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hairstevington · 1 year

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Stranger Therapy - part 2!

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Based on this text post, Steve and Eddie match on Tinder and decide to go to couple's counseling on a first date to see how long it takes the therapist (Murray) to figure them out. Chapter 1, Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3k again!

Warnings: This one has a moment of actual therapy lmao, nothing TOO serious but Eddie has low self-esteem and Steve is closed off, modern day AU, aged up, brief Robin cameo, Matchmaker Murray.

A/N: OMG I was NOT expecting such a big reaction to part 1!! Here is the much requested part two, and I plan to continue for probably another two or three chapters. Thanks to all who have read so far!! PS I really did look into the counselor code of ethics for this one lmao

“So, how’d it go?” Robin asked once Steve got home.

He had no idea how to answer that question.

“It was…” He wandered to the fridge to grab a drink, wondering how much of the experience he should share with Robin. Generally, they told each other everything, but wasn’t therapy usually a private thing? So it wouldn’t be too terribly weird to not tell her, right? “Did you know he went to Hawkins High with us?”

“He did?” she asked, just as confused as Steve had been. “Like, at the same time we were there?”

“Yup. Eddie Munson ring a bell?” Robin thought about the name for a second before her eyes widened.

“Oh my god! Yes I remember him!” She laughed, then continued once she’d settled down. “Okay, yeah. He’s definitely the kind of person who would want to do the first date fake couple’s counseling thing. He was always a little…outside of the box.”

“Come on,” Steve replied. “You say the meanest shit to me, and the best you can come up with for Eddie is that he’s ‘outside of the box?’ Robin, he’s never even seen the box.” She laughed again.

“Okay, sure,” she agreed. “I’m guessing it didn’t turn out to be a good match?”

Steve hesitated again, because no, that wasn’t it. He wasn’t sure if they were a good match, honestly. He ran through the events of the day in his head, then realized just how batshit insane it all was. And Steve had agreed to it.

And he didn’t even regret it.

He imagined telling Robin, and her relentlessly teasing him about it like she always did. This would give her enough ammunition to last a lifetime. It probably would be even worse than the fateful day at the mall when Steve had accidentally ripped his pants while attempting to hit on a girl. Robin had a front row seat for that one, and she still brought it up.

Steve agreeing to go to therapy with an actual stranger, pretending to date said stranger, and working on actual personal issues together? Yeah, no. Steve was gonna take this shit to the grave.

Except, he wouldn’t, would he? Because he had an accomplice. They also weren’t strangers, not really, but they were still acquaintances, at best. An acquaintance that Steve had intermittently thought about kissing ever since Eddie mentioned it with Dr. Bauman.

Ohhh, this is bad I think.

“Earth to Steve,” Robin said, interrupting his thought spiral. “Are you going to see him again or not?”

“We’re gonna get coffee next week,” Steve lied. He never lied to Robin, and he felt immediately horrible about it, but he couldn’t tell her, right?

He almost broke and told her the honest truth, because sitting with the lie was so uncomfortable. Instead, he told himself that if he actually got coffee with Eddie next week, then he wouldn’t be lying. Loophole!

“Oh,” she said, surprised. “I really didn’t expect anything to come from this.”

“Yeah, well he’s -” Steve tried to think of what exactly it was about Eddie that was so enticing. He was hot, obviously. Charismatic. He was able to take Steve off guard, and they rolled with each other’s bullshit pretty smoothly. It was strange how connected he felt to Eddie in the session. Like they really were in tune with each other. Like they were an actual couple. “He’s cool. We had fun.”

“I know you’re not telling me something,” Robin said, eyeing him suspiciously. “But I guess it’s not my business. Plus, confidentiality and all that.”

Unlike Steve, Robin had been to therapy before. She had always told Steve he should go, too, but he never had.

Until now, of course. But first, he had to cover his bases.

Steve: Do you wanna get coffee before our appointment?

Eddie: Sure, gives us a chance to get our stories straight

Eddie: Hold on let me make the joke before you do

Steve: ?

Eddie: About our stories being gay and not straight!!

Steve: I wasn’t gonna make that lame-ass joke

Eddie: Sure you weren’t

Steve: And if I was, my delivery would have been way better

Eddie: oh shit

Eddie: Steve’s biting back today ;)

Steve: Well I gotta keep up with you, don’t I?

Eddie: Mmm i see how it is. Noon work for coffee?

Steve: I’ll be there

Eddie had recently been told by a close friend that he needed to get his shit together. The couple’s counseling wasn’t a whole master plan on Eddie’s part - he really did think it sounded fun, and it was - but the thought of talking out some of his issues was appealing, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

This close friend of Eddie’s - the one who suggested Eddie had an attitude problem and low self-esteem - had mentioned Dr. Bauman a few times in the past. He apparently worked wonders on couples, even the ones who argued all the time. His success rate was remarkable.

Thinking back on it, maybe Eddie did kind of want to do couple’s counseling with Steve and Dr. Bauman for a reason.

Like, come on. There was a spark there, right? There was something, at least. Who else would have gone along with Eddie’s crazy this much? Steve understood Eddie, and while he kept calling this whole thing ‘insane,’ it didn’t stop him from agreeing to it. Because there was something there between them.

But mainly, Eddie just wanted to see a therapist, he didn’t really want to do it alone, and for whatever reason Steve seemed like the right person to be there.

Okay, yeah. Steve’s right. This is insane.

The cafe down the street from Murray’s office was small and cozy, and had fancy syrups for the coffee that Steve secretly loved. He came here sometimes, under the guise that he was getting a strawberries and cream oat milk latte for Robin, even though literally none of the workers cared.

“Your usual?” the barista asked when Steve and Eddie got in line. Steve tried not to notice Eddie’s amused expression and the way his eyebrows were raised expectantly, desperate to know what Steve ordered so often the workers had it memorized.

“Uhhhh…” Steve wasn’t sure why he was blushing. He never cared much about being seen as masculine, and he was literally going to therapy with this guy, so things were about to get a lot more embarrassing than a coffee order. He looked at Eddie. “Don’t judge me, it’s delicious.” Eddie laughed.

“I don’t give a shit,” he said. “Whatever it is, own it.” Steve turned to the barista.

“Yes, the usual,” he told her.

“I’ll get the same thing,” Eddie chimed in. Steve felt a flutter of something in his chest, somewhere between anxiety and flattery.

They got their drinks and sat down. Steve took a sip and tried not to show on his face how happy this stupid beverage made him. It was a simple joy, you know?

“Okay, so you wanted to come up with some kind of game plan, right?” Steve asked as he waited for the caffeine to hit.

“Yeah, I mean -” Eddie shifted in his seat uncomfortably. What the hell is he nervous about, Steve wondered. “If Murray figures us out now, he’ll drop us. So we have to be a bit more convincing.”

“How are we supposed to be more convincing? Do you want us to start making out on the couch or something?” Steve suggested it as if he wouldn’t be extremely happy to do so.

“If it comes down to it,” Eddie teased back. Steve blushed once again. He was so much better at flirting than he was being flirted with. “My favorite color is black or red, depending on the day. I still mostly eat canned foods and TV dinners because I never figured out the whole meal prep thing, but it works out fine because my favorite food is mac and cheese. I play a lot of video games and I have a Dungeons and Dragons group. I’m kind of amazing at the guitar -”

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, not getting it. Eddie sighed.

“I’m telling you about myself, what do you think I’m doing?” He shook his head and chuckled. “So you have context, or whatever. So we’re not just making shit up.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve responded. “What about your family?”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna touch that subject with a ten foot pole,” Eddie muttered. “Your turn.”

“Fair enough. Okay, well my favorite color is blue, I guess. I live with my best friend Robin. I…I’m not really good at this.” Steve took another sip of his drink and wondered why he couldn’t come up with more facts about himself.

“College?” Eddie asked. Steve shook his head. “Me neither. Do you like music?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered. “I took piano lessons for a while and then I taught myself the rest.”

“Impressive,” Eddie noted. “Do we ever play music together?”

“I guess we could,” Steve said with a shrug. It was fun, coming up with a backstory like that. “Aren’t you going to drink your coffee?”

“Oh Jesus, no. It’s got way too much sugar for my taste.”

“Then why did you get one?” Eddie smiled.

“Because now -” Eddie slid his cup across the table until it was directly next to Steve’s. “-you have one for later.” Steve stared down at both cups, perplexed.

“That is…like, incredibly sweet,” he said.

“Just like that abomination you call coffee,” Eddie replied.

After intake, Dr. Murray Bauman examined the counseling code of ethics, and unsurprisingly there was nothing in there saying it was unethical to continue treating a couple who were lying about being a couple. He didn’t have proof they were pretending, of course, but clients lied to therapists all the time. If they showed up for their appointment, Murray was going to counsel them. That was his job. Truly, it would have been unethical not to work with them.

They did show up, and they were right on time. Immediately, Murray noticed something was different. They were more comfortable with each other, and Steve in particular looked much less terrified.

“So,” Murray began, “tell me how your week has been.”

“It’s been good,” Eddie answered. “You really helped us out a lot.”

For a fleeting moment, Murray believed him. He thought that maybe his instinct had been wrong, and they actually were a couple, and they’d somehow managed to get over Steve’s affair in a matter of forty minutes.

But it was only a moment. Murray was a great counselor, but nobody was that good. His suspicions were confirmed when Steve opened his mouth.

“We actually think our relationship is solid, and we kinda just want to focus on our own individual issues,” he said.

It was far too polished of a statement for it to have not been planned. Which meant one thing - Steve and Eddie were just looking for individual therapy, and were going at the same time for…emotional support? Cost-effectiveness?

