#and let Falin live

[azuresquirrel]

Dungeon Meshi manga is ending THIS WEEK the weekend is going to be a time for fucking coping, my dudes

#Dunmeshi #Dungeon Meshi #my stupid lesbian brain asking Ryoko Kui to ignore every thematic thread she has set up #and let Falin live #not even to ship - just let her be happy!!! #let her eat monsters with her equally autistic brother!!! is that too much!!!! #surrounding myself with the bottles of hubris

[forgotmysword]

Not one person has mentioned marcille’s fucking breath hitch/quiver in the dub. Im literally foaming at the mouth.

#EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU EMILY RUDD #i am also upset that the ressurection scene did not live up to our expectations #but for now lets all enjoy the fact that the anime made it obvious that marcille only freaked out bc falin was using her mana #and not bc it was getting gay #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #marcille donato #falin touden #my posts

[pollyanna-nana]

Thinking about Thistle’s potential character dynamics with the others.

He and Marcille have so much in common I bet after the initial awkwardness they’d have so much to talk about wrt feeling out of place and being scared of watching loved ones die before you.

I think he and Chilchuck would squabble a lot but in the “oh this is a punk ass teenager” kind of way. Ultimately though Chil’s a dad he can’t hold it against him.

I bet he’d be rly annoyed by Laios’ monster infodumping but secretly be fascinated and love listening to it. Probably gets called out for it at least once and is extremely embarrassed while Laios is oblivious (as always).

Senshi I actually think they’d get along well upon realizing that they both have a lot of experience thinking about and tending dungeon ecosystems but from different directions (as dungeon dweller and dungeon lord). Plus he would absolutely try to get Thistle to eat more.

Izutsumi I can see them clashing because their backstories actually have a lot of similarities except with very different reactions to the circumstances (Izutsumi hating her captors/the people who bought her and Thistle desperately wanting to please them) but in reality I think if they ever got over that they’d be terrifying together. Absolutely unhinged potential sibling energy if I’m being honest.

Falin would mother hen him into the ground but that’s a given. I can foresee him having to hide from the Falin-Senshi tag team “you need to take better care of yourself!” duo on a regular basis lol.

Mithrun. lol. Obviously Thistle hates his guts for (mostly) irrational reasons but I think hilariously Mithrun has a lot of respect for him. Bc like. He had a really good reason to become dungeon lord comparatively and we all know Mithrun’s favorite thing is talking about how much of a lil bitch he was prior to getting his desires eaten.

Kabru I’m not sure but I think there would be hostilities. Thistle I think would call him out for being fake immediately and with Kabru’s Elf Baggage™️ it might not go well at least at first.

Basically. Give him the found family he deserves.

#polly speaks #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #thistle dungeon meshi #thistle posting #laios touden #marcille donato #chilchuck tims #Izutsumi #Senshi #Falin touden #Mithrun #Kabru #dungeon meta #does anyone see my vision #all I’m saying is if you let him live Kui we could have all of this and more

[reloaderror]

falin but give her baby falin's hair and outfit

#baby falin lives rent free in my head #dungeon meshi #falin touden #my art #hans dungeon meshi debut? probably will be more of a one time guest appearance let's be real

[wombrion]

In your modern farcille comics do you see that as them still having had the dungeon adventures in the past?

mmmm not sure! like idk if id put them in a full normal life au where theres just different human races and no magic, or one where there could b magic elements still. its modern thats for sure. but i dont know to which extent there could be even dungeons on that context or how would they work. maybe it could be considered cave exploring but spicier (its pretty much that anyways). i made marcille a med student while falin n laios stay unemployed and degreeless. thats my extent on worldbuilding in this au

#in any case if it was full modern no magic falin got hit by a car and went into a coma for a while and then got fine👍 #maybe not fully unemployed but working odd jobs like on their broke era #marcille complied on letting falin live w her after she dropped out and then laios came along like a combo deal marcille didnt know she had

[amoena55]

Awwwwwwww marcilllllleeee you gay assssss 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

#dungeon meshi #marcille donato #falin touden #lets go lesbians #amoena live blogging

[wrongplaceworsttime]

every time a new dungeon meshi chapter comes out all i can think of is that one post that’s like “me when i’m in a doomed by the narrative competition and my opponent is falin” 

where’s that post. i need it

#IDK HOW THIS SERIES WILL END #idk if ryoko kui is just luring us all into a false sense of hope rn or if she does intend to let falin live #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers

[xenodile]

i'm curious which characters you were thinking of in dungeon meshi when you reblogged this? :eyes: post/677467068400058368

Well if it's not been made obvious by now, I live and breathe the Touden Elf Sandwich. As I've said before Marcille and Falin are adorable, happy for them, the story never once looks at the camera and tells you what their relationship is but anyone with and without eyes can see exactly what it is, but Laios and Marcille just make me insane.

