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thebibliomancer · 4 years

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Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 7 liveblog

“Time to Make… My Move”

Life got busy for a while and then I forgot to watch and then I remembered the game existed and I bought it and I played it and got to the point in the plot where I left off and realized crap I’d better get the plot from the show not the game, the game hasn’t been stellar with story.

So here we are!

Just a stream of thoughts.

And we start with vomiting Hup. Okay then. Good place to pick up.

Rian: “How could so much come out of one little podling?”

“The most beautiful desert flowers are always the most dangerous” This Dousan guy is a flirt!

Hup: -vomits-

Hah.

I like this desert with its random crystal spikes. Its very cool. Its got a lot of lightning which hits the sand and turns it into glass I guess.

The Circle of the Suns.

Uh oh lightning sandstorm

Lore: ‘i’m getting outta here!’ grabs brea and tries to climb up the mountain.

Brea: ‘don’t split the party my dude’

The CGI of Lore climbing the mountain looks a little stop motiony which makes me feel better about it being CGI.

Rian: “Well that was exciting” the anti-Jen.

I think Jen would have curled into an overstimulation ball by this point.

Heretic: “GELFLING”

Me: “SKEKSIS!”

Heretic: “WELCOME”

Heretic: “ITS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU! LOOK UPON MY WONDER”

I like him

Hey, Heretic is Lore’s dad. Nice.

RIan: “You’re a Skeksis”

HERETIC: “I’M A WHAT??!?? THAT WAS A JEST! I’M A FUN SKEKSIS!”

I like him!

Heretic: “COME INSIDE AND BRING YOUR PODLING SLAVE”

Deet: “He’s not our slave, he’s our friend!”

Heretic: “????? EVEN BETTER”

He used to be the Conqueror and I could see it.

Heretic: “WELCOME TO THE CIRCLE OF THE SUUUN” -maniacally laughs for like a minute-

Rian: “Are you alone here?”

Heretic: “YES I AM ALONE so very alone BUT I’M ALSO WITH MYSELF”

Oh hey an UrRu

I think this is the first time any Gelfling has met an UrRu and they apparently they thought they were just legend.

Heretic losing his shit as UrGoh slowly walks over and slowly introduces himself.

UrGoh is apparently the Yakov Smirnov of Mystics.

Aw he’s shutting down Lore

Lore hugs Brea goodbye

Heretic: “HMMPH HE NEVER HUGGED ME LIKE THAT BUT WHY SHOULD HE WE ONLY GAVE HIM LIFE”

And pulls out his shiny life ball.

Hup is not having a good time here.

Heretic: “WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU”

Brea: “We don’t really have time for a surprise”

Heretic: “WE HAVE WAITED OVER THREE HUNDRED TRINE FOR YOU TO SHOW UP! YOU WILL BE SURPRISED!!”

So over at the castle of the crystal, apparently the Skeksis have a hotline telephone webline right to the arathim. Not sure why since they’re apparently the sworn enemy of the Skeksis

OH SWEET the arathim are like a hive mind and form a big talking face to talk to the Emperor.

THis is really cool and creepy puppetry.

Oh so the Arathim Ascendency were banished into the wild and been labelled public enemy one because they rose up against the Skeksis. So they were really just ahead of the curve.

The Emperor promises to return the arathim home cave to them if the arathim help quell the gelfling rebellion.

Deet: -almost eats some drug berries-

Rian: “Maybe don’t”

Poor Deet. I don’t think she’s had time to really adjust to the surface world before getting thrown into all kinds of misfortunes and mishaps.

Rian: “I think your nurloc rump dress is quite lovely” Aw, what a flirt!

I can see why the internet lost its shit over the Heretic and the Wanderer. They’re a delight.

Heretic is going to present THE TRUE HISTORY OF THRA

Aw poor Hup, he’s been press ganged into being an actor and Heretic has endless notes on his performance. Poor guy.

Hmm… what conquest could the Conqueror conquer if the Skeksis were seen as the rightful caretakers of Thra? What did the world look like in his prime?

Maybe the arathim maybe.

Then Thra gave urGoh and the Heretic a vision that Skeksis and UrRu should unite not divide. And the other Skeksis were like ‘gross’ and kicked him out.

They don’t mention what the Mystics said. Probably ‘lets not get ahead of ourselves.’

Heretic and Wanderer do an opera. Which is RANDOM VOCALIZING.

Emperor: “The Darkening!”

General: “Its purple”

Oh the arathim cave is infected with the Darkening so the Emperor is screwing them over. How expected.

Oh nerts the emperor thinks he can control the darkening eventually-

PUT YOUR NOSE BAACK ON SIR I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS

Emperor: “Never forget, there is absolutely nothing in this world which does not bend to my will”

If he’s messing with dark corruptive power no wonder he aged like crap and died before the other core group of Skeksis.

Oh double nerts, the Hunter is in the desert chasing down Rian.

