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#and share this post and/or the survey link with anyone you know who might be a good fit
homosociallyyours · 5 months
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This is a post for one of my best friends who's been going through a lot for the past few years. I'll go into more details below, but here's the heart of the matter: My friend has a serious auto-immune condition resulting from the long term after effects of cancer treatments (worsened now by the addition of long COVID to her long list of diagnoses). Over the past few years, she's gotten sicker and sicker and has been forced to change her diet from a vegetarian anti-cancer diet (she's a breast cancer survivor, and fought HARD for her health) to one that's become more and more limited as her body becomes allergic to every food one by one. She's now reached a point where one of the last 2 foods that she was able to eat safely, chicken, is causing an allergic reaction; she has to eat it anyway to survive, so is now very sick all the time.
What can you do?
One of the last hopes that she has to turn things around is something called a fecal microbiome transplant, which has worked miracles for other people with similar issues, but cannot currently be accessed through medical channels in the US for any but one (unrelated) condition. It's really easy to do as a DIY treatment though, it's just hard to find a donor: so we are putting it out there to see if one of you might be able and willing to be that person, or know someone who could do it.
Here is what she has to say about the ask:
Finding the right person to do this is difficult, but actually doing the helping is extremely easy and quick if someone was that person! If you live in the continental US and are fortunate enough to have both physical and mental good health (or know someone or have a child who fit the criteria) and are willing, you might be able to change my life! Please consider clicking through to read more and maybe even come aboard...  (For clarity: this isn't a medical procedure or anything, it is literally just donating poop, there are a few specifics but it is very much from the comfort of your home on your own time.)
You can click here to fill out a google form to see if you might be able to be a donor. The questionaire is detailed: fecal transplant is a bizarre and magical thing in which the patient sometimes can even end up acquiring personal preferences from the donor- the gut microbiome (sometimes called the second brain) is incredible! But this means that any illness, chronic issues, or risk factors you carry may also be transferred to the recipient so while it may feel invasive, getting detailed info in very necessary; I am just too sick already to take on any more problems.
A note- yes, it is possible to buy screened and processed treatments even in the US: unfortunately the cost (~$2k per round of treatment) is way outside my reach, particularly given that it isn't really any better than just getting poop directly from a good candidate (proven via studies), and that often it takes trying a couple donors/ rounds to find a match that gets results. If anyone wants to just buy me that stuff, I sure wouldn't say no to that, but given the severity of my situation (medical and financial; I cannot work due to disability) it is likely I will need to do medical fundraising at some point and I am trying to save that for an even worse point. Also if you have that kind of money to help out honestly it would be better spent on specialists or my astronomical food costs. I will cover all costs associated with this process if I find someone though, of course!
Thank you for reading/boosting/etc, please consider sending the link to possible healthy friends or family who might be a fit, or consider whether you have a child fitting the bill you might be willing to enlist- young microbiomes are the best ones, as children's systems have had less time to be ravaged by the effects of the modern world or the simple deterioration of age.
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lingthusiasm · 1 year
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Lingthusiasm sixth anniversary: help share the show and do our listener survey!
Lingthusiasm is turning six! 
In celebration of our sixth anniversary this November, we’re asking you to help introduce the show to people who would be totally into a linguistics podcast, if only they knew it existed! Lingthusiasm is a great fit for anyone in your life who is curious about language or who likes hearing ad-free conversational deep-dives into hidden patterns in the world around us from people who are extremely invested in articulating why it’s so cool.
Your recommendations really do work (we see it in the stats!), whether it’s a shoutout on social media, sending a personal message to a friend, or sharing the RSS feed with your cool aunt.
We also love being recommended as guests on your (other) favourite podcasts! Every podcast is in a language, and we love chatting about the link between linguistics and your other favourite topics (we’ve done linguistics and science fiction/roleplaying games, linguistics and conlanging, linguistics in romance novels, linguistics and mythology, and more!). 
Trying to figure out what to say about Lingthusiasm? Here are some ideas:  
What’s Lingthusiasm like?
Ever find yourself distracted from what someone is saying by wondering about how they say it? Lingthusiasm is a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics as a way of understanding the world around us.
From languages around the world to our favourite linguistics memes, Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne bring you into a lively half hour conversation on the third Thursday of every month about the hidden linguistic patterns that you didn’t realize you were already making.
“Lauren and Gretchen know their stuff, have an easy rapport, and are skilled at pitching linguistic concepts to a general audience.” —Sentence First
“Joyously nerdy.” —BuzzFeed
“I checked out Lingthusiasm by playing a random episode and it was funny and fascinating and educational AND it had a shout out to Dinosaur Comics!” —Ryan North
Which episode should I start with?
You can start listening to Lingthusiasm anywhere! See what grabs your attention from this list of episodes that came out this year:
The linguistic map is not the linguistic territory (transcript)
What If Linguistics - Absurd Hypothetical Questions with Randall Munroe of xkcd (transcript)
Various vocal fold vibes (transcript)
Language in the brain - Interview with Ev Fedorenko (transcript)
What we can, must, and should say about modals (transcript)
Tea and skyscrapers - When words get borrowed across languages (transcript)
What it means for a language to be official (transcript)
Word order, we love (transcript)
Knowledge is power, copulas are fun (transcript)
Making speech visible with spectrograms (transcript)
Where to get your English etymologies (transcript)
Share your enthusiasm with us, 2022 listener survey
We're also doing a listener/reader survey for the first time to celebrate our anniversary this year! This is your chance to tell us what you're into on Lingthusiasm, what we could do more of, suggest topics and guests for future episodes, and also answer some fun linguistics experiment questions, which we might write up into an Official Academic Paper someday! (And either way, we'll report back on the results.) The survey is online, and will take 5-30 minutes (depending on how much you want to tell us in the open text boxes).
bit.ly/lingthusiasmsurvey22
This survey is being conducted by Lingthusiasm in conjunction with La Trobe University (Ethics approval HEC22181). Thanks to La Trobe for the support to collect data that we can share with Lingthusiasm listeners and academic audiences. More information can be found in the Participant Informed Consent Form before the survey starts.
Journey back through time to previous anniversary posts
Fifth anniversary post
Fourth anniversary post
Third anniversary post
Second anniversary post 
First anniversary post
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scarves-and-coffee · 2 years
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Scarves & Coffee Survey Results
Thank you very much to everyone that filled out the survey from last month! I truly appreciate each and every one of you sharing your thoughts on the site.
I wanted to go over most of the responses (some were redundant/already discussed) and respond to those publicly so you all know what's going on and what the future has in store for S&C (and maybe even field some more insight). Responses are under the cut:
Are there any changes or updates you would like to see to current features on Scarves & Coffee?
Currently the "Categories" available seem really limited - while posting things I noticed there were no options for historical, alternate meeting, canon compliant, or other common tropes. Also, the way of selecting categories and characters using the ctrl key is a little clunky and unintuitive.
All of the current categories on the site were directly ported from the original site and haven't really been updated since 2011. If you have any categories you would like to see added, please send in an Ask or reply below. (Though the categories may be split into major categories and tags in the future.) But yes, the form requiring the ctrl key to select multiple categories/characters is super annoying, adding that to the list.
Yes! I would like to see all the fics posted by kudos or most read not only the first ten!
You can sort the entire library by kudos/most read using the Browse Library page. Just click what you want to sort by in the search menu and then press "Search." You don't have to have anything in the Search box to sort/filter entries. The Top Tens page is just a page that was on the original site that showcases the top ten in each category for fun.
Some sort of RSS feed so I can track new stuff posted to the site without having to check ever couple days. The site is currently low traffic so I stopped visiting regularly.
Noted. Email notifications should be coming back soon as well.
What features would you like to see added to Scarves & Coffee? (this can be anything! feel free to request as much as you want, from anything as small as font size buttons on entries to something as ambitious as an archive gallery or forum)
- a similar thing to the *private* bookmark option on ao3 - If it is not already there, a function to DM a writer instead of having to leave a review or manually searching them out on tumblr. - A part of the website specifically designated for anyone to post prompts instead of fics, which works in the same way with the categories etc. A bit like a crossover between a forum and a fic archive. Writers could just browse through lists of prompts and pick whatever tickles their fancy. - Again, if not already present, a dark mode for reading at night, because let's be real here.. Who ever put away a book just because it was bedtime, when they were enjoying themselves?
Private bookmarks have been added to the to-do list. You can DM any user on the site by going to their profile page and clicking the "Message" link in the left sidebar (at the top on mobile). A prompts system is already on the to-do list, but I like the way it's described here. A dark mode for the text section of stories has already been implemented, but a full-site dark mode is on the to-do list.
back dating uploads
I know AO3 allows backdating entries, but I'm not 100% sure if it's a great idea for various reasons. But if many of you are interested in having that ability, I may implement it. If anyone else has an opinion on this, I'd love to hear about it below/in Asks.
Forums or more opportunities for user interactions would be great - I think making it more of a social space for users to post questions/ideas/thoughts about klaine, recommend or discuss fics, and have conversations about related topics would set the site apart from other options for posting fic.
Yes, I agree! I would love to have more interaction options on the site. I do plan on adding in a forum, maybe even a chat and journal posting system as well. These might be a ways away, but they are on the list, I promise.
I would like found the stories which are labelled with the special attention because they are most relevant and people liked these stories so much. A special section.
I think you're referring to some kind of Featured section, which the original S&C did have. I am open to adding that back in, I even have the log of what was originally featured. It has been added to the list.
I would like you to add the options You can save authors or books and also add the option for an author to follow a story abandoned many years ago.
We currently have the option to track/bookmark/give kudos to stories and track authors. But, favoriting for stories and adding them to Lists is on the to-do list.
What do you think would draw more active authors to add to the archive?
- Active partnership/collaboration with things like prompt bangs, the Lima Bean and the Klaine CC library for maximum exposure. - The prompt archive I mentioned previously.
I'm open to working with other Klaine fandom groups and events. I do have a really exciting feature planned that would allow events to be hosted on the site. I can't wait to share it with you all :)
knowing it is up and not going away
I hear you. I'm sure the site going down for over a year damaged some trust in the validity and longevity of separate site archives. However, rest assured that I plan on keeping this site alive as long as I'm here, and have taken measures to ensure that it'll never get lost again. In the event that things do go south (extremely unlikely at this point), the archive will be handed over to AO3's Open Doors project for preservation.
It needs to have elements that make it, in some way or another, equally or more attractive to post on than AO3. Somehow leaning into the Klaine-centric nature of it, or offering user interaction features that don't exist on AO3, might make it a better place to engage with readers about Klaine fic.
I agree. I think the upcoming interaction features I have planned will help with this.
Implementing the Cloudflare security like ff.net. I HATE that I have to authenticate regularly and it often fails.
I'm not sure what you're referring to regarding having to authenticate, and you didn't leave a contact account on the survey so I can't ask you directly about your experience. But I've personally never had an issue with authentication on the site on PC or mobile. The SSL certificate is valid and should show the Secure lock on browsers. If anyone has any more information on this issue or recently experienced anything similar, I'd love to hear about it below, in an Ask, or by message.
As a reader, what would draw you to or prevent you from using Scarves & Coffee?
Tag searching and filtering. The more specific the better, but it should still search for things if you misspell them or if you word your search differently than the popular tag. (Like on ao3)
Yes! I have adding a section for tags on my to-do list that would include blacklisting. However, I can't promise that it would work quite like on AO3, simply because S&C doesn't have a giant team of tag wranglers like AO3 does that allows it to have such a dynamic tagging system. But I'll try to make it as usable as possible.
I can’t find a story that I want to read in that moment easily. It’s difficult sorting stories.
I'm not really sure how to make it more straightforward besides adding a tagging system. There's the Categories page for specific categories and all of the filters on the browsing page. If you or anyone else has specific suggestions or ideas to improve finding stories, let me know.
How would you feel about Scarves & Coffee expanding to include entries from its former sister site, Sebklaine.net? Should they remain separate archives?
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The majority has spoken! Sebklaine and S&C will remain separate archives, but....
Would you be open to Scarves & Coffee being part of a network of separate archives, such that you could use the same account to access each individual archive? Why or why not?
sure
Yes, so long as I can still choose what to share with the world (private bookmarks etc)
yes
I think this is a good compromise - ultimately I feel that they should remain separate, because I think a lot of users strongly feel that they want to see content from certain ships and not others. But having them be closely-connected sister sites in some fashion sounds like a great idea.
It’s easy use the same account!
Look out for some Sebklaine.net and It-Could-Happen.net related news at some point ;)
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Thank you again to everyone that participated. If you missed the survey and would like to share your opinion on any of the questions or responses, feel free to do so in the replies, by sending in an Ask, by messaging ritco, or emailing the site at [email protected].
-admin atlas
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isabellehemlock · 2 years
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Interfaith Fandom Survey Interest Check Update
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ID. A LGBTQ+ inclusive flag that flaps in the wind against a blue colored sky background. END ID.
Hi loves, I’m excited to share that we had over a dozen replies for the anon survey* that was shared in a previous post (that you can read here). And it seems there is enough interest to move forward to the next stage of building a little corner of the internet for an interfaith community of people who are also LGBTQ+!
What happens next
The biggest take away was that people would love resources (ranging from sensitivity to content creation, affirming posts, LGBTQ+ positive theology, courses, and so on), and fandom channels where we can celebrate feeling seen in media. To accomplish this, I’ll be initiating a three step process:
Setting up a tumblr where we can hopefully reach any content creators/fans who would be interested in contributing to a resource doc. As in, you wouldn’t necessarily have to sign up for the server if you’re not interested, but would like to potentially contribute, and/or receive a copy of the doc. The doc would be organized between myself and a mod team, and would be accessible to anyone who would like it (but more of those details once the blog is up).
Assembling the doc would likely be done through a small private server, formulating a short questionnaire/interview that could include, but not limited to, such questions as:
"What are some tropes you have seen in fandom that you feel feed into negative stereotypes about your faith/background?”, “What are some tropes/themes you’d love to see more of in fandom in regards to your faith/background?”, “What are some things that might not seem obvious to a casual reader, but when you spot it you know it was not written by someone of the same background as you?”, “Are there any links to articles, books, courses, that you’d like to share that you feel might be helpful for a content creator to read before trying to write a character that shares the same faith/background as you?”
We would then organize the responses and index it for consumption and send it out to the ether of the internet :)
Having a mod team assembled, and with the help of the community, we would build up the server with pre agreed upon rules, and boundaries, and hopefully expand it to a space where people can share about their experiences, geek out over fandom, and in general not feel like they have to water down a core part of their identity of either/or. *And I would pass along the results of the survey via a spreadsheet to ensure everyone who took the time to share their thoughts would be heard by the mod team
However even though I will be working closely with a mod team to discuss the wording and nuances of the rules, I would like to share some basics of what the server will, and will not, be:
The aim of the server is to be a safe space for those who identify somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum (if you are not CIS gendered and heterosexual and heteroromantic - all three, then we believe you are part of that spectrum. This would include “straight passing” bisexuals, trans, and aspec persons), and who also have a religious affiliation - regardless of practice/community or orthodoxy.
As in, we recognize that some people have a personal relationship with their faith and background, who are seeking community, but might not be currently involved within a community. There are many of us who have not shared one part of our identity in our communities, either in person and/or online and we are seeking others who we can share that complex journey with. However, to honor both digital boundaries, different needs for privacies, and in some cases even safety, we will never push for identifying information. It will be up to each member’s discretion to decide for themselves what they want to divulge about themselves, including but not limited to, their religious affiliation, gender identity and sexual orientation.
The secondary goal, is to be able to geek out over fandom, especially to celebrate representation in media, and when applicable, to share resources with fellow content creators on how to be mindful when it comes to writing characters who are practicing, but also the cultural and ethnic influences, and how to be sensitive to navigating it through the kind of content we want to produce. We do this because we recognize our own biases and prejudices and skewed world lens. We want to approach the subject matter with humility, our common goal will be to honor who we are sharing communal space with, and recognize the person behind the screen. The whole point is to be humble, realize we don't know everything, and at the very least, not be woefully ignorant about the content we produce - to be informed about issues, concerns and inherent biases, all while also celebrating the content we get when sensitivity has been applied to representation.
Finally, many of us, myself included, have suffered from religious trauma, and spiritual abuse, and though we do hope to ensure a safe space, we will also have firm boundaries in regards to hostile language directed at other members. The trauma is not your fault, but the healing is your responsibility, and one stranger on the internet cannot be the stand in for your abuser to project on.
There is a huge difference in practicing how to have hard conversations about interfaith dialogue, unlearning inherent biases/prejudices, and processing trauma through genuine, open communication that we can hopefully develop and take out to the real world - and lashing out at people with unhealed wounds via harassing language. For example, someone saying, “I found this link that discusses inherent biases in regards to Judaism some of you might not be aware of, and I think I would be a good read for those interested.” is way different than, “Anyone who is [ insert any religious affiliation ] is a [ insert a bigoted streotype ].”
We would also have very clear definitions about channel lineups, including a sharing area, where those who would like some comfort and feedback about hard things in regards to their faith/background can be met with understanding but also keeping in mind to keep things within channels for those who would prefer lighter discussions in a the fandom areas.
There will be absolutely no proselytizing, or “jokes” about one religion being “better” than any other - it is a shared space, and though we have chosen our faith because it is what speaks to us and we feel fulfilled by it, it is downright hubris to assume that that must be the case for everyone. There is a beauty in expanding our minds and seeing how differently we all connect with our spiritual practices. That is a beautiful thing, and not a cause for competition, in this space.
Though every effort will be made to account for English not being everyone's first language, that we are limited by text communication and that we want to give the benefit of the doubt first - any form of disparaging blanket statements, harassment, bigotry, racism will be handled swiftly and effectively because there is enough of that in the world and though we cannot change the world, we can, and will, adhere to pre agreed upon rules of conduct within a small digital community.
So for now, bear with me as I reach out to a few people who I think might be interested in helping me mod this project, and I’ll share a link to the blog just as soon as it’s up. Blessings <3
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devil1205 · 2 days
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BEGGING BUSINESS
Before I start this post, I express my gratitude and heartfelt and a BIG THANK YOU to my dearest friend and brother Tarun Rohra for sharing some vital information on the topic. I also Would like to express my thanks to Google for some important data.
Imagine yourself going somewhere and suddenly you approach a beggar and specially a deformed one. Maybe they do not have eyes or a body part is not in functional order. You see that beggar and feel sorry and give some money to the poor beggar and they go away. You might think that you did a great deed by giving some money. Here is the time that you are wrong and there is more than what meets the eye. Your amount of money does not really reach the beggar. In fact it goes to their leader who makes them beg. Sad but true. This begging problem specially in India has taken a shape of professional business.
There is a large syndicate that is operating in quite some parts of India. The ring leader kidnaps children and many times makes them handicapped in many ways and send them to beg and earn. Later when the children go to beg and whatever money they get goes to the ring leader and children get nothing. So the money you think has gone in the hands of a poor beggar has actually been wasted. This was also shown in Danny Boyle's award winning film The Slumdog Millionaire" starring Dev Patel, Irrfan Khan and many more.
At many times Begging is not just limited to money. Many times beggars ask for medicines also. For that they prepare bogus prescriptions and fake patient's name also. This something new I came to know that even for medicines beggars do all this and God knows that the might be doing with the Medicines. Does it reach the required patient?? I really have no clue about this.
Then there is one more scam in the begging business.If the beggars get something to eat like biscuits. After they get biscuits specially the brand new packed ones they give it to shop owners in exchange of money and then with that money they probably buy cheap drugs. Again money wasted indirectly. Above Medicine scam and this biscuit scam information was given to me by my friend Tarun as he has gone through this.
https://pib.gov.in/Pressreleaseshare.aspx?PRID=1781351
The Above link is a survey about the Begging problem in INDIA covering maximum states and Maharashtra is Ranked 27th in this survey.
Since in the start I raised the problems that how this business is going or proceeding. Now anyone who reads this might think that what is the solution to this. i can give an Idea on personal level as to how we can do our part that might just help. The first and the most important step to curb this Begging menace is do not give them a single penny from your side as the reason now is known to many. If any of them cry that they have not eaten for some days buy them some eatables and make them eat in front of your eyes so that you are assured that your money again is not gone in cheap drugs. In Anyway do not give them any amount of money.
In the above survey there were quite few mentions that how NGOS,Government and many bodies are coming ahead with schemes and plans to tackle the Begging problem. Many plans are being formulated for rehabilitation of children involved in begging. The governing authorities will do their work in rehabilitating the beggars but will this Menace of Begging ever get curbed or rather be done with. Will the people involved in this Begging Business ever understand that now their time to stop has come? It is a difficult situation. Even with all facilities or plans we make for them to do better, will they change in future and stop getting involved in this Begging Business.Only time will give the answer.
