#and say 'huh. not too bad actually'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fuckfuck fuck i need to make more physical crafts i need to create tangible things that i can hold with my two hands and put it somewhere i can See It and think Wow. I Made That.

#finished my little rudimentary earring holder & one of two arm warmers #MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!! I NEED MORE #maybe... maybe ill go get myself a new little plant and a pot to decorate. a little guy for my windowsill #ohhh i could uh! i could make like a little scrapbook thing and put in there all of my favorite things that ive drawn.... #a little egotistical Perhaps but!! on days where i feel like shit and like my art sucks i could flip through that! #and say 'huh. not too bad actually' #plus it just sounds like a fun craft. i could get stickers and stuff. washi tape. glue flat objects on. add teeny doodles #i just. i need to create more i think thats whats wrong with me lately #i feel such Peace and Joy when i make physical things #i wonder if id like book binding... #no no thats for future me who has a job and an Income to get interested in #that would be fun tho! ive always wanted to try it. #and if i do i'd Really want to do that thing where people take a fanfic and make it into a physical book #that would be so fun... #i could have my favorites on a shelf! with permission of course! #absolutely unprompted #yk when i start to feel that Despair i really just gotta think about what physical things i could create #what art things i still have to discover and attempt and enjoy #today has sucked But! i will take the car tomorrow and by fuck i will do Something #a new plant friend. yeah. i need something alive in my room #and this weekend ill go to michaels and get myself washi tape so that i can secure my posters to the walls #bc my poster tack Is Not Working! #i wonder if our printer can work on cardstock... i wonder if its been Set Up yet i havent seen her #maybe ill make some more tiny vases today. i have clay still... #OH OH i could make small amigurumi keychain things... #*spoken with clenched fists and gritted teeth* there is still so much to discover and delight in in this life #the walls in this house are bare and cold but if my stepdad allows I Can Spruce It The Fuck Up #ohhhhh crochet tapestries... i could probably do that too... #i cant wait to pick up crafts get bored two days later and drop em and i say that sincerely!

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[bonetrousledbones]

i think. i want to focus on the idea of roaring knight papyrus where he knows exactly what the roaring entails

#trousled rambles #MAYBE spoiling my papyrus says fuck idea i havent decided if i have the spoons yet or not #but. maybe just maybe i deserve an antagonist papyrus who knows damn well what he's doing #maybe he wants to be pals with the roaring titans huh ever think of that #or maybe he just thinks dark worlds in general are Better and even if darkners all turn to stone in the roaring- #-the light world will then become its own dark world #and well . wouldnt that be nice for a social recluse like him? #he already lives in darkness in his house so it cant be that bad #OR hell maybe he's feelin bitter and he wants everyone else to be lonely and sad too #he didnt actually get a whole lot of genuine development in undertale ok i want him to SHOW why he thinks anyone can change so firmly #i want him to know from experience ok. alright

[eclecticopposition]

give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

#the manager tells an employee to get the rat some cheese. chine says that cheese is actually bad for rats and some seeds would be better #the manager tells the employee to get the rat some seeds and for chine to get the fuck out of their establishment #chine is a little taken aback by the rudeness but leaves without further issue #runs into lye and es outside and is like “hey look they just gave me some free stuff” #Lyke is like “what???? I got kicked out because I wanted free stuff!” #chine says “I think I just got kicked out too. Maybe that's just what happens?" #lyke says “yeah but you got to keep the stuff!” #“Did you not get to keep your stuff?” #“I mean. Not *all* of it.” #“Huh.” #“They didn't let me keep the stuff I kept on purpose.” #es makes a reasonable sounding remark about how they'd be running a pretty terrible business if they handed everything out for free #everyone should get what they need but these people do have livelihoods to think about #is also putting on lipstick that she definitely just shoplifted #duvall comes out and swears he's never coming back here. is asked if he's also banned for life from the Walmart. #demands what the hell these people were doing in the Walmart to get banned for life #because he saw a man getting real heated about frootie hooties and that's definitely not a real cereal #so if that doesn't meet the bar he's not sure he wants to know what does #sangfielle #friends at the table #Shoop #asks