Dousan flirt: “I’m not afraid of getting hacked to pieces by you”

His sidekick: “I AM, THEY’RE AT THE CIRCLE OF THE SUNS”

Deet is the only one who stayed awake through the whole opera. Aka the only one with TASTE

THEY’RE GOING TO DO PUPPETS

Puppets doing puppets how meta.

So they’re going over the plot reveal from the movie that the Skeksis and the UrRu used to be one. Hey they even have an UrSkek puppet.

Also that the UrSkeks are aliens.

They wooed Aughra with an orrery and then started doing experiments on the crystal. AND BROKE IT.

The worst house guests.

And then when the Skeksis started bullying the Mystics, they accidentally broke a shard off the crystal.

These are really good puppets that these puppets are puppeting.

UrGoh: “Every moment one is two is too terrible for one to bear”

Huh. Super special sword. The Dual Glaive. I guess since they can’t use the shard macguffin they need a different plot device.

Heretic: “Cast in the deepest fires of the inner sun, it carries the spirit of Thra. And when held by Gelfling holds the power to unite the seven clans and defeat the Skeksis!”

INNER SUN IS CANON

GIMME THURMA PLS

Pffft UrGoh accidentally set himself on fire the poor dear.

Rian just assumes that he’s the one who gets the plot sword. Pretty presumptive of him.

Heretic: “WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE THE DUAL GLAIVE”

They gave it to “the most reclusive of gelflings” where the three brothers dare not shine.

Deet: “oh hey its in my home”

Maudra Fara is planning to storm the castle. But a castle guard shows up and tells her that the castle guard were all killed by the skeksis

Fara promises to make the Skeksis pay.

Aughra: “Promises you cannot keep are no better than lies!”

Hello the all-wise buzzkill.

Fara: “No its cool after we overthrow the skeksis we’ll melt our weapons and have peace and stuff”

Aughra: “my point is that you should plot to survive you damn lemmings”

She’s not doing a good job convincing them to not try to fight because her suggestion is ‘go away and hide and a gelfling will eventually take care of things’

Also doesn’t help that she foretells that Stone-in-the-wood might fall and that just makes Fara indignant.

Oh no Tavra is getting chosen to be the ‘strong gelfling’ to be sacrificed to the arathim

She was too cool to live =(

UrGoh: “As they say……. Whats good in the gourd…… is good in the gelfling”

Heretic: “WHO SAYS THAT??”

UrGoh: “Every one”

DAMMIT HUNTER WHY YOU BREAKING UP THIS COMEDY ACT much rude.

Hup stood up to the Hunter to protect Deet and whoops he’s light mass and got tossed

Hunter: “WHERES YOU FATHER NOW?”

Thats just a low blow.

Hey its the Archer! He’s come to shoot himself to save the others. That takes determination.

And Hunter runs off with Brea out of spite. What a dick.

Ooo near night sky in the desert of Thra is beautiful. Love the scenery.

And back at Stone-in-the-wood right when Maudra Fara is planning the castle attack on the war planning board the Skeksis General show up. WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF SPIDERS

The General is kinda more extra than you’d think of him. I mean, all Skeksis are extra but I saw him as one of the more lowkey ones. Like a watered down Garthim-Master.

Huh. Princess Tavra is here. Looking… Oh no she’s speaking with the voice of the legion.

OH NO SHE’S MADE OF SPIDERS

UNPLEASANT

I know these are dangerous spider monsters but they’re tiny and the Gelfling trying to stomp on them is kinda silly.

Then again I have minor arachnophobia so this is still working on me.

Oh gross the threader arathim borged the whole stone-in-the-wood village.

Wait, if they’re this dangerous how come they were a backwater problem this whole time?

One tries to get Aughra

Aughra: “What? You try to control Aughra? AUGHRA CAN BARELY CONTROL AUGHRA!” -yeets the spider-

That’s a mood.

Emperor: -watching the plot through a telescope- “lol”

#dark crystal #dark crystal age of resistance #episode 7 #liveblog

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Ranking Every Krampus Movie by Krampus Lore Accuracy

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Christmas horror movies have long been one of the best parts of the festive season, and over the past decade interest in the festive beastie known as the Krampus has been on the rise.

But who is the devilish creature? And which of the eleven feature films (of vastly varying quality) that have taken their name from the Krampus mythology are most similar to the actual ancient folklore that inspired them?

2020 has been a year of horrors so it seems only fitting to do a deep dive investigation into this most important of Christmas horror queries so you can celebrate this year’s Krampusnacht in style and accuracy!

The Origins of the Krampus

So the creepy European tale of the Krampus goes a little something like this: Krampus accompanies St. Nick (that’s right, Santa Claus) on his gift giving rounds, but instead of offering rewards for good kids he punishes bad ones. It adds an enticing little bit of nastiness to the classic Christmas traditions which makes it all the more understandable that it’s become such a large part of the cultural consciousness over the years.

