#and joel of course but that's the least of my worries lol

[theflyingfeeling]

BC + New Year's Resolutions 🎇

bonus:

previously in this series: BC New Year's Resolutions for 2023 and 2022

#blind channel #🎆 happy new year! 🎆 #the last one's a joke 😭 #(at least if one is to believe what he said on twitch about someone having given him their smoke to hold lol) #also: tag urself i think i'm niko this time 🙃 #and joel of course but that's the least of my worries lol #also also: i think joonas did pretty well with his last year's resolution of documenting more of himself being pretty! 🥺

[dilfspitdrinker]

Let The Light In | Joel Miller x reader

Description: You’ve been babysitting Joel Miller’s daughter all summer. No matter now much you try to deny it, you know you’re into him. But it’s just a little crush that you thought could never be reciprocated, until one fateful phone call. The shift between you two is irresistible, and you’re in for more than you ever anticipated. A/N: I love the babysitter trope lol, also pre outbreak Joel makes me feral. Basically, I couldn't resist writing and posting this, it's lived in the notes app for long enough. Masterlist Chapter 2

Chapter 1

You listened to the rings intently, praying that Joel would pick up the phone but dreading the moment he does.

The fresh night breeze swept over you the moment you swung open the door, exiting the frat house. You didn’t know when it had started raining, but you didn’t care, it was still better than the suffocating atmosphere inside.

Joel answered on the fourth ring, “Hey, is something wrong?” The worry in his voice was apparent, and you couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic for having to ask this.

“I’m so sorry to bother you Joel, I know it’s late but… do you think you could pick me up?”

Before you could even explain yourself, he responded, “Of course I can, where are you?”

You told him the address, watching people stumble out of the door. You wrapped an arm around yourself, as if that could shield you from the downpour.

“Alright darlin’, I’ll be right there, stay put.”

“Okay, please hurry, I’m hoping to leave without anyone noticing-“

Bursting out the door was the guy you came here with, his whole demeanor looking irritated and volatile. He caught your gaze and walked over to you, feigning a more cool attitude.

“Hey, that’s where you went! Come on, the party’s inside,” he tried tugging you along, but you took a step back.

“I’ll be right in, I’m talking to one of my friends,” you attempted a smile, desperate to not provoke his anger.

He raised an eyebrow, “Your friend a chick?”

In a split second you decided that maybe you shouldn’t give any indication that you’re actually asking a grown ass man to come get you. The only response you could manage: “Yeah.”

“Cool, tell her to pull up,” he started walking back towards the door, “and hurry up, I got a drink waiting for you babe.”

Only after he closed the door did you go back to your phone conversation. “Sorry about that.”

“Who was that?” Joel’s voice turned low and serious.

“The guy I came here with,” you sighed, embarrassed.

“Why’re you hanging around assholes like that?”

“I don’t know, I have a class with him and he randomly started talking to me and he didn’t seem so douchey at first. But I should’ve known he’d be the same as every other frat boy,” you rambled, excluding how he’d been trying to get you to drink since the minute you two showed up.

Joel’s tone softened a bit, “Don’t beat yourself up darlin’. Nothin’ wrong with trying to see the good in others, but that doesn’t mean you should overlook the negatives, either. I’m almost there, alright?”

He’d have to be going at least 20 over the speed limit to be almost here. You were about to insist that he slow down, be careful, if you’re gonna get me I need you to actually make it here. But the rain stopped you from protesting as the chill seeped into your bones. About an hour ago it was such a warm night, you decided to forgo a jacket. Heavily regretted that now as your clothes and hair quickly got soaked.

A few anxious and cold minutes later, a pair of headlights finally approached. You cut through the lawn to meet him as the black pick up truck rolled up next to the crowded driveway.

“Hey darlin’,” he greeted you as you climbed in. God, you poor thing, you looked like a wet puppy, it made him want to wrap you in a warm blanket and scoop you up.

“Hi Joel. Thank you so much for getting me, I know it’s late.”

“It’s no inconvenience to me, I was still awake anyway,” he glanced over at you, adding, “And I’m glad you know that I got you whenever you need me.”

You nodded, suppressing a smile. Once your seatbelt was on, he drove away, and a sense of relief washed over you.

You’d been babysitting Joel’s daughter Sarah all summer, and in that time you and Joel had really grown fond of each other. Not that either of you showed it much. He was your employer, and at least 10 years older than you anyway. At best, you figured he thought of you as family. Still, you didn’t want to push it, since it would be all too easy for the lines to get blurry, and you both knew that. But he clearly cared deeply for you, and would often remind you to call if you need anything, anytime. And tonight was the occasion. You’d only convinced yourself to dial Joel’s number by telling yourself that there wasn’t really anyone else you could call. You were still new to Austin, and hadn’t made any solid friends yet this early in the semester. Sarah was pretty much your best friend now, and Joel…

It was a conscious effort to keep him at arms length.

He broke the silence, “So, I didn’t really think frat parties were your thing.”

“They’re not. I was barely there for an hour and already looking for a way to leave,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. At least I knew not to drink anything.”

“Very smart. Good job looking out for yourself there.” You noticed the way his calloused hands gripped the wheel. “That guy, does he know where you live?”

“Yeah,” you swallowed, thinking of the same worst case scenarios.

He paused for a minute, hoping this wouldn’t come out the wrong way, “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. I don’t want you staying at your place alone tonight. You can stay at mine, I’ll set up the pull out couch.”

The truck came to a stop at an otherwise deserted intersection. A left would lead to his place, continuing straight would take you to yours.

He turned to you, “What do you think?”

The suggestion caught you off guard. The thought of sleeping at his place filled you with a sort of nervous excitement, like you were about to do something you shouldn’t. It definitely felt like you’d be overstepping a very delicate boundary. But he offered, so it would be no harm, right?

