#and then in three days she was gone leaving us to sort out everything we hadn't had a chance to ask her opinion on

[beholdthemem]

In between getting things done up at my grandparents' house, we've been talking with Granddad and occasionally learning some unexpected tidbits about family history. Like, I already knew both Granddad's father and stepmom were extremely involved in union work- the first time they met was in a UAW office!- but I did not quite realize to what extent.

"We had people come and visit a lot, and sometimes they'd stay for quite a while. There was one guy, when I was about seven, who stayed with us for some time- it wasn't until years later that I learned that was Roy Reuther, and Dad and Mom were hiding him because Henry Ford wanted him dead."

#personal #there is a photo somewhere of granddad as a little kid alongside my great grandparents- apparently this was at some kind of union related #event in atlantic city? huh. i never knew. #based on the information we've gotten from the doctors and tasha's friend the retired oncologist #it seems like things are early enough along that we have time to close accounts/whatever and spend time with granddad #but the locations of tumors mean don't get your hopes up. #it's... strange. #i know we're incredibly lucky to have been given enough time that we can do this *with* granddad and ask #how he wants things done- which cloud storage service to transfer his photos to #how he does the banking and how he'd like us to do it #insurance etc #we didn't get that with mom. it looked like she was doing better until suddenly she wasn't #and then in three days she was gone leaving us to sort out everything we hadn't had a chance to ask her opinion on #so i KNOW from *first hand experience* how uniquely lucky we are to have this opportunity #...but oh it feels so strange to listen to granddad give input on which funeral home would be best #and discuss at what point in time to take him off the car insurance #im still recording our conversations #i know i shouldn't but i like being able to listen back to what he has to say #and talk shakespeare with someone else who ALSO thinks it's ridiculous that anyone says 'he couldn't #POSSIBLY have written those plays himself he wasn't EDUCATED enough-' #there's a lot of happy things and sad things #it's all just... very bittersweet i guess.

[drabblesandimagines]

Swipe Right

Leon Kennedy x female reader, commissioned piece Lots of dumb fluff ahead! Thanks so much to the lovely @porcelainseashore for commissioning me with the brief of Leon using a dating app! I've said it before and I'll say it again - please do go check out Porcelain's fics! x

“So,” Leon places his elbows on the counter behind, leans back and flashes a winning smile, “how about dinner later?”

The auburn-haired woman waits for her coffee to finish dispensing before she shakes her head, lips pursed. “No, thank you, Agent Kennedy.”

“Oh.” He was sure they’d had some sort of connection. Their eyes had met across the office on more than one occasion, flirtatiously so – had he read it wrong? “You have plans already tonight?”

“Mm, something like that.” She smiles, politely, picking up her DSO-branded mug and heading out of the break room without so much as a glance back.

Leon shrugs it off – he’s good at that – and places his own mug under the spout, about to make his coffee selection when a familiar voice chirps over his shoulder.

“Have you ever thought of internet dating?”

He spins round, surprised. “Claire?”

“Hi.” She waves with a smile. “So, internet dating?”

Leon’s brow furrowed, about to ask why she was here, but from the visitor lanyard around her neck it was clear it was down to some sort of TerraSafe business, but why is she going on about internet dating?

Oh.

“Wait, did you hear…?”

“The dinner invite? Oh, yes.” She nods, crossing her arms. “Does that ever work?”

“Yes.”

Claire quirks an eyebrow.

“Okay, not recently.” He retorts, turning back around and pressing the button for his black coffee to start dispensing.

“Uh-huh…” She steps forward, turns to lean against the counter to look at him. “I’m telling you, Leon - internet dating. I finally convinced Chris to give it a go about six months back, and he seems pretty happy. Been seeing a nice girl for three months now – a florist.”

Leon shakes his head, watching the coffee dispense with feigned interest. “Surprised Redfield went for it. How the hell do you introduce anyone to what we’ve seen?” At least with women from work, he didn’t have to skirt around what the hell he does all day.

“Heard of keeping work and homelife separate?”

“And Chris manages that?”

“I mean, she knows what he’s shared with her, but he took it slow. It’s not like the government can keep everything secret these days – not with everyone having a smart phone.” Claire grimaces, remembering the videos of the Alcatraz attack popping up on social media on a live stream. It was taken down pretty quick, but still popped up occasionally. They can’t hide it forever.

“Anyway, enough about Chris’ love life, I’m trying to help yours. Have you tried it? There’s websites and apps…”

Leon recalls a week of medical leave – battered, bruised and laid out on the couch on high doses of meds, flipping through the cable channels and losing hours to a show about people falling in love over the internet, only for the person to be using a fake photo of an entirely different identity and being crushed when they met in person.

“Isn’t that where the catfish are?”

Claire rolls her eyes. “We won’t set your radius that large.”

He looks down, a little confused. “My… radius?”

Leon’s not present on social media, but that’s hardly a surprise with his work. Maybe, if things had been different, he would’ve trawled through it at some point – joined a group for graduates from the Police Academy of ’98, checked in, gone to some sort of graduating class reunion where they would’ve swapped stories from precincts over a lukewarm beer or two in a hall dressed up with balloons and streamers.

Come to think of it, he doesn’t really remember the names of anyone in his graduating class, though he’s not sure if that’s down to a certain amount of knocks to the head throughout his career getting to him. He could look them up – they’ll be in some sort of database somewhere that Hunnigan could help him locate, but what would he say?

“Me? Well, I had one day on the job – hell of a first day, actually – and then I was ‘recruited’ into military training, so technically not a cop anymore either.”

“Phone, please.” Claire has moved to sit down at one of the small tables in the kitchen, now holding out her hand expectantly. He finds himself joining her, mug of coffee in one hand and the other pulling out his cell from his suit jacket pocket. He hands it over because it’s Claire and he’s known her long enough now to know she’s not going to drop the subject so easily.

“Have you got any selfies on here?”

“Don’t think so. Why?”

“To put on your profile. Anything I shouldn’t see in your gallery?”

He shakes his head.

“Seriously, Leon?” She must’ve opened the app by the way she’s scrolling down on the screen. “These are all sunsets and photos of your motorcycle.”

“What should I be picking pictures of?”

“Oh, wait… Here’s one.” She turns the phone around. It’s him, grinning, next to a corpse of a zombiefied lion. “I repeat – seriously, Leon?”

“Ha, yeah.” He smiles in acknowledgement. “I was trying to get Hunnigan interested in fieldwork with the spectacular sights.” Claire turns the phone back around and the sound of a camera shutter clicks out of the speaker.

“Ooh, that’s a good candid – and no-one needs to know what you were looking at.”

“Look, it’s nice of you to offer, but I don’t know about all this…” He rubs the back of his head.

“It’s 30 days free. Just try it and if you still don’t like it by the end of the trial, you can delete it off your phone and I won’t bring it up again.”

He stalls, taking a long sip of his coffee as he thinks. Claire means well, after all and if Chris has had luck with it, considering what Leon knows he’s seen and lived through, what does he have to lose, really?

“Fine. 30 days.”

“Great! Now, let’s set up your profile…”

--

Claire had given him a tutorial – swipe left if you’re not interested on a profile, right if you are. If the person swipes right in return, it’ll set you up as a match and you can start a conversation – signaled by a small speech bubble icon appearing on the bottom right.

It wasn’t until that evening that Leon tried it out properly, sat on his couch, killing time before bed and begins to swipe through. It feels a little odd – he usually likes to get to know a person somewhat before offering out his dinner invite, but this is mostly on looks alone, with a tiny snippet of profile information – age, location, what they’re looking for.

He swipes right on a blonde, her profile full of photos from beach vacations or something, says she’s not too far away from him and is ‘looking to connect with someone deeply.’ A chat box pops up immediately and after a moment or two, three dots show Beauty – he’s not sure that’s her real name - is typing.

Hey, big boy. What’s bigger – your forearms or… An eggplant emoji?

Oh.

He hesitates over writing back a response. He can flirt with the best of them, but how is anyone meant to make a genuine connection over this app? Maybe he’s too old for this shit.

He puts his cell down by his side and switches on the television instead.

--

“So…” Claire drawls over his shoulder over three weeks later, tracked him down to his desk.

“So…” He mocks back with a tease, swinging around in his office chair.

“Any good dates recently?”

He laughs. “How do you even get that far?”

“You’ve not gone on one?”

“Not for lack of trying.” It’s true. After Beauty, he had struck up conversation with a few more genuine girls that seemed to be going well until he’d broached the idea of a date and they’d drop off the radar. “A couple seemed interested but then stopped replying. I got one date – she didn’t show up.”

“Oh, come on.” Claire leans against his desk. “That can’t be everyone. Let me see.” There’s the expectant hand again. He sighs, picks up his phone and opens the app before handing it over to her.

She sets to scrolling through new arrivals for him, before she pauses. “Well, this one looks sweet.”

“Claire, I appreciate your concern but I just don’t think this app is for me. I gave it a go, I swear.”

“I know, but you’ve got a few days left on the free trial at least - you won’t lose anything. Just take a look?”

He takes the phone back and looks at the screen – a cropped picture of you, it looks like, your friends’ arms around your shoulders, a big, genuine smile on your face. Not a pout or a smolder in a night club mirror.

“Aw, you’re smiling.”

“Fine.” He swipes, but the message bubble doesn’t pop up. That’s the one thing he doesn’t like about this app – you never know if the other one will swipe back.

“No match.”

“Give her a moment,” Claire elbows him, playfully. “Not everyone is scrolling for dates at work.”

“Hey-”

“Speaking of, I’ve got a meeting. See you!”

--

You throw yourself down on the bed, a little bit tipsy after an evening of drinking with your friends, and hold your phone dangerously above your face – you’ve been so close to giving yourself a black eye from the drop so many times but never learn – and open up that stupid app. Your friend had encouraged you to sign up to it after declaring you’d been in a pity party for long enough now after your last break-up and it was time to get back out there.

You scroll through the latest arrivals, swiping left as you go. Everyone internet dates now, you don’t know why you only seem to attract utter creeps on it. You’d been on a few dates, but they’d all been entirely awkward outside the safety of the chat box.

You pause on one new arrival, Leon, 41, the first photo in the set clearly a candid. He’s dressed in a suit – no tie. Businessman, you wonder? Amazingly hot and maybe the most shiniest hair you’ve ever seen.

You roll over onto your stomach and swipe right, smiling when a chat bubble appears.

--

Leon had just settled into bed for the night when his phone vibrated angrily on the bedside table. He threw a hand out, blindly, and looked at the screen, half expecting it to be an email from work or a message from Hunnigan.

It’s neither – a notification from the app.

Hi, Leon. Thanks for swiping. Can I ask something?

He frowns – a unique opener, but it could still go the way of the others, he reckons. He’s not a prude, per say, but he’s seen a lot more than he was intending to these past few weeks. He backs up and has a quick scroll through your profile, vaguely recognizing your face from when he’d swiped right earlier that day – the girl Claire had deemed sweet.

Hi – ask away.

A bubble appears with three dots within.

How do you get your hair that shiny?

Leon barks out a laugh - definitely refreshing.

I’m sorry, I don’t think we’re at that stage of our relationship yet where I’m comfortable sharing my beauty secrets.

Please? Mine is so dull.

He clicks on your profile again and onto the photos but can’t see why you’re worried about your hair. Truthfully, all he registers when he looks at the picture is that sweet, genuine smile.

Looks pretty good from what I can see.

The camera adds all the shine. Are you using a filter?

Trust me when I say I wouldn’t know how.

Don’t know about filters but using a dating app? That doesn’t gel.

My friend suggested I give this online dating thing a go, so here I am.

Well, you’ll have to thank your friend for me.

Leon hesitates a moment, before shrugging it off.

I’ll be sure to, especially as it’s got me talking to you.

Your scalp tingles, but it seems nothing to do with the alcohol consumed earlier.

Too cheesy? I told you I’m new to this, right?

Nah, you’re gouda.

Leon grins.

--

The conversation continues to flow over the next few days. You talk about work – he keeps it vague, works in the government, can be called away on business trips last minute – and you are equally elusive in your response of office work. Internet safety, he reckons, smart girl that you are. Hearing his phone ping with a notification has quickly become his favourite sound.

Nice day? Definitely. Picked up my motorcycle – it’s been in the shop a while. Dare I ask what happened? He hesitates. Chasing a bioterrorist down a highway is perhaps a little too much…

Hit by a truck. I wasn’t on it - obviously.

Jeez. Insurance not just buy you a new one? I can’t think how that’s salvageable.

It’s my favourite, I couldn’t give up on her. You ever been on a motorcycle?

Uh-uh. Too scared.

What of?

Falling off, mainly.

No danger of that if you ride tandem - just need to be sure to hold on real tight.

You bite your lip, mulling over a response, but Leon fills the gap.

And I’d look after you, of course. Make a nice first date, don’t you think?

First date? That’s more, like, third or even fourth date material.

There’s your chance, Kennedy – don’t mess it up.

Well, then we better get the first date out of the way.

You bite your lip as you type back a response. Is that your way of asking?

If it is?

If it is, then I’m free Friday...

Perfect.

--

Friday morning arrives and Leon’s at his desk, typing up a report when his phone chimes. Checking over his shoulder, he pulls it out of his pocket and smiles when he sees it’s a text from you. You’d exchanged numbers the other night, deciding it time to take communication off app ahead of meeting up.

Morning. Question?

Morning. Still after my shampoo secrets?

Yes… But not that. How am I meant to recognize you?

I thought that’d be easy – by how shiny my hair is, apparently.

It’ll be dark out, though.

Is this you trying to be subtle about asking for another photo?

No comment.

Leon locks his computer, the screensaver switching to today’s date and time on a black background. He swings his desk chair around, looks around again to make sure no-one’s on their way past, and opens the camera app. He flips the viewfinder around and tries out a couple of smiles before snapping a selfie – if Claire could see him now…

He sends it through.

Included the time and date and all. Happy?

No comment.

Well, how will I recognize you?

Easy. I’ll be the one coming up to you and saying, “Hi, Leon.” See you tonight x

Until then x

--

The two of you had decided to meet at a bistro – varied menu for all tastes, not too intimate, excellent wine, spirits and craft beer menu.

Leon is nervous as he stands to the side of the entrance – an emotion he hasn’t truly entertained since 1998. There had been no time for it when bioweapons and death were staring him down the face. But, tonight… Well, he’s out of his element on this one. Leon had only ever approached women through work and, yes, it was to varying degrees of success but they’d already seen him properly in person, heard his voice, aware of what he does. There was a horrible niggle at the back of his mind that the date who had stood him up a few weeks ago had caught sight of him and turned heel on the spot.

He looks down at this watch to see it’s bang on 7.30. He’d arrived ten minutes too early, but didn’t want to chance being late and showing up in a fluster. When he looks up, slipping a hand back into his pocket, a figure with a familiar face is walking towards him, greets him with an anxious smile and an awkward half-wave.

God, you’re adorable.

“Hi, Leon.” 

“Hi,” He smiles, one hand still in his pocket, the other hanging down by his side. He wonders if he should’ve gone in for the kiss on the cheek, but he’s missed his chance.

“Erm…” You wring your hands together. “You okay?”

“Great. You?”

Why does he feel as giddy as he did when he picked up his girlfriend for prom back at high school?

“I’m good. It’s nice to put a… voice to a face?” You laugh – light and airy - and Leon’s already desperate to hear it again.

“It really is. Er, shall we?” He gestures forward with his arm.

You nod. “Let’s.”

The conversation is stagnant at first, a sentence here or there as you peruse the drinks menu and move on to ordering starters and entrees. With a little liquid courage, though, the two of you soon slip into easy conversation.

It’s just after the appetizers are cleared when Leon realizes he’s completely and utterly smitten.

You don’t even know where the time has gone, but all of the sudden the two of you are the only diners left and it’s clear the wait staff are looking for you to leave so they can begin their nightly clean down.

He follows you out and onto the sidewalk, a few metres away from the bistro entrance, standing awkwardly opposite each other – mirroring the beginning of the evening.

“So, fancy a ride?”

You tilt your head at him curiously before you burst out into laughter and he grins, rubbing the back of his head, awkwardly, as he realizes the context.

“I mean, I brought my bike here. I can give you a ride home - on my bike.”

You smile. “Not on the first date, remember?”

“Of course.” He nods. “Sticking to your principles – I respect that. Well, can I call you a cab?”

“Oh, actually, I’m gonna walk. I live just in that building over there…” You point up to an apartment building about halfway up the next block.

“I could walk you across the street?” He cringes as he realizes maybe he’s coming on too heavy-handed. “I’m sorry, I promise I can take a hint-”

“No.” You cut across abruptly. “I mean, walking me home would be nice.”

You cross the road in silence, both wrapped up in your own thoughts. You wish you lived slightly further away so you’d have longer to work out what to say, how to end the night.

“So…” Leon begins the other side of the road, the entrance to your apartment block just ahead. He’s trying to keep calm and collected, but there’s just something about you that has made his heart race, his palms sweaty. Don’t fuck this up, Kennedy. “I had a really lovely evening.”

“Me too.” You smile back – and you mean it – but you can’t help but brace yourself. Is this the part where he says, yeah, he had a nice time, but he’d rather not do it again? It seems all too good to be true. He’s the same as he was on the phone, messages and photos.

“Great…” You take a deep breath at his pause, unconsciously clenching your fists, “..cos I was wondering how you felt about a second date?”

“You’re really desperate to get me on that motorcycle, huh?” You tease, instantly relaxing. “But, seriously, I’d like that, to see you again.”

“Is tomorrow too soon?”

“That depends what you have in mind.” You stop, suddenly – the apartment foyer to your left. “This is me.”

“Well, we’ve done dinner, shall we work backwards and have lunch next?”

You take a step closer. “And then breakfast?”

“Fourth could be a midnight feast?” He steps forward too, misjudging the distance and something hard brushes against your stomach. Leon’s eyes widen in alarm. “Oh, wait, I…” He dips his hand into his trouser pocket and pulls out a travel-sized bottle of shampoo with a sheepish smile. “I meant to give you this at the end of dinner – my beauty secret.”

You yank him forward by his jacket collar and kiss him before you can even think properly about what you’re doing. You step up onto your tip toes to deepen the kiss, a hand bracing yourself against his chest for a moment before you mean to step back, maybe even apologise for pouncing on the man, but Leon’s arms wrap around your waist, holding you in place, kissing you back incessantly before you both have to retreat for breath.

“Well, if I knew the shampoo would get that reaction I would’ve started the night off with it.” He murmurs, pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. “I gotta ask though - you’ll kiss on the first date, but not ride a motorcycle?”

You shrug, half-heartedly. “One’s more dangerous than the other.”

He kisses you once more, softly, ending with a teasing nibble on your lip.

“Oh, we’ll see about that, sweetheart.” -- Masterlist . 1,000 followers event

#ghostdogwrites #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fluff

[creedslove]

WHO KNEW? 💍💔

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: You and Joel had been married for a few months when he broke things up with you because he'd fallen in love with someone else, Sarah's mom. You parted ways but more than a decade later you end up meeting Sarah and that leads you to face your ex-husband one more time

• Inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request ❤️

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, asshole!Joel, divorce, infidelity, pregnancy, fluff (a little, maybe?) age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want)

A/N: Hi guys!!! I got obsessed with this story ever since I received that ask and turned into a headcanon but it wasn't enough, I had to write a longer, fuller version of this story! I think it's so appealing because we are all used to Joel being our knight in shining armor, always the perfect husband/boyfriend and well, here we can see another part of him. It's not a crime to fall in love with someone else, but the way he broke reader's heart was very mean. Also, I didn't specify reader's profession, just keep in mind she studied A LOT and now she makes good money, but feel free to idealize her job the way you want. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, besties ❤️

10.6k words

You never really understood why some people told you getting married so young would be a mistake. It didn't make sense to you, at all. You and your soon-to-be husband Joel, were young, yes, but you loved each other deeply. You figured it didn't take much more than that to make a happy marriage.

You were fresh from highschool, always had good grades and it didn't take long for you to be accepted in many different institutions, and yet, you decided it would be a good idea to take a sabbatical year in order to get yourself sorted out, maybe get a job and save up some money and enjoy your marriage a little. Joel was very supportive of you, even if he knew you would eventually leave for college and you would both have to make it work long distance.

Joel was just a couple of years older, he'd just left the military and he also needed to know what to do in life, in order to support his wife, he didn't have the book smarts his girl did, but he was kind-hearted and hard-working. He also hadn't planned on getting married that young, but before he could even try to make any sense out of it, he was deeply in love with you.

So Joel proposed, you said yes, his dad helped him get a small, but cute house and the two of you started your new wed life.

For the first few months, everything was a bed of roses; you were so in love, that man was simply intoxicating. His touches, his kisses, his body, his smell, everything about him was addictive to you and you couldn't be without it.

You had found yourself a part time job as a sales clerk at a baby clothes store at the mall, just as Joel was working as an apprentice in the construction business, it was a very hard job, and just in a matter of a couple of months, you saw your boyfriend becoming bigger and more muscular. He worked hard for you, for your relationship, your marriage and the future family you would build in a couple of years. Even if your friends had told you it was madness getting married so young and your family had asked you not to do it, everything was just fine, what could go wrong?

Every single day, Joel would come back home, tired from work, and he would be welcomed by you in your fullest housewife version. Dinner all ready, house spotless clean and a loving wife dying to be in his arms. He would not disappoint you, taking you into his arms, lifting you up, pressing you against the wall, his kisses were so urgent, so needy of you, his hands roamed all over your body as you felt his cock throbbing. Every night next to your handsome husband Joel was a delight, it was your personal piece of heaven, nothing could stop the two of you when you were together, but eventually, it happened.

You didn't know exactly how it started, or when for that matter, it was all a thick fog in your mind, being unable to say precisely when your marriage began falling apart. Perhaps it happened sooner than you thought but you were just too naive or too blind to see; first thing you noticed, were the kisses; they were gone. No kissing before going to work in the morning but you shrugged it off, thinking that maybe Joel was just in a rush to get to work. Though you really missed them, your skin seemed to burn and ache for his touch, you didn't want to seem like a clingy wife, or nag him with unimportant things. Whenever he came back from work, he was still all yours; that's why it took you long enough to notice it.

Every evening, he came back with the same hunger he felt, only this time, he didn't seem to have felt that hunger for you per se, more like a desire within that needed to have you to help him relieve it.

He took you every single night, he gave you pleasure, simple, raw, indifferent pleasure. You didn't actually remember the last time you actually made love, because everytime Joel touched you, he always had you on your hands and knees for him, always fucking you on your back. At the time you thought it was just some kink or something like that, but now it was pretty clear to you it was just the easiest way for Joel to close his eyes and pretend you were someone else.

It was just simply fucking, a means to get to an end.

Then, he began getting home later and later, sometimes he would be too late for dinner, or he would just skip it entirely. Never explaining exactly what he was doing or why he was spending less and less time at home.

"Sorry babe, just had a sandwich with the guys"

That's what he would say before shrugging and going straight to the bedroom; not taking his time to actually see you'd cooked his favorite or that you were starving because you'd waited for him until that hour. The weekends weren't different at all, at first, right after you two got married, you'd spend the entire day in bed, just enjoying each other's company, each other's bodies and love; caresses full of affection carried with lust, turned into nothing more than just a memory some months later. Every weekend Joel simply got up, had breakfast and told you he was heading for work; and he would spend the entire day there, no phone calls to let you know he wouldn't be back for lunch nor calls to tell you he would grab a few drinks with the guys.

Always the guys, and as much as you tried to convince yourself it was indeed just one drink, or a burger, or a soccer match with the guys, your heart was sending you signals, trying to warn you there was something seriously wrong. Yet, you chose not to believe it, you told yourself it was actually kind of cruel of you to have such thoughts about your poor hard-working husband. What kind of wife would you be if you became paranoid while Joel was just working hard to provide you a good life?!

Joel was so busy with his work he barely even noticed when you asked for a double shift on Saturdays. Not that you liked working at the mall, but if you were going to stay alone all the time, you figured you would at least earn some money. Maybe Joel was just stressed about having to put up with the bills all by himself, you reminded yourself. Perhaps things would be back at what they were in the beginning, you were now marking six months of marriage and you knew this wasn't supposed to be happening. Your husband wasn't supposed to be that uninterested in you, he wasn't supposed to be indifferent towards your presence or so ungrateful, and yet you decided to fight for his love, after all, you loved him more than anything, more than anyone, it was an overwhelming feeling but you simply couldn't move on from it.

You waited for Joel another night, you'd made dinner, but of course he said he wasn't very hungry because he had grabbed a bite to eat with the guys.

Your heart clenched, he didn't kiss you, nor held you, it was like you were two different people sharing the same house; not lovers, not husband and wife, perhaps not even friends anymore. It felt each time more and more empty next to Joel, but you tried. You sat down and had dinner on your own, as he glued himself to the TV, watching whatever it was on. You knew him enough to know his mind was drifting away, thinking of something or someone, you weren't sure, the only thing you were a hundred percent sure was that he did everything at his willpower so he wouldn't have to spend time with you. It hurt, like a knife piercing through your chest, it was humiliating and you still didn't know why you were insisting. You swallowed after dinner and walked to the couch, he was nearly asleep and you ran your hands through his hair, feeling how soft his curls were; you had missed dearly times like that, it had been only a few months prior and yet, it felt like an eternity. The way your Joel would come to you, crave your touch, and just overall pay attention to you, unlike the haunting reality that you had to face, in which your husband simply began to ignore you, as if you weren't much more than a shadow, or an invisible and yet quite annoying presence. You looked down at his sleepy and peaceful form, he always looked so young and innocent when he slept it always warmed your heart.

The tip of your fingers ran through his scalp once more, he had always loved that particular display of affection. Minutes passed while you stroked his hair, you could feel Joel shifting softly under your touch, satisfied groans coming out like purrs as he began to slowly open his eyes

"Angela.." he murmured under his breath, but it was loud enough for you to catch it.

At that moment you felt as if you'd lost all balance, gripping the couch and staring at him in disbelief

"Who's Angela?" Your voice suddenly loud and serious, making Joel snap away from the sleeping haze he was in and stare into your eyes. He was carefully not to give it away immediately

"What are you talking about?" He got up from the couch, determined to turn his back to you

"You said a name. Angela, who's she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N, stop being crazy"

Your blood boiled at the accusation.

For months all you did was try to be the perfect housewife, you cooked, cleaned, worked and brought home the little money you made in order to win back your husband's attention, not only that, you didn't want to have to give away to everyone who told you you would be making a mistake by marrying so young. It had been so difficult to actually admit to yourself your marriage was at a risk, and now you just had enough proof. After months of indifference, your husband was now mumbling another woman's name; as if it wasn't bad enough, he was trying to make the tables turn by accusing you of being crazy. That was so typical of men, but not of your Joel, you thought he would never do that, you were so sure he was honest, honorable, a decent human being, he wouldn't hurt you on purpose in order to prove his point. Or so you thought.

"Don't you fucking dare call me crazy, Joel Miller, for the past couple of months you haven't given a shit about me, you're never home, you never spend time with me, you don't hug me, don't kiss me, you don't even fuck me anymore, and now you are mumbling someone else's name? Who's she? Is she your mistress? How long have you been with her?"

Again, you tried being strong, you really did, but your voice cracked, and the tears threatening to escape now ran freely down your cheeks, he'd walked away from you, but you managed to corner him in the kitchen, you were tired of being blinded by your own feelings, at the same time you were tired of being played by Joel, he had no right to act that way.

"Answer me, Joel!!! Who's the fucking whore?!" You yelled at him, the impatience and anxiety creating an explosive combination inside of you. You were so close to solving the mystery that haunted you at the same time you didn't wanna hear any further word. You just wished you could close your eyes and make all that away, you wish you could just wake up and see the last couple of months were nothing but a nightmare and that you still had the same good old loving Joel Miller as the best husband in the world; instead, he simply groaned, rubbing his face and looked down, not having the courage of look at you in the eyes.

"She's not a whore, don't call her that. I-We.. we're in love. I met her at work, she's the receptionist there and we hit it off… she's gorgeous, funny and I fell for her" he swallowed not sure where the strength to be honest with you about his feelings was coming from, but it was enough to make eye contact "I've never cheated on you, Y/N, I haven't slept with her yet, I haven't even kissed her, but I think she's the one, I wanna be with her, I'm not gonna lie to you anymore"

"You don't love me anymore?" That was all you could ask, out of all the cruel and raw information he suddenly threw on you, the only thing you could register was the lack of feelings from the man who swore to love you forever one day.

"Jesus, Y/N, let's not do this now" he groaned, wanting to shift all that anger towards you, somehow blaming you for what happened so he wouldn't be consumed by his own guilt. He wasn't blind, he knew you loved him, he knew you waited at the door for him every single day, with dinner ready a pie in the oven and giving you those sad, heart eyes in hopes of receiving his affection once more. You reminded him of a puppy, as bad as it sounded, all it took you to be happy was a crumble of his love. What angered Joel was that you weren't satisfied with just crumbles, you wanted more and more from him, and he was unavailable; he simply couldn't give it to you, because his heart belonged to someone else. He hadn't planned on that happening, if it were up to him, he would've honored the vows he took on his wedding day, but Angela walked into his life without a warning and swept him off his feet. He couldn't stay with you out of pity, you deserved to be happy and so did you, but you weren't meant to be together.

"Do you love me or not, Joel?! Did you even love me?" Another grunt from his lips, you were so frustrated you didn't know how to rationalize, how to wrap your head around the fact he proposed to you, he had promised you the world and yet now he was treating you as if you had never mattered to him. His cowardice made you sick, he wasn't even man enough to look you in the eyes, you felt so angry a part of you was glad his body blocked your access to the silverware set because if you got your hands into it you knew at that moment you were willing to make a mistake. You gripped his shirt, slapping his chest and scratching him in a sloppy way, demanding answers from him. He could stop you at any moment, Joel was bigger and stronger than you, but he let you have your moment of hurting him out of pity, before calming gripping your arms and pushing you away

"I guess it's obvious I don't love you anymore, I love Angela, it's not my fault, it just happened, but I'm sure I want to be with her, you and I can't keep lying to ourselves, you can't keep lying to yourself, we're over, just as the love I felt from you, it's over…"

•••

You didn't remember much more after that. Some flashes of the following days, where the initial shock was still going strong, the waves of sadness mixed with anger, how Joel gathered some of his clothes and left the house that same night - probably to go to Angela's, how you refused to eat for the couple of days, you didn't talk to anyone, just spent your time alternating between crying yourself to sleep and actually sleeping, were just moments of blur. At some point you remember Tommy - Joel's brother checking up on you just to make sure you were alright. Tommy was the youngest of the Miller brothers, he was said to be the inconsequential one, but he would never do what his older brother had done.

Only after a few days Joel stopped by the house you once had shared, he had heard from his brother the pitiful mess you'd become because of him, and though a part of him didn't have the courage to ever face you again, another part - a more honorable one - insisted on it because he had to give you some kind of explanation. So after work, he didn't drive to Angela's like he'd been doing for the last few days, becoming his sweet routine and bringing so much joy now that he was free to love her just as much as she wanted to love him. Instead of going to his happy place, Joel drove back to the house that used to be his home for a while, a place where he'd been happy but it hadn't been enough for him. It was funny how he expected things to be drastically different, because his life had taken a dramatic turn just as yours had, and yet, things were just the same, or they appeared to be at least. He got off his truck, seeing that not a lot had changed, but this time there wasn't music coming from the house, it didn't smell like fresh cooked dinner, simply the living room with the lights on were the only thing that showed there was still someone in the house.

When he walked in, he expected to see you crying, depressed and begging him to get back, but much to his surprise, all your bags were already nearly packed and though it was visible you'd had some rough time by dark circles under your eyes and how pale your skin was, you welcomed him with a emotionless expression on your face, pointing at the couch, so he would take a seat and you could talk things through. After all the crying and suffering, you felt as if something had clicked and suddenly you went from heartbroken to numb. You knew the swirl of feelings would come and go, but taking advantage of your numbness, you put your head into place as best as you could and packed all your things, you didn't want to stay at that place surrounded by Joel memories, knowing he'd left the place you once called home and you were both so happy and also so unhappy in a short span of time. You wanted to put yourself back together, heal from him, forget he ever existed, go back to studying and focus on yourself only. But for that to happen, you wanted closure, not only wanting, you needed closure.

His low apologies combined with the rambling that came out of Joel's mouth was getting on your nerves, why couldn't he man up and actually tell you what he needed to in order to finally close that chapter in your lives.

"If you're not getting straight to the point, I will, Joel… I packed my bags, I am leaving this house, it's yours, your family managed to help you with it and I wouldn't feel comfortable living here. I'll go to college as soon as the next semester starts and I'll be waiting for the divorce papers, sign it as soon as possible, and pretend this never happened"

"Wait… what?! You want to divorce?!" Joel was quite shocked, not that he didn't want to divorce, because he did, so he could finally be officially with Angela, but he didn't think it would be that easy for you to agree, let alone be the one suggesting it.

You laughed. It was a dry, ironic laughter, because honestly, you didn't think Joel was that much of a dick, it was fascinating how he broke your heart and he still found a way to have his ego bruised by the fact you wouldn't accept being in a submission position, that you wouldn't cry and beg for him.