So what is the actual history of the Krampus and where did it first spring from? Encyclopedia Britannica gets into deeper detail, explaining that Krampus “was thought to have been part of pagan rituals for the winter solstice. According to legend, he is the son of Hel, the Norse god of the underworld. With the spread of Christianity, Krampus became associated with Christmas–despite efforts by the Catholic church to ban him. The creature and St. Nicholas are said to arrive on the evening of December 5 (Krampusnacht; “Krampus Night”). While St. Nicholas rewards nice children by leaving presents, Krampus beats those who are naughty with branches and sticks. In some cases, he is said to eat them or take them to hell.”

Lovely.

We wrote more about Krampus traditions here.

Mother Krampus 2: Slay Ride A.K.A. Lady Krampus (2018)

Though it’s titled as if it’s a sequel to our next entry–which is also not about Krampus–there is little to no connection between these movies. This film has no Krampus accuracy as it is not in any way, shape, or form about Krampus.

What it is about is a group of women who are about to finish their community service but have one last task: to visit an elderly woman and check in on her before Christmas. Turns out that she’s not the weak old lady they were expecting and instead is a slasher who loves terrorizing families and young women. Like I said, there’s no Krampus here and it’s also not a supernatural film. It is exceedingly strange, though, and features an OAP slasher suspect, which is rare. So even without the mythical creature this micro-budget murder movie might bring you some enjoyable Christmas horror chuckles during the festive season.

Mother Krampus (2017)

The reason that this movie is close to the very bottom of our rankings is simple. Mother Krampus isn’t actually based on the lore of Krampus at all and is instead inspired by another creepy Germainic folkloric figure known as Frau Perchta. Seeing as the Krampus is more well known, the filmmakers decided to misleadingly name this movie Mother Krampus.

But the two creatures do share some similarities, hence why the simple but comedic OAP slasher Mother Krampus 2 takes the “prize” as our least accurate title. Frau Perchta is also not too fond of children and in the ancient myths surrounding her it’s said that “she flies through the night sky attended by an army of lost souls, including the demonic-looking Perchten, her army of servants who are visually nearly indistinguishable from Krampus. The only way to know for sure is context; Krampus rides abroad at St. Nicholas Eve while the Perchten tend more toward Epiphany, and the last three Thursdays before Christmas, also known as Berchtl nights or Knocking nights.”

This non-Krampus movie is at least a sort-of accurate version of the Frau Perchta legend and sees a town terrorized by a curse that was put on them by a woman (maybe) wrongly accused of stealing missing children. Now 25 years later, it seems like the Christmas witch, Frau Perchta, is upon them and is planning on stealing 12 children over the 12 days of Christmas. Scary stuff.

Krampus 2: The Devil Returns (2016)

This incredibly low-budget sequel to Krampus: The Christmas Devil (more on this in a minute) centers on–like so many bad straight-to-streaming horror sequels–some useless cops. They’re searching for missing children who it seems have been stolen by Krampus, so this at least gets one point for a classic Krampus trope.

There is a naughty list in this film too, although it’s actually held onto by the grimy mall Santa who plays a truly horrible role in this movie that is utterly unpleasant to watch. Generally this movie has little to no Krampus accuracy with most of the plot following the useless cops as they struggle to battle a gang of low level violent criminals including the grimy Santa Claus.

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That gross Santa actually poses one of the biggest issues to the Krampus accuracy as the movie is more concerned with making a bleak festive crime flick ala Silent Night Deadly Night–but nowhere near as good–rather than making a movie about a scary folkloric figure. That’s why this one ends up near the bottom of our accuracy list, not just because it’s really not about Krampus at all but also because it’s gross, exploitative, and is more concerned with lazy “shock twists” than the story of Krampus.

Krampus Origins (2018)

Seeing as this movie begins in WWII with Nazis trying to summon Krampus and American soldiers stealing the Krampus summoning machine, this is surely the least accurate… but shockingly, no.

The film follows the young inhabitants of an orphanage who end up with the Krampus box. From this viewer’s perspective it’s definitely a movie that probably began life as a non-Krampus film and had the folkloric figure hamfistedly added at a later date because Krampus barely makes an appearance. Also, does this title imply that these are the origins of the Krampus? Because that doesn’t make any sense, seeing as the box summons him from his ancient world, so he clearly already had origins there that are not explored here at all!

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The 21 Best Christmas Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher and 5 others

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The Christmas Chronicles 2: Who or What is the Belsnickel?

By Natalie Zutter

Despite the fact this is mostly a not very entertaining film about ye olde depressed kids in an even more depressing orphanage, like most of our other entries the 2018 film does stick to two key Krampus lore points: the Krampus (briefly) featured here does love to hunt kids and has big scary horns. His arrival is also heralded by an enigmatic child called Nicholas, which seems like it’s a reference to Krampus’ connection to St. Nicholas, but maybe we’re being too generous.

Krampus Unleashed (2016)

Apparently the idea of the Krampus just appearing each Krampusnacht and terrorizing local kiddies is a bit too much for filmmakers to stomach as this is the second movie in our list that includes a very specific plot line about Krampus being trapped in the past and then freed by Americans. Here, though, he’s freed by a group of prospectors who at the open are looking for the mythical treasure of Eric Klaus. They come to a very gnarly end at the claws of the old Krampus who is looking very much like a goat-man here which is a step up from the usual red horned devil representations we’ve gotten in some of the other Krampus movies.

