#and simultaneously not write to will bc that's romantic and that's a gesture reserved for el ('ThAtS bEcAuSe ShE's My GiRlFrIeNd WiLl!')

[chirpsythismorning]

This is a continuation in exploring why I think Mike's character regression over the seasons can be explained in part by guilt, which he has yet to confront

Original post

Now we're onto s2, which jumps us ahead in the timeline a bit.

Mike has been calling out to El on the walkie for approx. 252 days now, under what he views as the false hope she might actually be alive. This is mostly based on the fact that Mike thought he saw El outside of his house a few hours after she 'died' (he did see her, bc she was there...) and so a part of him does think there's a chance. And yet this is also isn't something Mike seems to be comfortable talking about the others with.

Which brings us to the crazy together scene. Although this scene has a lot going on, there's one aspect of it in particular that I want to focus on, as it's the driving force for what is going to be discussed, which is that Halloween night was also the last night Mike called El, aka day 353.

I just want to preface what follows, with the fact that I do not personally think Mike giving up calling El, as a concept on its own, means that he couldn't possibly love El romantically or something. It's not even about that idea from an audience perspective. And this is because any average person, in reality, mourning someones' death, should not be calling out to that person for almost a year. Letting go doesn't make you a bad person, whether it was romantic, platonic or even familial. It's called healing and accepting what is and trying to move on and live your life.

Neither does Mike giving up after that night make him heartless or a bad character in my opinion. It literally just makes him human. But that also doesn't mean that's how Mike feels about it, nor does it mean that the manifestation of this guilt isn't going to affect his behavior over the course of the series, causing some very unfortunate choices on Mike's part to then lead to some very unfortunate events for everyone...

Where it starts to get sort of complex is that I think the whole point of the crazy together scene and where it ended up was to for it to showcase how Mike and Will were both willing to accept each other, despite these secrets they've been keeping to themselves.

Will revealed the truth to Mike about how he could still see into the UD, with the addition of seeing this big 'shadow in the sky', followed by asking Mike to not tell the others because they wouldn't understand. Mike then responds by saying El would understand, followed by confiding his own secret to Will that he's been keeping from the others, which is that he thinks he's seen signs that El could still be alive.

The scene then ends with them in agreement that if they're both going crazy, they'll go crazy together, with it arguably being their most incriminatingly romantic moment to date, as it juxtaposes other uncannily similar romantic mentions on the show involving that same word.

But no matter what happens, they're promising to support each other, specifically the weird shit they have going on and could presumably continue to explore that weirdness, without telling anyone else who might judge them for it or misunderstand their feelings entirely...

This is why Mike had no problem with Will going crazy in s2 because as promised, he was going to be right there with him. Also meaning, Mike COULD have had no problem continuing to test out his theory that El was alive, because Will would have supported him.

Obviously, Will sort of had his hands tied in s2 (literally?), but the point still stands. It's not like this was something Mike HAD to give up, because that conversation between him and Will instilled that they would support each other and what makes them feel crazy.

I think the issue though, is that what's causing Mike so much grief daily for almost a year now, is the guilt that came with El's death and him feeling responsible. And so, in contrast to Will's slightly more justified assumptions that what he's seeing could actually be real based on what's happened to him, it's like Mike is asking himself whether he's actually seeing El because she's still alive OR is he just imagining she's still alive because he wants to forgive himself?

A kid deducing that in their head would make them feel pretty awful, don't you think? Maybe even lead them to calling out to that person for almost a year in hopes that they might still be alive?

Meaning Mike choosing that night to walk away, to give up, is likely a result of his conversation with Will making him feel more comfortable with finally letting go of some of that guilt in order to actually start the process of moving on. Because a big part of why he didn't want to move on was because of guilt in the first place.

Also confiding in Will and only Will, not the others, who were hell bent on interpreting all of Mike's feelings for El as romantic, was maybe Mike's way of avoiding the pressure to associate his whole relationship with El as strictly romantic. With Will, maybe Mike knew he wasn't going to spin it into something like that. And he would’ve been right, because Will didn't.

October 30th, Halloween Night (Day 353 - Last call)

You cannot tell me that day 353 isn't framed as the last call. Like Mike is literally walking away dramatically, leaving El alone, with her now just a tiny dot surrounded by darkness. The way it's framed leaves the viewer genuinely feeling heartbroken because there's some very evident finality to what is being presented. And we even see that El feels it too, hence the episode cutting off dramatically with her tear filled eyes.