"What did you expect Joel?! That I would stay here, legally married to you, cooking and washing your dirty underwear while you go out of the door and keep cheating on me with that whore? Seriously? That's how low you think of me?"

"I already told you she isn't a whore and I have never cheated on you, that's why I want to divorce, us getting married was clearly a mistake and it's not my fault if I don't love you anymore.."

"So whose fault is it? Mine?! Do you really think what you did isn't cheating, Joel? Just because you hadn't fucked her while we were still together, but you had spent time with her, emotionally connected with her, fuck, just the fact you let her get closer to you even though you were married, that's cheating! You say it isn't because you don't want to feel guilty, but deep down inside you just know it is! I agree with you on one thing, though: our marriage was a stupid mistake, because of you I delayed a whole year of my life, I almost sacrificed my future because I really took your words and believed them, that we would be together, I never thought out of all the people in the world, you would be the one to hurt me! I trusted you, do you even know how many times I cried and sulked because I blamed myself for your behavior? The amount of times I felt guilty for even remotely considering the possibility of you having someone else? Because in my mind you'd always been the perfect husband and yet, you were backstabbing me day after day, with that slut!"

"Don't you fucking call her a slut! She's not a slut, she's not a whore! It's not her fault if you are a petty envious woman!"

"She is a slut Joel, I'm sure of it, because if she had any decency she wouldn't have come closer to a married man, my husband! She is probably excited about the thrill, but I'm certain that once the reality hits and she sees herself locked inside having to carry out chores everyday, take care of the house, the husband and even the kids if you two ever come to it, it's not gonna be as fun, and then you'll meet her for real. I don't wish you anything bad, but god help you if you ever have to face a disappointment as big as mine"

You dried your tears and began removing your wedding ring, it was quite pricey taking into account how complicated your financial situation was. You intended to return it to him, but the mere thought of maybe Joel taking the ring and handing it to his former mistress and soon-to-be official girlfriend, was enough to make you nauseated. You gave up removing it and left the ring right there.

"I'm leaving this place tomorrow, you can send the divorce papers over to my parents' and I hope I'll never see you again, Joel"

•••

You wished you could say that was the last time you ever saw Joel Miller in your life, but unfortunately, things weren't too easy for you. Only two months before you could finally enter college and forget about the disastrous year you had, you were working double shifts at the mall, in hopes of saving a decent amount of money for yourself. It was supposed to be another lazy evening, in which you would have to kill time until you could go home, you had just had your break and as you walked back into the store, you couldn't help but pay attention to your left hand. The wedding ring still there. It brought you shame and embarrassment, the mere fact you left it there. You often lied to people and to yourself by saying it was a way of keeping disrespectful customers away, but the truth was, you just didn't know why it was so hard to do it. It felt like a weight you couldn't get rid of, a part of your life that seemed like nothing but delusion.

You were scared of removing that ring, it was a sign that Joel wouldn't be much more than a memory to you, and even if you knew that was exactly what you needed, your heart still yearned for him. It wasn't fair, to still love the person who had hurt you the most, burying deep those feelings but also knowing they were there was nerve wracking.

You were ready to get back to work, just about to enter the store you were so used to spending your whole day when you felt paralyzed.

"What do you think of this one, darling? Do you think our baby will like it?"

It was Joel's voice.

His voice.

Darling.

Our baby.

You stopped yourself right there, too far away from their distracted eyes, taking in all the colorful and beautiful options they had before them, but also close enough so you could actually hear the conversation. Joel Miller was going to be a dad, it was a fact, you weren't having a nightmare that you were about to wake up in cold sweat at any minute, instead, he was there, with her, the woman he dumped you for, the woman who was now carrying his child. Under the shelves you'd been hiding, you could only catch a glimpse of her baby bump, and the way Joel's hand rested over it in a protective way. It was enough to make your stomach upset, your eyes burning with the tears that once more insisted on appearing. He had moved on from you, much faster than you had moved on from him; their happiness could be beautiful to anyone, but to you it was disgusting, infuriating, they had no right to come to your place of work and be so glad about life itself.

You couldn't actually see Angela's face, all you were able to watch from where you stood was Joel's hand on her womb, his right one, but the moment he rested his left one on her waist, you gasped softly. The wedding ring was gone.

Joel wasn't feeling that comfortable about being at that particular store, though it was the only decent baby clothing store at the mall, he knew you worked there or at least used to; but Angela wanted new baby stuff and he was going to be a dad, so it was his duty to take her and help her sort things out. He thought of you, not having seen you or listened to your voice in months he sort of missed you? He couldn't lie to himself, he was glad to be divorced, he was happy in a relationship with a baby on the way, but you'd been important to him too, he wished things didn't have to end the way they did, he has gotten used to living with you, seeing you, kissing you, touching you, it was natural that he missed the dynamics you two had established. A part of him sort of wanted to run into you at the store, he wanted to see how you were doing, if you were taking good care of yourself, but it was a relief to everyone you weren't there. It would be just awkward and embarrassing to be baby clothes shopping in front of you. And of course, he never wanted to hurt you more than he had already done it, but you would have probably interpreted it as provocation.

He scratched down his head while Angela picked all her favorites, Joel tried hard not to pay attention to the price tags, money was still a delicate matter for the two of them, but he had managed to get some by selling his wedding ring. Of course the pair would've been worth a lot more, but he couldn't go after you to ask for your ring, so he just negotiated his own and took the money. It wasn't the ideal situation, but in a few months they'd welcome the tiny little person that would become the most important thing in Joel's life.

You were too hurt to continue watching their display of happiness, you turned your back to the place you were hiding and you returned to the small break room. That was indeed the last time you'd seen Joel Miller; that was it until you also met someone who brought chaos but also colors into your life.

•••

"Aren't you too old to sell cookies door to door for school?" Joel asked while chewing his scrambled eggs and slurped his coffee, watching as his daughter rolled her eyes at him

"Aren't you too old not to eat your vegetables?" She snapped back at him in their usual morning routine.

Sarah was a teenager, much to Joel's sadness, as he still had serious attachments to when she was younger. He knew it was part of life, and watching her blossoming into a beautiful young girl made him proud and hopeful about the future, he knew his sweet Sarah would go far. But that also made him scared, because no matter how irrational it was, Sarah always reminded him of you; and he knew that if any guy ever dared to do to his baby girl, what he did to you, he would be really to kill him in no time. Joel Miller would like to think he had improved a lot as a human being, after all, he wasn't a young man anymore, he was a full grown adult, who had to get himself together and mature after he was abandoned by his girlfriend with a newborn baby. Life was full of irony and he was one to witness it, being left by the woman he loved and trusted a little more than a year after he was the one who walked away from someone who loved and trusted him. It was what everyone said: karma is really a bitch.

Through the years, Joel really felt an urge to call you, perhaps ask you to meet him, so you could catch up and he could finally apologize to you, but he had lost all contact with you. In fact he had no idea what you were up to through the decades, the few times your parents ran into him on the street or at the grocery store and made sure to ignore his presence and pretend they'd never met. He just couldn't approach them and ask for your phone number. Besides, what would he even tell you?

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you the woman I left you for also left me, so now I'm a lonely single dad and I realized I took you for granted and maybe if you ain't busy, we could go for a cup of coffee or something?!"

It would be just straight up stupid, not to mention he was sure you would've found someone nice, someone worthy of you, probably you'd be married by then, perhaps you'd have a kid or two, and he was sure you'd be an amazing mother, because he just knew you were an amazing wife, and he was the only one to blame for not treating you the way you deserved it.

So Joel decided it was best if he pretended nothing ever happened just like you did with him, of course destiny had other plans.

He gave Sarah a ride to school and went to work. It would be another busy day, like all of his days, in which he would work hard in order to save as much money as he could, wanting to assure his daughter the future she deserved. For Sarah, it meant another day of classes and selling cookies. She didn't like the activity, but she didn't hate it either. In fact, on that particular day she felt kind of excited as she was about to head towards the 'good' part of the neighborhood, where most houses were big and seemed expensive. Getting her backpack and her stash of goodies to sell, she left home and went on with her day.

You, on the other hand, hadn't planned on coming back to Austin so soon, as the years turned into a decade, and then a little bit more than that, you had dedicated yourself fully to your academic and professional life, focusing on yourself only, managing to bury deep your memories of Joel and never paying attention to anything remotely close to a love life.

Yes, you'd had relationships, affairs, and you'd been with a few guys: one of them was Javier, he was a handsome but very slutty cop who you had a no-string relationship with; it was good for a while, he was handsome, sexy and he fucked like no other, but he had a taste for women that unabled himself to keep it inside of his pants. You liked the freedom, but that was too much.

You also dated a guy named Dave for a brief period, he was nice, also painfully handsome, a tiny bit mysterious about his high profile government job, but he wanted a family, not just another relationship. He wanted marriage and kids, and you were just out of it in no time. The last straw was when you were traveling back home and during one stop for dinner at a small, cozy bar, a guy dressed entirely in cowboy attire came onto you. It was the undeniable proof you weren't made for relationships at all; it was like Joel Miller had casted a spell, or worse, a curse on you: it had become impossible for you to be in a relationship. Still, that wasn't your main concern, not more than why you had to move back to Austin after all those years shifting from New York to Boston, Texas and even a brief period in Spain which led you into an affair with another guy named Javier, but well, that was definitely another story. You'd simply got a phone call from your parents talking about a family emergency and once you had asked for a leave, your boss had mentioned the opportunity of you working for the Austin branch, it was a promising one, with a lot of chances of career growth and becoming the head of the office would actually come in handy, so you had no other option than say yes and pack your stuff. When you got back to Texas, despite the suffocating heat, you were also welcomed with suffocating news of your grandmother's passing, and a couple of weeks later, the news she'd left you a house in the suburbs, a real good area with many families, easy traffic and a lot of space. Having become an apartment person over the years, you first thought it was so odd to live in a house, especially by yourself. Everything seemed so big but now you didn't have to worry about having to clean it all, being able to afford someone to do so, you found your way by decorating everything exactly the way you liked it, using the spare rooms to build your home office, your closet space and a guest room, you slowly turned grandma's house into your own. However, the exterior still bothered you: there was a great space in the backyard, but the swimming pool was empty and dirty, and you could definitely have a barbecue area built so you could welcome your friends and family on weekends. As it wasn't your priority, you didn't bother so much about it, turning your attention to settling into your new office first.

•••

"Oh, hi ma'am, I'm selling cookies to help our school fund, would you be interested?" Sarah displayed a wide grin, hoping that would soften up the very annoyed looking old woman who opened the door. She noticed how the old lady looked at her up and down and just groaned a 'no' before practically slamming the door shut. Sarah sighed and shook her head, and there she was thinking the people who lived in the wealthier part of the neighborhood were more generous, but apparently they were just a bunch of snobbish cunts. Her stomach growled in hunger as she walked some more, she knew she should've eaten before going to sell the cookies, but she didn't have time at that moment. She insisted some more, knocking on another door, having no clue she was actually knocking on her father's ex-wife's door.

Sighing tiredly as you closed your laptop, you looked around and focused on what you would do next. You knew you needed to go grocery shopping soon, but you just didn't feel like driving to the store and pick up vegetables, so instead, you left your study and went to the living room, getting comfortable on the couch and groaning slightly the moment the doorbell rang. You were just so comfortable on the couch, you considered ignoring whoever was on the other side of the door, but for some reason, a slight wave of guilt made its presence and you obliged to answer whoever was disturbing you.

"Hello! My name's Sarah Miller and we're selling cookies for the school fund, would you be interested?" The smiley girl repeated her memorized speech the moment you open the door, she discreetly watched you, seeing you didn't seem so closed like the woman from the previous house, but still she wasn't sure if you were friendly, not when you stared at her with a seemingly shocked look.

Miller.

Her name was Miller.

Your heart raced and lost track of what she was saying, knowing you desperately needed to get your shit back together; Miller wasn't an uncommon name at all, quite the opposite, you had met a few people who also coincidentally had the same last name as your ex-husband, so your reaction to the girl's name was just absurd. Maybe it was because you were back in Austin, where everything happened, but then again, you reminded yourself Joel wasn't the only person named Miller in Texas.

"I-I'm sorry… I got distracted but yeah, I'll take two boxes" you smiled at the girl, she was a teenager, a very pretty one, she was pretty good at expressing herself though she looked exhausted and sweaty.

"Would you like to drink some water?" You offered her, feeling sorry for her at the realization she had probably been walking under the sunlight for quite some time. Sarah didn't think twice before nodding eagerly as she stepped inside, dragging her school bag and her cookie cart along. You let her in, finding sweet how she looked all over the place, taking in the different details from your home and enjoying that environment.

You guided her to the kitchen, getting her a tall glass of iced water, frowning at the fact she wasn't following you anymore. Instead, she stood in front of your bookshelf, looking at it up and down, trying to take in as many titles as she could. Sarah would love to have her own bookshelf like that, she loved reading ever since she was a little girl and though she used the school's library a lot, she thought the idea of having her own things was appealing, but she understood her dad couldn't simply splurge on books for her whenever she wanted to.

"Do you like books?" You asked her, walking closer and handing her the glass of water, which she killed with only a few gulps.

"Have you read all of them?!" Her surprised voice made you chuckle, she was such a sweet girl, you had no idea why you instantly liked her, but you did.

"Well, not all of them… I've just bought some of them and I haven't had the time yet, why? Did any of them interest you?"

"Well…" she said shyly and hesitantly ran her fingers through them, only pulling one out to read the description at your encouraging nod. "This one seems nice…"

"It is nice… do you want it? You can take it!" You smiled at how she blinked a little confused but nodded, so thankful for your kindness. Even if she didn't know you, Sarah already liked you. She smiled at the book and placed the glass down.

"Have you had lunch?" She shook her head shyly and you smiled "come on, I'll make you a sandwich…"

For the next hour, you and Sarah talked about several things: she told you about her school, her interests and how much she loved reading. She had assured you she would return you the book as soon as she finished it and you assured her she could borrow as many as she would like. She also briefly talked about her family, mentioning she lived with her dad on the other side of the neighborhood and you told her a little bit more about yourself.

She widened her eyes the moment she saw what time it really was, and quickly grabbed her backpack and the book you'd lent her, thank you several times as she walked towards the door "go before your mom gets worried about you" you told her without much thinking, but she shrugged "mom's not around… I live with my dad only, but it was really nice meeting you, Y/N"

•••

And for the next month, at least once a week you'd get a visit from Sarah. It had become a habit of hers to just stop by, spend a couple of hours with you, return you the book she'd borrowed the week before and get a new one. She didn't talk much about her family, it was mostly about school, friends and boy crushes and books. You were kind of suspicious she was missing a feminine figure, since she briefly told you her mom left a couple of months after she was born without looking back, you picked up the hint she wasn't open to talk about it yet, and you respected it. You were glad you unexpectedly got a new friend, a very young friend, and at first you thought it was kind of odd, until you realized she sort of resembled a daughter figure to you. After all, if you had had children with Joel, your child would be around Sarah's age.

Joel also thought it was kind of weird his daughter made an adult friend, he was well aware of how dangerous things were in the world, especially for young, innocent girls like Sarah, but when she told him her new friend was a woman, single, childless woman, who was nice, definitely had some money but also seemed quite lonely, he assumed she was one of those old cat lady kind of women; in his mind, his daughter's mysterious friend was probably a widow, who didn't have any kids and now had to approach random people for attention so she wouldn't be alone all the time. If only he knew how wrong he was, he would've asked your name, but he didn't. And he also knew he should've done it, perhaps even asked for your phone number so he could call you in case of god forbid, an emergency. But he worked so hard, not only that, he was going through a very stressful period too, so he didn't pay as much attention as he should have towards several things.

Sarah had become acquainted with several aspects of your life, from the time you spent together in your weird version of a book club. Mostly the conversations were about her and the struggles she often faced as a teenager, but sometimes you let out information, plans or complaints here and there. It wasn't different the day you were very displeased with how your backyard was looking; it had potential to be a beautiful place but it needed fixing and remodeling. Perhaps it'd been the stress at work, but for whatever reason the way that place looked was bothering you and making you cranky, if any other given day you wouldn't give a crap about it, but at that moment you did, and not only that, you mentioned it to Sarah, who tried to be useful and told you she could ask her dad to take a look at it, after all, he was in the business and could help you with it. You said yes and told her you'd be expecting the two of them on Saturday morning. Only when the girl had left happily carrying another book in hands, was that you realized that maybe, and just maybe, you should've asked her father's name.

•••

"So, you're really sure this friend of yours wants to get some stuff remodeled? And that she can afford it?" Joel glanced at Sarah before focusing again on the street as he drove to her new friend's house. He wasn't truly convinced you would actually want to hire his services, it just seemed too good to be true. He held back a smile at the way Sarah rolled her eyes at him, she'd told him hundreds of times that yes, you needed someone to repair and remodel the backyard, if anything, he could at least indicate you someone who could provide the service you were looking for.

"Fine, let's help the old lady then" he grunted at the same time his daughter turned to him "what old lady?!"

"Your friend… isn't she old? I mean, she's lonely and she lets you hang out… I thought she'd be like our neighbor an-"

"Dad, she's younger than you, I think! And she's pretty too…"

At that information Joel was more curious about you. Why was a pretty young woman all alone and willing to be friends with a girl who could roughly be her kid's age?! Were you really pretty? And did you really want your backyard remodeled or was Sarah playing matchmaker? He really hoped she wasn't, otherwise he would be very angry. Joel didn't need a new relationship, he didn't want to, having failed the two major ones he had in his life, the first one being so immature and cruel to his sweet young wife and the second one he didn't exactly where he screwed up, perhaps he had just been naive and thought the woman who wanted nothing more than just some fun was actually willing to build a life with, or maybe he wanted her to take over your place, after all, you'd set the bar pretty high for Angela when it came on being a dedicated housewife. The raw fact was that Joel was alone all those years later, his first wife was hopefully living her best years with someone who truly deserved her and Angela was God knows where but he didn't give a single fuck. She'd been dead to him from the moment she walked out of his door, denying her own baby, and all that passion he felt turned into hurt and anger. Unlike the feelings he had for you: as the years passed and he grew older, he thought of several times he could've treated you better than he did, he thought of how he would have tried not hurting you as much as he did, even if the situation the two of you were was tricky, he often fantasized about a version of your marriage where he hadn't ruined everything, where he had been honest without being cruel, without playing with your feelings, he didn't know if it was just his conscious weighing heavily on him or what, but he always thought of you with affection and love. At that time he was sure he didn't love you anymore, the passion he felt for the other woman was too intense, too much, it blinded and deafened him from everything around, everything that mattered the most to him at the time. But all those years later, Joel was sure the love for you was still there, perhaps it was just hidden away, or it got stuck under all that shit that went on, still, he didn't know who you had become, what you looked like or where you were at that moment, so it was a fairly assumption he was still in love with a memory and nothing more than that.

"Fine, so what's her name after all?" He questioned his daughter after some moment of silence but before she could answer, Joel parked his truck in front of your home.

You heard the engine and you went to the window, checking the unknown car parked in front of your place and though you couldn't actually see them inside, you knew it was Sarah and her dad. Just as you went to the door, he exited the car, his back to the entrance as you walked to them and greeted Sarah, at the sound of your voice he immediately turned around and the two of you froze in time as you watched each other there.

Joel.

You felt as if you were trapped in a weird dream, the ones you know you are just dreaming and yet you can't move or speak, just taking the role of the audience of a bizarre picture that formed before your eyes. Joel on the other hand, stared at you in complete silence, you couldn't really read him, it was impossible to know what was going on in his mind, in his heart, you could just feel his eyes roaming over your body, taking all the image of you as if he was trying to make sure you were actually what he saw in front of him. He couldn't believe it, after all those years, after everything he did to you, you were there, beautiful as you'd always been, even more so, the fancy lifestyle really suited you, he could tell by your clothes, your nails perfectly done, your hair looking gorgeous and styled nicely, you had succeeded, you had had a life he knew he could never provide you, and for that he felt kind of relieved, at least one good thing came out of your divorce: the chance of you having the success you deserved it, you weren't that housewife who needed to still work part time at the mall, you were above that now, and Joel was so damn proud of you for it.

"I-I.. yo-"

"Nice to meet you, you must be Sarah's dad" you interrupted him before he could say your name and extended your hand to him, pretending you'd just met. He was confused but you tilted your head very discreetly towards his daughter, being sure she didn't know anything that had happened between the both of you. He immediately picked up the hint and introduced himself, as if you were meeting for the first time. His hand engulfed yours like it always did, Joel Miller had always had big and strong hands, surely they got calloused through the years, but you knew damn well what they were capable of doing to you. He was older, looking more handsome than you thought he would, he aged like a fine wine, streaks of silver here and there but the majority of his hair still dark and soft like always, he was bigger too, he was stronger, broad and grew several muscles, all of it a result of years of hard-working. No matter if he had broken your heart, there was no denying he was an extremely attractive man.

He appreciated how heartfelt you were towards his daughter and gladly followed you inside once you invited him into the backyard to discuss what could be done. Sarah was right behind the two of you, but you turned to her, smiling big

"I went to the bookstore yesterday and I think you might enjoy what I bought, wanna take a look at it? They're all in the living room" you suggested to her who nodded and happily went after the books.

Once you and Joel got into the backyard, he stuttered some apologies but you immediately cut him off.

"I don't want apologies Joel, I didn't know Sarah was your daughter and I probably wouldn't have let her in if I knew who she was, but now I got attached to her and I hope our situation isn't going to prevent us from being friends" you told him honestly and watched as he nodded

"You know, her mom, Angela, she left us and I'm very sorry I left you for her.. "

"I don't wanna hear it, Joel. As I said, I don't wanna hear it about her mom or the apologies or anything at all, I mean, Sarah told me what happened and it's enough, you and I aren't together anymore, we're better off without each other, so let's just overcome this part and focus on the job I need you to do…"

"You know, I can indicate you another contractor to do it for you, so it won't be weird…"

"No, you can do it, unless you are feeling uncomfortable but other than that, I'd rather you do it, besides, Sarah would find it awkward"

And like that, Joel got into his professional mood and the two of you discussed the project you had in mind, hiring his services, he told you he could start the next Monday and he would take care of it himself, to make sure things would go according to your wishes. He noticed you didn't wear any commitment rings, nor there were pictures of you and any guy indicating a relationship and in his heart, the hope of perhaps taking you out for a coffee and getting to know you, the woman you'd become after those years, after growing mature and changing your life completely, growing in his heart. It was a fair assumption Joel had an immediate crush on you, the feelings he held within, were now blossoming more, at how beautiful, intelligent and attractive you were and suddenly, the roles were reversed: if more than ten years ago you had it bad for him, now he was the one who felt like a sick love puppy towards you.

The first week of working wasn't so bad at all, Joel would arrive at yours earlier than you expected and would start working. You didn't stay around much, letting him do his job while you were probably working in the living room or any other part of the house whenever you didn't have to go to work per se. He tried making small talk during some of his breaks and since you didn't see any harm in it, you chatted briefly, that was how he'd learned what you did for a living, where you'd been after you left Austin, and stuff like that. He told you some things about his life, mostly about how it'd been the experience of raising a child on his own, but whenever he got near bringing up your past or trying to apologize, you'd cut up any kind of interaction with him. At the end of the day you and him had nothing but a professional relationship. He understood your reasons, and yet, he hoped you would find at least a small breach in your heart to let him in, he really hoped he could show you he was a better man now, that he could be suitable for you, and yet, you kept yourself all the way distant and protecting yourself from him.

So it became a very common scene to always escape from Joel, moving seats or rooms whenever he was around, you didn't know how else to act, what he expected from you. It wasn't like you were old buddies catching up after years in a long-distance relationship. And he always got displeased.

It was about the third week of working at your house, he asked if he could use your kitchen to have lunch, heating up the food he'd eat, you smiled at yourself as you were taken back by the memories of times where you would prepare him lunches and send it in his lunchbox, how you would worry about him being hungry so you would always make sure there was something fresh out of the oven for him to nibble on as soon as he got home from work and chuckled softly, shaking your head and excusing yourself. He'd thought you would at least have lunch next to him, but you weren't willing to do that at all, and that both pained and pissed him off.

"Would it kill you to spend time with me? Look at me? Or act like a human being instead of being all stiff like a robot whenever I'm around?" He asked, breaking the silence, you could see he was frustrated and that puzzled you to no end.

"What are you talking about, Joel?!"

"You don't talk to me, Y/N, I try making small talk, you don't answer me, you don't even look at me, suddenly I'm not worth your time? You're too good to even acknowledge I am next to you?"

"Do you really want to talk about not being worth someone's time? Really Joel? I thought you had grown up during all these years but I can see you are just the same shallow fuckboy who gets pissed off when you see I'm not crawling towards you…"

"Stop being unfair to me! All I'm trying to do is to show you I've changed, I am a better man, a better person, I'm not that same immature Joel you met so many years ago, I'm trying to make you see I'm a new man…" he went from angry to desperate, you took a step closer and looked into his eyes, not breaking the eye contact for one second.

"I know Joel, I know you've changed… you've grown into this hardworking man, this amazing father, I can see it, I hear it every time Sarah comes over, but you don't have to try too hard, it's not gonna change anything… You and I are two different people, we have nothing to do with each other anymore"

"You can't say that, I want you to see we could try it again, I still love you, Y/N!"

"Joel, we'll never try it again, the marks of your betrayal still linger here, all over me, forgetting you was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I don't want to ever feel it again. You don't love me, Joel. You love the idea of me, of picking up the shattered parts of your broken life and making it right, you love the thought of building up a family, of giving your daughter the mom she deserves, and it's all because it didn't work out with that woman. We both know it… if she hadn't left you wouldn't even be thinking of me" you looked down, trying to hold back a tear that insisted on falling, but failing at that matter. "I wasn't good enough to be by your side, to build a family with you, you can't just expect me to throw myself into your arms as if nothing had happened, what exactly do you think would happen between us in the first place? I'd be waiting for you every single night with dinner ready? Those days were over, Joel…" you sniffed and he sighed, placing his hand on his waist.

"Give me a chance, go on a date with me, please… before you say no, just think about it, of what we could have together… please! You don't have to answer me now, think about it and when I finish the job, you can tell me your answer"

•••

The following weeks were as normal as they could be; you hadn't told Joel yes but you hadn't told him no either and even if it pained you to admit it, you sometimes thought of his proposition. Sarah was still coming over, your bond was now stronger, you really liked each other and despite everything that happened, you were thankful Joel wasn't against your friendship. You two had agreed on not telling her anything about your shared past at the moment, but in case you two decided she needed to know it for whatever reason, Joel would be the one to tell her, it would only make sense. You also thought about his words and you decided to be nicer to him, actually stopping to talk to him, or having lunch next to him instead of rushing away as fast as you could and in retribution, he stopped with the feelings talk. The deadline was coming to an end, as your backyard remodeling was getting prettier and prettier each passing day. It was odd and awkward and you wanted to get things over with as soon as possible at the same time a strange fascination with watching Joel caught you. It was hard to explain, but when the final day came, when Joel and his assistant showed you the word ready and done, and after you paid them the large wage you owed them for the services, your ex-husband asked to talk to you. He had hope in his eyes, he was wearing his flannel, and he'd combed his hair a little, which made him look painfully handsome, your heart clenched. Even before he could say anything, you already had your answer. He stood in front of you, baffled at the fact you threw your arms around his body, pulling him for a hug. His hands locked around your waist, strong grip not wanting to let go, while you sank into his warmth. He was your old Joel, the one you'd loved so deeply and broke your heart, but nonetheless your Joel.

Taking your hand to his face, you stroked it gently, feeling his beard scratching your palm a little and you smiled "I forgive you, Joel… I don't know if you wanted my forgiveness or not, but I forgive you anyway, I don't resent you anymore, what's gone, it's gone and now we can only focus on our future. I know that if I tried looking for a space in my heart, I would find it a part that still keeps all the love I felt for you, but we've changed, for the best and that teaches us we should never make the same mistakes from the past, so you do understand why we can't go on this date, right? We can't be together, I'm sorry Joel, but you know it's true… I just need one last thing from you…"

You told him, leaning towards him and pecking his lips. After all that time, it still felt like your favorite place in the world, your heart raced the moment he groaned into your mouth and his hands tightened his dominating grip on you. It was quite pathetic how he still had the same effect over you and if he hadn't hurt you as much as he did and condemned you two to a relationship based on lack of trust, perhaps you could even consider trying again. Forgiving and forgetting were different things, whereas you didn't resent him anymore, you hadn't forgotten about how broken he left your heart. You would never be able to trust him again, always worrying he had found someone better like he did once, you couldn't do that to yourself, you loved yourself too much to go back to Joel Miller. That last kiss you cherished, you would keep it in your memories, but it wouldn't go further than that. You and Joel were done for years and nothing would convince you otherwise.

____

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it 😭💔

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal imagine #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller tlou #tlou show #tlou fanfiction

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Severance - BTS OT7 CEO au Chapter 16

So did anybody guess what was on the news? I thought it was rather obvious (it’s getting harder and harder to find gifs I haven’t used)

Prev / Next

“Care to explain this Y/n,” Junmyeon says, reaching for the remote and pressing play.

You feel your world freeze, the newscasters lips moving but the thumping in your ears drowns her out. Footage after footage of your dates, the three maknaes and you at the airport, date stamped proving you played hooky, there was nothing you could say to disprove the videos, not when in every single one they steal a kiss.

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, not even a breath goes in, you’re stuck. You don’t see anything but the screen where the secret you so desperately wanted to keep was aired out for the world to witness. You don’t see Jongin desperately texting Jimin under the desk, what you do see is the channel cut to a newscaster introducing the last woman you ever expected to see, the shock filling your lungs with air so fast it makes you dizzy. Your eyes sting with tears as she starts talking, was this karma? Was this the universe telling you you made the wrong choice, that you should never have fallen for them, that you were too greedy for their love. Was this the price, the consequences? 

“I think she’s hyperventilating,” the voice sounds muffled, your ears feel like they're full of burning cotton but at least someone has the sense to turn the screen off. Baekhyun fills your vision instead, hands on your shoulders with worried eyes on your form. 

“Cars coming to pick her up, back entrance,” you recognise it's Jongin that’s speaking but the word’s go over your head. 

Someone hands you a tissue but you don’t register the gesture until you hear a sigh. Chanyeol gently wipes your tears away, the stern look on his face softening when you look up at him. The sound of the phone ringing sounds so distant, like it was at the end of the tunnel. Jongin answers it before handing it to Junmyeon.

“Namjoon,” he greets through the line, the sound of his tone cutting through the fog you were drowning in. Joonie, you wanted nothing more than to be buried in his arms away from all this, but he wasn’t here. Whatever he was saying though the line made your current boss stare at you with an accusation that didn’t budge.

“We need to get her out without any more commotion,” he says to the others stiffly after he cuts the call. 

“I’ll sort out the employees,” Kyungsoo states walking out. 

The silence that follows is palpable, the lead CEO breaks it with a sigh, and you know it’s due to the aftermath he would have to deal with because of your decisions. He moves to walk past you, but you grab his sleeve before he can. You try not to flinch under his stare, your hands trembling where they hold him. 

“I’m so sorry,” you say as sincerely as you can through a hoarse whisper. He acknowledges your words with a nod before he leaves. You’re quickly ushered to the corridor by the others, the sight of them shielding you like your own personal bodyguards would make you chuckle on any other day, but you were still shaking like a leaf. 

All that work, all those years of making something of yourself, all the sacrifices and it came to this. Your life exposed to the world in a way that would cause it ruin. Your future at e.xo was done, no other company would ever employ you, you could never go back to work for bangtan. Everything was gone. 

—

“Yeah we’re in the car, we got her out safe,” Seokjin says through the phone while Yoongi drives, his eyes glancing at you with worry. 

A question Namjoon asks on the phone had Jin tensing, looking at you hesitantly. Is she okay?

“She’s not saying anything, she’s just shaking,” he sighs, he wanted to say more, how you were staring at the floor despondently, how when Jin tried to hold your hand to comfort you, you tensed and turned away.

The fear in their hearts that you regretted everything you had with them made Jin pull away, all he could do was be grateful they got to you before the media did, and in the tinted vehicle you were at least safe. 

“It’s safe to go back to the mansion,” Jin tells Yoongi when he hangs up the call.

The drive is silent, they didn’t know what to say, everytime they tried the words died before they could form. Security was back in full force at their estate, running out any media outlet that tried to sneak close, their lawyers were having a field day. Not to mention the commotion at the office as they walked out, the whispers conjugated together so loud, not even Namjoon’s glare could silence them.

The gates open to the estate, and Yoongi can hear his heartbeat thumping faster and faster in his ears, it felt like they were coming to an impasse and there was no going back. The car slows to a stop, and as he kills the engine all they can do is stare at you.

Move. You had to move.

You could hear a faint commotion outside, the three maknaes running towards the car but a stern look from Yoongi stopped them in their tracks. Worry, anticipation, anxiety, no one knew exactly what concoction of emotions paralysed them, what made them hesitate to reach out to you.