Alas, this is otherwise pretty light on Krampus-accurate lore as we spend most of the runtime with a family having some Hallmark-esque Christmas gathering in a desert ranch. For most of the movie the Krampus seems to be controlled / represented by a magical orange shiny rock which doesn’t appear in any lore we’ve seen but is a smart way to keep the budget low.

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013)

A voiceover gives us a slightly confusing rundown of Krampus history as we venture into this micro-budget movie. Apparently in this world Krampus is St. Nicholas’ brother which is definitely not the case in any Krampus lore we read about. But we do get to see Krampus putting a naughty kid into a sack and then trying to drown them which is both brutal but also pretty accurate for Krampus lore. The creature also has some solid claws and has a naughty list which he uses to find the bad girls and boys that he has to kill. Krampus: The Christmas Devil is also the only movie in our list that specifies that Krampus has just one night to do his terrible deeds.

DuckTales Season 3 Episode 18 Review: How Santa Stole Christmas!

By Shamus Kelley

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How Darlene Love Brings the Holiday Spirit and Soul to The Christmas Chronicles 2

By Tony Sokol

In this film’s defense, it does have more Krampus action in its opening than some of the films on this list do in their entire runtime, and it makes use of some good weird out-of-license Krampus art during the opening and credits.

But after the first few minutes we get sucked into a boring crime story about (you guessed it!) useless cops trying to find kids that the Krampus has apparently stolen. When Krampus does pop up in brief moments throughout the film, he’s killing anyone who gets in his way, losing the spirit of the Krampus Christmas. Plus, the original folklore doesn’t have any mention of cops let alone an entire Krampus duology of low-budget movies centered on them.

Krampus: The Reckoning (2015)

This one begins with a solid retelling of the Krampus legend which makes it one of the most Krampus-heavy offerings in our list. According to this flick, Krampus is as old as time itself and as the grandma warns her child “as Santa rewards good children, Krampus punishes the bad.” Which is all very true! Congrats creepy, horror grandma!

Interestingly, this film adds in a weird Krampus voodoo doll which is created by a young girl so she can wield the power of the monster against those who do her wrong. In a non-lore but still entertaining twist, the Krampus here is essentially a Jason Voorhees-style killer who just murders everyone including beginning with an abusive couple who’ve been having some pre-marital sex. On the naughty list you go!

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By David Crow and 3 others

The big change from the legend is that Krampus is controlled and summoned by a little girl who uses the monster to exact revenge on adults who harm children. So ironically this one would have been better under the title Krampus: The Avenger. Revenge movies are fun, but even though there’s some good “what is Krampus” wiki moments, that big twist means this one slides down the Krampus accuracy rating pretty quickly.

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

This freaky and festive anthology is a whole lot of fun and includes an interesting visual representation of Krampus. To really get into this entry would be to ruin its secrets, but on the surface it’s about Santa Claus as he battles his elves and Mrs. Claus who have been turned into nightmarish zombies. During the finale, Santa battles the Krampus who is definitely one of the best and most interesting versions that we’ve seen on screen: a true representation of the half-goat half-man creature that we’re all desperate to see.

This is a really cool Christmas anthology that utilizes the Krampus in an interesting way that adds to the story, even if when all’s said and done we can’t say that this is a wholly accurate Krampus movie.

Krampus: The Avenger A.K.A. Krampus vs. Vikings (2019)

This historical horror entry is at moments surprisingly “accurate” (well, at least as far as Krampus movies go).

Set in England during 820, the film centers around a Viking troupe trying to take over the castle of the British king. But their plans are waylaid by a demonic horned beast who lives in the forest and comes each “Yule Day” to kill families. This isn’t technically correct as Krampusnacht is usually on December 5th, the night before St. Nicholas Day on December 6th, plus Krampus is usually most interested in stealing/harming children rather than whole families. But early on in the movie we see Krampus talking about the naughty list, which gains the movie another accuracy point, and visually the practical effects heavy Krampus looks relatively like the creature we all know and fear, although it’s arguably more like a standard devil than a half-goat half-man beast.

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Just like the majority of this list, Krampus the Avenger is a super low budget movie that is mostly concerned with the easy to shoot action of the Vikings and the royal family and less so with the Krampus. In fact, I would go so far to say this likely could have been a random Game of Thrones style knock-off that added a few Krampus reshoot moments… but that’s just a guess. Either way, the miniscule but present Krampus storyline is more accurate to the lore than usual until it gets lost in a strange wishing / vengeance / murder twist which makes little to no sense.

Krampus (2015)

A modern Christmas horror classic, Krampus is truly a joy to watch. With an all-star cast featuring Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, and Allison Tolman, this dark comedy is all about that titular creature even if it strays a little from the classical lore.