“I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he added, voice earnest.

The light turned green. He waited for your response.

“Sounds good,” you nodded.

The truck took a left turn, and you two were silent for the rest of the ride.

At his house, you stood in the living room, feeling strangely out of place. You had been here so many times to look after Sarah, but being here without that purpose made you feel like an awkward guest.

Placing his keys on the coffee table, Joel said without looking at you, “Alright, you go take a shower, warm up. Take as long as you need.”

The statement made you red in the face, but you weren’t about to refuse. You’d had a shitty night, you needed this.

In the bathroom, you winced at yourself in the mirror. You were a bit of a mess, and became newly embarrassed that Joel had to see you so disheveled. Your hair was soaked from the rain, and you knew that would make it dry all frizzy. Couldn’t hurt to wash it, even though that would take some extra time… Joel did just tell you to take as much time as you need. But you already felt a little opportunistic for agreeing to stay the night at his house, you didn’t want to take advantage of his hospitality by hiking up his bills. You sighed at your reflection. Your clothes were dark with rainwater, and peeling them off made you shiver. Take as long as you need echoed in your mind. The way his voice had turned so gentle made you shiver too.

You turned the knob until the water was nice and steamy. Sweet relief. Felt like a warm hug. Don’t think about Joel hugging you. You took a look at the shampoo options. A bright pink bottle with a unicorn on it, obviously Sarah’s. Smelled like an artificial fruit salad. The bottle next to it was dark green, the label declaring cypress and mint. You went with that one, trying to ignore the fact that it’s Joel’s shampoo. Something about that felt a little too intimate.

Then came two gentle knocks at the door, followed by his voice, “I set out some dry clothes for you in my room. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready.”

You sighed contently. You scrubbed your hair clean, soap and worries washing down the drain.

His room was right next to the bathroom, and out of sight from the kitchen. Wrapped in a towel, you scampered over to the bedroom.

There you saw some folded clothes set on the corner of the bed. Somehow it didn’t occur to you before that it would be his clothes. You slipped on the sweatpants, the extra fabric bunching around your ankles. The sleeves of the hoodie covered your hands entirely. Not allowing yourself to indulge your fantasies, instead you were a little mortified about this whole situation. You almost didn’t want to step out there and face him. But you had to, thinking it would be weird if you stayed in his room any longer.

As if to avoid creating a disturbance, you treaded lightly down the hall and rounded the corner into the kitchen. He was sitting at the small dining table, and quickly lifted his eyes.

He could hardly believe the sight before him. His clothes hanging loosely off your shoulders and hips. Hair still damp, framing your face. Straight out of his daydreams. Every time you came to look after Sarah, he secretly loved your little outfits and hairstyles, but you’ve never looked this good.

“Can I throw these in the dryer?” you asked, holding the bundle of your wet clothes.

His voice caught in his throat for a moment, “Of course-“

You already turned to do it yourself before he could offer. In the minute you were away, he noticed his heart beating faster than it should, and scolded himself.

Returning to the table, you eyed a plate of food that you hadn’t noticed before. “What’s all this?” you asked.

“Uh, sorry, it’s just leftovers, but I figured you might want something warm.”

You looked at him tenderly, voice soft, “Oh, Joel. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Taking a seat, you noticed that he sure was of course-ing all over the place tonight. You stared down at the reheated chicken and rice, wondering if he was uncomfortable.

From the corner of your eye, you saw the way he leaned in before asking, “You alright?”

You smiled a little, “Yeah, I just feel kinda bad for making you take me in.”

“You’re not makin’ me do anything.”

You lifted your eyes to meet his. God his eyes were gorgeous, just his stare was enough to charm you.

“Any plans for the rest of the weekend?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“Well if you’re not busy studying, I’m sure Sarah would would love to have you around. I’ll be here too, but I’ll still pay you.”

“You paying me just to hang around now?” you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning.

He chuckled, shaking his head. You finished your plate while you two talked about Sarah, her new friends, her plight with fractions. This felt more familiar, more comfortable.

He frowned, “Lately when I’ve been dropping her off at school, some boy is always there waitin’ to say hi.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that Joel. They’re like 12.”

“I know, it just gets me thinking about what it’ll be like when she’s in high school.”

“Cross that bridge when you get there.”

He sighed. “I just wish I knew what to expect.”

In that moment, you realized that this might be his roundabout way of opening up to you. You could only imagine how difficult it must be to navigate single fatherhood, especially having a daughter.

He cleared his throat. “I know this is none of my business, and you’re right, I don’t need to be worrying about it yet, but… do you have any boy advice for me?”

You laughed, maybe a little too loud, “You’re asking the wrong person, Joel. I’m not super experienced in that field.”

A playful glint appeared in his eyes that you’d never seen before. “What? Come on now, you’re too pretty to not have at least 10 boyfriends.”

You caught that, but shook your head.

“You tellin’ me you weren’t prom queen?”

“I was too dorky for that,” you waved him off.

“Well,” he leaned back in his chair, and your eyes skimmed over his broad shoulders, “here’s my boy advice for you.”

“I’m listening,” you grinned.

“Don’t hang around boys.”

“Gotcha,” you nodded, “so you’re saying I should go after men.”

He caught that, but dodged the implication. “Well, I’m sayin’ most of these college guys are still boys in here,” he tapped on his forehead.

“You’re telling me.”

He grabbed your now empty plate, and announced while placing it in the sink, “The room’s all yours when you’re ready.”

You looked at him with confusion across your face.

He motioned toward the hall, in the direction of his bedroom.

It finally dawned on you, he meant he’s going to sleep on the couch. Immediately you protested, “Joel. Come on. I’m not taking your room, the couch is fine-“

“No, no, no. This is not up for debate,” he pointed at you, “You need a good night’s rest.”