And so why did Mike choose THIS moment to give up? Why did he choose now to put his 353 day streak to rest? Like, that was impressive as hell. He could have easily kept that going, but instead he decided that this was going to be the last time he was going to try calling out to her...

November 1st (Day 354)

El is still pretty bummed that Hopper came home late last night, but I'm guessing she's even more bummed still processing what might have very well been Mike finally giving up that night too.

Although I don't think El would blame Mike for giving up, still, she too throughout all of this had been building up hope herself. El's been clinging onto the bond she made with Mike, specifically the romantic moments, to the point where she has been watching shows with romantic themes, putting herself in the position of the love interest.

So him not giving up, to El, has been a signal that what they are feeling between each other is very deep and... romantic. Him keeping this going this long is a sign to her that these feelings are pretty much guaranteed. And if he doesn't continue, that hope would obviously dwindle.

At breakfast that morning, Hopper acknowledges the TV cord peaking out of El's room, which is the device she uses to visit Mike from the void, all the way from the cabin. Without it, she is not able to 'communicate' with him, let alone see if he actually didn't give up after that night she feared he did...

Unfortunately her and Hopper have an argument after this, leading to her storming off to her room. And after Hopper is gone, El finds herself being so impatient to see Mike after almost a year of waiting, that she decides to take fate into her own hands. She isn't willing to wait until the evening, which is roughly speaking the usual time Mike uses the walkie to call her every night. She needs to see him now.

And lucky(?) for her, she does!

Finally! A SIGN! After almost a year of no signs that El is alive, since the night she went missing, Mike is getting a sign El is alive!

And he runs after it! He goes to check to confirm his (valid) suspicions, only for her to not be there, with Mike looking disappointed, but also kind of like he's accepted it's a lost cause at this point.

Mike's hope that El is alive and okay and the relief that would come with finally letting go of this massive weight of guilt, is not within reach. He just needs to accept it and let it go. He needs to forgive himself and move on.

On top of all of this, Will is experiencing his own version of crazy. And Mike seems more concerned with focusing on this and supporting Will, than holding onto this hope that El is alive.

So even though Mike just got a sign that El is alive (which parallels to the initial evidence of her being alive outside his house, what literally initiated him to call out to her for almost a year), he doesn't revert back to his approach of not giving up. He sticks by his decision.

The irony of what happens with El the same night that Mike doesn't call, for the first time, is not lost on me...

Tragically, El doesn't know Mike actually gave up (just like she feared he did) because she lost her ability to communicate with him that night.

I wonder how differently things would have played out if she new the truth. Would she have held onto this really romanticized idea of her and Mike's relationship because he never gave up? Or would she have maybe reassured Mike that it was okay that he gave up and moved past it and still hoped and tried to make it work? Honestly, I think the later.

Because again, it's not Mike giving up that makes him a bad person or something that refutes his ability to love her romantically, it just means that it's not true that he never gave up.

And Mike being the only person to know this fact... Um... Cannot be good for him.

October 2nd (Day 355)

As El is trying to revive a modicum of hope that she can see Mike again through the void, to confirm her hopes that he didn't give up, by using the TV like she usually does, she discovers that the cord is broken. It's a lost cause.

On the other side of town, Mike is entirely focused on Will. The previous night, he did not reach out to El. He gave up. And El is none the wiser.

The writers made the choice to have one more night that Mike could have called El because he was at home that night on day 354, a day that actually involved an incident that you'd think would have reignited his hope that she was alive, before he inevitably jumped head first into focusing on Will, with him not being home for the rest of the season. They could have shown us Mike calling out to El from the other side of town, and then cut to her in her room not knowing... And yet, they didn't...

This is where I jump to the end, because the focus primarily when it comes to El and Mike's arcs for the rest of the season are with El trying to find her mom and discover more about herself, while Mike is trying to be there for Will in any way he can.

The sad part is that despite Mike giving up and trying to move on from El's death, that guilt is never really going to go away. He gave El expectations that she had to risk her life to find Will, and all of that built up and inadvertently led to her death.

But maybe Mike can right the wrongs he had El endure by following through on his focus of not letting Will die too? Maybe if Mike can save Will, El wouldn't have died for nothing?