When a family gathers for Christmas, their stress, tension, and bitterness around the season begins to seep into their celebrations which comes to a head when the young son tears up his letter to Santa and throws it outside. It’s a mistake that will change all their lives forever as it summons the Krampus, a huge blizzard, and a nightmarish evening they’ll never forget.

This Krampus looks just how you’d expect the beast too, with huge horns and ghoulish goat hooves. But a big change in his motivations means that this Krampus is sent out to punish those who have lost the Christmas spirit, which is very different from dragging bad kids to hell or whipping them with sticks. Saying that, the entire family is objectively very badly behaved and really deserves the punishment the Krampus gives them. The final twist also strays from Krampus lore but is really creepy and overall this is a magnificent example of a Krampus tale.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Ironically, the film that feels closest to the origins of the Krampus doesn’t use the word Krampus once. It’s also one of the best films on our list, so if you haven’t seen this cult horror hit now is the perfect time. Rare Exports does feature a horned beast but here he’s known only as Santa Claus and is only ever seen frozen in a block of ice, which to be honest makes him even scarier. Directed by Jalmari Helander, this creepy classic begins when the local people of a small Finnish province which is thought to be home to the original Santa Claus, Joulupukki (which translates as Yule Goat), discover something incredibly strange. Their entire town was built on an ancient burial ground used to trap a strange ancient horned creature…

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The legends of Joulupukki and Krampus are incredibly similar, though the most interesting difference–which the film plays on–is that rather than being St. Nick’s helper, Joulupukki is the original Santa Claus. While we don’t get too deep into Krampus lore here, there is an evil horned beast, kids in peril, multiple evil Santa-type figures, and some good chilly Christmas horror. If you want something that lives up to the creepiness of the Krampus, and adds lore and depth to the story you already know, then Rare Exports is the ultimate Krampus movie pick.

The post Ranking Every Krampus Movie by Krampus Lore Accuracy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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terryblount · 5 years

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Gears 5 – Campaign Review

Spring has arrived in my village. Birds are chirping, flowers are everywhere, and cafés are packed with customers sipping beers in complete absorption of the Rugby World Cup. Meanwhile, I am locked away in my apartment from the both the frivolities of sports fans and the beauty of nature while the sounds of gunfire and chainsaws constantly blare from my room.

While an unenlightened passer-by might think the time has finally come to call the orderlies with the padded van, gamers would know right away that I am playing the latest smash hit from The Coalition – Gears 5. Apparently the whole ‘War’ thing has been dragging on for so long that the planet Sera considers conflict to be the norm, so now it’s just Gears.

JD stealing his neighbour’s cable. Seriously though, if I could have one wish, I would wish for a Lancer.

Pointless title alterations aside, Gears 5 proves that even the mass public opinion can be right about some things. After once-again donning that ol’ chunky amour, and fighting the Locust… I mean The Swarm through open deserts, ruined cities and harsh snowscapes, rest assured that the latest in Microsoft’s lovechild franchise is everything you have been hearing about, and perhaps more. rest assured that the latest in Microsoft’s lovechild franchise is everything you have been hearing about, and perhaps more.

Taking things into high gear

The whole saga of Marcus Phoenix and co. may have written the recipe for making an excellent 3rd person shooter, but somehow their storytelling has always fallen by the wayside. Despite the series eventually building up a dense and intricate lore around itself, every Gears game pushed players towards that inevitable cycle of SHOOT SHOOT, exposition, SHOOT SHOOT, cutscene.

In all honesty, Gears 5 does little to break this mold since I once again lost track of why the characters on screen were doing what they where doing. As with other Gears games, this is mainly due to the gap between gameplay and narrative being just a little too wide. Thankfully, The Coalition have made a few interesting additions by evolving the series’s narrative chops to slightly higher standards than previous entries.

First off, this is easily the most expansive entry into this series, so I guess this is where the majority of that colossal install file went. The world building is really stellar here, and as the gameplay shifts effortlessly from one expansive set piece to the next, you get this feeling that the backdrops are telling a story just as much as the characters’ dialogue.

There are some dark moments such as the scene through an abandoned laboratory where Kait learns about atrocities committed in experiments on children, as well as the dark secret behind her migraines and visions. Then there are more whimsical moments where, believe it or not, you actually face off against the swarm on a theatre’s stage while using acting props as cover.

The theatre where JD and the gang are attacked by the swarm

I also liked how The Coalition seemed willing to experiment with a more controlled pacing in a series not exactly know for taking things easy. The cutscenes are far more dramatic, and the abundance of zoomed-in shots creates a profound sense of intimacy with the characters. Gears 5 is also the first in this series to feature semi open-world intermissions, but more on that in a moment.

Gears of bore(dom)

Gears 5 is not quite the Unreal Engine 4’s finest hour, but this game is still a sensory blowout. This particular engine has had some time to become friends with our PC’s, so I don’t fully understand why the graphics settings look like a Boeing 747’s control panel. At least players willing to tinker a little are guaranteed to push really high resolutions and frame rates.