[httpiastri]

no oscar hand dump? 🥲💔

sorry it’s late, hope u enjoy 😚😚

#had to include his pretty neck too 🫶🫶 #oscar was actually insanely gorgeous in the sports team logo video #babyyyyyy #i was so in love #well i always am #and the hands….. #esp in that video #shouldnt say what i wish those fingers were doing because it would not be pg13 #🫡🫡 gtg bye #crazy how small that mic looks in his hand!! his hands rlly just are that big huh #the hand arm neck dumps were meant to be just a place for me to drop off pics so i can then delete the evidence from my phone #and now it’s become a tradition shdkdhdjdj #a loooot of good pics to choose from this week #felt so bad about leaving some out 🥲 #asks! #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #oscar piastri #mclaren racing #osc hands osc neck osc arms

[maudiemoods]

Ok not cool why am I hearing voices

#i need to go to the doctor 🧍🏼‍♂️ #somethings wrong because usually they're not this clear #its weird and i dont like it #they sound like people i know and its too much right now #little vent sorry but i think im actually struggling #im so confused #aurhhg #ren won't shut up #mental illness #idk sometimes they get really clear and it freaks me out #other times it sounds like a bunch of voices talking over each other and it drives me crazy #most of the time when they're clear they just have very boring conversations #wow i didn't realize how much this was affecting me huh #most of the time its right as im trying to fall asleep. i can't tell if its just my dreams?? idk #but sometimes ill hear very loud words that are super clear #aa its scary sometimes grrr but normally it doesn't mess me up #but i heard a loved one say “help me” and now im freaking out aaaaurgggg #gonna text them because i also have paranoia really bad #tw mental illness #idk just in case i guess #im fine just a little spooked jdkxjsjxj #anyways sorry for the vent/ramble i just really needed to type it all out #might delete later idk

[dimensionzero]

anyway every spider-man in the multiverse is alone except for miles. can anybody hear me

#every spiderman starts out thinking theyre the only one #every spiderman learns the lesson that theyre only one person and they cant save everyone #every spiderman grits their teeth and keeps going in face of tragedy #every spiderman learns about the multiverse and when they realize there are other people like them #they pass on their own trauma in a cycle --- this happened to me and it had to happen so that this good thing could also happen #which means that this terrible thing has to happen to you too #thats their universal truth: they cant save everyone alone so they need to maximize their influence to save as many as they can #but miles? miles morales is the spiderman who got bit already knowing who spiderman was #miles is the spiderman who had six different spider-mentors help him come into his own #miles is the only spiderman whose introductory monologue ends with 'and im not the only one' #miles is the one who looks at all these people whove decided they Have to suffer alone and says #'ok but what if i helped you' #'what if instead of taking the good with the bad we still got the good but stopped the bad anyway' #'sure i can't save everyone alone but the whole goddamn point of the multiverse is that im not the only one' #and thats why miles is our hero #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #(tiny amendment actually: miles is actually not the only spider who knows hes not alone right from the beginning #atsv also introduces us to pavitr --- a member of the spider society whos even more of a rookie than miles is #and huh whaddya know: the kid who knew from the start that he wasnt alone is the one whose traumatic 'canon event' is stopped #in a joint effort between him and his friends #yeah that probably isn't foreshadowing or anything)

[fuchiguro]

do you ever think about how jiang cheng tortured people he suspected of being wei wuxian, and was ready to kill mo xuanyu at first sight for being a demonic cultivator, but once he had the one he knew to be the real wei wuxian in his hands he threatened and insulted but never actually tried to hurt him?