“Kitten,” Yoongi starts softly, “you need to talk to us.”

That made you move, the door opening without a word in return. Your legs work against you, feeling like lead on twigs, a second away from collapsing. You couldn’t speak right now, your whole body felt empty and yet the weight of thoughts in your head made you need to bury it. You wanted your bed, you wanted to hide, and you wanted to be alone. 

Yoongi shares a look with Jin, the hurt flashing between both of them at your rejection but they try not to take it to heart. You never wanted your relationship with them made public, not yet at least, you weren’t ready for the backlash, but now the choice was taken from you in the most heinous way. 

“Noona,” Jungkook calls for you gently, a sadness in his eyes at the way you were walking with your head hanging low. Jimin holds him back, understanding better than anyone how you were feeling. He used to do the same, when something went wrong, when he made a mistake, he cut himself off from everyone, it would be a mistake to approach you until you were ready, until the voices in your head either broke you or quietened down. 

The steps to the front door took so much energy from you, you didn’t think you had any left. You could feel them walking behind you at a distance, and yet it didn’t feel far enough or close enough. Something inside of you was tearing its way out and you didn’t know if you wanted to be embraced through it or to suffer it alone the way you had before so many times. 

“Y/n,” Namjoon didn’t get the memo, he tries to embrace you but feels you stiffen against him, letting go immediately to look at your face with worry. “Baby girl, we'll fix this, okay? We-”

You push him away and he looks at you in shock, you didn’t want to hear it right now, you were barely holding yourself together. Voices were pounding inside of your head, the same repeated phrases over and over about how all your work was ruined, it was all for nothing, all your dreams, all your efforts. You couldn’t handle anything right now, you just needed your bed and to cry yourself to sleep alone. 

“Y/n talk to me,” Namjoon says sternly, brows knitted at the way you didn’t even look at him. 

He blocks your path when you try to walk past him, why didn’t he understand what you needed right now? You hear him sigh, as if his patience with you was wearing thin. 

“Baby girl, you always do this,” he says, holding onto your shoulders to ground you, to keep you from leaving him. “You shut yourself down, you punish yourself, you push us away and then you break.”

“You can’t do that anymore sunshine,” Hoseok says standing beside you. “We’re in a relationship, we’re in this together, your pain is our pain Y/n.”

They watch you shake your head, bowing your head down so low as they hear the telltale sniffle that turns into a violent sob. Namjoon is quick to catch you in his arms, hushing your softly, stroking your hair until you calmed. All the while guilt ate him up, this was his fault, he could see it in all of their eyes as they watched you fall apart. 

—

The house was solemn and quiet, you had retreated upstairs to your room, Jimin staying beside you while you slept. 

“We underestimated that bitch,” Yoongi breaks the silence with what they were all thinking. They’re all scattered around the living room, Jungkook sitting deep in thought on the headrest of the sofa, Yoongi on the seat beside him. Namjoon sat opposite them with Hoseok on the armrest, Jin pacing the room slowly while Taehyung sat on the floor with his face in his hands. The black face of the TV on the wall stared at them, taunting them with what it held inside. The face broadcasted alongside yours and theirs was one that they barely remembered, but she had the audacity to be interviewed by any news outlet desperate enough for a story. They didn’t want to turn on the TV and see her face. 

“She signed an NDA,” Namjoon says, a headache forming, “we didn’t think she was going to be a problem.”

“That’s where arrogance gets us,” Jin scoffs.

“Flower worked so hard for so long,” Taehyung says quietly, mourning for you. They all knew it better than anyone. 

“We’ll fix this,” Namjoon states, he wouldn’t rest until they did. 

“Namjoon be real for a second,” Hoseok sighs, “we might not be able to fix it.”

“No company is going to take her without an agenda,” Jungkook pipes in stoically.

“Or without thinking she’s a corporate spy,” Jin agrees. 

“We can’t control everyone and everything,” Hoseok finishes, patting the lead CEO on the shoulder sympathetically. 

“And we definitely can’t ignore a problem away,” Yoongi scoffs, staring daggers into Namjoon. 

“Let’s not start this now,” Jin warns, feeling Namjoon’s guilt from a mile away.

“What does he mean?” Jungkook asks, feeling confused. 

“Namjoon’s been burning threats concerning us,” Yoongi continues accusatively. 

“We never opened those letters,” Namjoon argues back, “we don’t know what they contained.”

“Well we know now,” Yoongi says mockingly. He hated when you were upset, the feeling made his own claws unsheath, ready to tear into anyone who was held responsible. 

“We don’t know the two things are connected,” Hoseok tries to defend their lead. 

“Don’t be stupid Hobi,” Yoongi seethes, “Kitten’s whole career has gone down the drain because of us, what the fuck is she going to do if she finds out?”

“You best hope she doesn’t,” Taehyung snapped, his earlier melancholy now fueled by fear. 

“We can’t keep this from her,” Hoseok shakes his head, disregarding the point.

“She’ll hate us,” Jungkook states, terrified it would manifest before his eyes soon. 

“She’ll be angry at us,” Jin corrects him, “but we have to tell her.”

“Not now, it’s too soon,” Namjoon says quickly, his own fear warping his judgement.

“You should’ve opened one fucking letter,” Yoongi can’t let it go, all of this could’ve been avoided if it wasn’t for Namjoon’s stupid stubbornness. 

“What good is bringing that up now going to do?” Hoseok sighs again. 

“We don’t know if it’s connected!” Namjoon yells exasperated. “What we do know is Shin Suran leaked the photos and the story, and she is going to fucking pay.”

—

“So you’re saying the CEOs fired you because you threatened to expose their relationship to HR?” Solar, the newscaster asks her aghast. 

“Honestly, I didn’t want to expose their… relationship,” she can’t hide the disgust in her voice at the word, “but I was concerned for Y/n’s wellbeing, I thought maybe they were holding her job over her head until I found out she was only entertaining them to climb the corporate ladder.”

Both anchors were shocked, the information sending them reeling.

“I mean what self respecting young woman would sell herself like that? Y/n was never a team player, or very good at her job but somehow she was always favoured by the CEO’s. It should have been obvious really.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of information to unpack Suran,” Solar says. “Aren’t you scared of the repercussions, these are the world’s business leads you’re going up against.”

“I only want to convey the truth,” Suran lies through her teeth. “It isn’t fair that the women who have worked hard and devoted themselves to Bangtan corporations are not appreciated or given the opportunities they deserve.”

“But Miss L/n left bangtan corporations,” the other anchor Hwasa finally speaks after having watched the little snake for so long. Something didn’t sit right with her and this woman’s sickly sweet attitude, it stank of deceit and she wasn’t blind to it. 

“I have it on good information that she was sent to spy on the competition,” Suran’s eyes narrow, not liking her tone of voice. 

“That’s a wild allegation,” Hwasa replies, every bit the professional. “I hope you have the evidence to back it up.”

—

“Bangtan corporations are under serious investigation after allegations of corporate espionage came from their former employee…”

She smiles at the screen plating in front of her, the chaos unravelling in so many wonderful ways. The Sun was shining despite the winter air, how many interviews could she fit into one day? Many it seemed, and while the day was over there was always tomorrow to cause more havoc to your life. Now she would sit and bask in the TV light, watching all of her fire ignite. 

She had only gotten cosy when the doorbell rang to her little flat, groaning as she went to the door to answer it.

“Shin Suran?”

The three piece suit should give away something serious was in the brown paper envelope in his hands but she couldn’t bring herself to show any respect to the figure. She sneered and rolled her eyes, this man might’ve looked intimidating but she was currently on a high from ruining your life, nothing was going to bring her power trip down.

“Wi HaJoon,” he continues in the absence of a greeting, handing her the envelope. “You’ve been served.”

“What?” That elicits a reaction out of her, for some reason she didn’t even contemplate there would be consequences for her actions, deluded into thinking she was untouchable.

“You’re being sued for stalking, defamation and breaking the nondisclosure agreement you signed.”

That wasn’t part of her plan, her jaw drops to the ground and she realises maybe she played her cards all wrong. In the violent web of wanting to destroy your life she didn’t realise all her defences were gone. Maybe he was right after all.

—

When you wake up, the sun begins to set and Jimin’s warmth engulfs you. The feeling is comforting but fleeting, unfortunately real life problems don’t fade just because you’re in his arms. You wanted to bury yourself in his hold, have him take everything away until you were ready to deal with it. Jungkook’s favourite grey sweatshirt swallows you whole, his smell calming your senses, you try to focus on it when your mind tries to swim through the thoughts that wanted you to drown. 

The door creaks open, two figures cautiously peaking in whispering to themselves. When Tae notices you’re awake he takes a seat beside you, caressing your cheek in his palm gently, his thumb soothing your skin. His eyes are downtrodden.

Jungkook kneels on the floor next to you, taking your hand in his and covering it with hard kisses, resting his cheek where they intertwined.

You try to get up but Jimin beside you grumbles in discontent, shuffling closer mumbling something under his breath without opening his eyes. A chaste kiss to your shoulder where the fabric hangs off your skin, lets you know he’s awake but refusing to let you go. The gesture brings a small but genuine smile to your face, one that turns into confusion as the commotion downstairs gets louder.

The younger two give each other knowing glances, one you don’t miss.

“What’s going on?” You ask, voice still hoarse from crying.

The hesitation in both of them fills you with dread. Did something else happen? 

“They’re just trying to sort things out bunny,” Jungkook tries to reassure you, “it’s nothing to worry about.”

Despite Taehyung not wanting you to find out, something sickened him at the idea of keeping secrets from you. He knew how the truth always found its way out, and he knew if you didn’t hear it from them, it would have worse repercussions. 

“Tae?” you could see a storm in his eyes, a battle between the loyalty to the others and his love for you. 

“The hyungs…” he hesitates, Jimin now fully awake and sitting up at his deep uncertain tone. 

Jungkook looks at him imploring him not to say it yet, it was going to be too much to deal with so soon after this morning. You grab Jimin’s arm, pulling yourself up closer to Taehyung who now avoided your gaze.

“Guys what’s going on?”

“I’ve been here with you,” Jimin mumbles half asleep, his hair a soft mess on his head. 

“Kookie?” you turn to the youngest who bites his lips nervously, doe eyes begging you not to ask him. 

“You’re worrying me,” your nerves were shot, the trauma from this morning making you beyond paranoid. What could be worse than this morning, what weren’t they telling you. 

“Jimin, Jungkook and I didn’t know,” Taehyung starts slowly, not wanting to put his hyung’s under the bus but he wasn’t going to let them shoulder the blame when they were innocent. Plus when this was over he had a feeling you would ostracise the older four for a while, he couldn’t handle being a part of that. 

“Didn’t know what?” you ask tentatively, urging him to continue.

“I still don’t know,” Jimin grumbles, getting annoyed with the suspense. 

“Namjoon Hyung has been getting letters,” Jungkook says when Taehyung pauses for too long. He sighs, cursing the hyung’s for keeping this from you when he knew the betrayal would crush you. 

“What letters?” 

Something ticks in Jimin’s brain, his sleep filled eyes going wide with realisation. The other day in the office, when the hyung’s went solemn, it was to do with that?

“We think…” Taehyung tries not to stumble over his words, “they were threats, about you or us, but we don’t know because…”

Threats? You’re sent reeling, did Namjoon know this was coming? And he did nothing to warn you, or confide in you?

“Because what?” you breathe, your voice heavy, eyes watering as your thoughts ran away from you. Jimin places an arm around your shoulders, trying to soothe you.

“He burned the letters before he opened them,” Jungkook finishes, feeling a deep rooted shame for his favourite hyung, and for selling him out. 

“Angel…”

Jimin calls after you as you throw the covers off of you, storming downstairs to confront the men hiding things from you. 

“Sunshine-”

“You’ve been getting threats and you didn’t tell me?” 

They startle at your accusation, as right as it was, the four of them confounded until the younger three stumble in behind you. All four hyungs glance at them disgruntled and disappointed, this was not the way to handle things, the thought was hypocritical but justified in their minds. 

“You didn’t tell me?” Your teary eyes pierce Yoongi with so much sadness, of all of them you never expected him to keep it from you, and for some reason it stung the worst.

“Kitten,” he tries reaching out to you, a vulnerable edge to his voice. He would let you scratch and claw at him until you were satisfied, anything to keep you from looking at him like that again. 

“Babygirl it’s my fault,” Namjoon sighs, taking the edge of his hyung and shouldering all the blame. “I told them not to.”

You turn back to him with anger in your eyes.

“Namjoon you’re the lead at work but that doesn’t make you the lead in this relationship,” you snap. “You had no right to keep this from me!”

“I know,” he says, his voice small.

“How long have you been getting these letters?” You ask and he hangs his head in shame. 

“Months…” he replies, “since you left the company.”

You stare at him appalled and it wounds him.

“You have the gall to tell me how to behave in this relationship Kim Namjoon,” Your voice is strained through the onslaught of angry tears. “And you keep this from me?”

“I didn’t know what the letters said,” he says as an excuse, and he knows it’s a feeble one. 

You shake your head in disbelief.

“I thought you of all people would get it Joonie,” the way your voice breaks cuts through him with shame. “You built everything from the ground up, I admired you long before I loved you. So how the hell could you play with my future like this?”

“Baby girl that was never my intention,” he begs you to understand him now, that he didn’t behave nonchalant with a potential threat, he thought he was doing what was best. 

“It doesn’t matter what your intention was! There was a clear right and wrong, and you know it.”

He bows his head again, you were right, he disrespected you when he didn’t discuss the letters with you, you should’ve made the decision together as to what to do with them. But in his heart he thought he was protecting you, protecting your peace and happiness, but all of that was a bubble set to burst.

“We don’t know that it’s connected beautiful,” Jin steps in between you, speaking as softly as he can knowing you were full of rage and sorrow, but he watched Namjoon take the blow and needed to shield him a little. 

“We don’t know that it’s not,” you argued back. “We have no way of knowing, because instead of talking to me about something unpleasant, you guys decided to bury it.”

“Sunshine, I get that you’re upset-” Hoseok tries but the look of incredulous shock shuts him up.

“Upset?” you repeat, the strain in your voice carrying tears. “Everything I worked for, all my dreams, are gone.” 

It was a struggle to get out every word, having to take a breath between each one, but you were determined to. 

“No company is going to employ me, even if they do I’ll be subjugated to whispers and isolation and we know how that worked out last time.”

You sniffle, wiping your nose and tears with your sleeve. You wanted to appear strong but you were breaking down, didn’t they understand what they had done? Didn’t they care? Or were they so comfortable in their gold seats so far above you they forgot about their struggles on the way there?

“I didn’t join your company to seduce you, I wanted to work hard and make something of myself, maybe start my own company one day, but all of that is gone.”

“Kitten,” Yoongi dares himself to try again, to console you even if you pushed him away. He walks over to you, remembering all the times you seeked him out for comfort. It used to confound the others, how Mr Stoic Stone was the one that you reached for, and even though it was unusual for him to step into those shoes, with you it came so naturally. He wanted to be the one you searched for when you needed soothing, he never wanted to lose that connection he built with you, ever. He knew it was a privilege, one he never took for granted.

He hates the way you look at him now, it breaks his heart, those watering eyes showing how truly hurt you were while you tried to control the trembling of your bottom lip, tried to look strong in front of him. 

“Whatever you think is gone, we can rebuild,” he takes your face in his hands, kissing the top of your head softly before looking into your eyes. “I am so sorry for not telling you, but I promise you whatever dreams you had will come true. It's just going to suck for a while and that’s our fault.” 

“We know better than anyone how hard you work sunshine,” Hoseok smiles at you sadly, regretting not telling you. 

“If you want a company babygirl, we’ll get you a company,” Namjoon’s own voice thick with remorse. “Whatever you want.”

“There’s enough space in the office for another desk,” Jimin tries to lighten the mood with a teasing lilt to his voice, but he’s not joking at all. “No one would dare to whisper about our angel CEO.”

You shake your head, removing Yoongi’s hold on you. They didn’t get it. You’ve worked for everything you had, it was how you had always been. You didn’t want to be handed a title you didn’t earn, or have your powerful boyfriends buy positions for you. 

“Why would that be such a bad idea, beautiful?” Jin asks softly. “You’re more than capable.”

“I don’t need anyone thinking I slept my way to the top,” you scoff. 

“Who cares what other people think, Kitten?” Yoongi sighs. “No one can deny you deserve a CEO position.”

You shake your head again, breathes of humourless laughter escaping your lips. They really didn’t get it. It was so easy to say that when you were untouchable to people’s words. 

“You guys made the decision by yourselves to keep this from me,” you state, not looking at them but to the ground. “My career has nothing to do with you, whatever happens next is my choice.”

“Kitten-”

“You don’t have the right Yoongi,” you try to keep the anger out of your voice. “None of you do right now. I need to figure this out alone.”

“Are you breaking up with us?” Jungkook asks in a panic, not moving from the doorway, he would block your exit, he would fall to his knees and beg you to stay. 

“No,” you reassure him with a syllable. “I love you, I always will, I’m just angry right now.”

“And you have every right to be,” Namjoon agrees solemnly. 

“I just have one last thing on my mind,” you frown, an obvious question was left unanswered. 

You face Namjoon, knowing he would hold the answer.

“You destroyed the letters before opening them,” it’s not a question but it sounds like one. 

He nods, wondering where you were going with this. 

“So how did you know they were threats?”

He hesitates, trying to build up the courage to tell you how he knew exactly who they were from. 

“The return address,” Jin answers for him. “It was from the penitentiary.”

The realisation hits you, and for some reason it makes the whole situation so much worse. The accusation in your eyes returns as you gaze at Namjoon. He knew exactly what he was dealing with when he got rid of those letters, and looking at you now he knew he would have to beg for your forgiveness. 

—

Bonus scene flashback:

Dear Kim Namjoon,

You haven’t responded to the last 6 letters I have sent, so either you’re not taking me seriously, or you haven’t read a single one. Both choices are not in anyone’s best interest, I don’t think you realise the situation you’ve put me in, I have nothing to lose. 

The deadline is approaching for you to transfer the funds and secure my release. I am not spending years in jail because of your jealousy. Enclosed are copies of the images I will release to the media, I bet you’re wondering how I was able to get these when you locked me away. 

It seems I’m not the only one you thought you could cross and toss away. For your sake, I hope you make the right choice.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Alexander Pettyfer

“They haven’t responded to a single one of your stupid letters, what makes you think they will now?” Suran scoffs at the news that he sent another. 

“Just be patient,” he replies, the usually clean cut male looking rugged and rough. “We need something out of this other than just ruining their lives.”

“Look, the images I got are proof enough about what that whore is doing, I say we release them.”

“Not yet!” The rise in his voice gets the guards attention, and he takes a deep breath to calm down. Stupid woman didn’t know when to listen, it was unfortunate that he had to use her, although he should count his blessings the day she came and visited for the first time with an idea to take the CEOs down. 

#bts au #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #bts ceo!au #ceo bts #bts ceo au #bts ot7 x reader #bts ot7 au #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x you #hoseok x reader #hobi x reader #jimin x you #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts writing #bts series

[eluxcastar]

Number 13 and 14 with Arlecchino

Arlecchino being comforted by her s/o

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: arlecchino comfort drabbles yesyes

୨୧﹑genre :: sort of fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, possibly ooc because it was written pre fontaine quest, not very proofread, arlecchino is implied to have issues with self-image/perception

୨୧﹑words :: 2.2k

"I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I've met." "I'm going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly."

IT'S HERE you guys always spoil me 13 is my favourite prompt and you are the first of two to request it. completely unrelated but this is so familiar to what Kae said a few days ago (months now omg 😭) when we were talking about One of Repetition and it fits those two so well 😭❤️

to the anon who requested furina it'll take me a minute to figure out how to write her because I haven't played the archon quest but I'll watch some cutscenes and do my best for you

I'll also be using this because I got it in the middle of writing this and thought it fit the idea I had going super well 🙏 that makes three Arlecchino requests with prompt 13 😭 also second anon you're fine dw you guys are free to do with your requests with these prompts as you like, mix them together, add extra descriptions and rambles it makes it more fun 👍 thank you btw 😭❤ feel free to give yourself a name for future requests if you want ❤️ I love having new anons

prompt list

It is not often that Arlecchino shows her doubt, maintaining that half-pleasant façade to hide it all. If all people see is a ruthless woman with no regard for loyalty, then the details don't matter. There's no need to question, no need to dwell. She is one thing and nothing more, and she much prefers for nobody to notice the hesitancy in her drastic decisions, the thin-veiled regret as she watches the children she witnessed grow up go on to become valiant children of the Tsaritsa.

If there is anything more, it is disregarded as her unpredictability. She is a roach in the eyes of others, and perhaps she's ok with that…mostly.

To hear someone say "I love you" is strange to her, though it shouldn't be by now.

It shouldn't be unusual to wake up tangled in the sheets with you by her side or the struggle it ends up being to leave that mess as you try to convince her to spend five more minutes with you. It shouldn't be odd to discover that you've gone ahead and made her tea in anticipation of the time she will wake up or to have you remind her every morning that you hung her coat up to dry after she dumped it over the back of a chair the night before or to see you wandering around going about your own job.

But those events all feel surreal to her, even though she has watched you walk your patrol path a thousand times now, and she has seen you slack off where she sits by the window of Zapolyarny when you think nobody is looking.

You are very real, there's no doubt about that.

The things you do never click with her, however.

Perhaps you are real, but she made up these fantasies after watching you loiter by that one spot in the garden a little too long.

Yet every evening, you meet her in her office after you're officially let off for the day, and you usually bring snacks. You are most definitely there, then, as she watches you struggle to get through the door without damaging whatever you found for her to try, usually only small, a pastry you managed to get that you absolutely mustn't knock from your hands.

"I tried to get something that wouldn't make a big mess all over your stuff," you usually say, sometimes hacking on a 6guilty little "But~ these just looked so good…" to try and excuse you for bringing something that would cover her desk in crumbs.

Arlecchino doesn't mind because you went to the trouble of getting her something.

She got you a special chair to pull up and everything, and anyone else who uses it can deal with the death glare they get or find a different one.

But perhaps she made that up too, conjuring the image of someone fumbling their way through her office door to greet her with a smile, sometimes with jam on your mouth from taste-testing the gifts that she'll point out to you that you hurriedly wipe on your sleeve and pretend it was never there.

Maybe she put that chair there for nothing, and it never really moves, and each time she thinks this, she is sure this fantasy will all disappear.

However, every evening, without fail, as the sun begins to set out the window and the room is dyed an orange hue, the door opens, and there you are again. Delusions can't possibly be that persistent, and you would've scowled at her when she approached you in the hallways if you weren't aware of this relationship.

So it must be real, which she's well and truly aware of. There must be a person out there who sees what she cannot, someone who, by some miracle, manages to see past the things that block out all of the good. How can a person see anything but someone unworthy of their love?

What else is there to see? 

The idea of a person who deserves to be loved beneath bloodshed has become unthinkable.

For a person who has been exposed to Arlecchino's worst sins, who has seen everything, and whose worst offence in life is a little laziness on the job, how is it possible to look at her and smile?

Arlecchino often wonders as she watches you. She how you go through your routine of placing your things down, whether on the desk or beside them, then all too happily mosey on off to get your chair and drag it over to sit across from her. She doesn't know why it's this particular day that she asks. Perhaps the fact it was weighing on her mind after a recent mission had her list of redeeming qualities shrinking further and further. It is in her job description, and there are plenty of worse people in this world.

But do you deserve to be stuck with one of them?

"Did you ever feel pressured into accepting my feelings for you?" Arlecchino asks the question so suddenly as you're halfway through walking back with your chair that she sees the exact point you register what she said, freezing in place from the shock. "Whether through status or power," she adds.

You blink a few times before all the motion in your world resumes to greet you with the image of her staring you down from the other side of her desk, patient and waiting for your response. "Sorry?" You let the chair go to return alone to her, standing in the place where you always put it. "I don't, uh…follow? I'm sorry, I just— I'm not sure what you mean?"

She hesitates, momentarily glancing down before her age returns to you and your uncharacteristic expression riddled with worry. She must've made you upset again.

"You want to be in this relationship? With me, that is…" Arlecchino struggles to think of the words, saying them as soon as they appear in her mind. "Even though you know the kind of person I am, you still want that?" 

She studies your face as carefully as she can, watching the way you react as you absorb everything you just heard and assumedly try to put a response together in your head. Arlecchino has noticed before how you take longer to speak than her sometimes, but it tends to make everything you say more thought out, though you may end it like you're unsure.

"Well, I mean…if I didn't, wouldn't I just—" you pause for only a second— "break up with you?" There's silence after you finish. She doesn't say or do anything. To Arlecchino, that strangely almost makes sense, but you must be far too bold to admit that to a Harbinger. "It's not that I want to! I'm a little--…well, I think I'm just a little bit confused where that's coming from."

"I was thinking about it." You frown when she admits that. "Some of the things you have seen of me are…" Is there even a word to encompass that? "unbecoming of a lover."

Is that the right way to phrase it?

Again, you pause, and the telltale signs of consideration cross your face. An intense focus that barely lasts, and Arlecchino waits through it all to allow you your chance to answer, intent on allowing you that much. A few seconds more, and your features relax, looking back at Arlecchino with a tender gaze. "There's not really one 'right way', is there?" Your question, though rhetorical, strikes a chord with the many impulsive responses that flood her mind, all of which she keeps to herself. "You just kind of...try your best. Things might work out, or maybe they don't— the point is that you mean well and put in the work."

"That's not enough," she argues, "you deserve better."

"I deserve what I want." Your rebuttal makes sense in theory, but what do you want? She struggles to make sense of that part, the answer muddled by all of her thoughts and lost in her doubts. 

You could ask anything of her, and she would do it. Any material possession, every feeling, more love than you know what to do with in any form you desire—physical, emotional, intimate—and yet you never do. You accept her awkward hugs, that it takes her time to relax when you lay your head on her chest, the fact she sometimes snores, that her clothes may very well be covered in bloodstains when she comes home depending on uncontrollable circumstances.

You never ask for the things she has plenty of power to give you in return for those flaws.

She shakes her head, "but surely you want more."

"I don't."

"There is a lot wrong that you deserve compensation for." 

Arlecchino clenches the pen in her hand tightly, feeling the slight distress of pressure around it. She can't articulate what, not in the way she understands it; flaws is too broad of a term to use. You would instantly know and understand what she meant in a perfect world, but the world is not so generous.

"Like what?" you question. You feel that it’s obvious that nothing Arlecchino will struggle to say will shake you. She opens her mouth, prepared to refute it, headstrong and frankly stubborn as ever, but nothing comes out.

There is silence for a moment, and no one rebuts what you say. Nobody can. The only other person in the room fights with herself to yield and give in to your unwavering loyalty. In your mind, she is everything you want. There is nothing else you can ask of her than to simply accept that you wish to remain with her if only she will allow you to through her own emotional turmoil.

"Are you listening to what I’m saying?" you ask, frown creeping back onto your face as it tugs the corner of your lips down, seemingly against your will, "I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met."

Another chord is struck, her heart beating so loud it thrums in her ears like suddenly becoming aware it’s been threatening to beat out of her chest the entire conversation. She breathes, shaky and caught up in her own surprise. Somehow, she didn’t expect you to be so sweet in your words or throw her off guard so abruptly. She finds it hard to believe them. Arlecchino’s worries haven’t disappeared, only dwindled. It helps, if not completely. There is a reprieve in listening to you.

You have seen the worst of her, every crease she hasn’t ironed out, her sometimes rotten personality, her stained clothes, the weapons she cleans in your home. You have seen her walk to greet you covered in blood and gore from a savage fight, kneel before you and hold your hand with the same hands she uses to kill vagrants and petty criminals, kiss your skin with those lips that spill the vilest of curses against her enemies.

Before she realises what she’s saying, she blurts out a question, "Do you really believe that?" 

It is quiet, reminiscent of how gently you looked at her earlier as her voice barely breaks a whisper, and she can’t bring herself to break eye contact with you once she finds the courage to make it.

"I do." 

You smile at her, hoping she will smile back. A faint smile graces Arlecchino’s lips, ever the handsome picture. Her sincerity is comforting after such a scare. You still worry, and perhaps you will never stop with the way her mind likes to trick her. How long had she thought you secretly looked at her with disgust this time? You fear you won’t have an answer again, though you desperately wish for one. As much as you notice her awkwardness, dismissing some of it and observing other parts with more scrutiny, it is hard to make her talk to you at times.

"Thank you." It is all Arlecchino can think to say in response as she forgets what else she was going to challenge you on. It will return eventually, and she will face it again, but for now, it settles. Arlecchino can reasonably bury her doubt for a time.

"Can we keep talking?" you ask. 

"About anything," she confirms with a nod.

You turn away, walking across the room in pursuit of retrieving your chair from its designated spot by the wall. You pull it along, dragging it over the floor, and set it down across from her on the other side of the desk you’ve been talking across. Your seat welcomes you as it always does as you settle into place, now comfortably at eye level with her.

"In that case," you begin, taking the pen she holds and wriggling it from her hands. She relinquishes it without much of a fight, allowing you to place it off to the side out of the way. "I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly."

"Anything for you, my love."

#♡ — anon visit. #✦ — scenarios. #✦ — fluff. #arlecchino #arlecchino x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

[topguncortez]

Opposites Attract 2- J. Seresin

pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x shy female!reader word count: 5.6k (Issa long one) warnings: top gun shit, mentions of death, mentions of sexual themes, angsty synopsis: The day of the faithful uranium plant mission is upon us, who will return home to their loved ones, and who will not. part 1

a/n: I will probably be making Opposites Attract into a mini series! let me know what you would like to see in it! also request are still open!!

Hangman had never liked deployment day, and he grew to hate it even more when he met his wife. He hated having to leave his friends and belongings behind to spend months on end on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean. When he was young and single, he loved it. He would almost volunteer for any chance to go out to sea, but that all changed when he met Y/N. The first time he ever left her was the hardest. Being in the middle of the ocean, no way to contact her, no way to hear her voice or see her. The only thing he had from her was a letter she had stuffed into his duffle bag when he wasn’t looking. He would read that letter every night to the point he had basically memorized it. The second his boots hit the ground in Coronado Island, he was running to go find her. 

The goodbyes never got easier, but the welcome homes did. Hangman could hardly keep himself contained as he would stand on near the edge of the aircraft carrier, as they would salute as they came into dock. He’d have to constantly remind himself not to run in his dress uniform, that the admirals and captains were watching him, but he would fail himself and take off running towards her. And She was always there, waiting for him. From just standing by herself, to supporting a growing baby bump, to holding a small child on her hip, Y/N never missed when Jake would come home off the ship. 

Now, Jake prayed he’d be able to have that moment again. 

Jake knew Phoenix had probably told Y/N a little more detail than what Jake was willing to give to her. But that night after putting Alex to bed, Jake walked into their shared bedroom and found her crying on the bed. His heart broke at the sight, and he moved to her quickly, wrapping her in his strong arms as she cried. 

“Please,” She hiccuped, “Please come home.” 

“I will do everything I possibly can to come home,” Jake said to her, and kissed her temple. 

That night Jake helped her unwind, knowing her mind was running a mile a minute. He drew her a bath, filled it with the lavender scented bubble soap she loved so much. He helped her undress and made sure to tell her how beautiful she was. He lit some candles he found lying around the house, and helped her get into the bath. Jake sat on the ground by the tub, holding her hand and answering any questions she may have about the mission to the best of his ability. 

“So you’ll still be gone for three days?” Y/N asked. 

“Yes, a day to get out there, the mission day, and a day to come home,” Jake answered. He knew he should’ve just told her about it to begin with instead of dancing around the details. 

“So this. . .mission, plan thing, you don’t know who’s actually going on it? Captain Mitchell hasn’t told anyone yet?” 

“No,” Jake sighed, “Kind of annoying too that we don’t know who’s flying with who yet. But there will be six of us, two foxtrot teams, two solo pilots.” 

“And the goal is to just fly in and blow up this plant thing and then fight these missile things and come home.” 

Jake smiled, he loved hearing her try to explain his job. Y/N had grown up around the Navy, her dad being a WSO prior. She knew a little bit more than the average person, but at the same time she didn’t want to know. She would rather live in a world where she didn’t need to know her husband was flying at supersonic speeds to destroy the enemy a hundred some feet above the pacific ocean in his own flying death trap. But, whenever she did talk about it, her face would light up with this sort of childlike innocence, that reminded him of Alex, and it would bring a smile to his perfectly chiseled face. 

“That’s the goal,” Jake nodded, “If everything goes well-” 

“You survive,” Y/N said, “But if it doesn’t. . . someone comes home with a flag draped over their body.” 

Jake looked down at their hands. It was times like these where Jake wished he could’ve found an easier calling in life, like a doctor or math teacher. Y/N had heard the screams of wives and mothers as they opened the door to see two naval officers in uniform. Or watched as an officer stepped off the ship first, carrying a perfect folded flag and walked over to one of the family members waiting. Y/N could remember her stomach dropping as she watched an officer walk directly towards her, folded flag in his white gloved hands. She felt like she was going to be sick as he handed the flag to the woman next to her. Y/N had to act quickly and hold her up as her knees gave out and she screamed so loudly, the sound would stay with Y/N forever. 