Gorgeous to look at. Makes me wonder why the original trilogy was so brown when all these amazing colours lie underneath

Most unfortunately, Gears 5 felt like an utter technical mess at times in terms of stability. Now I am well aware that my PC is entering its twilight years, and that my internet subscription leaves much to be desired. However, those finding themselves in my position had better be warned: You might have a hard time playing your game.

My review copy came through the Microsoft store – a platform that has given me nothing but grief since the moment I first used it. The usual bag of issues followed as I predicted they would: Sluggish download time, always online that refused to let me play when my shoddy internet decided it no longer loved me, and the entire install process freezing permanently halfway through.

However, the worst was that Gears 5 had this strange habit of crashing my entire PC and blaming it on my GPU. This is an utter mystery to me considering I was running the latest drivers without any complaints from other games, and the crashes seemed totally random. I could always tell it was coming since the game would start stuttering worse than someone with an old prostate trying to pee.

Biggest mystery of the game: Why is it always crashing?

Gears 5 is a weird case of when it works, it works well, but otherwise this game literally ground my entire PC to a halt. Naturally I suspected this to be the cause of the newly-adjusted overclocks I had just set on my CPU and GPU, but some searching on the official Gears of War Forums revealed that I was not alone. Definitely something The Coalition and Nvidia will want to address since Steam is filling up fast with red thumbs pointing down.

Top gear

You have to wonder if Epic Games had realised just how future proof the formula underneath the original Gears of War had been. Here we are, about thirteen years later, and playing Gears 5 feels completely identical and just as enjoyable. Overall, what separates Gears 5 and the first entry in this series amounts to very little when I thought about it.

You can really tell The Coalition have tried to preserve the classic, cover-based shooter mechanics in the way that characters move and engage during firefights, but also in how nearly all of the classic weapons have made a return. Gears 5 therefore adds more things to the formula rather than rebooting or attempting to make fundamental changes to the gameplay.

The best example of this is all the new functions that have been endowed onto the ever present but rarely seen little robot, Jack. This little mechanical marvel is now a much more central tool in how you can turn a combat scenario to your advantage.

Struggling to nail that headshot? Just ask Jack to stun the enemy making them stand up and expose their head from cover. Want that Boomshot lying at the other end of the battlefield? No problem, Jack can warp right over. Oh, your comrade is down you say? After a few upgrades, Jack can scoot right into the midst of the firefight and revive them while the player provides some cover fire.

I will be honest and say that I actually forgot about Jack most of the time since the gunplay in Gears 5 is simply too addictive. I also questioned why the little robot should be able to give your character stealth abilities to sneak up on enemies. Give it some thought: Stealth abilities… in a Gears game. Seeing it here feels like a sex toy making a sudden appearance in the middle of a monastery.

Nevertheless, once players familiarise themselves with what the little tin can can do, it is possible to get really creative with how you will slaughter the swarm. Collecting some of Jack’s special upgrade parts take place in the non-linear acts of the game where Kait is free to have a little kite surf around the world, and just hang out with Del. It is nice little diversion from the furious gunfights without entirely venturing into cut-and-paste pointless side quest territory.

Gears 5 also really goes out of its way to make the environments more engaging than they have ever been. One of my all-time favourite moments was during a snow level scene where the horde storms at the player across a frozen lake. This of course gives you the opportunity to shatter the ice right underneath their feet.

This was an awesome sequence where you get to watch seriously intimidating enemies plunge into the frigid water and flail about helplessly as they freeze solid. Combine this with weapons like the ‘Buzzkill’ (which basically flings around ricocheting circular saw blades) and I couldn’t remember when last I had this much fun in a shooting game.

That little white thing pointing out is the head of locust… I mean swarm

Aworthy sequel

Gears of War may have started its journey on the Xbox 360, but I am truly grateful that the series has come to call the PC its home nowadays. I remember spending my entire summer job earnings on a Radeon HD 2600 XT to play the first game on my Windows Vista PC. Once I saw those gorgeous DirectX 10 textures come alive at smooth frame rates, all that soul-crushing work seemed worth it.

Both Gears of War 4 and Gears 5 take me back to those days where I could play one of the industry’s most beautiful and action-packed 3rd person shooters on my favourite platform. That being said, I feel obliged to warn those thinking of picking up Gears 5 that they might run into some substantial technical difficulties. Let’s hope the Coalition and Nvidia get cracking with those patches, yes?

Solid presentation

Stays true to formula

Pacing is handled well

New and old weapons

Character development

Technical issues

Only certain characters playable

Loading times

Play time: About 13 hours total. For the single player campaign

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using mouse and keyboard

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ultralifehackerguru-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/21-biggest-questions-seeing-star-wars-last-jedi/

The 21 biggest questions we have after seeing 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi'

Warning: There are spoilers ahead. Do not read on if you have not seen “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”

“Star Wars: The Last Jedi” is finally in theaters and fans are having a lot of different feelings about it.