Murray nodded. This was all a first for him, and he loved uncharted waters.

“Okay, what would you like to focus on first?” he asked.

“I’ll go,” Eddie offered. “So, I have this friend that says I have self-esteem issues, but it doesn’t really make sense to me because I feel like I’m pretty confident. Like, I haven’t really mastered how to be a grown-up or anything, and I’m kind of a mess sometimes, but it’s all part of my charm, you know? I’ve always been a little crazy, but I also think I’m awesome, so…”

“If you think you’re awesome, why does someone else’s opinion matter?” Murray asked.

“I dunno, aren’t you the one who has the answers?” Eddie asked. “Just skip to the part where you tell me what’s wrong with me.”

“Well, that’s not usually how this works,” Murray began, “but I think I do see what’s going on.”

“Enlighten me,” Eddie said.

“You just said you were confident but called yourself a mess and a little crazy in the same breath,” Murray replied. “You can exude confidence all you want, but it doesn’t mean you actually believe those things about yourself. Steve, what do you think about this?”

“Uhhh -” Steve looked absolutely unequipped to answer the proposed question. “I think Eddie knows how hot and charming he is, actually. I don’t think it’s bullshit.”

“I didn’t say it was bullshit,” Murray countered, noticing that this time Eddie was the one to blush. “But there is a difference between ego and self-esteem. It’s not just about confidence, it’s about self-respect and worth. Eddie, do you feel valuable?”

“Like, in this relationship?” Eddie asked.

“No, in this world.”

This question stopped Eddie dead in his tracks. His face went pale, and he became visibly nervous at the prospect of being so vulnerable.

“Fuck,” Eddie said at last. “I mean, uh - not really, but it's not personal, I don't think. Just feels like we're all specks of dust on a rock, you know?"

There was another shift in the room, but Murray couldn’t pinpoint exactly what.

“Can you tell me a bit about how you grew up?” he wondered. Family history was a standard line of questioning in these early sessions. Eddie froze.

“Actually, I really wanna focus on my thing now, if that’s okay,” Steve interrupted. Eddie seemed relieved to pass the torch, so Murray went with it.

“Of course. What’s going on with you, Steve?”

“Uhh, well, I - um -” he sputtered, his leg bouncing rapidly. “I keep having this nightmare - like, every night - where there’s a monster in my closet. What do you think that means?”

“Well,” Murray said, leaning back in his chair. “Dream psychology isn’t really my specialty -”

“Okay, but I reeeeally wanna talk about it,” Steve persisted. "Like, is the monster a metaphor about my sexuality or is it supposed to be my dad? Help me out here."

While Steve babbled about his obviously made up dream, Murray caught Eddie staring at the man beside him. There was a completely unmistakable twinkle in Eddie's eye that told Murray everything he needed to know. Whether these boys knew it or not, they cared about each other.

“As you wish,” Murray conceded. They used the rest of their time focusing on much less heavy subjects, and it was pretty clear that was intentional. He understood, though, that it was important not to take these things too fast. Before long, the color returned to Eddie’s face, and the boys were riffing off each other again flawlessly.

This was getting more and more interesting by the minute.

“Things were intense for a bit in there,” Eddie said as they walked back to the parking lot.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “You okay?”

“M’good,” Eddie replied. “Your dream thing. Was that real?”

“Uh, no. I just thought you needed a break.”

“Oh,” he said. “Normally I’d give you a spirited monologue about how you don’t know me and therefore shouldn’t make my decisions for me.”

“What are you gonna say instead?” Steve asked.

“Well, considering you’re technically paying for this, I don’t really have a leg to stand on,” Eddie chuckled. “And also, as weird as this whole thing is, I’m glad you were in there with me.” He tried to play it off as a lot more casual of a statement than it was.

Being in therapy together and actually taking it seriously was an incredibly intimate thing. Steve wasn’t sure he could actually be as open as Eddie had been.

“I think we’re skipping a whole lot of steps, here,” Steve said, attempting to return Eddie’s light tone.

“Yeah, well I’ve always hated steps,” Eddie replied. “I tend to trip over ‘em.”

“Right.” Steve chuckled. “So…same time next week?” Eddie flashed a genuine smile and nodded.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Oh, but next time - you’re in the hot seat. No fake dreams, I’m talking real shit, okay?”

“Oh, you’re making demands, now?” Steve asked, amused. “What happened to you not having a leg to stand on?”

“Huh,” Eddie responded, pondering this for a moment. He shrugged. “I guess I can fly.”

Steve had no intention of actually diving into real shit, especially after he’d seen the way Murray dug into Eddie during the session. Steve wasn’t ready to confront anything. He refused to admit there was anything to confront in the first place. But he would go - of course he’d go, because something deep within him told him he’d regret it if he didn’t.

Steve and Eddie weren’t a couple. They weren’t strangers. They weren’t friends. But damn, they were something.

(next chapter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@escapingthereality @imfinereallyy @raisedbylibrarians @samthemissfit @chaoticvictorianspirit @elizbaehth @despoenaandpyromania @cr0w-culture @bagofgreentea @f1ct1onwh0re @novelnovella @thing-a-ling @bisexualdisastersworld @practicallybegging @soldiers00 @beckkthewreck @fandomz-brainrot @shrimply-a-menace @justanothergirlwithobsessions @freshflowers-and-dryingherbs

@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth

#steddie #steddie fic #eddie and steve #eddie munson x steve harrington #st fanfic #writing #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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mae-i-scribble · 1 year

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I've recently read through all of fabiniku (my life as an ordinary guy who reincarnated as a girl or something like that for the english title) and it's just been such a fun and genuine time that made me so much more endeared to the series than I thought I was going to be going into this. And for me it touches on a very important part of representation and the argument that queer people will inherently tell queer stories better (spoiler alert i think this mentality is simplistic and unrealistic). Because full disclosure, yeah the author of fabiniku is not someone i assume is the best ally on the planet, and i dont even know if she's queer or not. Her author notes have some pretty :/// stuff in them about trans identity and the idea that being trans is a fetish or childish choice. However, there could also be translational errors messing up what exactly she means, and I can't exactly translate myself, so there is some doubt in that regard. But regardless of the author's opinions, none of that changes the very genuine and heartfelt story she is telling with Tachibana in fabiniku.

(putting the rest under a readmore bc its getting longer than i thought)

There's a reason fabiniku got its reputation as one of the queerest isekai's to ever isekai and that reputation is well deserved bc holy shit yeah these bitches gay and trans as hell. Fabiniku does something with its queer narrative that I personally really appreciate: it sidelines the queer themes. Now this may seem contradictory, but for me, I don't always want queer stories about being queer, I want the queer elements to be a part of the narrative without it being focused on them. And fabiniku absolutely delivers on this. It isn't the story of tachibana finding out he's trans and jinguuji finding out he's gay but also kinda technically bi now- it's a batshit insane isekai romcom about 2 best friends realizing they have feelings for each other. Of course, those queer elements are still very much there, but they're entrenched in the characters, not in the author saying "see this aspect of identity, i want to use these characters as a vehicle to tell a story about it." (Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just a difference in writing goals and how one goes about writing themes/stories)

Fabiniku was never trying to be anything profound or meaningful in terms of queer representation, its mostly a gag manga with some large overarching story beats, but the author's earnestness in portraying the romance and personal growth gives the series a real heart that 1)makes it enjoyable unlike some other comedy based isekai and 2) stops it from being offensive representation. Tachibana is a guy who finds himself becoming a girl one day without and warning, and his slow journey into realizing what exactly he wants in regards to his gender identity is never used as the butt of the joke or mocked. (I'm using he/him for tachibana bc literally as of a couple chapters ago we just got him admitting he may not want to go back to being a guy, he's still on the first steps of his trans journey). In the same vein Jinguuji's love of Tachibana is never truly treated as "only now bc tachibana is a girl, no way did jinguuji love him before nope nope." (yes the initial premise suggests this interpretation, but as the manga grows on it is increasingly clear that both these 2 loved each other before this isekai shenanigans began).

There's a lot more words in my head, but Im gonna wrap it up here. Fabiniku is hardly "perfect" representation, but it is telling a meaningful story with a lot of love put into it regardless. Blaming its mistakes on the author not being trans or gay while ignoring its strengths is useless nitpicking. I saw a post saying it would be a much funnier manga if a trans person wrote it, which is such an illogical point to make that I just had to go ????? at my screen for a minute. There's a lot to talk about with this story, and that's what you took away from it?? And im not saying there aren't criticisms to be made, I still think Jinguuji's arc should have been about him realizing that even if he didn't like women, it didn't change the fact that he was attracted to Tachibana- would have made for a more in character arc for him but again, the author was never intending for anything more than a romantic comedy manga, so I won't hold it against her too much.

Anyways everyone go watch or read fabiniku you won't regret it its so fucking good

#fabiniku #Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout #hinata tachibana #tsukasa jinguuji #i am totally normal about the media i consume i promise #you want to read my rambling about the queer aspects of this show so bad right right #genuinely i think the rep in this is so fucking good #judt because it isnt perfect doesnt mean it doesnt have value #it is also 3am when i write this so things arent exactly coherent

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syndianites · 4 months

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tom in a (season 1 centric) timeloop

thank youuu!

When I tell you that I've had an idea similar to this floating in my head for ages, let me tell you that unironically I have a whole lore for it. (Granted, it uses some of my more out-there Mianite headcanon and background lore for characters, so it'd get revised to be less ooc for the characters if I ever DID write that plot bunny. My similar thought centers on the idea of the crew coming out of the void post-s2 and getting stuck in the entire s1 plot again, except 1) the s2 crew is there and 2) no one seems to remember doing any of this before except for some brief deja-vu moments. The main POV would follow the s2 crew and the main plot twist would be the fact that Tom DOES remember what happened and has the powers of Dianite, but is trying his best to keep the events all together and maybe, possibly, save his Dianite. The ending is a secret tho)

Onto the fic

----

Tom felt the strain burn into his upper back. He was never the best archer- that solidly went to Jordan and his goddess' personal preference for bows- but at this close of distance and how big Dianite was, he knew his aim would be true.