#jiang cheng #yunmeng siblings #kept saying he was gonna bring him back to lotus pier and make him kneel in front of his parents grave etc etc #used fairy to scare him #tied him up/caught him ofc... but never actually raised his hands #for a man so terrifying people were too scared to even visit lotus pier for fear he'd be in a bad mood jc was oddly civil w wwx huh #and after jl freed wwx jc could've tried to find him or get him in other occasion but he did nothing #and sureeeee part of it was surely bc of gusu and lz's protection but jc is smart he could've found a way to get him. #he didn't even try #do u ever thing about that #bc i think abt it every day #mypost

[maeamian]

tbqh it's weird as hell to me that there's this given understanding about fictional aliens that they'd be surprised or confused by adaptability, but like, as far as we know and understand that is a fundamental quality of life itself not life on earth. In order to become a spacefaring species any spacefaring alien would've had to survive whatever space threw at them for billions of years as well as whatever their planet in specific threw at them, even the 'good' planet we know about is pretty fucking hostile to life. It's just implausible to me that like, among all the possible sapient species we'd be unique or interesting for the level to which we have the ability to adapt to situations, something that any biological creature of any origin would also need to survive long enough as a species to figure out how space works.

#I mean I also understand this is a common way to frame the mundane as interesting by stripping the normalcy of it #IDK I think the 'humans as space orcs' meta has gone too far #Like it's fine to examine humanity through that lens I think it's good to examine things like that #But then when you give that lens its own actual life you need to think a bit more for it to stay coherent #In many cases I think it completely ignores that it's making sweeping implications about non-human intelligences #In ways that just don't fucking make any sense #IMO at least #IDK I'm not positive I'm saying this in a way that makes sense but I'm right #What I'm saying is the parts of those posts that're like 'this is a neat thing about humans' are good and cool IMO #but the parts that are like 'and therefore an alien intelligence would find it impossible to comprehend' are weird and bad #Just seems like a really self-satisified way of looking at ourselves #Like you really think that no other alien species might IDK have a few instincts left over from the pre-sapience days? #They all just sprung from the stars fully formed beings of pure reason and science? #Just us we're the only cool ones in the whole fuckin galaxy huh

[commsroom]

assorted doug eiffel fantasy genre thoughts that will never cohere into a proper post but i want to say anyway: love that lotr is one of his more-frequently-referenced series. doug eiffel is the guy who is dying to tell you viggo mortensen broke his toes while kicking that helmet. thinking about gabriel urbina saying eiffel's favorite game of thrones character was robb and, doing the math, they realized the last episode to air before he left earth would've been the one right before the red wedding. thinking about the not-technically-canon dnd script and how he would be so so insufferable to dm for because he has his character's whole story planned out and he gets frustrated every time the game doesn't adhere to it. doug eiffel is the guy who gets really annoying about other people not doing their character voices. and you'd think maybe he would be a better dm than a player, if he wants to tell wild stories and do character voices so badly, but he would never be willing to plan for it and he insists he wants to play even though it makes him mad every time. doug eiffel has a very specific and very fervent pet peeve about the prevalence of giant spiders in high fantasy and you should not get him started.

#i want to take him to the ren faire #this isn't worth tagging but. i want to talk about him so too bad. #wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #i like to think lotr is one of the things eiffel and hera could agree on #but she reads the books first and actually thinks in terms of themes so she's like ohh i get it and starts talking about #how it values the small deeds of everyday people and has so much emphasis on life. even as the world is changing beyond recognition #and eiffel is like yeah uh huh that's totally what i was going to say #but he was actually just excited to be like now you can watch the movies the ride of the rohirrim is soo cool #she would compare him to faramir and he wouldn't get that that's a compliment because he thinks it'd be cooler to be aragorn #that's his problem. #anyway. still thinking about bard eiffel. wonderful to me

[nakeurnes]