Maybe you loved it. Maybe you’re mad at the number of unresolved answers provided from 2015’s “The Force Awakens.” (We want to know who Snoke is, too!) Maybe you’re just wondering what some of those weird scenes were about. The more you think about “The Last Jedi,” the less some of it starts to make sense.

Whatever you’re feeling about “TLJ,” we hear you. Let’s wade through this together.

Keep reading to see the biggest questions we have after the movie.

View As: One Page Slides

1. Who is Rey?

No, really. Who are you?

Lucasfilm

Let’s start off with an easy one.

Yes, we know Kylo Ren gave us some sort of answer. He said Rey is no one, a nobody from Jakku with nobody parents who sold her for money. Could Ben Solo have been lying? Rey seems way too advanced without proper training in the Force to not have some Jedi lineage.

If that really was the big reveal, boy was it a letdown.

You can read more on Rey’s reveal and what we know (or don’t know) about her here.

2. So, who was Snoke?

Does it even matter who this guy is at this point?

Disney/Lucafilm

Another letdown. “The Force Awakens” built up this mysterious villain, spawning two years worth of theories on his identity, only to kill him off without giving us any backstory whatsoever on him.

Sorry, gang. Your theories didn’t matter. And that’s a plot point which is most likely going to fracture the fandom — annoying those who invested so much time in something that had absolutely zero payoff.

If you decided to pick up any of Disney’s tie-in novelizations you got a little more of a peek into Snoke (but not really). You can read more on the character here.

3. Is Luke dead?

Luke just peaced on this entire franchise. Deuces.

Disney/Lucasfilm

In short, yes. Luke finally made peace with his demons and found some sort of resolve with his nephew. Now, he’s one with the Force. Maybe we’ll see him return as a Force Ghost like Yoda.

And if you’re not convinced, director Rian Johnson confirmed as much during a post-screening Q&A.

“I had huge hesitance,” said Johnson. “I was terrified. It was a growing sense of dread when I realized this was going to make sense in that chapter.”

4. But is Luke going to appear in another “Star Wars” movie?

Who knows at this point?

Disney/Lucasfilm

Maybe with Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher out of the picture, Hamill decided it was his time to move on, too.

At the film’s post-screening Q&A, Hamill seemed hopeful he could return.

“I’m just still holding on to the line, ‘See you around, kid.’ I can be in Episode Nine!” Hamill said. “I might consider catering the film just so I can hang out.”

You can read more about Skywalker’s departure from “The Last Jedi” here.

5. Will R2-D2 stay awake or will he go back into his droid hibernation?

R2 has seen some stuff.

Disney/Lucasfilm

We know R2 was deep in droid sleep because he was sad his master Luke went into exile.

Though he woke up at the end of “The Force Awakens” when Luke’s location was found and was overjoyed to reunite with him in “The Last Jedi,” what will he do now that Luke is gone? Will R2 go back into a deep slumber or will he go back to hanging out with his best bud, C-3P0?

6. Is Carrie Fisher going to be in the next “Star Wars” movie?

It seems weird that Princess Leia is still alive at the movie’s end.

Disney/Lucasfilm

One of the most surprising reveals of “The Last Jedi” is that Princess Leia made it through the movie alive. Does that mean we’ll see her in “Episode IX”?

Disney CEO Bob Iger has said the company would not use CG to bring Fisher’s character to life.

7. What was that entire scene with Leia floating in space?

I’m sorry, but it felt like Disney was toying with our emotions a bit on this one.

Disney

Perhaps the most mind-boggling scene in “The Last Jedi” — and there are several — is one that occurs early in the movie. It looks like Princess Leia is going to be killed off, but then the rug gets pulled up from under us.

The camera comes back to Leia floating in space and she slowly wakes up and gets herself to safety.

What gives? Can people all of a sudden breathe in space? What sort of Force powers does Leia have where she can wake up (in space) and fly through the air like Peter Pan to safety?

We’re just going to sit tight and wait for answers right now.

7. Why is there a Force-sensitive kid on Canto Bight?

You can be a Jedi and you can be a Jedi. Everyone can be a Jedi!

Lucasfilm

Perhaps the strangest (and most unnecessary) reveal was that one of the kids in the casino city Finn visited is Force-sensitive. That revelation leads to a lot of questions.

Is that child related to a famous Force user? Are there more Force-sensitive kids on Canto Bight? Is the casino city a dumping ground for potential Force-sensitive kids or can anyone be Force-sensitive now?

In the larger scope of “Star Wars” lore, is this how we’re explaining Rey’s mysterious Force powers?

10. How does Rey know how to swim?

Shouldn’t she have drowned?

Disney/Lucafilm

Rey falls into a body of water on Ahch-To and masterfully makes her way to shore without a problem.

This girl has only ever lived on a desert planet her entire life. When did she learn to swim?

10. How does Ben and Rey’s Force talk work?

It’s like they were Skyping.

Disney/Lucasfilm

We know Snoke was responsible for connecting them together, but they were still able to speak to each other after the Supreme Leader was killed.

And how were they able to see each other while connecting? It’s never seemed to be that way in the past (that we know of). Luke and Leia and Luke and his father would communicate, but it only ever appeared that they heard each other.