“Hey,” Jake said, and moved to wipe a tear falling from her eye, “Don’t think like that, okay. I know it’s scary, but I am flying with the best of the best. We will all do what we can to come home, that’s our main goal, is to come home.” Y/N sniffled and nodded, nuzzling into the warmth of Jake’s hand, “Now come on, before the water gets cold.” 

“No,” Y/N pouted, “I wanna stay here forever!” 

“You’re like Alex,” Jake laughed, “Come on, sweetheart, can’t have you turning all wrinkly on me.” 

“Would you still love me if I was?” 

“Sweetheart, I will always love you, even when we are both old and wrinkly,” Jake smiled and leaned in to kiss her soft pink lips. 

That night Jake held her close, neither one bothered to wear anything to bed, sleeping completely naked. Y/N used to shy away whenever Jake would look at her body. She would cover herself up, or make him close his eyes and turn around. The first time Jake had ever seen her completely naked, he just wanted to stare at her for hours. She was perfect, every single thing about her. Jake took his time memorizing her curves and lines, telling her how perfect she was. She slowly got more comfortable with being nude around him and letting him see her. Jake about creamed his pants the first time she ever walked over in lingerie. He had no idea she could be such a minx. But now, it was almost second nature for them to sleep somewhat, if not completely nude, wrapped in each other's arms, feeling each other in their most vulnerable state. 

When the sun came up the next day, the two of them fell in sync getting each other ready for a busy day. Y/N and Jake both made breakfast, as Y/N prepared lunch for him to take. Jake also got Alex up too, the little boy only seemed to be happy waking up when it was Jake who got him out of bed. Y/N smiled at her two boys as Jake walked in carrying him on his hip. 

“Morning, love,” Y/N said and kissed his cheek, “We got a fun day planned. Penny is going to take us sailing!” 

“Penny?” Jake asked, looking at her, “Since when do you talk to Penny?” 

“Since she told me about the farmers market when I was at the grocery store the other day,” Y/N shrugged and went back to making Jake’s lunch. 

Jake nodded and kissed Alex’s temple before setting him down, only for him to run straight to Y/N. Jake was happy that Y/N was slowly breaking out of her shell. He worried about her when he was gone on missions or detachments like this one. She was shy, and tends to stick to herself. He remembered some of the hard phone calls when Alex was a newborn. Y/N would break down and beg for Jake to come home, or even threaten to leave and move back to San Diego to be closer to her family. She felt alone, she had no one there in Lemoore. But overtime, she had taught herself how to ask for help when she needed it and found solace in some of the older navy wives in their neighborhood. Now, being down in San Diego for the time being, she had found a friendship in the local bar owner. 

It made Jake happy, knowing that if something were to happen while he was gone, Y/N wouldn’t be alone while planning his funeral. The last thing he ever wanted to do was leave her alone to have to plan his funeral on her own. He had taken the precaution, and written down most of what he wanted. All the details, including his will and letters to his family were tucked away in a manila envelope that usually sat in the bottom of his desk at home. But for this mission, he had taken it with him, and it sat in the bottom of her suitcase. 

The days went and faded into the next. Jake spent as much time as he could with Y/N and Alex. And the rest of the squadron seemed to want to spend time with the two of them as well. They had become a small family in the matter of two weeks, all of them knowing the weight of the situation at hand. Y/N had even opened her home to them the night of Admiral Kazansky’s funeral, letting them drink and eat their sorrows away. She had only met the Admiral once, when she was young and her dad was still in the service. 

Alex had made new friends, calling them Uncle Bob, Uncle Rooster (much to Hangman’s dismay), and Aunt Phoenix. Jake had even gotten both Alex and Y/N on base one day so Alex could see some real planes take off and land. The little boy would not stop talking about how cool it was to see Maverick fly over them upside down. Y/N almost had a heart attack when Jake came home telling her that Bob and Phoenix had to make an emergency ejection. She insisted on inviting them over for a meal and sending them home with plenty of leftovers and homemade cookies. 

The dread morning of the mission, Jake didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to pack his duffle bag, or zip up his flight suit, or put his boots on, or shave his face. He wanted to lay in bed and hold his wife close to his chest. But, he woke up to a cold bed, and his wife was not by his side. Jake pushed himself out of bed, scanning the dark room. The sun hadn’t even risen yet, so he was very confused where his wife was. She was not a morning person, no matter how many early mornings she had with Jake, going to drop him off or pick him up, she hated mornings. 

Jake shuffled down the dark hallway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he made his way to the room his son was in. His heart broke at the sight in front of him. Y/N holding Alex in her arms, rocking him as he sniffled against her chest. The soft glow of the lamp showed the little boy’s red nose and eyes, and his blonde hair sticking to his forehead. He looked like he was sweating but he was shaking as Y/N pulled him in closer and adjusted the blanket on him. 

“Hey, I didn’t think-” 

“Is he sick?” Jake asked, walking over to them. 

Y/N sighed, “Running a little bit of a fever. He came in and woke me up, he wet the bed.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Jake asked, kneeling down in front of the two. He ran his hand softly over the sleeping boy’s cheek. 

“You need your sleep. It’s a very important day.” 

“Screw sleep. Screw the mission. He’s sick.” 

“You can’t go AWOL.” 

“I can try and pull some strings. I’ll call your dad and-” 

“You can’t,” Y/N whispered, and leaned forward to place her hand on Jake’s cheek to stop his rambling, “You can’t. As much as I would love for you to stay here with us, you can’t. We will be okay.” 

“But what if you have to take him-” Jake knew she hated going to the doctor’s. She felt as though they never really listened to her, and would talk over her head using medical jargon that was hard for really anyone to understand. Jake would go with her, to help her ease her nerves and hold her hand. 

“I will be fine. We will be fine,” She tried to assure him, but Jake could see through it. He could see through it anytime he left, but all he could do was nod. There was no arguing when it came to her, or the contract he signed to protect and serve. So, he pushed himself up from the ground, kissed her softly and began to get ready to ship out. 

Y/N sat in Alex’s room, still holding him as he slept, and looked up at the ceiling, trying to push back tears from falling. She leaned her head down, and placed her lips to the top of Alex’s soft blonde hair, and sniffled back tears. She could hear Jake shuffling about their room, packing things away and putting his flight suit on. Jake paused and looked at the purple suitcase that she had open on her side of the bed. He was yet to tell her about the envelope at the bottom of her suitcase. He felt his throat tighten up as he walked over, kneeling down and dug to the bottom, pulling it out. He felt his hands shake as he placed it on top of their freshly made bed.  He placed his elbows on the bed, and folded his hands in prayer as he closed his eyes. 

“Please God, let me come home to them,” Jake whispered. He opened his eyes to see the first rays of the morning sun start to peek over the horizon. He knew it was time to go. 

Y/N had gotten up from Alex’s room, but still held him in her arms. He was somewhat awake now, as she had him on her hip and was making Jake something to eat that he could take with him. Jake placed his duffle bag by the front door before making his way into the kitchen. He wanted to freeze the moment forever, watching his wife and son in the kitchen. If the last thing he ever saw was those two, he would have no complaints. Jake made his way over to the two of them, and Y/N gave him a sad smile. He kissed her forehead and took Alex from her arms. He was still sleepy, so he cuddled right into his father, burying his face into his neck. 

“Are you feeling okay buddy?” Jake asked him, running a hand over his blonde locks. 

“My tummy angry,” Alex pouted. 

“I know,” Jake frowned. 

“You gotta leave now, or you’ll be late,” Y/N said, softly and Jake nodded. Jake took her hand as they walked to the front door. He handed Alex back to her as he picked up his duffle bag. 

Rooster was waiting for him in the driveway, his head down and full of thoughts as well. Y/N felt her heart break for him, he didn’t have anyone waiting at home for him. Jake threw his duffle bag in the bed of his bronco, making Rooster lift his head up. It was like deja vu, watching the way Jake held his wife and kissed his son goodbye. Rooster looked at his dashboard, of the picture of his parents and then back at Y/N and Jake. His heart felt heavy as he watched Jake hand Alex back to Y/N, the little boy crying and reaching out for his father. Y/N put a hand on his head, trying to console him, but it was useless. Jake yelled another ‘I Love You’ before turning fast on his heel to get towards Rooster’s bronco. Jake knew it was easier for all three of them to leave fast, than to dwell and spend more time breaking each other’s hearts. 

“Is he okay?” Rooster asked. 

“Yeah,” Jake’s voice cracked. He shook his head and wiped a tear, “Just go.” 

Jake could see in the rearview mirror, his wife standing on the doorstep, holding their crying son, tears falling down her own cheeks as she watched the bronco disappear down the street. She placed her free hand on her belly, rubbing the area softly and saying a prayer in her head. 

— —  — 

The next day was hell. She sat on the beach at the Hard Deck, watching as Amelia and Alex played in the waves together. He was starting to feel somewhat better, and Y/N thought sunshine and giggles would help him feel better. The sun made her feel better than sitting in the house and staring at the clock, waiting for the hours to pass by agonizingly slow. 

Penny frowned at the sight of the young woman, sitting in the sand alone watching the two kids. That had been her once, waiting for any sort of notice that Maverick was alive and not lying dead somewhere. She was more than happy to keep Y/N distracted, knowing it wasn’t easy being the one left behind. Penny walked down from the deck and sat in the beach chair next to her, handing her a glass of lemonade. 

“How are you feeling?” Penny asked her. 

“Want me to lie?” Y/N asked, not turning her head from the little boy who was giggling as Amelia splashed him, 

“That wouldn’t do us any good.” 

“Well, if my timing is correct, he’s either flying towards the uranium plant or he’s sitting on the aircraft carrier,” Y/N said looking down at her watch, “I wish it was none of those.” 

“How far along are you?” Y/N snapped her head towards her. She opened her mouth to protest but Penny held her up, “When I ran into you at the store you had saltines and ginger ale in your cart, I’m guessing to help with morning sickness. And that first night at the Hard Deck, you had nothing but water and lemonade the whole night. You also have this glow about you.” 

“Eight weeks,” Y/N said, her voice tight, “I haven’t told him. I was going to before we came down here but. . .there was never a good time. And now he might die and never-” 

“Oh honey,” Penny said and pulled the girl in for a hug, “What can I help you with while you’re here?” 

“I don’t know,” Y/N said, pulling back from her. She wiped her eyes and looked at her wedding ring, “I guess all I can do is wait. He. . . Jake has this envelope, he’s had it since we first got together. It has everything in it, everything I could possibly need if he,” Y/N’s lip trembled and she choked back a sob, “Darn hormones, I’m not usually this weepy when he leaves.” 

“It’s okay,” Penny smiled and grabbed her hand. 

“It has all his wishes and stuff written down in it. I guess. . . If he doesn’t make it back, can, can you-” 

“Yes,” Penny said, not making her fight to say anything more. Y/N nodded and Penny squeezed her hand as Alex came running up to them, with a seashell in his hand. Y/N wiped her tears and put a smile on her face the best she could as Alex showed her the shell in his hand. Penny admired the girl’s strength as Alex grabbed his mother’s hand and pulled her towards the water. 

Penny had made dinner for all four of them that night. Y/N tried to help her, but Penny shooed her away, telling her she needed to rest, that she was working hard enough creating another Seresin child. Amelia helped Alex set up a fort in the living room, which Y/N made him promise Penny that he would help clean it up. Y/N and Penny spent the night laughing and bonding over the joys of motherhood and telling stories of growing up as military kids. Y/N shared her dreams of hopefully one day going back and visiting Italy, or taking Alex to Hawai’i to see the Pearl Harbor museum. 

When it was time for them to leave, Y/N was dreading going back to the quiet house. Alex was practically spent, and could hardly keep his eyes open as Y/N put him in his carseat. Penny invited her to go sailing with them tomorrow, but she declined. Y/N wanted to stay near home, knowing that tomorrow Jake and the squadron would be returning home. Tomorrow Y/N would know if he was dead or alive. Penny understood and hugged the girl goodnight. 

Y/N let Alex sleep in her bed that night, snuggling him close to her. That manila envelope sat on top of the bed side table, and seemed to be mocking her. She laid awake almost the whole night, the only thing bringing her some comfort was the gentle sound of her son’s breathing. Eventually, out of pure exhaustion, she fell into a dreamless sleep. 

The second the sun hit her face the next morning she was awake. Alex was still fast asleep, and she tucked pillows around him so he wouldn’t roll out of the large bed and onto the floor. Y/N threw on a pair of shorts and one of Jake’s sweatshirts, and began on her cleaning list. The house wasn’t really even that dirty, they had hardly brought anything with them, but it still brought her a sense of relief being able to do something rather than just sit and worry. When Alex finally woke up, she made him breakfast and then they both got dressed and went to the local grocery store to get things to make for Jake’s favorite welcome home meal. 

“Guess what today is, baby?” Y/N said, as she brushed Alex’s blonde hair. 

“Dada come home!” Alex smiled, showing his teeth. 

“Yeah! Dada comes home!” Y/N smiled brightly and kissed his cheek. 

The day ticked on, and morning faded into day, and Y/N watched the clock, feeling her nerves grow as the day progressed. Usually they were home by morning when it came to deployments and detachments but Y/N knew that this was a special assignment. She tried to not let her anxiety get the best of her, but when it was nearing early evening and she still hadn’t heard anything from him, or had seen him, she felt her heart drop. She bit back tears as she watched Alex color a picture for Jake at the kitchen table. 

“Momma, will dada like it!?” Alex asked with excitement, holding up the scribbled drawing. 

“Yeah,” Y/N bit back tears, “I’ll be right back, don’t move.” Y/N said, and felt her heartbreak as she looked at the door waiting for the moment that Jake came back through it. She looked down at her phone, no missed calls or texts, but time was ticking on, “How about you help me with dinner?” 

Y/N and Alex ate Jake’s favorite meal on the back patio. She tried to put on the best act that she could, smiling and telling Alex that Jake would be home soon. But as the sun set behind the clouds it was clear to Y/N, Jake was not coming home. Y/N gave Alex a bath and dressed him in his favorite pajamas and tucked him into bed. She held him extra tight, and read two books instead of the usual just one. 

“Momma,” Alex asked her, “Dada come home?” 

“No,” Y/N said, tears escaping her eyes, “Dada isn’t coming home.” 

“He still on ship?” Alex asked, his blue eyes filled with confusion. 

“I don’t know, baby,” Y/N said. How does a parent have this conversation with their four year old? How do you explain to him that his father is never coming home?, “Go to bed, sweetheart, I love you.” 

“Love you, momma,” Alex said, and Y/N kissed his forehead. She turned his bedroom light on, making sure the night light was on before going down to her room. 

Y/N let out a shaky breath as she sat down on Jake’s side of the bed and looked at the manila envelope with her name scrawled across it. She let out a sob as she picked it up, her vision becoming blurry with tears. She held it to her chest as she sobbed out his name. Never in her years did she think she would have to open it. She never thought that she would be living in a world where Jake wasn’t by her side. He was her everything; her protector, her equal, her other half, the love of her life. She knew she would never find a love like him again. There was no way she could allow herself to kiss another man, let another man touch her, lie down next to another man, let another man raise her kids. Jake was it for her. Jake was all she would ever need. 

She placed the envelope in her lap, running her fingers over his handwriting. Her fingers found the opening flap, and pulled it open. She closed her eyes as she grabbed the stack of papers on the inside, and set them on top of the folder. Opening her eyes, she noticed the handwritten note on the top of the stack. Her tears hit the paper as she held it up to read. 

‘To the love of my life, this is all you will need. I promised to always take care of you, and I will keep that promise. Even in death. I love you- your Jake.’ 

“No,” Y/N sobbed again, holding a shaky hand to her mouth, as she flipped through the documents. Jake had prepared everything, it was all written out in her hands. Her heart hurt too much to even read, as she set the stack back on the bedside table, and laid down on the bed, grabbing a pillow and burying her face into it. She let out screams that were muffled by the pillow she held to her face. She knew that she needed to calm herself down, that it wasn’t good to be this worked up for the baby growing inside her. 

The baby Jake will never meet. 

Y/N placed her hand on her stomach, and cried even more. All Jake ever wanted in life was to be a father, and the moment she had told him that he would be one, his eyes became so bright with love. Jake spent every moment of Y/N’s first pregnancy fighting with his inner demons on if he was going to be a good father or not, and he had told her about his fears of becoming a father and not getting to see his children grow up. The story of Goose Bradshaw was one that was somewhat known in their world, and Jake hated it. He hated the idea so much that at the drop of the word, Jake would leave his whole navy career behind to be a dad. 

At some point in time, Y/N must’ve cried herself to sleep, because she didn’t hear the opening of the front door, or the drop of a duffle bag, or the steps of boots down the hallway, or the soft call of her name. She woke up at the feeling of someone’s hands shaking her gently. She turned quickly, and gasped at the sight of her husband sitting in front of her. She let out a sob as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She hugged him with so much force it caught him off guard, having to steady both of them before they went crashing to the ground. 

All Jake could do was hold her as her body racked with sobs once again. He buried his face in her hair, taking a dip sniff of her shampoo. He felt safe being back in her arms. Y/N held onto him with all her strength, scared that this was just a dream and the second she opened her eyes, he would be gone. But once she somewhat gathered herself, she pulled back and hit his chest with her fists. 

“Where the hell were you!” Y/N cursed. 

Jake was surprised, she never cursed, “I was-” 

“I thought you died!” She hit his chest again, and continued to hit his toned chest as she spoke, “ You didn’t come home! I put your son to bed and then came in here and opened that blasted damn envelope and read the letter and-” 

Jake cut her off by pulling her into his arms again. He couldn’t believe the words that escaped her mouth. She thought he died. She opened the envelope and thought he was dead. A couple tears escaped Jake’s eyes as he pulled back and held her face in his hands. He smashed his lips to hers. She relaxed a bit in his touch. 

“I will never, ever leave you, ever,” He said, looking into her eyes, “I’m so sorry. Things hit the fan yesterday. We almost lost Maverick and Rooster-” 

“Are they okay?” 

“They’re fine, a little banged up, but they’re okay,” Jake said, “I’m so sorry baby I made you think that I. . . I’m sorry.” He hugged her again, “Is the little man still awake?” 

“No,” She shook her head and pulled back from the hug, “He’s long since been to bed.” Jake wiped a tear away with his thumb. Y/N looked up at him, and connected their lips. Jake kissed her back, as one of her hands went to pull on the hair at the back of his neck. His hands went to her waist, roaming her back, before going to her ass and pulling her into his lap. She gasped at the feeling, as his lips went from her mouth to her jawline, kissing up and down her jawline to her collarbones. 

“I missed you,” Jake said against her skin. 

“Show me,” She said breathlessly, “Show me how much you missed me.” 

Jake nodded, and rolled them so she was on her back and he was hovering above her. Jake took his time loving her. Every kiss had passion behind it. Every touch was like being touched for the first time again. Every thrust was slow and deep, making her feel him deep within her. Her back arched and Jake assured her over and over that he was there, and that he loved her and that he’d never leave her. When her orgasm hit her in waves, Jake held her tightly, and emptied himself deep within her. When they both came down, they laid next to each other bare, talking about random things and Jake would share bits and pieces of the mission. That was how the rest of the night would play out, making love to each other and letting each other know that they weren’t ever going to leave. 

— — — 

Jake sat on the back patio the next morning, watching the sunrise as the waves crashed, a cup of coffee in his hand. He wore nothing more than a pair of sweatpants and enjoyed the quiet morning. He knew after the activities of last night, that Y/N was probably going to sleep until late morning. He smirked at the memories of her clawing at his back or pulling on his hair, her soft moans in his ear. But then he frowned, remembering her tear stained face when he walked into the bedroom, and how she had thought he had died. He turned his head at the sound of the back door sliding open and smiled at his wife. She walked towards him and put her hands on his shoulders. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. 

“I thought you would still be sleeping,” Jake said looking up at her. 

“The bed was cold,” Y/N smiled, “And then Alex woke up not long after.” 

“Where is he?” Jake asked, just as Alex came running out of the house. 

“Daddy!” He smiled and Jake stood up from his chair to catch him in his arms. 

“My baby!” Jake smiled and picked him up in his strong arms, kissing all over his face. Alex giggled and tried to push his father away. And that’s when Hangman noticed Alex’s shirt. Y/N watched as his face contorted in confusion and then surprise as he looked at her, “Are you. . . Really?” 

“Yeah,” She smiled, biting her lip. 

“I knew it. . . I knew it!” Jake exclaimed and wrapped her in hug, “The night of the grill out, I noticed the way you placed a hand on your belly, you did that all the time with Alex and the-the you haven’t been cooking eggs in the morning and-” 

“Dada, I be a big brother!” Alex smiled, looking at his shirt. 

“Yeah, yeah you are!” Jake smiled, “I’m going to be a dad again.” 

“Yeah, you are,” Y/N smiled. 

And nine months later, Olivia Monica Seresin was born.

-- -- --

taglist: @positivelyholland @nessamc @n3ssm0nique

taglist form:)

#top gun #top gun imagine #top gun x reader #top gun fanfic #top gun fic #top gun angst #top gun fluff #Jake seresin #jake seresin imagine #Jake seresin x reader #Jake seresin fic #Jake seresin angst #Jake seresin fluff #hangman seresin x reader #hangman imagine #hangman fic #hangman seresin fanfic #hangman seresin imagine #Jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x reader #rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #natasha phoenix trace #bob floyd #penny benjamin #top gun maverick #pete mitchell

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Nothing Compares 2 You

Pairing: RockstarEddieMunsonxReader

Request: Thank you to @munsonfire for this request and for allowing me the use of her edit! I love emotional drama and you are very good at it (as you are very good at everything else). Eddie has to leave town because he's becoming famous and they break up. They still love each other after all these years, but they've never spoken to each other. Eddie may have had many girls in his life, she may have always followed him in the tabloids and thought he had forgotten about her. somehow, by chance, they might see each other again... when she thought she'd never see him again?

Word Count: 7.5K

18+ ONLY

“I don’t understand why we’re going to Rockefeller Center in October,” you mused, walking along with your best friends, Nancy and Robin. “Isn’t seeing the massive Christmas tree and ice skating the whole point of Rockefeller Center?”

Nancy sighed, looping her arm through yours, “Yes, but the whole area is full of shops and great restaurants. We can do a little shopping and grab a late lunch.  And how can we travel to New York City and not see Rockefeller Center?”

You shrugged. The three of you were having a girls long weekend in New York City. Only Nancy would want her bachelorette party to be a weekend of Broadway, culture, and history. The three of you had seen Anna Kerenina last night and it had been amazing. You’d also gone to Central Park, gone to the top of the Empire State Building, seen Times Square, and gone to The Met. Tomorrow was supposed to be the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. 

Jonathan had popped the question last Christmas and your two friends were getting married in November. They were keeping the wedding fairly small. You and Robin were the only bridesmaids. Jonathan’s brother, Will, and his friend, Argyle, were the groomsman. The guys were doing a camping weekend, inviting along the rest of the crew. Jonathan and Nancy were not interested in the usual partying or strippers and while it may seem odd to most, you thought it was actually kind of refreshing.

As you approached Rockefeller center, you smiled. It was a perfect fall day, a world of color and warmth. The leaves were changing, the trees blazing in shades of red and orange. The sky was a clear, bright blue and you could sense the excitement in the air, the city vibrant and full of life. It felt like walking through a painting, every corner you turned a new picture full of beauty and wonder. 

“Oh!” Robin squealed, darting away from the two of you. “They have thrift stores!”

“Oh boy,” you laughed, you and Nancy shaking your heads at each other as you followed Robin into ‘The City Opera Thrift Shop.’ 

Robin looked like a kid in a candy store as she perused the mish mash of clothing on racks, sorted by size and then color. Robin was not a shopping kind of girl unless you got her into a thrift store. The girl loved nothing more than quirky and cheap. Growing up in a family that had to pinch every penny had taught her to be frugal. You loved her sense of fashion because it was so uniquely her. 

You meandered over to a rack of concert shirts, pushing them back one by one. Band tees were your go-to on weekends and oversized ones made the best pajamas. Used ones already had that soft, worn, washed feeling, leaving you from having to break them in. You pulled out a Black Crowes one, holding it up to yourself and your entire body froze, as if ice water had been dumped over your head, when you caught sight of the shirt that had been hiding behind it. 

A strangled sob lodged in your throat, cutting off your air supply, your hand moving on its own in slow motion. Your fingers gripped the side, running over the black cotton. Your eyes devoured the jagged lettering, like words carved into wood. You knew it intimately because you’d been the one who had drawn it years ago in high school. 

It was from their first tour, four years ago, in 1988. Your eyes slipped closed as you swallowed hard, forcing the sob down, locking it back into the dark box you tried to keep everything that had to do with him trapped in. But the image of him, those big brown eyes pleading with you to understand that he had to go, begging you to come with him, flashed behind your lids and your eyes shot open against the assault to your heart. 

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Robin called from the front of the store, a large bag hanging off of her arm. 

“Uh…yeah…” you cried out, shoving the Black Crowes shirt back in front of the shirt you wished you’d never seen, covering it up the same way you’d covered up everything to do with him. Out of sight, out of mind. At least that was how it was supposed to work.

Who were you kidding? That had never been how it had worked. How could it when he was everywhere you looked? His music videos were all over MTV, he was on every show doing interviews and performances, and forget about going to a store. That face that had haunted you for five years was plastered across every magazine. 

He clearly wasn’t thinking about you. He’d moved on, being pictured with a different woman on his arm every week. Making out with some supermodel at a party, having lunch with the hottest young actress in Hollywood, or catching some groupie’s panties on stage. The man had gotten what he’d always wanted. He was a rockstar, known across the world. He was the guy every woman wanted to fuck. He was the guy every guy wanted to be. He’d gotten out of Hawkins, away from their small minded ignorance, away from you. 

“Hey, you okay?” asked Nancy, her eyes narrowing in concern as you followed them out of the store. 

“Yeah,” you replied, forcing a smile on your face, “I’m good. So, what’s next?”

“More shopping, obviously,” giggled Nancy. “I need to find something for my mom. She’s always wanted to come to New York so I want to get her something very New York but not like the silly tourist stuff, you know? No snowglobes or keychains. I want to find her something cool.”

“Okay, well, then let’s get on it,” you stated, relieved to have a mission to focus your energy on to keep you from slipping down into that dark hole. That dark hole you’d disappeared down for six months after he’d left, that dark hole you swore you wouldn’t allow to swallow you anymore.

You spent the next hour and half in and out of stores, Nancy insisting nothing was right for her mom. You’d pointed out hand painted bags, shirts, paintings of the skyline, but nothing seemed to be right. Just as you were getting ready to give up for now and grab some lunch, Nancy gasped, pointing ahead. 

“The NBC Studios shop!” she squealed. “My mom loves Jay Leno. Her and Dad were so upset when Carson was leaving but they wound up loving Leno. They watch it every single night. I bet I could find her something there.”

She grabbed onto yours and Robin’s hands and dragged you through the doors of the shop before instantly abandoning you to peruse all the merchandise. You looked over at Robin and shrugged, the two of you splitting up to browse yourselves. There was an entire section of merchandise just for popular shows on the channel.

You picked up an X-men mug, thinking Dustin would love it but you quickly put it back. If you bought him something that would be an avalanche of spending you couldn’t stop or afford. You couldn’t get him something without bringing something back for all of them. You’d never hear the end of it from Mike, Lucas, or Max if you got Dustin something and not them. Will would be gracious about it. El would probably be confused as to why she should care. Steve would definitely give you shit, offended, claiming you loved Dustin more than him. 

Just as Nancy walked over, triumphant, with a mug and a shirt, you turned, your attention caught by a cavalcade of dark SUVs pulling up in front of the building. Your two friends spun to see what had caught your eye and Nancy sucked in a sharp breath. 

“Oh…I bet it’s someone famous. Someone who’s going to be on the Tonight Show or something. Who do you think it is?”

You shrugged, “How would I know? I don’t want it. Do either of you know who’s supposed to be on tonight?”

Robin shook her head, “No idea. Nancy, you said your parents watch it every night.”

“They do, but I don’t. I mean, I have here and there when someone I like is going to be on. But I haven’t watched tv all week so I haven’t even seen a preview. I was too busy with wedding plans and getting ready to leave for our trip.”

You watched curiously as a big guy in a suit with an earpiece came around the side of the SUV and pulled the door open. A familiar mop of curly dishwater blond hair appeared first, followed by the sweet face of one of your favorite people in the world. It should have filled you with pleasure to see him again, the guy who’d always treated you like a little sister, but instead a sense of dread seeped into your body. No. It couldn’t be. Because if he was here, then that meant…

You were falling, slipping sideways, as your world tilted on its axis at the sight of him climbing out of the SUV. Those coffee hued eyes were concealed by a large pair of sunglasses but you didn’t need to see them because they were forever imprinted on your brain. He looked so damn good, of course he did. In place of his usual ripped jeans and leather jacket, he wore a fitted brown suit, a white dress shirt unbuttoned just enough to provide you a peek of his chest.

“Oh shit,” muttered Robin. 

“Hey…hey…” Nancy called out next to you, her hand holding your bicep in a vice grip, as if she were scared you’d collapse which was a very real possibility at this moment. “Hey, you okay?”

You couldn’t answer. You had no air. Your throat tightened, your lungs were paralyzed, unable to pull in precious oxygen. You were trapped, suffocating under the weight of memories, memories you’d buried deep but that now broke free, flashing before your mind like a slideshow of pain. Eddie winking at you from the stage at the Hideout, him leaning against your locker after class, lying in the back of his van sharing a joint, sitting on his bed as he worked on a new song, dancing at prom, the day he left…image after image attacked you, a knife slicing into you over and over, leaving you bleeding and helpless. 

“I…no…I can’t…” you whimpered, shaking your head, taking small steps backwards as if you could run from him, as if he wasn’t about to come through the exact entrance you would need to escape. 

“Hey, calm down. It’s okay,” Nancy urged but her words fell on deaf ears. 

You were drowning, everything muffled, the lights were too bright. You couldn’t breathe. Your hands clawed at the neck of your shirt, a v-neck, which was in no way hindering anything but it felt like it. Your clothes felt restricting, too tight, caging you in. 

One of the large men pushed open the door as two others flanked Eddie, leading him through it. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant came behind him, each with their own bodyguards. Jesus, there must have been twelve guys with them, covering them on all sides, the front, and the back, ensuring no one was getting close to them. That was fine. There wasn’t anything you wanted less.

As they passed in front of the gift shop’s floor to ceiling windows, you took two more steps back, bumping into a mannequin, sending it crashing to the floor along with a display of drinking glasses. A clerk glared over at you with a sigh, coming over to assess the damage. But that wasn’t what you were focusing on as Eddie’s head turned toward the sound. He stilled, pulling the sunglasses off his face, and there was those eyes, going wide as he took in the sight of you standing in the middle of the shop. 

“Shit…no…no, no, no, no…” you pleaded, eyes darting from one side to the other, desperately seeking a way out of this situation but there was none unless you were willing to run past him.

“It’s okay, just breathe. It’s okay.” Nancy’s hands rubbed over your arms, attempting to soothe but only succeeding in making you even more agitated. 

You shrugged her off as Eddie leaned into one of his bodyguards, whispering something in his ear. You were frozen, your feet stuck to the floor as the burly guy nodded and followed Eddie, pulling the door open. Suddenly the man you’d only seen in pictures and on television for the last five years was standing in front of you and you wished the Earth would open up and swallow you whole. 

“Princess? Robin? Nancy? What are you three doing in New York?” Eddie asked, his sunglasses held between his thumb and forefinger, his eyes never leaving yours. He looked as if he had seen a ghost, as if you were a mirage. 

“Girl’s weekend before my wedding,” answered Nancy when you hadn’t responded. 

“Wedding?” Eddie’s eyebrows lifted, but still he didn’t look at her, his eyes glued on you as if you would disappear if he looked away. “You and Jonathan?”

“Yeah. He popped the question last Christmas,” she replied. “So, how’s the rockstar life?”

“Huh? Oh…uh, you know.” He shrugged. “Very rockstar.” His head tilted, those brown eyes threatening to pull you under, to consume you entirely. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t. “I can’t believe you’re here. I, well, I have to do this Tonight Show thing. It could take a few hours but would you want to come to my hotel after?”

His hotel? Was he serious? There was no way you could trust yourself alone in a room with him. Your body reacted to him, remembered him, his fingertips an imprint on your skin. This man who had known you more intimately than anyone else had in your entire life. This man who had been your first. This man who you’d thought would be your only before he shattered your heart. 

Robin’s hand wrapped around yours, sensing the distress your body was under as Nancy stepped in front of you. Your friends who had been there, who had witnessed that dark time in your life, who had been the ones to pull you back from the edge just as you were ready to plummet into the abyss. 

“How about you give us the information and let her think about it?” Nancy offered.

“Princess?” Eddie asked, concerned, his face peering around Nancy to find you again but this time you looked away. “Look, I just want to talk. I haven’t seen you in…god, it’s been…”

“Five years,” you mumbled, shocked at the sound of your own voice. 