“Joel I’ll sleep fine on the cou-“

“I’m not fightin’ you on this.”

You stared at each other for a moment, a stand off you knew you’d lose. You finally cracked under his unrelenting gaze, but had to make one last effort, “You’ve done more than enough for me tonight.”

“I’d do damn near anything for you,” he couldn’t stop himself from confessing, but he almost didn’t care if it meant you’d take his bed. He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but he wanted you there, and not just because it was courteous to offer. To know that you were wrapped in his sheets, head cradled by his pillow, your breath filling his space.

You let out a sigh, “Fine.”

“Good. Thought I’d have to drag you.”

You chuckled, and in your mind flashed an image of him picking you up and tossing you onto the bed, oh God he’s so strong he could do that so easily-

You banished the thought, pulling yourself back to reality, but another idea invaded your mind. “Thank you so much Joel. I really owe you for this.”

“You don’t owe me nothin’. I’m glad you know that I’m here for you.”

If this whole situation hadn’t already overstepped a boundary, this certainly would, but you really couldn’t help yourself. You took a step forward, pulling him into a hug. Every nerve in his skin suddenly became hypersensitive to the feeling of your hands on his torso, moving to his back. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, then froze. You smelled like him. You, in his clothes. You, with his scent. You, in his arms. He could only hope that his heart wasn’t beating too loud.

You pulled away from each other, hands lingering a second longer than necessary.

“Sleep tight, darlin’.”

“You too.”

“And sleep in as long as like.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me know if you want an extra blanket or anything-“

“Goodnight Joel,” you laughed, walking away from him finally.

When you closed yourself into his room, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

You both laid awake for a while, having the same doubts, ruminating on words, body language, tone, meanings that may or may not have indicated something else.

You tried to be objective. He’s naturally generous, kind hearted beneath a bit of a rough exterior. He was instinctually nurturing, look how devoted he is to his daughter. Besides, with her to look out for, he wouldn’t want some silly college girl. He takes his responsibilities as a father very seriously and as far as you knew, he avoided things and people that would disrupt her life.

You’re a sweet girl, he reasoned that you hugged him because that was your nature and nothing else. One night at his place didn’t mean anything beyond what it was: you called and he answered. He knew nothing would come of it, ridiculous to think anything would, really. Young, promising college students like you don’t go involving themselves with middle aged men with children, not unless the man was rich, which he definitely wasn’t.

These thoughts kept you both awake, so finally you each relented to the more hopeful side, even if it was just a fantasy to doze off to.

Cheek pressed against Joel’s pillow, surrounded by his scent, you sleepily indulged in the thought that he treated you special because he felt a special way for you. Maybe he’s even protective of you.

Hand tucked under a cushion, he entertained the idea of you knowing that you want a man who wouldn’t waste your time. Someone who has some real experience in the world and knows what they want.

He was starting to think that insisting you spend the night was the worst idea he’s ever had.

Chapter 2 Masterlist

#joel miller #tlou #pedro pascal #joel x reader #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #tlou hbo #joel the last of us

[fandom-blackhole]

Can I get some hurt/comfort with Joel. ❤️ you can choose whatever scenario

You can get whatever you want my lovely anon <3. I hope you like this! Sorry it took me so long, school keeps me busy and I got a little side tracked with my GoW obsession lol. Thanks for the request!

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS for both tlou p1 and p2, just spoilers in general, not edited, reader has no gender or physical description, no y/n

WC: 1.8k

Summary: Reader comforts Joel when he comes back to Jackson.

You didn’t know much. You knew that Ellie had left in the middle of the night, not saying a single word to anyone and only taking a horse and a few supplies with her. You also knew that she had left a small note behind for Joel to find, and once he had, every drop of rationality in his body flew out the window as he flew out of Jackson on the back of his own horse, his own supplies and weapons haphazardly packed. You’d watched him leave with an ache in your heart, a feeling of foreboding gripping your very being. 

And you stood there watching the long closed gates that Joel had disappeared though. You’re not really sure how long you stood there, worry etched on your features, no one bothered you, just walked past you as if you were merely a statue, cold and frozen. Of course, at some point you heard the tell of whispers behind you. They weren’t good whispers however, you could make out just enough to piece their conversion together.

“How long have they been standin’ there,” Tommy’s voice carried over to where you stood. The second voice hesitated, but once they spoke up you recognized it as a local named Chris, you assumed he was probably on guard duty for the day.

“Since Joel left. Hasn’t moved a muscle. I’m not even completely sure they’ve blinked.”

A tired and concerned sigh followed before Maria’s voice answered, “Thanks Chris, you can return to your work now. I’ll go talk to them. Tommy, think you can take care of things without burning the town to the ground until I get them settled?”

From the corner of your eye you watched Tommy lean down and press a quick kiss to Maria’s temple and reply, “I can make no promises, but I sure will try not to.”

You heard more than saw Tommy leave as your gaze focused back onto the gate. You knew deep down that both Joel and Ellie were going to be gone for a few days at least, but you couldn’t pull your eyes from the wooden frames. Something also told you that both of them would come back unharmed, at least physically, emotionally you weren’t so sure. Something was going to be shifted when Joel and Ellie got back, for better or worse you weren’t sure.

So as Maria’s hand came to rest on your shoulder, you looked to her with a half hearted smile, one you knew she could see through. She did not acknowledge it however, instead she only gave a small knowing smile of her own and offered, “How about we go round up some lunch for ourselves?”

---

A week passed, and a few more days on top of it. Each day you found yourself taking the long way to and from your daily work around town just so you could pass the gate, and with each disappointing pass your heart squeezed in worry. 