Is Disney just making its own Force rules now?

11. If Snoke was linking Ben’s and Rey’s minds why did he connect them together when Ben was shirtless?

We appreciate shirtless Adam Driver, but that was weird.

Disney

Did Snoke think seeing Ben shirtless was going to get Rey to come running to their ship? That’s a bit invasive.

12. What was up with that trippy mirror scene?

Was Rey looking into the Mirror of Erised? This felt like something out of “Harry Potter.”

Disney/Lucasfilm

Rey didn’t get any answers about her parents from this magical Force cave in “The Last Jedi.” For whatever reason, she didn’t bother asking Luke about the mirror cave when he may have been the one person who knew what it was.

12. Why was Yoda the only Force ghost in this movie?

Is everyone else on vacation because we were hoping to be reunited with Obi-Wan.

Lucasfilm

Where’s his Force ghost dad or his old pal Obi-Wan Kenobi? We know Ewan McGregor wants in on some more “Star Wars” movies.

13. Why don’t all Stormtroopers have chrome suits?

It seems like it would be cost effective in the long run.

Disney/Lucasfilm

There’s a scene where Rose tries to shoot Captain Phasma late in the film and blaster fire bounces off of Phasma’s chrome armor.

If blaster beams bounce off of chrome armor, shouldn’t all Stormtroopers get with the times and wear chrome armor? Is it too expensive? Just leave Phasma with that awesome cape to stand out.

15. Why didn’t any allies respond to Leia’s cry for help near the end of the movie?

Leia told the Resistance to use her code specifically when they reached out to allies on Crait.

Universal Studios

Is everyone else dead who aligns with Leia or is there no hope left in the galaxy?

16. Is Rey going to have a double-bladed lightsaber in the next film?

Imagine this as a lightsaber.

Disney/Lucasfilm

Rey and Kylo Ren snapped Luke’s original lightsaber in half near the film’s end. Rey sat with the broken lightsaber next to Leia at the film’s end.

We’re hoping the kyber crystal from the weapon can be used to build her a new weapon and one that would resemble the staff she’s used to wielding.

17. Do the Jedi matter anymore?

This is a real question.

Lucasfilm

We seem to get some differing opinions on this matter from Luke Skywalker and Yoda. It’s a bit confusing and a bit frustrating.

Most of the movie, Luke preaches that the Jedi need to end.

I get it. Luke makes some good points about the Jedi giving rise to Darth Vader and Darth Sidious. They’re not perfect. The perfect balance of the Force would be something in between a Jedi and Sith, a true balance of light and dark which Luke never suggests.

Here are a few things he says about the terrible Jedi:

“I’ll teach you the ways of the Jedi, and why they need to end.”

“To say if the Jedi die that the Force dies is vanity.”

“The legacy of the Jedi is failure.”

When Rey leaves him to find Kylo Ren, Luke goes to burn down a sacred Jedi tree. He pauses, but then Force ghost Yoda shows up to finish the job. The two sit around laughing and smiling as they watch the tree go up in flames and decide that the Jedi are over.

A few scenes later, Luke meets up Kylo Ren (in hologram form, but whatever) and tells him that the Jedi will not end with him. There’s another. The scene cuts over to Rey.

What? You just said the Jedi were done Luke. Which is it?

18. Will “Episode IX” take place in the future?

“Episode VIII” doesn’t exactly leave you excited to see the next chapter right away.

Lucasfilm

Actually, what will “Episode IX” even be about? “The Last Jedi” sits nicely on its own as a standalone movie.

I guess the Resistance still has to take down Kylo Ren and whatever is left of the First Order, but what’s the real end game here? Are they trying to bring down Kylo Ren or turn him to the light side? Leia seemed to give up all hope on her son by the end of “The Last Jedi.”

The fact that Leia Organa is still alive at the end of the movie also makes it difficult to believe the film won’t have some sort of time jump. Disney has said it won’t CG her into future movies. Otherwise, the character would need to be awkwardly written out.

19. How did Rey get on the Millennium Falcon near the movie’s end?

Great to see you Rey, but when did you get on that ship?

Disney/Lucasfilm

After Rey leaves Kylo Ren, General Hux says that she took Snoke’s escape ship. When we next see Rey, she’s aboard the Millennium Falcon on Crait. Rey had to have stopped somewhere in between to ditch Snoke’s ship and get on the Falcon. For all we know, Snoke’s ship is just floating out in space.

20. Does Rey have the sacred Jedi order texts?

You may have missed this moment.

Disney/Lucasfilm

We thought we spied them tucked aboard the Millennium Falcon in a drawer, but we’re not 100% sure. (Others have told us they spotted them, too.)

Luke never made it into the Jedi tree to get them out. Yoda simply told him Rey had all the tools she needed to carry on.

21. Is Reylo going to be a thing?

Please don’t let them be related.

Disney

We were totally getting those vibes and we support it.

(C)

#Lifestyle #Movie #star wars

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