The END
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moneyallthetime · 7 months
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How To Affiliate marketing for Beginners
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The Ultimate Beginner's Guide to Affiliate Marketing: Your Launchpad to Success! Hello there, my aspiring online gurus! Are you ready to learn the ropes of affiliate marketing? Perfect, because I'm about to give you the lowdown on this exciting venture. Understanding the Magic of Affiliate Marketing Let's kick things off with a fun scenario: You're at a party, and someone compliments your snazzy new shoes. You tell them where you got them, and they rush off to buy a pair. Now, imagine if the shoe store paid you a commission for that referral. That, my friends, is the magic of affiliate marketing in a nutshell! Your First Steps into the World of Affiliate Marketing Starting with affiliate marketing is like taking a plunge into a pool - you've got to dip your toe in somewhere, right? Here are some stepping stones to guide you: - Choose Your Niche: This is your arena, an area you're passionate about and interested in. It could be anything from vegan recipes to vintage timepieces. - Identify Products to Promote: Look for products that align with your niche. Remember, authenticity is key here. - Build Your Platform: This could be a blog, a YouTube channel, a podcast - any platform where you can share content and connect with your audience. - Promote, Promote, Promote: Share your unique affiliate links in your content. When someone makes a purchase using your link, you earn a commission! Making Affiliate Marketing FUN! Remember those school days when learning was fun? That's what you need to do with your content. Make it engaging, relatable, and enjoyable. Use humor, share stories, and most importantly, let your personality shine through. How Much Can you Make From Affiliate Marketing The earning potential in affiliate marketing can vary significantly depending on a variety of factors such as the niche you choose, the products you promote, your marketing strategies, and the amount of time and effort you put into it. As per various sources: - A beginner affiliate marketer might earn $100-$500 per month, while an experienced affiliate marketer could potentially earn substantially more 1. - On a broader scale, around 80% of affiliates earn between $0 and $80,000 per year 2. - Brand-new affiliates with decent website traffic can earn up to $1,000 per month, while super affiliates with a dedicated following can earn considerably more 3. - The commission rates can range from about 5% of the sale to as much as 50% or more with high-ticket affiliate programs 4. - Nine percent of publishers surveyed produced more than $50,000 in affiliate income in 2016 5. These figures suggest that while affiliate marketing can start as a modest income stream, it has the potential to become a lucrative business if effectively managed. It's important to remember that success in affiliate marketing doesn't come overnight. It requires dedication, strategic planning, and continuous learning and optimization. So, how much money you can make from affiliate marketing really depends on your strategy, your commitment, and a bit of luck too! My Secret Weapon: Wealthy Affiliate Now, let's talk about my secret weapon: Wealthy Affiliate. This platform is a treasure trove for anyone looking to make extra money online. It offers comprehensive training, a supportive community, and all the tools you need to succeed in affiliate marketing. The Final Word So there you have it, folks! A beginner's guide to affiliate marketing. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Feel free to share this post with anyone who might find it helpful. Remember, every big journey begins with a small step. Start your affiliate marketing journey today, and who knows? You might just become the next big thing in the online world! In the end, if you're serious about learning affiliate marketing the right way, I strongly recommend checking out my review of Wealthy Affiliate, my #1 recommendation for making money online. This blog post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I'll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps support the blog and allows me to continue to provide free content. I only recommend products that I personally use and genuinely believe could be beneficial for my readers. Thank you for your support! Read the full article
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andymaxwell · 1 year
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How to Build a Coaching Website on WordPress
Let's imagine that you are a potential client who is considering working with a life coach. You zero in on a certain example that strikes your fancy. They delivered a speech at a community center in the area, and their level of expertise, as well as the manner in which they presented it, really blew you away. Then you return home and check out their website, only to discover that it is a complete and utter waste of time. It seems to be ten years behind the times. It causes errors to appear in your browser. 
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How can they be of use to you if they are unable to even put together a website that is passable?
If you're a coach, everything a potential client needs to know about you can be found on your website. If you are unable to create an impressive website, then why should anyone put their faith in you to solve the issues that they are now facing? If you use WordPress, which is one of the most popular systems available today, creating a website for your coaching business won't be difficult at all.
Why Should You Construct Your Coaching Website on WordPress?
Prior to the epidemic, 48 percent of coaches "frequently" engaged in face-to-face interaction with their clients. The trends, however, are beginning to turn around. Around forty percent of all coaches began offering their services solely via the Internet in the year 2020. According to the same numbers, a survey of coaches revealed that 77 percent of all coaches believe the COVID-driven trends will continue for at least one more year. However, it is very simple to talk about an "online pivot" as if it were a switch that could be turned. It's possible that not every coach has the same level of site-building skills as you do, so they don't think of it that way. WordPress is useful because it lays a foundation for any website that you might wish to develop. This is one of the reasons why WordPress is so beneficial. It is the content management system (CMS) that holds the lion's share of the market share, and there is a good reason for this. Managing your website with WordPress is among the simplest and most straightforward ways to do so.
 WordPress makes it easy to manage anything, including making changes to your blog, subscribing to newsletters, designing pages, and creating contact forms. If you want to provide online coaching services, you should think about WordPress as the foundation for anything else you want to accomplish in order to make this happen. After installing WordPress on your website, you have the option of adding a wide variety of plug-ins and applications to further customize its functionality.
 Want  to create useful “how-to” blog posts? You can do that in WordPress.
Do  you want to attract prospective new customers by publishing a free     newsletter that features a scrollbar at the top of the page? That is     something that can be done in WordPress.
Do you want to generate more interest in webinars? Integrate the feeds of  your social media platforms so that your website is automatically updated. How far in advance should site changes be scheduled? 
 If you have WordPress installed on your computer, then you can accomplish everything.
Installing Website on WordPress: Step-by-Step Instructions
The good news about WordPress is that it has grown so prevalent that some hosting companies, including us here at Webhostingworld offer one-click installation. This means that you can use WordPress even if you have no prior experience constructing websites. Because we are aware of your interest in WordPress, we won't make the installation process difficult for you. Regardless of this, there is still the issue of how to initiate the process. With Webhostingworld, you may take advantage of their one-click installation if you are a new customer purchasing a new hosting package.
Please log in to access the Customer Portal.
Select  the Create Website option.
Following this link will bring you to a new page that is titled "Build your     site with WordPress." 
Just hit the Get Started button.
A temporary URL will also be provided to you in addition to the login information for WordPress that will be automatically generated by the site. Make sure you have a record of all of this information for future use. When you have those nailed down, click the link that says "Go to WordPress." You've reached the very end of the process, and WordPress will now serve as the platform for your coaching website.
 What Should You Add to the Website on WordPress That You Use for Coaching?
You will be tempted to load up your WordPress page with as many add-ons and plugins as you can possibly think of. And I think you're going to enjoy that. But before we get into that, let's talk about the serious business of the website itself. 
Consider for a moment that you already have a domain name printed on your business card. Imagine what happens after you hand that card to a potential customer for coaching and think about what they will do with it. Do they go through the motions of taking out a business card, sitting at home, and typing in their domain name? If that is the case, then what do they see? What exactly do they not see? When you build the website, you should incorporate all of the following elements:
A Home pages:
Your home page as a coach needs to perform two very crucial tasks: it must both draw attention to itself and build trust with visitors. Because of this, each choice you make on the homepage of your website is going to take on an even greater degree of significance. If you aren't sure what it looks like, use these two straightforward values as a reference to help you create your website.
Having authority: 
Your website ought to include a list of several sources, such as a podcast, a local newspaper, or a residential area association, in which you have been featured previously. It is difficult to receive offers if you don't have any credibility as a coach, and this helps develop that credibility straight away.
 Link: 
Above the fold, or the point at which we begin to scroll down, there should be a large photograph to welcome visitors. A "mission statement" placed on the top page of your website might provide new customers with useful information about your business. The home page sits at the very top of the funnel, which directs prospective clients of your coaching services to the "contact" page of your website. It is the point that is the widest. It provides solutions to the most important questions. It presupposes that the guest is unfamiliar with you. In addition to this, it provides introductions in a broad, general sense that piques the reader's interest in the type of coaching you provide.
A page dedicated to coaching services:
After someone has done research on you, the natural next question is how the two of you can collaborate. It will be tempting to place the responsibility for completing the transaction on your potential customers' shoulders. However, saying, "Get in touch with me, and we can figure something out", is not the best response. It gives the impression that you do not engage in this activity very frequently.
That issue is resolved on your services page. The following items must be included in your submission:
A  list of people who could become customers. Do you just want to work with executives     in C-suite positions? Are you willing to work with individuals on a     one-on-one basis? Specify that for the reader. 
Provide a rundown of your services. One-on-one Zoom meetings? Webinars? What about public speeches? Make sure that no matter how you approach coaching, it is crystal clear what it is that you have to offer.
 A contact pages:
Now we're getting closer to the bottom of the funnel. It is time for your prospective customer to take some kind of action. As a result, the contact page on your website needs to be the one with the fewest bells and whistles. The visitor should only be allowed to take one step forward, and that is reaching out. That entails a straightforward contact form consisting of the user's name, email address, and a brief message.
If you provide a variety of services, you can modify the contact form that WordPress generates for your website to add a drop-down menu. You won't have to worry about receiving ambiguous communications from potential customers who aren't sure what they want this way. As you progress further in your career as a coach, you will discover that tools such as these are extremely helpful in correctly qualifying prospects before they become customers.
Plugins and Themes for WordPress that Come Highly Recommended for Coaching Websites
Once you've finished setting up the rest of your coaching website, you can begin adding the fun plugins and fancy-schmancy design themes that really make it stand out.
 WordPress themes designed specifically for trainers:
Astra : 
It will provide you with a striking home page; upload a photograph of     yourself in a professional setting to assist in establishing your     credibility and authority right away.
Divi: 
A page builder for WordPress that markets itself as the "ultimate     page builder," Building web pages is made much simpler with Divi, a     web page builder that is built on visuals and removes the element of     design guesswork. After all, you initially intended to be a coach rather     than a web designer.
AuthorityPro:
 If you are unable to demonstrate your expertise as a professional coach,     you will not attract very many customers. Building that relationship from     the very beginning is at the heart of what Authority Pro is all about.
Plugins for WordPress that are designed for coaches:
 WPForms:
 Your website strives towards a variety of objectives, but in the end, it's     just about one thing: encouraging visitors to click the  "contact" button. You won't be able to acquire business as a coach until you can create contact forms that work well.
Memberpress: 
Have a growing list of customers that are looking for a community of people who share their values and beliefs? You may want to consider     MemberPress as the next stage in your online evolution because it will  enable you to create a community that is centered on the ideas that you teach.
Push Engage: 
Let's imagine you need to drum up excitement for an upcoming webinar or keynote event. How exactly do you make people talk about just     your website? You may get the immediate attention you require with the help of Push Engage, which enables you to post announcements above your usual content.
Conclusion:
Establishing one's authority and credibility as a coach is essential to acquiring new clients. The website of today is the equivalent of the business card that was used in the past. You have two options: you can either take it seriously, establish a strong presence, and hand out that address with pride, or you may pray that the best will happen. You'll find that selecting the former option is quite simple to accomplish using WordPress. And this is especially true when you have one of the dependable WordPress hosting packages that Webhostingworld offers and which makes it a breeze to set up WordPress on your website.
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Webhostingworld
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purplesurveys · 1 year
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1606
Do you remember much from high school? Some snippets here and there, but it’s not like my memory is superpower-levelsof good. If anything, I know my old survey blog is still hanging around here and I told so much shit about high school in there, while I was actually in high school.
Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? I’d love to go traveling around West Asia and follow it up with a second leg in North Africa.
Can you access the roof of the building you live in? Well we have a rooftop, so yes.
Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? Occasionally my clients will have regional higher-ups join our calls and they would have very thick accents that I’d sometimes struggle to understand, yes.
If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? Seven dots in the order of BTS’ mic colors. I also want to incorporate a 7 in there but I still don’t know how; might be something I ask help for from the tattoo artist.
What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? The last one I remember listening to is Dispatches From Myrtle Beach, which is a podcast by GMM’s Link and his dad. I loved the pilot a lot, but as I’m not a usual listener of any podcast I didn’t really catch up. My focus when listening is pretty shaky so podcasts and I have never really worked well together.
Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? Optimist. I was a raging pessimist in the past and I’ve learned that always looking at the bad side of things has never helped me nor helped the situation get better. I like looking at things realistically if anything, but I’m never always like, “this is going to shit” or “I’m going to be so bad at this.”
When was the last time you moved house? That would be 15 years ago.
Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? I held some sort of practice gun once, at Athenna’s place. I still don’t know whether that was a real one or what.
Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? You mean on these surveys? Simple ones. I go here for a distraction, so for the most part deep questions that would make me need to mull over my answers kinda defeats that purpose.
How long have you been using Bzoink? I’ve been checking it out since like ‘09, but never made an account since I primarily post surveys here. 14 years!
When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? Nausea from too much screentime. Work, as always.
Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) Yep, honorifics are thrown out the window for the most part. It’s meant to make everyone comfortable with one another and confident to share ideas.
What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple.
Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? I find it hard to imagine doing so, tbh. 
What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? Probably December before we went on shutdown.
Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? My grandpa. I miss talking to him; he was an incredibly intelligent person. I’m mostly sad I was too young to fully appreciate the little factoids and anecdotes he would share – and also because I never did get to share a drink with him.
What were the best and worst costumes you've ever worn? Best would be dressing up as Sofie for one Halloween - it’s my favorite because it ended up being the most resourceful/cheapest and the most popular in my friend group lol. Worst would probably just be the generic princess/pirate costumes we’d buy last-minute at the department store.
Do you know anybody who is gay and married? Yes, a prof I had in college. Media law is what they taught.
What did you last take painkillers for? A headache from fluctuating temperatures all day.
Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Reading. I already have two books lined up for me to read, which is a great start to 2023. I imagine I’d be getting into it more as I become closer with Kat (my cousin’s fiancée), who’s as big a bookworm as it gets.
Have you ever shared a home with a friend? I have not.
What's the craziest or weirdest place you've ever slept? The fucking parking lot at Metrowalk. What in the utter fuck was I thinking.
What did you have for lunch today and who made it? It’s 9:57 AM.
Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? No.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Around 5. Slept at 3, woke up at a little over 8 this morning.
Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Grass, apparently. And certain fabrics that I haven’t figured out yet because my rashes apper randomly, lmao.
What's your favourite Thai dish? Pad thai and green curry.
Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Yeah but I rarely set them on. It’s for waking up for work if I feel like I’ll have trouble waking up the next morning.
What are you going to do when this survey is over? Play with the dogs.
Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Nope.
What colour is the rug in your living area? Grey.
Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? I alternate between couch and sofa.
Who is your favourite character on Friends? Chandler. I’m most similar to Monica so I like her too.
When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? My dad got a pair of headphones for the family raffle last Christmas and my sister and I gave it a quick try to make sure it works fine. Describe the temperature of the area you're in right now. It’s hot during the day but can be very cold at night.
Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? This girl at church who turned out to be someone from my high school once I got to take a better look at her, lol.
Have you ever had teppanyaki? No, it doesn’t really appeal to me. This is why I could never count Japanese as a top fave cuisine of mine lol – I only ever really regularly eat sushi and sashimi, oh and ramen too. Not so much of the fuller rice/meat dishes they’ve got.
How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? Around 30-45 minutes. I take longer now; I never know what to wear.
Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? I will say that I’m a bit of a hoarder, yes. Not reality-TV levels of bad, but I do find it hard to get rid of things.
What sort of games do you like to play? Just easy Mario ones, man. I’m terrible at video games. GTA is fun too but I only ever use it for the open-world feature and eating at restaurants LOL and not actually doing the missions.
What was the last candy you ate? These toffee candies given to my mom as a Christmas gift - they taste exactly like Ferrero Rocher.
Have you ever been hit in the face? What's the story? Yeah, by my brother and is the reason I do not talk to him. Family argument got out of hand, and he, the youngest, was the first to raise a hand.
Do you know anyone who is deaf? I used to know somebody. My great-grandma’s former househelp was mute and deaf.
Name one thing on your bucket list. Going to Korea!
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borregaardhays72 · 2 years
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The reason why Your Online Company Needs a Privacy Policy
I'm sure you've discovered that most internet sites include links with their "Privacy Policies" near the bottom on their own home pages. You might have also tried to go through through one of these brilliant Privacy Policies and know what their objective. If you have got, chances are there was so much legalese that it was hard to be able to figure out what meant, and exactly why it was right now there. You could have also inquired yourself whether a person need something comparable for your very own online business. The particular short answer in order to that question is definitely yes. If a person are looking to maximize the protection of your on-line assets, you want to prepare plus properly implement a great appropriate privacy plan in your website. Why don't walk through precisely what privacy policies will be, as well as how to prepare single that's best matched for your web-based business. What are Privacy Policies? The privacy policy is a published statements that sets forth the words and conditions underneath which your website handles the individual information that it purchases from anyone that sessions the site. There is not any required length or perhaps standard form for the privacy policy, nevertheless most of them contain the particular same type of terms and language. Typically the guiding principles regarding preparing your personal website privacy policy will be accuracy and clearness. First and primary, your privacy policy should describe the points a person do or may possibly do with the particular personal information you accumulate through your website visitors. As a starting place, the privacy policy have to contain the pursuing elements: 1. Recognize the types of personal data your website gathers about its site visitors. You might get the email address associated with each visitor who else posts message to your website message boards or chat areas, or that contact you through a new web form or email. best privacy training for staff may also collect client preference information coming from website surveys or even other pages, plus there might get additional information that consumers volunteer or give while on your website. You should identify each of these kinds of types of data. It's also very good practice to explain the particular types of info that your particular website computers automatically log about each visitor, which often might are the IP address of the computer the client is using. You must also state whether your web site sets "cookies" on the computer of a guest, and when so, what information is stored in the biscuit and what of which information is applied for. 2. Illustrate how you will use typically the information which is given by or accumulated from your website visitors. Can you use your own customer information intended for internal purposes sole, such as to be able to optimize your website structure or content? Do you share the information with outdoors organizations who might contact the persons for marketing uses? If contacted simply by a government business who wishes usage of the visitor information, can you contact the individuals prior to be able to releasing the data to be able to the government organization? You should disclose each of these uses inside your online privacy policy. 3 or more. Describe how an internet site user can critique and make changes to their personal data, if that is an choice available to them. For instance , if your own website posseses an e-commerce component and you also enable customers to store their very own shipping or billing information on your internet site, then you have to state how the customer can entry that information in case he or the lady wants to review or change it. 4. Describe exactly how you will publicize changes to your own online privacy policy. Privacy policies live documents, within the sense that they have to be updated in addition to revised as you grow and create changes to the way you do business, in addition to in reaction to adjustments in legal requirements. Do you plan to email your registered users with an up-date about any changes to the privacy insurance plan, or should the review the policy from time-to-time to master about changes? five. Provide your info. At a lowest, you should offer a valid email handle where a customer may contact you with questions with regards to your privacy insurance plan. This is a good practice mainly because it can aid you discover Carry out I Really Have to have to Have a very Privacy Policy? If you truly don't collect any personal info from your guests (such as in case your company website will be simply an one page that gives your physical retail store location and company hours), then you might not need to have a very official written privacy policy. But if you get any customer or perhaps contact information through your website, have an internet commerce element, or acquire any other data from your guests, or plan to be able to do any involving those activities in the near future, then yes, you do need an online privacy policy. Not really having an correct online privacy policy can reveal your company to legal responsibility in several different methods. The first will be that you face liability under a growing number of state laws aimed at safeguarding consumer privacy. For instance , California law requires a commercial website agent who collects virtually any personal information regarding users to conspicuously post its privacy policy on it is website. While the term "conspicuously" isn't defined explicitly within the rules, it's generally acknowledged that this implies that the link should be on the cyberspace home page. Philadelphia and Nebraska have laws which forbid website operators coming from knowingly make some sort of false or inaccurate statement in their privacy policies about the use of personal data collected from their users. Need to you care concerning these state laws should you do not live throughout one of these three states? Typically the answer, again, is definitely - probably. In the event that your business targets users across the country (or, even more accurately, doesn't targeted users in any kind of particular locale), next your website will certainly likely be placed towards the legal specifications of each in addition to every state. This particular will be typically the case for anyone who is inside of the business regarding selling informational products like e-books, provide consulting services in order to clients anywhere inside the U. H., or the like. Even if the business is truly an area one, like a tresses salon that utilizes a website to offer contact information or enable customers to create appointments online, really still smart to create your privacy insurance plan accurate. The laws and regulations above are simply those that are usually enforceable by typically the states themselves. Personal individuals might likewise bring lawsuits centered on any sort of inaccurate or even potentially deceptive procedures set forth in your privacy policies. Exactly what do I do next? Thankfully, you don't need to start from scratch if you prepare your own privacy policy. There will be a number regarding resources available about the Internet that will serve because great starting points for your own privacy policy. But beware of simply copy another home page's online privacy policy word for word. This may boost the chances that the policy won't match what you are using your customers' personal data.
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qqueenofhades · 2 years
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Hi! It’s not an ask, just read your post about whether ordinary people in Russia support the war and commented on it, hope you don’t mind.
I can recommend a Russian channel that I love where recently there have been a lot of interviews with Russian people about what’s happening. The interviews are in Russian, but some of them have English subtitles. They offer a perspective of educated intelligent people, so it’s not an opinion shared by everyone, but they try to make sense of what’s happening.
Here is a link to the playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLynm3_86ldoTv06Qb-0MhzyDGgPxzZm3-
I can particularly recommend these two
https://youtu.be/8CW-WAJq0ts
https://youtu.be/vq7bAYFi-jE
So if you’re interested in this topic, you can watch them :)
Hope you have a nice day!