“I know,” he said softly. “Trust me. I know exactly how long it’s been. Look, if you tell me where you’re staying, I can have my driver pick you up. Or if you’d prefer, I can come to you. Just tell me your hotel and room number and I can come over after. I can bring dinner or we can order something or we can go out somewhere if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Look, Eddie,” Robin began, stepping into him, forcing him to step back. “She’s a bit overwhelmed at seeing you. I’m sure you can understand that.”

“I can because I feel exactly the same. I just want to talk.”

“Well, maybe she does and maybe she doesn’t but maybe you need to take a step back and give her some time to process all of this,” Nancy suggested calmly. “Give us your information and she can have a couple hours to decide what she wants to do.”

But you knew what you wanted. Of course you knew. There hadn’t been a choice from the moment you’d seen Gareth, knowing Eddie was not far behind. Seeing the man you’d been hopelessly in love with years after he left left you in a flurry of mixed emotions. You were both overjoyed to see that face you’d adored so much and overcome with old memories and thoughts of what could have been if he’d never left. A tug-of-war between the past and the present, battling for your heart with such force you feared it would rip in two. 

Yet, even with all the conflict inside you, there was never any doubt of what you would do if given the choice. Wasn’t this the exact kind of situation you’d fantasized about endless times? Running into him, him missing you, him telling you that you’d always been the only one for him, that he still loved you.

“Room 1562 at The Mayfair,” you said, all three heads turning to look at you as you inhaled deeply and brought your eyes back to his face. “And you can bring food. That’s fine.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours then,” Eddie said, giving you that smile that swept your feet out from under you every damn time. “I can’t wait. Thank you, princess.”

Blinking back tears, you walked past him, past his slack jawed bandmates, ignoring Gareth when he called out to you, and out of the building. You weren’t trying to be bitchy but you had to get out of there. If you didn’t get some fresh air to your brain, you were going to pass out. Stopping on the sidewalk, you gulped in precious oxygen, wondering what in the hell you’d just gotten yourself into.

The door flew open, your two best friends flying out and running over to your side. Nancy’s hand came to your back. Robin’s arm locked around yours, the two of them guiding you away from the building, understanding that you needed distance. 

“Holy shit…holy shit…” Robin gasped. “I cannot believe that just happened. Are you okay?”

“I had no idea. I am so sorry,” Nancy crooned, her hand making soothing circles over your back. “Who would have thought of all the weekends in the year, the one we chose to come to New York, Eddie would be here?”

“Not me,” you managed, a nervous giggle, frantic and squeaky exploding from you. 

“Honey, are you sure you want to do this?” Nancy questioned. 

“Yeah. If you’re rethinking this, we can go get our stuff and check out right now. We can switch hotels. He’ll never know where to find us,” Robin told you. “You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”

“No…no…I do,” you assured them, slowly coming down from the very near panic attack you’d just experienced. “I do. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. It’s okay. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be painful but maybe it will also be good.”

“Good? Do you remember how you were after he left? Because we do,” Robin commented, one eyebrow lifting. “You don’t have to subject yourself to that again.”

“I know. I know. But he’s not a bad guy. He didn’t try to hurt me. He had an amazing opportunity and he couldn’t pass it up. And I am happy for him. Really, I am. It sucked but he’s not the bad guy. There is no bad guy in this story. It was an impossible situation. I’ll be okay. I was just taken by surprise. It was unexpected but I am expecting him to show up later so it will be fine.” Her two friends eyebrows lifted, eyes narrowed, lips pursed. “Seriously, it will be fine.”

____________________________________________________________

It wasn’t fine. Nothing about this was fine. You paced across the floor of your hotel room as you’d been doing for the last hour. You had no idea when he was arriving. How long did a taping for The Tonight Show take? Why would you know that? You had no experience in the world of celebrity. Maybe he wasn’t coming at all. Maybe he’d thought about it and realized that he didn’t need to waste his time seeing you. He had gorgeous women throwing themselves at him all the time. Why would he sacrifice an evening with a supermodel to hang out with his average ex-girlfriend from small town Hawkins?

This was ridiculous. Why had you agreed to this? What good was seeing him going to do? Just the sight of the man had brought on a panic attack, a shirt with his band’s name had sent you spiraling down the rabbit hole of sadness. Didn’t you know this? How many times had you lost track of time, disappearing into memories when you’d spotted his face on a magazine cover at the store? 

No, you definitely should not have given him your hotel information. You should have said it was nice to see him, good luck with his appearance, and then left. Polite but keeping everything casual. You hadn’t been anything to him for five years. Five years was a long time. He’d obviously moved on. What did it say about you that you hadn’t?

Sure, you’d dated. You had that thing with Dylan that lasted for a year but it ended eight months ago when he confronted you, demanding to know if you were in love with him and you couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. You wanted to be in love with him. You wanted to be able to give someone else your heart fully but it had never belonged to you. It wasn’t yours to give. Your heart was currently touring the world and maybe it was time you got it back. Maybe that was what this meeting would do for you. You could finally sever that string, take back what was yours so you could move on and give it to someone else. 

A sharp knock on your door paused your thoughts, your feet skidding to a stop on the carpet. Your entire body responded to the possibility of Eddie on the other side of that door, heart racing, lungs rushing, the hair on your arms raising. Closing your eyes, you took in a slow inhale through your nose and then calmly walked over, opening it. 

“Oh!” you shrieked in surprise to find one of the large bodyguards standing on the other side. He pushed past you and began looking around the room, checking in closets, under the bed, and in the bathroom.

Eddie shrugged, smiling sheepishly at you, “Sorry about this. They’re very serious about my safety.”

The bodyguard appeared content that nothing was lurking in your room to attack his charge. He gave Eddie a small nod, saying, “Jack and I will be right outside the door.”

“How about just down the hall, man?” Eddie suggested. “A little privacy, maybe?”

The big man did not appear happy about it but he nodded, “Just down the hall. We’ve given very strict instructions that no one is to be allowed onto this floor until you leave, unless they are being escorted by James. He’s down in the lobby.”

“Got it. I feel very safe,” Eddie assured him, closing the door behind him. He turned to you, eyes rolling, hooking his thumb toward the door. “These guys are so fucking annoying but management insists. I had a stalker situation last year and ever since then, I’ve gone nowhere without Mr. Tall and Surly.”

“You had a stalker?” you asked, a weight weighing heavy in your stomach at the thought of him being in any danger. 

Eddie shook his head with a snort, wild brown waves tossing around as he began unpacking a large brown bag onto the table, “It was nothing. Seriously. Some twenty year old who had convinced herself that we were destined to be or something. She sent notes and flowers. It was all harmless at first until she managed to figure out where we were staying and I got back late one night to her hiding in my closet.” He chuckled darkly, opening containers, the smell of Italian food permeating the room. “Scared the shit out of me, let me tell you. But she didn’t have any weapons or anything. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. She just wanted to convince me we were soulmates. Hotel security showed up and escorted her out. Poor thing was clearly struggling with some kind of mental illness. I tried to convince CJ, our manager, that it wasn’t a big deal but ever since then he’s been adamant that we have a security detail.”

“Well, better safe than sorry,” you sighed, moving over to sit across from him at the table as he took a seat. “I mean, stalker situations can be very scary. You’re lucky she wasn’t out to hurt you.”

“I guess.” He held up a container of chicken alfredo. “This still your favorite?”

“Uh…yeah,” you nodded, smiling as he scooped down on your plate, along with garlic bread. “Thanks.”

“Well, I was trying to figure out what to grab and then I remembered how much you love Italian food. You always picked Enzo’s for your birthday dinner. You still go there every year?”

“No. I don’t. This past birthday, I actually went out of town for my dinner to a new Thai place in Indy. Dylan didn’t really like…” You stopped, pressing your lips together. Shit. Why had you mentioned Dylan? And no, you hadn’t stepped foot in Enzo’s in five years. That had been your and Eddie’s place. You couldn’t stand the thought of going in there without him.

“Dylan?” asked Eddie, not missing a beat. He sat up, leaning back in his chair, legs spreading wide, those ring clad fingers running over his thighs as he looked at you. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“He was.”

“Was? What happened?”

You swallowed hard. This was not a topic you wanted to be discussing with him. But you’d been the one to open the flood gates, to stick your big old foot in your mouth.

“We broke up,” you replied with a shrug. “It wasn’t really going anywhere, you know? He was nice. I liked him. But he asked me if I was in love with him and I just…I couldn’t lie. So, he ended it. It was probably for the best anyway.” You needed to change the subject before he had you admitting things you did not want. “So, anyway, who cares about me? I’m still living the same boring life in Hawkins. I want to know about you, the big rockstar.”

Eddie flushed, those cheeks turning bright ride as he grabbed onto his hair, bringing it across his mouth. Your heart tugged, remembering how he did this when he was embarrassed or uncomfortable. 

“It’s not as amazing as it sounds. I mean, it is. I love playing music for a living. I love being in the recording studio, working through the kinks with the guys, that moment when we finally get it right. There is nothing like standing on that stage, a sea of people screaming for you, singing your songs back at you. That part is…there really are no words. But the rest of it, all the interviews, the photo shoots, the required appearances at different functions, that’s just all the extra shit that I have to do to keep management happy. Sleeping in a different town every night gets exhausting. Sometimes I really do lay back at night and dream of my simple life back in Hawkins…sometimes I dream about that last night, laying next to you under the stars. I’ve missed you, princess.”

You swallowed, emotion threatening to choke you at his words, “Eddie…”

“What?”

“Don’t, okay? Please don’t.”

“Don’t what? Tell you that I miss you?”

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, closing your eyes and shaking your head, tears building up behind your eyelids. “I can’t. You have no idea. You have no idea what it was like for me when you left. You have no idea how hard it was.”

“But I do know how hard it was,” he argued, reaching for your hand but you pulled it back quickly. “I know exactly how hard it was because it was hard for me too.”

“Really? It was hard for you,” you challenged, eyes opening to glare at him. “It must have been really hard to have those models suctioned to your lips, to have your hand up the skirt of beautiful actresses you were dining with, to be sleeping with a different girl every night. I saw all the photos, Eddie. Your epic love life has graced the pages of many magazines.”

His eyes widened, nostrils flaring, “Yeah, okay? I’ve had a pretty healthy sex life since I left. I was a goddamn mess for a while. I was burying myself in other women because I was trying to forget you.”

“Well, good for you. I’m glad that worked for you! Because nothing ever worked for me!” you cried, jumping up so hard you knocked the chair back.

“It didn’t work for me! And how can you be so pissed off at me? I begged you to come with me and you refused. Do you really hate me for chasing after my dream? You knew I wanted to play music when we started dating. You knew I would go for it if I could.”

“No. I don’t hate you. Fuck, I wish I could hate you because it would make things so much easier but I can’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t fault you for chasing your dreams. And look at the life you have now. I’m proud of you, Eddie. I really am, but I…I never thought I would recover when you left.”

“Neither did I but I begged you, princess! I begged you to come with me!”

“I know you did but what would that have even looked like, Eddie? What? Me waiting in hotel rooms while you trekked from place to place? Me becoming the third wheel that was dragging you down because your focus wasn’t solely on the band? I couldn’t be that person. I couldn’t become someone you resented because I was standing in the way of you getting what you wanted. And obviously you’ve gotten it. You’ve moved on! Good for you. I can’t. I’m still stuck in that town where memories of you assault me on a daily basis. I can’t get away from you!”

“You think I’ve moved on?” he demanded, rising from his chair. 

“You obviously have. I’ve seen the evidence. I know about you and that starlet. It’s been five years. Of course you moved on. You have this exciting life, traveling all over, meeting all kinds of people. You should have moved on but then you don’t get to come in here and give me those damn eyes and tell me you’ve missed me. That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” Eddie’s eyes flashed as he began moving forward, backing you up with each step until he was so close you could feel his breath fanning your face. “Moved on? Princess, I have never moved on. You crawled inside me. You’re in my blood, my fucking skin. No matter how many women I’ve fucked, I never moved on. You want to talk about not fair. Not fair is your face haunting me everytime I’m fucking someone else, wishing it was you beneath me. Not fair is you suddenly being in my town, finally within reach, and you telling me I don’t get to tell you how much I’ve missed you. Not fair is how badly I want to bury myself inside you right now even knowing it will destroy me because it will have been worth it.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, stepping back again, the backs of your knees hitting the bed and sending you toppling onto your back on the mattress. Those brown eyes darkened with lust, the only warning you had before he was on top of you, fists on either side of your head, gazing down at you with such desire that you were sure to drown in it. 

“This is a bad idea,” you managed to choke out, knowing his words were true. Allowing him to consume you would mean the end of you but you didn’t have the strength to stop it because you wanted this. Jesus, you wanted this so badly. 

“Yeah, it probably is,” he rasped, ducking his head down, his nose trailing over your cheek and down along your neck, inhaling the scent of you, sending shivers racing down your spine and straight between your thighs. “But I don’t fucking care. Let me have you, princess, even if it's only for one night.”

“Yes…”

You barely had the word out before his lips were on yours, devouring you like a man starved. Your lungs expanded as if this kiss were breathing life back into you. Your heart jumped, responding, coming back from being dormant for so long the moment his lips touched yours. Your soul pulled, reaching for him, recognizing in him the thing it had been missing for too long. 

“I’ve missed you,” he growled, teeth pulling at your bottom lip before his tongue slid past and over yours. You met it, the two reacquainting themselves, dancing to a tune you both remembered the steps to as if it had just been yesterday. 

A large hand slid along the outer edge of your thigh, up your dress, cool metal pressing into your skin as he gripped your ass through your panties and you whimpered at the feel of those hands on you again. His lips moved, exploring every inch of your face and neck, leaving no part of you untouched. 

“You smell so damn good,” he whispered, tongue snaking along the column of your throat. “Taste good too.”

Your body shuddered. His other hand grabbed onto the strap of your dress, dragging it down your shoulder and arm until the cool air hit your exposed breast. 

“Fuck, no bra, baby? Was that just for me?”

You could not formulate words as his mouth latched onto your nipple, sucking hard. His tongue lazily swirled, lavishing it with attention as he ground his erection down into you, fingers digging into your ass, pulling you as close as possible. His teeth raked over the tender bud and you cried out, back arching, pressing yourself against his face. 

“You like that, baby?” he crooned, doing it again, grinning when he got the exact reaction he wanted. “Feel good?”

“Yes, Eddie,” you whined, your hands grabbing at his leather jacket. He pulled back just long enough to pull it off and your fingers latched onto the hem of his shirt before he could stop you, needing to feel his skin. You sat up, his thighs straddling your, lifting it over his head and tossing it to the floor. 

Your eyes greedily ran over every inch of him, your fingers tracing the familiar tattoos inked over his skin before moving to the unfamiliar ones. He sighed at your touch, his eyes fluttering closed, his body exhaling as if in relief. There was a dragon running over his ribcage and a familiar guitar on his arm. Fuck, he was beautiful. He was still your Eddie, a bit more toned, but still lean and pale and just as perfect as you remembered. 

You pressed your lips against the black widow on his chest. Eddie moaned, one hand cradling the back of your head as your mouth explored his chest just as he’d explored yours. You teased one nipple and then the other, nibbling, enjoying the hiss of pleasure that escaped between his clenched teeth. And then you paused, your head snapping back, tears burning your eyes when you caught sight of the small black letters just to the left of the demon head he’d gotten when you were juniors. Your fingers reached out hesitantly, running over the letters.

“Is this…?” you breathed.

He glanced down, a soft smile curving his lips as he took your fingers, pressing a kiss to them, “Yeah. It’s a copy of the carving I put in that tree of our initials senior year.”

“But why? Why would you get that when we weren’t even together anymore?”

“Because,” Eddie began, those hands coming down on the mattress, leaning into you, forcing you to lie back as his mouth scorched your skin, trailing over your collarbone. “My heart is yours. It always has been. It doesn’t matter how far apart we are or if we’re together, it’s always been with you, sweetheart.” His hand slid under your dress again, palming your pussy over your panties and he hissed. “Fuck…your panties are already so wet. Is that all for me? Did she miss me?”

“So fucking much,” you whined, rolling your hips toward his hand, needing to feel his fingers on you, inside you. It had been so long and only Eddie knew how to bring you to earth shattering orgasm. No man since had made your toes curl the way he did.

Eddie’s nose ran over your hair, his tongue tracing the shell of your ear. His hand slid under your panties as he stretched out next to you, fingers slipping through your slick to find your aching clit. Your body bucked and you keened, arching as his thumb brushed over your clit. Small circles teased the sensitive little bud as two thick fingers pressed into you, your body immediately pulsing around them. 

“Mmm…she remembers,” he breathed against your ear, pulling your earlobe between his teeth. “She knows who she belongs to.”

“Fuck,” you whimpered, his words sending shockwaves of pleasure rocking through your body, your hips rolling to meet the pumping of his fingers. 

His fingers began scissoring, spreading you, preparing you for him just the way he used to. The pleasure coursing through you was like your own sweet little oasis. You had opened the door to a world you’d long hidden from yourself and any stress or worry about what this meant, what happened after this, disappeared. Eddie, his fingers, his words, his body, was all that mattered in this moment. 

He curled his fingers within you, hitting that spot that only he had ever found, that spot that had you seeing stars, that had you hurtling through the universe toward a never ending void. You screeched, eyes rolling back and then closing, chest heaving with every single gasp of air, knowing you weren’t going to be able to hold on much longer. 

A strong grip on your chin turned your head toward Eddie, “Open your eyes for me, beautiful. I’ve waited far too long for this. I want to see you lose control.”

It was a struggle, your body fighting back against you as it thrashed around in the waves of the storm that was your approaching orgasm. You finally opened your eyes, finding those brown ones that reminded you so much of perfectly melted chocolate staring into yours with such intensity that your stomach coiled even more. 

“You’re close, aren’t you, princess?” he asked with certainty. “I can feel it. Come on, baby. Let go for me.”

You screamed his name as your body trembled violently, your back arching, that knot in your stomach loosening. And then he was dragging your underwear down your legs, pushing his own pants and boxers past his hips. His lips were on yours and your hand slid between you, fisting his cock and the groan he released sent a whole new shock of pleasure through you. 

“Fuck baby, yes…” he moaned, his forehead rolling over yours. “Feels so good…missed you…missed your touch.”

His tongue slid into your mouth once again as you worked him in your hand and then teased him, guiding his cock through your slick, up and down. Each time the head of it bumped over your clit, you whimpered, the sound swallowed into his mouth. 

“Love when you use me to get off,” he growled. “Need to be inside you, sweetheart. You still on the pill?”

“Y…y…yes…” you stammered.

The word was barely out of your mouth before he thrust into you, pressing until his pelvis was flush with yours. You groaned simultaneously at the feel of your bodies connecting once again. Your pussy fluttered around him, as if welcoming him home, everything feeling as it should be for the first time in far too long.

“Jesus, baby, you feel so fucking good. So fucking good,” grunted Eddie, his body still, nose bumping over yours and you blinked when something wet fell onto your eye. Looking up, you saw he was crying and your heart squeezed as if in a vice. 

Your hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over the drop, collecting it. He smiled softly, pressing his lips to yours as he began to move his hips slowly, rutting within you each time until he was bottomed out. His arms came around your back, crushing you against him, melding your two bodies until no inch of you was untouched by him.

“Eddie, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you…” you breathed, fingers moving into his hair, your foreheads stamped together as he thrust into you as if he were trying to climb into your body.

“Me too, baby. Me too. This is how it’s supposed to be. You’re mine. You were always meant to be mine.” His mouth fell on your neck, biting and sucking, marking you. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours…yours…” you cried, feeling as you climbed toward release once again. 

“And I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. Just yours.” He growled, his fingertips digging into the flesh of your upper shoulders. “I’m gonna, princess. Cum with me, baby.”

It wasn’t a choice. You were barely hanging on by a thread. He buried himself deep within you, his body stilling as he cried out your name, his cock twitched, filling you with his release. Your head pressed into the pillow, legs locking around him, joining him in sweet ecstasy as you peaked once again. 

Eddie shuddered above you and then collapsed against you, his face buried against your neck. Your fingers toyed with his hair, tears burning your eyes. Fuck, you were going to pay for this. How long would you bury yourself in that miserable dark hole this time after you inevitably parted, after he headed off to be a rockstar again?

“Jesus H. Christ, princess…that was fucking amazing,” he sighed, nuzzling against your neck. “I love you.”

Your entire body stilled, completely rigid at his words. That vice around your heart tightened, threatening to crush it into a million pieces. No. You’d never recover from this. The sex would have been hard enough to get past but those words…this was too much. Silent tears slid down your cheeks. 

“Hey, hey,” Eddie soothed, his mouth pressing where the tears were. “Why the tears, princess? Why are you sad?”

“I can’t…I can’t do this,” you mumbled, attempting to sit up but his arms came around, pulling you back down to the bed, cradling you against his body. Tender kisses pressed against your forehead and you sunk into the safety and comfort of him, knowing it wouldn’t last. 

“Can’t do what?”

“What are we doing? You’re just going to leave again and I am going to have to try to get over you again. And I didn’t do a great job the first time. Why do you think I wasn’t in love with Dylan? Because I’ve never been able to get over you!”

“Baby, I never got over you either. I tried. And yes, I do have to leave again. That’s my job. But come with me.” His fingers brushed your hair back from your face, his eyes begging you the same they did five years ago. “Come on tour with me. You belong with me. I know it and so do you. Don’t make me have to live without you anymore.”

“Eddie, I don’t want to be in the way.”

“You won’t. You were worried the band wouldn’t take off if you were there distracting me but the band’s already taken off. The guys have missed you too. They would love to have you come along. Gareth’s got a girl and she travels with us. Nobody cares. Besides…” he grinned, teasing your neck with kisses, “you are the best kind of distraction.”

“I…I mean…”

“You mean what? I’ve been miserable without you. Are you telling me you haven’t been miserable without me?”

“No. I have,” you admitted. 

“Then come with me. Be with me. Let’s be happy.”

He was right. All of the reasons you’d had five years ago to not go on tour with them were mute at this point. Corroded Coffin was the most popular band in the world. You weren’t going to stop them from becoming big because they were already big. You tried picturing it, traveling the world with Eddie, seeing and experiencing things you never had before, sleeping next to him every night, getting to watch him on stage again. And you realized, you wanted it. You wanted it badly. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” His eyes lit up. “You’re going to come on the road with me?”

“Yes. I’m so tired of trying to be happy without you. I just want you. You’re what makes me happy.”

“Oh sweetheart, I am going to make you happy every day for the rest of forever, starting now,” he grinned, and then his lips were traveling down your body and your head was humming with bliss.

#eddie munson #eddie the banished #stranger things eddie #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x femreader #rockstar eddie munson x you #eddie munson rockstar au #eddie munson rockstar #rockstar eddie munson

[void-wolfie]

We Had Matching Wounds. Mine's Still Black and Bruised.

summary: Jenna's still grieving after you walk out on her, but you've already moved on.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: angst, maybe depression(?)... not exactly sure, let me know if I need to add something

words: 960

a/n: thanks to the anon who suggested The Exit by Conan Gray... wrote this pretty late at night so it might be trash who knows lol

Jenna's apartment was a mess; clothes splayed across every surface, dirty dishes stacked a mile high, and a pile of laundry that hadn't been done in weeks. All in all, it was safe to say she wasn't ok, not by a long shot.

She had barricaded herself in her room long ago. Refusing to move unless it was absolutely necessary, which wasn't often. She'd drowned herself in one of your oversized hoodies and a nest of blankets. If she wasn't asleep or crying, she was staring blankly at the ceiling or mindlessly scrolling through her phone.

A notification popped up across her phone. She stared at the headline, thinking about clicking on it. The dull numbness that’d consumed her days gave way to heartache the longer she stared.

Y/N and pop singer Olivia Rodrigo officially confirm their relationship!

She was finally at a place where she wasn't gnawed away by guilt and heartache every second of the day, a sort of depressive numbness settling in. But she knew seeing you with a new girlfriend would crush her, making the reality of your breakup all too real, all the more final. But at the same time, curiosity was eating away at her. The hope that maybe it was clickbait or fake news was naively tugging at the back of her mind.

Against her better judgment, she clicked on the article.

Everyone says a picture is worth a thousand words. A thousand words wouldn't begin to cover the extent of pain Jenna was feeling.

There at the front of the article was a screenshot from your Instagram. A post of you and Olivia kissing, with the caption; Happy three months, love <;3.

She felt sick to her stomach. She probably would've puked on the spot had she actually eaten anything in the past two days.

Three months. Those words shattered her already fragile heart.

Three months... The two of you broke up only four months ago.

She could still remember the night it all went wrong, like a broken record stuck on repeat.

"y/n?" She called out, setting her stuff down on the kitchen table.

It was a miserable day, it'd been raining all day and thunder could be heard in the distance. The run from her car to the front door left her soaked from the cold rain.

"y/n?" She called out again, only to get no response.

She padded into your shared bedroom, her hair leaving tiny water drops across the tile floor as she shivered in her wet clothes.

She stopped in her tracks. There was a suitcase on the bed full of your stuff, and you were packing more in.

"What's going on?"

"I'm leaving." You didn't spare her a glance, you knew if you did you'd only be inclined to stay. Those big brown eyes of hers would always be your weakness.

"Leaving?" You weren't leaving her, were you? Sure your relationship had been on the rocks as of late, countless arguments and nights spent yelling. But had it really gotten this bad?

"I can't do this anymore, Jenna."

"Do what?"

"This. Us." You closed the suitcase, zipping it up, still refusing to look at her, "The arguing, the late nights coming home, always feeling like your second choice. I just can't do it anymore."

You finally looked at her, seeing tears streaming down her freckled face. It broke your heart, but you had to protect yourself. Even if that meant breaking her.

"Do you even know what it feels like Jenna? To feel like your second choice? You come home late every other night, you're gone for months at a time, and you lie about who you're with and where you go. Do you even remember the last time you said ‘I love you’?"

"I..." She wanted to refute everything you'd said, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember the last time you had a movie night together or even ate dinner at the same table. She couldn't remember the last time she said those three words.

You had tears of your own streaming down your face, "3 months ago. You haven’t said it in three months."

Jenna was in a stupor. Her whole world was crumbling before her, and she was lost on how to fix it.

How had you moved on so quickly? It felt like only yesterday she was so deep in love, falling into a black hole of bliss with only you on her mind. She thought you felt the same, and maybe you did. But you'd already replaced her. With one of her friends, no less.

Jenna skipped reading the article. She didn't want some reporter's half-assed observations and opinions on your dating life. They didn't know you, and she could care less about their opinion.

She clicked over to Instagram, despite her shaking hands and teary eyes, and tortured herself with your latest post.

You looked happy. There were all kinds of pictures of you and Olivia together. Pictures of you two dancing in the rain, swimming at the lake, even one at that club she never had the time to take you to. Not to mention the abundance of candid photos fans had tagged the two of you in. Pictures of the two of you kissing, the two of you visiting that little ice cream shop by the beach, some at that little cafe by your house that had your favorite coffee.

To say it was agony was an understatement. There weren't words for her pain. She could never effectively describe the heartache that left her crying for hours on end, breathless and shaky from the exertion.

It hurt knowing she carved out her own heart for you and in the end, her downfall was her own doing.

You already found someone to miss, while I'm still standin' at the exit.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #void-wolfie

[babytarttdoodoo]

if you're feeling it, maybe something hurt-comfort-y with jamie turning up at roy's doorstep (maybe with keeley there, too, but your choice!) after an altercation with his dad?

Not as ‘mini’ as I had intended but I really wanted them to earn a hug at the end. I hope you enjoy it! Apologies for the wait - I was thoroughly distracted by Ao3’s revival (huzzah!).

If anyone else is wondering, I’ll still be taking prompts for a few days. Feel free to drop me an ask at any point!

(Prompt Fill Masterpost)

—

Roy wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see when he opened the door.

It was late. Dinner was long finished and there was some mindless talk show droning along on the tv. He hadn’t foreseen any more visitors.

But Jamie Tartt was seemingly here, there and every-fucking-where these days - including lingering awkwardly on Roy’s doorstep in the middle of the night.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

A year ago, there might have been heat and venom to the words. Now, Roy was just confused.

Jamie looked exhausted. He should have been home in bed, not fidgeting with his sleeves and avoiding Roy’s bewildered gaze.

“Alright?” Jamie cleared his throat, looking for all the world like he didn’t want to be there. “Look, I know it’s late. Can I, er…”

“Who is it, Roy?”

Keeley’s voice floated out from the living room and that, of course, was enough for Jamie to finally look up, wide-eyed and startled.

“Fuck.” he muttered emphatically, looking between Roy and the hall behind him. A hall that Roy could now hear Keeley’s soft footsteps approaching from.

He gritted his teeth against echoing Jamie’s sentiment and held up his hands.

“We were just…”

“No it’s fine, I’ll…”

Their voices stumbled over each other, suddenly sounding too loud in the quiet of the dark street.

“Jamie?” Keeley’s tone of concern cut right through them both as she leaned around Roy to get a look at who had come calling. “Oh, babe, you look awful.”

Roy winced and didn’t turn to look at her, focused as he was on Jamie’s reaction. Keeley was still such a raw, sensitive topic between them. He hadn’t dared to bring her up at all when they were alone since that stupid fight and Jamie had seemingly taken his lead, happy to avoid further confrontation.

He could only imagine how this looked after that whole mess.

But instead of twisting up in anger or hurt, Jamie’s face just sort of… collapsed in on itself and he huffed a sad, tired little laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I reckon that’s probably true.”

Now that was really fucking concerning. “C’mere.”

Roy reached out and grasped Jamie’s shoulder, tugging him in towards the doorway. “Get inside. I’ll put the kettle on.”

Jamie moved without complaint and Keeley immediately wrapped an arm around him, guiding his stooped frame towards the nearest couch while shooting Roy an alarmed look behind his back.

Right. Tea. He needed tea for whatever the fuck this was.

The familiar routine gave him something to focus his hands on while his mind whirled. He even put a bit of sugar in Jamie’s mug, though the footballer tended not to ask for it during the season.

It was a bit of a balancing act getting all three drinks out to the living room but he managed not to spill anything, eventually setting everything down on the dark wood of his coffee table.

Keeley had gotten Jamie settled though, Roy noticed, he’d gone back to tugging at the hems of his sleeves as she rubbed circles into his back.

“Right.” Roy swallowed, trying to clear some of the gruffness from his voice, and made a conscious effort not to just cross his arms and… loom. He took a seat. “You going to tell us what’s happened, then?”

Not the gentlest way he could have broached the subject but not the worst either.

“It…” The words seemed to catch in Jamie’s throat on his way out and he gave his head a little shake. “It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have come over. I’m sorry, I’ll leave you two to… to…”

He waved his hands around, encompassing the thrilling evening they’d clearly been having in comfy clothes in front of the telly. Keeley was already taking a hold of his arm so he wouldn’t get up.

“Don’t, Jamie. You aren’t interrupting anything.” she said firmly, glancing over at Roy. Not like she expected him to contradict her, but begging for backup.

“She’s right,” he agreed. “And even if you were, it’s not like I would just chuck you out, you muppet.”

Jamie stared at him, blinking a little stupidly at that revelation. “Oh. Er, yeah. Right. Obviously.”

Roy barely (just barely) refrained from rolling his eyes. The surprise wasn’t entirely unwarranted, he supposed. They didn’t have the best track record with ‘empathy’.

“Look, babes, you don’t have to tell us anything, yeah?” Keeley took over again, much better at speaking tactfully than Roy ever could be - particularly since he wasn’t especially keen on getting no explanation for what was going on. “But you’ve got us pretty worried now. We need to know you’re alright.”

Jamie heaved a deep breath and, after a moment, seemed to accept the truth of that and nodded. “Me dad came round. That’s all. It. It’s fine, I’m fine. I just…”

He brought his hands up to scrub at his face and so thankfully missed whatever Roy’s eyebrows were doing with that information. It was likely not good.

It took a humongous effort to not sound ready to start smashing skulls in when he found his voice again. “What. What did he do?”

Jamie shrugged, sinking more completely back into Keeley’s willing embrace and for some godforsaken reason still not looking at Roy directly.

“Shouted a bit. Hammered on the door. Didn’t let him in, did I?” That was good. That was fucking spectacular but Jamie wasn’t finished. “He’d been drinking.”

Ah.

Roy was aware that the piece of shit that called himself Jamie’s father had (apparently) been getting sober. Jamie had even gone up to Manchester a couple of times to see him, demonstrating more bravery and straight up decency than Roy had known anyone could be capable of.

That dick did not deserve his son’s support and Roy had not exactly been shy about voicing his opinion when Jamie had confided in him what he was doing with his rare days off.

“There was a City game in town tonight, weren’t there?” Keeley’s voice startled Roy out of his dark thoughts. She was frowning, still holding onto Jamie but looking to Roy for confirmation.

“He ain’t supposed to go to games,” Jamie mumbled, speaking to his own knees. “He promised.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Roy snatched up his tea out of a desperate need to do something with his hands and to buy himself a few moments to calm down. He drank deeply from his still too hot mug and counted to ten in his head, trying to drag the frazzled ends of his control back to heel like he’d practised with Dr Sharon.