They're both fine, if anyone can survive running around out there it's Joel and Ellie, you find yourself repeating in your head over and over in attempts to overshadow the doubts and anxieties that have kept you up at night and have you zoning out while working during the day. Tommy and Maria have often had to come and break you from your thoughts, both showing their worry for you and sharing reassurances, but each time your heart aches and whispers saying, they'll come back but they aren't going to be the same. 

And you can't break the anxious cycle. So here you find yourself now, curled in the corner of your faded and worn couch, eyes fixed across the room on the mantle of your unlit fireplace, on a small wooden duck carving which Joel had gifted you while almost bashfully brushing away your praise at his craftsmanship. You could still see the light dusting of red across his cheeks as you had told him how much the gift meant to you. Now though, as you looked at the carefully carved feathers, your eyes started to swim, your anxieties louder than any reassurance tonight.

You sat there for awhile, night long fallen and light disappearing from the room and limiting your view of the room, of the carving. You now you could stand, could cross the room and turn on the lamp that stood there and brighten the room once more, but instead you find yourself unwilling to move, unable to even let the tears clouding your eyes fall. Repeatedly you tell yourself to just move, to go to your room and at least lay down and try to rest.

The calls to rest finally started to settle deep in your bones. The exhaustion of very little sleep over the last few days cause you body to sag and limbs feel as heavy as they truly are. So with a sigh to muster what little energy you have left in your creaking joints, you slowly unfurl yourself from the corner of the couch and start towards your room. You find yourself pausing at your door frame though, as the soft sound of footsteps on your porch reach your ears in the deafening quiet. You stand there, ears searching for more noise and holding your breath and just as you have made up your mind that your sleep deprived state has managed to get out of had and made you start to hallucinate, that is when a hesitant but sturdy knock echoed from your door and you find your mind quiet for the first time in over a week as you slowly approach your door and pull it open. 

There standing there with his head down and shoulders slumped you find Joel. When you open the door he lifts his head enough to meet your gaze, and in those swirling hazel eyes you find a broken and sad man, and you find that in the shock and worry of seeing such an emotion on Joel’s face energy fills your tired body once more.

"Tommy…Tommy told me that I should come tell you I made it back. He said that after I'd left in a rush you'd been in a constant state of worry over me n' Ellie," Joel manages to say, his voice obviously thick with emotion and tiredness. 

Without a word, or much thought, you stepped aside and motioned him to come in. Joel hesitates for a moment at the threshold but crosses into your home. 

"Sorry if I woke you," he says as you walk over to turn on the light you'd been trying to convince yourself to turn on for most of the night. You just shook your head at him and gave him a tired smile, "You didn't."

Quiet surrounded the two of you after that, both standing on opposite sides of the room and both unsure how to broach the thickness standing between the two of you. Eventually, after a few too many quiet moments, you find yourself unable to resist the draw towards Joel. So gently and slowly, you take a few cautious steps towards him until you finally find yourself standing in front of him. 

"What happened Joel," you gently whisper.

It seemed whatever composure Joel had had at that moment was broken by your soft question. A single tear dropped from one of his eyes and he opened his mouth to try and speak, but all he could get out was a stuttered, "I-i…i…," before his head dropped and he shook his head, his chest rising and falling with silent sobs.

Heart in your throat, you reached out and cupped both sides of his face bringing Joel to look at you once more. You didn't say anything, knowing it better to just wait and let Joel speak for himself, so you wiped his tears away as he leaned into your comfort for a sense of support with closed eyes and you watched the strong man crumble in a way you never thought he could.

"I've lost her…I've lost Ellie, and I don't think she'll ever forgive me," Joel finally manages to choke out once his tears stopped only a few minutes after they began.

Heartbreaking at his sorrow, you continue to rub soothing circles into his cheeks until he opened his eyes and met your own.

"Joel," you whisper full of worry, "what happened out there?"

He stared into your eyes for a few moments, his thoughts flickering across his eyes as it was clear he was grappling and hesitating with something, but eventually he only shook his head with a sigh and pulled back out of your hands. When he finally spoke again, his voice was clearer, closer to what it usually sounds like, less emotion slipping through the cracks of the high walls he had built.

"Ellie…she learned the truth…of a lie i have been telling her for-for years," he pauses and looks down at his boots, "And because of that lie, she hates me now."

You want to reach out for him again, you want to tell him that that can't be the case, that Ellie does love him, but you can't because you don't know what all has happened between the two of them, it's been a secret the two had always guarded closely. So instead, with a heavy heart, you grab his hand, squeezing it in what you hope will feel reassuring.

"I…Joel, I won't ask for you to tell me more, but I want you know I am here to listen…I don't care what's happened in your past, I only wish to help. So…so I am here, for you, whenever you need…"

You squeeze his hand again seeing his eyes lock with yours easier now, his emotions and hurt still echoing in their depths. 

And after a few seconds he nods, squeezing your hand back, gripping your hand in a way that seemed to ask you not to leave him, to stay. So you smile softly and reach forward with your free hand, cupping Joel’s cheek, and say, "Stay…tonight? Here with me?"

Joel doesn't say anything, his eyes flickering between your own before nodding. 

After that neither of you speak. You lock your door and Joel removes his coat and boots, leaving both by your couch before turning off the lamp. Both of you move quietly to your room. You crawl onto your bed first and once you're fully situated Joel follows you. Once both of you are under the blankets and facing each other, he hesitates before curling into you, he buries his head into your neck and you move your one of your hands to bury in his hair at the nape of his neck, tracing circles and press your nose to the top of his head. 

Just as you are drifting off to sleep, Joel's own soft breathing matching your own, you whisper, "Goodnight Joel."

And as you're consciousness is fading away, you feel Joel intertwine his fingers with your free hand and whisper back, "Thank you."

Requests are open! Please send them to my askbox! <3 Thanks for Reading!!!