He was conflicted.

Yeah, Dianite disowned him. Sure, he was acting absolutely batshit insane, trying to kill his own sister and fellow goddess. And yeah, Tom had decided he'd side with his friends, but a few swings against his god were nothing in the grand scheme of things. What was significant, however, was how worn Dianite was beginning to look. For all his godly might, Dianite had been deteriorating for months. Tom couldn't figure out why and any attempt at getting answers was met with harsh rebuttal, and by the time he started to get an inkling of what might be going down Furia had decided to start shit.

Looking at Dianite now, you wouldn't think he was a god. Maybe a tough, angry red demon, but a god? No, he was far too battered and bruised to attest to such divine birthright. Even as he expertly parried a strike from Tucker and ducked an arrow sent by Jordan, Dianite just barely managed to escape Sonja's quick slash with a shallow scratch. He was slowing down. Even more so after the crystal atop the pillar at the center of their arena had been broken.

Tom tracked the fight with his eyes, barely moving a muscle beyond the subtle shake of his arms. His bow was redied, his shot clear. Just a quick release of the tension built in his fingers and his arrow would hit home. Dianite's back was turned to him.

Why was he hesitating?

The wait was maddening. How much longer could he hold this position? How much longer until someone got the upper hand- who would it be? Would he be able to stand seeing his god cutting down one of his friends, so soon after Capsize's death? Would he be able to handle seeing his friends cut down his god, the very one that had taken him in, bloodied and bleeding and freshly pulled from the grave?

The choice was taken from him.

He didn't realize until the arrow was already in the air, too focused on the sudden chill that had taken into his fingers. Tom glanced at his hand in bewilderment, seeing the ghost of a dark energy- or was it a deep purple?- before his head snapped back up to Dianite.

To the arrow lodged in his back.

Dianite stumbled, sword clattering to the ground. Tucker and Jordan had stepped back, both with their swords still raised, and Sonja had an arrow knocked in the background, all of them clearly ready for some new power to burst forth.

Instead, Dianite's head turned towards Tom, eyes eerily blank.

They stared at one another as Dianite fell down to one knee, then both. A frown marred his face- not a sneer but something more confused. His eyes fell to Tom's hand that still prickled with cold like he'd just dunked them in arctic waters.

Tom's chest twisted like it was reading its own arrow.

"No." Dianite's eyes found his again. "Not like this."

Stuck in the god's gaze, Tom watched as a shadow seemed to lift from Dianite's eyes like he was gaining clarity. He seemed to wrestle with himself, teeth grit in determination and Tom wondered if he was going to strike him down for the betrayal.

But was it betrayal when Dianite had turned his back to him first?

Instead, Dianite gave a sigh, setting a soft look upon Tom. "Not for you."

Before Tom could react, before he could draw a breath, pain erupted behind his eyes. The world was swallowed in a blinding light- white, at first, then turning a deep, blood red, before fading to black.

Oh, Tom mused, he really did strike me down.

With that thought, Tom blanked out.

---

In a shocking turn of events, Tom came to with a stuttering gasp. His eyes flew open only to burn with the sudden onset of light. He squeezed them closed, hand flying up to protect his eyes. The sound of waves beat at his pounding head.

A groan sounded from afar. It wasn't himself, for he could scarcely manage a wheeze. There was a shuffling of sand, shoes crunching shakily on the uneasy surface.

Sand?

Gods know Tom wasn't the smartest, but after getting blasted by godly power and surely being killed so thoroughly he wasn't likely to get revived a second time didn't put him anywhere near sand.

He peeked an eye open from beneath his fingers as his mind fried itself trying to connect dots.

Smited by Dianite + horrible pain = brain exploded?

Brain exploded + waking up in pain = died and sent to hell?

From what Tom knew about the Nether, sand wasn't out of the question, perse, but it was usually accompanied by the screams and moans of the dead.

Wait, did his soul get sucked up by some soul sand?

As he tried to figure out the logistics of how souls even got stuck in sand, a voice caught his attention, "You alive over there?"

When Tom didn't reply, because surely they weren't talking to him, the crunching of sand got closer and there was a nudge at his side.

Startled, Tom dropped the hand from his face, squinting through the sudden pain and onslaught of light to see a man standing above him. As his eyes focused, the face because clear.

"Tucker?" Tom's brain tried to reboot, not comprehending why his best friend was also here. "Don't tell me you died too?"

Instead of a snarky remark, Tucker gave him a suspicious frown. "How do you know my name? Who are you? No, wait, what do you mean died? Is this the afterlife?"

The questions hurt caused Tom's brain to lag, trying to process the absolutely absurd shit coming out of Tucker's mouth. This was too much for him, honestly, between his brain getting exploded and waking up to his soul getting eaten by soul sand and- wait.

Tom sat up suddenly, head pounding at the movement. He was on a beach. There was a clear blue sky around him and a lack of sweltering heat. Either he was not in the Nether, or the process of getting his soul eaten by fucking sand made him hallucinate.

Rather than answering Tucker's questions, he swivled his head from side to side. He was on a beach, a hill stretching out behind him and leading to a solitary acacia tree. The dry looking grass was familiar, like the savannah grass their homes were all built on top of. If he squinted, he could imagine that mountain off to his side being where Tucker and Sonja's castle home was, and opposite of that he could almost visualize Jerry's Tree.

Tom frowned, looking up at the bewildered and agitated Tucker.

"I'm Tom, dumbass. Don't tell me that dying made you forget me?"

Tucker huffed. "Like I'd be able to forget a talking zombie. I'm pretty sure we've never met."

Despite his confusion, Tucker offered Tom a hand like it was second nature. He took it gingerly, eying his friend warily.

"Sure," Tom muttered, the gears in his brain clicking together like an abandoned machine that needed maintenance five years ago. "Doesn't this place look familiar?"

"Not at all. Don't think I've ever been to, what, a savannah? At least, that's what it looks like. Dry grass and all." Tucker frowned at the stalks coming up to his waist, twisting the top and watching it break under his fingers.

Tom didn't respond, instead opting to climb the hill to get a better lay of the land. There was a mutter from Tucker behind him and the sound of footsteps following him. When Tom reached the top he felt his abused brain step into overdrive.

This place looked familiar for sure. Three mountains surrounded the savannah plain, with a river cutting through it. If he squinted at the one on his left, he could almost see was looked like an incomplete version of Dec's house. To the right, he could imagine the Dianite head statue his friends had made, leading into what would be the Forest of the Abyss.

It wasn't until a flash of red caught his eye that Tom truly felt his mind break.

There was Dec, in his usual ragged get-up, waving in that same carefree way he always did. But instead of making some comment about how Tom looks like he lost a fight with a sand castle, or how Tucker looked like a half-drowned rat, he greeted them.

"Welcome! I haven't seen you all around before. What brings you folk out here to our lovely realm of Mianite?" Dec grinned at them, offering a hand to shake.

Tucker stepped forward to introduce himself, but Tom just stared at Declan.

This was almost exactly how his first day in the realm had gone. He'd washed ashore, met Tucker, and got the run down from Dec. Hell, if things continued he could easily imagine how Tucker and he would start gathering wood and trying to set up a base at the top of that stupid mountain Tucker had tried to push him off of as a joke.

No.

No, there was no fucking way.

Dianite had killed him.

But ghosts didn't feel pain. He'd asked Capsize and she told him as much. His head throbbed with the ache of getting smitted.

They couldn't feel temperature, but the heat of the plains was already seeping into his suit jacket.

Most of all, they didn't have a heart beat, and Tom could feel his barely there, defunct heart slowly but surely beating in his chest.

Something had went royally fucking wrong.

----

Okay, I could probably continue this, in fact I have a vague idea for how Tom's character arc would go for this and I 100% know how I would end it. If you want more, I can keep going, but I'd either need to separate it into it's own post or do a little planning to get the idea more concrete. Because this is honestly a banger ass plot bunny.

Thanks for the prompt!!

#mianite #mianite fic #mianite s1 #mianite season 1 #tom syndicate #jordan captainsparklez #tucker jericho #sonja firefoxx #declan the priest #yes im too lazy to put their actual names #mianite prompt #tom timeloop au #okay honestly though i am very tempted to continue this

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polyamorouspunk · 1 month

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So I (24, nonbinary) have been casually seeing this guy (38) that I've know for quite some time; I lost my virginity to him and it was fun and easy and honestly things had been great.

And then I was a little bit too high and confessed that I love him and he was super sweet in the moment and just held me and told me he's not comfortable saying the same because he's not sure

That was a couple weeks ago, the last time I spent the weekend. A few days ago I asked if he wanted to hang out again soon, but he didn't respond until today. He had a lot going on and also had to put his thoughts in coherent order, which I can respect. But reading his texts this morning has fucked up my whole day.

He's been really gentle in trying to let me down easy, I know he's still fucked up over his last relationship, and he's got two kids (both under 16) to think about; not to mention that I know he's worried about the age gap (he mentioned that I have so many possibilities ahead of me and I wanted to throw my phone).

I've got issues so I'm taking it really hard. Like this is definitely something I expected and yet I'm still super hurt. I don't really have anyone I'm comfortable talking about this with, and I'm sorry for dumping it all on you but I saw your little sleepover post and I could honestly use a hug and some positive vibes right now.