But with this guilt and Mike trying to overcorrect it all, he's also experiencing very real and emotional moments with Will. Will is his best friend, and just a year ago Mike risked everything to get him back. A lot of those moments he experienced with El in s1, moments mixed with romantic expectations, are now also lingering here with him and his friend in s2. Except these aren't forced expectations. Everything Mike’s feeling and doing the entire time comes naturally to him, with none of it requiring pushing or advice from those around him. It's just pure instinct.

In the end, Mike's beside Joyce and Jonathan, who are sharing memories they have with Will to him in hopes it will prove to them he's still in there and able to be saved.

This emotional sequence builds up to Mike using his own memory of Will to try to reach him, one that comes off as platonic in every sense of the word, but visually, and when looked at in the grand scheme of things, especially with what is about to follow and those romantic expectations with El soon being thrust back on him... Well... Shit is about to get real messy.

Upon reuniting with El, Mike was quick to want to tell her that he never gave up, only for her to interrupt him with the exact number of days he called (before he gave up).

This is news to Mike for an abundance of reasons. It means he's not crazy and that El actually was alive those two times he saw her. All this (survivors) guilt that's been building up over the last year could have been avoided if he'd known that she didn't die, that she was okay.

It also means that for some reason, El heard him, and yet she doesn't know that he gave up...

And here Hopper is, revealing that he's been hiding her the whole time aka the perfect person for Mike to take all of this pent-up emotion out on.

Hopper then tells Mike that they will discuss this privately, which I find to be very interesting because it offers a chance for the viewer to see just a glimpse into Mike's emotional state at this moment, without everyone around to affect his ability to truly open up about how he's feeling. And not alone just anywhere in the house, but in Will's room...

Mike is understandably upset because El is alive and Hopper knew this whole time and didn't tell him.

While Hopper didn't technically lie to Mike, at least not in canon because we never got an outright scene on-screen of Mike asking Hopper if El was alive with him denying it (all while knowing she was), it's at the very least a lie of omission...

But the thing is, if Hopper not clueing Mike in on El being alive qualifies as a lie of omission (off-screen), so does Mike not telling El he gave up (on-screen).

If anything Mike's lie of omission also qualifies as a plain old lie, because he outright told El he didn't give up (lied) and didn't correct her when she informed him she knew he didn't. She fully believed it, despite him knowing deep down that it wasn't the full truth.

So while Mike is taking all of his anger out on Hopper as this fighting match comes to a head, it takes a turn.

Hopper is fine with Mike blaming him, he says it's 'okay'. But it's not. Nothing about this is okay to Mike, seeing as this isn't even the whole problem. It's not the problem Mike's actually hiding within his outburst in the first place.

Suddenly Mike starts screaming to Hopper that he's a 'disgusting, lying, piece of shit', chanting LIAR over and over and over again, shoving him repeatedly, only for him to fall into Hopper's arms and start crying, with Hopper reassuring him that he's okay.

Something tells me Mike's emotions here aren't all about Hopper...

Something tells me that Mike's fixation with the word liar doesn't apply to Hopper here as much as it applies to Mike himself (in his eyes)...

The main reason why I think this is what's actually going on here, is because there was no reason to put so much emphasize on this concept of Mike literally walking away that last time he called her.

Why go through the trouble of creating this misunderstanding, by having the TV not work, with El not being able to go into the void to see Mike, THE very night he gave up, if to not plant the seed that this misunderstanding was going to bear some significance? That this misunderstanding (lie? lie of omission?) was going to lead to El assuming Mike didn't give up, all while Mike knows he gave up, but going along with the story that he didn't, for both El's sake and his own?

BECAUSE it's a surprise tool that will help us later!

I also think it's interesting that they decided to have Will go off and dance with a girl at the snowball BEFORE Mike decided to devote himself to El here on out. Like... that is quite the choice after a season of highlighting this bond between Will and Mike where they promise to go crazy together, which is a moment we know Will took romantically.... So, is it possible Mike also took it romantically? We know Will also took Mike's speech to him in the shed romantically, so is it possible Mike did too, with that experience only heightening his emotions and confusion over his feelings for El when he found out she was alive shortly after, leading to his outburst? But then Will is going and dancing with the girl, and here we have Mike's own version of falling behind (the Time After Time lyrics were more literal than you think).

