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terrortomato · 3 years

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AUTISTICLY INFODUMPING ABOUT CROCODILES AND THE PICK 2 MEME

Absolutely livid at how underestimated crocodiles are in that pick two meme. You absolute fucking dumbshits think 10,000 rats, literally a species that survives mostly by excessive breeding and typically serves the purpose of being food for predators higher in the food chain, are going to suddenly become ravenous bloodthirsty tyrants and skin their prey alive with their shitty little front teeth that usually leave a little scratch, can defeat 10 crocodiles, an undefeated, armored apex predator species of 80 fucking million years. You would probably have more luck sending 100 horses to fight them you absolute fucking fridge temperature IQ brainlets.

Crocodiles are intelligent, tactical and cooperative hunters just as much as the lions and wolves on the list of options. They have extremely high aggression so they're perfect for a combat situation unlike the 10,000 rats or even the grizzly bears that people seem to fall for. Depending on when theyve had their breeding season, you may get the pick of the strongest dominant males, the survivors of the culling of breeding competitors. Around the breeding season of Crocs, male crocs tend to go absolutely fucking beast mode and achieve some really insane hunts. They're far less likely to retreat but they still properly evaluate their prey. They typically only retreat when theyve run out of stamina.

They're generally speedy on land but only for short distances, this is ofc because their hunting style is more stealth and surprise oriented - the speed is used for the final lunge. That being said, if this is some kind of battle royale then inevitably a crocodiles opponent will have to attack, it doesnt need to run at all, it can just wait stealthily like it normally does. Obviously if the battle is taking place near or on a body of water then all other opponents are done for. They can swim at about 20kmh effortlessly and for very long periods of time. The crocodiles preferred technique is maiming their prey and drowning them while ripping them apart all in one swift movement so obviously a body of water adds a massive advantage. Theres no out-swimming a crocodile and theres a very low chance of survival for pretty much every mammal.

On the topic of speed, despite their bulky appearance, they're extremely agile in close combat. Often once their opponent is close, their battle ends quick in the crocodiles favor because they can use the weight of their tails to whip their heads behind them should a predator attack from behind.

Also, saltwater crocodiles grow up to like 2,200 lbs. While this takes a toll on their stamina on land, it massively contributes to their superior ability to wrestle their prey. By catching their prey in their jaws and throwing their weight around, they rip their prey into chunks and crush its bones. They can also throw their weight around when galloping on land to help gain momentum, increasing their speed similarly to how a rabbit runs.

Crocodiles only have 24 teeth. Their only purpose is to grip prey and they do that extremely well, even if the prey is barely in their mouth. Crocodiles dont chew their food, they crush it with their jaws and rip it apart as mentioned above. I should probably also mention that THEY HAVE THE STRONGEST BITE OUT OF ANY LIVING BEING ON THE PLANET! Thats right! Stronger than a hippopotamus. That's approximately 3,700 lbs per square inch of force in just one bite, sometimes even more if it's a big saltie lad.

They have extremely strong bones structures on it's back called osteoderms on top of their dermal armor. THIS CAN MAKE THEM PARTIALLY BULLETPROOF!! Of course, whether its effective against bullets depends on the caliber of gun, the distance its shot from and where the shot lands on the croc. That being said, almost everywhere except its belly is covered in strong dermal armour. To get a clean shot, you need to have a high caliber gun, be relatively close (risky) and you can only one shot it if its exposing its belly or the side of its neck... which is not going to happen if its focused on you and not something above it. The hunter in this situation would definitely want to distract it with bait so they can sneak up close and get the shot.

The main challenges to the crocodile in this situation would be the 50 eagles. The odds are balanced out mostly in numbers here. A potential weak spot for the crocodiles here are the eyes. If the eagles were to go for the eyes, that would obviously be extremely risky given how close it is to the jaw. Not only that but Crocodiles can hold their breath underwater for an hour. Theres a chance that crocodiles could hold their own against eagle attacks for long enough before eventually landing bites on all 50 eagles. Itd be a lengthy, monumental task for only 10 of them though. With the eagles strength in numbers, one could lure the crocodile to jump up from water or land while other eagles could then attack its exposed belly. If this battle takes place on land, they could slash around the crocodiles throats. The numbers here lead more likely to an eagle victory, but a crocodile victory is not impossible.