#bandudhfuwufhrbdjvhsbbgbfndjeybfnzuchdndhdbdbgbsjfyskiwurbrbcjdbfnskayfis8 ch dnbcje I fyebaichfnduwjfnoxuend hai fudbsja #i fucking hate being a system #i hate it here #i dont want to be here anymore let me out #let me out or take me out back and shoot me in the head #blah blah the SAME SHIT I KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT EVRTY SINGLE FUCKING YIME INCOME HERE AND CRY AND SOB AND COMPLAIN I JSUT ALWAYS #FUCKING XOMPLAIN HUH? maybe i should jsut shut thr fuck up forever #i dont even want. to yell about it anymore #i screamed for help last time and no one fucking helped me no one actually fucking listens and im tired #if you dont give a fuck about what im ACTUALLY saying and feeling dont just feel pity for me #im not a kicked dog i m asking for HELP #but okay . thats fine . #ill jsu t go bash my head on a wall. #this is just great too cuz youre gonna see this and assume its you and youre right! its partially you im going fucking insane #and its mean for me to be like this and do this but i cant #i just give up now i literally am . giving up i dont have the energy to try and keep fucking foing yhis #i front once every 2 months to everyones distain and sob uncontrollably for hours and then go to sleep and eventuallly find someone else #to come here and front so i dont have to look myself in the mirror #i dont even know how started this rant anumore jone of this makes sense #if you see this and you know who you are just dont even. mention it i dont want to talk about it #its always the same shit ans the same shit keeps fucking happening and i keep getting worse so whatever . #yeah ur gonna feel bad and pitiful and im gonna feel like a piece of shit even though i do this ervery fucjing time #id off myself atp if that was a fucking option #whatevrr . im not tagging this shit on who it is if u dont know play a guessing game akd if you do then congrats go finger ur ass or smth #I will regret this in the morning but wt v . #stnkkkk if u read this then thank u for sloppy jane req i sobbed quite hard while lsitening to it 10/10 /pos #youd yave to be reading pretty far atp to see this but wtv .

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#man. nights are. Hard huh #Uhhh this is. Another vent post HEAVY trigger warnings for this one #honestly I wouldn't bother reading this nothing'll come of it good or bad so #don't worry about me ill be fine in the morning just need to. Scream into the void again #....again serious serious trigger warnings on this I'm too tired to say specifics but I know it'll be fucked so #Anyway #maybe Jade's right maybe I do need to see a therapist #she talked about some medication for anxiety and it's effects and what is like on and off the stuff #And...... #........'waking up and going to bed on the verge of tears' vs 'not doing that' #sounds................ #............christ. I... #I'm not suicidal I think I'd never actually follow through nor would I bother to self harm #None of that would solve anything for me and I'm too chicken to do it regardless #But..... #......i sure do think the words 'I wanna throw myself off a cliff' kind of a lot #killing myself is sounding less like a vague weird concept and more grounded in reality #hhhh #do I need to talk to someone about this? maybe #am I going to? probably not #is putting this on my public blog where I know there's a very good chance a bunch of people really close to me will see it a cry for help? #............................................................ #i dunno #just know my chest hurts all the time and Im always a few seconds away from breaking down in tears at any given moment #and I just kind of want everything to stop #just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop #wanna turn my brain off and just leave it like that #everything sucks and is hard and getting harder and despite being absolutely surrounded by love and support #I keep having these horrible low points and the high points feel further and further away #....anyway.....this is the last tag it'll let me do so. um. I'm sorry for whoever does read this... hope you're having a decent night

[rosykims]

ive played dao like 9 times at this point and still. and STILL the isolde/connor decision has me tearing my hair out gnawing my keyboard stomping around the house ready to lie down and never get up