Thanks very much, and I'm glad to hear that you, as an actual Russian, thought that my analysis was accurate. I'll post this as future reference for me or anyone else who might be interested, though I'm still having to manage my information intake and trying not to check Twitter every three minutes. So we will see, but definitely a good resource to have, especially as the fog of war hangs heavy over much of the available information and it drags on into a second month.
As to my last post, my point was not that 1) everyone in Russia supports the war, or 2) everyone in Russia opposes the war, because clearly neither of those things are true. It's just to point out that since literally all the Russian state-sponsored information about this entire fiasco has been proven to be deeply and risibly false, we simply do not know what any kind of percentage or exact proportion of support or opposition might consist of, and there's no way to derive it from the existing numbers. One Russian sociologist estimates that only about 25% of Russian citizens are willing to talk to pollsters at all, and that they universely conclude that such surveys are conducted by the government, which in turn influences the answers they give. Besides (as you yourself already know, of course, but this is just for me to elaborate for my other followers), Russia exists, and has existed, for so long in its alternate information universe. Even a casual study of Russian and Soviet history makes plain that propaganda and ideology occupy a pivotal place in the intellectual and civic ecosystem, and that it is, to be blunt, largely or entirely fed by the dezinformatsiya of the ruling class. At least in terms of television or any other accessible media, and which obviously has an impact on shaping public mindset at the most molecular level.
I believe that two things can be true: i.e. that public support for Putin has probably ticked up to some degree, due to the Russian instinct to circle the wagons and support the leader in times of crisis, and due to the Kremlin propaganda machine's exceptional success in promoting its worldview and playing on the ancestral Russian hatred of "Nazis" (who are by now anyone that Putin and the siloviki don't like). Actual, genuine information doesn't really enter into it, and has been purposefully made as difficult and dangerous as possible to obtain. I also believe that we can't have any accurate notion of how widespread, authentic, or deeply rooted the public support for the "special military operation" actually is. If only 25% of people answer the poll at all, and then are willing to give genuinely honest answers on a topic as sensitive as Ukraine, and then you come up with 83% of 25% supporting the war, that translates to something like... maybe twenty percent of the population of a country of 144 million. Which is still a significant chunk, but not a majority, not even close to a majority, only counts the people willing to complete the exercise in the first place, and definitely doesn't count all the anti-war protesters who have either been arrested or already left the country. In short, as I said, it really doesn't ultimately tell us anything or allow us to draw informed conclusions, especially without any kind of detailed demographic breakdown or rigorous sampling method made available to check the poll's crosstabs independently. When you have demonstrably bad data from a source (the Russian government and state media apparatus) that has been proven to be manifestly and repeatedly untrustworthy, you can't just cite it as if it has self-evident authority and without extensive qualifications. This is Scholarship 101.
I do think that this war is exposing Russia's many shortcomings as a modern nation-state in all their ugly glory, and one of those is, as Anne Applebaum put it in her excellent and utterly harrowing history of the Gulag, "the political consequences of absent memory." The Russian people have simply not had a reckoning with their past the way Germany did after WWII, and which is begrudgingly happening in America despite all the kicking and screaming from the right-wing nutjobs. It's often felt that they tried liberalization in the 90s, that didn't work and led to the economy crashing, and now that Putin and his cronies are in power, it is in their interest to shut down any responsible or informed study of the past among their own people. In a sense, yes, of course the Russians support what they have been told for their entire existence is the Russian thing to do, and despite repeated sociopolitical and economic catastrophes resulting from this fact, they still have not yet been able to fundamentally change that system. It remains to be seen if they will, yet again, get away without doing so.
I can think of no more dramatic and stunning way to encapsulate this "absent memory" and its dire consequences than the reports currently coming out of Chernobyl. Literally the entire world knows what happened there in 1986, and many of us are also aware how it directly contributed to the collapse of the USSR, the polity which Putin so openly hankers to rebuild. So the fact that Russia would send soldiers in there, completely unprotected, to capture it -- and for that matter, recklessly shell the Zaphorizhia nuclear plant in an apparent attempt to force a new catastrophe -- is bad enough. This is especially the case since Chernobyl is defunct (it shut down in 2000) and doesn't actually produce power, but still requires round-the-clock monitoring. So it's not actually a valuable military or civic-infrastructure target (and this was even before the Russian forces went whole hog on the war crimes due to being unable to make meaningful progress otherwise). Why go there? Just to say you have it? Or... something?
Except now they're evidently evacuating the Russian soldiers from the Exclusion Zone, and the soldiers are -- you guessed it -- suffering from Acute Radiation Sickness, which means they will almost certainly die painfully in a short time. They were digging trenches in the goddamn Red Forest, the most irradiated place on earth where even the Chernobyl plant workers aren't allowed to go, and when the Chernobyl staff asked them directly if the soldiers had any goddamn hell idea where they were and what they were doing, the soldiers didn't know. They had no clue what Chernobyl was or why it was important. They just repeated over and over that it was "critical infrastructure." They had no idea that the world's worst nuclear accident had happened there or that it directly contributed to the breakdown of the USSR. And now, for that reason, they're all going to Belarus to probably, as I said, die painfully of radiation poisoning. That is... wow.
So yes. Until the Russian public finally comes to grips with the sheer depths of its absent memory and the terrible domestic and international political consequences, the Russian system which produced and enabled Putin and his fellow war criminals can't ever fundamentally and meaningfully change. As someone who studies Russian history, literature, and language, and is deeply interested in it overall, I sure hope it can do that, not least before it destabilizes the rest of the world. Whatever form this is going to take, who knows, but that is the Russian people's responsibility as a whole, and needs to be acknowledged.
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coeurdastronaute · 3 years
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Essays in Existentialism: Plus One, Ch. 2
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Previously on Plus One
It oscillated every other minute between being an amazing idea, but also being the worst idea of all time, and Lexa was mostly exhausted of bouncing back and forth. It might be easier, she decided, if she just got herself on board with it being a good idea, but a deep, gnawing hole seemed to manifest itself in her gut at the very thought of seeing her ex. 
As she went through the motions of finishing the day, of doing inventory because it was Wednesday, Lexa tried not to distract herself with the thoughts of her impending trip. In just forty-eight hours, she’d be face to face with Costia, who she hadn’t seen in months, who she avoided before occasionally running awkwardly into each other at mutual friends’ events. She’d come face to face with her ex who was getting married. 
And she was going to do it with a complete stranger on her arm. 
With a heavy sigh, Lexa tossed her clipboard on her tiny desk in the storage closet and plopped down in the squeaky chair, tipping it back with a wail. Her sister was the worst. 
It was quiet in the shop, closed for just a handful of hours, Lexa always took a day to inventory and repair the damage of the week. She enjoyed the late evening work, when her workers were gone, and the shop was empty and full of dreams. No one knew how the cabinets stayed so clean, or how the scratches on table tops got sanded and fixed, or how the wobbly table by the window was miraculous cured one day, or how the ceiling fans got dusted, just that it all happened, and Lexa was off, meaning she didn’t come in until at least ten, the following morning. 
But Lexa sat in the chair and let her brain do the same mental gymnastics it always seemed to do in the new quiet she found herself craving. She opened her laptop and ignored the awaiting spreadsheet, and instead opted to look over the answer Clarke had given her to the “Know your partner” quiz Clarke googled and made them both do. A mix of basic information and Newlywed Game style innuendos, Lexa filled hers out after a bottle of wine and anxiously waited for Clarke’s. 
That was what started the daydreaming. She scrolled through Clarke’s answers and furrowed, doing her best to memorizing all that she could, as if she’d be tested on it all, as if it’d be impossible to believe she could be happy with someone like Clarke. 
And when those thoughts started to seep into her brain, Lexa leaned back again and dug the tips of her fingers into her eyes. 
In a week it’d be over. 
And with that and a deep, heavy sigh, Lexa looked at the screen again and went about learning Clarke. 
She started professionally, of course, looking at her corporate page and resume, because this was, if not anything, simply a business transaction and Lexa thought it was easier to parse a person if she didn’t actually have to fall for her. 
A graphic designer at Anya’s firm, Clarke held accolades and a long list of references. The link to her work showed a wide range of commercial campaigns and a certain amount of talent evident by her list of upcoming projects. A graduate of a small, private, liberal arts university, her academics leaned heavily scientific, which was a surprise until Lexa read some of the answers in the survey about a degree in physics given up for art. 
Lexa promised that she wouldn’t have looked at Clarke’s Instagram if Clarke hadn’t requested her first. She wasn’t someone who lurked, or at least she thought she wasn’t. She didn’t want to be someone who snuck around, digging through someone’s past, analyzing every filter and caption like a private investigator. But then Clarke appeared. 
And there were pictures of Clarke with friends getting drinks on a rooftop. And then the one with her laughing and baking. Or the Christmas party where she was on a corporate Santa’s lap, smiling so wide her eyes were shut. Despite herself Lexa found herself smiling along with the girl in the pictures. The one who went hiking with a pack of dogs, and the one who seemed to always be eating something. The one who had a lot of friends and enjoyed making them smile and laugh. The girl who posted storie about her morning run, and the girl who seemed to have a healthy work life balance. 
Lexa closed the webpages and stared at her inventory for exactly two seconds before curiosity won again and Lexa started looking at Costia’s account. There were the standard pictures of her pre-wedding planning. There was Costia working out. There was her new bride-to-be, happy and smiling at a gift for her birthday. 
And then a throwback that made Lexa’s stomach drop as she stared at a familiar image of Costia smiling in a bikini on a beach. It was from the last trip they took. Lexa was the one behind the camera. 
Three weeks after that picture was taken, Lexa walked in on Costia and a girl in the middle of the afternoon. Right in their own bed. Only to then discover it’d been going on for months. And it wasn’t the first. And then, Lexa didn’t remember much except that she moved into the apartment above her coffee shop and woke up one morning alone on sheets that weren’t familiar, in a room full of boxes. 
It seemed even more difficult to start inventory after that shot to the gut. 
But her phone went off, and Lexa leaned back in her chair after shutting the laptop again, wondering if that sinking feeling ever went away when it came to someone you love, or loved, or once loved, even for a moment. She didn’t have anything to compare it to, and she didn’t have any idea what love really was. 
It felt like a deep wound was scratched open, the scab pulled back, and a burning numbness gnawing at the bottom of her spine. It felt like it would swallow her whole, and Lexa hated, more than anything, giving anyone the power to do anything as such over her. 
Hey! Do you think this will go with your outfit?
An image came next, of Clarke in a dressing room wearing a very pretty dress, with very messy hair with her tongue sticking out. Lexa didn’t notice the gnawing feeling disappear. 
We don’t have to match completely. 
We do! Don’t you know how to date?
Not really. 
Another picture of another dress came a moment later. Clarke was pretty. She was happy and silly and kind. It felt oddly normal, for as crazy as the whole scheme actually was. 
I like that one, Lexa wrote, making sure to add a heart-eyed emoji to emphasize her point. Maybe that was flirting. Maybe she was allowed. She definitely needed more rules. 
Good, I do too. It matches your tie, you know? And these heels will still leave you a little taller than me. 
Sounds good to me!
Kind of excited. I guess I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow. 
I’ll be the one at the bar. 
I’ve heard it’s possible to find your soulmate at the airport. Something about the crossing of paths and time and space. 
If my soulmate is a bottle of wine, then I reckon I might. 
A love story for the ages. 
Lexa smiled once more at her phone before tossing it to the side and letting her head drop to the desk. With a groan she growled into her hands and broke it down. She just needed to make it seventy-two hours. That was it. She could sleep for about twenty of those. She could drink for another twenty or more, if she really tried. 
But this was it. This was the end. 
And regardless of the weight of everything else, there was something satisfying about knowing it was almost over. 
XXXXXXXXXX
The airport was absolutely teaming with bodies and people, weaving their way through the swelling crowds, loading and unloading the terminals at a constant, steady thumping rate, so regular one could set a watch to the heartbeat of the building. 
Clarke adjusted her bag on her shoulder and tapped the ticket against her thigh as she moved through the security line. The nerves were coming for some reason. That was why she was at the airport three hours before the flight. She was anxious and needed a stiff drink and a few moments to catch her breath. She needed to escape the whirlwind she’d allowed herself to create. 
Carefully, she made her way through the airport, checking the boards and finding her way to a seat in the empty waiting room. Not even an attendant waited at the kiosk. 
Once again, she let herself awkwardly scroll on her phone, learning everything she could about her future date and weekend plans. 
Lexa was nearly non-existent online. She didn’t have any pictures of herself. She rarely posted anything on her personal account, and when she did, it was just a book or a coffee or from a trip. She wasn’t one to enjoy being the center of attention, but when it came to her shop, she made sure to post almost daily, highlighting her employees and their recommendations, she made share to highlight events, she made sure to be as active as possible. 
Anya had already warned Clarke that her sister was devoted to her work. She’d poured all of her effort into being successful and part of the community, and Clarke admired it, she just wished that there was more for her to see. 
And so, once more, she flipped back to the long line of questions they’d filled out before giving up and gazing out the window at the planes coming and going. 
For a moment, she allowed herself to think that she was doing something nice and good. It was an act of charity. It was the shake up Clarke needed and was selfishly trying to package as benevolent. 
“You beat me, and I’m usually the first one here for a flight,” Lexa observed, walking up to Clarke, stealing her from her reverie. 
“I like airports. Just waiting for true love to stroll up and introduce themselves.”
Lexa shoved her hands in her pockets, her bag balanced on her shoulder as she cautiously looked around, surveying the empty terminal slowly. Clarke watched her look around, smiled at the innocence of it. Enjoyed the way she ran her hand through her hair, mussing it up a bit and tossing it to another side. 
“No one likes airports,” Lexa shook her head before taking the seat beside her. 
“I do. They’re romantic.” 
“Romantic?” 
“You can get onto a plane, and a few hours later, you’re hundred of miles away, and it’s different weather, and it’s a different time zone. You can go to sleep in a different state. How can you not be romantic about that.”
“It’s a tin can filled with recycle air.” 
“But there are peanuts.” 
That did it. Lexa cracked a smile to herself and relaxed a little. 
“I was going to be the first one here. Surprise you with coffee, but you beat me to it.” 
“You are quite a good girlfriend. Someone clearly trained you well.” 
Lexa shook her head, somewhat bashful, somewhat reserved. There was always something right there, just below the surface, obfuscated by a kind of resolve to never give anything away, not at any price. Clarke read it between words in their texts and emails, a glaring finality in the simple pixel of a period. 
“Can I get you a coffee? Two creams, two sugar right?”
“You don’t have to--”
“It’s early and I’m trying to be charming. Allow me to somewhat repay you for this whole endeavour.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, darling.” 
With the term of endearment, Lexa nodded, grinning into her chest as she stood and made her way across the terminal in search of sustenance. Clarke watched her take out her phone, texting her sister no doubt. 
Once more, Clarke resumed the digging on her own, scrolling on her own phone at old pictures on Lexa’s profile. She was ready for fun, and she was ready to crack at that facade. 
“I don’t know if this will help,” Lexa sighed as she sat down. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night.” 
“Oh this won’t be good for me either,” Clarke said as she took a sip. “I’m a fairly nervous flyer.”
“And yet you let me get us both coffee.” 
“You made a good point, and I’m prepared to be paid back all weekend.” 
With another grin, Lexa leaned back, her arm going on the back of the chair that Clarke inhabited, naturally, with ease, with a level of comfort. 
“Are you ready to tell me the story?” 
“Which one is that?” Clarke turned to look at her date, returned from an absent moment. 
“How we met.” 
“How we met,” she nodded, her smile bordering on mischievous. “That’s simple. Don’t you remember? It was a very blustery Tuesday, and I was trying to escape the wind and rain. I almost tripped coming into your coffee shop, but you happened to be sweeping, and were kind enough to catch me.”
“You’re severely overestimating my reflexes.” 
“Fine. I ran you over and we both ended up on our asses in the middle of the coffee shop. Coffee everywhere.” 
“Sounds pretty likely.” 
“And I knew right there, I was hooked. Those eyes, all angry and annoyed at me for not looking where I was going, despite my persistent defense that I’d been assaulted by the weather.” 
“Why do I have to be the angry one?” 
“Wouldn’t you be though?” Clarke returned, daring her to be contradicted.
“Maybe,” Lexa agreed over the lid of her cup, fretting with it nervously. 
“So I crashed into you, and you bought be a coffee. I turned up every day after that until I finally asked you out. You took longer than I would have liked to answer me, but I accepted it anyway, and we’ve been madly in love ever since.” 
“And when was this?” 
“About eight months ago.” 
“How’s it going so far?” 
“Splendidly. I’ve already met your sister, who it happens that I work with, which is super convenient for everyone.” 
Quietly, Lexa sat there, going over the story, going over all of the past eight months of apparent bliss in her head. Clarke watched her furrow before softening, her eyes not seeing, but rather looking through the window as a plane took off and another landed. The softening of her features was soon met with a perplexion, a slight, gentle contortion of the brow and the lips, a tightening as a kind of confusion overtook the ease of the entire story. 
“Is it that easy?” Lexa asked quietly, turning her head toward her date. Clarke cocked her head, waiting for more. “Is all of it… just… a wind? Waiting for someone to just ask you out? Is it that easy? Does that happen to people?” 
“It can. How does anything happen in the world? It just… does. The universe is just a series of things happening, all of the time, right?”
“But is it that easy?”
To her credit, Clarke thought about it. She flexed her jaw and took a deep breath before slowing letting it go as she wondered if it really was. 
“I don’t know. Maybe it can be.” 
“How?”
“I guess there has to be a balance to making things happen and letting things happen.” 
“I don’t know if I’m good at either of those things,” Lexa confessed. She sat up straighter a moment later, afraid of her honesty, and surprised more by how easily it came out. 
“I think you can be.”
“That’s probably too kind.” 
“We’ll see.” 
Clarke rubbed Lexa’s shoulder, rubbed the middle of her back between her shoulder blades until she reached the collar of her shirt, where she massaged her neck. She tensed before relaxing, and Clarke didn’t stop, just rubbed there gently, slowly until she knew it was enough and she trailed her palm back toward the seat. 
It was right there, they just didn’t know it.
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tundrainafrica · 3 years
Text
Title: Passion Project (3/4)
Summary:
“Ignoring Hange Zoe had become a little passion project he allowed himself to indulge in, in between expeditions and quietly mourning unnecessary deaths in the battlefield.”
Levi tries to ignore Hange but it never seems to last. A ficlet detailing the development of Levi and Hange’s relationship before canon.
Link to cross-postings: AO3
Link to other chapters: 1 2 4
Despite having recovered enough, Levi wasn’t permitted to join their next expedition outside the walls.
For assurance. Keith had said.
One day you might just be humanity’s hope. Erwin had added. We don’t want you worsening any of your recent injuries.
Levi had no problem with putting weight on his left ankle nor did he even have trouble, tightening his ribs as he bent forward. He experimented on those old injuries more than enough times to be sure. In fact, when he was all alone in the barracks, he found himself looking for a forest to practice with the ODM gear.
Shift your weight a little forward so you won’t use too much gas.
When you dash, make sure to tense your back. Try to curl it a bit as you move forward.
Only after the initial dash can you relax.
She had been right. By just changing where he shifted his weight, how he positioned his back and by just keeping in mind at which moments up he should tense up or relax, he was able to make the whole process of sailing through the air in ODM gear a little easier. He could not tell then, but he might have even been going faster.
The scenery changed too fast around him as he zipped through the trees. Contours around him quickly blurred into hazy afterimages so quickly and so unfamiliarly Levi could easily pretend he was elsewhere. He could pretend he wasn’t letting out pent up frustration at his inability to do much for the survey corps but watch from the crowds as the gates of Wall Rose opened up to Wall Maria territory and then outside Wall Maria, titan territory and as his fellow soldiers disappeared outside the walls.
The exercises in the forest only acted as a temporal reprieve. Levi could have been practicing for almost a whole day by the time the cannister lightened to an almost dangerous weight.
Levi hurriedly landed before gravity did the job for him. At the same moment, his senses started to get used to the mundane surroundings of the forest once again, Levi started to welcome, albeit unwillingly, the pent up frustrations, the tensions and something else.
Hange was out on the expedition as well and Levi reminded himself only a while ago that she was still there in the small pieces of advice that lingered in his mind as he dashed from tree to tree.
She wouldn’t die that easily. Levi assured himself. She was the one after all who had given that same advice which had him so freely zipping through even the most aberrant trees.
Probably won't be able to maneuver as well as you though.
Levi’s stomach dropped as he recalled that passing comment from Hange. It brought to light once again the stark reality of being part of the survey corps. Any one of them can die anytime and Hange was no exception.
He found himself grateful to the black tea she had given and the past self that had given in to her incessant pleas for some extra one-on-one training. For the first time, he found himself grateful for her having taken the initiative to approach him every single time.
He didn’t believe in any god. Regardless, in the middle of the dark forest, he leaned on one of the wider tree trunks, looked to the starry sky and prayed. He prayed that somehow, every training session he had given her would amount to something.
God knows she might just need it.
                                Passion Project
For almost a few hours, Levi actually believed Hange could have been dead.
Word recently reached the barracks that the survey corps had just come back from their mission. Soon after that, chaos ensued, so much chaos that that had been his first conclusion. It was as if his mind just wanted to rationalize the worst case scenario which came with the unpredictable and almost unintelligible chain of events.