I've seen some people claim that crocodiles are the weaker option because they're so close to the ground that you can just jump over them. This absolutely hysterical because you're jumping directly into their line of fire! Try to jump over a crocodile headed towards you and you're basically doing all of the work for them. But yeah sure dude! Why not shoot your shot :)

Now I think most people have come to the reasonable conclusion that almost every animal would probably die in this situation and the winner wouldnt be clear at all. Its true that it would mostly just be a loss for everyone. Crocodiles arent exempt from that likelihood. The 10,000 rats are obviously going to have more survivors however they provide absolutely no attack or defense capabilities so they're a useless option if you're picking a team to defend you. Also crocodiles can live up to 100 years old whereas rats live up to about 4 years. Should this battle take place over many years, the crocodiles would probably just live off eating the rats after the other predator species are taken down, making it the clear winner over the rats. Theres absolutely nothing a rat can do to harm a crocodile given how strong the dermal armour of a croc is. All rats can do is run away.

As for the rest, 10 is a very generous number of crocodiles given that you're only offered 1 human, 15 wolves, 7 bulls, 5 gorillas, all significantly weaker animals that the crocodiles could wipe the floor with in the animal kingdom.

The grizzlys normally would be a challenge but because the OP of the pick 2 meme underestimated crocs, we have 10 crocs and 3 bears. A swift bite to the leg of a bear and a heavy throw to the ground for it to be attacked by another crocodile would have the bears finished in minutes. The claws of the bear, blunt or sharp would be a tickle on a crocs armor. Normally blunt bear claw can crush skulls in a single blow. This wouldnt work on a crocodile anywhere near as effectively as crocodiles have an exoskeleton and one of the sturdiest skulls in the animal kingdom. A bear bite is weak as shit compared to crocs and it would be weak against a croc as well for reasons I just stated. A bear wouldnt want to get their head too close to a croc anyway because itd give the croc an opportunity for a single-bite kill around the skull and neck. Granted the bears are faster on land but they're not particularly agile in close combat. Usually this isnt an issue in the bears habitat but in the case of a crocodile, theyll get caught by those quick jaws. These poor bastards have to fight each other anyway in this scenario so the crocodiles would conserves energy by waiting for the bears to get close. In terms of temperament, grizzlies wouldnt go near crocs unless the crocs were actively threatening them. Even then, a heavy tail whip could stun a grizzly and some degree of hesitation or even a retreat. From the perspective of some massive hungry crocs however, 3 grizzly bears might look appetizing and with the unwavering gameness of locked-jaw male crocs, the bears would be fucked.

The 4 lions would be an even bigger challenge because lions are even faster than bears. Both are apex predators of their habitats so normally, it would all come down to who's habitat they're fighting on. That being said, theres been many records of large male nile crocs confronting entire packs of lions on land and coming out on top. And once again, the OP underestimated crocodiles. We have 10 crocodiles and 4 lions. The crocs clearly clap the lions here.

Overall, the strength is determined by how many encounter each other + whether or not the animals are injured or starved + the strength and defense of each animal. That being said its fucking ASTOUNDING to me that barely anyone picks the APEX PREDATOR FOR TENS OF MILLIONS OF YEARS, COMPLETELY UNEVOLVED SINCE, PERFECTED IN THE ART OF HUNTING AND STILL LOW RISK OF EXTINCTION over 10,000 small, defenseless, lower in the food chain animals that dont attack in the way people are hypothetically strategizing and are easy food for every other animal listed.

#crocodiles #pick 2 meme #pick two meme #infodumping #idk what to tag this im just baffled #are people really stupid or am i just slowly losing it #anyway the top pick would be crocs and eagles #actuallyautistic

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keyflight790 · 4 years

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2019 Fic Wrap-up

Hi all! This is more for my shitty memory, so I’m going to hide it all under the fold, but I wanted to do a little summary of the 45 (what???) fics, art and podfics I posted on A03 this year. Some of them are unrevealed, so they’re left off (erised, owlpost, mini-fest, etc) (heres my 2018 wrap-up!)

