ik normally we talk about situations like what shubble opened up about, we wanted to take time to think through everything especially because of how upsetting the topic is to us personally. as of now, we do agree that signs point to wilbur so we wont support him and we encourage others to not support him during this time and especially not actively defend him.
but we dont want to make a big deal out of not supporting him so focus can be on shubble and people learning how to see signs of abuse. we're already not very active due to our own recent experience with a traumatizing friendship (we hesitate to really call it abuse yet) but regarding that experience and others weve had we can focus on another big part of shubbles stream: educating others about the signs of abuse. so we want to use the rest of this post to talk about that
abusers will be everywhere and anywhere. yes there will be more in this community, but youll find them no matter where you go and there will be abusers in your personal life as well, whether you end up being abused or someone you know does. theres abusers who are "obvious", who scream and yell and hit. and theres abusers who are charismatic, who will be supportive and funny and yet passive aggressive and backstabbing. and theres abusers who will be quiet and cold and manipulative. and theres abusers who fall into multiple "categories" because theyre complex people just like anyone else and thats why abuse can happen to everyone. because abusers can be anyone.
dont get yourself caught up in how "theyre such a good person", dont get yourself caught up in thinking abuse could never happen to you. if you find yourself in a situation where communication doesnt work, where the other person hurts you over and over and doesnt show signs of getting better, where you keep finding ways to blame yourself and defend them (especially if you find yourself thinking that you deserve how they treat you), where youre scared of them and how theyd react if you told them so, where when you tell them you dont like how they treat you they dismiss you and start treating you worse, look into how to get out of there.
and know that it will take a while. that abuse is hard to get away from. that sometimes youll be trapped for a long time and sometimes youll relapse and defend them even after youve realized theyre abusive. and there will be people who support your abuser over you and people who will hate you and believe your abuser over you. and there will be people who support you but will still support your abuser too for whatever reason. and there will be people who support you fullheartedly and care for you and help you even if it takes you a long time to find them.
abuse is complex. "good people" can be abusive. no matter the fandom, no matter the community, no matter the when who where how why there will always be abusers around. no matter where you go or who you talk to there will always be some case of abuse. the important thing is to educate yourself.
learn about tactics like DARVO (deny, attack, reverse [the roles of] victim and offender), keep notes of the hotlines and organizations about abuse. keep the discussion of how to spot abuse and support the victims open. and always, always, keep more affection in your heart for victims than you do hate for abusers. make yourself someone who can be confided in and trusted to not take advantage of that trust.
and remember: if youre a victim yourself, its okay if you didnt do everything "right". its okay if your feelings keep changing, its okay if you were an asshole victim, its okay if you didnt see the signs even when others pointed them out to you, its okay if you did things "wrong". abuse is hard to sort through and what matters is not whether you "provoked" them, its that they had the power to hurt you and get away with it and they used it, over and over. and thats horrible and what you deserve is to get out and to be able to speak about it without getting hurt for it.
if shubble's story and others like hers resonate with you, tell people. it doesnt have to be public. in most cases it shouldnt be. tell people who you can trust in private and get the support you need so that when youre able and ready to you can get out. and know that there are people like you and even if you feel alone right now you wont be forever
12 notes
·
View notes
my personal timeline of zeke's family life
his dad was the kid of nursing home grandma and grandpa who died of a stroke a few years back (they met bcuz of mascot costumes and bonded over it) -> when his dad was eighteen or nineteen he got his girlfriend pregnant w/ zeke's brother and decided to marry her and have a family together -> 30ish years later zeke's brother (who would have been born in the 1970s) has moved out and started his own life and family and zeke's dad's first marriage is having issues staying together -> zeke's dad cheats on wife with high schooler and gets her pregnant around the time of the prom (going with season 14 this would be around 2008 or 2009 so his mom probably used myspace as a teen. fun fact) -> zeke's dad's first wife divorced him when she realized he cheated and so zeke was in divorce court in diapers -> zeke likely spent most of his life living with his dad as his mom was too young to take care of him -> zeke's dad meets cheryl and they get into a relationship together. zeke is 13 years old -> cheryl has a baby who may or may not be related to zeke & who is breastfeeding. brother at this time is 44 and dad is 63. zeke's mom is 30 but not currently in his life. zeke's grandmother is most likely in her mid 80s & zeke's cousin leslie is on his mom's side and probably the child of mom's older sibling (hence why he's closer in age to zeke than his dads siblings kids would be)
2 notes
·
View notes
Just thinking out loud:
I was honestly expecting that exchange between Charly and Isaac to go a little differently; not in the sense that Charly would forgive him or anything at all like that, or her revealing she was in love with Amanda (honestly I called that Episode 1), but rather when Charly asked: "Does your machine brain have any concept of what love is?" Isaac answers: "I do not understand."
Judging by how he has otherwise been reacting to "the big concepts" this season, I kind of expected complete silence in response. The tilting head. The "clarify"/"go on, I'm listening" or even the "blank expression but something is turning around in that head" reaction. First season he would have defined the term.
But then thinking further about it...Isaac doesn't clarify what it is he didn't understand, nor did he specifically indicate that he didn't understand the question. I think, if I had to put reason to it, Isaac understood the question, but didn't understand what it had to do with anything - the context was missing. Then during the rest of Charly's reveal, *then* he is silent because the reasoning for the question has been explained. The reveal goes on. He reiterates his thanks regardless of her personal feelings. He is processing it now.
But damn would that have ever been a good time for another well placed "I believe that is a common experience we share" though.
Just mic drop that into the conversation and go back to work.
9 notes
·
View notes
Oh my god I'm only just now catching up on all the insufferable celebrity tributes (the Elton John nonsense was expected but still ridiculous, I was genuinely shocked by the Misha Collins tweet, and by the time I got to the Harry Styles video I was so desensitized I could only snort). But now all I can think about is . . . Taylor . . . PLEASE keep your mouth shut . . . PLEASEEEEEEE
4 notes
·
View notes