Okay okay okay so I know you know this is a LOT to unpack.

Mkay so I am 24 also (hi) some form of not cis (hi) and do have a crush on someone a fair bit older than me (33, not 38 though).

I love the idea of being with older men. The last guy I was seeing was 2 years older than me so like 26 now. Loved it. Love when older guys are interested in me. He was also going through a divorce and his son had just been born. It was a lot. I liveblogged the whole thing on here.

Dating older men comes with issues like that. And I have bpd so as soon as I FP someone yeah I’m instantly in love with them.

Dating older men can be hard when they say things about your future and shit like that- and I GET it, like it IS good advice even if you don’t want to hear it. I mean, when WE were under 16 how many people gave US good advice we didn’t want to hear at the time.

It sucks when you fuck up a good thing you had by confessing that you’re in love with someone who is not mutually in love with you. It reeeeally fucking sucks. Because either you hold that inside of you and you push it down and push it down and push it down, or you finally release it, let it go, and it fucks everything up.

There is no reason for you not to be hurt/upset about it even if you did expect it. Grieve. Let yourself grieve. Come into my inbox and dump all of this on me. Let people around you help you heal. Let me send you some love. I am holding your hand. I am telling you to some degree I have been there. To some degree I am there. And I know it gets better. Some day you’ll be like me, and you’ll be driving to work, and you’ll put on a new Fall Out Boy album that just came out, and you’ll cry, and you’ll realize through all the bad things, through all the shit and the hurt, this is why you stayed alive. You lived to be 23 so that you can hear Fall Out Boy put out new music.

And then you’ll be 24 and you’ll meet someone and they’ll change your world. And you think about how amazing it is that someone like this touched your life in some way, and that you can touch yours back. And you’ll meet up with old friends and make new ones.

And we’re so young, we’re SO young. It’s fucking wild to imagine this year (or next year) we’ll be half way to 50. That’s batshit insane. But like oh my god. The healing process that I’m going through is beautiful. Sure, there is a lot of stress. I’m failing the last class I need to graduate. My job stress is through the roof. I’m chronically ill. But outside of that I truly am continuing to live my best life every day.

I don’t know if you plan to try and keep on seeing him casually or if this really is the end for you. Either way this is just a bump in the road. 38 is so young too. We’re going to be okay. It’s a bad day. It’s gonna be a bad week. It might even be a bad month. Hell it might even be a bad year. But goddamn it if they don’t mean it when they say it’s not a bad life. It’s supposed to be almost 70 later today. I’m going to go work outside in the sun. My heartbreaks can’t stop me from creating art that I love. I saw a butterfly yesterday. Life is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Emotions are messy. They are disgusting. I hate them. But they’re poetic too.

Hell maybe this is all some Kumbaya bullshit I’m spouting. Idk. But I believe it. I really do. It takes work to believe in this shit. But it feels so much better when you do. Probably why cults work so well. Anyway!

It’s amazing that you got a chance to be with someone who is 38! I hope you look back on it fondly in a few years. And if you don’t then you’ll look back on yourself with kind eyes and think that at least in that moment you were happy and felt like it was what was best for you.

#punk gets mail #long post #dreamer anon

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 9 months

Text

tuesday again 8/8/2023

theoretically seeing two apartments this afternoon so i am taking the date as good luck

listening

the asteroids galaxy tour's the sun ain’t shinin no more. this was apparently a very famous iPod commercial song? wasn't paying attention to general popular culture when the original iPods were coming out. i would attempt to classify this as somewhere between the doors and smash mouth. spotify.

bitches by tove lo (feat charli xcx, icona pop, elliphant, ALMA). is this a good song? eh. is it fun to scream-sing while navigating through packs of lifted pickups whose hoods are higher than the roof of my moderately-sized hatchback? yes. spotify

how'd i find these? really leaning hard on spotify autogenerated dance playlists these days.

reading

normal pair of books to read at the same time

diana biller's hotel of secrets was an odd one. you CANNOT take away from this section "oh tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy hates consent" okay? i don't piss on the poor either. i had to really think about if i thought the sex scenes were jarringly modern and concluded no, they simply challenged my preconceptions of what a single mid-thirties woman in late 1800s vienna might get up to in a time when the best available methods of birth control were french letters. however, the lengthy discussion around consent and boundaries read as somewhat performative and out of place? or like a slightly different tone? than the rest of the actual sex scenes.

in many ways the romance was the b-plot to the hotel's inner workings and the international intrigue, which was fun. i enjoyed the a-plot enough to put a hold on biller's next romance, about a young american window in gilded age nyc. we'll see how that all shakes out!

i did not enjoy and did not finish chris miller's hefty pop history book on the history of microchip production and manufacture. got about a third of the way through. i think i most disliked his approach-- the technical style is very polished, one sentence flows into the next quite well, although we have very different opinions about the meaning of "intuitive" -- but we sit in very different seats watching the american political thunderdome. the way he presents his ideas is a bit jarring, bc it is an almost full-throated and uncritical endorsement of america's cold war diplomatic policies. i think many people would agree with me when i say those policies were not very good.

both of these have been on my holds list for months and i could not tell you the inciting incidents that made me place a hold.

watching

in my best friend's endless search for Things to Have on in the Background That Are Semi Child Friendly (or THBTASCF), i have viewed National Treasure (2004, dir. Turteltaub), Rush Hour (1998, dir. Ratner) and Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Ratner).

i cannot say i truly enjoyed any of these choices or that they have aged particularly well. national treasure has such an ominous looming of the whedonesque Well That Happened!!! that continues to infect movies.

also rewatched The Mummy (1999, dir. Sommers) bc i wanted a screenshot of the subtitles [YEEHAWING, GUNSHOTS] which is my Texas Adventure(TM) tag, but the subtitles on my pirate movie platform of choice are not that sophisticated. you'll simply have to take my word for it bc my dvd box set is still in storage.

playing

mainlining g/enshin impact. did not realize a whole nother goddamn country is being released next week. their every-six-weeks major content update schedule is batshit insane and i do not want to really think about the level of crunch happening over there.

the regions we have so far are legally-not-switzerland, not-china, not-japan, not-india, and we are going to not-france next. it has a real jules verne/twenty thousand leagues under the sea/steampunk vibe about it. look at this whimsical little deep-sea diver boy!

i have not enjoyed this past region (sumeru, legally-not-india) as much as the others. this may be due to the hiccup of seasonal depression i am experiencing. it may be bc this is the most Contiguous Landmass segment of the map and it's less segmented into individual regions than the other countries. it may be bc i have not spent quite as much time running around here as i have liyue (legally-not-china) which does feel genuinely comforting to run around. it may be bc the last time i played this game i still worked in the games industry and i still have residual brain weirdness about playing games.

i do appreciate their dedication to Big Fuckoff Trees tho.

making

fallow weeks. things are simply not percolating in time for yeehawgust, due to the agonies, and that's fine, i'm telling myself through gritted teeth.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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feelbokkie · 10 months

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pt 2 your writing????? i like it??? like lets be real this is a batshit insane plot but also you're doing an insanely good job keeping it? believeable? i'm down to clown i'm with it sometimes i read these aus and i'm like okay. we need to take a step back. this is a bit fantasy land right here. but like you've got me HOOKED i gotta know where we're going next, i can see the logical reasoning and the like, the emotions that are getting in the way of sound logical reasoning. and also most importantly it's highly entertaining like we're in the s tier of drama here, you can't really pile any more on top of what we're already unpacking 😂😂😂

If you saw all my old fics that I just orphaned rather than delete for some reason, you'd be like "how did we get here??"

S tier drama is correct. Even the book that inspired DLMLU is way more tame than this, at least I think it is I never finished it. Don't underestimate my ability to make things way worse because I can and will. Like in that book, the cousin stole mc's crush/ childhood friend from mc and then ended up cheating on him and marrying the guy she cheated with and invited her cousin whose she's fat shamed her entire life and said something like "you don't need a plus one because you're single" and she's like "actually, I'm dating your ex and we would love to be at your wedding" And I took that that simple fake dating plot and made it 100 times messier and we still have so much more to unpack!

Not only is DLMLU realistic, the bat shit nature is what's keeping everyone hooked and the fact that they want Bai and Chan to rot in hell while Felix and Y/n dance happily ever after over their graves. And while that's a believe and probable ending that everyone is expecting, it's just as easy for me to make Y/n end up with Chan because we can see how whipped Y/n is for Chan and some people do unfortunately end up with their toxic exes. And the exciting part it, none of you know which one I'm going to pick and you all have this need to see how it's going to end.

Disclaimer for anyone who is going to read below the cut, I'm not shitting on any fic writer at all. I'm just talking from experience as a seasoned fic writer.

But my main thing when writing, and reading, is that I love believability. Realistic fiction is my shit. Like, even when I'm writing fantasy, I need everything to be as realistic as possible. It's why I take so long to write, because I have to sit back and look at the situation and think "I'm not sure this works in this context" or "this doesn't make sense anymore." DLMLU already has a batshit plotline like you said, but readers still needs to be read this and be like, "oh yeah, that could happen." I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make everything connect like a beautiful puzzle.

Yesterday's chapter especially took a lot of planning because I had to do some mental math and realized that I fucked up the timeline a bit before I managed to fix everything. But that meant I had to get rid of some of my fantasyland details like Bai's engagement ring being Y/n's and the fact that Chan and Bai only had a one night stand.

I get the part of writing where you have so many ideas that you need to put them all down in one story, but yeah sometimes it does come out of left field. One thing I've learned in my 10+ years as a writer is that you need to be flexible. I understand being married to an idea but stories change and you have to learn to let go of a plot line or a small detail and go with the flow. Save those ideas for another story even. I'm a firm believer of believability over creativity.