Total Word Count: 181k

Number of Fests: 12

Number of Stories/Art posted to AO3: 45 (including 5 arts & 2 podfics!)

Drarry: 24

Drarryville: 3

Neville/Others: 9

Ron/Draco: 3

Ginsy: 2

Other: 4

Most Kudos Fic: Tending the Flames

Most Commented on Fic: I Just Want to be Fucking, Happy

Fic with the most Hits: Tending the Flames

Fic with the Highest Word Count: Risks Worth Taking

Fic I’m Most Proud of: Risks Worth Taking

Tumblr Drabbles:

Drarry - Harry and Draco in class

Drarry - Daddy Potter & smol Draco

Veela!Neville

Drarry - Stockings

Drarry - Discord Drabble

Drarry - Royal AU

Drarry - You’re enjoying this so much, aren’t you?

Drarryville - Flu

Drarry - Nobody knows you better

Drarry - thirsty Harry

Drarry - Poem

Drarry - Harry looks like sex

Drarry - Moving in

Silver trio - Nightmare

Drarryville - spoiling

Silver trio - alone

Fics

Drarry

General, Teen, Mature

Two Minutes - gifted to @hatsonhamburgers and based off of How I Met your Mother

Coffee Cup - gifted to @call-me-hopelesss - Coffee Shop AU

Fear - written for the @hpdarkarts My Bloody Valentine Minifest and was later podficced by smirkingcat!

Explicit - Top Harry

Catching the Niffler - written with @tsundanire for @bixgirl1 and it got amazing art!!! thanks @cheekytorah-laceybauthor!

Fake It til you Make It - favourite line - “It’s all pretend. Surely even you can pretend to be happy, Potter.”

Risks worth Taking - written for the @hpconsentfest for @thirdeyeblinkings and theres a cat named Marzipan

Hook(up) - written for father @fantom-ftnoise and involves a hook and fucking off Ministry Time

Delay(ed) - I watched porn and then wrote it what even is my life now. Harry doms but bottoms in this one

Quite a Big Mission You've Got There - written for bixgirl1, I think I ran out of innuendos and I don’t care.

Explicit - Daddy Harry (all written for or with @mothermalfoy)

Feathers and Lace - the tinkling bells are one of my fav additions

Tending the Flames - i cant believe this is my most read fic ever, I wrote it in an afternoon. I’ve spent months on others 😂

Come On, Potter - Draco is such a shit when he’s horny

His Noble Love - written with @mothermalfoy, I haven’t written a full AU before, and really enjoyed this one (esp. protective knight Harry unfff)

Explicit - Top Draco

Dragontamer - written for @dewitty1 for her bday and the @dracotops-harry fest -

I just want to be Fucking, Happy? - written for @lqtraintracks after binging several fics, fighting then fucking is my entire drarry aesthetic

Last Christmas (I gave you my cock) - written for the @wireless-festive-minifest and @tsundanire ‘s birthday, I came up with the title before I even started the fic

Explicit - No Top/Bottom

Bolt in the Darkness - Written for my first @hpdailydeviant and based off of lightning kink

Everything to Lose - written for the @hd-fan-fair and it has my fav pet so far, Niles the Knarl

Other

Dron - I wrote three Drons, all for @ohlookagaydraco!

Checkmate - for the @rondracofest

Swallow it Down - ofc Ron has a food kink

Absolution - Draco has needs and Ron is able to help

Drarryville

Sexting Station - @jeldenil wrote Sexting Central and was so gracious to let me respond

Get The Engine Running - and then we wrote some amazingness together!

Small Comforts - based off of @upthehillart ‘s artwork with trans!harry for the @growing-neville fest and one of my biggest accomplishments of the year for sure

Herbtamer

Cups and Swords for @awesomedig - they write such amazing herbtamer, and I was so excited to write this pairing for them

Tugging on My Heart(strings) for @buttertyrant for the rarepairshorts summer fest - and has CARDIGAN KINK which, I mean...so Nev.