It turned out his worst case scenario wasn’t actually the worst case scenario that the chaos had brought with it.
Wall Maria had fallen and refugees were coming into Wall Rose by the hundreds of thousands. The barracks were deeper into Wall Rose though and word had only come to Levi when the deed had already been done. Hundreds of thousands had been killed. The culprits have disappeared and the crown made the executive decision to surrender Wall Maria to the titans.
Levi did not see the refugees first hand until a day after he received the news. He had gotten a bit curious though and went to the main road one day to see hopeless faces in carts en route to Wall Sina, possibly the underground city.
No. Definitely the underground city. None of the higher ups from Wall Sina would have let refugees live above ground there after all.
Soon after he caught wind on the outrageous turn of events and when his mind finally came to terms with the unfathomable disaster that had just occurred, the survey corps finally arrived from their mission and had settled into the barracks.
They had apparently gotten caught in one of the refugee camps in the outer districts of Wall Rose which delayed their homecoming.
To Levi’s relief despite the overwhelming chaos he had found himself caught up in, Hange came back home alive, uninjured and safe. He didn’t even have the mental or emotional space to be relieved for too long though. The topsy-turvydom that came with the fall of Wall Maria set up with it, a chain of events even within the survey corps that left Levi unable to consider Hange’s state.
At least, for a while.
                                     Passion Project
Within the next month, the Survey Corps underwent some major restructuring as the sector assigned with the almost impossible task of taking back the wall. Levi was transferred to a mainly combat role as soon as his injuries were deemed healed and suddenly Hange was not around as much anymore.
It should have been a comfortable reprieve from the loud brunette.
It never felt like one though, and Levi found himself wondering what she was doing during his own downtimes having busied himself with training and eventually having to train new recruits. After a few months though, the repetitive ODM training of the other members assigned to combat started to bore him and Levi spent what was supposed to be his training time, doing his own research on where Hange may have been assigned.
He was aware he could have easily asked Erwin or Mike. God forbid anyone thought I actually cared about that four eyes. Levi thought to himself as he instead decided to classify that research as part of the passion project, he had abandoned months ago.
He couldn't teach her about real life if he couldn't get to meet her right? He wouldn’t be able to teach her about ODM gear tricks he learned. Soon he even found out, he hadn’t even caught up with her on the latest improvements he had made to his own fighting style thanks to her feedback.
Unbelievably, he was starting to get a bit interested in what had gotten her so occupied. She had done a complete 180. Months ago she probably would have been the one to take the initiative.
A new role? A new passion project? A lover? He did remember she mentioned having proposals sent off to Erwin. He found himself threatening no one in particular, thinking to himself that the research better be worth something if she had so willingly changed her personality for it.
His own personal research on the whereabouts of Hange turned out to be a little unnecessary though because soon enough, Erwin was named the new commander of the Survey corps. Levi quickly rose to the rank of Captain and he was begrudgingly happy to find out that Hange had also recently been promoted to the squad leader for research and logistics.
Leadership meetings and strategy meetings every week meant that once again, the two soldiers were seeing each other on a regular basis. That also meant, Hange had gotten back into the habit of enthusing about some new combat strategy or some new invention she was developing with a conveniently placed yet a seemingly disinterested Levi.
Levi noticed as well that with her rise to a higher position, Hange started to open up a bit. A whole team had become an object and an audience to her rants. He only started to notice then that outside of the both of them, she had made some good bonds outside of what they shared.
There was one blonde in particular who followed her everywhere more often and it turned out he was her second in command, Moblit. Hange had pointed out that she had been friends with Moblit for longer than that.
Then why did he only notice Moblit now? Why was his mind suddenly racing in so many different directions at once, analyzing Hange’s warm interactions with her new found family and her second-in-command in particular?
She was taking care of her team and she was asking them the same questions with that same enthusiasm she had given him over tea so many times before. He couldn’t help but conclude that there was an inflation of kindness on her end, a Hange-flation. She was suddenly friendly to everyone, suddenly a parental figure to the recruits under her. Levi started to wonder of their long nights over had been anything special or if they were just a little convenience Hange had indulged herself in
And that’s how it’s supposed to be. Levi was supposed to be celebrating that development if he did care about her. He decided to let that green-eyed monster keep him company for a while longer though because it was just that much easier than letting it go.
At least the titans never had that problem Levi thought to himself that one night as he pondered the changes of their relationship.
During meetings, when she did alternate between enthusing about it with Moblit or him, he would notice her eyes never glimmered or sparkled at any one of them in particular. Her eyes were constantly smiling, her face was constantly turned up. It was at the mention of that one word which peppered all their conversations though where the sparkle in her eyes had been most apparent.
Titans.
At three in the morning, unable to sleep, Levi found himself envying those mindless eating giants for having such a lasting effect on Hange. And that envy actually had him more than eager to cut each and every single one of their napes during missions.
And eventually, those conflicting feelings brought him back to her. Within a year’s worth of expedition, Levi was deemed their strongest and fastest soldier and at Erwin’s orders ended up cooperating with Hange to test whatever new invention her squad came up with.
Did that type of metal pierce into titan skin?
Can the flash bomb made with this material actually blind titans?
Can the sound grenade deafen the titans?
The first of what was said to be many experiments consisted of Levi jumping down from on top of Wall Rose pelting titans with whatever latest invention they had while Hange’s assistants took notes.
Seven titans had swarmed that area of the wall and despite being surrounded by all of them, Levi did not feel at all that his life was in danger. In fact, he had actually felt a little more pressure from hearing Hange’s excited screams more than anything else.
“Can you check if this new material over here makes it easier to slice a titan’s nape?”
How the hell was he even supposed to test that? “Yeah I guess?” Levi answered. He killed two titans for that experiment and the movement had been too quick and too routine for Levi to consider such a subtle nuance in the titan killing process.
Even from more than ten feet below, as he held on to the wall by the cables of his ODM gear and the balls of his feet lightly planted on the surface, he recognized her disappointment when he answered in the way she narrowed her eyes and the way she kept silent for a few more seconds, a stark contrast to the excitable tone she maintained as they made their journey to the walls on Trost District.
I’ll try this myself next time then. Her voice was notably softer when she said it. Her voice though had a low timbre to it which made it recognizable and easy to listen to even a few feet down below. When he overheard it, he was also on his way back up to drop the proto-type blades Hange had wanted checked.
“Give me the rest of the fucking weapons you want to test.”
Testing the sound grenade and the flash grenade were easy. In fact, the hardest part for Levi had been making sure the titans stayed alive to witness both. Killing all of them on the spot had been the easier and more tempting option.
As soon as the smoke cleared at least and Levi scaled back up the walls, he heard the howls of excitement from Hange and he was sure he hadn’t disappointed then at least.
“Great job Levi! It looks like we might be able to use the sound grenade by our next mission,” Hange said, reaching out to high five Levi as he reached the top of the wall.
Levi ignored that. Go high five a titan instead. He wouldn’t have dared say that out loud though. For fear that Hange might just take that comment seriously.
Instead, he willed himself to avoid her gaze which he felt followed him and could even confirm from his peripherals as he sat back down on the wall a little exhausted having tested their three inventions of the night.
As he listened to the carefree way she rattled off observations and exchanged ideas with Moblit and her other squad members, he thought for a moment about the implications of humoring Hange and letting her indulge in her passion project. He quickly justified it though. It was Erwin their commander after all who had lightly suggested they cooperate in the development of new weapons given both their talents.
Orders are orders. Levi shrugged.
That night ended with them walking back to the Trost barracks with Hange next to him raving non-stop about Levi's skill then raving to Moblit about the improvements she would make.
That night, Hange served that same black tea, that same royal brand she had bribed him with their first tea night, a welcome sequel to other memories long ago.
And the routine of Levi and Hange from long ago had been revived, despite both their positions in the military. Although the experiments replaced their training sessions from their first years in the survey corps and most nights they were joined by Hange’s squad. Levi saw consistency in the black tea she served him after every single night of experiments without fail. He saw it as well in the later hours of the night when her team retires for the night.
During those short three hour long rests when it was just the two of them talking as if they were rookies again, Levi was at least reminded that she still saw value in interacting with him, even if he was probably second to the titans.
                                 Passion Project
Within a year or so, the survey corps had developed enough weapons and enough of a reputation.  Levi was given an opportunity to select team members for a special operations squad and his responsibilities only grew from there and his time for experiments dwindled.
He did miss the nights experimenting on titans with the research and development team and the nights spent just listening to the development team discuss the changes they were going to make for their weapon of the week.
The new developments within the survey corps and the new responsibilities Levi was given though had him distracted. There were even days that he did not think of Hange beyond the occasional collaboration work with the research and logistics squad
That establishment of the special squad gave Levi the opportunity to branch out from his confusing relationship with Hange. He slowly grew into the role of captain and started to care for each member of his team personally.
He couldn't help but notice something missing through the small details, particularly in the way they interacted with him. They called him "captain." They never forgot their please's and thank you's when talking to him. They never ordered anything from him.
They wouldn’t, I’m their captain. Oddly though, Levi started to miss Hange's ridiculous demands with little care for his time and convenience.
WIth Hange’s station so close to his, he had little excuse not to pay a visit every now and then. And he made sure to pay those visits.
Hange had busied herself with new titan research and the long nights with black tea had dwindled to a weekly or every-other-week occurrence. A much less frequent event from back when they were rookies. It was for good reason. They both had their own teams to manage after all.
Most of the conversations though started to shift to questions on titans then crackpot theories after. They were still as close as ever or that was at least what Levi wanted to believe. He couldn’t help but note though the wonder in her eyes and the way she would stare at nothing in particular, especially in those moments.
“Why do you like them so much?” Levi had asked one day, when the discussion of titans and her overly enthusiastic expression left him a little more self conscious than usual.
Hange locked eyes at him for a good few seconds before looking elsewhere, possibly trying to grasp for the right words. In the few seconds that she was looking at him, Levi at least caught it and had the time to appreciate it.
“Well… They’re interesting. They’re mysterious.”
The interestingness and the mysteriousness of titans was what grabbed Hange’s focus most days. When Levi showed up at her HQ or her research lab for their bimonthly tea dates, he would always have to pick her up in the lab. And that was one of the reasons why he had been the witness to the source of Hange’s passion
Some nights the passion had Hange a little obsessed, a little crazy and ignoring her basic needs. Moblit brought her dinner every night so he never had to worry about her food intake the days he did visit. One thing Moblit had trouble doing was taking her in for a bath.
And Levi made it his duty at least to make sure Hange had a weekly bath. Even if he had to knock her out to do it.
Even while in the bath, Hange continued to ramble on about titans. Some topics were rehashes others were new. Of course they’re mysterious and interesting. The fact that she could come up with a new topic every time was a testament to just that.
For some reason, Levi started to wonder whether or not he was interesting and mysterious too.
                                    Passion Project
One year into the formation of his new squad, Hange proposed a new plan.
"Let's capture a titan!"
It was a breath of fresh air to finally hear someone demand something while at the same time completely disregarding social norms and military standards. More importantly, it was a breath of fresh air that knocked some sense back to him, reminding him of his passion project that had been on hiatus for a long while.
Levi was the strongest soldier in the survey corps if not the strongest soldier humanity had to offer. Under him, he had a competent group of soldiers that would have been more than enough to capture the titans Hange would need for her research. His support would have also fast tracked the approvals from Erwin.
Levi was aware of all that and thus, completely understood why Hange was so insistent that he cooperate with her in the first place.
As an individual, he did want the excuse to spend more time with Hange. As a captain, while the plan was immature, he had to consider the welfare of his own squad. As a self-proclaimed close friend of Hange, did he really want to capture her a titan so he had more of an excuse to ignore him than what they already had? If he did capture her a titan, would he ever be able to see her again?
Outweighing the costs and the benefits, Levi went for ‘no’ which had won by a landslide in his mind.
That request, his new status and his musings all brought him back to his passion project of a few years ago. That project became his inspiration once again as he braced himself for the whining and begging he had almost missed.
For a while, Levi was worried that she would attempt to bribe him with black tea leaves.
Hange proved to be a soldier of honor though. It was as if they both silently understood and agreed, the lives of Levi's special squad and any soldier who would be involved in the capture process would not have been worth that black tea.
                                         Passion Project
Once again, she was talking to him like she hadn’t ignored him for her other research so many times the past few years.
Of course she’s talking to me. It’s for fucking titans.
The motivation behind the sudden regular messages she’s been sending through Moblit and the regular visits she made to his headquarters would have been a welcome sight any other day. He saw the reasons behind it though and any positive emotions that could have been felt from that were soured by his speculations on her motivations alone.
Scrambling for something more positive out of it, Levi went back to what his past self knew best. Ignore Hange. And just imagining that unwavering steady relationship she had with the titans made that all the easier. It was not like she would care anyway if he ignored her.
He had ended up tuning her out all the way until their next expedition with plans to ease the silent treatment by the start of the next expedition. He had hoped the excitement of starting the 49th expedition would have distracted her enough from her titan capturing plans.
It turned out to have only gotten worse.
"Hey Levi."
"I'm not doing it"
Levi did not need to look at her to know what she was going to ask. Processing Hange's many demands over the years had gotten him used to the way her tone modulates when she makes her ridiculous requests.
"I haven't even said anything."
"You wanted my help capturing a titan right?" Levi asked, not even bothering to look at her. Of course he wouldn't, he couldn't even tell what face he was making as he stared blankly at the gate. “I told you, I'm not gonna help you out with that hassle of a favor."
She soon moved on to asking Mike.
                                         Passion Project
At first Erwin had disapproved. Levi had his own reservations about it as well, especially after almost losing one of his squadmates in the process.
After having found the notebook chronicling an encounter of a former soldier and a titan, Hange had gotten the required approvals which overpowered whatever feedback Levi would have had about it, personal or non-personal and Levi and his squad eventually got roped into the titan capture mission.
Hange had done her fair share of the research and preparation and the capture was quick and Levi had at least braced himself already for the cold snap that was going to come between them as Hange closed the long distance relationship she had with the love of her life.
He could hang out with Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther anyway.
Within a few weeks after that capture mission, Levi's squad ended up roped into another titan subjugation mission. It was within the walls when Hange’s titan got loose in the barracks.
Levi’s Special Operations Squad were staying back at the old survey corps headquarters when it happened. Erwin had sent a messenger to them demanding their help within an hour of the incident. With the amount of time it took to prepare their weapons and close the distance between those two locations, by the time, the five of them did arrive, the whole lab of Hange and the nearby rooms had been trashed.
Fortunately, most of the people present when the incident happened were battle hardened soldiers and they had kept casualties to the minimum of zero. With zero casualties, Levi at least then had the luxury to hyper fixate on more superficial things.
Like the mess the survey corps headquarters had turned into. The titan had been kept outdoors but it did look like the titan had gotten far. The entrance to the actual barracks was destroyed. The large door had been torn off its hinges, the door frames and some of the support on the ceiling had fallen over. The wallpaper towards the entrance had been peeled off in some areas and the floor was covered with sawdust.
Levi found himself having to remove his cravat and put it over his face just to comfortably pass through. There were broken glasswares on the floor, broken beakers and he traced them all back to Hange’s indoor lab.
A familiar stench lingered in the air, one he had smelled too many times on horseback, in open air during expeditions. Indoors, it was stronger and even with his cravat pressed close to his nose, he considered it far worse than what he would have encountered right next to its source.
The dissolution of a dead titan cut at its nape.
Levi heard the soft clatter of glass on wood before he saw Hange who was slowly organizing some broken glass on the center table of her room.
Hange’s research lab has always been messy and overtime, Levi had gotten used to it and had managed at least to muster the self discipline to curtail whatever natural impulse he had to clean it. It messed with her thinking process apparently.
The room he had walked into was much messier than he could have ever imagined messiness to look like. Many of the corners of the room had records, chemicals, test subjects, all damaged beyond recognition. Levi kept silent, only feeling the rage boil in his stomach as he saw it. He had tried to distract himself by looking through the room for any signs of at least some order.
“Squad leader, what... happened?” It was Petra who had broken the silence, asking what Levi had wanted to ask if he hadn’t been a little too focused on trying to keep his cool.
“We didn’t really have time to prepare the ODM gear so we had to be a little creative,” Hange explained. No one wore ODM gear inside the walls unless they were training so of course, they couldn’t prepare.
“I led the titan here, so it would be easier to capture him. Then I had him take the sleeping draught then my squad ambushed him from behind. We managed to minimize casualties so I’d still call it a success.” Hange let out a small laugh. “Thanks for still coming.”
Hange only continued from there as everyone else in the room listened in silence. Levi noticed it then. The crack in her voice and the twinge of sadness in her tone.
“But really… I didn’t want to kill him. The sleeping draught I used though is in a prototype stage so Erwin didn’t want to take any risks transporting him back to the tent we set up outside. It was a shame really. I was getting to know Cody already.”
Cody? The titan had a fucking name? Levi stood in silence, wanting the anger to wash through him before he talked to her. The implication of the name and the sardonic tone of Hange had him impatient.
“Condolences… Squad leader,” Oluo said, a little too awkwardly.
Hange let out a long and deep sigh. “I guess we’re going to have to capture a new one huh? Then I’m going to have to build this bond all over again from scratch.”
It was a combination of the message of her last few words and the crack in her voice that made Levi look up. It was the red in her face, her tear stained cheeks and the swollen eyes behind her glasses that made him set aside all attempts at a more peaceful confrontation. Before he could stop himself, Levi had looked up at Hange and approached her, taking strides much larger than he ever had before.
Levi grabbed Hange by the collar and held her close. “Stop taking advantage of this war against titans for your superficial desires. Stop roping the whole damn survey corp into your petty plans. Fucking hell Hange, one day you’re gonna get someone killed over your stupid little passion project!”
Hange’s face was so close to his at that moment, yet it was still far enough for Levi to see the split second shift from surprise to a mixture of befuddlement and possibly anger. "A passion project? You think this search for the secret behind titans to a passion project?"
“It’s a fucking passion project. All you’re doing with this petty obsession of yours is risking lives. It hadn’t gotten you anywhere and you’re not even getting anywhere substantial anytime soon.”
Levi was certain he was right about that first part. Hange hasn't made much progress besides figuring out the weaknesses of titans. The research on weaknesses has proven to be useful on the battlefield. With the capturing of titans, Levi knew Hange had been delving into the more complex and more mysterious origin of titans.
From the intel he had gotten, casually asking Moblit about Hange or nonchalantly visiting the research lab on his two off days a month, he knew Hange was still on square one. And how long since the capture mission? A month? If there was something worth finding beyond the dead soldier's notebook, Hange would have found it already.
Hange’s gripped Levi’s wrist. “Maybe if you didn’t kill the abnormal titan back then, we would have made a breakthrough.”
“They’re all the same mindless fucking giants ready to kill every single one of us.” With his brain muddled, Levi was scrambling for an argument. Why was he suddenly feeling guilty over killing a titan?
“They’re all the same? Really Levi? What do you know? All you did was kill them. I ate with Cody. I talked to him. I slept with him. I bathed him…" Hange's grip on his wrist was only getting tighter as she talked, and with it, the knot in his chest. "Cody was different."
Cody was a titan. He had to remind himself while at the same time, resisting the sharp pain on his wrist as Hange grip harder.
He locked eyes with her, attempting to trace the tears down all the way until her cheeks. Had she ever cried for someone like that? Had she ever mourned a death like that? He found himself stuck on her eyes though. The wonder in them was gone, replaced by a sort of wildness. It felt like he was talking to a different person.
Hange had always been eccentric. She had always been unpredictable. Levi ended up having to scold himself for being so invested in the phantom man the name Cody had manifested, and that petty annoyance that conjured up inside him at the details of Hange’s mini affair with a titan.
Is that what passion is? Or is that obsession? Levi started to wonder if his own eyes had ever looked that wild. If he had ever done something so stupid as to clandestinely or openly micromanage someone’s life, overthink the details down to miniscules, seeing the hope for truth in theories and hypotheses.
Or did Hange just have a little screw loose up there? Either way, Levi felt pathetic. It could have been from first hand embarrassment or second hand embarrassment. He could feel the blood rushing through his cheeks though and he felt the need to just suddenly vacate the room and be alone.
If Levi didn't look away quickly enough, he probably would have forgotten to breathe. "I'm not talking to you anymore. Go figure this out for yourself.”
“I'm not letting any of my men get killed over this,” He added a little later, a pathetic attempt to add some professionalism to the conversation between captain and squad leader.
For the first time as he walked away, there were no annoying protests or arguments from an overexcitable Hange Zoe. And for the first time after so many times before, Levi wasn’t hoping she’d follow him.
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cheri-translates · 4 years
Text
[CN] Shaw’s Exorcism Date (Eng Translation)
🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒
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Note: This date was translated by @redqueenschoice! It’s on my blog because she doesn’t want to put individual translations on hers...
Shaw’s Qixi Collection: Date ♡ / Call 1 / Call 2 / Event / Special Call
Check out Victor’s date (by @lucienism) and Kiro’s date (by @skyholders​) too! A lot of effort has been put in by these three lovely humans T^T💕 Do send them lots of love!!