Okay.

“Jamie.” He was pleased with himself that no anger had seeped into his tone. “Look at me. Please.”

It felt like an age before the eyes peeking out from that ridiculous boyband fringe met his own, but they did.

“You’re safe here, alright? I’m glad you got away and that you came here. He isn’t getting anywhere near you tonight. Understood?” Roy waited for Jamie’s cautious nod before he continued. “It’s your call what happens next. If you want to call the police or whoever’s supposed to be keeping an eye on him in Manchester.”

That raised some very good questions for another day.

“But it’s up to you, whatever you want to do. You’ve got me in your corner. And Keeley.”

She nodded vigorously and squeezed Jamie in agreement. “Of course you do, darling. You just let us know what you need.”

Jamie smiled a little and knocked the side of his head gently against Keeley’s. He leaned into her so easily that it made Roy’s chest feel tight. Right now, he was so, so grateful for it.

“You ain’t going to say you told me so?” The quiet question gutted out Roy’s stomach. 

Had Jamie come expecting a lecture? For Roy to ridicule him or turn him away?

“I… have my… Opinions. About your father.” he said carefully, acutely aware of the thin line he was treading. But he held Jamie’s gaze. “My opinion hardly fucking matters, though, does it?

“You’re your own man, Jamie. And you’re a damn good one.” Roy drew in a shaky breath. “I wouldn’t have given him another chance. Not after what he’s done. But you’re the better person for doing that. So, no, I'm not going to say 'I told you so' or anything else that isn't my fucking business.”

Jamie was hanging on his every word. It struck Roy sometimes - the power that he had over the infuriating, brilliant force of nature that was Jamie Fucking Tartt. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve that trust but he’d be damned if he was going to fuck it up again.

“What I will say, is that walking away now wouldn't make you a bad person or whatever the fuck else you’re thinking about it.” The little crease that grew between Jamie’s eyebrows confirmed Roy’s suspicions. Just like on the pitch, Jamie threw himself into every decision he made like his life depended on it, sometimes to his own detriment.

He had committed to helping his dad and so wanted to see it through. But it was a two-way street, as far as Roy was concerned, and Tartt Sr had done enough damage for one lifetime.

"You can sleep on it. Take all the time you need. Because you're safe here and frankly that's all I give a fuck about right now."

Jamie visibly mulled over his words and eventually sighed, shoulders lifting a little. He dislodged Keeley slightly so he could reach for his tea and for a few minutes no one spoke, they all just sipped their drinks and dealt with their own thoughts.

Roy caught Keeley’s eye and she smiled at him, which went a long way to making it feel like he was handling this whole shitshow okay.

“Was this a date?” Jamie’s voice drew a small jump out of Roy, as out of left field as it was. But he didn’t call Roy on it and he didn’t sound accusing or angry, either. He just looked between them curiously.

“No.” Keeley’s answer was definitive. “No, we just. We had some stuff to talk about, that’s all. Roy made dinner.”

He had. He’d invited Keeley over and he’d made her favourite food and he’d talked more about his own feelings than he probably had in his entire life.

For a while, it had felt like every step forward with Keeley came complete with two steps back. Once it had been pointed out to him that he had to be honest about the important relationships in his life if he wanted to keep a hold of them in any meaningful way, he realised that things between them were never going to just magically return to how they were before. 

But different was okay, whatever shape it took. ‘Different’ wasn’t nothing.

“You never cook for me, coach.” Jamie pouted at him. The teasing fell a little flat while he still looked like a stiff breeze could bowl him over but it was a very welcome glimpse of the little prick returning to normal.

“Well, I’ll need to make you breakfast in the morning then, won’t I?”

Roy tried not to smirk at the genuine surprise on Jamie’s face as he took that in. He still had some honesty about his relationship with Jamie to reckon with too.

“I think that’s my cue to get a move on.” Keeley put her mug down and leaned in to kiss Jamie’s cheek.

“You don’t have to go.”

Keeley looked to Roy, amused, and stepped in to kiss his forehead. “Let’s keep the proper sleepover for another night, yeah? We’ve all got work tomorrow.”

Before Roy could parse through whatever she meant by that, Keeley extracted a promise from both of them that they’d call if they needed anything and was gone.

They had both stood up to see her off and now Jamie was hovering in the middle of the room, seemingly at a loss for what to do without her holding onto him.

“You want to watch this?” Roy gestured at the tv that had at some point switched over to a quiz show in the background of their emotionally fraught evening.

“Not really.” Jamie shuffled his weight back and forth. “I’m really fucking tired, actually.”

Roy huffed a laugh and hooked his thumb over his shoulder towards the stairs.

“Go on, then. You know where the spare room is. I’m just going to…” He gestured to their empty mugs, indicating he would be up after tidying a little.

“Yeah.” Jamie nodded and, finally, the last of the tension he’d carried since turning up at Roy’s door seemed to drift off of him. “Thanks, Roy.”

He took a few steps before a soft “Oi.” brought him to a halt.

Roy pulled Jamie into a proper, tight hug, wrapping his arms right around his broad back. It wasn’t as strange as it should have been that it was becoming a familiar sensation.

Jamie buried his face into the crook of Roy’s neck and swayed into him, hands coming up to clutch at Roy’s clothes instead of his own. He always hugged like he needed an anchor to hold onto, or maybe that was just their tendency to do this when Jamie was facing some huge emotional upheaval.

Maybe they should change that.

“Thanks Roy.” Jamie repeated, mumbling into his shoulder. Roy just squeezed tighter and let him hold on as long as he needed to.

“Anytime, Jamie.”

#i will not apologise for my gratuitous use of commas #fic prompts #my fic #jamie tartt #roy kent #keeley jones #ted lasso

[ghost-runner]

“Useless” and “Troubled” until the End: Pt. 2

Sully Family x Fourth Child Male Reader

Summary: After being grounded a second time, you disobey Jake’s for the third time to secret sneak out and secretly help out on the raid against a train carrying supplies for the RDA assault forces. This ends up with you getting badly injured from a missile blast and things finally hit the breaking point at home. A familiar antagonist also shows up, looking a lot more blue and bloodthirsty than ever before.

Warning: Violence, blood, injuries, cursing, family arguments, a tiny bout of child neglect, abduction, kidnapping, etc.

Note: Once again, I’m not going to try to use Na’vi language as I don’t have any idea what the translations are to English.

-Y/N POV

I laid back in my hammock, not giving a care to the world as I vaguely listened to Dad tell everyone what was going on today with some sort of raid going down.

Jake: Alright, everyone please listen up. We have something big that will be taking place today. Neteyam, Lo’ak, you’re on lookout and watch duty to ensure everything is going accordingly to plan. Your mother and I will be leading the attack on the train from below.

Neteyam: Awesome! We get be on the battlefield!

Lo’ak: Ddddaaadddd, come on, give us a more exciting role.

Jake: Lo’ak, this is not up for debate. You’re on lookout duty and that’s final. -Dad then turns to Kiri and I while I have my back to him to notify that I’m ignoring him- Kiri, I need you and Y/N to watch Tuk while the rest of us are gone, okay?

Kiri: Of course, Dad.

Jake: Y/N, is that clear?

I ignore him as I try to fall asleep.

Jake: Is that clear, soldier!?!

I roll over in my hammock to face him and giving him a hard glare as Dad gets a bit angry at me for my blatant disrespect.

Jake: Y/N! Answer me!

Y/N: Yes sir…understood. -I give Dad a mocking salute as I turn back over, once again putting my back to him-

Dad sighs heavily at this and walks out of the Hometree to his Ikran, knowing the reasons why I’ve been more difficult as of late. I know Mom is looking at me worriedly as I’ve gotten into a lot more arguments with Dad over the last few days with me trying to prove myself, but I just shrug it off. I feel someone come up behind me and gently hug me from behind. I tense my back at this and roll over once again to see Mom is the one hugging me so I hug her back as she picks me up out of my hammock like she used to when I was a little kid. She puts me on back on my feet after a few seconds as Kiri and Tuk join the hug and the three help me feel a lot better. Mom then pulls away and kisses me on the forehead as my ears flatten against my head. She then walks out of the Hometree to her Ikran while I look to see Neteyam and Lo’ak giving me looks of understanding from where I stand at with our old man as I nod to them silently before the two leave for their Ikrans. Kiri lets me go from the hug and rubs my head with the height difference between the two of us with her being taller than me. She loves to tease me for being shorter than the normal Na’vi.

Kiri: You know I’m always here for you, little brother.

Y/N: I know, sis. Thanks.

I head back to my hammock and climb back into it before I get comfy as I close my eyes when I feel a weight on my chest. I open them back up to see Tuk climbed onto me and cuddled up to me which led me to smile. I rub her head and get comfy with Tuk on me and I fall asleep for about 30 minutes.

- 30 minutes later -

I woke up to sounds of ships careening down to the surface of Pandora and rolled over to see that RDA drop ships are coming into Pandora’s surface. I look around to see Kiri and Tuk not in the Hometree. I’m already know what Kiri is doing with Tuk to keep her distracted from everything going on, most likely by taking her on a nature walk and leaving me in the tree alone so I can have a bit of space. I smile at the opportunity that has opened for me and I quickly grab my knife, my bow which I named “Skull Splitter” from which I had hand-carved and designed myself, and a quiver full of barb tipped arrows I had made. I then run out of the Hometree before I whistle long and loudly for Ro’nea. I get a running start for myself before I run towards the edge of one of the long branches from the tree and jump off, leaving me in free fall as I see a blur of white and Ro’nea is with me as she gets under me, I then connect my queue to Ro’nea’s queue and we become one. I rub her head in gratitude for her quickness of getting here and I guide her to where I know the raid is taking place.

(This is the bow.)

(These are the arrows.)

- 1 hour later -

As Ro’nea and I reach the location of the raid, I begin to quietly think to myself. I know that I’m not supposed to be out here after being double grounded by Dad, but I really don’t care anymore. I have to be independent as I know I can only rely on myself in times like this. Everyone else just expects me to be in the background or to be useless and that I should be okay with with. I already get bullied enough as it is by boys in the clan that are my age because of this while they all have hunted something with it being some sort of achievement. Nobody ever notices the bullying or disrespect I get from my fellow clan members so I’ve learned to just keep my grievances to myself. It doesn’t matter as I doubt anyone would even believe me should I tell someone anyway as one of the son of Toruk Makto,

I shake my head to clear my mind as I start to fly higher than most of the Na’vi involved in the raid on Ro’nea so I don’t get spotted by Mom or Dad, the same goes for any other Na’vi involved in the raid. This is because of a different scar of my face that goes from the left side of my forehead to the middle point of my neck that was a result of a terrible fall I took when I was five years old. Due to this scar on my face in addition to the one from Ro’nea’s crash, I’ve become a very recognizable person so many of my clan know how to notice me out of a crowd, but they fail to notice most of the time due to me also being shorter than most other Na’vi. I also know that I stick out quite a bit obviously since Ro’nea is completely white, but we’ve managed to stay under the radar for now. I look down to my companion and scratch Ro’nea on her neck as she lets out a screech of content at the scratch. I smile at her antics and let out a small thank you to Eywa for allowing me to bond with Ro’nea as she is one of the only friends I’ve had in a long time besides my siblings. I briefly catch my brothers as they are on watch duty as they also fail to notice me partaking in the raid. I look off to see that there are RDA ships incoming as the train blew off its track for the explosive detonation. I grab my bow and ready an arrow before letting go of it as it soared into the glass windshield of one of the ships and went straight through the glass. The arrow ended up impaling itself into the pilot’s chest, hitting the heart and killed the pilot immediately which led to the ship losing control before crashing into the cliff side.

Y/N: Fuck you.

I watch as I saw both Dad and Mom take out a few other ships while I smile at their teamwork. I just wish I could have possibly learned from them instead of needing to teach myself. I then saw both of my parents look over in my direction as they looked at Ro’nea with surprised looks. I can only assume it’s because they’ve never seen a fully white Ikran before, but then again, fully white Ikrans are very rare to find, and it’s considered very sacred as it’s seen to be the very image of Eywa itself. Not only that, white Ikrans are also bigger than most regular Ikrans of different colors. From what I know, if you bond with one, it’s a very special honor amongst Na’vi to have that bond and that anyone who has a white Ikran will be highly respected by the clan. Well, I know that to be absolute bullshit since I’m bonded with one. (I’m making up the white Ikran bond thing for the sake of the story). I’m just happy that they are too far away to see that their son is the one that is bonded with the white Ikran. I keep my head down to make sure it stays that way. More ships begin coming and I continue to launch arrow after arrow at each ship using my bow while riding Ro’nea. I took down three more ships with precise shots to either the pilot’s head, killing them instantly or hitting them in the chest with an instant kill heart shot.

Y/N: All of you RDA sons of bitches can go rot in hell.

I have Ro’nea stop for a moment so I can collect my barrens when I see my two brothers heading down to the train when I knew they were not supposed to be. I roll my eyes and signal for Ro’nea to let me off near where my brothers are. Once on the ground, I get off of Ro’nea’s saddle and leave my weapons attached to the harness I made for her. I detach my queue from hers and tell her to hide herself somewhere safe nearby in case I need her as I don’t want to risk her getting hurt. Ro’nea looks at me, understanding what I’m telling her to do and she flies off to hide just like I taught her. I turn around and then run to where my stupid brothers are at.

— 3RD PERSON POV

Lo’ak and Neteyam are off of their Ikrans and we’re currently opening up a crate filled with weapons as Lo’ak grabbed one of the assault rifles that were in said crate.

Neteyam: Don’t tell me you’re going to try using that thing.

Lo’sk: Come on, bro. It can’t be that hard.

Lo’ak aims the weapons into the air jokingly, but the two Sullys freeze and feel their blood go cold when they hear a voice they know all too well.

Y/N: What the hell are you two idiots doing down here?! I thought dad told you to stay in the air on watch duty!

The two eldest Sully boys turned around quickly to see their youngest brother running towards them with a grim look on his face. They have shock written all over their faces as they look at their brother in confusion with him being here at the raid.

Neteyam: Y/N?!? What the hell are you doing here!?

Y/N: Trying to show Dad I can handle myself and that I’m actually capable of being useful besides babysitting and being a healer.

Lo’ak: Bro. Dad will kill you if he finds out that you’re here!

Y/N: I honestly don’t care anymore. It’s always the same with him! I can never do anything the two of you can!

Neteyam: That’s because you’re unprepared, Y/N!

Y/N: NO, I’M NOT!! IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH THIS ME BEING USELESS CRAP! I JUST WANT ONE CHANC— INCOMING ROCKET! LO! NETE! LOOK OUT!

Y/N pushed his brothers behind some cover as the rocket struck close to where the three Sully boys were at. Neteyam and Lo’ak only had minor bruises from their little brother pushing them out of the impact zone of the rocket, but Y/n took the brunt of the blast and couldn’t be seen by either of the oldest brothers. Jake had only now seen his oldest sons looking around for the third Sully son, but he was completely unaware to what they were doing or the fact of Y/N being there. Jake fly down on his Ikran and dismounted from it to run to where his boys are at. Jake reached his two oldest boys and was totally pissed at the two of them.

Jake: WHAT WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!? I TOLD YOU TO STAY ON LOOKOUT DUTY!!

Lo’ak: Sir, we know. But there’s bigger trouble than that right now!

Jake: What is bigger than you two disobeying my orders?!

Neteyam: Y/N is here and he’s possibly hurt!

Jake froze and felt his heart completely stop at what his oldest child had just said to him.

Jake: Y/N is what!?!

Lo’ak: Y/N is possibly hurt as he pushed us out of the way from the rocket exploding! We need to find him!

Jake: You two get back into your Ikrans and get airborne. I’ll find your brother.

Neteyam and Lo’ak: Yes sir.

The two brothers run back to where they had their Ikrans at and started getting airborne while Jake searched through the wreckage for his youngest boy. He couldn’t find anything and started to worry about what might’ve happened to Y/N. Only then did Jake saw something out of the corner of his eye where he saw a few bodies belonging to the deceased Na’vi they sadly perished during the train raid. Jake shallowed down hard to keep a lump that was building in his throat from bursting out and letting him assume the worst possible fate that his son could have had. Jake ran over to the bodies and began to check each one. The first two bodies were of female Na’vi so Jake ruled them out immediately and the next two bodies were of male Na’vi, however, Jake didn’t see the scar that he knew only his son would have on the side of his face. When he reached the final body, he noticed that the Na’vi was not dead and the person was still breathing and had a pulse. He turned the person over onto his back and Jake instantly saw the scar on the Na’vi’s face, immediately telling him it’s his son. He checked Y/N for any injuries and saw that Y/N had some metal shrapnel in his left leg that will need to be removed later and a large gash in his left arm. He picked his son up and quickly got him onto his Ikran before taking off. Neytiri saw Jake on the ground and watched as she then saw Jake pick up an unconscious Na’vi and taking them to his Ikran and taking off. She went over and looked in horror at the realization that it was her youngest son that was injured. She gave Jake a look saying “Let me take him, you continue leading the attack.” Jake let his mate take their son before he went back to leading the attack. Neytiri started to make her way back to their home when Neteyam and Lo’ak fly over to their mom and tell her to let them take their brother home. She gives them their unconscious brother before she returned to the fight. The boys took their little brother home.

— 6 Hours later —

— Y/N POV

I silently stare at the ceiling of my home as my mind wonders far out. I’m knocked out of thought when my grandmother, Mo’at and Kiri walk into the Hometree while carrying leaf wrap bandages and medicine. Grandma sits down next to me before she began to tell me what she’ll have to do with my leg. I silently nod to her and grab my knife from the table next to me. I put the blade of my knife into my mouth to bite down onto while my grandmother carefully starts to slowly pull the piece of metal out of my leg. I grunt in pain and bite down onto the blade as Grandma continues pulling the metal out slowly. My tail is swishing a lot and my ears are up at attention as I let out another grunt of pain and bit down harder on the blade before Grandma finally gets it out. Kiri than came over to me to put some medicine onto the wound and began wrapping it in the leaf bandages. I take my knife out of my mouth and carelessly throw it at the wall, embedding it into the bark of the tree next to my hammock. I then spit a little bit of blood into my hand and wipe it off onto the already bloodied bundle of leaves beneath me.

Kiri: You really shouldn’t have gone out there, little bro.

Y/N: Kiri, as much as I love you, please not now.

Kiri: I’m just saying….

Y/N: I know, I know. I’m already going to get the same talk down from Dad, the angry drill instructor.

I look outside to see the red evening sky and it fills me with a feeling of contentment. Like Kiri, I’ve always enjoyed nature and the little things in life that are around us, but nobody seems to notice. Kiri rubs my left arm that has a patch of bandage wrapped around the gash from earlier with understanding how I feel about nature and I’m happy that I can share that with my big sister.

Y/N: Grandma, Kiri, thank you both for patching me up.

Mo’at: Of course, little warrior. You’re just like your grandfather when he was a young man.

Y/N: I could never live up to Grandpa’s reputation. I can barely even prove myself to Dad, I’ll never be able to do anything right…. -I hug Grandma tightly-

Kiri frowns and joins the hug as she knows just how badly I want to be considered a “Proper” Sully.

Mo’at: Oh, little warrior. I know about how you feel, your father is a hard man. He’ll come around eventually, I promise. And I know that you can do anything that you’ll put your mind to, little warrior.

Kiri: Even if that doesn’t happen, Y/n. You still have Tuk, me, Neteyam, Lo’ak, Grandma, and Mom. You’re not alone.

Y/N; Thanks, Grandma, thanks, sis. I’m happy to know I can always rely on you.

Mo’at: I must go attend to the rest of the wounded, my grandchildren. Kiri, can I count on you to keep an eye on your brother while he heals?

Kiri: Of course, grandmother.

Mo’at nods to my big sister as she then gets up and walks out of our Hometree. I groan as I get up from the makeshift bench I was laying down on and go to the table to sit down while Kiri gently helps me up over to it. I look over to my hammock to see Tuk sleeping soundly in my hammock and I smile at the sight before I then hear the familiar sound of the flap of an Ikran’s wings and I got ready for the hell that is coming. I look to see Mom, Dad, and my brothers enter the home. I look at Dad and he is giving me the death stare right now to which I roll my eyes as I look away. My brothers are looking at me with sympathy looks on their faces as they know what hell I’m in for. Mom, however, has worry written all over her face at the shock from knowing what her youngest son did. Dad spoke up for everyone’s attention.

Jake: Everyone, head to bed. Y/N. I need to have words with you outside. Now.

I rolled my eyes and got up. Kiri tried to help, but I told her I would be fine. I painfully forced myself out the chair and limped out of the tree with Dad hot on my tail before I turn around to face him.

Jake: What. Did. I. Say. About. Disobeying. Direct. Orders. Soldier? Are you out of your goddamn mind, Y/N?!? Why did you even think that was a good idea?!?

Y/N: Sir— You know what, fuck that military shit. DAD. With all due respect from the love I have for you, can you yell at me tomorrow? -Jake clenched his jaw as stared down his son in worry- I feel like I’m about to fucking pass out and I don’t want that to be considered disrespectful.

Dad’s eyes looked over me could only sigh before agreeing to to what I said.

Jake: Alright, let’s head to bed then.

Dad goes into the home first before I just let out a loud sigh, walk into the home, silently grab my journal out of my pillow, and go back outside the Hometree to climb up to where my secluded sleep spot is. Before I climb, I see Jake giving me a look saying to not go up. I shake my head at him and carefully climb up to my sleep spot before I get comfy and start to write in my journal. After writing down about my feelings and what will might be in store for tomorrow, I close my journal and roll over to doze off to sleep.

- The next day around noon —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

Y/N was currently sitting out on one of the branches outside of the home while he sharpens the blade of his knife without a care to the world. He can hear his parents talking/arguing about what to do in regards to him while the rest of his siblings are off hanging out with their good friend who is a human. They call him Spider as they never knew his actual name and he has grown to be a good friend of the Sully family.

Jake: Ney, we need do something about Y/N’s behavior!

Neytiri: I know. We need to show him how much we care about him. He feels practically useless because we’ve neglected to raise him the right way with training him and showing him how much we care for him.

Jake: I know. I know. It’s just that…..He’s more trouble than he’s worth….He is nothing, but a load of failure….I don’t want to say it….but……..

Y/N sighed as he knew his dad was right. He was nothing, but a failure to the Sully name. He stops sharpening the blade and gets up before he turns to watch his parents continue to argue.

Neytiri: Jake! How could you ever say something like that?!?

Jake: It slipped out……I didn’t mean it that way or for it to com—

Y/n, cutting off Jake: No, Dad, you’re right.

The two Na’vi parents turn to their son as he held his knife tightly in hand.

Y/N: I’m sorry I could never live up to your expectations and standards. I’m sorry for being a failure. And most importantly, I’m sorry for ever coming into your lives.

Y/n then turns around and let out a long and loud whistle before running into a jump from off the branch he was once sitting on. Neytiri and Jake look at each other horrified before they run to where their son jumped off of. They only got to the edge to see Y/N currently riding on his fully white Ikran, Ro’nea, as the two rose slowly to the point where he could stare silently back at his parents. Jake and Neytiri look at Y/N in absolute astonishment and amazement that the white Ikran they saw earlier was, in fact, their son’s Ikran and the fact that they even saw him in action yesterday with taking out several ships.

Neytiri: So it was you….

Jake: Y/N…..

Y/N: I need time alone. You can send Kiri, to find me. She will know where I will be. I don’t care if I get grounded for life for this.

Y/N signaled for Ro’nea to fly away from the Sully home. Neytiri and Jake watched their son fly away in dispose as tears went to their eyes. Neytiri broke down crying as Jake pulled her into a hug and shushed her.

Neytiri: How c-could he ever t-think we think he’s a failure??

Jake: This is my fault. I need to make things right. We first need to find where our boy went.

Jake then used his communicator to contact Neteyam and Lo’ak.

— Elsewhere on Pandora —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

We currently see all the Sully siblings apart from Y/N running around with their good friend, Spider, who is the one Y/N picked up most of his profanity from. The five are all having fun as they explore the wilderness of the Pandora jungle when Neteyam and Lo’ak both get a call on their communicators from their father and both brothers immediately get worried about what’s going on. Neteyam answers the call.

Lo’ak and Neteyam: Dad, what’s the situation?/What’s the problem, Dad?

Jake: It’s Y/N. He’s run away to somewhere.

Neteyam and Lo’ak both look at each other with grim looks on their faces as they hear what the situation is.

Lo’ak: Where did he run off to?

Jake: It’s not so much “run off” as it is to actually flying away on his Ikran.

Neteyam: Wait, wait, wait, you mean Y/N actually bonded with an Ikran?

Jake: That’s right. Not only that, it’s a white Ikran. I think you know how special that bond is.

Neteyam knows just how special white Ikrans are to the Na’vi as they represent the Great Mother herself.

Neteyam: Where did he fly off to?

Jake: Neither me nor your mother knows where he went. He did say that Kiri should know where he’s going. Find him and bring him home. Please.

Jake then hangs up the call. Both brothers look at one another before they nod and go over to Kiri who heard then in the communicators with their father.

Kiri: Is something going on? I heard you two on the call with dad, but not what it was about.

Lo’ak: Y/N’s run away from home.

Kiri: What?!

Neteyam: The bigger issue is that he’s also bonded with an Ikran and that’s what he’s using to move right now.

Kiri: Wait, when did he bond with an Ikran?

Neteyam: Nobody has a clue. Dad said that you would know where he went, is that right?

Kiri: Yeah, he would join me in heading to a secret spot with a lake near where we are right now. He will most likely be there.

Spider then made his way over to the older Sully siblings.

Spider: Guys, what’s going on?

Kiri: Y/N has run away from home and Dad needs us to find him.

Spider: Shit. Any idea where he is?

At that exact moment, all of the Sully siblings and Spider saw a very distinctive white Ikran flying below them through the valley as they continue running along the branches that span across the valley. They try to spot who the rider is to see that it’s their runaway brother as they see the scars present on the Y/N’s face, identifying the rider as Y/N. The Na’vi teens and Spider then ran over to where they could try to shout to Y/N.

Kiri: Y/N!! Up here!!

Neteyam: Y/N! Where the hell are you going??

Lo’ak: Little bro! Stop!!

Spider: Hey, Y/N!! Up here, man!!!

Y/N paid no attention to his siblings nor to Spider as they shouted to the runaway boy. Kiri frowns at this while her brothers just shake their heads.

Kiri: We need to get to the lake before Y/N.

Neteyam: Agreed.

The three oldest Sullys and Spider went over to Tuk and told her they were going to go on a small adventurous journey to a hidden location, hiding the true meaning of why they were going to the hidden lake. Tuk beamed at this news and the five individuals began to quickly make their way to the hidden lake, hoping to reach it before Y/N.

Little did any of the teens know that a small group of Recombinant Na’vi led by a now Na’vi Miles Quaritch had just heard everything while they watched from a distance.

Quaritch: Well, well, well. It looks like the bastard and bitch knocked up. Walker! Mansk! Get on your banshees and follow that little flyer fuck! The rest of you, with me! We’ll use the rest of the little fucks as bait for the real prizes.

Quaritch then let out a a dark chuckle as the Recoms get onto their Ikrans and begin to secretly follow Y/N and the rest of his squad follow the Sullys and Spider.

— 20 minutes later —

— Y/N POV

I smile as I reach my secret spot away from home. It’s a small area that is surrounded by massive trees that hide the peaceful aura that surrounds this place.

(This is what I had in mind for it or something like this at least with much taller trees like on Pandora.)

I got off of Ro’nea and sat down in the shallow water away from her. I close my eyes and just enjoy the peaceful nature and it’s sounds around me. The feeling of the lake water splashing against my body, the sounds of the Pandora wildlife like the sound of Sturmbeests drinking water from the lake a fair bit away from me, and the peaceful aura of nature that is the epitome of Eywa herself. I look over to check on Ro’nea and see her being herself.

She takes a bit of time to stretch her wings and then she looks at me with an uncertain look on her face, trying to ask if I’m okay. I shake my head while smiling and head back over to her, I then gave Ro’nea a hug with her wrapping her wings around me, basically returning said hug back to me. I’m glad that Eywa chose for Ro’nea to be my companion, for she and I are both one of a kind. However, I noticed something very strange when she let me down from hugging me, I saw a blue and teal Ikran with Na’vi decked out in military gear fly down into the brush, as if they were following me. I grab my bow, quiver of arrows, and my knife from Ro’nea’s harness and tell her to fly away so she doesn’t get hurt. She understood and immediately flew to a hiding spot both of us knew about that would allow her to hide unseen until I called for her again. I strap my quiver to my back, sling my bow onto the small catch I put onto the quiver to hold my bow to my back, and sheathed my knife into its sheath. I quietly make my way through the brush to see the two Ikrans from before, but with only one of the riders I saw from before. He was currently checking his gear so I used the opportunity to snuck up to the strange looking Na’vi while I grab one of my serrated arrows and break the bottom of it off, turning it into a small serrated blade and quickly put it to his throat.

Walker: What the fuck…..

Y/N: Surprise, asshole. Now listen carefully.

Walker: you really think you scare me, that’s hilarious.

Y/N: I really could not give a fuck what you think, asshat. Now, you’re gonna tell me how the hell you found me and what the fuck you are doing here.

The weird-looking Na’vi only laughed at me before I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head before everything went black.

— 3RD PERSON POV —

Y/N fell to ground unconscious as he was pistol whipped over the back of the head by Mansk, saving his fellow Recom sister-in-arms.

Walker: Thanks, mate.

Mansk: Of course, my friend.

Walker: Let’s get this little bastard to the boss. He’s gonna have a field day.

Mansk: No shit.

What the Recoms didn’t know about what that the Sully children and Spider had watched the whole thing involving their brother. They quietly watched in horror as Mansk grabs Y/N by his braids and started dragging him away to meet up with Quaritch.

— 7 minutes earlier —

— 3RD PERSON POV —

The Sully children along with Spider outside the general area of the hidden lake that Kiri led them to.

Lo’ak: So what exactly is this place, Kiri?

Kiri: It’s a location that Y/N has found when Dad let him go have a free day to himself. Y/N tried sneaking out one night on foot and Dad had me take my Ikran to follow him. I was amazed by the area that Y/N lead me to and he made me promise to never tell anybody about it, but I have regretfully broken that promise by bringing you guys here.

Kiri pushes some bushes aside to reveal the beautiful hidden lake. Everyone is in awe at how perfect everything is.

Tuk: This is pretty!

Spider: Holy…..

Neteyam: I now see why Y/n and you wanted to keep this place a secret.

Lo’ak: This place screams tranquillity…

Kiri: We need to find Y/N fast.

Tuk: There!

Tuk pointed over to where everyone saw the alone Na’vi boy getting hugged by his Ikran which surprises everyone, even Kiri as she has never seen anything like that. Everyone then sees the Recombinants flying on their Ikrans to a landing zone further into the tree brush and Y/N gets a grim look in his face. They see Y/N tell his Ikran to hide before she flies off with Y/N preparing himself.

Kiri: Who was that flying in? It doesn’t look like anyone we know.

Spider: They’re probably dipshits who stumbled upon this place.

Kiri: I don’t think so, Spider, they weren’t anyone from the clan at all. I’m worried about what they are doing here as apart from us and Y/N, nobody else knows about this location, not even Mom or Dad.

Lo’ak: We need to do something!

Neteyam hits Lo’ak upside the head.

Neteyam: No shit. Also, keep your voice down, you idiot. We need to figure out what those Na’vi are up to and figure out how we can get Y/N out of here so he’s not in danger.

Lo’ak: Heads up! Y/N’s on the move.

Everyone looked to see Y/N quickly make his way into the brush to find the Ikrans that landed over there. After continuing to follow Y/N, they watched the events unfold and saw the other Recom pistol whip Y/N over the back of the head before helping his fellow Recom up. He then dragged the now unconscious Y/N very roughly away by his braids.

Tuk: No….Noooo!

Kiri: Tuk. Come here.

Tuk quietly burst into tears at the sight of what happened to her brother while Kiri pulled her into a hug as her own tears begin to fall. Spider was pissed off at what the Na’vi did to his best friend while Neteyam and Lo’ak were already thinking of the ways they would make the Recoms regret hurting their little brother.

Neteyam: Those bastards…..

Lo’ak: Those fuckers are going to pay.

Spider: Assholes! Both of them are dead!

It was only then that a loud gunshot was heard, luckily nobody was hit as the bullet hit one of the trees and everyone turned to see a bunch of Na’vi in military gear a few meters away from them that were carrying with guns and a now Na’vi Miles Quaritch holding his pistol with a still smoking barrel up into the air.

Quaritch: Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

Neteyam: EVERYBODY SCRAM!!

The Sully kids and Spider then ran in opposite directions with Lo’ak and Spider running North, Kiri and Tuk running to the West, and Neteyam running to the East.

Quaritch: Find them! We will not let these little bastards escape!