Like if I tried to go into it I would be here for hours, reduced to incoherent babbling because everything about how they interact with each other, the slight subtle things in how they see each other, especially because it's not as straightforward or easy to figure out as the others.

I think that Laios and Marcille are absolutely in love, but they also have so much shit going on and are wrapped up in so many layers of their respective complexes that it's going to take like, years for them to actually figure that out, and longer than that to, god forbid, do anything about it, if anything even changes at all. And it will definitely require Falin acting as an intermediary because they're so fucking complicated about it.

#saccharineomens #Like I see it as like #Laios and Marcille living together being painfully domestic #while Falin is off on her own finally traveling where she wants for months at a time #and other people go like 'oh are you two a couple' #Laios goes 'haha no we're just friends' while internally screaming in horror that someone has found him out and reaching for his sword #while Marcille goes 'WHAT of course not that's ridiculous' then goes back to her room to dunk her head in ice water #because she is with FALIN and will NOT let herself think any harder about how much she likes Laios #and that happens like once a week like clockwork

[drumlincountry]

Watching the dungeon meshi anime is really scary. Americans in there.

#Idk I read the manga forgetting that America existed #In my mind they have normal accents u know #Marcelle is an incredibly out of touch posh girl so she's from dalkey or if we r going international with it she's a posh londoner #Chilchuck is so obviously a working class lad from like. Well my heart tells me Fermanagh but somewhere more industrial would make more sen #From Fermanagh worked for years in Belfast lets say #Laios is some doctor's son from a small town who went to blackrock college & got bullied so badly that he left to be a spelunker #Falin also went to a boarding school. It went better. #Senshi is my uncle who lived in a shed without plumbing or electricity for 3 years #If they are American Chilchuck should at least have the accent from the city where good will hunting is set. #Me Fein #Dungeon meshi

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Laios Touden #Dungeon Meshi meta #you can have him in the tags too. as a treat. #Dungeon Meshi spoilers #this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply #this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps #I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate #but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know #also I included image descriptions! I did my best #I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys #musings with Dea

[shizukateal]

You bitches don't get it. It's not fanservice for Falins bazongas to bounce as she splats a woman's skull like a pancake, it's her DIVINE, SACRED RIGHT. If I were a deadly, winged creature delivering swift-yet-elegant death by the sheer power of my descent alone then my massive tits better fucking contribute to the aesthetic™️, the vibe™️, whatever you want to call it. What, you want them to stay still as stone while my hair lifts like a halo around my face with my charming smile plastered on????? fuck off!!!!!!!! let a girl live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#dungeon meshi #falin touden

[cupofmilkyway]

Laios' Art

Haven't seen any posts talking about this and it's one if not my favorite Laios detail so I HAD to share|

I noticed when I was reading through the manga that this drawing was silly for more reasons that the obvious, like how the chimera body looks fine but then the human Falin is all stick arms and goofy expressions.

It's so easy to chalk it up to Laios just not being great at drawing, cause we have seen him draw himself in a previous chapter (the one with the living paintings) and it was a very simplified shape too.

BUT THEN ON THE SAME CHAPTER A BIT LATER-

HE GOES AND DRAWS THIS GORGEOUS CERBERUS(?) LIKE HUH?? SIR?

And near the end of the manga they show us his (probably pretty old but) OC monster and it looks cool too!!!

So he IS a good artist!! He just. Does Not Care about humans. So he can't draw them. Which is SO funny because, same, for a good while when I was young I didn't have any clue how people worked so I drew my humans with paws and like, snout looking noses.