On the night of Qixi, I had a terrible encounter and happened to be saved by Shaw. In order to repay the favour afterwards, I promised to run errands for him for seven days. Very soon, the seven days are coming to an end…
~
The crescent moon reminiscent of a bow hangs in the sky, the canopy of the heavens are painted pitch black. The little starlight that filters through the dense canopy of the forest scatters, and a line of men make their way through the mountain’s forest in a hurry, the swords on their waists still red with fresh blood.
A drop of blood falls onto the surface of a leaf, before it is trodden underfoot all of a sudden.
MC: Ahh…
Bandit Leader: Tell me the truth!
My head was harshly hit, and I let out a weak, muffled cry through the cloth stuffed in my mouth.
The image of my family’s pitiful state right before the moments of their deaths surface in my mind again, and my throat tightens, both my heart and mind unable to move on from the tumultuous upheaval in my life.
It was only supposed to be a trip to the neighbouring village to visit some relatives. How had it come to this?
Bandit Leader: The ones we’ve gone after the last few days weren’t lacking in anything, huh? Hiding so many goods…
Bandit Underling: That’s right. Especially this young girl here, she’s still young and healthy.
Bandit Underling One: Boss, before we sell her off, how about we… ehehe.
Upon hearing his perverted words and laughter, I start thrashing about in a panic, but the ropes wound tightly around my wrists and ankles just won’t budge no matter how hard I pull. Tears stain the blindfold over my eyes and I stretch my hands towards my waist, getting ready to put up a fight with everything I have - I’d rather die than be disgraced in such a way.
At this moment, however, he is interrupted by another low voice.
Bandit Underling Two: That’s enough. You can make merry anytime you like, but in this instance, it’s better for us to hurry and get on our way. I heard these woods aren’t to be trusted at night, and there are rumours that monsters come out at night.
Bandit Underling One: Big Brother, aren’t you a little too believing of these old folk tales? Where on earth would there be demons, and even if there were, I’m not scared of them!
Note from Red: and here, ladies and gentlemen, is the beginning to every horror movie ever
A cocky laugh leaves his lips, but the second he does, the surroundings in all four directions abruptly fall silent.
All of a sudden, a long, piercing cry rips the still night in two.
The sound is delightful to the ears, yet it is striking enough to tear through the haze - upon hearing it once, it would be irreversibly carved into one’s heart.
I only feel my body sway for a moment, but in the blink of an eye, I find myself shoved down onto the ground. The second my shoulder collides with the wet, slippery dirt, I hear the bandits’ terrified shouts flying to and fro above my head.
Bandits: Mon… Monster!!!
The snarl of a predator beast, the metallic hiss of a blade being unsheathed, frantic and hurried footsteps… followed by bloodcurdling screams.
The chaos and what I experienced a few hours ago are far too similar, the same sounds echoing inside my head until they slowly fade away to nothing.
I cannot see anything in front of me, and can only smell the faint scent of blood mixed with that of the cool forest suffusing my nose.
At this moment, footsteps gradually approach me.
I hold my breath, and feel cold sweat slowly trickling down my back.
Who is it? Did one of the bandits survive?
Or is it… the monster?
The owner of those footsteps stop before me, and a strong hand pulls me up from the ground.
The person lifts up my bangs and a fingertip meets my forehead, the ice cold sensation making me shiver.
Mystery Man: Hah.
He seems to have no intention of loosening my bindings, a peculiar silence filling the space between me and the nameless man before me. With the blindfold over my eyes, my senses of hearing and touch are my only links with the external world.
His breathing is very light, but with each exhale that leaves his mouth, I sense undeniable danger in the air. I can feel his gaze, like that of a wild predator surveying its prey, as if he would sink his fangs into me in the next second.
MC: Mmn!
Terrified, I duck my head away from him, trying to avoid his touch. Instead, I hear a short laugh coming from the person in front of me.
Mystery Man: Fine. Since you don’t want me to save you, just wait here on your own, then.
With these words, the heated breaths across my cheeks vanish and the man seems to disappear into thin air, leaving no trace. My surroundings are completely silent once again.
He left?
I don’t dare to confirm it myself, waiting where he left me for a moment. Once the sound of birds and chirping of crickets returns to the area, I let out a breath of relief and begin to move once again.
Since I was under constant scrutiny of the bandits, I didn’t dare to do this earlier. Now that there’s no one in the vicinity, I can finally reach for the small knife I had secretly strapped to my waist.
This is the last thing my parents, who died earlier this year, left me to defend myself with.
I carefully feel around for the handle of the blade, wrapping my fingers around it. Because I can’t see and my movements are restricted, the tip of the blade ends up nicking my skin a few times. Gritting my teeth, I bear the pain and work on severing my bindings.
Note from Red: guys this is the mc we need but don’t deserve-
When I finally pull off the blindfold around my eyes, I see that the moon has already moved considerably towards the west.
Apart from the goods the bandits had been carrying with them earlier, I don’t see anyone else when I glance about.
MC: Did those people… really get eaten?
At the thought of the danger I experienced earlier, and might still be in, I couldn’t care less about the injuries littering my body, and force myself to my feet with the support of a tree branch, preparing to leave the forest as fast as I can.
The mountain paths are confusing and complicated, and I feel like I’ve been wandering around in circles for awhile when I finally hear the sound of running water coming from nearby.
MC: That’s great! If there’s water, that means I can clean my wounds!
I hobble towards the source of the sound slowly, but just as I’m pushing through the underbrush, a sound suddenly rings out through the air, causing me to freeze where I stand in fear.
Mystery Man: Don’t panic, everyone has a share.
It’s the voice of that man from earlier!
Before I can react, there’s the sound of flapping wings in the distance, taking my attention with it. Several strangely shaped skeletal birds flap over, and from their shrill, clamorous cries, it sounds as if they’re begging for food from someone.
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I turn my head, only to see a young man casually lounging in a rowboat on the surface of a pool, next to a grove of trees. In his hand is a bunch of evening primroses. Under the light of the night sky, their petals give off a gentle glow.
The young man’s long legs are crossed, golden eyes half narrowed lazily as he looks at me. His expression is leisurely and indolent, and I see the petal of an evening primrose held casually between his teeth.
If I hadn’t encountered him in such an unusual circumstance, in the depths of a mountain forest, perhaps I would have thought he was the pampered young master of a rich merchant or businessman.
Mystery Man: Oh, that sentence wasn’t quite right. It should have been ‘every bird has a share’.
As if the skeletal birds can understand what he’s saying, they let out noisy chirps before obediently taking the petals from his hand one by one. The second the petals leave his palm, they dissolve into puffs of black smoke being swallowed up instantly by the skeletal birds.
Mystery Man: Today’s haul wasn’t too bad, there’s so much evil energy about, there’s enough for all of you to gorge yourselves on for a long time…
Mystery Man: Oi, you little idiot at the back, I caught you! Be a bit more honest, you’re not allowed to cut the queue…
Skeletal Bird: Squawk squawk?
Mystery Man: What did you say? Why didn’t I swallow up that little lady from earlier?
Mystery Man: Come on, do I really seem like a scoundrel who doesn’t take proper care of women… yeah, I am.
Trivia from Red: The word ‘scoundrel’ was translated from is the negative of a Chinese idiom 怜香惜玉, meaning a gentleman who takes care of the fairer sex. Shaw referred to himself as someone unlike a gentleman, so that’s how I translated it.
Skeletal Bird: Squawk!
Mystery Man: [clicks his tongue] I was just playing around a little. After I feed the lot of you, I’ll go back and save her, is that cool with you?
At hearing his words, I secretly make a face in his direction, muttering under my breath.
MC: I didn’t need you to save me… I got out on my own...
A skeletal bird suddenly caws in my direction. The young man’s eyes narrow instantly, the light in his eyes intensifying to something swift and fierce, before he turns his gaze right in my direction.
Mystery Man: Whoever’s there, come out.
I’ve been found out!
Note from Red: She, in fact, had been found out.
I subconsciously take a step back, but all of a sudden, the injury on my leg flares up with immense pain. My body loses balance all at once, and I find myself pitching backwards before I know what’s happening.
MC: Ah!
Note from Red: MC then proceeds to black out in typical otome heroine fashion… but let’s cut her some slack she was cool here T^T
I drift in the darkness, countless strange dreams blending together and surfacing before my eyes. One moment it’s the leering grin of the bandits, the next it’s the cawing of the skeletal birds I saw earlier. But the final thing is the long, piercing cry I heard in the forest.
When my eyes blink open, I find myself in an unfamiliar room.
It’s a perfectly normal looking bedroom, and the sheets under me are fresh and clean. Somewhere, I can hear the sounds of a vendor selling his goods and the voices of kids peddling flowers drifting in from outside the window.
Everything is so peaceful, it’s as if everything I experienced before has just been nothing but a dream.
MC: Where exactly am I…
Mystery Man: You finally decided to wake up.
A young man dressed in purple appears at the door in the blink of an eye. Startled, I sit up as fast as possible in shock.
MC: Who are you!?
At my question, he leans against the doorframe casually, and after seeing my expression, the corner of his lips turn up in a smirk.
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Mystery Man: What are you being so on edge for? I’m the benefactor who saved your life, you know.
MC: What benefactor, I clearly saw you on that lake earlier…
Mystery Man: You’ve had some entertaining dreams.
Note from Red: o k a y shaw
MC: Huh?
Mystery Man: You, little lady, fainted in the wilderness in the nearby mountains. If I hadn’t just happened to be passing by and decided to do a good deed, there’s no guarantee you wouldn’t have been eaten up by a demon.
What he’s saying doesn’t match up with what I remember, but the way he speaks so smoothly with absolute confidence makes it hard for me to doubt his words, and for a moment I question my own memories.
Could the glowing primroses I saw by the lake… and the skeletal birds… all been some sort of strange dream?
Mystery Man: It seems like you’ve slept yourself silly.
The young man runs a hand through his hair before straightening up once more, and I watch as he steps towards me until he’s right next to the bed, bending down to look at me more clearly.
His golden eyes flash with sly amusement.
Mystery Man: Since you’re awake, remember this clearly: you’re on my territory.
Mystery Man: The name’s Shaw, and I’m your benefactor.
Mystery Man: As for what you should do now, you should carefully think… about just how you’re going to repay me for saving your life.
-
Carrying a bucket filled with water, I stagger into the garden, out of breath.
The only other person in the garden is currently lounging next to a flower bed, legs casually swinging back and forth, the picture of idleness.
MC: May. I. Please. Ask. If. Sir. Benefactor. Has. Any. Other. Instructions.
Since the day I woke, in return for Shaw safely bringing me out of the mountain, I agreed to run errands for him for seven days. Today is already the seventh day.
Upon seeing me puffing and panting, his brow lifts in an amused arch.
Shaw: Hmm, go water those flowers over there while you’re at it, then.
MC: Shaw, don’t take your bullying too far!
Shaw: How am I bullying you? Weren’t you the one who said that you wanted to repay me by running errands? Or perhaps you want to do it by offering your body instead?
Trivia from Red: ‘Offering your body’ is translated from the Chinese idiom 以身相许, which means 1) pledge to marry or 2) have sex with a man of her own will.
I stare at him in horrified shock for a moment, face burning red from embarrassment. Grabbing the gourd dipper, I scoop up a full ladle of water and fling it at him with all my might.
Shaw ducks out of the way at lightning speed, and the spray of water splashes onto the flowerbed he had been lounging next to earlier, catching the light of the afternoon sun and forming a rainbow. Shaw’s laughter rings out clearly.
Shaw: I asked you to water the flowers, not water people. Or is your eyesight so bad you can’t tell a human clearly from a flowerbed?
MC: ...You!
These last few days, whenever we’ve had banters like this, I’ve never won even once. Determined not to fall into the same trap again, I ignore his words and instead ask a question.
MC: The seven days are almost up. Can I leave tomorrow?
Shaw’s smile turns teasing.
Shaw: Your house is opposite this mountain, isn’t it? Are you sure you won’t faint halfway on your journey back again?
MC: I definitely won’t!
Upon seeing my determined face, Shaw grins, opening his mouth to say something again. All of a sudden, however, the smile fades from his face.
MC: What’s the matter?
Shaw: Nothing’s up, I’m just heading out for a moment.
Shaw: If you want to go home, I’m not stopping you.
Shaw: But you’re not allowed to leave tomorrow. Stay put in my house, don’t take a step out of the compound.
MC: Why not?
Shaw doesn’t reply my question, and with a few strides of his long legs, he’s vanished from the garden.
MC: Shaw, wait a moment, you haven’t explained yourself-
MC: He’s gone?
This isn’t the first time he’s simply disappeared like this. With a shake of the head, I shrug off his warning. Besides, after tomorrow, I’ll have repaid my debt to him in full, and we’ll have nothing more to do with each other.
On the morning of the next day, Shaw still hasn’t returned.
I chew on my lip, looking at the doors for the seventh time, slightly hesitant to leave without bidding him goodbye.
MC: Well, it’s not like that rascal is going to bother about it anyway…
Trivia from Red: MC quite constantly refers to Shaw as 那家伙, which is a casual way of referring to a mischievous, rascally guy, and can be interpreted as ‘that guy’, or ‘that little punk’.
Even though I say those words, I find my footsteps slowing on the way out of the front courtyard.
MC: Perhaps I should leave him a letter.
I write him a letter and leave it on his table. Just when I’m about to leave, a painting hanging on the wall catches my eye.
MC: This is…
Taking a step closer to look at it more clearly, I realise that it’s a mythical beast that I’ve never seen before.
On the beast’s lower back are five tails, and on its forehead is a single horn. Just from the painting, I can sense a strong aura of pride and arrogance.
MC: This painting… it kind of resembles that guy.
Curiously, I reach out and touch a corner of the painting. All of a sudden, however, the sound of thunder rumbles outside the window.
I look out of the window, and am surprised to see that the sky, that was sunny just moments ago, is now blanketed with thick grey clouds, looking like it’s about to start pouring anytime soon.
MC: If I don’t leave now, it’ll be bad if I’m caught in the rain.
I fasten my cloak, pick up an umbrella and leave Shaw’s house.
Even thought it’s well into the afternoon, the little town is completely covered in a thick fog, as if it has been completely blanketed by a layer of grey. The little river that runs through the town has little lotus lamps dotting the surface, all of them floating along silently.
Just as I’m about to leave the little town, my mind gradually begins to calm.
MC: This feels a little strange…
The town that Shaw resides in might not have too many people, but on a normal day, it would usually be bustling with activity, the smell of firework smoke in the air.
Yet today, there isn’t a single person on the streets.
Note from Red: gee, i wonder why, mc-
The further I go from Shaw’s house, the faster the sky seems to darken and unease wells up in my heart.
MC: Maybe I should go back and wait for him…
[thunder rumbles]
The clouds seem to descend, and the sky darkens even further. I don’t know whether it’s just my imagination, but the mist seems to suffuse and thicken in the tunnel before me, and I can see the outline of dark shapes moving about inside.
Before I can look more closely at them,  there’s a sound behind me, and I turn around. The moment I do, I can’t help but feel shock race through me.
It’s the skeletal bird I saw that night on the mountain!
The bird hops onto the side of the bridge, cocking its head at me. When it opens its beak to speak, what comes out isn’t the shrill squawk of a bird, but the familiar cool and clear voice of a man.
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Bird!Shaw: Finally found you… what are you doing here?
MC: Shaw!?
MC: How are you… this bird is-
In typical Shaw fashion, the bird does not answer my question. Instead, it turns its head to look at the tunnel, and lets out a clicking sound even though it doesn’t have a tongue to do so.
Bird!Shaw: Come with me.
With that, it flies to me, taking my sleeve between its beak and tugging me in the opposite direction. Being pulled along into a run with it, all my words come out garbled.
MC: Wait a moment… What, what exactly is going on? Just now, what was that? And you, what are you?
Bird!Shaw: You have so many questions.
MC: It’s not me who has too many questions! It’s just that you’ve hidden too much from me!
Bird!Shaw: ……
Bird!Shaw: It’s the Ghost Festival today.
MC: Ghost Festival… Hungry Ghost Festival!?
Trivia from Red: The Ghost Festival, also known as the Hungry Ghost Festival, is a traditional Buddhist and Taoist festival held in certain East Asian countries. According to the Chinese calendar (a lunisolar calendar), the Ghost Festival is on the 15th night of the seventh month.
In Chinese culture, the fifteenth day of the seventh month in the lunar calendar is called Ghost Day and the seventh month in general is regarded as the Ghost Month (鬼月), in which ghosts and spirits, including those of deceased ancestors, come out from the lower realm. The deceased are believed to visit the living as the realms of Heaven and Hell and the realm of the living are open and both Taoists and Buddhists would perform rituals to transmute and absolve the sufferings of the deceased.
Bird!Shaw: That's right. This is when the nine yin converges, and evil grows easily. It is the day when the Ghost Gate opens, and evil and living souls intersect. It will be more troublesome than a typical day.
Bird!Shaw: I distinctly remember telling you to stay put in my house, who would have thought you’d actually dare to leave and make trouble for me.
As the bird says this, it turns back to eye me. Even though it has no eyes, I can clearly see the words ‘annoyance’ written in its eye sockets.
At that moment, a feeling of unhappiness washes over me, and I can’t help but open my mouth to speak.
MC: All these things… you could have just told me earlier. You made me wait for you for the entirety of yesterday… without so much as an explanation.
MC: Shaw, am I really not worthy of your trust? Am I a burden to you?
The bird stops fluttering its wings for a second before it turns its head, not saying another word.
For a moment, I wonder if Shaw is angry with what I said, but after a while, a small snort of laughter leaves the bird’s mouth, ringing in my ears.
The sound is so clean and clear, it seems like Shaw is standing right next to me.
Bird!Shaw: I don’t think of you as a burden.
Bird!Shaw: I can tell you my true identity, it’s just that at that moment, you can’t be afraid and you’re not allowed to regret it.
MC: I won’t be scared, and I wouldn’t regret it.
Bird!Shaw: Then follow me closely.
The clouds close in on us, and the first drops of rain begin to fall.
It’s going to rain.
I follow after the bird closely, and each time, I narrowly manage to escape every encounter with a dark shape. Just as we’re about to leave the small town, however, it’s as if all the spirits suddenly sense me, and they all turn and start rushing towards me!
Bird!Shaw: Don’t bother about them! Just run towards the exit of the town!
The second it finishes those words, it lets out a caw. As if rallied, a hundred of the skeletal birds suddenly fly over from behind the wall. Like arrows loosed from a bow, they descend on the mass of black spirits and attack them with their sharp beaks and wings, keeping them tightly packed together.
But there is a limit to the number of birds, and the pitch black spirits can’t be stopped.
Understanding that the birds can’t buy me all the time in the world, I grit my teeth and run as hard as I can for the exit of the town.
Even before I can take two steps, pain runs up my leg, as if I’m being yanked back by something. I fall painfully to the ground.
Withstanding the pain, I look down to see a skeletal person grabbing tight onto my ankle, refusing to let go!
No matter how hard I struggle, the person refuses to let go, and only holds on tighter and tighter. Watching the rest of the dark shapes slowly approaching, I yank out something I have tucked in my waist, and bring it down as hard as I can on the person.
Shiing!
A loud wail rings through the air, but the grip loosens enough for me to pry it off. Looking down in my hand, I clasp the dagger that had saved me seven days ago, I’ve never let it leave me even once.
But in the time it took for me to do all that, it’s too late for me to escape the town.
I grip the dagger tight.
The dark shapes draw closer, before they finally rush at me ferociously.
[thunder rumbles intensely]
Thunder rumbles throughout the sky, like the beating of a thousand drums, the galloping of a hundred thousand horses, unceasing. In that second, hundreds of white hot lightning bolts flash through the air before me, bathing the entire sky in bright white light.
Note from Red: that can’t be good for your eyes...
A large hand covers my eyes from behind.
Note from Red: who needs sunglasses when we have shaw’s big hands T^T
Shaw: You idiot, why are you just standing there for? Do you want to keep your eyes or not?
His tone is teasing and lighthearted, but it makes me feel safer than any promise or vow in the world.
MC: Shaw…
Shaw: I didn’t think you’d be able to save yourself, not bad.
Shaw: No wonder I-
The rest of his words are cut off by the rumble of thunder, the flash of lightning. I feel raindrops land pitter patter on my nose and cheeks.
In order to let me hear his words clearly, he leans down and puts his lips right next to my ear when he speaks, breath hot against the shell of my ear.
Shaw: Turn around, open up your umbrella and count to ten in your head before you open your eyes. Got it?
I nod with all my strength.
Shaw releases me and I obey his instructions, opening the umbrella and beginning to count.
MC: One, two, three…
The strikingly familiar cry I heard that night in the forest rings out from behind me, leaving yet another deep impression in my heart.
MC: Four, five, six…
The rain slows to a gentle drizzle, and the oppressive air hanging over the town seems to be slowly fading.
MC: Seven, eight, nine…
Shaw… Shaw…
MC: Ten.
I turn around.
Within the bright flashes of light, I catch sight of a silhouette of the five tailed mythical beast.
-
Evil spirits dealt with and the dark clouds gone, it seems like the town has finally gone back to normal.
Because I injured my foot, Shaw takes me to a small boat, and the two of us drift along slowly on the river. As the boat is slowly carried along beneath a bridge, Shaw, who is lazily sitting at the front, plucks a flower from the side to play with.
The lotus lamps bobbing alongside us glow softly, and what was initially supposed to be a gloomy Hungry Ghost Festival resembles more of a pleasant evening of a wedding night.
