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signalwatch · 1 year

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Super Watch: Superman - The Movie (1978 - theatrical cut)

Watched: 01/06/2023

Format: HBOmax

Viewing: 1,000,000th

Director: Richard Donner

Superman: The Movie (1978) is the movie I've seen most of any film, enough so that I have it pretty well memorized. At this point, I'd hesitate to say how many times I've seen the movie, but it's dozens and dozens of times. At least 7 in the theater. Intentionally, I haven't watched it much the past few years. I mean, I'm trying to watch new-to-me movies, I can replay any scene in my head any time, I know the beats and jokes, and cool elements and emotions in every scene. But I also know the plot holes, the mistakes, the dated issues with the film, where that's-a-doll, that's-how-that-shot-was-done, etc... I even look for where extras were at a difference walking pace in various shots.

What's probably most notable to modern film audiences is that a movie that plays it mostly straight for an hour has a hard jump in the second half to a far wackier vision of the world it establishes, moving from sci-fi epic to American Rockwell-esque pastoral to a cosmic sci-fi fantasy. And then... Metropolis, with hustling big-city folk, fast talking journalists, and Otis bumbling along. And for the next 90 minutes, the movie is a mix of romance, screwball, camp and heroism. There's something oddly Broadway-ish about that back 90 minutes - I mean, doesn't Miss Tessmacher seem like she needs an "I Want" song? Because Lois gets one in spoken-word.

And god help us, almost everyone is doing a bit, from Perry White to the crook in the alley to the cops in the station talking about "big red boots". We are not done yet with superheroes needing an absurd world around them for an audience to digest them, even after we just spent an hour with tragedy and heartbreak on planetary and personal scales.

What that first hour accomplishes, though, is reminding us that Superman himself is not an absurdity. He's the child of unspeakable tragedy, a product of America's heartland and humanity's most sincere beliefs of fair play and decency, but he is also an orphan in search of an identity. And with the identity resolved, when he joins humanity in the guise of Clark Kent, he's fitting in while also being the space-god with laser eyes and a knowledge of the human heart and the 28 known galaxies. He's not just some fop in a funny suit.

But I'd also point out - Marvel has always known they need to wink a bit where DC has struggled with the idea since Snyder took over, and even Birds of Prey with Harley at the center doesn't quite get how to make this funny. YMMV on Gunn's take, but he may have the best notion of how to balance comedy and tragedy, realism vs absurdism (or, at least, one with internal logic).

I don't think any of this makes Superman: The Movie a failure or less-than, but I do get how it will make the film harder for newer audiences to access the movie. Why is everyone acting weird, like an old-timey movie? Cinema verite this ain't. For a movie that shouts at the audience "this ain't your 1950's Superman, this is a modern Superman" with it's opening salvo, it's terribly dated to its period of release with fashion alone, and FX 15 years before a dinosaur would amble across a screen.

And, of course, it fails the nerd test of repeated viewings. There's clearly stuff in the film that just doesn't make sense, like Lex telling Superman "You were great in your day, Superman. But it just stands to reason, when it came time to cash in your chips, this old… diseased… maniac would be your banker." Well... no. Superman has never met Lex, and he just showed up. This is the speech a legacy villain gives Superman. Superman's day is just now happening. What draft of the script did this come from?

But these were things we didn't notice as much in ye olde days of only seeing movies in the theater. And certainly echoes the assumption that between radio and TV series, 40 years of comics, and overall pop culture saturation, Superman was already a known commodity, a pre-existing IP that would automatically fill in gaps for the audience even when things make no sense (why on earth would Lex think Kryptonite would be radioactive to Superman?).

That's comic book stuff, and I'm not shocked it's given little attention - because what director Richard Donner cares about is the human side to Superman, the one that he devotes a whole sky-dance sequence to. I'll be honest - I'm beyond judging the film for containing this sequence, but it is... weird. It's not 1000% necessary to move the story forward, and I've spent a couple of decades now watching older movies to figure out if Donner took inspiration from somewhere for this sequence, but nothing has ever really presented itself. From a story-telling logic, I 100% get it. Lois needs to experience the wonder of Superman up close, feel she can trust him, understand he'll be there to protect her if she slips... But. Man. For a 2-minute bit in a long, long film, it feels like the longest two minutes to a lot of folks.

I can talk about the stuff I like about this film all day, and have. To anyone who would listen. For decades. So don't think I've turned on it. But I also have the relationship with the movie you only have with a movie you've seen so many times, you've known the names of the two cops who pursue Otis. But I don't think it hurts to be honest about the movie. I may love it and I'll defend it, but if you watch a movie this many times and you don't notice the rough spots, are you really loving something?

Anyway, it was great to revisit for the first time in a while. Especially post Superheroes Everyday's journey through the film.

We'll rewatch eventually and say all the nice things you've come to expect, but this is not that post. We'll do one on John Ratzenberger's characters in Superman 1 and 2 and try to figure out if this more than one character or a set of hard-luck twins.

https://ift.tt/3rDaiKm

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/S4UpyxE

#superman #superman movies

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the-cookie-of-doom · 3 years

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Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions.

Penny Dreadful

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite. I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite.

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read:

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least.

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie.

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.)

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore.

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.)

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find!

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines.

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history.

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing.

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him.

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby.

Misc.

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him)

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man)

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.)

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time)

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.)

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that.

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans.

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now!

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clarenecessities · 3 years

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4/15/21

most days i can tamp down on the combined instincts of my alphabet soup brain, but today was like.... not that day

i had a small epiphany yesterday about eternia/etheria in that the ether is “space” and eternity is obviously time, so they’re like. you see? they’re spacetime. but spacetime is merely the stage upon which physics dance so i went on a very light retread of relativity, briefly detoured into time dilation/the planet of the apes movies, and in the process brushed up against apeiron

i’ve come across it before but had never investigated its origins, but it seemed like, you know, a cool word, and i’ve been doing a lot of research to pick an overarching name for the feline humanoids in my she-ra graph, right, because D’riluth iii is a stupid fucking name and I don’t want catra to be a subspecies of “““Driluthian”““ so i was like hey. is there a way to make this look less like ‘ape’

so it turns out kind of yes and no? the doric version of apeiros is transliterated as epeiros, which is also the spelling of ‘mainland’ (whence Epirus). of course, that led to epeirid, an adjectival form of Epeira.

“well, okay,” i said to myself, “is it like infinite, or like mainland? what does either have to do with spiders?” but of course wiktionary had no etymology listed. rather than using my brain and googling “epeira etymology” which would have taken me directly to the merriam-webster (heh. web) definition, i just googled epeira and found the fucking uh. wikipedia article for Araneus, because Epeira was the genus name for all of ten years. and like, okay. in my defense. the root they’ve listed is wrong. we’ll come back to that later.

so this french bitch had written a treatise on them in 1805, right? describing the members of the genus? so i was like fine. fuck it. whatever. maybe he explained why he picked it. so i looked up the fucking Tableau des aranéides ou caractères essentiels des tribus, genres, familles et races que renferme le genre Aranea de Linné, avec la désignation des espèces comprises dans chacune de ces divisions. because if the french know one thing, it’s brevity.

“it’s fine,” i said, “i’ll just ctrl+f Epeira and get to the good shit,” i said. of course the only version online was on a spider website that you needed an account for. i was like you know what? fine. whatever. i made an account for the spider website. i gained access to the pdf of the 1805 french spider report. the 1805 spider report did not have searchable text.

this was around the point that i realized i was being deranged.

i read the fucking spider report. could have skimmed it! should have, probably! but i was so convinced i was going to skip over the explanation that i read the whole damn intro, right up until he starts describing the little bastards. considering my french is kindergarten level i owe most of it to the cognate power of science words. thank you, historical nerds, for being weaboos for greco-roman shit. you nailed it this time.

about 50 pages into the old timey spider pamphlet, i found a spelling en francaise. épéire. okay, sweet. googled that. it’s a modern french word, with one fewer accent, épeire--garden spider. etymologie just called back to Epeira. i returned to the spamphlet. i found another spelling, épéïre. this one yielded the french wikipedia article for Epeira.

“okay, fine,” i said, “fuck it, i’m 60 pages into a fucking spider report from 1805, i can read wikipedia.“

eureka. french wikipedia yielded the answer to my prayers. ἐπί (epí, “upon, on”) + εἴρω (eírō, “weave, string”). i updated wiktionary immediately, after a brief but ferocious battle to understand how the fuck their coding works.

my dudes, the euphoria was off the charts. never have i felt so accomplished. i hunted that motherfucker down like a dog. i dispersed this information to the masses, to save some hapless future nerd the trouble. i am never going to die.

oh also merriam-webster has it listed as “New Latin, from epi- + -eira (from Greek eirein to fasten in rows, string together)“ but like not only does it neglect to show greek letters, it’s not from eira. eirein isn’t even a god damn word! i can only assume they mean εἰρήνη (eirḗnē), because it means ‘to tie together’ literally, but in practice it means peace! and it’s still derived from eírō, not the other way around! i don’t even know where the -a comes from, unless they’re suggesting it’s in the fucking aorist. this is why it’s important to include the greek spelling. transliteration is fucking dumb.

i digress. the point is, sometimes being a nerd is a gateway to insane levels of dopamine, and i’m drunk on etymology

#daily clare #long posts #clare does research sometimes #oh also i got my vaccine today #huzzah

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mindctrlaltdel · 3 years

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Random Reviews: Mulholland Drive

This movie is BASIC INSTINCT, written and directed by Salvador Dali.

***

Recently, I watched MULHOLLAND DRIVE for the first time for my friend Shawn Eastridge's podcast, MISSING FRAMES (www.thenerdparty.com/missingframes/episode-103-mulholland-drive).

As I watched this odd, funny, disturbing, interesting flick, I took the following notes. Is it, as some critics say, the BEST FILM OF THE 21ST CENTURY? Here's an inside look at my viewing experience as I mulled over MULHOLLAND DRIVE...

[PRESS PLAY]

I love how the first five minutes is basically a bad late 90's Gap commercial, all swing dancing, no point...

The Mulholland Drive sign is calling to us. The street, Mulholland Drive, is Bali Hai for perverts.

Justin Theroux gets top billing over Naomi Watts??

I gotta admit, I saw one of the movie's original posters and thought "Naomi Watts AND the lady from the first MEN IN BLACK is in this? It's the triumphant return of Linda Fiorentino." When I DIDN'T see her name in the opening credits, I was disappointed. She's NO Linda Fiorentino... for this role, she's even better. AND she's a countess (seriously, look it up). Oh, and Robert Forster shows up for 10 minutes.

Not-Linda Fiorentino has some hustle in her for someone who just survived a horrible head on collision.

I like how the street signs kind of tell us where we are and what kind of world we're in. It's like a surreal, dramatic version of that Californians SNL sketch.

You mean to tell me that the red-headed older woman didn't see not-Linda Fiorentino under her kitchen table? UnbeLIEVable.

Holy crap, the wide-eyed guy in Winky's - he plays Jimmy Barrett, the comedian in MAD MEN... and MAD MEN is an interesting connection here, because everyone talks in this measured, paced deliberate way throughout that series, kind of similar to how the characters usually speak in the David Lynch productions I've seen... When I started watching MAD MEN, I thought the actors were purposely directed to speak that way, so everything to seem more "real" as opposed to that fast-talking, old-Hollywood style that you'd expect to see from outspoken, big idea-types. I imagined that Matt Weiner wanted people to seem - at least to modern audiences - the way people actually were - particularly, the inhabitants of the intelligent and cerebral world of ad men, working behind the scenes, on the fringes of show business. But then Jimmy Barrett, an old-timey comedian ALSO spoke that way. And it just didn't seem authentic to me. Anyway, back to THIS movie...

OH and that dingy woman behind the dumpster! She's like if Captain Howdy moved out West and got all LA on us. Is that Cloris Leachman covered in mud? And the music... for some reason, there's nothing scarier than the sound of an HVAC vent on full blast. (According to this article, www.vulture.com/2014/10/mulholland-drives-evil-hobo-breaks-her-silencio.html,the actress who played Evil Hobo #1 said of her audition process: "I don’t mean to brag, but David Lynch said he was looking for the most incredible face he could find. I actually met him at a Twin Peaks party, and he was like, 'Look at that face!'")

I love the X-Files-style synth strings that play over Naomi Watts (Betty) and gram-gram (Irene) as they walk through the hotel, I mean the airport... Aw, these two old people love Betty. What a different life she's living than that countess who's not Linda Fiorentino who's squatting in that redhead's apartment that Betty's about to move into.