#feelbokkie answers #dlmlu smau spoilers #dlmlu press tour

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sleepydrabbles · 1 year

Text

My frustration with most criticism leveled at manga artists and authors is that people end up addressing symptoms and not causes.

When I was 11 or 12, I wanted to be a manga artist. Part of this particular fixation meant reading a lot of manga and trying to imitate the styles— something you can still see in my art. I came across a manga called Bakuman that I would really recommend, because it gave me a better understanding of why manga has a bigger tendency to have huge plot holes, fucked up character development, and flat characters when compared to, say… published novels. I’ll need to dig it up sometime so I can show y’all specific stuff but for now I’ll work from memory… I need to get these thoughts down.

Most manga are published through weekly magazines, and the artists are expected to come up with a chapter a week. I’ve seen some shifts lately due to the work-related stress and injuries that have abounded as a consequence but that is where things started, and that meant manga artists had to come up with SOMETHING on a schedule, no matter how good or bad it was. (So yeah, that terrible pandering filler chapter/arc was probably a mangaka with a hell of a block.)

Then, within the magazine, there are frequent checks and polls to measure popularity— if a manga isn’t popular enough, it gets cut, whether or not it was finished. (Yeah, that manga you loved that had a really sudden and terrible ending? Probably more niche than you realized.)

Contrast this with traditional publishing (as I saw someone here doing, comparing Harry Potter to My Hero Academia): authors take years to write, and then they have to find an editor, and even if the whole story is published in segments they have at least a year between those segments to plan, write, and edit. NaNoWriMo winners have demonstrated that the writing phase can be finished in a month or two— the rest of the effort goes to editing.

Manga artists have an editor, sure, but that editor is on the same deadline. Worst-case scenario they get a day or two to read over the chapter.

Novels also tend to remain popular enough not to have to deal with getting cut— and most novelists will just finish in self-publishing if their publisher decides to terminate their contract. Manga artists simply move to the next idea, from what I’ve seen.

This leads to a system where, I kid you not, most artists are just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks. They get an idea, it gets dashed out, and then they see what happens. I can’t tell you how many artists I’ve seen express genuine surprise at the popularity of their ideas, and I think it’s just because that idea was one in maybe five or six that got submitted to the magazine that round. They have to figure it out as they go, and what does that mean? Plot holes.

And if a manga is popular enough, the expectation is that the manga artist will continue to make it… and make it… and make it. My dad joked once that you’ll always find another villain behind the latest big bad with these types of series, because the goal is not to create a cohesive story but to maintain audience attention as long as possible. My Hero may be in the middle of a final battle, but who knows whether AFO will actually turn out to be the ultimate villain— while Voldemort was clearly the problem and remained the problem for the entire Harry Potter series. (I’m working with the comparison I saw— I have some personal issues with JKR as an artist and a person that I won’t get into here.)

You see where I’m going with this, right? I sure hope so.

Learning that, as a manga artist, I would be expected to continue creating what gets popular no matter how I felt about it— that was what tanked my desire to become a manga artist. And I love manga to death, but I’ve also learned not to expect much of it because the system itself is designed in such a way that only the most batshit insane series with wild twists and turns and crazy unrealistic characters will succeed. Think about Naruto, Bleach, My Hero, ONE PIECE, etc. it’s a miracle there’s a plot line there at all.

Unfortunately, some people hold these manga to the same standard as Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Steelheart, Mistborn, etc. And as long as they do so, they’re going to be disappointed, because the manga publishing world is basically a reflection of the internet influencer world— “create till you drop and everyone forgets your name” is the goal of the game. Until we see some kickback against that system, you’re not going to see well-developed manga that are also popular.

If you do find one, congratulations! Cherish it. The mangaka probably had to kick a few shins to keep it true to their vision.

#manga #bnha critical #manga critical #anime #anime and manga #systematic issues #manga vs. novels #I can enjoy manga #because I expect manga to be shit #but I know fandom exploration will be great #manga artists have great ideas #the system ruins those ideas #fans can explore those ideas on their own #so of course fanwork has more depth #fix the system or lower your expectations… a lot

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bloodmoons-knife · 1 year

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HOO BOY apologies for not asking for a while!! needed to get some good questions-

alright, so, you mentioned how eri got kicked out of her pod right? what,,,,what did she do to sun and moon?? i mean, she couldn't have terrorized them the exact way our eclipse did so,, (i'm just realizing that this can be spoilers so you don't really have to answer this one-)

what do they do to destress?? i mean, we've seen how rust age regresses but we haven't really seen the others, unless i'm misremembering

is binary a canon theater kid

ALSO

how do you pronounce eridanus's name???? is it eri-dae-nus??? eri-dah-nus???? i'm so confused please

hello it is always lovely to see you in my inbox and notifications!!!!

eri did a Lot of psychological tormenting of sun, mainly. yknow how early eclipse was batshit insane and kept putting the boys in Situations? yeah. yeah she did that. constantly. i dont have a solid idea of Exactly what she did, other than similarities to pre-lunar eclipse torment being typical. she was in sun the same way eclipse was in sun, she just got out through magical means (unwillingly, for the most part)

destressing!! rust does age regress as everyone knows, but they also like to engage in their murder hobby for stress relief! aka they go hunting. they like to hunt. feral beast.

binary likes to read books, it actually makes him feel closer to his late brother, since his moon was so smart and everything, trying to become smarter is like honoring his memory to binary. and yes hes a theater kids he 100% goes and watches plays out in the town

nebula and destressing go together like oil and water. he just kinda stands there! nebula picks up stress and proceeds to never process it, ever. the best you get is him locking himself in his room and laying on the floor for a few days. he is not a good example for anyone dont be like nebula kids

eri likes to tinker with the random pieces of metal and machinery she can get her hands on. going for a nice swim outside the castle also helps keep her from murdering someone, as well! but only if the rivers and lakes are quiet. shes. not a social person

also i pronounce her name as "eri-dah-nus" but given its like, an actual Thing Name it has an actual pronunciation. hold on. yeah no im not pronouncing that. im going with my way.

anyway yeah shes name after the constellation thank my beloved joyfriend for it!! everyone clap and cheer or i will blow this whole place up!!!! 💚

#long live the king au #king sun | nebula #sun | binary #bloodmoon | rust #mer eclipse | eridanus #sun and moon show #i love these asks so much #i hope these are satisfactory answers uwu

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dweetwise · 2 years

Text

[Riconti] Good at pretending (part 10)

word count: 3.6k [previous] [next]

It was not exactly a surprise to wake up next to Ace again.

Neither of them had bothered with the pillow wall last night, seeing as Felix had no issues barging right through it the night before. Combined with the cozy night in, the chill of the mansion, and the fact that Ace ran warm like a furnace, it would almost have been stranger had Felix not found himself curled up around his friend come morning.

He had still apologized profusely – again – only to be assured that it was "completely fine" – again. But this time, Felix found that he actually believed it; if there was anyone comfortable with casual affection who wouldn't read too much into Felix's sudden need for sleep-cuddling, it was Ace.

They went about their morning routines in companionable silence, and Felix was leagues more calm than last morning as he and Ace eventually made their way down to breakfast.

That flew out the window as soon as an excited Vanessa barged into the breakfast room. The bride-to-be instantly descended upon Ace, presenting him with a choice in the day's itinerary: a spa day with the bridal party or a round of golf with Felix and his uncles.

Fortunately, Ace only took one look at Felix's panicked face – seemingly making out the telepathic message of "for the love of God don't leave me with Bernard" – before smiling and lying through his teeth that he'd love some pampering and gossip but he had already promised to be Felix's caddie.

Plans were made for the golfing group to meet up in front of the manor in thirty minutes to head to the course. Fortunately, nobody realized that neither Felix nor Ace were aware that this week would involve golf.

While they were rummaging through their wardrobes for something to wear, Ace struck up conversation.

"So golf, huh?" Ace said. "I wouldn't have guessed you played."

"And I wouldn't say that I do," Felix said. He inspected a polo shirt and figured it was as good as any in the absence of actual golf clothing. "It takes too much time and the small talk is abhorrent."

Ace chuckled and tossed a pair of capris on the bed. "I see the problem. Luckily we have all the time in the world and you've got me to handle the small talk."

Felix smiled into the closet. Lucky indeed.

Ace ended up borrowing one of Felix's shirts and they managed to hunt down a maid to fetch Felix's tennis shorts from the laundry room. And because of Ace's reassurance that they'd make it in time even with the detour, Felix only panicked a moderate amount about that fact instead of going batshit insane like he usually would.

In the end, they were ten minutes late (“fashionably late”, Ace had argued) but still ended up being the first ones ready. Standing in the estate's parking lot and waiting for the others to arrive, Felix could take a moment to relax while Ace curiously fiddled with the clubs and zippers of Felix's borrowed golf bag.

Felix noticed that his shirt was a little too big over Ace's shoulders but otherwise he looked great in it. It made Felix remember all the times they had shared clothes in the Entity's realm, back when they were desperate to get any kind of variety in the predictability of the trials.

They had been so close back then. How had Felix ever allowed them to drift apart after their escape? Even though he had been busy with work and his breakup, that was no excuse to neglect his friends.

"I've gotta confess, I have no idea what all these different clubs are even for," Ace suddenly spoke. "I'll probably be the shittiest caddie in golfing history."

"That's not your fault – I'm the one who dragged you along," Felix said. "I'm sorry about this. I know you would rather be at the spa."

"Well, normally, yes," Ace said. "You offer me a choice of a sport I know nothing about and a day of luxury, I'll pick the latter eleven times out of ten. But if it's a choice between spending time with you or the charming – yet grating – women of your family, I'll happily bear the burden of this golf bag."