— 10 minutes later —

— Y/N POV

I felt myself coming to as I felt a massive pain from my head as I realized I was being dragged by my braids. I look around to see it’s the same two guys that were following me before I was knocked out. I look around my body to see if I still have any weapons and to my luck, I still had my knife in its hidden sheathe, I grab it and plunge it into the kneecap of the guy who was pulling me along by braids. He let out a scream of pain as he falls to his left knee in pain before I sock him across the jaw, knocking him out. I quickly grab the heavy revolver that was in his holster.

(The gun)

I silently pray to Eywa that my self-taught gun training will pay off as I swiftly pull the hammer of the revolver back and shoot the second Na’vi that was with us in the shoulder, knocking her off her own feet and to the ground. I then run over and turn the revolver so I now am holding it by the barrel before pistol whipping the Na’vi that was wounded across the face, knocking her out. I pant as I let out shaky breaths before I saw my oldest brother running towards me.

Neteyam: Y/N!!!

He gave me tight hug as he saw the carnage I caused to the two Na’vi.

Neteyam: Fucking hell, bro. Remind me not to piss you off.

Y/N: That doesn’t matter right now. Neteyam, how in the fuck did you find me?

Neteyam: Kiri brought us here.

Y/N: Of course she did… who else is with you?

Neteyam: Tuk, Kiri, Lo’ak and Spider were with me, but we all got separated. We need to find them.

Y/N: No shit.

Neteyam got onto his communicator to call Lo’ak.

Neteyam: Lo’ak, are you and Spider play?

Lo’ak: No, not good, Spider was taken, bro. I found a place to hide at an uprooted tree, but I don’t know where Kiri or Tuk are at. Are you good?

Neteyam: Yeah, I found Y/N. Listen to me, okay? I need you to stay hidden, Y/N and I will look for our sisters. Understand?

Lo’ak: You got it, bro. Stay safe.

Neteyam: You do the same.

Neteyam gets off the call.

Neteyam: Listen, we need to find out sisters, we need to find Kiri and Tuk. I saw them running west, we need to get to them before anybody else does. Let’s go!

Y/N: Right behind you!

— 5 minutes later —

— Still Y/N’s POV

I follow closely behind Neteyam as we stop, seeing Kiri and Tuk, however, we were too late and they were tied up to trees with three hostiles around them.

Neteyam: Shit. We were too late.

Y/N: Not if I can help it. Nete. I need you to trust me, okay? When I start drawing the enemies away from Kiri and Tuk, I want you to take the chance and free them. Go find Lo’ak once you do.

Neteyam: What?!? Are you insane?!?

Y/N: There’s no other option. This is the only thing we can do right now.

I jump down from our vantage point and make my way to an opening where the three Na’vi Recoms can see me.

Y/N: Hey assholes! Over here!!!

I used the revolver I kept from earlier to fire a warning shot at the three hostiles before they started chasing after me with their pistols drawn. I lead them away from Kiri and Tuk so Neteyam can use the opening I’m creating to his advantage. I continue to drawn them further and further away towards a steep cliff overlooking the lake when I heard a loud gunshot and I am met to a sharp pain in my shoulder, causing me to be forced off-balance which sent me over the side of the cliff as I continued to run towards it and down to the water below. Luckily, I land on the shore, I look around for the revolver from before, but I soon found out that I lost it when I fell from the cliff. I now have another problem with my shoulder being in intense pain, I put my hand to my shoulder and only feel torn skin around a hole that wasn’t in my shoulder previously. I knew I had been shot. It was then when I felt myself being grabbed from behind by my braids again and I’m forced to turn around to face an evil looking Na’vi.

(It’s Quaritch)

Quaritch: Well, it’s nice to meet the demon spawn of the man who stabbed me in the back. You’re a lot more trouble than your worth.

The Na’vi then got onto his radio.

Quaritch: Everyone, regroup on me. I want someone to bring that human boy back to the base. I have a special someone who I believe can get us what we want.

I was then being dragged away by my braids once again as I clutch my wounded shoulder in pain. I try to fight the feeling of passing out, but I fall unconscious due to the nasty mix of pain and tiredness.

— 3RD PERSON POV, BACK WITH NETEYAM —

Neteyam watched as his youngest brother drawed the enemy Na’vi away from the area, which allowed him to move to Kiri and Tuk and free them from their bindings.

Kiri: Thanks, but what in the hell is Y/N doing?!

Neteyam: Ssshhh, keep your voice down, I need you to regroup with Lo’ak, Spider was taken, but Lo’ak found a hiding spot that you can go to. Head to the tree that has been uprooted, that’s where he are hiding. I need to help Y/N.

Kiri: Got it. Tuk, I need you to stay close to me, okay.

Tuk; Okay, sis.

The two Sully girls quickly and quietly run to where the hiding spot is while Neteyam ran in the direction of where his brother ran. He caught up only to see Y/n get shot in the shoulder which made him tumble over the edge of cliff. Neteyam couldn’t believe his eyes and tears come to his eyes as he knew that his brother was in big trouble, but he could not do anything with so many enemies around the area. He turned around before retreating to where the rest of his siblings and their good friend are hiding at. They need to make a plan.

To be continued….

Thats Pt. 2 for you. I hope it was not too long and too wordy. Anyways, I wanted to say that I never expected people to actually my idea of “"Useless” and “Troubled” until the End.” I hope people enjoy reading Pt. 2 as much I enjoyed writing it.

#jake sully #neytiri #avatar the way of water #atwow x reader #atwow x you #avatar kiri #avatar x male reader #avatar imagine #neteyam #tuk sully #atwow #avatar loak #avatar

[suuuupernovaaa]

kxuke - part 2

kxuke [ˈk’u.kɛ] adj. safe

Request from @myrealmstuff: Part 2 for Kxuke please, it's so beautiful.

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Request from @hyunjinoak: Can I request Neteyam x reader story where the reader is pregnant and going through a really tough pregnancy complications and Neteyam is helping it? Nnd when the reader has difficult delivery (heavy bleeding / too long contraction or something like that) Neteyam helps reader and in the end have a healthy baby?

Part 1 [Summary: A Marine avatar, part of Quartich's team, is held captive by the Sullys. She is tough but damaged from an abusive upbringing on earth. Slowly, she and Neteyam fall for each other, and she is granted new life in her avatar body by Eywa. Neteyam's family is not pleased, but Neteyam asks her to be his mate. You should probably read Part 1 before reading Part 2.]

TW: blood, pregnancy

Watching the last remaining ship leave is surreal for me. Everyone I knew in my previous life now gone, suspended in sleep for six years, back to the planet I once called home.

It doesn't feel like home now, when I think it about it. It sort of feels like a nightmare; the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents, multiple partners; the relief I felt when joining the marines, only to realize I had become the oppressor and abuser.

Never once have I regretted my decision to turn my back on my people. Maybe I should... but they never did a damn thing for me but use and abuse me, my entire life.

Though my new family was hard-won, they have never hurt me, or yelled at me, or made me feel little and stupid.

Tuk and Kiri were the quickest to accept me, with Lo'ak soon after. Then came Jake, because as it turned out, we had quite a lot in common. Rough upbringing. Marine background. Abandoning our race for a new one. You don't often meet other people in that situation. Our mutual understanding turned to friendship, and then a familial like relationship.

Neytiri was the hardest, but it was her mother's heart that got her in the end. It just came out, on a hunt, a story about my own mother, and something she'd done to me when I was barely out of diapers.

Something in Neytiri changed towards me in that moment, and she held me in her arms as I cried, and told me she would try to be a better mother to me.

Now I stand with my family, my mate Neteyam, and I place my hand over my swollen stomach as the cheering erupts around me at the joy and relief everyone feels. The baby is kicking again; he must be able to feel my happiness.

We are finally free.

--

The pregnancy has not been easy on me. I try every day to feel joyful about the new life I'm bringing into the world, and grateful to be staring my own family with Neteyam, but I am so tired, all of the time.

The simplest tasks have become exhausting, especially as the pregnancy has gotten to its final stages. Tsahik tells me I need to rest, and that she thinks the birth will be difficult... so that's something to look forward to.

Neteyam practically carries me in his arms everywhere we go, and dotes on me so aggressively that it sends me to tears at least three times a day.

Everything makes me cry. Neytiri tells me it's normal, but it feels embarrassing nonetheless. I burst into tears when Tuk squeezes my hand as we walk, or when I see another mother with a small child, and nearly every time Neteyam does anything nice for me.

Which is almost constantly. Neteyam is thoughtful, caring, and constantly going the extra mile to make me comfortable. I thought I loved him before, but I know now that every day, I will love him a little bit more - even when it feels like I couldn't possibly love him more, he does something so small but so meaningful, like bringing me home a flower for my hair, and my love for him explodes.

Just a few short weeks after the humans have returned to earth, I wake up in a searing hot pain, all around my abdomen, and shooting through my lower back.

"Oh my god!" I scream in English. "Neteyam! Something's wrong! Or, it's happening, maybe!"

Neteyam leaps up next to me, squatting beside me, grabbing my arm to support me.

"Happening?" he asks, also in English. It's so hard to speak in a second language when I'm in so much pain, even if I would consider myself fluent.

"Get Tsahik. And your mom!" I holler, but there are already footsteps approaching.

"I am here!" Neytiri says, running through the door. I guess that's a benefit to having your in-laws just steps away. "Jake is bringing Ronal. What do you feel?"

"Pain," I reply, switching back to Na'vi. "Here, and here," I gesture all around my waist, and my back.

Neytiri tsks. "Bah, back labor. It will be painful. Ronal will bring medicine to help."

I lean onto Neteyam, wondering what the Na'vi equivalent of an epidural is.

--

It is not until two days later that I hold my son in my arms. Looking into his eyes here, the pain of the past hours is already fading away in my mind.

The screaming, the blood, the pushing and tearing; the throbbing pain I feel even now... it doesn't matter.

He is beautiful. Four fingers like Neteyam, eyebrows like me, and his hair seems to almost have a reddish shine to it, but it could just be the sunrise. His cheeks are round and when he opens his eyes, they're a beautiful amber color. He has been attached to my breast since the moment he came into the world, but now, he is sleeping peacefully. Ronal has sewn me up and left medicine behind for me to take, and Neteyam's family waits outside until they're given the go-ahead to come in. Only Neytiri has met her grandson; I demanded she be there for the entire birth, and she did not leave my side.

It was the first time in my life that I truly felt a mother's love.

"Take him, Neteyam," I say. "Hold your son."

There are tears in his eyes as he reaches out and takes the swaddled baby.

"Remove his blanket, put him right on your chest. It's good for them, to be skin to skin." I don't know how much of my limited earth knowledge of babies will apply here, but surely that's correct.

"He's so beautiful, and warm," Neteyam says, holding his naked son to his chest. I lay the blanket over him, and Neteyam strokes his tiny back. "I love him so much. I love you so much." He looks at me, the tears falling freely now for both of us.

"You saved my life, Neteyam. I never imagined I would have any of this. I am so grateful to you."

Neteyam leans over gently, and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. "Thank you for this gift, Y/N. You are my treasure."

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam fic #avatar 2 #avatar twow #daddy neteyam

[kwanisms]

Library of Illusion — the Lobby

masterlist | next »»

➥ no pairing

wc: 2.5k

summary: With the death of her parents, Y/N inherits the house and finds a box of old research her father left behind that talks about a legendary place. After months of research and searching, Y/N has finally found it.

The Library of Illusion beckons.

genre/themes/au: fantasy, slight horror elements; non idol au

warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, mention of death

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem

ateez taglist: @2hodefender @cixrosie @pyeonghongrie-main @flowerboykun @sanjoongie @anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

special tags: @thelargefrye @hwasdollie

Join my taglists: permanent | group

a/n: here it is finally! I have been so FREAKING excited about this event since we first started planning it. I hope you all love it as much as I loved writing each part and before I go off on a tangent, I'll let you all read! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

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You’d always been told stories all throughout your youth about a mystical place known only as the Library. Your mother used to tell you grand stories about the place when she was putting you to sleep so she and your father could head out for an evening, leaving you in the care of a babysitter.

Your father always added onto these fantastical tales, painting vivid images with his words as he explained the Library in full detail, almost as if he had been there. The stories weren’t special to your family though. Lots of your peers heard similar tales, told to them by their parents at bed time.

And so it became sort of like a ritual. Until one day, it wasn’t.

You weren’t sure when you stopped caring about the wondrous and whimsical tales of the Library but it had to have been around the time you started showing an interest in things other than fairy tales.

Your parents still tried to instill the element of wonder into your life up until you left home, hoping to find something other than elaborate tales of a made up library.

Your parents were gone. Passed in an accident only a month ago today.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to them in years, preferring your circle of friends and work life you’d grown accustomed to.

After the funeral, you gained possession of everything they owned and while going through a box in the attic with only a bottle of wine to keep you company, you stumbled on something you probably never should have seen.

It was what you could only assume was a case file about a place called the Library of Illusion. As you flipped through the pages, sipping from your glass of red, your eyes widened reading the words you’d only heard from your parents' mouths as they tried to lull you to sleep at night.

Your father had been a professor of archaeology all throughout your life while your mother was an appraiser of rare antiques. They both loved old things.

As you scanned the documents you learned three things.

1. Your parents were obsessed with this Library, believing it to contain treasure.

2. Your parents, mainly your father had set about finding the location

3. Your father actually found the location just before his untimely death

As soon as you looked over the maps and checked it with known maps, the decision was made before you.

Wine in hand, you booked a flight, made accommodations, and hired a local guide.

Getting to the dense jungle where the Library was rumored to be was easy but traversing the jungle was another story. Your guide halfway through called it off but you were determined, taking the map and satellite phone and continuing alone on your journey which brought you to where you were now standing.

The Library was an very old stone structure, made of some kind of smooth sandstone. Most of it was covered in thick vines, the dense trees growing around the structure and making it seem very much a part of the jungle.

Two stone slab doors stood between you and the contents of the building as you checked your father’s notes, comparing them with the notebook he’d stashed with the other items.

Entering the library was no easy task but it wasn’t impossible.

A complex series of dials must be turned according to a riddle which was already solved by your parents. As you turned the last dial and it clicked into place, a mechanism behind the stone started to move and before your very eyes, the doors opened inward to reveal the inner corridor was nothing but a dark and empty void.

Taking the flashlight from your pack, you turned it on and headed inside, reminding yourself to put one foot in front of the other as you started into the blackness.

Your footsteps echoed around the walls as you walked down what seemed to be an impossibly long corridor, turning your flashlight around to keep a sharp eye on anything you might encounter from jungle animals to deadly insects or even plants. Your guide had warned you of the many dangers that awaited in not only the Library but the jungle as well.

Finally, just as you were about to give up, a dim light could be seen in the distance. Speeding up, you continued on your way, the first real sign of promise within your grasp.

As you neared what you assumed to be the end of the tunnel, the shape of the light grew in size until you emerged from the passage into a round room with a domed ceiling.

Around the walls were various bookshelves that had clearly seen better days. Old ruined books and stacks of yellowed paper lined the shelves and a thick layer of dust coated everything. Between breaks in the shelves were arched doorways.

You counted seven in total.

In the center of the room was what you could only describe as a stage, octagonal in shape and made of the same pale sandstone. Stone pillars stood in the eight corners, reaching from floor to domed ceiling and matched the same color of stone that everything else was made of.

Standing atop the stone stage, was a dark redwood desk. You carefully glanced around before ascending the few steps up to get a better look at the desk. It was a curved semi circular shape with a few stacks of aged paper as well as an old writing set.

As you inspected the desk, a voice rang out, echoing off the domed stone ceiling.

“Who are you?”

You nearly screamed as you jumped, spinning around to find you were not alone in the room as you had previously assumed.

Standing before you was a man. He had black hair, golden skin and was tall with a slim figure. He wore an entirely black ensemble, complete with a black brocade vest, black dress coat, and black trousers. His shoes were made of a shiny black leather with golden metal tips at the toe.

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his curious gaze.

When you didn't answer him, he spoke again.

“Who are you?”

Taking a quick breath, you answered him in a rush.

“I'm so sorry, I had no idea anyone was here!” The words burst from your mouth before you had a chance to stop them. You apologized profusely as the man looked at you, amused.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked and you froze, uncertain of how you should respond before finally settling on an answer.

“I guess I just got nervous,” you answered sheepishly. The man tilted his head, like a puppy would upon having its name called.

“Why?”

You shrugged in response to his question. “I suppose I just wasn't expecting to meet anyone here.”

The man smiled again as he closed the distance between the two of you slowly, his footsteps echoing around the room with each step.

“And what are you doing here?” He asked. You hesitated to respond.

How exactly would you explain your reasoning for being here?

'My parents died and my father had a box of stuff relating to this place?'

No, he’d think you were absolutely mad.

Sensing your hesitation, the man took another step forward, climbing the steps one at a time. “You’d be surprised by the answers I get,” he started as he ascended the steps, stopping just before you.

You looked at him as he studied you. This close, you could see his dark brown, almost black eyes, darting around your face, seemingly taking in every feature.

“I’ve heard it all,” he continued, starting to circle you slowly as he looked over you.

“Fame, fortune, glory,” he rattled off as he continued to circle you like a predator.

“But what’s your excuse?”

You cleared your throat, turning to look at him behind you where he had stopped, meeting your gaze with an unreadable expression.

“Legacy I suppose,” you finally answered. The man’s eyes narrowed.

“Legacy?” His tone was curious and he waited for you to continue.

You decided there was no reason for you to lie and so you told him everything.

When you were done explaining the bedtime stories, the death of your parents, the inheritance, and finally the box in the attic, he continued to look at you curiously. “That’s a new one,” he admitted. “I’ve never heard of someone continuing in their parents’ steps before. So you aren’t here for the treasure?”

You shrugged again. “If there’s one to find, I’m not opposed to that, but that’s not entirely what brought me here. I’m fueled more by curiosity.”

The man smirked at you. “Curiosity is a dangerous thing,” he replied, continuing his circling from before. “They say curiosity killed the cat.”

His eyes met yours and you could have sworn you saw a flash of color in them.

Pushing it from your mind, you spoke up in retaliation.

“They also say satisfaction brought it back.”

The man’s smirk widened until he was chuckling.

"And so it did,” he said softly, moving to stand in front of you, his face mere inches from yours. “And is that what you hope to find, kitten? Satisfaction?”

Your stomach knotted at the use of the nickname, heat rushing to your core as you stared back at the man. “Perhaps,” you answered, trying to remain as unaffected as possible. The man chuckled again as he stepped around you and over to the desk.

“If it is satisfaction you seek,” he continued as he took a seat at the desk and glanced up at you. “Then perhaps you will find what you seek.” You watched him as he stared back at you.

"Satisfaction takes many forms," he continued, eyes studying you carefully. "I myself am also looking for it, in a way," he added before opening a drawer and reaching inside.

You watched as he pulled out a wooden box and set it on the desk.

You stared at it for a moment and then looked up at him. “What is it?”

The man gestured to the box. “Open it,” he said simply.

Sensing your reluctance, he sighed and reached over to undo the clasp holding the box shut and opened the lid, turning the box to show you the contents.

Or lack thereof.

You stepped forward, closing the distance between you and the desk to peer into the box.

A velvet lining covered the inside with indents in the material where something or rather a few somethings had been housed. Six of them to be precise.

“What’s this?” You asked, looking up from the interior of the box to meet his eyes.

“If you seek satisfaction, you’ll find it here in the Library,” he started, looking at you with his sharp eyes. “But to seek anything in this library, you need my permission first.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What, are you the librarian?” you snorted. The man smiled, clearly amused as well.

“Of sorts,” he answered. “Come,” he stated as he got up and beckoned you to follow him.

Descending the steps, you followed him around the room until he stopped near one of the doors. “Each door is locked,” he started to explain, taking the knob in his hand and trying to turn it and showing how it didn’t budge.

You glanced up at him as he looked down to meet your gaze.

“So how do I get in?” The man shook his head.

“You humans are always so eager. Just go in blindly without knowing what you’re looking for or who you’ll meet,” he said, sounding mildly annoyed.

It was your turn to sound annoyed.

“Okay, then explain it to me.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest and studied you for a moment before answering.

“I assume you don’t need an introduction to the Library. You clearly know what this place is.”

You nodded in response. “This place is home to a legendary treasure,” the man continued. You nodded again. “Yes, everyone knows that,” you interrupted.

The man’s smile was replaced with a frown. “Don’t interrupt,” he said sternly. You shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “Sorry,” you whispered.

“As I was saying,” he continued. “A legendary treasure is hidden here. As you stated, everyone who knows about this place, knows this. What they don’t know is where that treasure is hidden,” he added, his smirk back as your eyes widened.

“And you do?”

The man nodded slowly. “That I do.”

“Well, that gives you a distinct advantage,” you replied. “Why not take the treasure for yourself?” The man laughed loudly at this.

“What need would I have for the treasure?” He asked, shoulders still shaking from his laughter as it started to subside. You shrugged your shoulders. “What need does anyone have for treasure?” You asked in response.

The man chuckled again. “You humans are always so predictable. Greedy, selfish, self destructive,” he said, stepping forward, forcing you to back up until you were caged between him and the end of a shelf. “Us humans?” You asked, realizing you hadn’t picked up on it before, but he’d referenced a difference between himself and your species.

“Are you saying you aren’t human?”

His smile widened as he looked down at you. “You’ve finally caught on,” he said, sounding both pleased and disappointed. “I figured you would have noticed by now.” You glanced over him quickly. “You look human,” you noted.

He shook his head. “You aren’t looking. Truly looking,” he replied.

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant, he pulled away.

“But we’re getting off topic,” he said, taking a few steps away and turning to look at you. Staring at him, trying to see what he meant earlier, you noticed something different. At first glance, he looked completely human but then his eyes did that same thing, a flash of color before they returned to the same dark brown.

He seemed to have an aura about him. Something you couldn’t quite see but you could catch glimpses of it. Almost like a flicker. As you stared at him, witnessing these phenomena, he smiled.

“There,” he said finally. “You see it.”

You stared in awe. “What are you?” You asked, not even realizing how rude it might sound. The man didn’t seem to mind however.

“I’m something your kind cannot comprehend,” he answered. “Not fully anyway.”

“Who are you?” You asked in response to his answer. He smiled wider.

“See, I asked you that same simple question earlier,” he said, in the same amused tone from before, the same smile present on his face as he studied you.

“A question you still haven't answered,” he noted, one of his eyebrows raising up.

You realized he was right. He’d asked you much earlier who you were and you hadn’t answered him. “I’m Y/N,” you replied. “Y/F/N Y/L/N.” The man crossed the short distance between you in moments, startling you.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he replied, face inches from yours again.

“I’m Seonghwa and I’m the Keeper of Keys," he replied.

"Welcome to the Library of Illusion.”

#cultofdionysusnet #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez angst #ateez x reader #series: library of illusion

[writingsfromhome]

Golf on TV

Ask: fluffy piece based on Lennon Stella’s Golf on TV (sorry I deleted the original ask but this song is so fluff so ty!)

—————————

I wake up to the bed made, for a second I don’t know where I am. My sleep-addled brain tries to catch up to the present moment. The present morning.

I was in bed, in my new home. It was Saturday morning.

Last night had been a late one. I was the co-lead in an intense case at work and the plaintiff’s team had been smoking our ass in court. Last night we’d gotten boxes of newly admitted evidence and every single person stayed well into the AM to sort it out. The other side liked to play dirty and this is how they did it. Little did they know we’d found our smoking gun. Never underestimate Stewart, Stone, and Nowak.

But I’d gotten home and passed out on the couch. Well, I’d gotten home to Harry passed out on the couch with the TV on. He must have tried staying up for me even though I had told him to go home. But he stayed.

I remember the tension leaving my body just seeing him snuggled on the couch, his face a kaleidoscope of colours reflecting off from the TV. I’d met Harry less than a year ago, a meet cute moment where both of us had gone for the same taxi. He’d waved me in like a gentleman and I’d invited him to share it. Turns out we were only going a few blocks from each other.

He was from London, in San Francisco for work. The taxi ride had been 27 minutes in total but in that time it felt like we’d known each other for 27 years.

As soon as I saw him on the couch, I’d dropped my jacket there, and gotten in beside him. He’d barely stirred, and I passed out pretty quickly thereafter.

I sit up and the sham that was draped over me falls over the side of the bed. I check my watch, still on my wrist. It was past 7. A solid 4.5 hours—that was a restful night for me ever since I took this case on.

Harry must have carried me to bed, I realize. And I’d been dead to the world while he did.

I never expected to see him again after that taxi ride. Until a few weeks later, he was waiting for me in the courthouse lobby. He’d looked me up, saw I had a case that morning, and waited. It was his last week in San Francisco and he wanted to take me on a date. He hadn’t stopped thinking about me, he’d said. I hadn’t either.

I’d dated plenty before him, had several boyfriends, even a situationship. Harry was the first guy I ever felt relaxed around. From that first date he made sure I felt cared for, that I was happy—he was unafraid to put me first. Even when he had to go back to London and we were long distance for three and a half months, we were always talking.

I’d felt unwanted before. Those were the days I chased after boys that only liked me for doing the chasing. Never did they actually want me. Because when they got me, they’d leave and keep me chasing them forever. Harry had never once been shy about the fact that he wanted me. That he chose me over everything.

We were always running towards each other. Never after each other.

I blink away the sleepiness and notice Harry had put me in a tshirt. It was the little things.

That’s when I hear the voices coming from downstairs. Harry…and my mom.

It was time to get up.

“Good morning princess,” my mom spots me first. I looked bad this morning—even though Harry had attempted to take my makeup off whenever he’d taken me to bed, and replaced my slacks for shorts, I still had craters for eye bags and a tangled bedhead, and dehydrated and inflamed skin from sleeping with makeup. But mom never stopped calling me princess.

“Harry and I were just making pancakes,” she points to the griddle behind her. God, mom loved Harry. It was weird because she’d only ever met 2 of my boyfriends since I started dating as a teen. She hated both of them and was never shy about it. All the others she’d heard about over the phone or a late night snack at her house back when she lived close to where I worked. She hated them all equally. “We’re worried you’re not eating enough.”

I catch eyes with Harry, it was a constant argument with us. But it was hard to eat with a regular appetite when I was so close to the end of big cases. He knew that. He used my mom as a shield to push his own agenda, they worked as a team like that.

But it never made me mad. It was more caring than any ex had ever been.

“Pancakes are your favourite,” Harry says while towel-drying his hands. He’d been ‘washing up’, as he would say with his accent.

“They are,” I say as he walks around the island to me and kisses my cheek. He was always weirdly chaste around my mom, nothing like his behaviour late nights in bed.

Mom grins at me from behind him. She was obsessed.

So was I though.

“Let’s eat!” Mom says. “C’mon, we gotta eat before they get cold. Y/N grab the fruit behind you.”

“Sure mom,” I grab the bowl she prepared. Harry watches mom leave the kitchen with the pancakes and syrup. As soon as she’s out of sight he tugs me right against him.

“Y’know you don’t have to wait for her to leave to be my boyfriend?”

“Is that what I am?” He nuzzles my neck. “I thought I was just your boy-toy.”

“Nah,” I let him kiss me even though we’re both smiling. “My boy-toy’s like, 5 years younger than you are.”

“Yeah well, he’s not the one trying to take your makeup off at 5am while you talk about invoices and flash drives.”

“Oops,” I must have been talking about our smoking gun in my sleep. I couldn’t even rest unconscious. “Thank you for that. You could have left me on the couch.”

“Maybe if I was your boy-toy. But I’m your strong English boyfriend, I take you to bed.”

“And you do it so well,” I pat his arm condescendingly, stealing one more kiss before skirting away. I leave him chuckling in the kitchen and gathering the coffee for breakfast.

Before Harry, I didn’t realize love could be so selfless. That it didn’t have to hurt all the time. That one person could be enough.

“Y/N?” Mom asks. “What do you think?”

“Huh?” I’d gotten lost in thought and I see Harry smirk. I guess I was just staring at him.

“For your dad’s birthday coming up?!” She sighs. “I’ve been talking about his dinner—Harry said he has to go back to London the week before. I thought we could do a birthday dinner early so Harry can be there. You know your dad would like that.”

He would. My dad was just as keen on Harry, telling me that he was good for me—the way a man should be. Those were his exact words.

I remember I’d been confused at first when Harry and I started long-distance dating. He was more stable and consistent than relationships I’d had where we lived inches apart. Being long-distance, I’d only missed him physically when we were apart, he was still there for me in every other way.

When he officially transferred to his San Francisco office 5 months ago, he had surprised me. I remember opening my door to him standing there with flowers and macarons—my favourite dessert. I’d nearly smashed them all when I screamed and threw myself onto him.

After that moment I knew I was done with romanticizing dysfunction and compromising. His love was healthy and pure, and it was for me.

I tried my best to give that to him in return. Lately I’d been a bad girlfriend working long hours and barely seeing him. But I’d make it up to him. He didn’t know this but I’d booked the same flight to London with him, that’s why mom was trying to move dad’s birthday dinner up. So I’d be there too.

“Sounds great,” I say. “That way we can all make it.”

“Perfect I’ll make us a reservation.” Mom picks up her phone and begins typing on it with one finger, one key at a time. She tsks, “Oh why is it doing this now.”

“Here Mrs. Y/l/n,” Harry holds his hand out. “What are you trying to do.”

“This new update has been driving me crazy,” she hand her phone to Harry. He glances at me and we bite back a smile. Mom was notorious for being Bad at Technology. But Harry was always patient and tried teaching her.

“The search bar’s on the bottom now,” Harry shows her. “That’s where you type it in.”

“It was fine at the top why do they always have to move it around, gah I’ll just do this on a computer.”

“Yeah no rush mom,” I say.

“Well I’ll clear the table now. I need to get going soon I have a squash game at half eight.”

“Yeah I need be in by then.” Court opened at 9:30 today and I had to be there a half hour early to submit what we had.

“You two stay here,” mom begins piling plates. She’s surprisingly strong when she snatches the mug Harry’s trying to take away himself. “Let me clean up. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Thanks for the breakfast mom!” I shout as she heads away. Harry echoes a thank you.

“Don’t thank me,” I hear her mumble as she walks away.

Me and Harry are left grinning at each other. He holds his hand out on the table and I clasp his.

“Your mum’s sweet.”

“My mum,” I tease him. I keep his hand held as I go around the table to his seat. He tugs me down onto his lap. “Did you actually call your mom mummy as a kid?”

“Did you call your mum mommy?” Harry asks in a decent American accent.

“Maybe,” I smile.

“Maybe.” He replies.

“I’ll just ask your mum when I meet her someday.”

“She really does want to meet you.” He says seriously. “She thinks I’m deliberately keeping you away.”

“Maybe you are, so she can’t answer all the burning questions I have about you.”

“I can just imagine you and her teaming up against me. My sister will join in too.”

I’d met his sister a few months back when she visited. We hit it on immediately just like Harry and I had. It was a bit of a relief.

“I can’t wait to swap stories over breakfast with your mom.”

“Oh you’d love her breakfast,” Harry smiles fondly. I feel a twinge then, sometimes I wondered if he ever got homesick. Especially when he talked about memories from home. “She does the best English breakfast. You’d have to try black pudding though.”

I crinkle my nose, “Isn’t that the one with the blood?”

“Mmmm it sure is,” he grips my hips and a shiver shoots up my spine.

“Gross! Why would anyone eat that? Or your-what’s that other pudding thing? The one you tried making last winter that’s all puffy-“

“Yorkshire.” He smiles.

“You literally poured hot oil on your mixture. It’s clogging my pores just thinking about it.”

“That’s it. You’re coming to London before the year is over and you’re going to be begging for more when you have a proper roast. What I made at home was a pathetic attempt.”

“Mmm I don’t get it.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I just don’t get English food. It’s like people who wear crocs, or golf on TV, I don’t get it.”

“You just descibed,” Harry tucks my hair behind my ear, “the perfect date. We’re sorted for the weekend.”

I laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But I love you.” I kiss him. He pulls me back to him when I part.

“I love you.”

“I really do need a shower before I head in though,” I remind him.

“Maybe I’ll join you,” he says low enough so my mom can’t hear.

“If you’re brave enough with mom still here.” I tease.

“Okay hon,” she pops out of nowhere. “I’m heading out. Good luck with court today.”

“Thanks mom.” I get up and give her a big squeeze. “I appreciate you dropping by.”

“Of course. And I’ll drop dinner by tonight I saw the state of your fridge, you should clean that thing out y/n.”

“Yess mom,” I roll my eyes. Harry snickers behind me. Mom should see his fridge, it was half beer cans and takeout containers.

While mom tells Harry about the dinner she would drop by for us I get a headstart on my shower. It was already quarter to 8 and I couldn’t waste any more time.

Harry joins me shortly after, he lowers my hands when he gets in and washes my hair slowly with care. I nearly pass out in the shower with how good his fingers feel on my scalp.

“Thank you,” I turn to him after I wash it out.

“Don’t mention it love,” he kisses my temple.

“Harry,” I suddenly feel choked up. I think his scalp massage had unblocked some chakra stuff because I’m suddenly overwhelmed with feeling.

“What?” He tilts my face up.

“I’m just…I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Nonsense.” He swipes my tear away even though the stream of water makes it all the same.

“No I…I never thought I’d meet someone like you. I used to think love was hurting. It doesn’t make sense anymore-“

“Like golf on TV.”