Even then, Naomi had a good American accent. (Although I learned she's technically British but split her time between England and Australia), those Australians are great at spitting out neutral American sounds. But once I learned that Betty is supposed to be Canadian, I was very disappointed. It's not THAT authentic. Where are her "Aboots"? And she didn't put maple syrup on anything in this whole movie.

Oh my God, are Irene and her husband, riding in this towncar, ALSO going to get held up, like not-Linda Fiorentino at the beginning of the movie? Oh okay, they're not. We just followed them for no reason other than to see that they look happier than an old couple in a Cialis commercial. I guess meeting Betty really improved their sex life or something.

Coco - of course she's a fading hollywood starlet... AHHH, Coco is played by Ann Miller - good for her. She's basically that kooky old landlady from SEINFELD, the one who worked with the Three Stooges that Kramer met when he went to LA. Look at all these connections!

"Prize-fighting kangaroo who shits all over the courtyard" - do you think Naomi Watts is going to come out and say, "as an Australian, I was actually offended by this line, but I was scared into silence by that power-hungry monster, David Lynch."

The countess - who now goes by "Rita" - does kind of look like Rita Hayworth. I like the connections to old Hollywood and to noirs and how it's all wrapped together. Rita Hayworth is also a redhead, like Betty's aunt. She's of Spanish descent as well... and the actress playing Rita in this movie is of Mexican descent... Connections, connections.

I love that this casting session is basically run by a deep state shadow organization with a weird waiter in a red blazer... This is how Disney cast WandaVision.

HAHAHAH "That is one of the finest espressos in the world sir!" - this is DEFINITELY how Disney casts their movies. And Justin Theroux is the only man with integrity in this room! Does anyone have any class in this town!? They don't even validate his parking.

This is my favorite movie about making movies since BOWFINGER. And I may not be lying. And somehow less weird than THE ARTIST.

Is everyone gonna start killing each other over Ed's famous black book? This is oddly funny.

"Something bit me bad!" This incredibly long fight scene between the blond guy and secretary... it reminds me of the Uma Thurman/Daryl Hannah trailer fight in KILL BILL VOL. 2 but with less snakes.

These closeups of lingering looks on Rita's cash-filled purse are great... She's pulling wads of cash out of that purse one at a time, like Leslie Nielsen pulling eggs out of that blond lady in AIRPLANE!

I want to know what direction David Lynch gave that braless woman who's following the blond assassin around. It's like she's doing an acting exercise... like you know, when you're told to fill the space... "walk around the room, and clear your head. And now you're walking really fast. And now you're slow. NOW, imagine what it would be like to walk with your nose as the furthest point in front of you. Lead with your nose..." And David Lynch did that and told the braless woman to lead with her chest.

Justin Theroux is basically Robert Downey Jr.'s character from BOWFINGER, except NOW, he's the protagonist.

Betty is loving Rita's amnesia a bit too much. If this were my life, Rita would be the most interesting thing to happen to me too. Hell, if I was from Ontario, getting off at LAX would rock my world.

When Justin Theroux enters his glass-walled home to find his wife with another man, well... Justin Theroux may never star in something like HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, but I can definitely picture him in YUPPIE WITH A GOLF CLUB.

That slinky theme song playing in Justin Theroux's/Laraine's house is a song that I actually listen to in my tiki, lounge playlist - to give you a hint of my music tastes. What I listen to for fun, Billy Ray Cyrus puts on to drown out his love-making.

By the way, BILLY RAY CYRUS!!! WHAT? Is this how Miley was conceived??? I think yes.

Pink paint in a jewelry box! This is much better than the usual throwing-all-his-belongings-out-a-second-story-apartment-window-scene that happens in every other movie.

I wouldn't be THAT excited if I learned MY name was Diane Selwin. BUT the sexxxual tension with the waitress Diane at the diner is palpable!

So, not-Linda Fiorentino has amnesia. How does she know that answering machine is NOT her voice!?

Justin Theroux/Adam Kesher's wife is very aggressive with the large man who's so dedicated to finding Adam Kesher that he keeps calling Adam's name in vain like the secretary in my doctor's office.

I watched this movie in pieces, the first half late at night. The second half the next morning. In between, while sleeping, I had a dream where Betty and Rita were looking over a map and any time one of their hands brushed over another, their hands would turn gold. As if this was a stylistic choice made by the filmmaker directing my dream to show that there's some kind of deeper relationship between these two women. So I've started dreaming in Lynch.

I like how this film is so utterly connected to not only Lynch's subconscious, but the audience's as well. Lynch is TAPPED IN. I don't always love when a film goes all in with a surreal style, because sometimes that's just a cover for something lacking in the storytelling department. But I do feel there's more to it here, in MULHOLLAND DRIVE.

The hooded woman, Louise... I feel like I've run into her on the streets of New York. A Louise will ALWAYS find a way to give you a portent of doom that ruins your day. Friggin’ Louise.

This movie is so moody, you really have to be in the mood to watch it.

There's something magical and prophetic about the cowboy, like he's the seer that the old general sees on the eve of battle... Also, I love how the lead female role in Justin Theroux's movie is his sword of destiny. There's a glitz and gleam and nostalgia to Old Hollywood that naturally gives this movie, set in "modern" Hollywood," a total fantasy vibe.

Hahaha that "You're still here?" scene rehearsal between Betty and Rita is an excellent transition.

James Karen - the real estate guy from POLTERGEIST - is handling casting! "He moved the headshots but he didn't cast the bodies!!"

The casting direction: "Don't play it for real until it gets real." It's interesting how the characters, who work in the "business," seem to control their reality. Betty seems unsure of where the scene is going, then she gets into it. And it really speaks to her conversion from a bright-eyed new arrival to someone who surrenders to the darker impulses of the city.

HEAVY BREATHING.

Ugh friggin' Bob...

I love how Lynnie, the casting director, pulls the rug out from under that scene. There's always a jaded casting person who totally wrecks any good feelings about every audition. It's a thing.

David Lynch uses nostalgia and a latent love for Hollywood to draw the characters (and us) into his world and then subverts our expectations. A lot.

Why is the screen test just a lip-synching contest? ...I think it feeds into the nostalgia element for the movie at large but it seems like a waste of studio resources here. Early-aughties Hollywood spending, amirite?

Rita's reaction to finding the body is played very much like the reaction a character would have in an older film... The horror! The fear! The silent gaping terror while possessed with the inability to scream. I was watching the original KING KONG before this (which is may be a sign from the universe that I had to watch this Naomi Watts vehicle, as she starred in the remake), and specifically remember the scene where the director Carl Denham is coaching Ann Darrow/Fay Wray on how to act in a horror film - "now look up, and you see it, you see it in all its horror. And your jaw drops and you try to scream but you're so frozen in terror that you can't!" - I imagine that's what Lynch is doing to not-Linda Fiorentino off-camera as they filmed this scene.

Uh-oh, Rita is single-white femal'ing Betty now... She doesn't have a personality of her own, so she's going to take Betty's.... And now we're just getting NUDE with each other. This erotic thriller immediately turned from skintillating to Skinemax.

"I'm in love with you" - is Betty just saying that to convince herself? It feels more lusty than real. Betty's so bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Rita is gonna chew her up and spit her out!

I like the shot when they're sleeping together and, as they rest, their faces overlap thanks to the perspective of the framing. How much of the same person are they becoming? Where does one personality start and the other end?

The weird 2am theater. How'd Rita and Betty find this place? I love how this pop-up slam-poetry reading in this opera house is as terrifying to Rita and Betty as finding the dead body.

So Betty starts convulsing in her seat and then the poet disappears in a kind of old-style, cinematic I'm disappearing effect. I dig it.

Wait... is this a mysterious, magical show that just appears in LA, like Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead, that town in THE MUMMY that only shows up at sunrise on the third day or something like that? Or is this just a poorly attended Spanish-language talent show that could only afford to book this theater at 2am on a Thursday?

I love that Betty and Rita are tearing up over Rebekah Del Rio's performance (Rebekah Del Rio is a real person, by the way). Then, Rebekah faints as her voice keeps singing - is NOTHING real? Has Betty totally given into this weird world to the point that she doesn't really know what's authentic and what's fake anymore OR was Betty fake before she got to LA so it was easy for her to get acclimated.

This movie is like THE MATRIX, from the perspective of characters who only took the blue pill and didn't look back.

OOOH, Betty has the box and Rita has the key! But the box is empty except maybe its the Gom Jabbar pain-box from DUNE. Is David Lynch using MULHOLLAND DRIVE as an excuse to make good on his promise to produce a good version of DUNE.

WAIT A SECOND, the cowboy knows the dead girl? Does this even matter?

Now, wait ANOTHER second. Is Betty performing or DREAMING when she's Diane or is something else going one??

What's the BLUE KEY doing there?

"Two Detectives"??? Is she talking about Betty and Rita OR Robert Forster and the pudgy guy? OR someone else entirely - the two guy's from Winky's???

The movie became more interesting the moment the perspective shifted to "Diane" and "Camilla." When that happened, Naomi Watts really amped up her performance... reaching a level of intensity we hadn't seen since Betty's audition... it does take 2 hours to reach that point.... But then, when Betty and Rita are topless on the couch, I couldn't tell who they were supposed to be until Rita/Camilla called her "Diane."

Wait, now Rita's acting?? OH, so Rita was an actress? And Diane wasn't? Or Betty looks exactly like Diane?

The weird shifts in focus. The sad masturbating. This is the most depressing soft-core ever made!

Did Betty get killed and have amnesia too?

They take a shortcut to Eddie's house which looks EXACTLY like where Rita/Camilla was taken at the beginning of the movie by the hitmen in the towncar before that wild accident with those teenagers made her life weirder... OR less weird. You be the judge.

IS this a flashback or the future. Eddie and Camilla are having an affair?

MY MOTHER? COCO - what's real and what isn't????

The jitterbug competition.... Diane/Naomi wanted the lead so bad, Camilla got the part but in Mulholland Drive, Naomi is the star.

Then, Camilla is kissing that other blond actress who Betty watched screen test...

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is just David Lynch telling us that LA is a place for lust and jealousy and no matter what, purity gets ruined.

WHAT, the blond waitress is BETTY? And Diane hires the blond guy, who's officially labeled as a hitman.

Diane is also from Canada...

Are Diane and Betty just different versions of the same people in nearby parallel universes? I certainly HOPE so. This is too much insanity for ONE universe to handle.

The blue key will be found where the blond guy told Diane. Okay, that makes sense. But if this were to mirror real life, the key was in her hand the WHOLE time!

OH, and hobo-Cloris Leachman comes back... AND she's holding the blue box/Gom Jabbar... WHY the hell did those two old people wander out of that paper bag??? Do they represent longstanding guilt? Seems like it. Because they've just crept into Diane's apartment.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost silly to the point of pretentiousness at points - at least with the last word to be uttered on screen - "silencio." That said, it does evoke the HAMLET line: "And the rest is silence," so THAT's poetic.

Sadly, Robert Forster was barely in this movie...

Oh, and Lee Grant played Louise - the old-Hollywood connections keep coming!

I can't believe this movie was intended to be a pilot?

***

Now, some final notes:

On the swapping of characters and relationships in the last 30 minutes -- my first thought was that Betty/Diane and Rita/Camilla look similar and/or they're connected by a parallel universe, and the diner is like the central hub between worlds, and hobo-Cloris Leachman is the gatekeeper between the two worlds... I buy the "dream world" explanation that some critics espouse, that's something I considered myself as I watched. But I'm not sure I believed Betty is Diane's dream version of herself. Also, I think David Lynch has a feeling about how everything fits together, yet I don't know if he's even settled on an explanation for everything. He just trusted his subconscious and he's so confident in his latent abilities, that we trust him to show us everything we need to see and take us everywhere we need to go.

I enjoy how it's a surrealist answer to SUNSET BOULEVARD. I hope in 2050, someone makes "The 405" really tying all these movies and Los Angeles roads together.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is weird but good. Still, I don't know if, to me, it's more weird than good. It's also funny. But is it funny because it's weird or because it's actually, genuinely funny? Are these questions David Lynch actually wants me to ask or does he make it weird on impulse to cover for the fact that the film is simply just weird and based entirely on impulse? MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost like a parody of a film noir, made by an inter-dimensional alien life-form who studied a bunch of movies from the 40's through the 90's but doesn't have a full grasp on human behavior, and DESPITE THAT, it's more of an emotional experience than a logical one. It's somewhere in between. It's self-indulgent in a way but also very giving. It's a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a coffee-stained napkin covered in cigarette ash locked in a small, blue box.