Ace nudged the bag with a grin and Felix smiled, a weight rolling off his chest. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, sweetheart," Ace said with a smile before going back to messing with the clubs.

Felix glanced around in confusion, but nobody but the two of them were there to hear the pet name. Ace must have been getting into the lovey-dovey act in advance.

═════════════ ♤ ═════════════

When they were finally sitting in the limo on their way to the golf course – which was all kinds of ridiculous, but it was the only car that would fit the whole group – the groom immediately started making the dreaded small talk with Felix and Ace.

"Do you play golf?" the groom – Alexander, Felix recalled from their introduction two days ago – asked Ace.

He seemed genuinely curious instead of judgemental, and making it a point to speak in English was already earning him brownie points in Felix's book. Maybe Felix should have made more of an effort to talk to him before.

"Oh, God no," Ace laughed. "I don't have the patience for it – not like Felix here."

Ace ran a hand over Felix's shoulder and Felix tried not to lean into the touch.

"I'm just here for moral support," Ace said.

"Vanessa is the same," Alexander said. "I know she finds it boring, but she still comes with me sometimes. And she takes pictures of my swing."

Felix realized that this was the first time he had heard anyone speak positively about his cousin. In the midst of all these awful wedding activities, he had almost forgotten she possessed any redeeming qualities.

"That's so cute," Ace said. "You guys really are adorable together."

Alexander beamed. "Thank you!”

Felix thought the compliment sounded cheesy, but since the groom was clearly eating it up, he kept his mouth shut and let Ace handle the talking.

“It’s good to have you with us today,” Alexander continued. “It’s nice that you’re still coming along, even if you don't like the sport.”

"Yeah, well," Ace gestured to the bags on the other side of the limo, "I just hope I don't throw my back out carrying all this stuff around."

"Oh, don't worry,” Alexander said. “I called to book us golf carts in advance."

Ace's entire face lit up. "Alexander, you're the best."

Yeah, Felix decided. The groom really wasn’t bad at all.

═════════════ ♡ ═════════════

When they arrived at the country club, Ace volunteered to retrieve his and Felix's golf cart, allowing Felix to head down to the driving range for some much-needed practice.

The first few of Felix's swings were absolutely awful, making him glance around self-consciously to make sure nobody saw. But he pushed through the embarrassment and tried to get back into the zone – and even after so many years, it didn't take long for the muscle memory to kick in.

While recalling the familiar motions and the ball gradually getting closer to where he had aimed, Felix couldn't help reminiscing about the past.

His father was the one who taught Felix how to play. They spent many summers of Felix's youth on the course or the driving range, Felix's father instructing him about his swing and praising him when he succeeded. His father had also tried to push him to join groups of strangers or people his age – no doubt counting on 18 holes’ worth of forced socialization to chip away at Felix's social anxiety – but hadn't pushed after Felix kept declining. Felix had wanted golf to be something he shared with his father, and after his passing, it had been difficult to find the motivation to pick up his clubs again.

The sound of tires burning gravel snapped Felix out of his thoughts and he startled mid-swing as a golf cart came rushing down the hill to the range.

The other golfers gave strange looks to the speeding cart, but Felix couldn't help but smile as he recognized the designer sunglasses and manic grin behind the wheel.

The cart screeched to a stop next to Felix's mat.

"This is so much fun," Ace grinned.

And despite the golf etiquette breaking and slight concern for his well-being with such an unpredictable caddie, Felix felt giddy over Ace's obvious enjoyment.

"I suppose I don't need to ask which one of us is driving?" Felix asked.

"Nuh-uh, you drove us all the way here from Coburg. This is my time to shine!"

"I seem to recall you don't have a driver's license."

"Irrelevant. Now get in!"

Felix chuckled. "It's still twenty minutes until our tee-off. You'll have to wait."

"Boo," Ace huffed.

While Felix went back to practicing, Ace told him about the arrangements for the game. They would be splitting into two groups, with Felix playing with the groom, his best man and the fat uncle – Ace's words, and Felix only snorted and gently corrected him (“his name is Günther”). Ace seemed excited for the game; probably because he would get to drive like a maniac as Felix's caddie and because Bernard was in the other group.

Apart from the five of them, Agnes' pool boy would be joining their group as fat uncle's – err, Günther’s – caddie. Thus the other group would consist of Bernard, his son, as well as Felix’s third uncle Johann and his wife.

Feeling a little more confident about the day, Felix finally switched from practicing with his irons to his driver club. He placed his ball onto a tee and shuffled back on the mat – trying to ignore how nerve-wracking it was to feel Ace's eyes on him while he lined up his shot.

Felix ended up managing a decent drive – a little too much fade, but he got a clean hit – and Ace whistled lowly.

"You didn't tell me you were good at this," Ace said.

Felix shifted and tried not to let the praise go to his head. "Wait until we get to the actual course to make a judgment.”

Ace quieted down while Felix prepared for another shot. When that one was almost equal to the last and Felix even got some of the fade under control, Ace made a disbelieving huff.

"Seems my judgment is just fine. Didn't you just say you haven't played in a long time?" Ace said, an eyebrow quirked in accusation.

"I haven't," Felix said. "I try to go to the range a few times each summer, but it's been years since I played even half a course."

Ace hummed. "Maybe it's a good thing we were roped into this, then."

Felix doubted that, but he stayed silent and focused on his next shot.

…And maybe he put even more force into his swing, just to hear Ace's delighted cheer when the ball crossed the 250 meter mark.

═════════════ ♧ ═════════════

In the end, Ace turned out to be right: golf wasn't such a bad idea after all. Because for the first time since his father's passing, Felix found himself having fun on the field.

Ace drove just as recklessly as Felix had anticipated, pushing their golf cart to its limits when speeding down the hills and driving off the designated paths. And even though Felix clutched the handlebar for dear life whenever the car tilted dangerously to the side, more often than not he found himself laughing right alongside Ace's excited whooping.

Between the driving, Ace made a running commentary about Felix's and the others' game. Mostly, said commentary consisted of praising Felix even through terrible plays – like when Felix hit a stray branch that rocketed his ball in the complete opposite direction of where it was supposed to go.

"Wow, you actually managed to hit that thin branch! Nice precision aim," Ace grinned, effectively preventing Felix’s embarrassment.

If Felix had expected Ace to mostly lounge around in the cart while he and the others played, he could not have been more wrong. Despite Ace admitting that golf had never interested him, he made an incredible effort to learn; asking Felix about the different clubs and rules and etiquette, seeming genuinely interested in the answer.

"What's this club called?"

"What do those white pillars mean?"

"What about the red ones?"

"What's a mulligan?"

"What does handicap mean?"

"How do you even know where the damn hole is?"

And he learned. When Felix's next ball bounced out of bounds, Ace was immediately tossing him another one from the golf bag.

"That was just a practice shot," Ace said with a wink.

And in no time, Felix was asking for the wood-tree and five-iron and Ace effortlessly handed the right club to him. He also knew to avoid the green with the cart, fixed divots in the fairway when Felix duffed, and stopped talking as soon as someone was focusing on their shot nearby.

He also made bets – because of course he did, it was Ace.

"I bet you ten bucks – err, euros – that it's going in the bunker," Ace murmured when Günther was lining up his shot.

Felix smiled. "I don't have any cash on me."

"Fine, a backrub or something then," Ace shot back.

Felix didn’t even have to think twice. "Deal."

Günther narrowly avoided the bunker and Felix had never been so disappointed to win one of Ace's bets.

But when Ace shrugged and faced him with a grin while gesturing for Felix to turn around, he realized that maybe it was for the best. This way, Felix only had to deal with the embarrassment of strong hands working into his tense shoulders through the shirt, instead of getting free rein to the firm muscles of Ace's back and the sweat he could see pooling in the nape of his tanned neck.

═════════════ ♢ ═════════════

While waiting for their turn between holes, Ace and Felix mostly made chit-chat with the groom and his best man. They only caught glimpses of Bernard's group behind them. Said group’s game appeared to be going much slower, and based on the amount of beer cans Felix could spot in his least favorite uncle's golf cart, he wasn’t exactly surprised.

Through talking with Alexander, they also got confirmation that he did seem to be genuinely infatuated with Vanessa. He joked that even though she had become somewhat of a bridezilla with the wedding so close, she was normally a sweetheart. Not only that, but her social media career was apparently quite successful, having a large following and putting in a lot of work into editing her photos and videos.

It definitely made Felix feel a little bad for assuming that his cousin was just doing it all for attention – and especially for thinking she was marrying for money and not genuine love. Of course, he would rather die than confess any of that to his future cousin-in-law.

═════════════ ♤ ═════════════

The hours rolled by surprisingly fast and soon enough, Ace was driving them up to the 18th green. Right as Felix stepped out of the cart with his putter in hand, he suddenly had an idea.

"Do you want to make the final putt?" Felix asked Ace.

"Wha – me?" Ace exclaimed, clearly confused. "I barely even knew what a putter was three hours ago, I sure as hell don't know how to use one."

"Would you like me to teach you?" Felix asked.

"I –" Ace hesitated, glancing at Alexander.

"Go ahead," the groom encouraged. "We don't mind. Right, Günther?"

Günther merely grunted and waved his hand in a "go ahead" motion.

"Oh, what the hell," Ace grinned. "Do your worst, coach."

They waited for the others to finish their putts before Felix went over some of the basics with Ace. He demonstrated his grip and helped Ace line up the shot, with Ace staying quiet and uncharacteristically focused the entire time. Felix could see that Ace's body was tense and his grip ended up all wrong, but he didn't have the heart to correct him –

Ace's putt was about 30 degrees too far to the right and had enough force to almost make the ball roll off the green entirely.