Shaw’s purple robes flutter in the wind, and under the light of the lamps hanging from the boat, the horn on his forehead seems to be softened with a soft glow.
The scenery before me reminds me of the time we first met on the lake back in that forest, the only differences being that he’s now missing a few birds, and that I am here with him.
MC: Right, why haven’t I seen any of the other town residents today?
Shaw: You think everyone is like you? I already warned them beforehand not to leave their houses, it’d make way for the souls and I can do what I need to do.
MC: Hahahaha…
Shaw: What are you laughing about?
MC: I’m laughing at you - with that image and disposition, who would have guessed that you’re actually a great immortal?
After hearing my words, Shaw lifts an eyebrow, looking slightly miffed.
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Shaw: Then what did you think I was, a monster?
MC: I think that you’re Shaw, that’s all.
Shaw stares blankly at me for a moment.
MC: Shaw, on the day of Qixi, when you brought me out of the mountain, was it you who rescued me from those bandits as well?
Even though my words are phrased as a question, my tone is sure and certain. There’s a flash of surprise in Shaw’s eyes, but he doesn’t reply. He casts his eyes downwards, manner insipid.
Shaw: That isn’t a good memory to have for the Qixi Festival. Just forget it.
MC: I won’t forget it.
What he says is true. The Qixi festival is deserving of good and happy memories, and being by bandits certainly isn’t that, but still…
I look earnestly at Shaw.
MC: But on that day, you also appeared.
All around us, the lotus lamps flicker softly in the night, jade green smoke curling up faintly, the cool sounds of running water in my ears.
MC: I feel like this is the most memorable, and also the most treasured Qixi I have ever experienced.
This world’s thousands of relationships cannot be clearly defined by these dates, but on this Ghost Festival, my heart soars more than it did on the day of the Qixi Festival.
Shaw watches me silently, before he puts down the flower in his hand and leans forward, closer to me.
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His hands carry with them the body temperature of one that is not human, fingertips lifting up my bangs once again.
Inch by inch, his finger trails down, as if mapping out my face.
His golden eyes are locked firmly on me, gaze intense and captivating like that of a wild beast, not letting my eyes deviate from him in the least.
This time, I don’t shy away from him.
Shaw: The last time, didn’t you ask for my true self?
Shaw: I’m Zheng, and I consume evil energy as sustenance.
Shaw: I’ve never felt like I’ve done this to help humans, and I’ve never considered myself to be an auspicious sign like the legends say.
Shaw: When I’m hungry, I eat.
Suddenly, my hand is grasped tightly in his, and he lifts it to his mouth.
He bites down slowly on my index finger, sharpened teeth scraping over delicate skin, and slight pain radiates out from where his lips are wrapped around my fingertip.
Shaw: Even if that’s what I am, you’re not going to be afraid of me?
Even though he’s clearly giving off a sense of hidden danger and his words are meant to provoke me into giving him a response, my heart skips a beat at the smile on his face.
MC: I…
Shaw: I… what? Speak louder.
With a self satisfied smirk that looks reminiscent of a cat that got the canary, he nips on my finger again.
MC: I said, I won’t be-
Before the word ‘scared’ can leave my mouth, my finger suddenly slips free of Shaw’s mouth to land on his lower lip. My fingertip softly runs against his lips, breath warm and eyes shining.
It’s clearly… a kiss.
Note from Red: yes mc you get flustered NOW when your finger was on his lips but not when he was literally biting on it priorities on point we stan
In a moment, my entire face burns bright red and I hurriedly pull back my finger.
MC: Shaw!
Shaw grins at me as he releases my hand, his gaze on me filled with an emotion I can’t quite recognise. Having fallen for his tricks yet again, my heart races and I desperately look for something to say, but didn’t expect that Shaw would beat me to it.
Shaw: Shouldn’t you be heading home?
The second he says that, I’m reminded of my original purpose: to bid my farewells to him before leaving for home.
I nod at him for a moment, before I shake my head energetically.
MC: Shaw, I…
Shaw: But today, haven’t I saved you once again?
MC: ...Eh?
Shaw: The timing’s just right. I’ve polished off all the evil energies and spirits here completely, it’s time for a change in scenery.
Shaw: The town near your home… is there anything entertaining?
He speaks so quickly that I have no time to think.
MC: Entertaining… well, not really, but there’s a lot of good food there! Recently it’s been chestnut and lotus seed season, so there should be a lot of confections sold on the streets…
MC: Wait a second, you’re not thinking of following me home, are you?
Shaw: Of course I am. How else are you going to repay this huge favour you owe me for saving you?
His words are bold and upright, but the grin on his face is that of a satisfied hunter.
Shaw: Before you fully repay the favour… don’t even think about escaping from me.
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rhosyn-du · 3 years
Text
Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Two
Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post
Chapter Two
They didn’t talk more about it later. Jace barely saw Simon at all over the following couple weeks, in fact. It’s not that he was intentionally avoiding Simon, but they both had final exams to study for, and Simon was wrapped up in guitar ensemble rehearsals for the winter concert on top of that. If Jace had spent a little more of his study time in the library than was strictly necessary and that just happened to prevent any further discussions of dispays of physical affection and practice dates, that was entirely beside the point.
What Jace hadn’t counted on was how unprepared he’d feel pulling up outside the Queen Anne style townhouse he’d called home for most of his childhood. He suddenly wished he’d let Simon talk him into driving together and using the drive as a last minute planning session, even if it meant they’d need to coordinate their trip back to Boston. As much as he’d been avoiding talking about their plan, it really only occurred to Jace on the drive how much he wished they actually had, you know, a plan.
“Wow,” Simon said, hopping out of the hand-painted van he’d parked right behind Jace’s car. “Is that an actual turret?”
“Yup, gotta love those late 19th century architectural fads,” Jace answered as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk. “The house belonged to Maryse’s grandparents, and I’ve never been able to tell how much she actually likes the style and how much is just childhood nostalgia, but she hasn’t even changed much of the interior except for renovations and repairs.”
“I have a hard time imagining growing up in a place like this,” Simon said as he joined Jace with his own suitcase in hand. “And it’s not like my mom’s house is tiny or anything, but this is just...” He waved a hand vaguely at the house. “A lot.”
He didn’t ask why Jace was sharing a tiny apartment furnished entirely secondhand if his family lived in a house like this, and Jace didn’t offer an explanation.
“You don’t need to be nervous,” Jace said, even though there was plenty to be nervous about. “I promise the house doesn’t bite.”
“Yeah, less worried about the house than the people in it,” Simon told him.
“I thought you were, like, the parent whisperer,” Jace teased. “Isn’t that why you offered to come with me? Because you make a great boyfriend? Trust me, as long as Alec and Izzy think you make me happy, they’ll love you, and you know more about comics than anyone I’ve ever met, so Max will love you regardless.”
“Okay,” Simon said, releasing a heavy breath. “Okay, thanks. You’re right, I just got a little intimidated by the house, but this is all going to be fine.”
“Maryse is probably going to hate you, though,” Jace continued, keeping his face carefully deadpan. “She hates everyone we bring home. It’s like a rite of passage. But you’re great with parents, so I’m sure you’ll at least avoid intentional food poisoning.”
Simon stared at him in horror, and Jace couldn’t keep a hit of a smile from breaking through.
“I hate you,” Simon told him.
“If it makes you feel any better,” Jace said, “I’m pretty sure the food poisoning wasn’t actually intentional.”
“Wait, there was actual food poisoning?”
“Come on,” Jace said, heading toward the door. “I want to get inside before we freeze to death.”
“You are such a dick sometimes,” Simon muttered, catching up to him.
Then, he slipped his free hand into Jace’s like it was a totally normal thing to do, and Jace had to catch himself from tripping over the steps.
“Careful,” Simon said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m not going to make a very good impression on your family if you fall and break your neck before we even get inside.”
And there was just nothing to say to that, to how uncomfortable it wasn’t to have Simon’s hand in his like this, to the way it made him want. So Jace simply rolled his eyes and pushed open the front door, letting the scent of home wrap around him like a warm blanket.
“Okay,” Simon said quietly as he surveyed the entryway, complete with antique chandelier. “Feeling a little intimidated again.” And it was so easy for Jace to just give his hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Hey, you made it,” a warm voice greeted them. “With as bad as traffic has been, we thought you’d be another hour at least.”
“Hey, man,” Jace said, dropping Simon’s hand so he could pull his brother into a hug. “People must be staying home for the holidays this year, because we barely hit any traffic at all.” He glanced around. “Where is everyone?”
“Iz should be here any minute, Max is holed up in his room playing video games with his friends, and Magnus is helping Mom with some last-minute grocery shopping for dinner tomorrow.” Alec held out a hand to Simon. “I’m Alec, since Jace apparently can’t be bothered to make introductions like a civilized person.”
“It’s okay,” Simon said, giving his hand a quick shake, “I gave up on the idea of Jace being civilized the first time I saw him eat pizza that had been sitting out on the counter for three days.”
“That was your pizza,” Jace pointed out.
“Yeah,” Simon said, “which I was going to throw away because I forgot about it for three days.”
“On the subject of uncivilized,” Jace said, turning back to Alec, who was looking just a little too pleased, “you really sent Magnus shopping with Maryse? Buddy, if you decided you don’t want to marry the guy, just break it off with him. You don’t have to throw him to the wolves like that.”
Alec’s tiny smile became a little less tiny and a whole lot softer. “Magnus and Mom have actually been getting along lately. She wanted his opinion on wine pairings, so they went to the store and left me here so I can pull the bread out of the oven when it’s done. It’s very weird, but also nice.”
“That does sound very weird,” Jace told him, “but I’m glad things are working out and Maryse has found some level of chill somewhere.”
“Hopefully that means I won’t get poisoned,” Simon said.
Alec snorted. “If you want to avoid it, you should probably avoid mentioning you know about that. Or any other embarrassing family stories Jace might have shared with you.”
“And don’t eat anything Izzy hands you,” Jace added. “Anything she cooks probably won’t kill you, but the taste will make you wish you were dead.”
“So, I should just fast while I’m here,” Simon said. “Good to know.”
Jace led Simon upstairs to drop off their bags while Alec checked on the bread.
“Just toss your bag anywhere,” Jace said, opening the door to his old room. “We can argue over who gets which side of the dresser later.”
“Sure,” Simon said cheerfully, “as long as we can be civil deciding who gets which side of the bed.” He stopped just inside the doorway. “Wow, okay. The apparently very small bed.”
And this really was something that should have occurred to him, Jace realized. It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered that he’d be sharing a bed with Simon. They’d even talked about it, briefly, and agreed it was no big deal. But Jace hadn’t considered exactly how much smaller his childhood bed was than the generous queen he slept in back home. It was technically large enough to fit two grown men, but only technically.
“Don’t worry,” Jace said, falling back on his trademark bravado, “I won’t get mad if you cuddle me in your sleep. I know you can’t help it if your subconscious recognizes that I’m irresistible.”
“I’m more worried about your freakishly sharp elbows,” Simon muttered.
“As long as you don’t snore or steal the covers, you won’t have to worry about my elbows,” Jace told him. He was planning to keep his elbows, and the rest of him, as far away from Simon as possible. Which, given the size of the bed, was maybe three inches.
“Dude, I do not snore,” Simon protested. “You know that; we live together.”
“You absolutely snore after your fourth drink.”
“I wasn’t planning to get drunk with your family,” Simon said, tossing his bag onto the bed.
“You say that now,” Jace said, leaving his own bag next to the door. “But wait until you get the full Lightwood Christmas experience before deciding you want to spend the whole thing sober.”
“If your family drives me to drink, you don’t get to blame me for snoring,” Simon countered. Which was probably fair, but Jace was saved from having to admit that by the sound of voices coming from downstairs.
“That’d be Izzy,” Jace said, “and we’d better get down there before she accuses me of trying to hide you from her.”
“Jace,” called a singsong voice, right on cue, “quit making out with your mystery hottie and get down here so we can actually meet him.”
“You should be careful making demands like that,” Jace called back. “What if I’m not wearing any pants?”
“We’ve all seen it. Get your ass down here “
“I like your sister already,” Simon told him.
“You say that now, but wait until she decides you count as family. She won’t be any better with you.” He took Simon’s hand. Because it helped sell their relationship. Because he could. Simon laced their fingers together, and Jace tried not to feel any way about that at all as he led Simon back down the stairs.
They only made it a couple steps before Simon came to a complete stop, almost causing Jace to trip the rest of the way down the staircase. He heard Simon mutter a soft ‘oh crap’ at the same time a bright, redheaded whirlwind came rushing up the stairs at them.
“Oh my god, Simon?” Clary grabbed Simon into a giant bearhug, effectively tearing his hand out of Jace’s. “You’re Jace’s mystery boyfriend? How did I not know about this? You didn’t even tell me you were dating anyone, you jerk! What happened to best friend gossip privileges?”
Clary pulled back from the hug, and now that Jace could actually see her face, he could see the hint of concern she was trying to hide under her wide smile.
“Clary. Hi,” Simon said, eyes wide. “I was going to tell you, I swear. It’s just, this is kind of new and so...” He trailed off, looking panicked. His eyes caught Jace’s. “But, uh, yeah. This is Jace. My boyfriend. Jace, this is my best friend, Clary Fray.”
“Yeah,” Jace said, looking between the two of them and feeling more than a little out of his depth. He’d planned for things to be weird, but not this weird. “We’ve met.” He flashed Clary a smile. “Fray, huh?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t keep his name. Not after...after everything. Fray is the name Mom used before she married Luke. It’s the name I remember her having when I was little, so.” She shrugged. “I filed the paperwork to have it legally changed the day I turned eighteen.”
“It suits you,” Jace told her, and let himself be pulled into a tight hug that he suspected was as much because she needed one as that she was glad to see him. Clary had never told him much about the biological father she barely knew, but she’d told him enough to know that Clary held him responsible for her mother’s death, even if the courts had cleared him of any wrongdoing.
“Thanks,” Clary whispered, before surreptitiously drying her eyes on his shoulder and pulling back to flash a smile that was less forced than Jace expected. “So, tell me how this happened without me hearing about it.” She bumped Jace with her shoulder. “And if it’s so new, what possessed you to subject Simon to your family holidays?”
“Hey,” Izzy said, walking up behind Clary and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. Jace had to admit, they looked...well, right together. “That’s my family, too, you know.”
“Oh, I know,” Clary said, offering a soft grin over her shoulder. “And the fact that I’m here should tell you exactly how much I love you.”
“Fair,” Izzy said, then looked at Simon. “So, how’d my brother convince you to join this circus?”
“We made a trade,” Simon said, straight-faced. “I put up with his family for Christmas and he puts up with mine for my cousin Rachel’s wedding.” He leaned in and told Izzy in a stage whisper, “Also, I’m weak for his smile, but don’t tell him I said that, because he will abuse it.”
“You say that like I don’t already abuse it,” Jace said, sliding his arm around Simon’s waist in a mirror of Izzy and Clary’s pose. “And to answer your earlier question, us being officially together is new, but we’ve been sort of on the verge of dating for ages. Practically since we started sharing an apartment last year.”
Clary let out a peal of delighted laughter. “Oh, you’re the roommate. It makes sense now.” Before Jace could ask what made sense, she was pulling the both of them into a tight hug. “I’m really happy for both of you.”
“If I’d known you were going to be this excited, I definitely would have mentioned it sooner,” Simon said, pulling back from the hug.
Jace tried to catch his eye, wondering what on earth was going on. He knew both Clary and Simon well enough to know he was missing something, but he had no idea what it was. Simon ignored him, and that just made Jace more suspicious.
“Come on,” Izzy said. “You can have your hug fest later. Right now, I want to help Alec get things set up in the kitchen and maybe surprise Mom by getting dinner started before she gets back.”
Jace and Clary exchanged a panicked look, and Jace frantically searched his mind for excuses to keep Izzy busy. He didn’t actually want a repeat of the food poisoning episode, after all.
“Actually,” Simon said, turning a bright smile on Izzy. “I was kind of hoping you’d be willing to show me your Lego Star Wars collection before we get too wrapped up in family stuff. Jace mentioned you have the deluxe Imperial Star Destroyer set from the early 2000’s, and I’ve never actually seen one in person.”
“Oh,” Izzy said, looking torn. “I’m not sure—”
“We can help Alec in the kitchen,” Clary said quickly. “You two go do your nerd thing. I knew this was inevitable when I finally introduced you two anyway. And this way I get the chance to harass my bestie’s new boyfriend without him in the way trying to keep me from learning the embarrassing details.”
“You know, on second thought—” Simon began, looking slightly panicked.
“Come on,” Izzy interrupted, smiling brightly and grabbing his hand.
Simon flashed Clary a betrayed look, then looked to Jace for support. Jace simply smiled at him.
“Don’t worry, love muffin,” he said mildly. “I’d never intentionally embarrass you.”
“I want you to know that I hate both of you,” Simon said before allowing Izzy to drag him back up the stairs.
“My collection is all still in my old room,” Izzy said. “Clary and I have been looking for an apartment big enough I can actually move the rest of my stuff out of here, but so far we haven’t found anything in our price range.”
Jace turned back to Clary. “Exactly what kind of embarrassing stories were you hoping for? Because I have many.”
Clary shook her head. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got more embarrassing Simon stories than you do. I’ve got almost two decades worth. But I was actually hoping to talk to you alone anyway, and this seems like the best chance we’re going to get.”
Jace followed her down the stairs and into the study. “Sounds serious. You planning to give me a shovel talk?”
Clary laughed, shaking her head. “No, I know you, remember? I’m not worried about you hurting Simon. Well,” she amended, “not any more than I am about him hurting you.” She met his eyes with a soft smile. “You might be the only person I know with a heart as big as Simon’s, as much as you try to hide it.”
Jace looked away. It had been two years since the last time he’d seen her, and she could still see right to the heart of him. He didn’t want to know what she’d see if she kept looking. “Clary—”
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” she teased. “But I didn’t actually bring you out here to talk about Simon. I wanted to apologize.”
Jace frowned, looking back at her. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.” He was more than a little grateful not to have Clary grilling him about his entirely fabricated relationship, but he wasn’t sure where this conversation was going.
“No, I do,” she insisted. “I promised to keep in touch when you moved away, and I didn’t.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Jace said, even if maybe it had been at first. Those first few months at school had been hard. Jace always thought he was used to being alone, especially after his mother’s suicide, but he found out just how much he’d come to rely on his new family when he didn’t see them every day. They’d kept in touch, of course, but with Izzy immersed in her studies and Alec all wrapped up in his new relationship with Magnus, it wasn’t anything like what it had been when they were all under one roof.
For a while, he and Clary had been in touch nearly every day, sometimes texting multiple times a day. Jace told her about his classes and how much he liked Boston, and Clary told him all about trying to narrow down which art schools she wanted to apply to. It was almost the same sort of easy friendship they’d had before he left, after they agreed they were better off as friends.
But after a couple months, Clary’s messages came less and less often, and eventually stopped altogether. Jace tried not to let it bother him, but he started drinking a bit too much and going to a few too many parties. Which was how he’d met Maia, his attempts at flirting somehow leading to him getting his ass handed to him at beer pong, and soon he found himself with an entire group of new friends. Although Maia insisted for almost a year that she and Jace were merely antagonistic acquaintances.
Clary gave him a look that told him she knew exactly how full of it he was. “It was a shitty thing to do, and I was a shitty friend,” she told him. “Especially because I did it on purpose. Izzy and I started getting close and I started to have feelings for her, and I didn’t know what to say to you about it. I didn’t know how to even talk to you about what was going on in my life without mentioning that she was becoming such a big part of it.”
“You didn’t actually have to hide it from me, you know,” Jace said. “I was surprised when Izzy first told me, but I’m mostly just glad you’re both happy. And seeing you together, I know you both are.”
“Thanks,” Clary said. “I didn’t want to hurt you or make things weird. For a while, I thought I could just ignore what I was feeling, but Iz is just... She’s not someone you can ignore, you know?”
“Oh, I know exactly how hard my sister is to ignore, believe me.” Jace stopped, considered, then admitted something he had never said—would never say—to another person. But this was Clary, and he knew she would never repeat it. And even if she did, he could always play it off as part of the act. “She and Simon have that in common. You know, I actually thought I hated him at first? He’s so enthusiastic about everything, and so sincere, and just.” He shrugged. “Not the kind of person I thought would ever do it for me.”
“But he won you over with his boyish charm?” Clary guessed.
“Mm,” Jace agreed. And the way he loved without reserve. Not just his family and friends, but his music, his favorite films, even the crappy nachos from the 7-11 down the block from their apartment. Simon loved every part of life, and being around him, Jace could almost imagine what that felt like. “Well, that and his abs.”
“Can’t forget those,” Clary laughed.
“Not with how often he eats breakfast shirtless,” Jace agreed. “Come on. If we aren’t in the kitchen by the time Izzy gets back downstairs, you know she’ll try to help Alec herself, and I was kind of hoping for dinner to be edible.”
~~~
Dinner was surprisingly painless. Maryse was more relaxed and happy than Jace had ever seen her, and he couldn’t help wondering how much of that was related to the very unsubtle smiles she kept exchanging with Clary’s stepfather. Even Max, who was deep in throes of preteen scorn, grudgingly admitted that Simon being in a band was “pretty cool” and joined in on some of Simon, Clary, and Izzy’s excited nerd talk that went entirely over Jace’s head.