***

Summing it up: I don't think there's a world where this movie would get a perfect score from me. Because ultimately, for all it's interesting and exciting moments, it's more of a passion project for David Lynch than a piece of entertainment for the audience, no matter how entertaining it may be. To me, it's a vision board more than it is a complete film. And yet, it IS a complete EXPERIENCE. And there's nothing wrong with that.

All of that said, I know David Lynch doesn't really like to give viewers a clear cut, traditional narrative. So, I had a feeling the mystery was just that, a mystery. Or even moreso, the FEELING of a mystery. It's not about where we're going, it's about the journey to the destination. And while the general atmosphere is moody and evocative and often powerful, MULHOLLAND DRIVE plays more like a 2.5 hour piece of music than a cohesive narrative. Maybe that's the best thing about it.

In the distant future, when our way of speaking has become as archaic as the words of Shakespeare are to us, it's the feeling and emotions and images of movies like MULHOLLAND DRIVE that will still have a timeless impact on the future audiences who view them.

#Random Reviews #movie review #review #Mulholland Drive #David Lynch #Missing Frames #Twin Peaks #Naomi Watts #Laura Harring #Ann Miller #Justin Theroux #Dune #existential #surreal

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hermannsthumb · 4 years

Note

Would you be able to do #45 about taking you home for the holidays but now family thinks we're dating?

45. your family ditches you for the holiday so i take you home with me, except my family thinks we’re dating now, and i don’t know how to tell them that we’re not

from winter writing prompts here

YES I WOULD B HAPPY TO

-------------------------------------

“I can’t promise it’ll be very fun,” Hermann says. “You’ve met my family.”

“Like, barely,” Newt says. He’s met Hermann’s dickish older brother, and Hermann’s terrifying dad, both at the same PPDC banquet ages ago, back before they lost funding, and he doesn’t think he made a very good impression on either. (The shouting he did probably didn’t help his favor much. Nor the threatening.) The rest of them--the other two siblings, and a mom who must have at least a little bit of a cold streak in her to reproduce with Dr. Gottlieb senior four fucking times--are nothing but dark-haired and pointy-cheeked enigmas to him.

“Enough to know their sort,” Hermann says, a touch wryly. “It’ll be quite professional. Dinner. Cocktails. You’ll need to wear an, er, nicer tie. Perhaps a suit. Father will likely ask us about our work.”

“Sounds riveting,” Newt says.

Hermann sniffs. “You don’t have to come, you know. No one is forcing your hand.”

Which is true. What’s also true, though, is that when Newt phoned up his dad to excitedly inform him he’d be able to come home for the holidays for the first time in over five years, he was met with a short pause, and then an annoyingly knowing “But wouldn’t you rather spend it with your Hermann? Alone?”

“He’s not my anything,” Newt protested. “He’s just my--lab partner. And roommate.”

It fell on deaf ears, though: somehow Newt’s dad got it into his head that Newt had a thing for Hermann (which is totally ridiculous), and that Hermann had a thing for him too, and a holiday, alone, together, was all they needed to work out their feelings, and he was sure he’d have a brand new genius son-in-law and even grandkids in no time. This was when Newt choked on air and almost dropped the phone.

“Grandkids?”

“I just want to see my son happy,” his dad finished.

So, no Geiszler-style Chrismukkah for Newt this year. Not even something lowkey with Hermann, like they used to do back in the Shatterdome. Newt’s dad’s plan backfired spectacularly: when Newt informed Hermann he was fresh out of things to do this year, Hermann immediately invited him to Gottlieb-style mostly-secular Hanukkah back in Germany with him, and the guy looked so relieved to not have to face it alone that Newt couldn't help but say yes.

He’s starting to regret it now. “I don’t think I have any nice ties,” he admits. “Or, uh, any suits, either.”

Hermann hmphs. “I suppose we’ll have to make a stop at the shops, then, before we head to the airport. Do finish packing. I don’t want to be late.”

“Sounds great,” Newt sighs.

The plane ride over is long and boring, broken only by a short layover in London; Hermann is zonked out on Ambien for most of it (“You gave me a raging headache last time we flew together,” he explained, “I need some quiet.”), so Newt has no choice but to poke through the uninteresting movie selection until he finally settles on some old rom-com. Then his earbuds are busted on one side, so he has to buzz a flight attendant for another pair, and by the time they manage to get them back to him the movie has automatically shut itself off and Newt has to restart. Fucking annoying. Whatever.

Hermann’s youngest brother (Bastien, he thinks) meets them at the airport with his car. He’s smooth-faced and good-looking, with--as Newt expected--those same high cheekbones, that same dark hair. His, though, is curly in the way Newt’s only ever seen the ends of Hermann’s get when it’s damp. “Dr. Geiszler,” he says, giving Newt a firm handshake, then, in Hermann’s funny dialect of German, “It’s good to meet you. We’ve heard much about you.”

Good things, Newt hopes. But probably not. Whatever horror stories Hermann relayed over the years--messy laboratories, chunks of rotting aliens everywhere, a tendency to play electric guitar at four in the morning--would only have fed the fire that Newt stoked to life when he tried to throw a mimosa in Lars Gottlieb’s face all those years ago. This was a bad idea. “Uh,” Newt says. “Howdy.”

Hermann receives a small clap on the shoulder. He’s shorter than Bastien, Newt notices. How...cute. “Hermann,” Bastien says.

“Hello,” Hermann says.

They drive over in silence, Hermann and his brother in the front, Newt crammed in with the luggage in the back. It’s very scenic. Like some old-timey sort of painting. Snow and rolling hills everywhere. “What’s your house like, Hermann?” he says, as they pass what looks like a old barn.

“Old,” Hermann says, disinterestedly. He’s playing some sort of puzzle game on his phone. “Large. Bloody drafty, too--I’ll need my heating pad, or I’ll wake up stiff every morning.”

Newt hides his snicker behind his hand.

“My leg,” Hermann says, and turns in his seat just to roll his eyes at Newt.

“Mother made sure to put extra blankets on your bed,” Bastien says, conversation apparently flying right over his head.

“Oh,” Hermann says. He blinks. “That’s...good of her. Will Newton be in the guest room, then?”

Bastien gives him a strange look. “The guest room?” he says. Then, with a sort of bewilderingly knowing tone of voice, “We’re not children anymore, Hermann.”

“...Right?” Hermann says.

They have a small moment to themselves as Bastien--kindly--carries their luggage inside, and Newt tucks Hermann’s arm under his to help him navigate the iced-over old walking path. Newt means to ask about whether or not Bastien is always that weird, or if Newt’s German is rusty and things were just getting lost in translation, but Hermann surprises him by squeezing his hand in that way that means he’s nervous. He’s gotten better at reading Hermann’s tics and body language since the drift. “You look nice,” Hermann murmurs. (Hermann Gottlieb, complimenting him?) “I’m glad you chose the blue suit. It--”

“Suits me?” Newt jokes.

Hermann doesn’t laugh. “I won’t bother telling you to be on your best behavior,” he says, “because, quite frankly, I don’t care, and I know you won’t be anyway.”

“That’s true.”

“Just--please do try to stay by my side,” Hermann says. “You’ll make it remarkably easier for me.” He squeezes Newt’s hand again. Newt gives him a small smile.

“Of course,” he says.

Easier said than done, really. The second they step inside, Hermann is whisked off to the kitchen by Bastien to--evidently--be presented to his mother, and Newt is left alone in a small sitting room with the oldest brother he also shouted at all those years ago and a woman who can only be the sole Gottlieb sister.

They both stare at him. The oldest one narrows his eyes.

“Hey, guys,” Newt says, in his piss-poor German. “Nice to...be here.”

“Dr. Geiszler,” Karla says. She’s holding a glass of something amber. Probably some sort of whiskey. She takes a long sip of it without looking away from Newt once. “You’re shorter than I expected. Though I suppose Hermann’s always liked them short.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He hasn’t been roasted in his mother tongue in some time, not since one time when Hermann was really mad at him and English just wouldn’t suffice. He can’t say he missed it. If that’s what this is, anyway. “Thanks?”

“Geiszler,” Hermann’s older brother--Newt thinks his name is Dietrich--echoes thoughtfully. Recognition flits across his face; he stands from his armchair. “Geiszler. You’re the little prick Hermann betrayed our--”

“Newton is the little prick who helped save the world while our father was busy funneling millions into a pile of bricks,” Hermann says, suddenly materializing at Newt’s side from nowhere with a hand at his shoulder. “He is also he is here as my guest, I might add, so I would appreciate it if you treated him with the respect he deserves.”

Hermann’s brother sits back down.

“He’s still short,” Karla says.

Bastien is enlisted to show them up to Hermann’s childhood bedroom, hidden in the back of a very long hallway, and Hermann settles his suitcase down on the tiny twin bed with a small, mournful sigh. “Cold as ever,” he says. Newt happens to agree. “It’s like the bloody Arctic. I can’t understand it.” He plucks at the stack of blankets resting at the foot. “I suppose these’ll have to do.”

Newt’s suitcase is hefted onto the bed, too. Bastien wouldn’t let Newt carry it himself. (Hermann refused assistance.) “You should be able to fit comfortably. Hermann is nothing but skin and bones--he won’t take up too much space.”

“Uh,” Newt says. “Fit?”

“On the bed,” Bastien says.

Newt and Hermann stare at him. “Ah,” Hermann says. “No.” Then, as if he’s explaining something to a small child, “Newton is sleeping in the guest bedroom.”

“I told you,” Bastien says, “we’re not children. Nobody expects him to.”

Expects him to? “I mean, I kinda expected to,” Newt says.

Bastien touches both of their shoulders and gives them something that might be a smile, if you tilted your head and squinted a little. Guess it runs in the family. “We already know,” he says

Then he leaves.

“Huh,” Newt says. “Hey, Hermann, I’m like, eighty percent sure they think we’re bang--”

“I know,” Hermann snaps. He groans, collapses onto the bed, buries his face in his hands. Newt shoves his own hands in his pockets awkwardly; he’s a little hurt Hermann’s this upset over the concept, to be honest. “But why?”

“Well, what did you tell them about me?” Newt says. There were plenty of rumors flying around about them after the end of the war, plenty of weird Buzzfeed articles ranking Newt’s haircuts and speculating on how platonic their living situation was, so he wouldn’t be surprised if (like Newt’s dad) Hermann’s siblings saw some of those and put two and two together and made five. Because it is platonic. Obviously.

“That you’re a brilliant scientist,” Hermann says. “An--er--friend. Partner. That we live together. That we--with the kaiju’s brain--I know it’s classified, but it seemed important.” He groans again. “Oh, they’ll never believe me.”

Knowing Hermann, he probably did refer to Newt as his partner and not see how that could be misconstrued in anyway. “Then just don’t say anything,” Newt says. “I don’t mind it if you don’t.”

Hermann looks up sharply. “You don’t?”

Newt shrugs, going a little pink. He doesn’t think Hermann will notice. “There are worse things to be than your date. Can we eat dinner now? All I had all day was some pretzels on the flight.”

He holds out his hand to Hermann. Hermann takes it, staring strangely at him. “Alright,” he says.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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garbagegrimoire · 4 years

Text

podcast notes week 1

Here are the notes I had going into the podcast recording for week 1.

There are some spoilers in here & all of the doodle/synopsis posts have not yet dropped but the episode is recorded & here we gooooo...

Train to Busan

Starting out strong with a zombley deert (to speak in cursed rickyisms).

Giving his kid some yuppie bullshit talk & almost gets them clobbered in traffic, great dad.

Damn that escalated quickly. Why did it take so long for the first lady to turn but the others are like instantaneous?

The shots, effects, & choreography in this movie are crazy!

The grandma has lucid moments before changing which seems more than what the passengers got. & she used them to break hearts.

Ohhh he's a “fund manager,” ofc he's a dick.

Watching a zombie movie during a pandemic hits different.

I like that the bad ass in this movie is a soon to be dad with a dad bod & he's also a boomer who doesn't know how to change his ringtone.

Okay, they’re officially fit daddy & dad bod.

Okay legit tears at dad bod sacrificing himself even though I knew it was coming.

LOL young capitalist bastard fighting old capitalist bastard

This is capitalism & I hate it. OFC the motherfucker willing to screw over everyone else even if he doesn't need to prevails nearly to the end.

We need a zombie killing axe... Oh wait, nevermind, a shoe is good too.

Oh wow, that shit is poignant. The most ruthless capitalist of the group having a mama moment before he changes.

I'm sitting here yelling, get his nards, fit daddy! Do the nuts still have any effect?