What if they didn't do all of that? Would things have maybe panned out slightly differently if Mike wasn't under the (incorrect) assumption that Will didn't take those moments romantically?

While Mike's guilt might have started in s1, when he played the biggest role in pushing expectations onto El to help them find Will, only for her to 'die', it doesn't end there. Mike's guilt only builds when he holds the knowledge that he did give up hoping she could be alive, all while allowing El to believe the opposite based on what she saw, which was a guiding force for not only her love and dedication to him flourishing, but also for him to then shift his own version of expectations onto himself going forward to make it up to El by trying to be who she wants him to be.

We see how romanticized 353 days is interpreted exclusively as meaning Mike has to be in love with El. But he did give up. So what does that mean for all of this? For their picture perfect love story?

What does it mean for Mike to hold onto this truth, a truth that makes him feel immense guilt, only for him to spend the next year or so making it up to her...?

It means either Mike has to come clean, or he has to deflect and double down.

What option do you think a guilt-ridden, repressed homosexual kid in the 80's is going to choose?

Answer? Deflect and double down.

In s3, Mike is so focused on worrying about El (giving her what he thinks she wants) so he can right all the building up of wrongs he has done at her expense since he met her, and as a result loses Will in the process (where have we heard this before...?)

Instead of Mike having a moment in s3 where he acknowledges that he himself was the first to ever refer to El as a weapon in the first place, to try to save Will in s1, he's now turning around and blaming the others for using El as a weapon 'for no reason'...

No reason? Really Mike? Is it for no reason, or is it just not a good enough reason to you this time?

Or maybe has Mike just actually spent enough time with El now to truly feel a bond with her in order to see her as a full person, slightly outside of this imaginary superhero he's cooked her up to be when he met her that day in the woods, the day his life started because she was his first and only hope of finding Will? (I say slightly bc... I mean we all saw what happened in s4?)

I honestly think it's a mix of both...

I also think it's not a coincidence that Mike doubling down instead of facing the truth about this manifestation of guilt only makes things worse for him. And El. And Will.

Because suddenly he's choosing this moment to blurt out that he loves and can't lose her again, in front of everyone, even to his own dismay and shock. And when El walks in and gives him a chance to say it to her himself, like any person whose in love with someone would want to do, to make them feel loved, he looks terrified.

And when the season ends and Mike is given another chance to say it finally, to El directly, in roughly the exact same spot he had his emotional outburst in the previous season over finding out she was alive at the same time he was still grappling with losing Will again, IN WILL'S ROOM, he freezes. He just lets what happens, happen.

Because after everything, with El right now in front of him, telling him she loves him while being fully convinced he loves her too after everything they've went through, how could he possibly take it back, or try to make her understand his complicated feelings about all of this?

Answer? He can't.

As hard as it is to believe (not that hard honestly based on his track record), Mike's deflection and stalling era is just beginning...

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #st analysis #it's just a tragic bizarre love triangle ok it's doing it's job #anyways #mike is a repressed coward #but also a guilt ridden child #both can be true at once #doesn't make him a bad person #just makes him a human with poor choices #and when you make some of the choices he's made and refuse to confront them for what they are #and choose to keep doubling down and stalling instead of facing that truth #the truth will eventually come to bite you in the ass #especially when there is a bad guy that feeds off guilt.. #like i'm sorry mike but you're toast #he can try to deny it all he wants (granted he doesn't have much time at this rate...) #he can try to be the perfect boyfriend he thinks el deserves #he can try to convince himself that writing to el is his way of being devoted to her in the way that a boyfriend is supposed to be #and simultaneously not write to will bc that's romantic and that's a gesture reserved for el ('ThAtS bEcAuSe ShE's My GiRlFrIeNd WiLl!') #and compensate in his own mind by calling will a bunch #hoping his friend will answer so that he can convince himself they're still platonic and do this all the way he's supposed to #but dude... #why didn't you tell will you called?... #why didn't you tell el you stopped calling?... #i think i have an idea...