Ace winced and looked up at Felix with a strained grin. "Oops."

Felix gave an encouraging smile. "Practice shot," he reminded.

That got a chuckle out of Ace. "You're right. Let me try that again."

Ever the trooper, Ace walked over to prepare for his next putt. But this time, when Felix saw him repeating the same mistakes, he had to intervene.

"Sorry," Felix said. "Can I…?"

"Of course!" Ace said. "In case you didn't notice, I desperately need the help."

Felix nodded and stepped behind Ace to get a better feel for his putting stance. He corrected Ace's grip and instructed him how to place his feet, showing him how to keep his wrists locked to control the momentum.

And it wasn't until he was guiding Ace to making practice swings, with one of his hands on Ace's wrist and the other on his hip, that Felix realized just how intimate the position was. He was plastered to Ace's back practically from head to toe, leaned over Ace's shoulder to murmur advice.

If the roles were reversed, Felix would probably have passed out from both giddy excitement and utter mortification.

As it stood now, Felix merely cleared his throat and took half a step back so the position wasn't quite so indecent. "Now give it a try."

Ace gave an acknowledging nod – making Felix thank his luck for the lack of a flirty comment – and shuffled into position by the ball. Felix kept the hand firm on Ace's hip, needing to steady both himself and Ace's swing.

Ace's shoulders moved and with the familiar clack of metal hitting composite rubber, Felix watched as the ball went in a perfectly straight line towards the hole, only coming about half a meter short.

"Nice job!" Alexander said.

"Perfectly lined," the best man agreed. "Just a little short."

"Well, it's an improvement, right?" Ace turned to face Felix, his questioning eyes searching Felix's for approval.

Approval which Felix was all too happy to give.

"You did great," Felix said. "Now just repeat it and we'll finish the round with a bogey."

Ace smirked and sauntered over to the ball. "Will the third time be the charm? Place your bets, gentlemen!"

The group chuckled before allowing Ace silence to focus. Felix was surprisingly tense while he waited for the stroke; objectively, it wasn't the hardest putt to make, but he had seen many experienced players choke on even shorter ones. With Ace's lack of experience it could go either way, but Felix so badly wanted him to succeed –

And with a clank and whirr, the ball tumbled into the hole.

The groom whooped and Ace turned to Felix with the brightest, most brilliant smile Felix had ever seen. It made the air leave his lungs and his heart skip a beat, and he wanted nothing more than to close the few steps of distance between them and pull Ace into his arms to kiss his smiling lips –

"Good game!" the best man said, snapping Felix out of it. "Nice putt, man."

The other players proceeded to shake hands amongst themselves and with Ace. Meanwhile, Felix was left reeling from his thoughts.

He had wanted to kiss Ace. Hell, he probably would have kissed Ace, had the others not intervened.

Would Ace have let him?

Felix was in a daze as the party shook his hand and started gathering their things. He barely registered the best man and Ace making plans to go to return to the country club for a drink while they waited for Bernard's group.

A firm hand landed on his shoulder and Felix looked up to see Alexander.

"Sorry, I –" Felix started, embarrassed over holding the group back.

"That's alright," Alexander assured, his hand falling away as he turned to look at Ace laughing with the best man. "Why haven't you taken him golfing before?"

"Ah." Felix scrambled to think of an appropriate lie. "I didn't think he would like it."

"Hmm," Alexander said. "I’ve learned that asking someone how they feel is better than just assuming.”

Felix's palms were starting to feel sweaty and he just nodded mutely. It was like Alexander knew about their situation, about how Felix constantly studied Ace to give him even the slightest clue to what the other was thinking –

"Regardless, I think he'd enjoy anything as long as it was with you," Alexander said.

Felix frowned and tilted his head in question. That was along the lines of what Ace had implied earlier, but how did Alexander sound so certain?

"The way you look at each other reminds me so much of me and Vanessa," Alexander clarified. "Last night, she was saying that she's never seen you smile this much."

Felix flushed at the knowledge that not only were his relatives gossiping about him, but his little crush might not be as discreet as he had thought. "Ah… really?"

Alex grinned and nudged him in the side. "Just make sure to invite us to the wedding."

While Felix was busy choking on his own tongue, Alexander merely laughed and slapped him on the back before returning to the others.

At the incessant beeping that was Ace abusing their golf cart’s horn, Felix finally rejoined the group. While they drove back to the country club, he listened to Ace crack jokes about Felix’s expert golf tutelage and tried to ignore his own nagging thoughts about how it was starting to seem like they might be selling the whole couple thing a little too well.

#riconti #felix richter #ace visconti #felix x ace #dbd #dead by daylight #dweetwrites #dbd fanfic

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damn-oh-dread · 2 years

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Assorted Chapter 16 - 24 thoughts

GALAD IS A WHITECLOAK NOW!?!?!? I really like Galad as a character. Crazy that he does the right thing no matter what and decided that that included joining the white cloaks.🤡 Very interested to see if he ends up protecting his sister and her friends therefore kind of supporting the Aes Sedai, an organization he is now theologically against, or if he hands them in, betraying the trust of his family which also seems like a big thing for him. Which side of right will win out inside of himself?

Gawyn * rolls eyes * I liked him at the beginning but ever since the Tower coup incident I do not like him at all. He’s so annoying! And the way he thinks he’s right about everything? No thank you. He and Egwene better not end up together or I will commit a crime. He does not deserve Egwene.

I’m really liking how this book has given us a lot of different perspectives! It’s refreshing to see what other characters are up to!

Elayne, Thom is basically your step-dad. Please, I am begging you.

Finally, the Black Ajah are going to be scary and not just a totally useless group of 12 people! I’m excited to actually be afraid of them. Absolutely loving Moghedien!

Glad to get the confirmation that Gaebril is indeed Rahvin.

The mind control/compulsion weave is super unnerving from the perspective of someone under the compulsion. The fact Morgase has months and months of fake memories is terrifying!

I would read an entire book about Morgase though ngl.

LINI!!!! I need Lini and Nynaeve to meet so bad. When she said, when you get to my age all sayings are old sayings, I lost it. I would die for Lini.

MORGASE WAS GONNA MARRY THOM SSFDDFSGSDGGDS

Wildly invested in this Morgase-Gareth-Siuan side plot.

I kind of want Morgase and Gareth to meet up before Gareth and Siuan just because I very badly want to see their exes reunion.

Ngl I have no idea what is going on with Padan Fain anymore. I was so sure he was going to be set up as a foil or some kind of parallel to Mat but he seems to be obsessed with Perrin now? Not sure why, but I’m loving his batshit insane vibe.

Something something Moiriane and her relationship to time. Her being like “I have no time” a couple of chapters ago to now being like your right your right we have time.

The Aiel honour system giving positive points to being Aes Sedai and negative points for being Cairhenin making Moiraine cancel out. Amazing.

Everytime Rand is forced to make a big choice I take psychic damage. Baby no... 🥺😢

I want to know more about Aiel Flower symbolism actually. What kinds of plants grow in the waste?

MAGIC SWORD MAGIC SWORD MAGIC SWORD I LOVE MAGIC SWORDS. The Cairhein sun motif just goes so hard. There better be a cool thematic thing that happens with this sword otherwise what is the point??? Also where is this sword from cause like I really doubt that Laman was a blademaster, man does not give me those vibes. SO HYPED FOR THIS MAGIC SWORD WITH A SORDID BACKSTORY!!!!

Just realized Mats thing has a raven on it. Does that have something to do with the Seanchan maybe? Like maybe the Seeker people with the raven tattoos? Or I guess it could just be cursed by the dark one or something. Mat would become un-possed just to go and immediately pick up another cursed object.

RAND BABY NO

What is up with that other doorway terangreal? WHY DOES MOIRAINE CARE ABOUT IT? I just need to know.

Nynaeve as the carnival book-keeper is everything I did not know I needed from life. Every second of screentime Nynaeve gets, I love her more. OF COURSE she says she's the book-keeper.

Everyone reading into everything Rand does as the madness. Me frantically pointing at mat: "is anyone gonna look at that???"

For real though, I don't think Rand is mad at all yet. The little bits and pieces of information we get from his past as Lews Therin are definitely starting him in that direction for sure but all of his choices have been well thought out and logical so far. A lot of characters are saying he's become colder and/or harder since starting on this journey that has now been almost an entire year and are quick to blame this change on the madness. But really all of his choices and decisions are of someone trying to gain trust and respect from those around them and doing what needs to be done. Like sorry Egwene but Rand has not become harder because of the madness. He has become harder because that's what he has needed to become to survive and gain followers.

#e reads fires of heaven #wheel of time book spoilers #wot book spoilers #wheel of time #the fires of heaven #please ignore all of the spelling errors I made in this #I wanna try and finish this book by tomorrow #then I'll have the entire long weekend to dedicate to lord of chaos #anyway I have joined the protect rand support squad #this man needs serious mental health support

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xx-vergil-xx · 2 years

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okay so I'm finally reading Hounds and I have to yell at you here, too because

DESIRE

you write them SO GOOD, you write them SO FRIGHTENING, the enormity and deepness and awful ceaselessness of human want! humans want CONSTANTLY! they want sex and they want love and they want violence! this is why I think that Dream and Desire are SO similar because dreams and desires cover the entire breadth of human emotion, the good and the bad! except Dream responded by repressing so hard he turned into a black hole and Desire responded by going fucking insane!!!