Guy who's autism won't let him draw anything that isn't related to his special interest trying to draw it regardless

Laios my beloved keep drawing your quirked up creatures like you're supposed to <3

#arek yells #dungeon meshi #laios touden #delicious in dungeon #i dont like that translation but sure #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers

[laikabu]

mr wasia himself… it’s pretty long, so i put all his info under the cut

“Makalu” Real name: (first name) Touden His real first name is sort of irrelevant since everyone calls him by Makalu.

Likes: Pastries Dislikes: Steamed vegetables

Has a Northern name, but everyone calls him by this one.

Despite looking a lot like Kabru, he has Laios’s face.

Doesn’t want to inherit the throne; instead, he desires to travel the world to meet new people and see real, live monsters with his beloved aunt, Falin.

Likes monster cuisine for the most part, much to Kabru’s disappointment, but he is a very picky eater. He doesn’t like monsters that taste like vegetables, for instance

Relationships with other people:

He finds Kabru boring and often zones out when scolded by him. However, despite this, Kabru is the first person he seeks comfort from. Kabru tries not to be overbearing, but sometimes he can't help but regularly interfere.

He loves Laios deeply but resents that Laios is too occupied with royal duties to spend time with him. Laios is thrilled to share his love of monsters with his son but fears his son will face the same ostracism he did as a child.

Marcille is very fond of him and tries hard to win his favor, but he often seems to ignore her (ow…). They were very close when he was a toddler, but she would always hand him over to someone else whenever he started crying.

Yaad always seemed to be on the verge of a heart attack around him. As a small child, he would always ask specifically for a piggyback ride from Yaad.

As a younger child, Izutsumi was his favorite person. Although she doesn’t feel strongly about him, she enjoyed cuddling with him to sleep when he was little because he was very warm.

Falin is the most beloved person in his life. They regularly exchanged letters and would always wait for her by the pier the day she arrives in Melini. She often sneaked into his window to take him out to visit caves and forests behind others’ backs. Both of them knew that she wouldn’t be able to take him out anymore if anyone found out, so it became their little secret.

Chilchuck would sometimes let him stay in his shop, and he's rather fond of him despite not showing it. As a toddler, he would always ask to be carried, but it always ended in Chilchuck complaining about a sore back. By the age of five, Makalu had already surpassed Chilchuck's height.

He doesn’t see Senshi as often as the others, but he loves Senshi's cooking. He would eat monster food that he usually doesn’t like when it’s cooked by Senshi. Senshi tends to feed him a lot, much to the annoyance of Kabru.

He’s rather fond of Milsiril, but he doesn’t understand why his parents won’t let her spend time with him.

#cringe fankid dungeon meshi oc little guy #he’s basically a kabru preset with laios’s face #my art #labru #makalu

[sabertoothwalrus]

here are some preliminary sketches I had done in my sketchbook for the peepaw chilchuck comic.

I wanted to follow it up with some worldbuilding thoughts I had while working on it, if that sort of thing is interesting to anyone:

- it’d take place 5ish years post-canon

- I changed almost everyone’s hair to show time had passed. Chilchuck and Kabru were the most drastic (I COULDNT STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT LONG HAIR KABRU THAT KUI DREW), Marcille grew out her bangs, Senshi’s beard is slightly shorter, and Izutsumi’s hair is mildly longer. Laios and Falin give me the impression that they’re the brand of neurodivergent that’d pick one haircut and stick to it for the rest of their lives. I almost gave Laios facial hair but idk he’s gotten over his daddy issue enough for that.

- Emertim Chils: I tried to follow both the half-foot and dwarven naming conventions for the baby, so Emer- comes from “emerald” (dwarven names are often gemstones or ore) and -tim because Chilchuck’s father’s first name was Tim :) Dwarves don’t have family names, so Emertim would take Chils, same as Flertom. Usually they’re named after their father but I didn’t wanna name a random dwarf man. thank you Chel for helping name him 🫶💕

- Initially the idea that Chilchuck would keep an entire grandchild a secret was just a joke, but it made sense when I thought about it. I wonder,, would dwarf/half-foot couples have trouble conceiving? Because if so, I’d imagine Flertom may have lost a couple pregnancies. Chilchuck is already such a private person, and I don’t think he’d feel comfortable airing his daughter’s grief like that. They wouldn’t wanna tell anyone until they were sure this baby was gonna make it.