#joel miller x reader #joel x reader #tlou #hurt with comfort #tlou spoilers

[arielhopepeace]

Part Four

18+ only

Tw: mention of cancer, mention of death, anxiety, panic attacks, insecurity, emotional abuse, gun use, slight exhibitionism, edging, teasing, dirty talk, phone sex, age gap, praising

9,200 words (holy hell I’m so sorry lol)

Y/n

You find yourself zoning out at the back of the classroom as your students gather their things together in preparation for dismissal. You've barely managed to teach today due to the memory of Joel's sultry voice in your ear, and his lips all over your wet skin. Last night was a fantasy come to life, and you've been craving his touch ever since.

How soon is too soon to see him again? Will you really let him know how desperate you are after already pleading for him last night? You feel embarrassed at the memory, your mind avoiding that to recall his hot breath against your neck as he swirled your button full of nerves with his skilled fingers.

"Ms. Y/l/n?" a small voice snaps you back to reality. "I found my essay."

You smile, shaking your head slightly as you grab the paper from the little girl in front of your desk. "Thank you," you beam at her. "If you haven't turned in your essay, please make sure to hand it in before you leave!" you announce to the rest of the class.

A few of the students drop off papers, your classroom clearing out as your mind begins to wander again. You pull your phone out from your desk, seeing that you have a message from Joel.

Joel

11:30am

I haven't stopped thinking about you today. Is that bad?

2:00pm

No, and it's been just as bad for me. It was difficult to teach.

You ready your things, collecting the essays and putting them into a folder for you to take home and read through tonight. Your appointment with the gynecologist is at 2:30, so you're feeling incredibly eager to leave.

As you lay on the table with your heels in the stirrups and a paper sheet over your lap, you stare at the white ceiling above you. You wonder what the woman who slept with Sam looked like, and you're curious if he's still seeing her. Of course it doesn't matter, but you can't help the slight insecurity you feel from being cheated on.

You never claimed to be perfect in your relationship, but Sam's lack of compassion towards your career was the biggest competitor in tearing you two apart. You're honestly grateful that he showed his true colors before you were married. And now you have your mind set on a man much gentler—a man that you feel is perfect for you.

There's a knock on the door and a woman in a white smock steps in, introducing herself and asking what the means for your visit are today.

"Well, my ex-fiancé cheated on me and then had unprotected sex with me. So, I'm just checking to be safe."

"Ugh," she scoffs, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'll be better without him."

The doctor chuckles, slowly easing the cold, lubed metal into you. "Exactly. At least you know." She swabs your cervix, making you wince slightly before she withdraws the device. "Okay, everything looks perfectly normal. Have you had any oddly colored discharge?"

"No," you shake your head. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Okay, good. Well, from just a physical examination, I'd try to relax and not worry, but I will send this sample off to the lab."

You sit up, allowing your feet to hang off the raised bed. "And when will those results come back?"

"About a week," she smiles. "Could be less. I know you're probably eager to find out."

"Yes," you sigh, not knowing if you can wait another week to ravage Joel. "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome. Our office will send you an email with your results, so be on the lookout for that."

"Thank you, I will."

You leave the office, feeling relieved that there's nothing seriously wrong, but yet disappointed that the results are going to take a while to get back. Will Joel still want to spend time with you even if you can't have sex? Of course he will, right? Why do you feel so worried that he won't?

At home, you sigh as you slip off your shoes, flopping down onto the couch with your head leaning against the back of it. All you really want to do is take a nice, long bath and maybe have a small nap while you're at it. But you can't right now. You have to read through all of the essays.

You grab your manilla folder and start at the top of the papers, smiling fondly at every single one individually. Some of the kids write about their family pet, their own lives, or their parents. One of them wrote about how they want to go to space one day and land on the moon.

When you come across Sarah's, you read the entire thing with a vast grin, enjoying how much she adores her dad. She talks about how he takes care of her, and how she wishes she had a mom, but she thinks her dad is enough to be two parents. The kind words of affection bring tears to your eyes, correcting a few of her mistakes and settling on a final grade for the paper.

Joel is the perfect man, and you're going crazy at the thought of him. Maybe it's because he met you at such a vulnerable point in your life, but you want to be with him. You're just hoping he wants the same thing. Would he really want to date you? He's already been married and had a daughter that he adores, not to mention the sixteen year age gap between the two of you. Obviously it doesn't bother him to some extent, but would he ever want to settle down again? And especially with someone as young as you?

Your doubts unleash a tsunami over your mind, finishing up the final essay before heading to your bedroom to change into your bathing suit. You'd prefer a casual float in the vast pool over a restricted bath right now. You want the freedom and space, also the exercise that comes with swimming.

Before you leave to go outside, you send Joel a picture of you in your bikini, biting your lip as you lock your phone. You're reminded of how hard he was in your palm, and how thick and long his length felt. Your eyes flutter closed as you imagine taking all of him inside you, that same sudden fear that you won't be good enough creeping into your mind.

Sam has made you more insecure than you've ever been in your life. Never have you questioned your ability to please a man, but now it's all you can think about. Will Joel enjoy the way you feel or the manner in which you grind your hips? You don't know. And it makes your chest feel heavy with apprehension.

When you step out of the pool, it's nearly six o'clock, and you see that you have an unread message notification from Joel on your phone screen.

Joel

4:45pm

You are one hell of a woman, y/n. Thank you for being the best distraction from work.

5:55pm

Oh, you're very welcome. Are you off now?

Your phone buzzes in your hand, seeing Joel's contact name popping up at the top as you press your thumb against the green 'answer' button.

"Hi," you say happily. "I take it you're home?"

Joel chuckles into your ear, making your thighs squeeze together. "Yes, I am. I just called to ask you how your day was. Figured it would be faster than texting."

You beam at the ground as you reply, "It was good. I went to my appointment and she said everything looks fine, but I won't get the official results for a week."