#tay plays dao #in saying all that: i had an epiphany and im now at peace with elspeth killing this kid :) JKFJGKFG #I HATEEEEE IT I HATE THIS CHOUICE. AND YET. AND YETTTT #oc: elspeth #sigh. the things we do for rp........ #so my reasoning is : she's the most moral/lawful/goody-good character you can find and lawful good in the truest sense of the term #so blood magic just isnt an option for her #also she does lothering > circle > redcliffe so she's seen what blood magic is capable of and its way too fresh in her mind #and as a noble with literally zero experience or understanding of magic... what shes seen of blood magic is SO bad she isnt abt to risk it #(i also dismiss the circle mages option outright because she wont risk redcliffe and the castle all dying while shes out wasting time) #but still its like... when she walks into that room prior to making the Choice she's so ADAMANT that she wont be killing a child #and upon leaving she still feels that way. again she doesnt rly know that much about demons so shes still like ok maybe i can just #incapacitate him?? reason with him?? #bc thats what would happen to a hero in a story. they would find a way. there would be a happy ending. and she believes in happy endings #and she rly does see herself as the hero lol. #and then it doesnt happen and shes forced to make the choice and it absolutely destroys her sense of self. bc heroes dont DO that #and the story wasnt supposed to turn out this way !!!!!! and realizing this isnt some story and shes actually going to have to do #Horrific things. its a turning point for her #also a turning point for alistair and her relationship w him. bc he'd also put her on a pedastal this whole time #and now hes like. oh. all that honor and bravado is just something youre making up as you go huh #and then they have to get to know each other as flawed complicated people. not just.... ideals that they created of each other??? #WHEW. THIS IS LONG. SORRY. #DRAGON AGE SEASON BABEY LETS FUCKING GO LOL

[lecliss]

Not to be like "fantasy worlds can't have their own laws different from the real world" but isn't it still kinda really fucked up how easy it is to swap literal eyeballs in Naruto? The only character who has an actual scar from eyeball swapping is Kakashi. Madara, Obito, Nagato, Hanabi, and Toneri all do not. And we've even seen Hinata take Hanabi's eyes out of Toneri's fucking face and hold them in her hands like she was plucking grapes from a vine. What's going on with the eyeball anatomy of humans in the ninja world???

#also didnt obito or madara take izuna's eyes from one of them during the war? cant remember what order it was or if there was a scene #for that. i cannot visually remember anything about the final arc that wasnt a scene in one of the games #YES MOST OF MY MEMORY COMES FROM THE FUCKING GAMES. IVE PROBABLY PLAYED THOSE MORE THAN IVE WATCHED/READ ACTUAL NART LEAVE ME ALONE #IM A GAMER FIRST AND FOREMOST IS THAT SO WRONG??? #anyway. people just pop those bad boys in their sockets like theyre contact lens huh #ITACHI PUT LIKE ONE OR BOTH OF HISUI'S EYES IN A FUCKING CROW #DIDNT HISUI TAKE THEM OUT HIMSELF AND HAND THEM TO ITACHI TOO???? GUYS!!!! THEYRE NOT FUCKING LENSES PLEASE #personal #im saying hisui..... his name is shisui..... well fuck it whatever i couldnt care less about shisui anyway. fuck him and his eyes. #WHO THE FUCK IS HISUI????? #oh.... pokemon region..... FUCK CIDNDIDNDKDNXK

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS: #Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.) #but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died' #ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her- #-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck- #-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh ! #THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house- #-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

[spearxwind]

Thinking about the time i commissioned an artist i rly liked for something and the result was kind of really catastrophic just from the preview image in the email so i just. never opened the actual image

#i dont even know where it is #honestly ive had such bad luck commissioning art of adri that ive completely given up its like an anomaly #thunderclap #fan art my lovely followers and friends have done for me for free: literally the most swagful things ive ever seen #actual for real honest to god art i have paid real money for: worlds most inconceivably off model take #the only exception to this is when ive commissioned my friends themselves #i know this is a mean spirited post usually i dont mind like creative liberty I usually say yeah feel free to interpret my characters freel #but like. sometimes its not remotely the same character #thinking still about the uh. the art i got from [popupar twitter artist] in exchange for one of my adopts instead of them paying money #and they like. did it so off model they just made a whole new guy. the art? yeah it slaps obviously. but thats not my oc 😭 #congratulations thats the worst anyones ever done it!! #this is something i personally try not to do when i do commissions too unless very explicitely stated. 'do your own take' #and also i make sure that the sketch is on-model and the client is happy etc etc #i dont know what it is about some artists where they just go ouuhhh what if i . redesigned ur oc for u. HUH #anyway thats all i gottta say this is a weird post but i think about it a lot #before you ask no im not gonna name names. this is my own personal beef