Oh shit, fit daddy is infected. Human bites are gross.

This sucks, I hate it. :(

OH FUCK WHY DO THEY MAKE IT WORSE OMG!

& worse.

I didn't want to cry this much, not fair.

Re-Animator

Ooh, my German 101 skills are tingling.

Chaos nerd is everything in this scene. You wondrous ball of absolute cheese.

The security guard saying "Nobody wants in & ain't nobody getting out" is the Chekov's gun of this movie.

Fuckin’ nerd talk. Do either of you even lift? Why don't you duke this out in a tables, ladders, & chairs match?

I don't feel great about that transition between her playfully saying "no" & them full plowing. Greeeeeassy.

I'm with the cat on this one — scratch him!

"The world's last living puritan." LOL, come to eastern Washington tho.

How in the world is this lady's creep radar going off w nerdboy but not with the creepy old man trying to bang her?

They did a few things really well with this cat thing. Because usually I could not DEAL with violence against a pet. First the dead cat doesn't look anywhere near realistic, nonetheless once it's reanimated. Also, there's no like huge emotional connection between the character & the cat because the only experience the viewer has with it prior to it dying is it scratching his back after he's done banging, which I mean, solid choice there kitty.

"Because it's maaaad?" Best line in this mf movie.

I like how quick Halsey turns on nerdboy who he was stoked on like two days later. All because he insulted the creepy old man?

"Here's your meatball!" Writers were A+ obv.

"I know you're all by yourself now." Ew no. Again, she reacts to something other than the creepy old guy trying to bang her. PLEASE REACT, maybe punch him in the face or move to a different state without notifying anyone.

I’m dying, it looks like he's dribbling cherry applesauce out of his mouth.

This is the corniest, dumbest break up scene I've ever watched.

So once they're lobotomized they have like a mind link with the old guy head? Alright...?

Okay so we've arrive. This scene is fucking pure unadulterated cringe & makes me feel like I need to take several showers & drink bleach.

"Get a job & a sideshow." This entire movie is this nerd & that's what I'm here for.

How is there this seemingly endless supply of this green ooze? Also this reminds me of TMNT.

LOL the murderous colon strikes.

I'm very confused on the rules of what stays alive & how. Like the hand is still twitching but the guy in the hallway is dead?

Nothing gore-wise has bothered me so far but the chest compression sound is gross.

This guy is the worst. If he loved her he'd let her die.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

"Future events such as these will affect you in the future." You don’t say, friend.

Hillabilly gravediggers saying "sorta spooky like" is the mood here.

The scream is so good.

A conspiracy theorist manifesto delivered on a suburban patio made entirely out of wicker.

The walking dead in this movie are so much more chill than the last two, just saying. Like if you're going to kill me, fine, but be chill about it.

"The earth people who can think are so frightened by those who cannot — the dead." Truuuuuuu. Thinking sucks, bro.

The pillow talk is all kinds of weird.

Hey, I know you're worried too, but because you're a child that can't care for herself, make sure you lock the doors because that's something a feeble woman wouldn't remember to do.

"You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe." Ooof this hits different now.

Yeah, it's old timey & corny but there are some seriously artsy scenes in this. I love the glowing trees.

Vampira is aesthetic goals if: I was more feminine, if I gave a fuck, if anyone ever looked at me, lol.

If some big dead dude was coming for you why in the hell would you just stand there or sit there & scream? Like these are the easiest monsters to escape from, you all are so gd slow.

That's it, I'm dressing up as one of these aliens for Halloween. All I need is some black pants, a belt, & a shiny purple shirt.

LOL little green men. Shoot first, ask questions later. Get all the tropes in there buck-o.

I just realized the dude alien is called Eros & I'm laughing. Total heartthrob. "You're always right, Eros." Fucking yuuuck. Miss me with all of this.

Holy trigger happy.

Explode the actual particles of sunlight. LOL, OMG "STRONGER NATION THAN NOW." These fucking nationalist trashbags.

Yes, of course aliens are religious too. & the're sexists. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO THROW THE MONITOR OUT THE WINDOW STAHP!

This was so much. I mean it's the old humans are dumb, violent animals & need to be gently led or annihilated. Okay, that can be true. But the aliens here needed to FOAD too.

Dead Birds

Is Mark Boone Jr in everything & will he die early? (yes)

Very aesthetic theme

Bank manager's whiskers are on point.

The fuck? Oooh racist, niiiiice. I hate everyone all the time.

Yup this is how bank robbers would behave, wanting to kill of members of the gang to get a bigger share.

Gross, just listening into their friends banging, being creepy.

Is it turning into a bear? (Ohhh, the footprints)

Okay one of these dudes actually has something like a conscience, good to know, still hate him.

54 minutes in & I'm getting real bored.

Good jump scare w the little girl.

Okay the lady in the barn was too much for me. Gore was too much.

"There are worse things than dying" Best line.

Okay first I was like "that's not vomit, it's too white" & then I realized she'd been in bed with her dude earlier & yelled "ew, is she puking cum?" at my computer because that's where my dumpster fire of a brain goes.

Poor horses :(

He just disappeared? TF?

Nah, I’m not feeling this.

#sage31days

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darcy-and-steve · 4 years

Link

by ChrissiHR

“The serum seems to be sorting out Rogers. He still has remainders in his bloodstream of the biological agent we’ve traced back to the flowers from Nowhere. Thor ID’d them. They’re the, uh, vines currently blowing Barton’s mind,” Tony continued, blithely ignoring the sounds coming from the Barton-Barnes end of the row of containment. He brought up charts and graphs on holoscreens that Darcy had no hope of ever seeing without her glasses. (Truthfully, she was grateful not to have her glasses, she decided, when she heard Barton start choking his chicken again.) “They’re some kind of spring festival flower, packed with wicked pheromones that force you to fuck until you die or to possibly fuck to live. We’re not sure yet. Allspeak isn’t infallible, so we’re running some additional scans before we run the risk of letting Barton fuck it out with the Growl Next Door.” He pointed to Bucky’s containment unit, where Bucky did, in fact, seem to be growling. And…suddenly looked a lot furrier than she remembered. “Barton got dosed with the Nowhere specimen, because Barnes is a romantical son of a bitch and Barton just had to stick his face in the want-sum-fuck space flowers because he has exactly zero self-preservation instincts.”

Words: 4355, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Hawkeye (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers, Jane Foster (Marvel), Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Maria Hill, The Guardians of the Galaxy (mentioned), Tilda Johnson, (Dr. Nightshade), Tony Stark

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: Humor, Sexual Humor, buying each other flowers, Clint Barton is romo af, Old Timey Sarge slidin up in there to put his thing down, darcy ships it, Darcy Is a Good Bro, one fic—two ships, Enthusiastic Consentacles, Werewolf Bites, pheromone shenanigans (also enthusiastic), nobody tell Pepper, clint loves dogs, Happy Ending, teeny bit of explicit sexytimes, Winterhawk Bingo 2020, WinterHawk Bingo, Darcy Lewis Bingo 2020, Darcy Lewis Bingo, dlbingo, One-shot Wednesday

darcysteve love via AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers'

#darcy x steve #starcy #shieldshock #IFTTT #Feedly

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ussgallifrey · 4 years

Text

Artemis: Annotations

Chapter 001:

The lakes in the story are the Great Lakes that surround Michigan. They are massive, some might compare them to a sea. But they are the largest freshwater bodies of water in the world.

The bridge in question is the Mackinac Bridge. It is the only way to drive from the lower peninsula into the upper peninsula. And it is TERRIFYING.

It's a five-mile-high suspension bridge over the straits of Mackinac (the connecting point of Lake Michigan and Lake Huron). Not for those with a fear of heights. And the wind? God, that wind can move a semi truck back and forth. They'll close the bridge down if the weather is bad enough. Beautiful to look at. Awful to drive across.

Chapter 002:

Mackinac Island is a small tourist trap in between the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan. It's one of three islands within a ferry ride away from the central cities. It's known for its charming old buildings, historical markers, fudge, and the fact that there are no cars allowed on the streets (besides emergency vehicles). You get around by walking, horses, carriages, or bikes. Snowmobiles in the winter months. It has under 500 year-round residents.

Round Island is a mile away, it is uninhabited and part of the Hiawatha National Forest. The only building is the old lighthouse. People can kayak there from the main island and camp.

Bois Blanc is the last island and the largest. It's population is under 100 people and it gets nowhere near the amount of tourists that Mackinac does.

Ferry boats are the main way to the island. Usually about 15 - 30 minute rides. Mackinac and Bois Blanc have airports as well for small aircraft. Two dock points are in Mackinaw City in the lower peninsula and St. Ignace in the upper peninsula.

"Fudgies" is the islander way of referring to tourists. Because of the crazy amounts of fudge that is made on the island.

Chapter 003:

NICU stays are no joke, I speak from experience. They are the worst possible thing in the world for a parent to experience. Good for the babies, heart-wrenching for the parents. 0/10, would not recommend.

"See the colors!" This is a known phrase in Michigan. The old folk love to go on road trips to see the changing leaves during the fall. A lot of people go to Mackinac at the end of season to catch them.

Fort Mackinac was built on the 150-foot limestone bluffs of the island in the Revolutionary War. It's currently a living history museum with reenactors and exhibits throughout the restored buildings.

Chapter 004:

The Great Lakes Avengers are known in Marvel comics for protecting the area around the Great Lakes. They're much lesser known superheroes.

Line 5 is, unfortunately, a real pipeline. Though it was put in during the 50s. And yes, environmentalists do hate it because there have been breaks in it. And the whole freshwater habitats and wildlife are greatly endangered by it.

Chapter 005:

The old timey photo of the woman? It's a movie still of Jane Seymour from Somewhere in Time.

It was a movie in the 80s that was filmed on the island. They're known for it there, people flock to the island because of it - scout out locations from the film and even dress up in 1910s clothing during a weekend at the Grand Hotel (a central spot in the movie).

Her and Christopher Reeves (aka. Superman) were the main couple. Very good movie. There is a shop called Baxter's (which is also featured in the film) and they have this window display in tribute to the movie.

Chapter 006:

Most tourists are off the island once summer's over. Some stay for the fall colors and what not. But the main shops and businesses and hotels close their doors come November 1st.

People will make their way to the island during the winter months, but the type of tourists that come over won't be experiencing the high traffic and usual haunts.

"The brooding tough-guy schtick," is a line pulled from the comic Tales of Suspense #101, where Clint and Bucky team up and he says this exact same line to Buck.

Chapter 008:

Some nicknames for the Mackinac Bridge include: the Mighty Mac, the Big Mac, and simply the Mac.

Chapter 009:

Oh my god, I can not stress to you enough about this stupid bridge. If you want to know what it's like to be inside this thing, you should check out these videos: climbing down and climbing up. Not for those with a fear of tight spaces or heights, though.

Chapter 012:

I like to throw out little Easter eggs here and there for things. Not just related to Marvel or the mythology references, but Michigan stuff too. Agent 26 is aptly named as such because the state was the 26th to gain statehood in 1837.

She's part of the Michigan branch of SHIELD headquartered in the state capital of Lansing.

#series: artemis #annotations

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whimsicalethnographies · 5 years

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My Thoughts on Endgame

Major spoilers and a TL;DR on how it all collapsed under its own wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic

So, to start, it was fine. Like, it was just fine. There were parts I liked, parts I hated, parts I refuse to except as canon (and may not have to), and parts that just didn’t make any damn sense.

And at the bottom of it all, is how the movie was “a gift to the fans” and, while unspoken, a swan song. The fan service was TOO heavy, and it really felt as though they thought of their fanservice moments, and then built the story around those, rather than building a story and finding fanservice moments to sneak in.

Ok, things I liked:

There were genuinely funny moments, most of which didn’t feel smushed in. Nobody likes the stairs Hulk, and I’m glad that Steve has accepted that sometimes his Cap lines are a little Too Much.

While I hated the death, I do like that Tony Stark is literally the messiah of the universe. He didn’t owe anybody anything anymore, but he still took the step and made the sacrifice to protect his wife and his reality and his children. Plural.

I did like Tony being done, wanting out, yelling at the group. He was at his end and couldn’t do it anymore, and while there are legit discussions to have about CW--I think they were both wrong in a way--but the fact is he was right about the greater threat and nobody believed him.

I can’t believe a dorky photo of Peter Parker looking like a fish and messing up bunny ears and Tony Stark not smiling saved the universe.

Tom Holland is gonna win an Oscar some day. I knew what happened going in--I HATE not knowing--so while I got teary during several points, I started blubbering when he said, “we won, Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark, we won. You did it, sir.”