"Good, I'm glad everything is okay on the surface. At least that'll ease your mind a little."

"It did," you sigh. "Can't say I'm not disappointed about having to wait a week, though."

"Aw," Joel coos before lowering his voice, "I promise that I'm just as desperate, y/n. It took everything in me to not fuck you in the pool."

Your brows furrow together as an intense flush of arousal shoots to your groin. "Joel, please don't talk to me like that when there's nothing I can do about it."

"There's definitely something we can do, but only if you want to."

You giggle, stripping off your bathing suit as you walk to your bedroom. "What, phone sex?"

"More like I'll talk you through it. I can't really participate since I'm not alone."

"I want you to cum, too," you whine, hearing Joel chuckle lowly in your ear.

"I will, angel. Let's just focus on you right now." The line is silent for a moment. “I want you to lay on your bed for me,” he says gently, his voice still low.

“You sure you don’t want to just FaceTime me?” you giggle as you climb onto your mattress, not caring if you’re wetting it with your pool-soaked hair and skin.

“If I watch you cum, I don’t think there’d be anything stopping me from driving over there. Also, I don’t have the headphones right now, so this is better,” he laughs lightly. “You in your bed?”

“Yes,” you answer. “Naked, too.”

“Ooo,” he chuckles, “ahead of the game, I like it.”

You can’t help but giggle, letting out a slow, steady breath as you close your eyes, resting the phone against your ear.

“I want you to run your fingertip around your nipples. Don’t do anything to them, just graze them. Make them hard for me.”

You’re already a weeping mess between your legs, wanting to relieve the growing pressure, but you decide to listen to Joel instead. All you want is for him to have control over you, and you desperately want to please him.

You trace your already hardened nipples, feeling goosebumps raise against your skin as the tip of your nail gently scratches you. A small sigh leaves your throat, your finger moving to your other pearled center.

“Feel how nice your skin is, y/n? So fucking soft, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” you breathe, “wish you were here touching it.”

“Soon, pretty girl. I promise.” His voice is light and soothing. “Spread your legs open, baby. Let that finger go down your stomach, but don’t touch that sweet little slit of yours.”

As your hand moves down your abdomen, your senses are heightened, the feeling of your warm palm against your stomach making your walls clench around nothing.

“God, Joel,” you sigh with pleasure, “how are you doing this? I feel like I could cum just from touching my skin.”

He laughs gently, the sound exhilarating you. “I know how to please a woman, y/n.” You can’t help but bite your lip at his confidence. “Keep caressing your body. I want you to feel how beautiful it is.”

Your palm moves up your side, cupping your right breast as you gently pinch the center that is standing to attention.

“God,” you groan slightly, your head digging into the pillow.

“You’re doing so good, y/n. You listen so well. Now, do you own any toys?”

“Yes,” your bottom lip tucks between your teeth. “Do you want me to get one?”

“No,” he replies. “Now I know if you ever wanted me to use one on you.”

“Joel, I’d let you do anything to me.”

He hums with contentment. “You’re so goddamn hot. I want you to feel how wet you are.”

Your fingers slowly ease down to where you’re spread, instantly feeling the silky arousal coating your skin, making your mouth hang open in shock.

“I’m—” your voice drifts off as you swirl around your swollen clit, letting out a small moan.

“You’re what, y/n? Tell me.”

“I’ve never been this wet in my life,” you whisper, your eyes squeezing together as you continue to rub yourself. “Fuck.”

“Good,” he groans quietly. “Want you to keep circling your clit just the way you are. Doesn’t it feel so good, sweet girl?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm, are you already close?”

“Fuck, yes. I’m so close.”

Joel sighs heavily into the phone. “I wanna hear how pretty you sound when you cum, angel.”

Your entrance flexes as your fingers pick up their pace, rubbing yourself so quickly that your wrist begins to cramp. That euphoric feeling begins to wash over you, your back arching off of your bed as you orgasm intensely, crying Joel’s name out into the phone.

“Such a good girl,” he praises. “Fuck, y/n.”

Thighs shaking and chest heaving, you pull your hand up from between your legs, only now being able to open your eyes.

“If you made me feel that good without even being here, I can’t imagine what being with you will be like.”

Joel chuckles. “I’ll take good care of you, y/n.”

You can’t help but to groan lowly. “I know you will.”

He lets out a large sigh, making you laugh slightly. “I’m so painfully hard that I can’t think straight.”

You giggle again. “You could always come over and I could alleviate your pain.”

“No,” he laughs. “I can’t. I feel bad leaving Sarah with the neighbor all the time.”

“Aw, I understand.” A smile splits your face.

“This weekend she’s sleeping at a friend’s house. We could have our own sleepover, if you’d like.”

“I’d love that.” Your cheeks ache from your incessant grinning.

“I was thinking maybe a date on Friday night?”

“A date?” you ask, trying to hide your excitement.

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“More than okay. I wasn’t sure if you were even interested in dating me.”

Joel guffaws. “Are you crazy? Of course I am. You’re incredible, y/n. Even before you lured me in with steak and cupcakes, I liked you.”

You chuckle, feeling your face burning. “Yeah, I liked you too.”

“So you really did like me when you first met me, and that wasn’t just your horny talk?”

“Yes!” you cackle. “I was engaged to Sam, but I liked you more than him at the time. Now it’s like I hate him, and I’m crazy about you.”

“Crazy about me, huh?” he teases. “I can handle crazy.”

“Well, good. My life is very crazy right now.”

“Ex-fiancés and broken air conditioners aren’t going to push me away,” Joel chuckles. “Maybe only blood-sacrifice-crazy would. But even then, I don’t know. I like you too much already to be bothered by that.”

You clutch your stomach as both of you break out into a fit of laughter. “I’ll try to keep those to a minimum.”