[likeshipsonthesea]

If you're still doing prompts can I ask for 54 and 98 for either Nurseydex or whiskeynurseydex

i am still doing prompts! however, this is the last one for the mash-ups, and I have a bunch of the “straight to the good part” prompts i need to fill, and i have tons of hw to get done and a midterm to study for, so no more prompts for a bit. but thanks to you, and to everyone else, who sent them in. they made me very happy :)

for the au mash-up prompts, 54. Secret Relationship and 98. Curses. for nurseydex bc while i love that someone wants me to write something other than nurseydex, i suck at poly. so here we go!

let’s set the scene; on a warm spring day in late april, a christening was held.

this christening was not your average christening. there was no priest, no water, no religious symbolism as far as the eye could see. the pews (because it was held in a church, but only for size reasons) were not filled with daintily dressed grandmothers and bored nephews tugging at their too-tight ties. no these pews were filled with an arrangement of gorgeous goblins with glittering fingers full of jewels, djins bearing gifts of gold and sirens come out of the water to get a glimpse of the breathtaking nurse child recently borne unto the lovely trio of parents

(nursey’s mother (bio) descends from a long line of magic-adjacents, fortune tellers and psychics and the like. she particularly has charged dreams, one of which predicted the birth of her son, derek, the day before she met the father. nursey’s father (bio, and aro, so platonically in love with his mother) is just really really charming, like there was probably a veela way back in his family line, so now his powers manifest in closing business deals and making people swoon. nursey’s mama (non-bio, but wife of his mother) is a witch, plain and simple, and all the women in her family tracing back to ancient times were witches, too.)

so on the day of this christening, the reason for this christening, was for all the various magical relatives and friends to come and wish good fortune upon this trifecta of a magic child.

there was only one problem.

“he was born on valentine’s day?” nursey’s mama’s mother yells, in a private room within the church, exactly seven minutes before the event will begin.

nursey’s mama winces. “this is why we didn’t want to tell you.” nursey’s mother and father stand just behind her, supportive, but cowering slightly under the ire of such a great witch.

nursey’s grandmama then begins speaking rapid (angry) spanish, many of which are curses (which, incidentally, are some of the few words nursey’s mother and father recognize) and nursey’s mama tries to placate her to no avail.

the reason for this, you see, is because being born on the day of love is a curse unlike no other. centuries and centuries ago there was an etiquette established that magic would not interfere in the ways of love (that, and death, but that’s a story for another time) because love was too sacred. platonic, romantic, familial love, all of it, was a bond stronger than even the most powerful of dark magicks, and it was forbidden to be tampered with.

then the whole valentine fiasco happened and a curse was placed upon the day that all magickal babies born unto it would be cursed with a strife-torn love life.

“how could you let this happen?” nursey’s grandmama finally yells, ending her tirade.

the three parents exchange a look. mama turns back to her mother and winces. “we forgot?”

though all of nursey’s parents are magic in their own way, and believe to an extent the lore of their peoples, the valentine’s day curse seemed like one of those tales magickal parents tell their kids to entertain them at bedtime. what kind of magic would a day full of gross chocolates and plastic presents really hold? valentine’s day was a joke.

but in the afterwards, with their darling son derek asleep in his (secretly runed) hospital crib, they all remembered the date and winced simultaneously at the thought of telling their families. mom’s family took it okay– they had always lived on the fringes of magic, and therefore only took to it partially– and dad’s family is so far away from the truly magickal aspect of their heritage that they merely shrugged it off. they knew mama’s family would not react the same.

and so the christening was held, still, and the gifts were bestowed, but mama’s family– her strong and sturdy mother, the short but fierce grandmother, and the wrinkled and curled great-grandmother with no teeth and a magickal slap that would still knock you out– gave gifts that were pointed.

“you shall find solace in the magickal world,” nursey’s grandmother said, rubbing her thumb to his forehead. “we will love you like no one else.”

“you will have an unparalleled empathy,” his great-grandmother whispers, tickling his toes. “you will love like no other.”

and his great-great-grandmother, weathered and wizened and full of an untapped power, smiles her gummy grin at him and tells him, “despite it all, you will be loved. you will have one great love, my boy, and you will have the fight to keep it. i promise you this.”

and so it was true.

*~*~*

flash-forward to twenty years later.

“fuck off, poindexter,” nursey says, grinning, as he lightly hip-checks dex into the boards. dex rolls his eyes beneath him helmet, but nursey can see the smile tugging at his lips.