RDJ should win an Oscar for this. There were moments that were OOC but he still put everything into it. Him, Nat, and Peter were really the only ones I *felt* in this movie.

Their reunion hug--Peter coming back and being Purely Peter, and Tony looking at him, like oh my god, he’s exactly the same and I can’t believe he’s rambling like this I missed him so much.”

“Activate Instant Kill!” Oh, my sweet baby boy Peter. You kept the gauntlet safer than longer than anyone.

Tony Stark has been my Pretend Superhero Dad since I first saw Iron Man in 2008 in a dollar theater while munching on a sneaked-in Whopper. He is Iron Dad, both to Morgan and his Spider-son and he took an extra step, one he didn’t have to do, to make sure they both made it ok.

Also, and I love Carol, but Thanos yeeted her the fuck off the field with the power stone. Tony Stark withstood the power stone using his nanotech shield on Titan. Most Powerful Avenger.

Scott is a joy.

Cap and Mjolnir was an okay scene I enjoyed, but it was a prime example of writing the story around fanservice. Yeah, it was fun, but it was better to imagine he couldn’t fully lift it in AoU because he knew about Bucky and the Starks, so he wasn’t fully worthy.

Now, the things I *didn’t* like:

How did Carol find the Benetar? And how did she get it back?! Like, I know because she’s the embodiment of the Space Stone she technically has omnipresence and/or is capable of light speed, but does that extend to other objects? Wouldn’t it have torn the Benetar apart?

The time jump was *off.* And I have a hard time believing Tony would have just moved on like that. I think he would have tried, but it was too easy, considering.

The strange mismatch between desolation--NYC, arguably the most important city in the world, is a ghost town, while other places are fine? More on infrastructure problems later.

Hulk dabbing. Come on. Was that a joke on Bruce being old and out of touch, or are people still dabbing in 2023?

Thor. Oh Thor. His PTSD was treated as a joke--save his convo with Frigga--and it sucked, especially since they did so well with Tony’s PTSD. That’s the writers, who we all know have had their noses up Cap’s butt since forever.

The fact that it’s implied Pepper knew Tony wasn’t really happy when he went to talk to her about solving time travel. That he wasn’t settled, that this still weighed on him, even when it was hopeless. Why’d she let him build that life then?

“You can rest now.” Yeah, ok. Suffer so much, finally get what you want in your grasp, then your reward is death. See above. It cheapens his sacrifice because it’s implied he was never fully immersed and happy with his life.

Nat got done dirty. I wasn’t ok with it. I know it was supposed to be the final, “erase the red in her ledger” moment but why? Like Tony, she already had.

The infrastructure issues. The universe was halfed, then doubled, five years apart. Even if we accept that all of Peter’s friends and Flash were snapped, still doesn’t fly. See below for a possible out.

Cap. Oh Cap. My guy is dead but at least he’s The Hero. But they ruined Cap’s character. I don’t for a second believe he’d just sit and hide with Peggy. And they discussed heavily what happens when you subtract something from a timeline, and the splits, but what happens when you ADD something? I know the implication is that he was always Peggy’s husband, but it still doesn’t work, for the timelines stuff AND his character. And who’d he steal the shield from? He took something! And I don’t for a single second believe he went to Vormir. Nope. This was Steggy fanfic. And I don’t honestly care, but the fact is that he’s been working on moving FORWARD. A man out of his time trying to find himself. He literally took a step backwards.

Ok, adding on to that, the timey wimey nonsense. The movie spent SO MUCH TIME explaining the logic of their own rules and then don’t follow them. Here are some diagrams from my childhood bestie who gets time shit more than I do.

Apparently here is what they were trying.

They seesaw back and forth, but in the end Timeline F is the same as Timeline A, or the one they started from.

BUT, here’s her diagram of what actually happened:

It’s a big fat mess, and if the End Timeline is F, then the timeline where Tony snaps is D, and it got very confusing very fast. She’s going to type it up for me, but apparently the last third of the movie can’t exist per their own logic, least of all the end, especially because we don’t know exactly what Tony wished for. Was it the destruction of Thanos? What happens when you add a past to a future then delete that past? Where’s that timeline? What happened with Steve’s stuff? LOKI? A1 never ended because they literally took it. It’s not there anymore. Steve stealing the Pym Particles?! He took something and didn’t put it back. Another branch off. Did Tony wish, “give me what I need to fix this?” IF he did that, she posits, he smushed the timelines together to make everything coherent, AND potentially fix the infrastructure issues, so while A Tony’s BODY may have died, which Tony was it? Did he have a moment in the soul stone, like Thanos? Is that a requirement? What did he do/say there? (Also, just pointing out, never trust a funeral without a body, and the power of the Soul Stone is literally that no death is permanent. That’s its canonical power!!)

There’s so much mess and I’ll have more when my friend sends along her stuff. But I have NO problem deleting most of this from my mind, and I already have ideas to fix it, but I’ll leave those stories in the hands of people better able to tell them (I’m looking at you, @iron--spider) because I’m a dialogue bitch myself.

I told @iron--spider last night I felt adrift, and typing this out I know why. I’m not mourning, I’m not excited. I’m devastated by Tony’s death but there’s so many logic holes my brain isn’t even struggling to see a way around it. I’m livid about Steve, because he went backwards. Thor’s trauma was played for laughs. I have no satisfaction because of ALL THE HOLES, and because they literally wrote a story around fanservice--a huge amount of it their own--instead of writing the story and then adding fanservice to it.

It was fine. I’ll probably buy it when it’s released, but I don’t need to see it again. And I’m curious about Far From Home because of the infrastructure but I don’t know if I’ll wait until it’s out on video just because I don’t have any urge to watch Peter Parker mourn another parent.

In the meantime, until the fix-its start rolling in, here’s a ready-made fix-it that Iron--spider wrote last year, to hold us through: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183011/chapters/35211239

It was fine. And so full of holes it doesn’t even cement its own canon, despite what Disney officially decided to put on the big screen.

“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #get on this best writers #there's so many outs

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heythererosetyler-blog · 5 years