After dinner, they retired to the living room for eggnog and carols. Jace limited himself to a single cup of Magnus’s infamous eggnog, knowing better than to let himself get drunk when he was putting on a show for his family. Or sharing his tiny bed with Simon.
As usual, Jace let himself get pushed over the piano to play. He felt something in him settle as soon as he rested his fingers on the keys of Maryse’s baby grand, the feel different and so much more familiar than the ancient keyboard he had back in Boston or the well-used uprights in the practice rooms at school.
When Jace had first come to live with the Lightwoods, he’d been afraid to touch the piano. His mother had put him in lessons as soon as he was old enough, but she hated to listen to him play and often chastised him for not being a better player, saying he should be better at it with how talented his father was. Now, he understood that it was just another manifestation of the combined grief and mental illness that led to Celine’s death, but at the time he’d hated how awful he was at playing, no matter how much he enjoyed doing it.
But Maryse knew he played and encouraged him to use her piano. She told him that it had been her father’s, and though she’d taken lessons herself as a child, she’d never really loved it the way he had. She said that the instrument deserved to be loved, and as long as Jace loved playing it, she didn’t care how good he was or wasn’t.
It was the first time he’d really felt like this could be his home.
“Okay,” Jace said after the third version of O Tannenbaum with ridiculous altered lyrics—this one courtesy of Simon rather than Max or Clary, about an ill-fated toad who chose the wrong moment to cross the street, “I think my fingers are done for the night.”
“Oh, come on,” Clary said. “Simon and I have at least a dozen more of these we came up with when we were kids.”
“When we were little, I only knew the lyrics to the Christmas songs they played on the radio, so Fray made up silly lyrics to the other ones and told me they were real,” Simon explained. “And it made her so happy that I went along with it even for the couple I did know.”
“There will be plenty of time for more singing tomorrow,” Maryse said. “But if I know this one,” she continued, smiling at Max, “we’re all going to be dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn for presents.”
“Mom,” Max whined, “I’m not a kid anymore. I know the presents will still be there whenever I get up.”
“I seem to remember someone who looked an awful lot like you waking us up before sunrise last year,” Magnus said with exaggerated confusion. “Perhaps you have a twin I haven’t met?”
Max fixed him with a withering look. “Last year, I was eleven. This year I’m twelve,” he said, as though that explained it.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’ve grown out of it,” Alec told him. “Because I intend to sleep in. And if you try to get me out of bed early, I’ll remind you of this conversation.”
“Oh, no need for that, darling,” Magnus said cheerfully. “I’ll just barricade the door before we go to sleep so he can’t get to us.”
“Brilliant,” Alec said, giving Magnus a frankly sappy smile. “I knew there was a reason I loved you.”
“And on that note,” Jace said, “I think I’m going to head to bed before I die of sweetness overdose.”
“Oh, please,” Magnus said, giving him an unimpressed look. “We all saw you and Simon making eyes at each other over those cookies you were frosting earlier.”
“It’s true,” Izzy said before Jace could protest. “You don’t get to tease Alec about being a sap anymore, not now that we’ve all actually seen you with someone you love.”
Jace froze, his mouth half open, then quickly snapped it shut. It made sense that Izzy would assume. He’d brought Simon home for Christmas, after all. That was the story they were selling even if they hadn’t actually discussed it, even if it wasn’t something Jace had said or even implied. And whatever he did feel for Simon, it certainly wasn’t love. It was, at best, a friendly crush. A very intense friendly crush.
Izzy seemed to realize her mistake, glancing between him and Simon with a look of dawning panic.
“No, you’re misunderstanding how this works,” Simon said easily, because of course Izzy’s words hadn’t sent him into a panic the way they had Jace. “Jace gets to tease Alec, and you, and you both get to tease him back.”
“Yep,” Clary agreed. “Those are the rules, because that means I still get to tease Simon.”
“Please,” Izzy said. “Clary and I are too sophisticated to be sappy.”
“I’m pretty sure I heard you call Clary ‘cuddle bug’ earlier,” Alec said.
“And I definitely saw you laugh at that terrible joke she told at dinner,” Jace added.
“She ate one of the cookies you made,” Max accused.
“Yeah, sorry, cutie,” Clary said. “We’re really pretty sappy.”
“Fine,” Izzy huffed. “But I just think you’re all jealous because I’ve got the cutest girlfriend.”
“Yes, Izzy,” Alec said drily. “You’ve uncovered my secret. I’m extremely jealous of your girlfriend.”
“I knew it,” Izzy said smugly, as though Alec had been perfectly sincere.
“Definitely in danger of dying of sweetness overdose,” Jace said.
That set off another round of teasing, this time with Izzy throwing in not so subtle attempts to drag Maryse and Luke into it. Jace wasn’t sure why Izzy was so determined to make the two admit there was something between them. It was obvious there was just from the way they acted around each other. Maryse would tell them when she was ready, just like she had when she and Robert filed for divorce.
It was almost another hour before Jace finally made his way up the stairs toward his room. He was surprised when Simon rose to follow him, but didn’t say anything until they were back in his room.
“I’m surprised you didn’t stay to nerd out with Clary and Iz some more.”
“I get to talk to Clary all the time,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, it’ll be easier to keep up the whole fake boyfriend thing if I don’t let her get me alone. She’d definitely figure out something’s up if I let her start grilling me about our relationship. Also, you don’t get to call me a nerd when you know just as much about Star Wars as I do.”
“It’s impossible to grow up with Izzy and not know way too much about Star Wars,” Jace said, pulling off his shirt and tossing it over a chair. “Are you still sure about doing this? Neither of us counted on Clary, and I’ll understand if you want to back out.”
“Huh?” Simon said, sounding distracted. Jace turned to look at him and thought he detected the faintest flush on Simon’s cheeks when he met his eyes. “I mean, yeah, no, I’m not backing out.” He gave an uncomfortable shrug as he pulled a set of pajamas out of his suitcase. “The last thing I want is to have to explain this whole thing to Clary.”
“Good point,” Jace agreed, turning around to put on his own pajama bottoms. It was tempting to watch Simon change, but it was also a very bad idea. “I don’t want to think about what she’d have to say to both of us if she knew.”
There was a beat of silence before Simon asked, “So, do you, um, have a preferred side of the bed?”
Jace turned to look at him, only a little disappointed to find Simon fully dressed in his pajamas. As usual when someone asked a question he didn’t want to think about, Jace flashed a smirk. “In a bed this small, I usually just take up the whole thing.”
“Well, unless you want me on top of you, you should pick a side,” Simon said, unimpressed. “Because I’m not sleeping on the floor.”
“I’ll take the left,” Jace said quickly, trying and mostly failing to avoid thinking about exactly how much he did want Simon on top of him. “I’m just gonna hit the bathroom real quick.”
Which was how Jace found himself locked in the tiny guest bathroom, lip caught between his teeth as he frantically tugged at his cock. He hadn’t planned on jerking off, but he couldn’t get Simon’s words out of his head, and he sure as hell wasn’t getting into bed with Simon half-hard, which was really the only other option.
He could picture it far too easily. Simon pressing him into that ridiculously tiny bed, hands gentle but firm, mouth just a little bit desperate.
He came to the thought of rutting up against those ridiculous abs.
By the time Jace cleaned himself up and returned to his room, Simon was nestled under the covers on the right side of the bed. Seeing him like that made something in Jace’s chest clench, and he flipped the light off just so he wouldn’t have to look anymore.
“‘Night,” Simon said as Jace slid into bed, taking care to stay entirely on his side.
“Don’t even think about snoring,” Jace answered.
He lay in the dark for a long time, staring into the darkness, listening to the sounds of the city that didn’t quite drown out the soft breathing of the man beside him. He tried not to think about how easy and relaxed the night had been, how perfect it would have been if only half of it weren’t a lie.
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dr-charlie-eppes · 3 years
Text
SHOOTING MY SHOT - A RedFinch College AU
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, @kathreestars. I was your Secret Santa as part of the @newsies-secretsanta gift exchange. 
I really hope you love your gift. It is a RedFinch College AU, as per your request. I have never written either of these things, so I hope it’s good and in character (but no promises :D!) It turned out WAY longer than expected, too :P. Oopsie daisies! 
The story begins below the cut, and I will also include a link to when I have cross-posted AO3 (sometime in January).
Please enjoy!
“Shooting My Shot” - A RedFinch College AU
0000
It was the night before Albert moved out of his childhood home and went to college. He was nervous and excited and rushing through packing his boxes. Sure, he should have done this earlier, but that didn’t matter now. Folding his last sweatshirt into a box, his mind wandered.
Tomorrow was the first day of a new chapter of his life. He was about to move to New York City to study paediatrics, starting his career as a children’s nurse. It was what he’d wanted for years; he was more than happy it was coming true. All the same, he was full of nervous energy. The next few days held so many unknowns. He was struggling to wrap his head around what was going to happen next.
A small mountain of pristine cardboard boxes, a visual representation of what mattered enough to bring with him, lay before him. Each was adorned with a great many strips of duct tape to keep them shut. He hadn’t labelled any of them since he would just unpack them the second he arrived, and he only had to open them to know what was inside. It seemed like a waste of time to go digging through his things to find a Sharpie to deface the boxes.
His phone dinged twice is quick succession. One was from Jack, letting him know he was on his way over from next door. They were travelling to college together in the morning, seeing as they had made it into the same school. The second was from Race, wishing him luck.
Race had been Albert’s best friend since kindergarten. They hadn’t spent more than about three days apart since they met, living in each other’s back pockets and practically joined at the hip for as long as anyone could remember. They had planned on going to the same school, rooming together through college. However, Race had been accepted last minute to his dream school in Brooklyn and was leaving Albert, following his passion for dance. Albert wasn’t mad, not at all; in fact, he was thrilled for his friend. Brooklyn wasn’t that far, so he was sure they’d see each other often. However, without Race, he wasn’t sure who he’d be rooming with.
Continuing to pack his boxes, Albert’s mind wandered to his roommate situation. He was, admittedly, nervous. Without Race, he would be rooming with an unknown student. By the time he’d worked that out, the deadline had passed to submit a request to be paired with someone specific; He would be added to the lottery to be paired up at random with his new roommate. He was worried about that: sharing his space with a whole stranger, stuck together in close quarters, learning to get along. What if he was paired with someone disrespectful, or homophobic, or creepy, or just plain annoying? Albert knew he could be hard to get along with, tending to mistime jokes and miss queues, rubbing people the wrong way. He could sabotage their relationship without even knowing. And even if he didn’t, that didn’t guarantee it’d be smooth sailing. They might not get along, but what could they do? They’d be stuck together for at least two semesters. Dorm rooms were sometimes roomy, but not enough to avoid each other. 
The anxiety wasn’t productive: Albert knew that. He couldn’t help it. Change was hard; he didn’t feel ready.
And Jack Kelly was not helping matters. Sure, Jack was one of his best friends - basically a brother, really - but he was an ass. He would do anything to embarrass or inconvenience Albert. That was in part due to their prank war, which had started in ninth grade when Jack replaced his gym shorts with a purple tutu and was still going strong on their first day of college. Of course, he’d never miss an opportunity to get Albert back. Nothing was sacred, no object or situation safe from Jack’s interference. All things considered, Albert should have seen this coming.
Jack offered to help him carry them to the car; there were a few, and it was already late, so Albert accepted. That was his first mistake. Jack took one look at them and started goading him. 
“You should label your boxes, Al.” He said as he picked them up.
“No.”
Then, on the landing, “How are you gonna know what’s in ‘em? It’ll be a pain to unpack.”
“I know what I packed, Jack.”
“They look naked without labels.” He whined as they walked out the front door.
“Shut up.”
They started to load them into the car, slotting them in the trunk with the lightest ones on top. 
“What kind of psychopath just puts their stuff in a box and closes it up?” Jack questioned with an edge of challenge.
Albert rolled his eyes, taking a medium sized box - possibly containing his desk lamp - and stacking it on top of the others.
“This ain’t a pass-the-parcel, Al, you’re allowed to know what’s in the box.” 
“If you don’t shut up, Jackie, so help me, you’ll be trying to run without kneecaps.”
The seemingly endless prods and pokes continued as they loaded all his unlabelled boxes into the car. Jack continued his stream of nonsense, his arguments devolving into snipes and jabs. Albert shut the trunk forcefully, fixing Jack with a look.  
“I ain’t labelling ‘em,” he stated with finality, “I know what I packed, and I’ll just unpack when I get there. If they ain’t labelled, Ma can reuse the boxes for something else later without having to scratch the writing out. It’s just easier.”
Jack gave him an unconvinced look but shrugged and let it go. Al should’ve known that was suspicious. Jack never could back down from an argument. Why would this one have been any different?
His second mistake was leaving the car unlocked. They lived in a good area; there wasn’t any reason to lock it. Besides, who would want to steal a bunch of blank boxes full of sweatshirts and towels? However, this turned out to be his downfall. The lock was the only barrier between Jack and his boxes, the last defence. Without needing to steal Al’s mom’s keys, there was nothing standing in his way. He was free to wreak havoc on his things.
His third mistake was not checking his boxes in the morning. They were in a hurry to get on the road - which was not unusual - so Al planned ahead and double checked everything when he brought the boxes down. He knew he had everything he needed, saving time in the morning. Without those last minute checks, he had no chance of catching Jack's little prank before they arrived at the campus. 
Jack hadn’t let on that anything had happened. Crammed in the back seat, surrounded by his own boxes and bags, he appeared to the world perfectly angelic. Well, as angelic as Jack Kelly could be. In truth, he was the same snarky and sarcastic man he’d always been, cracking jokes like normal. Albert had no reason to suspect a thing.
So you could imagine his shock and regret when he lifted the trunk to find his boxes, all labelled in Jack’s scratchy block letters with obscene and embarrassing labels. Roadkill - California to Texas. Grandma’s ashes - This way up! (Decorated with arrows pointing to the bottom of the box, naturally). Meditation CDs - Pokémon, Ru Paul, My Little Pony. And right on the top, the Crown Jewels of Jack Kelly’s mayhem: Dildos - Size M-XL.
It was hard to embarrass Albert - it really was. He’d spent his high school years being tormented and humiliated by Jack and had grown a tolerance for this kind of thing. Carrying a box labelled ‘dildos’ across campus was far from the worst thing he’d ever had to do. However, he did worry about what his roommate might think. If he was worried about being paired with a weirdo, others must be too. This was one of those first impressions you couldn’t take back. Joy of joys.
Undeterred, he grabbed the box and braced for impact. Making his way swiftly and unashamedly to his dorm, he ignored the stares and snickers of his peers. Look at my box of dildos, folks. Take it in. They could have guessed that this was a prank, but the surprise of it still caught most of them off guard. Albert pressed on through the crowds, rolling his eyes.
If they can’t tell that this is a joke, then they ain’t smart enough for college.
He just hoped his roommate could see the humour in it.
Speaking of his roommate, he rounded the final corner with his package. The door was slightly ajar, and he could see shadows moving under the door. Taking one final, bracing breath, Albert shuffled the box onto his forearm and pushed the door, embracing his fate.
A trick of timing, the universe’s cruel joke, caused Albert to enter the doorway at the precise moment that his new roommate fired a sticky dart from his Nerf gun. The dart shot through the air. It travelled with a great deal more speed than it should, zipping through the room. No doubt it would have continued into the hall had the doorway been empty. However, it was stopped by Albert’s moving box, adhering at the dead centre of the “O” in dildos.
All movement and sound stopped as Albert looked eyes with his new roommate.
What a first impression.
0000
Moments earlier, Finch had been alone in his dorm. The last few weeks had been a blur of emotions, and he was trying to wrap his mind around it before his new roommate arrived. His first impressions were often lacking, and he hoped that he could start out this relationship on the right foot.
His decision to come to this school had been rushed. Life had spiralled out of control, leaving bad blood between him and his folks. He got an offer to move here to Manhattan, far from them, and he jumped on it. His new life was stretched out in front of him. King of his own destiny, he surveyed his territory. And sure, a cramped college dorm room that he had to share with a stranger wasn’t much of a kingdom. But the hum of the radiator sounded like freedom, and the carpet was soft. He could learn to be happy here.
He was already unpacked, all three of his boxes piled up in the corner. In his hand, he held six plastic Nerf targets. He’d bought them at the dollar store in the ninth grade, using sharpshooting as an escape from life. Since then, his skills had grown, and he frequently moved them around to give himself more of a challenge. Mapping the room, he weighed his options. He was, of course, limited to his side of the room, which made it harder to place them in a way that would challenge him. Still, he was resourceful. And maybe his new friend - he really hoped they would get along - might let him spread them around a bit.
There was one classic place, though. In all the time he’d had these targets, one place stayed constant. He went and hung the first bullseye at the dead centre of the door on the inside. He could hit it with his eyes closed, in his sleep, or with his hands tied behind his back, but he didn’t care. The target on the door had been the most stable relationship he’d had in years, always there, always within reach.
He dumped the rest of the targets on his bed, liberating his Nerf gun from his backpack. It had been his first, and it was the favourite of his whole collection. Modelled like a sawed-off shotgun, it was easy to aim and familiar. He’d carried it with him everywhere since he’d gotten it. This little green and orange eyesore was practically an extra limb, an extension of Finch himself. He’d gotten more high-power guns since, ones that could throw darts faster than he could blink, but he loved this one the best. 
Loading in a sticky dart, he aimed for the door and pulled the trigger.
In a statistically remarkable series of events, someone pushed the door open at the precise moment he pulled the trigger. They got in the path of the dart, the new target of the shot. Thankfully, the person was carrying a box - otherwise, they would have been hit square in the chest; not exactly a great first impression. The dart, however, sailed gracefully through the room and stuck to the stranger’s box with a satisfying sticking noise. It lined up perfectly with the writing on the box, centred in the middle of one of the letters. If he’d been aiming for it, Finch would have been impressed with his shot. As it stood, he wasn’t sure how to respond.
Bullseye, I guess.
0000
Both men stood, frozen in time. All the sound had been sucked from the room, leaving only a thick silence. Neither was sure what to do to break it. Albert wanted speak - he really did. Wanted to laugh, introduce himself, settle in. However, his mouth was dry, and any words died before they could reach his throat, all systems at a standstill. He couldn’t even walk through the door for fear he would break the spell.
Why? Well, the man in front of him - his new roommate, the one holding the Nerf gun - was insanely hot.
He looked like a Renaissance painting. Classically beautiful, without being plain. A long thin face that reminded Albert distantly of a horse, smooth angles that caught the light and held it. Bright pearlescent teeth and unnaturally brown eyes. He looked as if he had stolen the light from the sun, soaking in its warmth and making it his own. All his brightness and sharpness was contrasted with his soft, green sweatshirt and bare feet, the picture of domesticity. All of it was at odds with the keenness of his shot, the Nerf gun still aimed dangerously at Albert’s chest. Nonetheless, every inch of him was beautiful.
Of all the things he’d been afraid of, falling in love with his roommate was the least expected.
He was suddenly a lot more worried about his first impression.
0000
He needn’t have worried: because on the opposite side of the dorm, the same things were going through Finch’s head.
Finch had always been a sucker for a redhead; the man in front of him, with his strikingly fiery curls, was no exception. Every line of his face was beautiful - from the creases around his eyes to his goofy grin. His eyes were a sweet brown, like Nutella or hot cocoa, deep and inviting. They caught the light like a Pokémon trainer catches them all. His lips were pulling slowly out of a grin into a shocked gape. Even in his confusion, he was breathtaking. His arms cradled his moving box like Cupid cradles his bow - invitingly and full of undiscovered love. His legs were obviously strong, judging by the way his jeans were stretched over them. 
Finch couldn’t move or breathe or look away. He needed to lower his Nerf gun, introduce himself and explain, something, anything. Instead, he stood, transfixed and in awe. If this man were the moon, then Finch were the tides - unable to move without his say-so. His every thought was directed by this beautiful stranger.
His new roommate. 
His roommate.
His.
That snapped him out of it. 
0000
The beautiful stranger cleared this throat.
“Sorry!”
“Nice shot,” whispered Albert.
The stranger smiled, brushing the back of his neck. He spoke again.
“Uh, hi?”
Albert nodded. That was exactly what he’d been trying to say. 
“Hi.”
A moments more of silence settled around them. Neither was entirely sure how to come back from that introduction, and both were too transfixed by the other to risk saying the wrong thing.
Albert eventually found his courage. Shuffling his moving box onto one arm, he extended his hand in greeting.
“I’m Albert.”
Tossing his Nerf gun to his bed, the stranger followed suit.
“Patrick, but the guys back home called me Finch.”
“Why 'Finch'?” Albert asked.
“I put a bird in the principal’s office 'cause he was homophobic,” the boy - Finch - shrugged, “It’s my greatest achievement to date.” 
Albert didn’t know if he could fall more in love than he was already. His heart felt like it might explode. This adorable, Nerf-gun shooting, homophobe-hating man was all he could think about. He was distantly aware that he needed to bring his stuff in from the car, needed to put down the dildo box and unpack, but he was happy just standing in the doorway watching Finch.
However, his standing was misinterpreted by his new crush, who suddenly smacked his forehead and stepped to the side.
