carefully cultivated, has made our reality fragile. Look at the angels, Night Vale, they are real. They always have been, right there in front of us they are – our protectors and we denied them. We loved Old Woman Josie so much and yet, we couldn’t accept those whom she loved as her own family. Look what we did to Hiram! He conspired to kill our Mayor, but the one head that tried to stop the others? Was the one we executed. And in the throes of our town’s iron-clad denial, we could not own up to our mistake.

It’s one wooden doll inside many similar wooden dolls, and if we don’t notice the little details… we won’t know which one we are when they are all dismantled. As the dragons began to leave our town, Mayor Dana Cardinal approached them and asked for forgiveness for the death of Violet. “The destruction of our town did not bring Violet back, it did not fix anything. I remain fearful and angry at you for this,” she said. “But that does not change the fact that I made a grave error. Hiram. I am sorry.” The dragons paused to hear her words, and when she finished, they left Night Vale without reply. And a bit of the sky returned.

Following the hearing, Allondra Ortiz said she was incredibly moved by the angels’ case, that she had never really thought of them as anything but imaginary freeloaders. But now that she had taken time to see how much love and effort they put into Josie’s health, life, and artistic endeavours, she plans to rework her claim on her mother’s estate to include only personal items and heirlooms. She also said she would like to stay in Night Vale a little while longer, spend time with her mother’s friends. And a bit of the sky returned.

Members of the Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency resumed their routine of following people and recording private conversations, and those under surveillance waved hello at the agents. “Have you ever noticed,” we all asked each other, “that we are being watched by secret agents? That’s not normal, that doesn’t happen in normal places.” And a bit of the sky returned.

The librarians slithered - or possibly skittered? – back into the library, ready to devour book lovers. The City Council returned to their chambers after a much needed vacation in the Catskills, except for their newest member, 16-year-old Tamika Flynn who, instead of vacationing amassed a disturbing amount of weaponry. “Most towns, I think, aren’t run by literal monsters and heavily armed teenagers,” we said to each other. And a bit of the sky returned.

The radiation-sick man in my home named Cal is gone, once again. As are the countless layers of people walking our streets, but existing in some other streets.

As the angels were acknowledged as truly existing, the other realities began to fade, as we began to accept the full reality of our world. As Mayor Cardinal remembered that her father had died years ago, and the father she was with was not her reality. As we looked each doll over carefully, we began to truly notice the fine details of what made ours particular and special. We could nestle them all back together into a single doll, each multitude safely contained. And the last bit of the sky - returned.

Now our reality is badly damaged, and the only thing keeping it together is our acknowledgement. Finally, this –strange- town that we live in, no more denial. We must see ourselves clearly, or risk losing ourselves forever.

[gleefully] Angels are real. Our town is a deeply weird place. We know and acknowledge that it is a deeply weird place. There are dotted lines and arrows in the sky, and I love my family. And I love my brother Steve, he was right about everything, he always has been.

So stay tuned next for eye contact and breathing, in unison. And as always, and for as long as I can keep saying it: Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: If you only read one book this year, then you have reached your approved book quota.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #episode 110 #matryoshka

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