He sniffles, his laughter fading a bit. “I unfortunately have to go. I have to make dinner, but this was—fun.”

“Mmm, I agree; very, very fun.”

“Have a good rest of your night, y/n.”

“You too, Joel.”

The call ends and you still have an idiotic smile plastered onto your flushed scarlet face. Your senses are still heightened, the swollen clit between your legs throbbing and begging for more relief. Everything in you wants to run to Joel’s house and ride him like a mad woman, but you can’t for many, many reasons.

You feel guilty that he’s been seeing you so often and leaving Sarah with the neighbor. And you feel even worse knowing that he feels bad about it. He doesn’t realize what a good fucking dad he is, and that is just another trait of his that drives you crazy. A sweet, thoughtful, loving father who would die for his daughter is a dream, and you know Sarah is aware of how lucky she is.

***

The rest of the week drags by, every day seeming longer and more tedious than the last as you wait for it to finally be Friday. Class seems to run longer than usual, your lunch break feels like hours, and the walk to your car from the school seems like it’s taking centuries.

You pull your vibrating phone from your skirt pocket as you tread against the hot asphalt that is baking you from beneath, while the sun works to cook you from above. Joel’s name makes you smile and cock your head a bit in surprise. Why is he calling you as you’re leaving school? He never has before.

“Hello?” you answer, an obvious grin in your voice.

“Hey, you. I’m still working, but I snuck away to see how your day went. I was figuring you were probably leaving right about now.”

Your heart soars, letting out a timid giggle. “Yes, actually. I’m getting into my car right now.”

“Ooo, giving me a play-by-play. Kinda reminds me of our phone call the other night,” Joel teases, humor twisted into the husky rasp.

“Joel,” you scold with a laugh as your thighs squeeze together, “I’m not even home and you’re already starting.”

He chuckles. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll behave. Also, is it okay if I pick you up at seven for our date?”

“I completely forgot about that!” you say sarcastically. “Sorry, can’t make it.”

Joel laughs loudly into the phone, your cheeks burning. “Ah, man. That really sucks. I had this big thing all planned out,” he jests as he keeps up the joke. “Should I call and cancel the jet ride to Paris?” he asks facetiously.

You cackle. “God, can you imagine taking a jet to Paris?”

“Sorry, I don’t have that kind of money.”

“Aw, Joel, I don’t care about money. I just want to spend time with you,” you grin like an idiot as you sit in your car. “Seven is perfect for walking, talking, or Paris.”

He laughs lightly. “You’re amazing, y/n, you know that?”

“I think you’re gonna have to show me how amazing you think I am.”

“I will, I promise,” Joel audibly smiles as he speaks. “Thank you for being so understanding about me not wanting to keep leaving Sarah. It really means a lot to me.”

“Not only do I work with kids for a living, but I’m not going to come between what you two have. It’s so special and unfortunately, kinda rare. Sarah is such a sweet girl and she loves you to death. I don’t want to take you away from her. I’m good with seeing you whenever you want.”

“Perfect words from an even more perfect mouth. Thank you, y/n.” Joel lets out a small, content sigh. “I’ll see you later, petal.”

Petal? You could melt into the leather seat beneath you from the new pet name that Joel has slipped into your ear.

“Bye,” you giggle, hanging up the phone.

The entire drive home, your mind is reeling over the fact that you’re going on a date with a hot dad who calls you the sweetest of names. You miss his soft, skilled lips and the feel of his firm, lightly haired chest against yours. You haven’t seen him since you made him dinner, and that’s genuinely okay with you.

Of course you’d like to see him more often, but this is ridiculously new, and he has a daughter that he’s raising by himself. He’s a wonderful man, and the fact that he actually wants to raise his daughter is another rarity, and nothing but a bright neon green flag to you.

You get home and immediately jump into the shower, shaving your legs and underarms just to feel more comfortable. You don’t bother shaving anywhere else, knowing that nothing penetrative can happen between the two of you yet.

You’ve been obsessively checking your email, always coming up with nothing from the gynecologist. The beat of your heart quickens every time you open the app, refreshing the page several times to make sure you haven’t just missed it.

It’s ludicrous how much you crave this man. Even with your first time with Sam you weren’t as desperate for his body as you are for Joel’s. You know that they’re two vastly different men, but Joel just ignites this fire within you that nobody has ever struck a match to. He’s able to break you down with just his words, making you orgasm quicker than you ever have with anybody, or even alone.

As you step out of the steamy shower, you toss your hair up into a towel, wringing it slightly before wrapping it up into the cotton fabric. You prep your skin for makeup, wanting to go all-out for Joel, but also being worried about going overboard.

Sam would always comment when you’d wear “a lot” of makeup, and you never realized that your want to wear it majorly dwindled. The more you sit and ponder the memories that swirl around in your mind, it dawns on you that Sam has negatively affected you more than you originally thought.

You had already reached your limit with him by the time he broke the news that he cheated on you, but there was more that he did or said during your one year engagement when he changed that you unknowingly brushed off. Your already minuscule self-confidence has been thrown, leaving you a weakened, dehydrated corpse in the land of self-hate.

The thoughts begin to affect your body, a physical reaction blossoming within you that makes your heart begin to race. All you want to do is call Joel for help, but what if you get this feeling once he leaves you, too? What then?

Ways to calm yourself down displays itself in your mind as a short, yet still overwhelming list. You go through the deep breathing, focusing on anything other than your reflection as you attempt to calm the sudden, intense panic.

Your feet carry you as calmly as they can muster to the fridge, grabbing out the remains of your nearly emptied wine bottle. The cork lets out a low pop when you pull it, pressing the cold emerald-tinted glass to your lips, downing the remains of what lies within.

A satisfied sigh leaves your throat, your eyes closing as your pulse begins to dwindle. You’re not an alcoholic by any means, but it has almost always helped you relax when you become panicky. When you figured that out (illegally) at 18, you used it as your own personal therapy session, since actual therapy is way more expensive.