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10th Doctor Novels Review from ‘oh give me a break’ to ‘more of that please!’ There are DW novels and then there are DW NOVELS and today, fellow Whovians, I will be giving you MY list of the top 5ish best and worst novels from the 10th Doctors’ run. I think all the books in the best category could be switched around depending on what you are looking for from #10. For instance, I like him best when he is alone so you don’t get the classic, ‘must save companion’ story and I also like the one’s where he is a hairs-breath away from being killed. It bears repeating that, except for the book at the #1 spot which no one who has read it would ever argue that it doesn’t deserve that honor, this is simply how ‘I’ would rank them. YMMV. Also, and this is a big one if you keep going YOU WILL SEE SPOILERS, so proceed with caution if you plan on reading any of the books on the list. So, go on and read/listen to it…. we will wait. (Taps foot and drums fingers while whistling the DW theme. Badly.) Welllll…I said we will wait but, welllll…. I really meant that I would wait but welllll…. nah, you had your chance so just tread lightly. Or read with your eyes closed because, and let me repeat this…. THERE ARE SOME MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS!! )))))*((((( Imho and without going into too much detail, the following can be passed by without missing out on anything. In fact, if you read any of these first you may just be turned off of DW books completely. The Last Dodo by Jacqueline Rayner Ummm, if you are interested in trying to figure out where the Dodo went, this might appeal to you. The only interesting feature is that where it ended up is where the Doctor might end up unless he and Martha can free the missing creatures from all across the universe from this evil zoo. Trust me, not as exciting as it sounds but it might have been if it been written better. And in that same vein we have…… The Doctor Trap by Simon Messingham I don’t know what it is about trying to catch the Doctor because he is the last of his kind that just cannot be written right, but here is another. I had high hopes for this one because it starts out pretty good but after the first chapter or so you just want to scream ‘CATCH HIM ALREADY AND MAKE THE PAIN OF READING THIS STOP!!’ The Wooden Heart by Martin Day Has nothing to do with a heart that is wooden. I am still unsure as to why it is called what it’s called. On the ‘Goodreads’ website the description of the book states: A trip through space becomes a nightmare walk in the woods for the Doctor and Martha. Period. End of description. I think the reason it ends there is because there is nothing much more to say. I have read much better fanfic than this. Others that I consider a touch better, with maybe a little less snore factor are…. The Slitheen Excursion by Simon Guerrier The Many Hands by Dale Smith )))))*((((( Whew, let’s all take a deep breath and get into the tasty 10 tales, shall we? The Stone Rose by Jacqueline Rayner How do you take a story about ancient Rome, a 2000 year old statue of Rose aka the goddess Fortuna found at the British Museum, a genie, fake astrologer, evil sculptor and a crazed Doctor who is panic stricken while trying to save her but gets thrown into the REAL lion’s den and forced to fight in the Colosseum, and make it all work? Write a book like this! If you like your books a bit timey-wimey you will eat this one up. AND this is the only published story where I think you will ever read the lines…. “(His) arms flexed and grabbed Rose into a hug. Soft lips pressed hers with a kiss of gratitude and joy and unspeakable pleasure at being alive.” A gazillion Ten/Rose shippers just punched the air. They also would agree with Rose when, a line or two later she says…. “I think you must be real…my imagination’s not that good.” Neither is ours Rose, neither is ours. A fast and :: cough:: satisfying read! In the Blood by Jenny Colgan Ok, I know that a lot of people have a problem with the fact that whoever did the proof-reading was obviously sleeping on the job, but I still think it is a great book. And strangely enough, I really wasn’t thrilled by the premise of the story; an infection is let loose over the internet turning normally calm, everyday people into violent pressure cookers who die when their anger gets too much for their hearts to handle. What I DO love is how much the author just ‘gets’ the Doctor and Donna and the predicaments she puts them in. I mean she just nails them and by doing so it elevates the story into something special. On top of that Colgan introduces a near perfect pseudo-villain named Fief. He is a big brute of a guy from the planet Cadmia who is unpredictable and whose loyalties are to his people and to retrieving the source of the infection no matter what he has to do to get it. He is unfeeling, totally logical and robotic (picture the Terminator and he comes pretty close) and wears an earpiece that connects him to his world who are all raised on and made of sound. When the Doctor entrusts him to care for Donna as he believes he is going to his death, Fief obeys and holds Donna back from following him. He seems to connect to Donna which is fascinating to read. Meanwhile back on the train, the Doctor disconnects the engine so that the cars slow and stop but he has to get the train to jump the tracks before it barrels into the town. The big problem is that the train is suspended over a huge viaduct located in the Brazilian rainforest and it is one hell of a long way down. And since the engine is heavier than he is it will burst into a huge ball of flame which our hero will land in as well. Colgan comes up with some of the most beautiful writing here as the Doctor falls…. “And, as he cut through the air, all the things that fall pulsed through his head: a glorious downed pheasant on the wing; and a windfall apple in Lincolnshire; and a golden ball in Pisa; and a hammer and a feather on the moon; and a wall in the bitter east; and every passing snowflake and lonely airman and oh so many tumbling stars…. And he felt a part of all of these things.” There are other heart stopping moments in this book that make me wish it was available on audio. Another winner! FUN MENTION/Target Novelization of…. “The Day of the Doctor” by Moffat Since we are talking Ten, I am adding this for one reason and one reason only: The Tenth Doctor kicks the Eleventh Doctors ass. After releasing the initial script for the ‘movie,’ the Moff rewrote it to help clarify some things and give each Doctor a bit more back story. It explains how Ten had been put in that very same cell during his Zygon investigation that all three of them got thrown in together. Elizabeth tosses him in there because she believes him to be a spy and yet visits him often because he makes her laugh…. even during his torture on ‘the rack.’ Pre-picnic shows how he came within seconds of being beheaded (he wonders if both his head and body would regenerate if separated) and how he wanted his final thoughts to matter…. “Realizing he was now, beyond all doubt about to die, the Doctor rose up inside himself, steadied his hearts and chose his final thought with care. The children. The children of Gallifrey.” This I think, more than any other reason explains why he was so angry when 11 didn’t remember how many children died. In the book version he becomes so angry that he gets in his face, screams at him about not remembering then grabs his shirt and throws him across the room into the opposite wall, knocking him out. 11 wakes up to seeing 10 pacing and mumbling about how he doesn’t hit people but then says, “But 2.47 billion children!” before launching himself once more at 11 but this time gets him in a headlock shouting “How could you forget?! HOW COULD YOU FORGET?!” I would have paid good money to have seen this instead of merely reading it. It is for everyone who sobbed their eyes out when 10 regenerated and still to this day have a hard time revisiting it. This is all of us saying to 11, ‘Yeah, take THAT bowtie boy!’ even though we ended up liking him eventually. 3 - Peacemaker by James Swallow Quote: “A weapon is only a tool. I’ve heard a lot of people say that over the years. But so is a hammer, and if that’s the only tool you have, pretty soon everything starts to look like a nail.” Oh, I love that! Peacemaker is a scifi western. No, really it is and guess what…Swallow pulls it off! The official summary is: “The peace and quiet of a remote homestead in the 1880s American West is shattered by the arrival of two shadowy outriders searching for 'the healer'. When the farmer refuses to help them, they burn the house and the owners to the ground, using guns that shoot bolts of energy instead of bullets... In the town of Redwater, the Doctor and Martha learn of a snake-oil salesman whose patent medicines actually cure his patient. But when the Doctor and Martha investigate, they discover the truth is stranger, and far more dangerous. Caught between the law of the gun and the deadly plans of intergalactic mercenaries, the Doctor and Martha are about to discover just how wild the West can become...” Whew, a lot to take in I know but very worth it. The badie is a good one called the Clade which exist for one thing: war, death and destruction. They are on earth to get back a gun that belongs to them and they will stop at NOTHING to retrieve it. Problem is one man found it and the gun did what it is meant to do which is attach itself to its host and take it over completely. It has the ability to heal but that is not its main purpose. The Clade are simply machines that were made on a planet which was at war and let the Clade do the battles for them. But then there was peace and the Clade had no purpose anymore so they waited and waited and finally decided to destroy the civilization that made them and then go out into the universe to fight battles wherever they could. I can picture the Doctor donning a cowboy hat and riding a horse. One of the many scenes I really like is when 3 gunslingers come out of a bar and challenge the Doctor to a duel. It goes like this…. “The Lyle Brothers were quick on the draw, and they put a fan of bullets into the air before them; but they could only be as fast as human beings. The Doctor was a Time Lord, and he moved between the ticks of the clock. His hand blurred towards the holster on his hip, grabbing the slender wand there and thumbing the activation switch. The sonic screwdriver droned loudly, and the air between the gunslingers and the Doctor shimmered like heat-haze off the desert. Three speeding dots of lead stopped dead and flattened against an invisible wall of sound, before falling harmlessly to the dirt.” The end of the book was shocking when the Doctor makes the ultimate sacrifice by allowing the gun to take him over so that he can use it to save Martha’s life. After that it was an internal battle between the Clade gun that was trying to possess him, and the Doctors own inner struggle which was a fascinating fight. 2 – The Eyeless by Lance Parkin Quote: “Do you know what? In the end their sacrifice made no difference. Because THEY survived. Thousands of them, millions. Just one. It doesn’t matter. It’s the same thing. And…do you know what?... life is always better than death. Always. Yet I want all of THEM dead. Every single last one of them. When did I become someone who wanted to exterminate? When was that? When did they win?’ Take one brilliant hero, put him in a position where he must find and remove such a incredibly lethal weapon that it can destroy whole planets, then put it at the heart of a HUGE pyramid shaped fortress whose defense systems both inside and out are pin-point accurate to protect the weapon and you would have an good story. THEN throw in an alien species called the Eyeless who are made of a glass like material and who also want the weapon and will kill the Doctor to keep him from getting it and you are probably reading a great story! THEN add in thousands of ‘ghosts’ that also inhabit the fortress and whose touch turns their victims into a ghost as well. Even though they mean no harm, they do not understand their effect on those they touch which makes them yet another barrier for him to get by. This up’s the entertainment factor, making it a fantastic story! Finally throw into the mix one bully teenager who HATES the Doctor and also wants him dead, make the Doctor companionless, lonely and very introspective, have it all put together by an exceptional writer…. mix well and you have something that you lose sleep over and will reread multiple times. The Doctor is up against an almost insurmountable goal that very nearly breaks him. It is a breathless page-turner that is not for the faint of heart. Parkin wrote this for a Doctor who is quick on his feet, a blazingly fast thinker who can stay one step ahead of multiple traps and enemies, one who is physically strong and extremely cunning. In other words, Ten. I can’t see any of the others having all those qualities in one dynamic package that Parkin could have placed center stage except him. For instance... “The Doctor had broken free of the Eyeless, but it still had a six-fingered handful of his coat and jacket lapel. The Doctor was closed in, his arm under the Eyeless’ so that he had it in what he rather hoped was a wrestling hold…. The glass man shoved the Doctor against the back wall. It wasn’t any stronger than a human being, although that was strong enough to push the air out of his lungs. He recovered, twisted, managed to trip the Eyeless over and now he had it pinned, his knee in its back, although it was hard to keep hold….” And this was just one Eyeless. At one point during the above scene Parkin describes it as almost like a waltz as the two vie for dominance over the other. There is a lot of physical jousting and plain old hand to (glass) hand combat that I don’t think any of the others could have pulled off as well as Ten. Where the ghosts are concerned there’s a part where he is surrounded by them as they advance. He is trying to get through to them that if they touch him, he will not become a ghost, he will just disappear. But there is a part of him that is just so tired and feels so alone that he actually wonders if that would be a bad thing. As they come closer you can tell that he is almost yelling at himself when he loses it, saying to them… “I’m the last one,” the Doctor said. ‘I’m it. My people died. All of them. And Time Lords don’t die just the once, you know. You have to kill us a lot more than once to make it stick.’ Still the ghosts pressed at him, some holding out their hands like beggars after a scrap of food, some shouldering towards him like they were after a fight, some apparently just wanting him to see them cry. They kept coming, like waves to a beach. ‘Do you know what? In the end their sacrifice made no difference. Because THEY survived. Thousands of them, millions. Just one. It doesn’t matter. It’s the same thing. And…do you know what?... life is always better than death. Always. Yet I want all of THEM dead. Every single last one of them. When did I become someone who wanted to exterminate? When was that? When did they win?’ The ghosts weren’t listening.” At times it feels like you are eavesdropping on a therapy session because we get to hear the inner workings of his mind. It is a fascinating way to understand this Doctor’s motivations and feel his loneliness. This story is like one big ‘Escape Room’ where you either solve it or die trying. As the Doctor would say, ‘no second chances.’ It’s that kind of story. 1 – Prisoner of the Daleks by Trevor Baxendale Scene: “The execution squad was already moving back towards Jennifer and Kuli, taking up extermination positions again. The Doctor ran over and placed himself between the Daleks, the little girl and her mother. “If you really want to kill them then you’ll have to go through me first.” “You can be disabled" warned Dalek X "Try It” The Dalek guns twitched impatiently in their sockets. All eyes were on the Doctor, but he met the pitiless blue stares unflinchingly. “Harm them in any way and I will not cooperate. You can disable me and torture me again or even kill me, but you will NEVER get the TARDIS!” ― Trevor Baxendale, Prisoner of the Daleks Fellow Whovians please bow down and give thanks to the man who wrote possibly the greatest DW novel of all time, certainly of the reboot…. Trevor Baxendale. Ok, ok so I haven’t read EVERY DW book so the ‘all time’ comment can be almost ignored. I say almost because I have read reviews by those who have been fans from Hartnell to now who have also said that this is the absolute best ever written. Don’t believe me? Check out YouTube where there have been a couple of attempts at recreating scenes, or the video reading of the first chapter with intro and backdrop, whole pages filled with fan art of this very book on DeviantArt etc. etc. Hell, just look at the ratings on Amazon for it. Even Barnes and Noble along with the BBC thought it worthy of putting it, along with “Remembrance of the Daleks” from the Classic era into their ‘bonded-leather binding, with distinctive gilt edging and an attractive silk-ribbon bookmark’. One thing I do take issue with is where it says that on Amazon that it offers…. “…hours of pleasure to readers young and old…” Ahhh, no. “Prisoner…” is most definitely NOT for the young reader. It is one of the most, if not THE most adult DW book I have ever read and I have read 95% of the reboots novels. At times it is downright brutal. There is no other book where a scene like this is featured…. (He is dragged into a room and forced to stand against a metal wall where he is bound to it via tight clamps around his ankles and wrists. Then something is clamped to his head with hundreds of fine needles pricked his scalp.) “I AM DALEK X’ ‘Can’t say I’m pleased to meet you, sorry’ ‘YOU ARE ATTACHED TO A DALEK MIND PROBE. IT HAS BEEN CALIBRATED TO YOUR SPECIFIC BRAINWAVE FREQUENCY.’ ‘You won’t get anything out of me’ the Doctor blurted. ‘THAT IS NOT THE INTENTION’ replied Dalek X. ‘YET.’ ‘I INTEND TO MEASURE YOUR CAPACITY FOR PHYSICAL PAIN’ said Dalek X ‘Oh. Why?’ ‘BECAUSE I WISH TO.’ Suffice it to say that what they do to him is written pretty graphically and is even hard to re-type. There is one part, however, I do like which comes after the second time (in a row, btw) they torture him that I think sums up 10 pretty well, “His brain felt like it was about to burst, but when the torment ended the Doctor found himself laughing. “That’s it, isn’t it?” he panted, his breath ragged and thin. “Your losing!” It’s the laughter that makes the scene so surprising and makes it uniquely Ten. There they are, my least favorite and my best. What do you think? Which are yours?

#doctor who novels tenth doctor stories DW novels

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jojotier · 5 years

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lil masterpost of some of my favorite golden trio interactions that ive written vfkjv

seriously if you’re a fic writer and you haven’t tried to write these three interacting, I suggest you try. at least once. Seriously, writing them always leaves a smile on my face...

Some more that were so long that I decided to like, at least put it under the cut to save everyone the space and breathing room:

“He’s a cute guy- always wondered what it’d have been like to meet him, you know, take him out somewhere fancy…” Shiraishi wiggled his eyebrows and Asirpa nigh instantaneously appeared to smack him over his bald head with a wooden spoon. “Hey-! What’d I say?!”

“Don’t be weird, Shiraishi!” Asirpa huffed, wagging the spoon in her hand. “Or else we’re going to have to crack your egg head over a pot and have you for breakfast!”

Shiraishi whined, “Mannnn why are you two always bullying me?! I’m the oldest! If anyone should be bullying anyone, it should be me bullying someone!!”

“But you won’t! Because you know what’s good for you,” Sugimoto teased, pouring himself and Shiraishi a cup of coffee.

Asirpa said from her place beside Shiraishi, “Pour me a cup too! Black, please.”

Sugimoto felt a sudden, terrified shiver run down his spine. “... Are you sure about that, Asirpa? That’s… this is a really bitter brand, so-”

“Black,” Asirpa repeated, slowly raising her spoon. She tapped it on her other hand, eyes blazing. Sugimoto felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. “What is it, Sugimoto? Do you not think I can handle it, Sugimoto? Do you think I’m too much of a child? Sugimoto? Well? Are you saying little Asirpa is too much of a baby to handle coffee in its natural state? Sugimoto, are you saying-”

“Alright, alright! I’m pouring you some now…” Sugimoto said, pouring her some of the coffee while trying to bite back a laugh.

Shiraishi’s eyes widened in vague awe. “Man… black? I thought you’ve never had coffee before,”

“That’s because I never have.” Asirpa nodded, moving back to the little kitchenette to take the cup from Sugimoto. “ Huci never bought it much, and my aca used to say that it was too weak to even bother with. Watching you two load it down with sugar and cream, and knowing Sugimoto has a weak tongue-”

“Hey-!” Sugimoto said, slightly offended.

“- I’ve decided that it can’t be bitter at all. You’re both just weak.” Asirpa declared, before taking a giant, ill-advised gulp of her coffee. Shiraishi started to say something, but it caught in his throat, leaving him to just make a weird noise like a dying whale. Asirpa stood stock still for a second, black coffee dripping a little onto the corner of her mouth, as she took a shaky swallow. She looked up at Sugimoto, tears in her slightly squinted eyes as she tried to give a smile that didn’t look like she was in immense pain. “S. See. Not. Bitter at all,”

Sugimoto bust out laughing, trying to rein it in a bit because maybe it was a bit of an asshole thing, to laugh at a kid, but even still… it was pretty hilarious. “Really! Really now! I see that face you’re making- you think its as bitter as we do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!” Shiraishi joined in, laughing a bit himself.

“Do not- look,” Then Asirpa, face flushing, tried to drink the rest in a few fell gulps. A little bit of the hot, bitter drink dribbled down her chin and onto her shirt as she finished, looking like she was regretting pretty much all of her life choices. Asirpa made a face and squinted, sticking out her tongue. “Ugh… I think I burned my tongue….”