“stop fooling around, you two!” bitty yells, from across the ice. “we have a frozen four to prepare for!”

the d-pair exchanges a grin and sets off.

it’s nearing the end of their junior year. it’s been–eventful. living together at that stage did not work (nursey reeling from the loss of hockey, dex recovering from the aftermath of The Kiss, neither of them particularly ready to accommodate another person’s trauma with their own) and dex moving out felt like an ending neither of them wanted but neither of them knew how to fix–or could fix, for a while

and they worked for it– worked for this– when they got back from break. hockey was a good starting point–despite the rest of it, they always worked well on the ice. from there, they learned a language they would tolerate, one without sounds and without the capacity for anger. they worked out together, silent, pushing one another without directly doing so. they would perform their chores without a word, working together, clinical and efficient.

they began to find a rhythm, and with that, their words. dex explained in starts and stops how quiet it got back home after they all knew his captains were in love (and how he was okay with it, probably too okay, will couldn’t be– he wasn’t– right?) and nursey gestured nervously as he explained how hockey had been the one thing he could always come back to, even when the words weren’t coming out right, and how strained his parents had become since mama had flown back to chile to deal with the death of her great-grandmother, leaving mom and dad without their third part

and things got–better, slowly. and they can chirp without malice and kill it on the ice and smile at each other over team breakfast and it’s– it’s good. finally.

“fuck that’s good,” nursey groans, throwing his head back against the wall of dex’s basement hideaway so he doesn’t focus too heavily on the orange head bobbing below because he knows he would come too quickly, then.

okay, maybe it’s more than just “good”

maybe after a few roadies sharing a room, after some late-night tipsy conversations in the reading room, maybe after a stumble-step kiss and too little reservations, they fell into bed together and fit and some other things fell into place, too. whatever. it’s good. it’s–chill.

and in the afterward, after they’ve both gotten off and cuddled for as long as they dare and nursey creaks his way back up to his lonely room, if nursey wishes that they didn’t have to hide, it’s whatever. they both agreed to this. it’s still the best way to handle the tentativeness of this thing between them

not that they don’t love or trust their friends or whatever, it’s just it took them so long to get here to get to a place where they can talk, or at least communicate in their way, when things get hard. they’ve carved out a space for themselves and if anyone else touches it or sees it or–god forbid– judges it, well. they don’t know if they can keep it stable when the world outside tries to shake it.

but then it happens– then the final four comes and they make it, they make it to the last game and it’s gone into overtime and they all want it so badly, for themselves for bitty and then nursey sees the opening and sends it to whiskey who shoots down the ice towards the opposing goal and bits is right there, ready, and nursey can see it happening like a premonition

(sidenote: it actually is a premonition. nursey’s powers manifest in clumsy charm and slightly precognitive powers. it’s great in bed bc he experiences orgasms twice, but we’re not talking about that now)

and bitty tucks it in right behind the goalie’s leg and the buzzer screams and they all shoot into one another in this giant hug of energy and bliss and camaraderie

(and even if nursey didn’t have dex, even if they hadn’t worked it out, he would still have this, still have this unending unquestionable love for his teammates, reciprocated and stronger than any curse could hope to be)

and then nursey sees dex, helmet gone and smile wide, and he pulls nursey in to this tight tight hug and nursey can’t help it. he says it. says, “i love you,” right in dex’s ear, loud enough over the roar of the win, and dex pulls back, smile now down turned but wide, disbelieving, his eyes shining with– fuck.

“i love you too,” dex says, but nursey can only read his lips, and he wants to hear the words, he wants to hear the proof, but that comes later, after the locker room and the parties and the euphoria dies down.

quiet in dex’s basement bed, lying together, mussed and elated;

“you sure?” nursey asks into dex’s chest, not even quite sure if dex is awake or he said it loud enough to hear, or if he wanted dex to hear.

“yes,” dex says, sleepy but resolute. “i love you.”

nursey smiles, and falls asleep with the smile on his face.