“Yeah,” I laugh and it breaks up the knot in my throat. “Yeah like golf on TV. Now being in love feels like soccer-“

“Football.”

“Soccer,” I correct him. He grins. “It makes sense to me.”

“If you didn’t have work in 30 minutes,” Harry pulls me into him and crushes me against him. It feels good, like being held together. “You’d be face down in bed in the next 10 seconds.”

“Where’s this Harry when my mom’s around.” I tease.

“This Harry’s just for you.” He says just as he turns the shower off. I draw away as he grabs us some towels and I watch him with an unbreakable joy; if it was physical it could illuminate this tiled shower and bounce around the whole room.

He was the reason I got through all these gruelling hours for court. Because I knew I had someone waiting for me, that I could steal an hour away with, and it would leave me refuelled enough for another 24 hour work-day.

“Why are you smiling at me like that,” Harry asks as he hands me the towel. I shake my head and wrap it around me. He watches as I blow dry my hair, kissing my shoulder when I’m done.

“I’ll leave when you leave. Should I drop you off to the office?”

“Please?” I ask. “That’d give me an extra 5 minutes.”

His face lights up.

“No,” I say as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “No Harry I have to be early!”

“I only need 2,” he says as he launches me onto the bed. “Maybe 3.”

I pretend to be annoyed but I inch up in bed as he makes his way over and I can’t think of a better way to spend the extra 5 minutes. Or 10. Oops.

If the old me ever met the new me, she’d probably try to stop me. She didn’t know what love could look like. That it could be a gentle smile, a drive in to work, making sure you’re eating, helping your mom out with her phone, or washing your hair for you in the shower.

I’d tell her—the old me, that it was as simple as this: I wanted him, only him. And he wanted me too.

#writingsfromhome #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles fluff #lyrics #lennon stella #golf on tv #this was a cute song to write to #harry stylesxreader #harry styles one shot #harry styles request #i have a hard time writing pure fluff #so i love when a song just carries the whole fic w fluff #ty anon #this fic is qd #i’m on a fluff roll #thats new

[fandomxpreferences]

The Invisible Woman Chapter Seven: To Have Loved and Lost

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jake seresin x female!reader

TW: so much angst, im sorry

Summary: Jake goes digging for information when you're not back yet.

Word Count:1.8k

It's been almost a month since Jake watched you leave. He knows the timeline was just an estimate, but his gut is screaming at him that something isn't right. 

The team tries to comfort him and tell him he's overreacting but he can see it in their eyes. They feel it too. 

Against his better judgment, he's standing outside Admiral Cooper's office working up the nerve to knock. A few minutes pass and finally, he raises his fist and hits the hard wood.

"Come in." He hears and he timidly steps into the office, standing at attention. 

"At ease. What can I do for you?" He asks and Jake swallows. 

"Sir, I was wondering if I could get some sort of update on my girlfriend. She's been gone longer than expected and I'm worried." 

He watches Admiral Cooper's eyebrows shoot up and his attention is torn away from the work on his computer. 

"Who's your girlfriend, Lieutenant?"

He mentally prepares himself for what may come next before answering. "Ozzy, sir."

Admiral Cooper doesn't say anything at first but Jake can immediately see the change in his demeanor. The man's eyes fall and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. 

It makes Jake nauseous. 

"You know I can't give you details, son." 

Son. If there's one thing Jake knows, it's that a high-ranking official calling you outside of your name or rank is bad news.

"I'm not asking for details, sir. I know how sensitive the situation is. I just want to know if she's okay." He tries, desperation leeching into his voice. 

"Shut the door and take a seat." The man instructs and Jake does so silently. He claims the chair in front of the desk and stares ahead expectantly. 

"The two of you aren't married so I'm not legally obligated to tell you anything. However I've been where you are, and I know how it feels. This stays between us." He starts and Jake gives a weak nod. 

Where is he, exactly? When he walked in he thought he was just going to find out you would be back later than expected, but now he isn't so sure. 

"Three weeks ago, Ozzy and her team infiltrated their target and came under heavy fire. Ten of sixteen were killed. Ozzy and the other five are missing, presumed captured or dead."

Jake's vision goes blurry and his ears start ringing loudly. The words bounce around his skull, reverberating and immediately giving him a headache. Missing. Captured or dead.

You've been MIA for three weeks and he didn't even know. The realization almost makes him throw up.

He's brought back by a firm hand clapping him on his shoulder. He didn't realize he had started crying, the tears rolling off his face and landing on his flight uniform. 

"I'm sorry, son. We're doing everything we can to bring her and our men home, regardless of the outcome."

Jake nods his head absentmindedly and stands, walking out of the office and straight to Maverick on the tarmac. He doesn't even wait to be dismissed, too focused on his destination to care. 

The second Mav sees him, he knows something is wrong. His shoulders are tense and his cheeks splotchy as he fights off the sobs threatening to break free. 

"May I be dismissed for the day, sir?" His voice is strained and unrecognizable as he tries to talk around the lump in his throat. 

Jake never calls him sir. It's always Mav or Pops. He instantly agrees, resisting the urge to pry for more information.

"Go home, we don't need you distracted in the air." He agrees and Jake instantly turns to leave. 

"Jake!" Mav calls and he stops but doesn't turn back around. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

Mav sees his head dip just barely before he continues and takes a deep breath. Something tells him Jake isn't coming out of whatever this is the same. 

Nobody sees or hears from Jake for three days after that. When Bradley, Mav, and Phoenix show up at your house unannounced, they're taken aback. He's been staying here ever since you shipped out.

Jake's eyes are swollen and red, his beard unkempt, and his greasy hair all over the place. He's been drinking, they know that much. 

It's 9 am and they can smell the whiskey on his breath.

He doesn't say anything as he turns to go back to his spot on the couch and the three pilots take it as their invitation to come in. The house is a mess, and Bradley wrinkles his nose. Jake looks like absolute dog shit, and he feels like it too. 

He hasn't eaten since he found out, and trying to sleep is a cruel joke at this point. His body is borderline shutting down and everyone can see it. 

"What's going on, Jake?" Mav asks quietly, extremely concerned about the man he's come to look at as a son. 

Jake's answer is simple, but it knocks the wind out of them. "She's gone."

They all look at each other briefly and Bradley steps forward. "What do you mean? Who's gone?" They already know the answer, but much like Jake, they don't want to accept it. 

"Ozzy." He rasps. "She's missing, and they think she was captured or killed."

Phoenix feels her heart drop and she fights back the tears threatening to spill over her lash line. "Well, what about her team? They don't have any more information?" She tries and Jake shrugs. 

"They might if they weren't all dead or missing too. Ten confirmed and six MIA." He replies and Phoenix's hand covers her mouth. 

"Oh my god." It's the only thing she can muster up in response and the two men are struck completely silent. 

Jake takes another swig of Jack Daniels and Maverick finally speaks up. 

"Well, are they looking for her?" He asks and Jake shrugs. 

"As far as I know. I'm not going to be able to get any more information. It's a miracle I was able to find out in the first place." He slurs and Bradley takes the bottle. 

"Go take a shower, Jake. When's the last time you ate?" He questions and Jake leans back. 

"Lunch right before I found out." He replies and Mav shakes his head. 

"We'll order takeout while you get cleaned up. You need to be in the right mind when they find her." He instructs and Jake looks up at the older man. 

He appreciates the subtle way he says when not if, and it's enough to bring him to his feet. 

Bradley claps him on the shoulder and gives him a small smile. "She's tough, man. She wouldn't go down without a fight." 

Jake shakes his head and swallows thickly. "That's the thing. I don't know if that's true."

Maverick frowns and takes a step forward. "What does that mean?"

Jake runs a hand down his tired face and looks up at the ceiling. "Before she left, she had doubts about whether she was ready. She said she wasn't confident in her abilities." He explains and the three of them glance at each other. 

"Why would she say that?" Phoenix questions and Jake feels his eyes stinging again. 

"Her last mission before this one, she missed her target. It almost got her and her entire team killed. It fucked her up pretty bad, and she lost trust in her instincts." He whispers and all three of them drop their mouths open. 

"So then why would she go?" Mav asks genuinely confused. Jake lets out a humorless laugh and looks at the ground. 

"She said that telling them she isn't ready would be career suicide and that she would just lock the feelings away." He answers, his teeth sinking into his lower lip to stop it from trembling. "I knew it was bullshit, but I didn't push it. I shouldn't have let her go."

In an instant, the three of them are voicing their disagreements with the statement. "Jake you know better than anyone that you can't stop her from doing something she's set on. This isn't your fault." Bradley assures him. 

He hears the words but they don't do anything to soothe him. 

"Tell you what, go take a shower and well eat. I'll call Ice and see what I can find out." Mav offers and Jake nods. 

He watches as the younger pilot walks off and pulls out his phone. 

Mavs eyes close and he pinches the bridge of his nose as Ice explains the situation. 

"It's been almost a month. They want to pronounce her dead and move on. I'll see what I can do to extend that timeline, but once it hits the three month mark they're going to call it. I wont be able to get any more time than that." Ice tells him solemnly and Mav can't believe his ears. 

"So she goes missing serving her country and just like that, she's written off?" He asks angrily and Ice sighs. 

"I'll let you know when I know more. But between me and you, it doesn't look good. Even if she is alive, she's probably wishing to be killed." He says and the two men hang up. 

Jake comes down the stairs and looks at Mav with a hopeful expression. It makes his heart sink and he takes a deep breath, preparing to rip out the aviator's heart all over again. 

"We don't know anything except that they want her pronounced dead." He murmurs and rage instantly floods Jake's nervous system. He goes to argue but Mav continues. 

"Ice is trying to have that timeline moved to three months, but after that, they're going to stop looking." He forces out and Jake's knees nearly buckle.

Whatever happened, it must be pretty fucking bad for them to give up that quickly. It means they have next to no hope of finding you alive. 

Bradley shakes his head and scoffs. "We'll fight for her, Jake. Don't worry." 

Jake gives him a grateful smile and sits down to eat. He doesn't consume much, mostly playing with his food as his stomach does flips. 

"Come back to work." Phoenix says and Jake looks at her like she's crazy. "I know, but it'll help keep you distracted. Sitting here drinking yourself to death isn't helping anybody." 

He looks like he's going to protest but relents. Maybe she's right. "Okay, I'll be in tomorrow." He mutters and she gives him a warm smile. 

They all give him a hug and bid their goodbyes with one last reassurance. He climbs the stairs, his feet feeling like lead. Just like every night since you left, he crawls into bed and cuddles your pillow. It smells less like you now, and he's been spraying it with your perfume. 

He momentarily wonders if you'll be mad about your tear-stained pillowcases before pushing the thought to the back of his mind. He'd do anything to hear your voice right now, even if you're yelling at him. 

He pulls out his phone, swiping through pictures and videos of your smiling face, and the heavy feeling in his chest eases the slightest bit. He stays like that for hours, playing old voicemails and re-reading texts before exhaustion overtakes him. 

They'll find you, he tries to convince himself. They have to.

@drakelover78  @manyfandomsfanvergent @ssprayberrythings @disturbedbeautywrites @desert-fern @one-sweet-gubler @callmemana  @luckyladycreator2 @bookchik26 @taytaylala12 @michalkasimp @xoxabs88xox @loveless-simp @withakindheartx @formulapierre @ccristata @shanimallina87 @k-k0129 @izz-ayes-world  @kajjaka @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @phantomxoxo @rosiahills22 @gspenc @chair-things @benhardysdrumstick @cookielovesbook-akie @dempy @wellshit6 @zbeez-outlet @sopheeg @callsign-milano @gizmodear @cornishkat @fox-bee926

#jake seresin #top gun maverick #top gun imagine #hangman top gun #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin top gun #jake seresin series #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin angst #hangman imagine #hangman angst #hangman x reader

[chilly-me-softly]

Expect The Unexpected • Mason Mount pt.2

I just really hope you'll love this as much as the part one. Thank you for your likes and comments, it means a lot 💙

-

"My god I think I might throw up"

"Hey - Mason calls you back placing himself in front of you stroking your arms - have I told you how sexy you look in this dress yet?"

"Mason" a sort of moan comes out of your mouth as he laughs leading you towards him and leaving a kiss in your hair.

"Sixty seconds guys"

"It'll be fine okay? I'm right here with you"

You only have time to nod before a staff member approaches to take you even closer to where you are supposed to walk in. There's a small screen nearby where the host is announcing the next guests and all around you a small countdown starts before your names are announced and that curtain opens allowing you to enter the studio.

Mason takes your hand, holding it and silently reminding you of what he said a few seconds earlier, a smile on your faces as you walk those few metres to your seats.

You greet the host for the cameras even though you saw each other just before the show chatting and then go and sit on the small sofa placed almost opposite her seat.

It has been about three months since your lives were suddenly turned upside down with the birth of your daughter and although an announcement had been made at the time due to the obvious confusion in the stadium that day, neither of you had yet openly spoken about the incident. And how could you if even now there were moments when you could hardly believe how your life had taken a completely different turn in such a short time.

You had somehow managed to keep some privacy, you wanted to be the one to explain if and when you thought it was the right time. And it was certainly better in the grand scheme of things, so you had decided to accept the offer you had been made and tell your story in your own words.

"Mason, (y/n) thank you for being here with us today. Congratulations on your baby girl"

"Thank you" a round of applause starts as your gaze falls on the picture they put on the screen as background, you and Mason in one of the many pictures taken from his social. You're looking into each other's eyes, Mason has a hand on your hip and you remember him telling you how breath taking you were that night.

"You are here today to tell your story, an almost surreal story isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's probably one of the words you can describe it with" Mason steps in, surely more used to interviews, cameras and all those people around.

"You (y/n) gave birth to a baby girl, from an unexpected pregnancy. Can you explain to us how that went?"

"It all happened very quickly actually. I was at the stadium that day when I started to feel a sort of discomfort in my stomach that I didn't give much thought to, but the pain increased as time went on and eventually when we got to the hospital I was told I was ready to give birth and I was there thinking everyone had gone mad because my belly was flat"

"What did you think at that moment?"

"Honestly everything and nothing. Everything happened so fast, at that moment you can only go with the flow. Then she was placed in my arms and it was there that something began to dawn on me"

"There hadn't been any particular signs that might have raised a doubt?"

"No, not at all. Many women find out about such a pregnancy by pure chance. I went on with my everyday life, and never had any reason to worry that something was wrong"

"Now you are at home. How are you handling all this, becoming parents?"

"Mason" you sigh trying to go back to sleep, you don't know what time it is but it's certainly not the time to get up "Mason, your alarm"

"Mmh" he murmurs turning towards you, unconsciously brushing against your side as you almost groan because he's turned the wrong way.

And so you open your eyes, aware that even that day you'll have to be the one to make sure Mason leaves the house on time and you won't go back to sleep. But it's a moment and your brain seem to connect what that noise really is and you get out of bed sharply.

"What? What happened?" obviously all that movement has woken him up too, who with his eyes still half closed looks at your figure moving around the room.

"Just the baby crying. I'll go make her some milk" you cover a yawn badly with your hand taking her from her cot borrowed from his sister and moving quickly out of the room.

"Mase go back to sleep, you'll be a wreck tomorrow" you sigh when you see him lean against the kitchen doorframe, rubbing one eye and with his pillow face still evident.

"You know we can tell mum to stay a couple more nights"

"Your mum can't stay here forever" you use a slightly harsh tone and you don't even glance at him by accident, yet he comes closer wrapping his arms around your waist careful of the little girl in your arms.

"I know, but maybe a couple more nights won-"

"It's not the night the problem - you wriggle out of his grasp as if you've been burned - the problem is that we don't have anything ready, a room or clothes, my stuff is still at my house because we don't have time to set up properly and I'm so tired"

"Love we can't do everything at once, we just need some-"

"Don't finish that sentence" you interrupt him glaring at him, he hides his face in his hands for a moment.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. Just go to sleep, I'll finish up here and I'll be there" he looks at you unsure for a few moments before returning to the room.

Mason tries to stay awake but his eyes close as soon as he rests his head on the pillow, and when the baby cries again right a couple of hours later you're already up.

"The first couple of weeks were hard, I'm not ashamed to say that I lived them very badly. To the point of even refusing to stay in the same room as the baby at times"

"Why is that in your opinion?"

"Because... because I needed to stop and think. Instead, I found myself thrown into a situation bigger than myself in a world that doesn't wait for you and with this little creature needing you constantly" Mason reaches for your hand casually, intertwining your fingers and placing them on his leg.

"How did you get through this?"

"I talked to a few people and Mason, and we turned to a professional figure. Thinking we could do it alone was not the right way"

"What do we want to talk about today?" sitting opposite the doctor you blanked out, there were so many things you could have said to her and yet at that moment you didn't know what to say. Or how to begin the conversation.

"First of all thank you for making time for me even without Mason"

"One-on-one sessions are as important as if not more so than couples sessions"

"There's one thing, but I don't know how to explain it"

"Take all the time you want" she reassures you, turning the pen over in her hands.

"It's just... this week went well. It finally felt like everything was in place: we took the baby to the park and to meet some friends and had some good family time you know? But there was one time when-I had a hard time recognising her, I-I was looking at her but it was like she was a stranger to me"

"Why do you focus on that time, on that one negative episode?"

You think about the question the therapist just asked you before you look at her a little intimidated by what you are about to ask, "What if I didn't have that kind of connection? What if I don't have the maternal instinct?"

"I take it then that you haven't talked to Mason about it?" she asks, but you shake your head.

"Not yet. It's just that I don't want to scare him off and I needed to get this thing right first to explain it to someone else"

"That sounds about right. (y/n), most women have about nine months to come to terms with becoming a mother. You are experiencing this in a very compact time and already with a child to take care of"

"So it's normal" you double check.

"I would say yes. You don't have any kind of illness, you just need time to process"

"I'm beginning to hate that word. Time" you play down by rolling your eyes.

"It is necessary. If you speed up the healing process or worse ignore it, you may heal but you will be fragile and prone to relapse. And we don't want that, but to have a full recovery so you are at your best to face life"

"It's confusing because I push her away but at the same time I can't be without her. Like now, she's with Mason's mum but I can't wait to get her back. I know as soon as I see her though, something inside me shuts down"

"You often talk about Mason's family and how they are helping you from the beginning. What about your family instead?"

"Oh they live far away, they're not the kind of people who move around a lot so they wait for me to go to them"

"They haven't seen the baby yet?"

"On video call"

"Have you tried telling them that you would like them here with you? That you need them?"

"It's fine - you shrug - I know what they're like. When I moved here I was quite aware of all this"

"However, that doesn't mean you can't miss them. Especially at such a crucial time in your life"

"We will probably need a lot more time to talk about this topic"

"See, even this making jokes when you feel too exposed is part of the problem"

"I realise that. It's a sort of wall I put up over time so that I don't get hurt anymore and have no expectations. And I also realise that... it might be the reason why I can't really express how I feel about my daughter now"

"Being strong is allowing yourself to show weakness. Reflect on this until the next session"

"Mason, what are you like as a father instead?" the host asks as a picture appears on the screen in which he is leaning over your baby's feet, just so that only that of her is shown.

"I'm home" Mason is greeted in the house by noises in the kitchen and the crying of the little one, and sighs not quite a fan of another eventful evening. His ears are still ringing from the last two.

"Hey, look who's here... daddy. Daddy's here!" he hears you coo, and flashes a smile before stopping to put down his wallet and keys on the coffee table before entering the kitchen.

"Hi. Hi baby girl" he leaves a kiss on the top of her head before moving closer to you and brushing his lips with yours. "Still screaming?"

"She never stopped"

"Great" he rolls his eyes glancing up at the messy, dirty kitchen.  "I need a shower"

"Do you want to go now? We can eat something later"

"Yeah, that's fine" Mason leaves the kitchen area behind and takes his time in the shower, letting the water hit his shoulders. But it's as if those screams are in the bathroom speaker, not at all muffled by the distance.

He lifts his head towards the jet, rubbing his face and running his hands through his hair. He would have liked a quiet evening, perhaps to be joined by you in the shower allowing him to unload the heaviness of the day. Instead his bad mood is always there, when he comes down and the dishes are put on the table, and it almost seems to increase when you try to make that high-pitched voice to try to make the baby stop crying. Unsuccessfully of course.

He just wants some slack, he doesn't seem to be asking for much.

"Do you want to try? Maybe with you she'll give in" you hand him the bottle after you've failed to get her to latch on for the last few minutes. And for a moment it seems to happen, silence doesn't seem that far away. But you can't even look into each other's eyes relieved that it all starts again, if not louder.

"What's wrong uh?"

"Mason-"

"What the fuck is wrong?" in a gesture of annoyance he throws the bottle spilling it all over the floor

"Mason!" you call back to him surprised, approaching and quickly taking the baby in your arms. "What's wrong with you!"

"I just want some peace of mind! Am I asking too much?"

"Go take a walk. Get out of my sight" you're bloody serious, the little episode obviously didn't have the desired effect with the crying still in full swing.

"I'm done with all this shit" he throws his hands up before disappearing from that room, leaving you to fix everything.

-

You knock on the room door gently, opening it and placing the baby monitor on the dresser beside it. The room is dimly lit but you can see where Mason is. You then approach him, climbing onto the bed and holding him tightly from behind.

"I can't do this. Maybe this isn't for me" he quickly lets go as soon as he feels your body attach to his and you leave an elusive kiss in the crack of his neck.

"You've had a rough day Mason, it happens. Doesn't mean you're to throw away"

"I can't even put all that aside for my daughter. I'm a horrible dad"

"I cried three times just today Mase - you start stroking his hair absentmindedly - and someone always tells me it takes time to settle in. Some days will be good, some days will be terrible but it will be worth it"

"I don't know this person" you chuckle at his grumbling, leaving a kiss on his temple.

"You don't always have to be strong for me, you know. You can let it out, be honest, whatever it may be. Because I don't want you to burst out so suddenly"

Mason turns on his back looking you in the eye as you continue to rhythmically run your hand through his hair. "It's just that when you come for comfort... I need to show confidence, you need it especially now"

"There's two of us in all this, and maybe I've been a bit selfish by taking you for granted" he shakes his head bringing a hand to stroke one of your cheeks gently.

"I wanted to be the one always there for you, you know"

"And you are, you are Mason okay? Just this thing that happened to us... happened to both of us okay? You have every right to feel down sometimes or not understand how you feel" Mason turns on his side facing you and burying his head in your chest, and you stop talk not feeling like it's the right time to push any further now.

"I would never hurt her" he whispers after a while when you think he's asleep by now and you just want to hold him close to you.

"I know Mase... I know"

-

"Daddy didn't mean to scream earlier" it's around two in the morning and Mason is on the couch with the baby in his arms, letting you rest while unconsciously still paying the price for what happened hours before. "It's just a new and very confusing time and I'm still trying to adjust"

"You might as well stop screaming like a little demon though" the little one stares at him with those big eyes so similar to his own, the shadow of a smile on her face. And Mason can't help but caress her gently as he seems to study her every little detail, as if it were the first time he had seen her. "A very cute demon"

"I was not quite ready for what it meant to have a child of my own. Many things have changed, there are different priorities and many questions on the plate. For my part there is so much desire to get to know her and to grow together with my daughter and my family now"

"Are you active in nappy changing and feeding or are you one of those fathers just in for the fun?"

"Well I admit that I am not a fan of the night shift but I strongly believe that both parents should help. Obviously she's around more and has more things under control but as soon as I'm home I make sure I give her a hand"

"The baby is completely hooked, hands down her favourite"

"That's not true" Mason lowers his gaze trying his best to hide the thin line of embarrassment on his cheeks as you squeeze his hand.

"You were away with the national team just a few weeks ago. Was it difficult?"

"A lot. It was the first time I'd left both of them alone for so long since she was born and... let's just say I'm discovering other sides of myself"

"And how are things between you two?"

"We are also working on our relationship. Obviously we weren't prepared for any of this and a kid changes the dynamics of a couple a bit, let's face it"

"We can't say that everything always runs smoothly, obviously it wouldn't be a healthy relationship. But we are both open to dialogue and making things work out as best we can"

"Had you ever talked about having children?"

"We had started testing the ground for a possible living together"

"Early stages yeah"

"Yeah, so we were pretty serious about us but not that serious yet" Mason chuckles beside you making a smile appear on your face too.

"So it's still too early even to ask anything about a possible wedding?"

"Definitely" one of Mason's thumbs lightly strokes the back of your hand.

"Is she asleep?"

"Yeah deeply" you settle into bed yawning, resting your head on the pillow on your side looking at Mason in the same position as you. "We should take the opportunity to sleep"

"I know" but neither of you hint at closing your eyes or changing position.

"Do you think like- we're getting boring?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we're in our mid-twenties and there was a time when I would have already jumped all over you, while now-" you laugh genuinely interrupting him, sliding closer to him sharing his pillow.

"We have a baby and less time to sleep"

"You know we use that a lot as an excuse lately"

"It's not an excuse, it's the truth - you feel one of his hands rest on your hip - and as long as we're on the same page we have nothing to worry about"

"But I miss you. I don't want to sound ungrateful or moody but sometimes I miss the us from before"

"Yeah me too" Mason slides his head back on the pillow until your noses practically touch.

"How about next week we take a couple of days just for us somewhere?"

"I'm totally up for it - your lips are about to meet when you pull back slightly causing him to moan softly - But nothing crazy"

"It's not like we're eloping, just trying to hang out again for sex" you smack him on the arm for his total honesty.

"Ways to be romantic"

"Will you marry me?"

"Not right now. And especially not because we had a baby"

"I know we've rushed a lot of things in the last period, but I really was already dreaming of marrying you one day before all this"

"Even before moving in together?" you ask surprised by his revelation, a sweet smile on your face.

"Since we ran in the rain that night and you worried that I wouldn't get sick" and you stay looking deeply at each other, both of you remembering that episode of one of your first dates briefly with a smile on your lips.

"You're right I would have gone crazy" he laughs, however he finally manages to kiss you.

"One day I will put that ring on your finger, and it will be the best day of my life"

"It's been three months-"

"One hundred days" Mason points out with a huge grin on his face.

"See, that's what I was talking about earlier"

"Just so smitten- the host teases him along with you- what do you wish for your little girl? Do you want to tell her something for the future?"

You and Mason share a quick glance before you speak, "Well first of all I wish her always to be happy and that she has the opportunity to do what she wants in her life"

"We will always support her, no matter what happens or how difficult it may be. We might make mistakes, it will almost certainly happen more than once, but we will always try to be on her side"

"Thank you guys, it was a pleasure to have you here today"

"Thank you so much"

And that evening, once home wrapped in the warmth of what has become more and more your home, Mason arrives from the kitchen humming. In his hand a small cupcake with a candle.

"Mason-" your eyes shining with excitement as you watch him sit down being careful that the little one doesn't lean towards the flame.

"These last few months have been hard, adjusting has been hard, but I mean it when I say I'm glad she's in our lives now. So lets celebrate. To the first hundred days of our princess, the first hundred as parents" together you blow the candle, and there's no need to add more.

#mason mount #mason mount imagine #mason mount imagines #football imagine #football imagines

[onceuponastory]

family - sierra six/court gentry x reader

Plot: When Claire is missing her old life and hobbies after everything that happened, Six knows what to do. // Requested by anon. Pairing: Sierra Six/Court Gentry (I use both names in this) x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death, kidnapping, trauma, scarring and nightmares. Also some mentions of reader seeing/hearing things that aren’t there. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: My Six streak continues! Thanks anon for the request! I hope you like it.

Once again, not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

“Morning Claire.” Y/N smiles, dishing up their breakfast as she sits down at the table.

“Morning Y/N. Where’s Six?” Y/N frowns as her brain swims with thoughts. Thoughts on how to tell Claire that Six is outside cleaning up after another assassin tried to break in last night. Then again, Claire probably knows already. She’s a smart kid, and even though she’s tough as nails (especially with her heart condition), Y/N can still tell that this whole thing is upsetting her. Being kidnapped, losing her uncle and then almost losing both her and Court has been tough. On all of them. 

Tenderly, Y/N runs her finger along the scar on her abdomen. The scar left on her by Lloyd Hansen, who still haunts her nightmares to this day. Even though he’s been dead for at least a month now, she’s still terrified of him somehow coming back and finding them again. And especially finishing the job he started. Sometimes, Y/N swears she hears his laugh or his voice when nobody is there. Even though Six always checks each lock before they go to bed, Y/N’s still terrified. Lloyd Hansen infiltrated and corrupted every aspect of their safe, happy lives. And he’s still doing it now, even in death. Like some sort of boogeyman.

“Morning.” Court’s voice sounds as he walks into the room, cutting through her thoughts. Y/N breathes a small sigh of relief. It’s over. It’s just the three of us. Just focus on the good times. He takes her into his arms, gently pecking her on the lips. “You alright?” He whispers, noticing the fear in her expression. Y/N nods. “Y/N….” He trails off, but she shakes her head.

“Not here. I’m okay. Promise.” She murmurs. Reluctantly, Court nods, and the pair sits down with Claire to eat.

“I know what you’re both gonna say….” Claire says suddenly, and Y/N and Court raise a brow. “But I was wondering if we could go see a movie? Instead of being stuck in the house?” Seeing the look on their faces, she sighs. “Or not.” 

“I’m sorry. It’s just not safe yet.” Court sighs as Y/N reaches over to take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. Despite her obvious disappointment, Claire fixes a smile on her face, and she nods. Y/N feels her heart breaking. She’d love more than anything to say yes, and for the three of them to spend a day together doing normal family things. But it’s just not possible. Especially since the CIA and everyone else Court pissed off are still hunting them. Being on the run and hiding are the only things that can keep them safe. 

Still, it’s not fair to Claire to be stuck inside, wasting her days in case someone spots them. If Y/N could, she’d take it all away from her and just give her a normal life. Her trauma, her condition, everything. All gone.

If only life worked like that.

“Thanks for breakfast. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” Claire murmurs, pushing her chair out and leaving the room.

“Poor kid.” Y/N sighs as she watches her go. “I wish we could do something.”

“Actually.” Court muses. “I think we can.” Quickly, he gets up, pressing another kiss to her temple. “I have some things to do.” Before she can even ask what he means, or if he wants her to help, he’s gone, and Y/N is left alone at the table, frowning.

What the hell is he planning?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Claire, sweetheart, are you okay?” Y/N asks a few hours later, knocking on her door. It’s been a while since she went inside and shut her door, and even though she can still hear her records playing, Y/N is getting worried. It’s not like her to be so quiet. “Do you want something to eat? A drink?” No further noise sounds, and Y/N’s heart rate increases as she panics that something bad has happened. Yet, just before she’s about to call Court to break the door down, it opens, and Claire’s head pops out. The red rim around her eyes shows she’s been crying, and Y/N’s heart sinks. “Oh, love.” She soothes, opening her arms out for Claire to come in for a hug, which she does.

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs into Y/N’s sweater, making Y/N’s heart break all over again. It’s not her fault. None of this is. “I’ve just been missing my uncle a lot recently, and with everything that’s happened-” Another sob sounds, and Claire squeezes Y/N a little tighter.

“Sweetheart, it's not your fault. Six and I understand. It’s awful being stuck in here all the time.” Y/N tells her, gently stroking her hair. “But I promise you, we love you very much, and we will always protect you.”

“I love you too.” She replies, and Y/N almost starts crying at that. The girls stay cuddled together for a while, until Court’s voice sounds.

“Hey, what’s-” Without another word, Claire detaches herself from Y/N, and immediately tackles him in a hug, knocking him off guard slightly. Court looks up at Y/N, and when he sees the tears in her eyes, he understands. “Oh.” He murmurs. Wrapping one arm around Claire, he opens his other one, which Y/N cuddles into. The trio stay there for a while, safe in each other’s embrace. “I have a surprise for you.” Court says after a while. “Follow me.” He gestures down the hallway, and the girls do as he asks. He leads them towards the living room, and they gasp when they see what he’s done.

Fairy lights stretch across the room, illuminating it with their soft glow. Blankets and cushions lay across the couch, and bowls of snacks and ice cream sit on the coffee table. A movie, no doubt Claire’s favourite, is set up on the TV. “I know it’s not exactly the same as the movie theatre, but I hope it’s just as good.” A warm feeling, one of love, fills Y/N’s entire body. They’re so lucky to have him. 

“Thank you!” Claire squeals, giving Court another squeeze before running over to the couch and burying herself under the blankets. Y/N squeezes Court’s hand. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” She whispers, and he smiles.

“Just for you two.” He kisses her softly, and she moans happily, melting into his embrace once more.

“Guys, come on! The movie is about to start!” Claire’s voice sounds, and Y/N and Court break apart, laughing. They join her under the blanket, and all three snuggle in together as the movie plays. In their brief time together, the three have been through a lot, and there’s undoubtedly more to come. Yet, moments like this, spent together and as a family show that maybe things will be alright after all. 

As long as they’re together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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#sierra six x reader #sierra six x you #sierra six x y/n #sierra six #court gentry x reader #court gentry x you #court gentry x y/n #court gentry #the gray man #the gray man fanfic #the gray man spoilers #the gray man fanfiction