“... So it’s an ugly thing that’s a pile of junk, is what you’re saying,” Shiraishi snickered a bit. “So antiquated that not even JAXA wants to knock this thing into the gravity and get it down out of this airspace!”

Asirpa’s cheeks puffed out slightly in disdain. “... I’m not giving that a response. This is still neat!!! You just have no taste.”

“Oh no, yeah, it’s pretty neat,” Shiraishi ceded, glancing back out at the station. He snickered under his breath some more. “Lots of historical significance, probably… looks like an old-timey soup can.”

Sugimoto snorted at that, a wide grin splitting over his face. “Come on, that’s mean. It looks like a tin bucket from one of those cowboy movies, at least- the ones that hold all the bullets.”

“Those buckets aren’t historically accurate- bullets weren’t really that big…” Asirpa corrected, tapping at her watch’s interface. Then, her head dipped down a bit, what stray hairs that remained free from her braid falling in her face as she bit her lip, looking absolutely goofy. “... Looks kind of like a big asinru, though…”

“Hey, look!!! Sugimoto look!!” Shiraishi leaned forward, hands gripping on the railing and feet braced against it as his face lit up. “She talks so big but she thinks that ship looks funny too!”

“It’s your fault!” Asirpa uselessly tossed one of the plastic maps at Shiraishi. It went like five centimeters, and then uselessly fwumped onto the ground with a weird sound, not unlike the sound one got when shaking out a laminated paper. Asirpa chose to ignore that. “You have me thinking of tin can shaped things-!!” Shiraishi started laughing, chest shaking a bit as his grip tightened on the railing.

Sugimoto snickered a bit, eyes crinkling at the corners, “Last I checked, only you can have yourself thinking things.”

Asirpa tried to toss a map at Sugimoto, throwing it like a frisbee to see if that would get any lift. No dice. It went an even closer distance and fluttered uselessly down, sliding away from Sugimoto entirely. Shiraishi guffawed, and before Asirpa could open her mouth, there was a solid thunk. Shiraishi yelped as he hit the ground, still slightly red-faced from laughing. He’d fallen off. Sugimoto gave a hearty laugh at that.

“See,” Asirpa said, looking at Shiraishi, “this is what you get. Karma.”

Shiraishi whined, rolling over onto his back with a pout. “Let’s just get this trespassing over with…” Both Sugimoto and Asirpa giggled a bit together.

“Well, we figured since it was New Years, it’d be nice to drop by-” Sugimoto started to say before being slightly tilted off balance, shoved vaguely to the side. A second face appeared, slightly lower than Sugimoto’s face and flushed lightly. The smell of sake on this stranger’s breath nearly made Tsukishima recoil, knuckles turning white as his free hand clenched into a fist.

“Heyyyyy, Tsukihime-san!” The bald stranger grinned, head seeming to bob from side to side. “It’s so good t’ see you- great to meetcha, I’m Shiraishi Yoshitake-”

“Where’s the dog.” came a third voice, and soon a third face, belonging to a girl much shorter and younger than the two above her, peered into the gap.

“Asirpa, please,” Sugimoto laughed a little, trying to hide the smile behind his hand, “don’t make it look like that’s the only reason-!”

“But you said yourself that you wanted to pet the dog, Sugimoto,” Asirpa’s eyebrows rose as she tipped her head back, staring at the scarred man in the door.

“Well-!” Sugimoto’s face flushed a bit as well, giving a bit of a sheepish look. “I also wanted to say hi to the owner, of the dog.”

Tsukishima glanced over the three of them. It was unlikely that Sugimoto had ill intent, bringing both a drunk and a pre-teen along with him. He kept his pocket knife in his pocket and opened the door just a bit wider, looking to his impromptu guests and remembering Nugget in the living room, whining underneath the table. “Sorry. My dog doesn’t like being around a lot of people- he’s easily spooked.”

“The dog or you?” Shiraishi snickered a bit, seemingly trying to peer over Tsukishima’s shoulder into the apartment. Tsukishima reconsidered not thinking about the merits of “accidental” greeting stabs in the future. Except there wouldn’t be a future, because Tsukishima didn’t want to deal with visitors. “Noah Fence, dude, but you’re like- this super hermit! I don’t think anyone’seen you outside this apartment... Tha’s what I heard from other people-”

The girl, Asirpa, turned around and kicked Shiraishi in the shins. Sugimoto followed suit, smacking Shiraishi upside the head while glaring at him. Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as he went to close the door anyway. “Good night, Sugimoto. Asirpa.”

“Wait! Wait,” Sugimoto shoved his hand in the door hastily, trying to fold in on himself so he could hold up a package wrapped in paper the same shade of blue and white that the headband that Asirpa wore was. Of course, the designs were much different, looking more like silver leaves and boars. That’s right- it was the year of the boar soon, wasn’t it?

“We made too much mochi and yokan,” Asirpa explained, peering up at Tsukishima.

“Awww, but Asirpa~” Sugimoto gave a mock pitiful whine, pushing his lower lip out like a child. “How am I gonna give miso to Huci to go with the feast?”

“We don’t need any of your poop near our shit,” Asirpa said, turning up her nose. At that, Shiraishi lost it and rolled onto his side, chortling the entire while.

Sugimoto gave a delicate gasp. “Asirpa, language! Who taught you to say that? Did Shiraishi here rub off on you,”

“I taught myself to say it,” Asirpa stuck out her tongue, but she knew no one was being serious about it. Sugimoto wasn’t the type of person to become faint just because someone younger than him said something mildly uncouth, as she’d done many times before. Sugimoto chuckled himself, a wider grin breaking out over his face.

Soon, the laughter died down again, and Sugimoto rested his cheek harder against his hand. It wasn’t nearly as cold and oppressive as before- but there was still an odd undertone, to the quiet that surrounded them. Something left unsaid.

“Man.” Sugimoto sighed, looking wistfully at the fire, “I wish I still had my miso. We could’ve used it with dinner earlier.”

It was quiet for a few seconds more before Asirpa suddenly remembered- in her coat… She didn’t remember if she’d used the last of it before, in the meal they had outside this place, but she still reached into an innermost pocket and pulled out the small metal tin. Shuffling around to Sugimoto, she presented it to him and opened the lid, showing just the smallest trace of brown miso in a corner.

Sugimoto’s eyes widened, a happy smile coming onto his face. “Oh man-! You did keep it! I would’ve thought for sure you were gonna use it as anosoma box or something, for anything you find-”

“Oh come on, that’s so gross!” Asirpa felt her eyes burn at the mere thought of it. Or maybe they burned because she was squinting so hard it looked as if her eyes had receded back into her face flesh. Sugimoto snorted, trying to keep his giggles in as Asirpa silently worked through how to even respond to that. After a moment, her face loosened back into a more contemplative expression.

“... Besides. You liked it so much that you would try to make my poor old Huci try it- so we had to keep it for when you came back.”

#golden kamuy #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #shiraishi yoshitake #gk #crying in the club i just!!! love them!!!!!!

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hogwartswelcomesyou · 6 years

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Hi, I wanted to check out the Sortings for the Baudelaires but it directed me to Glee. Also, could you please sort the Disney Princes or the characters of Once Upon A Time?

The Prince - Hufflepuff

Snow White’s prince is a dainty man, he sings to woo his lady, he feels careful about scaring her and won’t overstep his boundaries. He feels loyalty to her to save her at the end of her film with a gentle kiss before he returns to mourning her with the rest of the dwarves, only to realize HE is the one who has saved her. He’s patient with her and knows Snow will be ready for him at a later date, and is willing to wait to see her again, he’s kind enough to duet with her and not overshadow her lovely voice and he also accepts Snow entirely, for who she is.

Prince Charming - Hufflepuff

Charming is truly a Prince, in a stereotypical way. He goes to lavish balls, lives in a grand palace and yawns at all the beautiful women put before him because he can see they aren’t the right woman for him (though yawning is a little rude, dude). But he’s humble enough to fall for the woman who gets lost, is late, has no title and who shows him kindness at the first glance. He shows the dedication to find his dream runaway girl, and also keeps his promise to marry her. He’s patient, in his wait (as it could have been anything from 24 hours to find her to weeks!) and values are his new wife’s previous life of hard work, patience, and loyalty to her abusive family. And Hufflepuff’s are very good finders, after all! He just needs a better memory and to ask for names before you start dancing!

Prince Phillip - Gryffindor

Phillip I think, is a cookie cutter Gryffindor. Honestly who else would randomly start singing and dancing with someone in the middle of the forest? You have to have real guts to go up to a true stranger, and attempt to woo them! He will do anything for the love he feels for the ‘peasant girl’, knowing he’s meant to be betrothed to the princess, and is willing to defy his royal duty and father’s orders to do what he wants with his life. The prince also escaped a castle, cut down countless thorns and brambles, battled a dragon, defied Maleficent and that is brave, reckless and chivalrous to no end. He doesn’t even come up with a plan! For being a true old timey prince I sort Philip into Gryffindor!

Prince Eric - Hufflepuff

Prince Eric isn’t exactly an easy sort, but I have to go with Hufflepuff. Prince Eric is kind to every person he meets, but he is sort of oblivious to when others need him. Eric enjoys the little things in life; a day on a boat, a pretty girl, and a big castle. The problem with Eric is though he does have loyalty, it sometimes isn’t the loyalty others expect. He has to be a Hufflepuff!

Beast - Gryffindor

Beast is Gryffindor™. He’s arrogant, thinks he’s the one in the right and boy what a temper. But as the story progresses we can see chivalry ranks high on his list of virtues. Along with being self-sacrificing and being willing to do just about anything for Belle, he is incredibly reckless and daring. I mean who fights without thinking on a roof? And as a chivalrous act, I present to you, letting Gaston live even if the guy was a prick. For his daring, nerve and chivalry I sort Beast into Gryffindor!

Aladdin - Slytherin

The diamond in the rough. This little thief belongs in Slytherin and that is that. From a young age, Aladdin learned that in order to survive he has to do everything he can. And for stealing in a place like the market of Agrabah? You need to be as cunning and sly as can be. If he was caught the guards would cut off his hands. Al has wanted to live in the palace and he was sure that someday he will. That ambition. You can see his cunning and manipulative nature in many examples. The best two are the time he first meets Genie and cons him into saving them all from the Cave of Wonders, without using a wish. And the second instance was when he convinced Jafar to wish himself to become a genie. That was the only way Aladdin could defeat him. Because phenomenal cosmic powers resulted in an itty bitty tiny space. At the end of the movie, it was shown that Genie wanted Al to wish to become a prince again, but Aladdin made a promise to use the last wish to free his friend. That determination to keep a promise strikes me like something a Slytherin would do. While he used all the means necessary to get where he wanted to be, he gave his word and he would rather find another way than go back on his word. After all this and more I sort Laddi into Slytherin.

John Smith - Ravenclaw / Gryffindor

Ravenclaw: John Smith is the ultimate stud of his group of men, everyone knows that when John does something it is the right thing. Despite John’s undeniable bravery, his other qualities are what leads him. When John first meets Pocahontas, instead of shooting her like he normally, it is his job. John lets his curiosity get the best of him, and stop him from doing his job. John Smith is intelligent, and know’s that if he gets his men to see that Pocahontas’ people mean the best and that John’s people also mean the best, other than the governor. His Ravenclaw(ness) is truly proven when he takes the shot for Pocahontas’ dad. John Smith knew that Pocahontas would never be able to truly fall in love with him unless she had her fathers blessing. He also knew that Pocahontas’ father had found a way to make this work, and had been extremely kind to him. John also knew that Pocahontas’ dad would never survive if he stayed, and he would never leave. John Smith could survive a shot, but other’s could not. Ultimately John uses his curiosity, creativity, and intelligence to help him make the decisions he does. -Abigail

Gryffindor: John has no desire to learn, he’s in it for the money and the glory! He is in it for the adventure he’ll have, and to be the courageous first person to find the ‘savages’ and kill one, not to learn about his new environment. He breaks the rules that are meant to keep him safe at night (no Ravenclaw would break logical rules in such a rash way, at least they’d take another person with them) to be a badass, for the sake of it, and he finds it immensely difficult to accept a talking tree and that he could love someone who isn’t from England, while a Ravenclaw could use creativity and logic to realise that he’s just trying to comprehend something else. -Star

Li Shang -Ravenclaw

Li Shang is an icon, following in his father’s footsteps. For me, Shang’s defining moment is when despite the guidance of others, he decides to let Mulan survive. The decision is logical, she saved my life, it doesn’t matter if she is a woman, she saved my life, I’ll save hers. Though Shang showed an increment of kindness to Mulan by letting her survive, he doesn’t treat her with kindness again until he realises her immense intelligence and that she had been telling the truth. Shang is logical and very wise making him a Ravenclaw!