“Oh, sorry, I’m totally blocking the way. Come in.” He swept his hands to the side like a waiter, ushering Albert in.
He took his chance, stepping in and putting his box on the empty bunk. It tipped merrily onto one side, revealing another of Jack’s secret messages. Albert flopped his head back with a groan. Finch caught sight of the new scribble as well. He couldn’t help but chuckle.
Albert excused himself to get the rest of his boxes from the car, but also so he could get some fresh air. Finch was beautiful and badass. He was unlike any other guy Albert had met. If he blew his chance with him, well, he’d never forgive himself. He might be getting ahead of himself, but he kept wondering what Finch might look like in a tux and what song their first dance would be to. His mom had always called him a hopeless romantic, so had Jack. He was inclined to agree. He loved the idea of falling in love and marrying his favourite person ever, having a husband to share life’s moments with. And yeah, he’d only known Finch for ten minutes, but every fibre of his being seemed to think this guy was the perfect candidate. 
He daydreamed all the way back to the dorm, trying to think of something charming to say to Finch. A pickup line? Or maybe some poetry. Where was Jack when you needed him? That man could charm the pants off of anyone. Although, from memory, he and Davey met when Jack accidentally tipped his paint water out over the art room balcony and all over Davey’s head. 
As he stepped through the door of his dorm, he took a breath and prepared to ask Finch out. However, his new roommate was already speaking, pointing at the box on his bed.
“Okay, I gotta ask-“
“-It’s not dildos, I swear,” Albert cut him off.
“-who defaced your box?”
“Oh.” Wasn’t expecting that. “Um, Jack. Pain in my ass.”
Finch nodded, snickering, and gestured the box in Albert’s arms. This one read TIME MACHINE - DISASSEMBLED. 
“So is he ya boyfriend or something?”
“Oh, fuck no.” Albert laughed - imagine him dating Jack, yuck - and clarified, “He’s sorta my brother? Lived next door to me and my Ma. He’s just up the hall now, helping Davey unpack.”
“Davey?”
“Jack’s boyfriend,” Albert shrugged. He wondered what Davey saw in Jack but decided not to think too hard. Davey was a least twice as smart as Albert would ever be; he would have his reasons. He expressed this to Finch, who laughed and offered a similar anecdote about a friend called Spot who was dating some extroverted Manhattan twink with a sarcastic streak a mile wide. 
“They’re perfect for each other because no one can understand them,” Finch smiled, “the peanut butter and jelly of people.”
They continued to laugh and talk about their friends, bonding over their weird friends with weirder names. 
Albert ducked out for more boxes. He moved every crass title from his car to his dorm, unpacking them as he went to discover their real contents. Finch offered the help him carry them back to his mom’s car when they were empty.
On the way, he asked about Jack’s prank again.
“So, Jack’s a prankster?”
Albert nodded, “Yeah, we’ve had a prank war going since the ninth grade.”
“War, huh?” Finch raised an eyebrow. “How you’re gonna get him back?”
“No idea yet, but it’s gonna be big.”
Finch was sure that it would be. He told Albert as such.
“Let me know if you’ll be wanting help,” he smiled, playfully elbowing his ribs, “I’m a sharpshooter, after all.”
Albert wasn’t sure how that would come in handy, but he filed it away for later use.
0000
In their first week together, they circled around each other, teasing and testing. It was an easy tension of learning each other’s habits and personalities.
As it turned out, Finch was a troublemaker. With his keen eye and trained aimed, he and his Nerf gun could wreak all kinds of havoc. Albert found himself stuck with more darts than he’d ever seen. He learned to listen for the quiet ‘snick’ sound of the gun being loaded, hyper aware of the bright orange darts as they landed around him. 
Finch used his talents for good, sometimes, shooting bananas off the hand with a carefully modified ‘knife dart’ - which turned out to be a Nerf dart with a straightened out paper clip in it. He could also switch the lights off from his bunk with one flick of the trigger. Both were pretty cool tricks, but Al found himself loving Finch’s cheeky moves more.
He had returned to the dorm after class to find that Finch had used his posters as target practice, using strategically placed darts to block out certain letters and leave crude messages for him. The next day, he was greeted with a flurry of darts as he entered the room, Finch raining down on him with his most quick-firing gun. He also left Albert notes on the dorm door, where anyone could read them - thanks for letting me borrow your toothbrush! and Adam from the butt-lift place called - they can fix your pancake butt! and Where’s the haemorrhoid cream?
Albert loved it. In return, he reset Finch’s ringtones to weird and embarrassing sounds and short-sheeted his bed. He also stole Finch’s hats and sweatshirts, basically combining their wardrobes into one mega-wardrobe. He also replaced all of Finch’s stationery with sticks of gum, which turned out to be less of a prank and more of a genius ice-breaking hack. 
They grew closer. All the pranks led to them getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes, their insecurities and routines. The more Albert learnt, the more he wanted to know. Finch was becoming his best friend. The crush he was nursing grew into a warm and unexplainable thing. Each passing day brought new moments of friendship and growth. Finch challenged him, distracted him, entertained him. He was bright and annoying, glued to his hip like a loyal puppy and floating around him. Albert grew to love his company, loved how he would ask questions while you studied - that was more helpful than he could have known, helping Albert to identify the gaps in his knowledge. Finch was the puzzle piece he had been missing.
Finch felt the same, although Albert didn’t know that. He loved the way that Albert would respond to his cheek and snark with jibes of his own. Albert enjoyed his pranks and put thought and time into retaliating. He was quieter than Finch, happy to just share the room with you without needing conversation to fill the void. He seemed to light up when Finch asked him questions, explaining the complex medical topics he was learning. He was full of adrenaline and grace, not often static. Finch found himself following Albert’s movements when he paced, drawn in. Albert was his muse. He couldn’t get enough of the beautiful redhead.
0000
At the opening of their second week, Albert returned to their dorm with a twinkle in his eye and a bagel in his hand. Finch, with Nerf gun in hand, shot a dart into the hole of the bagel.
“You!” Pointed Albert.
“Me?” Questioned Finch playfully.
“How would you like to help me get back at Jack?”
Finch nodded, “I’m in. What’s the play?”
As it turned out, Jack had planned a secret date for Davey. They hadn’t had a lot of time since coming to college, so Jack wanted to do something nice. He’d told Albert that he and Davey were going to have a picnic on the sports fields in the evening. Super romantic, at least it was supposed to be. 
“I want to crash their party,” explained Albert, “but I need your help.”
He then explained that they needed a way to get in and out fast. If they lingered, Jack’s wrath would rain down upon them. Speed is of the element, Finchy, Albert had said. Luckily, Albert had become sort-of friends with one of the security guards. This guard, Denton, agreed to ‘accidentally’ leave the keys in one of the school’s golf carts for their use. As long as they returned it in one piece, no one would be the wiser. 
“Where do I come in, Al?” 
“I want you to get your best Nerf gun -one o’ those ones that shoot really fast. While I'm driving, I want you to spray ‘em with darts. I got some toilet paper to throw. I just didn’t think that was enough. Plus, you’ve got a wicked sense of aim. I could use a little help.”
It was a solid plan. Like Jack’s box prank, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. Albert assured him Davey would think it was funny too. He was almost as much a part of the war as Jack or Albert. If anything, he'd take it as an invitation to get his own revenge. No one’s day’s gonna be ruined. 
“I’m your guy,” smiled Finch, “when do we start.”
“We ride at six. Wear something stealthy.”
0000
Six o'clock rolled around quickly. Finch had ducked out to the dollar store, picking up some more sticky darts. When he returned, he found Albert. His crazy roommate was dressed like a cartoon cat-burglar, complete with a black turtleneck and war paint. He was hastily stuffing toilet rolls into his backpack. They were armed to the teeth with Nerf darts, toilet paper, and biodegradable party confetti. 
“Looking good, Al,” laughed Finch.
He was also dressed for the occasion, a mismatched all-black ensemble. He even opted for some fingerless gloves he saw at the store. He had never been one to half-ass a prank. Besides, going all out might impress Albert. 
“Ready?” 
“Born ready, Finch.”
“Funny, I thought you were born ‘Albert.’”
A roll of toilet paper hit him in the head.
0000
The plan was in motion.
Denton had left the cart parked by the dormitories. They were set to go, just waiting for confirmation that Jack was in position. Sure enough, Davey posted a sappy picture on his Snapchat story, toting Jack’s merits as a caring boyfriend. They were clearly on the sports field, spread out on an honest-to-goodness checked rug, picnic basket and all. The sunset painted pastel lines behind them.
As the light of sunset faded to night, they started up the cart. Crammed in with the ammo and a truly gigantic nerf gun, Albert and Finch were pressed into each other’s sides. Unbeknownst to them, both were enjoying the contact, pining for more than just the necessary contact of the cart. They drove at agonisingly slow speeds towards the sports fields, staying in the cover of the shadows of the campus. If they were caught, it would all be over. Luckily, the pair thrived on adrenaline.
Their trip to the sports fields was short and silent. Albert couldn’t help but hold his breath as if the sound of it might give their location away. It didn’t occur to him that the sounds of the cart would get them caught before his breathing would. Finch kept directing him with hand signals, guiding the cart through a maze of secret tunnels that kept them hidden.
Eventually, the great secrecy of it all got the better of them. Albert could picture them, both dressed like the bad guys in a cartoon spy movie, zooming through the campus with reckless abandon. They weren’t going fast at all - he thought it might not even bruise if he fell out of the cart. But here they were, leaning and ducking with each move as if they were in a Fast and Furious movie. Finch was holding onto the roof to stabilise himself. They were surrounded be a hoard of completely harmless weapons, yet they acted as if they were heading into a war. That last thought, along with the image of what they must look like, cause Albert to giggle. 
Once.
Twice.
A snort.
Then Finch started. 
Their silent voyage was overrun with laughter. Finch was shaking, trying to contain his sounds. Albert was hiccuping out barks of laughter. The noise grew until it drowned out the hum of engines. Try as they might, there was no stopping it. Tears filled Albert’s eyes. Finch took hold of the wheel and directed the cart as he snorted. They continued on, the most joyful caravan in the country. They couldn’t stop their noise until they saw the sports fields.
It was a bracing and sobering experience. Two weeks of thinking and planning had led them to this. The importance of their mission overcame their joy. They pulled their adrenaline back in, the noise level dropping below the noise of the cart. It was time.
The light from the fake tea light candles on the rug guided them. A moment of quiet and a few hand gestures revealed that there would be no way to sneak up on them. The cart was too big, the moon too bright. The element of surprise would be lost too quickly if they approached cautiously. Albert made the motion for ‘step on it’, pressing his palm out in front of him. Finch nodded. Mouthing the words, Albert counted down from three. He threw the golf cart into gear, shredding across the lawn at max speed.
The pickup in speed caused them both to shout. Any semblance of sneaking in was abandoned as Albert and Finch began a deafening war cry of whooping and cheering. They bounced across the field, the cart shaking with effort. One hand on the wheel, Albert loaded himself with a roll of toilet paper. Finch aimed his Nerf scope, fixed on the happy couple.
Jack caught sight of them too late. 
“ALBERT!”
A shower of Nerf darts cut off his cries. Albert hit him square in the chest with a roll of paper. Davey, shocked and excited, burst out gleefully at the shower of multicoloured confetti, picking up handfuls and tossing them at his boyfriend.
The drive-by took only a few seconds. There was chaos as they unloaded all they had at Albert’s friends. It would long be remembered as the highlight of the whole prank war. The picnic rug, previously set out romantically with breadsticks and candles, was now littered with darts and rolls of paper and a sprinkling of reflective paper strips. It was glorious. Strangely, it looked like the leftover mess from a child’s birthday party. In Albert’s eyes, this was perfect revenge.
“That’s for the boxes, Kelly!” He screamed as they sped off.
The cart barrelled across the fields and out of sight, leaving Jack and Davey in its wake. The boys, happy with their successful mission, tore off into the night in fits of giggles once more. They didn’t stop until they were well out of sight. Only when they had pulled the cart to a stop outside the security office did they finally calm down.
Pressed close and sweating awfully, they breathed through the rush of adrenaline. The whole evening had come to a crescendo. They both smiled, calming down.
“That was awesome,” Albert laughed, “Thank you, Finchy.”
Finch slung an arm around him, “Always, Al.”
They stayed intertwined for a second. Albert liked the feel of being so close to Finch, tucked into his chest safe and warm. He didn’t want to pull away, but he was becoming more aware of how close they were. This was closer than friends. He was sure Finch knew that.
Pulling back, he looked to his roommate. 
“Finch?”
“Hmm?”
He took a deep breath. It was now or never. He was going to say something.
“Would ya like it if we-“
He was cut off by Finch’s lips on his. 
Oh, yeah, let’s do that.
His brain went offline, surprised by the kiss. Finch’s lips were dry from the cold night air but soft and cool against his own. He could feel the flush of Finch’s cheeks. He gasped through his noise - a noise of shock and approval.
Finch pulled back as he tried to reciprocate. He looked him cautiously in the eyes.
“I sure hope I didn’t read that wrong.”
Albert chuckled. He pulled him in by the shirt, nearly tipping Finch out of the cart with his enthusiasm. This kiss was perfect. Longer and deeper than the other, they were chest to chest by the end. They weren’t yet used to this motion, so their chins and noses bumped as they moved, prompting little giggles between their lips. It was the happiest kiss Albert had ever had. Finch was warm and close and all his for a few moments.
Finch bit his nip with a mock growl, pulling back to smile at him. Albert looked flushed and overwhelmed. However, the smile that split his face betrayed his emotions.
“I hope that’s my last first kiss ever,” Finch whispered.
Albert looked shocked, but his smile didn’t fade. 
“Okay,” he nodded.
They tumbled out of the cart a minute later. They knew that wasn’t the end of it. Finch was sure he wanted to marry Albert, but there was more to do. They needed to get to know each other more and finish college and meet each other’s families. They weren’t at the end yet, but this was a damn good place to start. 
They walked back to the dorm with hands intertwined. No matter what happened next, Albert knew this was the start of a beautiful life.
0000
He was right, too. He and Finch got married six years later, after college. Never had there been a better couple, better friends, or better lovers. They had grown into the most badass and unstoppable team.
They drove away from their wedding with cans tied to the back of a golf cart.
0000
Again, happy holidays and seasons greetings, @kathreestars. Hope this is everything you hoped for. Best wishes, Corbin.
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kyluxbigbang · 3 years
Text
Kylux Big Bang 2020 wrap-up and feedback survey results
Hello everyone!
We've concluded yet another Kylux Big Bang, fifth one we've run since TFA first came out - a huge THANK YOU to all our participants who keep this bang going! Amazing job everyone, we hope you've had as much fun with it as with the previous ones, and if this was your first ever KBB - we hope you've enjoyed it, and will join us for the 2021 KBB :D
We've closed the feedback survey, thank you to everyone who responded! Your comments will help shape the coming Kylux Big Bang. Here's the tl;dr summary, (for more info please see below the cut):
Ratio of artwork to wordcount: just right
Time-frame to complete works: just right, we will have a similar timeframe for KBB 2021 with posting in November
Check-ins: were useful, just about the right amount, and will be included again in 2021 KBB
Pairing process: went well, we've addressed more detailed comments below
Type of bang for 2021: REVERSE! The KBB has a tradition of swapping between the type of bang every other year, and over half of responders voted for a reverse bang. For the KBB 2021 artists will provide prompts, and writers will pick from them!
Mods for the 2020 KBB: will be announced once the 2021 bang starts
Our email is still [email protected], please feel free to contact us there if you’d like!
We will keep running the discord server for KBB 2021 to help people reach out to the mods and other participants
We will update the schedule as soon as the 2021 KBB starts. We are hoping to open the sign-ups for KBB 2021 in early May - keep an eye out on our blog and twitter for the sign up announcement around that time!
For more details about the survey results please check below the cut.
Everyone, regardless of previous involvement in the fandom and their skill level, is welcome to participate in the Kylux Big Bang!  We look forward to many of you signing up for the 2021 KBB :)
KBB Mod Team
Nearly everyone thought the ratio of artwork to wordcount was just right (93%; 94% last year; 5% thought there were too many words per piece of art and 2% that there wasn't enough), and the majority of people (79%, 77% last year) thought the time-frame to complete the works was also just about right, with 14% saying it wasn't enough and 7% saying that it was too much time. We will stick to a similar time frame, starting KBB 2021 around May and finishing in November for the Big Bang and September for the Mini Bang.
Almost everyone (95%; 15% more than last year) finished their projects by the end of the event and was satisfied or highly satisfied with the 2020 KBB (88%).
Most people (86%; 96% last year) found the check-ins useful, with majority of participants (74%, 91% last year) having found the amount of check-ins to be just about right. 16% of respondents thought there were too many, 10% thought there were too few. 86% of all respondents would like to have check-ins in the next KBB. We will continue using them, and review their number.
62% of people want to see a reverse bang this year, and we have taken into account the fact that the previous bangs operated on a switch basis: a regular bang followed by a reverse, followed by a regular. We are happy to announce that this year’s event will be a REVERSE bang, following the regular bang from last year :) Artists will submit their story ideas, and writers will pick from them.
We were happy to hear that almost everyone who voiced their opinions about the pairing process thought it worked well!
As usual, we got the one singular comment about the pairing process being somehow 'rigged'. Here is a link to the pairing algorithm we use every year since 2017. To increase the anonymity of prompts and bids, mod @glass-oceans encoded each prompt with its own unique code (the 'prompt code' everyone has been using for their project), and the artist bids were similarly encoded to avoid bias before the pairing up was done by mod @brainyraccoons based on those codes alone. If people still have concerns and doubts about the pairings, mod @brainyraccoons is more than happy to discuss those, you can message him on tumblr/twitter under the same username or on discord at brainyraccoons#5678.
We would also like to note that most other big bangs operate on a ‘first come, first served’ basis for pairing, where whoever is first to bid on a prompt gets it. We think that is highly unfair to people who cannot access the bidding on time or experience technical difficulties, therefore we employ the pairing algorithm even though it adds at least 15 extra work hours (that’s almost half a week for an office worker) for one mod and is quite a complex process. We do it because we want everyone to have an equal chance at getting their favourite prompts. If you think the process is somehow ‘rigged’, you are in no way obliged to participate in the KBB, and we will not address any further comments of this nature.
We've received a comment asking for space to write down people whom the participants do not wish to be paired up with - this information can be included in the last question on the form which asks whether you would like to let us know of anything else regarding your pairing and prompt preferences.
We are not sure what the comment asking about factoring in time zones for pairing relates to - if the person in question could send us a private message and explain, we would be happy to hear them out!
Other feedback we've received has been extremely positive and encouraging, and we are happy to hear that you've enjoyed the project! We sincerely thank everyone who took the time to share their love for the KBB with us, the project wouldn't be possible without you!
To address the concerns and queries that were raised:
This year we will be changing the way the posting windows work, as many people have raised their concerns over them, and we acknowledge that the posting didn't go as smoothly as anticipated. We will be following the format almost all other Big Bangs take, and people will be able to pick ONE DAY, and one day only, for their posting. ALL art and fic will have to be posted within that time-frame. If there are reasonable mitigating circumstances for people missing their assigned posting date, we will do our best to find a good solution - as always, we will help however we can, and there will be options to post after the original deadline has passed, provided that the team keeps a line of communication open with us at all times when difficulties arise, and all parties know what's happening. Changing the way we do posting should also help with having less fics posted in the last few days and help to spread the posting out better.
Check-ins having no repercussions for the half of the team who isn't progressing with their side of the project: as far as we know, that wasn't the case, and teams who have submitted only partial check-ins were chased up and multiple pinch hitters were assigned where people went MIA. If there are issues with people not pulling their weight in your team, PLEASE LET US KNOW. If you are for some reason unhappy with your partner(s), PLEASE LET US KNOW. If you wish to change your partner because you cannot form a working relationship with them for the duration of the bang, PLEASE EXPLICITLY LET US KNOW (this one is particularly helpful at the start of the project when it's easier to move people around as necessary). We assume that everyone who is taking part in the bang is mature enough to be able to communicate with their partner, or notify us in a timely manner if things are not going according to plan, so we can work on a viable solution together.
Ability to talk to a mod of someone's choosing: this has always been the case, the list of mods is available to view on the rules page, as well as clearly visible on discord! You can DM any member of the mod team at any given time, although a reply might come some time later due to time zone differences.
We will continue to allow everyone to join the KBB, regardless of their previous involvement in the fandom, the KBB itself, and whether they have finished all their previous works for all other projects they have participated in or not.
We will aim to open beta sign ups at the start of the bang, so there will be a bigger beta pool from the beginning and hopefully we will be able to pair up anyone who will need a beta with one. However, we urge people to look for their own betas where possible, as it is not guaranteed that we will be able to provide one for the project, considering how many participants there are.
We will try to make more use of the discord server for posting announcements and reminders as well as posting more on both the tumblr and twitter throughout the bang. Unfortunately 2020 hit us all hard and we didn’t get to do things such as Tips & Tricks and Participant Profiles like we usually do.
For KBB 2021 we will require artists and authors to exchange emails. In previous bangs we’ve allowed people to opt-out of this and use alternate contact methods. This year primary point of contact will be through email and once people are paired up partners can choose how they want to keep in touch moving forward.
If anyone would like any clarification on any of the above, please feel free to contact us!
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