- For the above reason, Chilchuck would absolutely spoil this kid. Not that he wouldn’t have spoiled his grandkids anyway, but I think after all that stress, he’d be extra extra doting. He’d be letting him do things he’d never DREAM of letting his own daughters do. Completely different parenting style.

- I think he’s still too prideful to take advantage of Laios being King (sidenote: is Laios even wealthy??? does a kingdom that sprung up from a previously-sunken continent even have money?? what the fuck is their economy), but like,,, if Laios offered any gifts he wouldn’t exactly say no.

- Izutsumi surprisingly really likes the baby :3 she’d like to take naps with him and he’d like her purrs and she’d have a lot of fun playing with him.

- SENSHI. meemaw mode. That kid would grow up not realizing Senshi isn’t technically one of his grandads. He is FEEEEEDING this kid.

- LAIOS DOES GET TO HOLD THE BABY!!!!!! just. eventually. They don’t actually expect a Tarrare situation LMAO they just wait until the kid is a little less fragile and a little more mobile. I think Laios would be really good with toddlers.

- Chilchuck is very thankful Emertim’s half-foot genes kick in sooner than later because he was getting too big for him to carry.

- Emertim would probably get the extended lifespan. He and Marcille would get to stay friends for a very very long time :’)

- my personal headcanon is that Chilchuck and his wife decide to split. He still loves her and it’s probably still a bit mutual, but after four years of almost no-contact, they decide their communication issues aren’t working well for their relationship. Plus, the Adventurer’s Bible says Chilchuck is renting their old house out to family, and he’d feel bad kicking them out so he and wife could move back in. They’d still be on good terms, and would be good at coordinating when to babysit.

#do yall like this sort of post…? #my art #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #chilchuck tims

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'

#its late -_- idk if this fullly gets across what i mean but ive been thinking about this for weeks #dungeon meshi #recovery #cooking tag #disordered eating cw #im on chp 31 atm but im like. squinting and steepling my fingers looking for this theme as i go now

[shisurus]

okay but did you think about the fact laios already feels responsible for taking her last breath... this story started with falin sacrificing her life for him, dying in front of his eyes- so that "worst case scenario" already happened. at the beginning he thought all he had to do to fix things is simply bring her back to life like they had done before, but then it was his decision that led her to a fate arguably even worse than death; a reality where the very reason he wanted to save her was erased from her mind, with her becoming a chimera puppet. a reality where he is forced to fight a monster in the form of his sister.

for that reason, his choice to kill falin on his own isn't about saving everyone else from the horror of this "possible" outcome as much as it is him finally facing his own guilt for all he had done: from abandoning her during their childhood to bringing her with him to the island and living a life of hunger and danger at the cost of the safe future she could've had without him, eventually resulting in her dying while being all alone. but unlike his choice to leave their village, this time she was the one forcing him to leave her behind- an act that was not only done out of pure love but was also the result of a lifetime of internalizing the notion that everyone she loves always takes priority over herself.

so when it came to that point in chapter 67, killing her was his way of not abandoning her anymore. taking her last breath to carry alone, so he can never let go of her again. even if they wouldn't have succeeded in resurrecting her, then at least he gave her one last precious memory, at least he didn't let her sleep starving again- which is in direct contrast with her death at the beginning of the series that was caused by their hunger and its effects. but more, or perhaps even most importantly, at least he didn't let her die alone this time- having her most beloved person experiencing the horrors of her death with her while her dear friends are witnessing her suffering that she was trying so hard to shield them from until now.

and in those moments, it was without a doubt falin struggling against him along with the dragon. because of her brother forcing her to make a choice once more, she finally revealed her most raw, selfish and intrinsic side by fighting him back, scratching and pushing and screaming and harming the person she always put first instead of quietly giving up her own life. dying by the hands of love instead of dying for love. in choosing herself this time, it might be what gave her soul the strength to choose living by the end of the series- living a life of her own. and for laios, this was just as essential to his personal growth as well as the first step in his atonement: redoing it "the right way".

#this chapter did something irreversible to my brain #the “sibling fight” we didnt want but needed #anyways this is me replying to my own post from 3 years ago. haha... #dungeon meshi #laios touden #falin touden