Prince Naveen - Slytherin

Another Prince™. Naveen has had his life handed to him on a silver platter all his life, and he’s never learned to chop vegetables or gain any real-life skills. I mean, it’s all well and good to play guitar, but when you’re a prince, I imagine they likely expect more of you than that. He’s ambitious, to want to be a guitar player (that doesn’t come easy!) , he is resourceful, in using his charm to convince Tiana to kiss him, knowing it is likely the only way he’ll get a kiss and a chance at his old life back, which also shows his cunning. To impress his love, he also learns to mince, even though he finds it difficult at first, which shows off his determination at doing what he wants if he puts his mind to it, and he wants to look after himself first. He lied to Tiana about having oodles of cash to save her restaurant, just to protect himself and turn himself human again, so he could go after his dream life with very little regard for what Tiana wanted.

Eugene Fitzherbert -Slytherin

Eugene/Flynn is truly a well-written dude, he’s sly, cunning, charming, daring, chivalrous, witty, AND lives to serve himself. His Slytherin traits though are his defining ones, being his resourcefulness in doing what Blondie wanted in order to get what he wanted, later on, his ambition is wanting to live somewhere am sunny, tanned, rested and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of money, which, same. He knows what he wants and he’ll do ALMOST anything to do it, so long as it doesn’t hurt him, which is where the self-preservation comes in. He only really changes his viewpoint on the world after he gets to know Rapunzel, but it only shifts a little, and he then views himself and Rapunzel as his little group, and the changes from protecting only himself to protecting their little bubble, which shows how he values fraternity as well, though it does take a little while to show it.

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siphen0 · 5 years

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“Hell No, Dolly!” is an interesting episode for the Legends of Tomorrow. While other shows are preparing for their Elseworlds crossover, this episode serves as the first episode of a two-part midseason finale. This week’s episode shakes things up with the Legends traveling to old-timey New Orleans, on the hunt for a magical fugitive who appears to be able to possess dolls. I think it was about time we jumped into that weird territory.

Normally for a show like this, I might say that it is too convenient this season the way that the Legends have been stumbling upon their latest fugitive. With the anachronisms, it was a simple matter of choice depending on which one was affecting time and space more than the others. However, now it is usually the first thing they pick up from something changed that doesn’t make sense. It was refreshing that we could use Ava more in noticing these discrepancies with history. That aside, the shenanigans that the Legends got themselves into this week was priceless. They embrace the ridiculous and just have fun with the things that make their time on this ship worthwhile. It was interesting how this would lead to Ava and Rory at odds. Ava fits in more and more each week for the way that she clashes with everything she isn’t used to. The risks, the rules, the consequences, its humorous to have someone to work with who takes these things seriously when everyone else does not.

Old-timey New Orleans was an interesting destination. There was some nice costumes, the settings were accurate, but it was nothing too standout in contrast to previous points in time. I wouldn’t say this was a negative, but it could be easy for a viewer to be disappointed by the lack of exploration.

Where they made up for the lack of time spent in New Orleans was the kind of danger the Legends faced from this fugitive. There was no telling exactly what we were bracing for from this fugitive who can possess dolls. I was definitely thinking of something more in line with puppeteering, though it was much better that this turned into a Chuckie-like scenario. This series is well-known for some notable references, and this was one of them undeniably. If it wasn’t the terrifying nature of this fugitive, it was the way that the team reacted to what it is capable of. They’ll never convince me that a simple puppet can create as much of a problem as it did for the Legends, but you can’t argue with the idea of fighting something that defies the rules of engagement for inanimate objects. Everything about this encounter so far has been scenes plucked right out of your average horror movie.

Another week for John Constantine facing some of the troubles that come with stepping into familiar territory. While he has his own storyline at a slow crawl, there was plenty of other ways to shake up his experience in contrast to the others. The first time was personal, but this time a little more than you would expect when confronting his tragic past. I think most fans of Constantine will appreciate the best of both worlds that were given here. We got to explore more of his affectionate side, and at the same time found ourselves able to get an example from this show as to what it means to get caught up in his orbit. In other words, what it means to become another casualty from those he crosses. These devastating consequences for the rest of the team could have been more of the usual for Constantine, but what this actually led to was jaw-dropping. It was in that moment where you could piece together why this was more of a two-part episode. What also stood out here was the way that Zari and Charlie connected to Constantine through his meddling with time. While Ava has been the buzzkill for the way that she enforces the rules, Zari plays a captivating role as the person who knows how to appeal to the part of you that has to confront the dangers of stepping on butterflies.

It was nice to have Gary back this time around. For a second I was almost thinking that they were using Mona as a way of replacing him. Not that that would be a bad thing, but it also would disappoint many who might be split on who they like more. Their quirkiness are both unique and complimentary. With that said, I’m still getting used to more of these episodes splitting the story between the Legends and what goes on in the Time Bureau. It was bolder that there was a separate thing going on for both Gary and Mona. Leaning towards Mona was wise since she still had a role to sink into. Some things were predictable based on her personality, but other developments were refreshing for the fact that Mona really lets her emotions take the wheel. Her connection to magic creatures is something to take notice of for the engagement that is more genuine than hostile.

At the end of the day, DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow “Hell No, Dolly!” was a wild ride for the craziness these characters get themselves into. Every action has a response, and there was no better time to emphasize where things can go wrong without consideration. I look forward to seeing where the direction of this season might shift after the actual midseason finale next week.

DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow “Hell No, Dolly!” Review "Hell No, Dolly!" is an interesting episode for the Legends of Tomorrow. While other shows are preparing for their Elseworlds crossover, this episode serves as the first episode of a two-part midseason finale.

#Comics #DC Comics #DC&039;s Legends of Tomorrow #DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow "Hell No Dolly!"#Legends of Tomorrow #spotlight #The CW #tv #tv review

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ayearofpike · 6 years

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Spooksville #16: Time Terror

Pocket Books, 1997 113 pages, 12 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-00264-3 LOC: CPB Box no. 257 vol. 26 OCLC: 36777822 Released May 1, 1997 (per B&N)

The robot toy in the alley behind the movie theater looks too awesome to leave alone. But when the Spook Squad starts messing with it, they find themselves back in the earliest days of the town. Luckily, they make it back home without any ill effects, but the curiosity of learning what this place is and why proves too much to not go back again. Of course, they can’t get lucky twice, and everything they see and everyone they talk to just ends up making their situation worse or weirder.

Quick metadiscourse: While doing research on Spooksville, I learned that only the first twelve books were republished to coincide with the TV series. This makes me wonder: do I need to also read the new versions of these if I’m trying to be a completist? I’m not going to worry too much about it right now, but maybe when I get to the end I’ll revisit them in a single post, as is my plan for the reprints of early Scholastic/Archway stuff.

On to Time Terror! It starts out a lot more straight-forward than we’ve come to expect from Spooksville, which has been hurling us into multiple twisted paths for the main characters pretty much right away. (Hey, when a book has to stay under 120 pages, he needs to start without preamble.) But here, the kids go to a movie and then find a robot clock in the alley behind the theater. They fiddle with it, and it unexpectedly sends them back in time, to the early foundational days of Spooksville. Watch figures out how to set it to send them back home before they can go mucking things up, and they agree that Sally should hide it in her garage so nobody else inadvertently finds it. That’s the first three chapters.

But if you know Sally (and by now you should) you ought to expect her to not leave well enough alone, despite her highly developed sense of impending doom. She gets the robot out, but before she can do anything with it Adam is there. It seems he didn’t trust her to leave it alone, and obviously he was right. But he’s a curious SOB too, and so Sally convinces him that they can finally learn why Spooksville is the way it is, if they can get back to exactly the same time they went to earlier. Of course, her house is in a different place, and they don’t quite set the clock the same way, so they materialize in the middle of a group of people who — guess what — take them for witches and imprison them alongside Madeline Templeton, who is slated to be burned at the stake that evening.

Cindy learns about this from Adam’s dad. Well, not THIS this, but he calls to ask if Adam is still hanging out with her, because he hasn’t come home yet. She calls Watch, who immediately knows that Adam must have been checking on Sally because he was tempted to do the same thing. They pick up Bryce and head over to Sally’s, where they find the robot in the middle of the garage rather than in its hiding place. As they argue about what it might mean, Bryce ... disappears. So do Watch’s glasses and watches and Cindy’s long blonde hair. But ... what’s the problem? Watch never wore glasses or four watches. (But then why is his name still fucking WATCH?) Cindy always had red hair. They came to Sally’s just the two of them; there wasn’t another guy in the group.

But their uneasiness about this situation is enough to make them realize that Adam and Sally must have gone back and changed something to make them unsure about what, to them, has always been the status quo. So they fiddle with the robot clock and end up ... in the far future, somehow. Watch must have fucked up. Lucky for them, a kid shows up and praises how they’re dressed as the Legendary Heroes, to get the full experience of attending the Spooksville City Museum. He’s been studying the Heroes and how they defeated so many deadly evils and terrors, so for today, his twelfth birthday, he wanted to experience the museum first-hand. Of course, all the adventures have been documented, so he knows all about the robot clock (or, as it’s been described in Cindy’s diary, the Time Terror) and how it works. So Cindy and Watch really have no choice but to commandeer the kid’s knowledge to get themselves back to wherever Adam and Sally are trapped.

(The kid’s name? Tweek.)

(I swear to fucking God.)

The future kids’ arrival in Old-Timey Spooksville (where, for some reason, everyone has British names in eighteenth-century California; thanks, white colonialism) distracts the lynch mob just as they’re lighting the fire to burn the three witches. Only the judge or governor or whoever he is sticks around, but obviously he’s powerless to prevent Madeline Templeton from freeing herself and the two kids, who she understands in her mystical wisdom to be friendly with her future descendant. He does try to go after the weakest one himself to save a little face (in this case, Sally, who’s struggling with smoke inhalation), but the witch trips him, which causes him to fall on his own sword. And that is the end of Jeff Poole.

Poole. Oh. Oh shit.

After a quick detour to primordial Spooksville, Adam realizes his mistake and figures out the time robot through trial and error. They go home for his laser gun and then back to Old-Timey Spooksville, where the future kids have been tied to the same stakes to burn. Adam starts zapping dudes with the stun beam while Sally unties the others, and they all run for the witch’s castle to regroup and figure out what the hell to do. If Governor Poole were rendered unconscious before Madeline Templeton freed herself, they’re convinced, she wouldn’t have attacked him at all, so he’d live to sire the line up to Bryce. So Adam goes back to just before they escape but just AFTER the mob goes to hunt Watch and Cindy, zaps the governor with the stun beam, and then comes back.

Where Bryce is, having would-have come with Watch and Cindy on their original journey through time. (Hey, YOU figure out the verb tense there.) But he’s ... different. Stupid. Maybe mentally handicapped. We don’t, after all, really know what effect the stun beam has on human physiology. It’s probable that Adam inadvertently changed the ancestor’s genetic structure, which then refined its way down to Bryce mumbling about toy trucks and licking his palms. AND Watch can still see, AND they’re stuck in this castle which is under an attack not noted in the history books, which is SURELY gonna fuck something else up. Will Tweek ever get back home to finish celebrating his birthday?

There’s only one way to solve this problem once and for all. One of them has to go back (or rather, ahead) to just before they found the Time Terror and hide it. That way, they never touch it, they never go back to the past, they never change the way history is composed, and they all stay the same. But what does that mean for the person who does it? They’re a time-shifted variant of themselves existing in the same time, and if they ever cross paths with themselves it might be disastrous to the world. So Watch volunteers. He’s always been alone, he’s prepared to strike out on his own and not rely on his past, and besides he called it.

So when the Spook Squad comes out of the movie theater this time, there’s nothing on the ground, even though they oddly expect something to be. Watch most of all — he’s having the weirdest case of deja vu. But they shake it off and continue on their merry way, oblivious to the strange kid hiding in the darkness bidding them farewell.

Just like in all time travel stories, there are a lot of unanswered questions about causality and paradoxes and whatnot. But honestly, I feel like Pike has done the best he could with the space available and the expectations of the audience and genre. It’s certainly a more complicated story than you’d expect to find in a junior-grade horror series book, and we can move forward without being too frustrated or confused by what it signifies. I’m assuming Future-Watch is gone forever? But then again, I thought Tira was gonna be in this one too. Let’s just keep plugging along without expectations. It’s safer.

#spookstober #spooksville

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