*~*~*

that’s all well and good and all, but then they have to deal with The Families. dex’s takes it surprisingly– neutral. they accept nursey and are kind to him, but they stumble over things like room arrangements and call nursey dex’s “friend” enough times to prick at dex’s skin, but they try. “that’s all i can really ask for, you know?” dex says, on an abandoned beach later, just the two of them and the waves, and nursey hears the ‘i wish i could ask for more, i wish they could be better’ but instead of responding to that, he just hugs him close. it’s the answer dex needed, anyway.

the harder part is nursey’s family. they’ve always been hesitant about him dating anyone– they were suspicious of shitty for the longest time but finally realized that he was straighter than straight could be and let their suspicions go– and nursey knows about the curse of his birthday (how couldn’t he, with all the family birthday parties full of sad shakes of heads and pitying looks) but, like his parents, tried to believe it wasn’t true

(and maybe, one day, he’ll see the truth of it, but right now he’s too happy to speculate on things that have gone by)

mama, back now from her hometown, squints at dex all through dinner. she is the most magic of them all, and is attempting to use said magic to read dex for his intentions.

dex chews awkwardly and hopes that he isn’t upsetting any rich people customs he doesn’t know about. nursey, along with his mom and dad, attempt to derail the staring to no avail.

after dinner, after dessert and dex offering to help clean and thoroughly charming nursey’s father, and talking about nerdy science things with nursey’s mom and making her laugh, nursey is pleasantly full of food and love and then is instantly ripped from this feeling by his mama, who pulls him into the hall and hisses, “he’s magic.”

“what? dex isn’t magic.”

mama’s eyes are wider than nursey has ever seen them. he’s appropriately scared. “yes he is,” she insists. “i can smell it on him.”

“what? mama, stop smelling my boyfriend.”

but mama doesn’t let it go, not that night or after college, when he and dex move into an apartment in nyc together, or even later, when dex proposes one sleepy morning in bed and nursey cries and they have great sleepy-sex to the sound of their next door neighbor’s complaintive wall-pounding

the wedding is, unfortunately, a large affair. there are more poindexters than any tree could hold and “if we don’t invite ever last magickal acquaintance we’ll upset the whole community, derek” (said by his mom over a table full of potential invitees who all end up receiving save the dates)

and the wedding is, of course, beautiful, despite all of the craziness, the cake is divine (”i can’t believe that boy doesn’t have any magic,” mama says, shaking her head as she has her third piece of cake) and view (on a beach in maine, less travel for the poorer attendees) is gorgeous, even if dex kind of secretly wanted a winter wedding instead of a summer one (”we’ll go somewhere cold for the honeymoon,” nursey assured him, eyes twinkling, “we’ll be staying inside for the most part, anyway”) and all the magickal guests (glimmered to hide their more, um, unique aspects) enjoy it immensely.

but then nursey’s great grandmother and dex’s great grandmother find each other. the commotion draws the attention of everyone in the wedding party and dex and nursey approach, cautious, wondering if it’s the gay thing or something worse, only to find the two old women embracing and laughing.

“wut.” everyone, literally everyone, says, watching the interaction.

turns out, dex comes from a family with a decent amount of selkie blood in it. he can’t personally become a seal or anything (”what the fuck,” he says, staring at his little grandmother’s wrinkled, leathery, seal body) but he’s better in the water than most and can hold his breath for a really long time (”oh” nursey exclaims, after this is revealed, “that’s why you’re so good at eat-” dex manages to clap a hand over his mouth just in time.)

and since dex’s great grandmother is a selkie, she has relatives that are more involved in the magickal community than she is, and when she was a little girl, got dragged all around the world to christenings and birthdays and what have you.

and who was her childhood companion, the one who entertained her at all of these boring events? yup, you guessed it, nursey’s great grandmother.

“well, this has been a weird day,” dex says, later that night, in the hotel room they got nearby. “you’re magic, i’m magic, and our great-grandmothers were besties.”

“did you just say besties?”

“it’s been a weird day let me have this.”

and despite all the weirdness, they really do have a nice life together. nursey’s great grandmother was right–it’s a constant battle, but what love isn’t? it’s not a draining battle, it makes nursey better, constantly pushes him to be the best version of himself he can be, and the result–being with dex in all the little moments and the big– is so worth all the energy expended in the process.

and maybe it’s the curse. maybe the curse made them this way, but maybe it didn’t. maybe it’s just what they both needed, maybe dex would have been it for him no matter what day he was born. nursey likes to think so, anyway. curses and secrets and whatever– how could there ever be a world where he and dex didn’t end up here?

forget magic, that’s what’s really unbelievable.

#nurseydex #dexnursey #check please #nursey #derek nurse #dex #william poindexter #my writing #sort of fic #ficlet #i'm tagging this ficlet #because damn it basically is #i love this #i really love this #please read it! #i promise you'll enjoy it :)))