Dreville - The Sun, The Heat - written for @dreville, who shares my love for Neville and Draco

Neville/Luna/Rolf - Fire and Ice - written for @hpdailydeviant and I did a ton of research on how candles are made - all which was irrelevant to the fic

Harry/all the other Gryffindors - Dare for a Lion - for @malenkayacherepakha -Dom!Neville and Ron being all wide eyed and Harry feeling safe, and I just love how comfy these boys are together tbh. There’s a part II coming in February, so...get excited!

Silver Trio - Looking Forward To - written for the @chubbynevillefest I have a real soft spot for these three

Ginsy - Let Me - gifted to @fleetofshippyships and theres an entire 3k more that I need to flush out and finish

Neville/Minerva McGonagall - Darling - written for the @hpdaddyfest and feels like the best/worst fic Ive written all year - it was definitely a guilty pleasure of mine to write these two, but I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to do it again.

Foam Friends

Flonks - Protection Detail by nachodiablo for the @hpwlwbigbang - I made a gif and finally it worked...I think.

Ginsy - Single and Snacking in Phoenix, AZ by @violetclarity for the @hpwlwbigbang - Ginsy flies!!!

Jeddy - Blind Adventure for @shiftylinguini who I admire through foam so often

Podfics - my first year doing these!

Drarry - Thursday Mornings

Herbtamer - The Gladdest Thing Under the Sun by @tackytigerfic

This list doesn’t include the 5 or so fics that are still anon.

Thanks for checking out my year in review! Consider yourself tagged if I’ve tagged you in this, or if you’ve made it down this far!!! Happy Christmas everyone!

#keyflightwrites #2019 wrapup #so much neville #so many fests

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diolchi · 7 years

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tagged by @gayrielreyes thank uuuu it’s been ages since i’ve done one of these!!!! i feel like i’ve kinda been outside the fandom sphere for a while but i’ll do my best

RULES: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag some friends.

i choose :

last exile (it’ll be weird but i’ll try doing it from the perspective of like... watching the series i guess?? i’ll try)

gorillaz

various fire emblem games

The first character you loved:

HMMM... lavie

noodle

my memory is hazy but kurthnaga maybe

The character you never expected to love so much:

dunya

del... i didn’t expect i’d miss him still :(

SULLY!!!

The character you relate to most:

me, myself, dio

idk i guess a lot of things abt 2-D are familiar to me as far as like, his stimming and some of what he says / how he speaks cos of neurodevelopmental stuff. same goes for how murdoc runs his mouth sometimes it’s like a relatable manic feeling

HMHMM IDK someone once said i reminded them of libra? i’ve always felt like i have an fe kin but the memories have been obscured or s/t because i can’t puzzle out Who

The character you’d slap:

mullin

murdoc lol

there’s a few i’m sure but off the top of my head? tharja

Three favourite characters (these are in order of preference):

lucciola, alvis, i’d put immelmann on here but lavie gets a spot if i’m honest

they’re all four my favourite. murdoc can be kicked into the time-out corner tho

ranulf, niles, oh fuck there’s a lot of characters but hmhmhmhm my fondness for sully earns her a place here

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore

idk i had fun fixating on/teasing immelmann but after... everything our r/s became even more strained so it wasn’t fun anymore. still like him ofc but! It’s Complicated

idk they’ve all grown on me, so,

gaius maybe?

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

mullin... would still slap him tho

i never disliked russ but he’s definitely done the most growing on me, i love the Truth he’s been speaking in recent stuff, hope we get more of it

ike. his biceps in his first radiant dawn cutscene probably played a part

3 OTP’s:

in a supportive, not weird shippy way, maybe tatiana/alister, fam/millia, and mullin/dunya. don’t know how the hets grew on me but!

everyone + good mental health, happiness, and healthy relationships

osian says him/niles. i say idc really but i have some random pairings with lon’qu i’m fond of? i don’t have many strong opinions here though

i tag: UHHHHHH if we’re mutuals and you want to do this please do so!!!! i love hearing ppl talk about this stuff but i don’t want anyone to feel obligated

#.txt #AHGHGHGGG this was difficult but i was happy to get tagged + it was a nice distraction #!!!!!!!!

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