(also, on a more serious note -- how far into Hounds did you get when plot hit you? and was it something like that you just kinda realized you were writing it and it was going somewhere, or did you have a concrete idea that came to you? always interested in other writing processes, because i tend to start writing something for the ~aesthetic~ and then I'll have a plot that'll smack me in the head and I have to go back and redo stuff lol)

hello hello!!! first off, as a devoted patron of ur absurdly good work it’s an honor and a delight hello comrade in arms <3 <3 <3

thank u so much!!! writing desire was just so unbelievably fun bc it’s characters like that that are so fuckin maxed out knobs-turned-to-11 insane where for myself, as primarily a poet with a fondness for Strange and Off-Putting Language, i can just go crazy go stupid ya know? i fully agree with your desire and dream similarity thesis i really think that they hate each other because they are so similar that it drives them both up the wall — dream reviles desires indulgence and desire thinks dream has a major stick up his ass but deep down they’re two sides of the same lunatic coin, they’re batshit when it comes to any and all emotions (and dream’s repression continually bites him in the ass because his emotions get so compressed he inevitably spills over and lashes out — my favorite example being nada getting cast into hell like he’s so overcome with embarrassment and almost shame at rejection and also grief at what he’s done to her that it makes him act like a Major Fucking Asshole because he loses control anyway sidebar sidebar). i love desire and if i can work their voice back into the fic at a later point god knows i will because it was a joy to write them (on par with the corinthian who has been my FAVORITE voice so far ugh my blonde bastard beloved <3)

i too started with a Vibe Only — it was about half a chapter in my notes that was hob in a nightclub in berlin seeing someone who looked like dream (i think that became ch 3) and a chunk abt dream where i was trying to conceptualize how imprisonment in a body would work for a very non-corporeal being who can’t die, mostly as an experiment in body horror — hounds emerged from these little scraps and the plot has come along in organic fits and starts. not sure where ur at in ur read (holy shit i never imagined it would be as long as it is now) but little arcs sorta developed for me one after the other — the rescue trope first bc i am a sucker, then corinthian arc, and now this current one, and it’s sort of a ridiculous stroke of luck that they’ve all escalated on each other enough to form a coherent and rising plot that actually is leading up to the moment i’ve been beating my head against the wall abt for the last two days (thanks to @aberfaeth for her infinite wisdom and feedback and also giving me a god tier concept that i’m stealing to use). that’s often my typical process, i tend to go very organic, but i’ve never done it with something this long and i’m shocked it’s still functioning. hopefully this gift from the muses and the spirit of hob gadling continues onward as i desperately attempt to figure out how this is gonna resolve!

thank you a thousand times over for reading! <3

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fearofahumanplanet · 2 years

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hello and how are you?

we are here to give you some love back! :D

10 | 13 | 29 | 32 | 37 | 46

Also Known As: The Not Yet Dead Author @365runesofwriting

Holy hell that's a few questions. Hey Rune, I'm doing well - how are you??

"10. Do you set yourself deadlines?"

Yes, yes I do. For example, I plan on finishing Serpents' first draft by the end of December. It's a great way to keep myself on pace and motivated. Gotta be particularly hard on myself on that front :P

"13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished"

Oh boy. Okay, buckle in

Step 1 - get idea, usually in a situation where I can't write it down bc my Muse hates me

Step 2 - remember idea six months later if it's any good, write it down in story ideas doc

Step 3 - Two years later, scroll through list of story ideas when I finish a project and go "yes! this one! this one fits my brain worms and will for the next six or so months!"

Step 4 - buy twelve six-packs of Fanta

Step 5 - spend three all-nighters obsessively researching and coming up with characters

Step 6 - spend a week outlining and forget all my adult responsibilities

Step 7 - take a few days off when i remember i have an adult life, realize the characters don't like the plot i've outlined and re-write it

Step 8 - give up on perfecting the outline out of impatience and start writing the first draft

Step 9 - don't see the sun for six months

Step 9.5 - realize the characters still don't like plot and resort to improvising as they go off my carefully-planned rails, having to constantly adjust the plot on the fly as they do batshit insane nonsense

Step 10 - Finish a first draft. Go and write something else, take a few months off

Step 11 - thebrainwormsarenesting.jpeg

Step 12 - come back with an "objective" perspective and go through editing, sometimes rewriting the whole damn thing if my characters are still bitchy

Step 13 - rinse and repeat until I reach the third or fourth draft and decide it's completed to my satisfaction (it's not - but if i don't lie to myself I'll never stop)

Step 14 - go "that was the worst thing I've ever experienced, I'm never doing that again"

Step 15 - get reminded of one of my story ideas three days later and the cycle begins anew

"29. Favourite villain"

Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though he kinda had a redemption arc. For someone who had a CORRUPTION arc, see Jinx from Arcane.

(Yes I did two, shush)

"32. Most difficult character to write"

Badb, because she's way smarter than I am and having to come up with a bunch of ludicrous machinations and 4d chess plays that actually makes sense is absurdly difficult. The girl needs to calm the hell down

"37. First sentence of your current WIP"

"O Muse, voice of Melpomene, she whom deals in tragedy and loss… shine thine weeping eyes towards those serpents sequestered; reveal to me a love written in blood, and hide not from me the deepest depravities of broken beasts; let this vilified vessel lighten the deceitful burden that buried them."

(Yes, I quite literally did an ode to a Muse in the style of Odyssey and Illiad for Serpents)

"46. Do you reread your own stories?"

Sometimes on accident. I'll go back to edit some tiny thing, or I'll go back to fact-check something for a convo, and then I'll sit there for an hour re-reading the whole thing. I don't do it on purpose, but it is very nice to know the stories are engrossing, bc they sure do fucking ensnare me every time

Thanks for the asks!

#asks #besties tag

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incarnateirony · 3 months

Text

God it's 2024 an I think only just now did Shealyn realize, I was never doing Fucking Magic. I wasn't doing Witch Shit. Hence her inability to understand it. Because it wasn't made up horse shit off of whatever she believed on the day. It was like, an actual process and science and a whole bucket of quarter-century study on everything from psychology to piezoelectrism.

It's why you can't copy me, bitch. Your weird fuckin body pillow of my roleplay avatar you groomed your cult into humping like a psychopath is Mister Magic Octopus Man. You got that bitch confused with Psychotherapy somehow. Fix it.

You can't have a motherfucking universe where everything I or anyone else ever knew about him or his philosophy is wrong EXCEPT for my roleplay avatar's face, that shit's right, but naw, you can throw the rest in the trash, make up your own shit (well you don't, you literally stole anime jibberish cuz you can't even make up your own shit), wave your hands and delulu through with "ANYONE CAN PRACTICE HOW THEY WANT" bitch you are literally losing your mind, that's not magic and that's not practice, that's fucking dementia.

Get on some fucking antipsychotics. The anime octopus voices aren't gods, you're not possessed, you're not channeling, you didn't receive divine fucking rumpocky revelation, lemons are not powerful curses, you're just an early stage disassociative identity disorder that's floated under the radar. Schizophrenia, Shealyn. It's Schizophrenia.

Don't argue with me, fucking stop, and Mark, stop enabling this delusional shit. Let her argue about Jung to her fucking psychiatrist, even if you have to knock her out and drag her in involuntarily at this point.

You're all holding on to this absolutely batshit delusion because 1. she's basically been violating all of us and you don't want to deal with that but 2. you believed her fucking commands of the anime octopus god completely justifying the horse shit you all did to me 3. this would make you morally responsible for so much shit you will never let yourself face, top to bottom, but definitely starting at contributing to her coming apart at the seams this bad.

Like go grab a chunk of her ripped out hair and look at it. You did that. She didn't used to be like that. When you walked in for my sloppy seconds, she wasn't fucking like that, and you fucking know that. She had beautiful horse mane shit going on. You did some absolutely vile garbage to me because you didn't understand her, so I don't expect you to have any empathy for me since you proved you lack that already, but if you claim to love this woman, fucking HELP HER, and that's not enabling this shit. But no. No, then, you have to look at it. She's ripping out her motherfucking hair because she's a ball of fucking psychosis and anxiety that keeps trying to play a game to fill a void she can't replace and you keep letting her separate herself from her accountability or grieving processes with this horse shit so she's literally losing her fucking cracker and it's your fault.

So you're just... you're just gonna let her keep being like this.

You're all monsters, huh?

A pack of emotional vultures following around a schizoid spewing 2001 anime wisdom and becoming her attack dogs and somehow NOT recognizing you're acting like a cult, by literal and I do mean the literal definition of a cult.

Where she can make up whatever she wants and you guys guzzle it and laugh off the idea of actually reading another book, or even one core to what she's claiming. It's a cult, mark, and she has you on my dick, and she needs involuntary.

I don't care what lie you have to fucking tell yourself to cope with the fact that she's still after my dick this hard and using you as a proxy for me, okay, I fucking don't, but get this insane fat bitch medicated, this is definitionally nuts dude. Stop roleplaying with her or "channeling" for a few months. Just be like, you two, living together in real life, as you, and nobody else. See what motherfuckin happens.

Now ask yourself why I know about this shit, dude. How is it I know what she does with her Channeling, how is it I know she's humping you as/with/for me basically. Well because motherfucking Aaron Eema who she visualizes is me, my fucking roleplay character. It's either Me or Not Real At All, take your pick depending on perspective. And because she tried that shit with me and got confused why it just made me stop "practicing" around her. Any time she wasn't getting enough digital attention in RP it'd become channeling rp attention, but she didn't understand how clearly she was fucking it up, much like here in octopus language fetish land y'all are stuck sitting in rn. You're not special, the gods haven't taken an interest in you specifically, you're not screwing deities, you're just the next sucker in line that she glued my face on and is calling it magic. If you've been groomed into thinking you "sense" anything she's talking about, that's probably my astral cock she's had you tugging on.

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