Even just the feeling of the crisp, icy alcohol sliding down your throat is enough to alleviate the anxiety, only because you know that the relief will come soon enough.

There’s a knock on your door after you’ve finished getting ready, fastening the right buckle on your heel before standing off from your bed. The heels clunk quietly on the carpet, suddenly sounding like a freshly shoed horse once you reach the wooden floor of the living room.

You straighten out your silky dress, letting out a steady breath before pulling the door open. The excited, giddy expression on your face falls when you see Sam standing in your doorway.

“Wha—” you hesitate, perplexed, “what are you doing here?”

There’s a solemn sulkiness in his blue eyes, and his eyes are bloodshot to hell.

“Y/n,” he begins, “you look amazing.” His eyes scoop up your body before settling onto your breasts. “Can we talk?”

Your arms cross over your chest, shaking your head at him. “No, Sam. I don’t have anything to say to you. Please leave.”

“Just hear me out!” he yells. “I want you back. I’m so sorry for what I did. I fucked up.”

“No,” you continue shaking your head, reaching for your phone in your purse. “Leave.”

Sam steps inside, his stature looming over you; the tall physique you once loved now terrifying you to your core. “Talk to me.”

“No!” you shout. “You reek of scotch,” you nearly retch. “Get out of my house!”

“It’s my house too, you bitch!”

A numb fear makes its way around your entire body, the flight response in you kicking in, forcing you to turn and run away, locking yourself in your bedroom. Sam bangs on the door, yanking on the knob with such force, you’re terrified he’ll pull it off in one go.

Your trembling fingers press on Joel’s contact, unsure of what a drunk Sam is going to do. You’ve never seen him this plastered, and you’re absolutely petrified.

“Hello?” Joel answers happily.

“Joel,” you say quickly, “Sam is here and really drunk. Please come help me. I’m trapped in my room and he’s banging on the door. I-I’ve never seen him like this, please.”

The line is quiet, hearing some fumbling coming from the phone before the distinct sound of a car door closing. “Are you safe?” he asks flatly.

“Yes, for now. I don’t think he’d hurt me, he’s just acting really erratic.”

“The way he’s acting is uncalled for. I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’m not stopping for any fucking lights or signs.”

The door behind your back shakes as Sam continues knocking against it aggressively, yelling profanities and slurs that you can’t quite make out through the thick wood.

“God, Joel, please be careful,” you say as calmly as you can manage. “You’ll be a lot more help if you get here alive.”

“I’ll be fine,” Joel responds without emotion again.

Your brows furrow, worry swallowing you whole. “Are you mad?”

“Not with you, sweet girl. Be there in one minute. Stay on the phone with me.”

Even though he can’t see you, you nod your head anyway, practicing your calming breaths as you hear tires screeching onto pavement outside. There’s no way that’s Joel, right?

“I’m here. Stay in the room.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Sam’s violent screaming suddenly stops, everything going completely silent out in the living room. Your apprehension and curiosity get the better of you, your hand gently turning the knob to peak out of your bedroom.

Your eyes blow wide as you see Joel holding a long, black shotgun, pointing it directly at Sam.

“You have about ten seconds to get out of here before I blow a hole in your goddamn chest,” Joel says firmly as he stares Sam down.

He wobbles slightly from the alcohol, his hands up as he keeps his torso faced towards Joel. “Oh, so this is who she’s all dressed up for, huh? How ya doin’, Joel? Enjoying fucking my fiancée?”

Joel cocks the shotgun, resting his finger on the trigger. “Another word, and you’re a dead man.”

You step out of the bedroom more, watching the scene unfold as Sam makes his way to the open front door. “Yeah, yeah. I’m going, tough guy.”

Your eyes follow him, leaving your room as you watch him completely step out of the house past the stoop. He backs all the way up to his car, seeing Joel’s idling black truck lazily parked halfway onto the grass.

Sam peels away, both you and Joel letting out an audible sigh as he disappears. You peer at him through your lashes, feeling even more turned on by him now than before. He de-cocks the shotgun, resting it beside the front door as he closes it gently, turning the lock.

Joel strides towards you, scooping your face up into his hands as he takes your lips firmly against his. “You okay?”

You’re too Joel-drunk to respond, lacing your fingers into his unruly dark hair that’s soft to the touch. Your mouth reattaches to his, his hands on the small of your back, pulling you in closer.

He leans away, gazing down at you. “Talk to me, y/n, are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m fine. I can’t believe you threatened to shoot him,” you let out a small giggle. “Why is that so fucking hot?”

Joel chuckles, kissing your forehead as he holds you at arm’s length. “Let me get a proper look at you now.” He holds your hand above your head, allowing you to slowly turn your body around, feeling like a ballerina in a musical toy box. “Wow,” he breathes out sharply, “you’re so beautiful, y/n. And I love that you’re still wearing the necklace I got you.”

Your cheeks go hot at his compliment, your eyes flicking to the weapon that leans against the living room wall. “That’s not staying here, right?”

He turns to follow your line of sight, quickly shaking his head as he meets your gaze again. “No. I’m sorry if it scares you, it was meant to scare Sam.”

Giggling, you wrap your arms around his midsection. “I think it worked.”

Joel brushes your hair behind your ear, grazing your cheek with the side of his finger. “I’m glad you’re all right, y/n. I was so fucking worried, that I just did what I knew would get him to leave without us having to get into a physical altercation.”

“Mmm,” you hum, “I should hire you to be my big, sexy bodyguard.”

He chuckles, placing a gentle kiss on your lips before pulling away to say, “I’ll do it for free, honey.”

You and Joel leave the house, his left hand carrying the gun as his right is intertwined with yours. He tosses the weapon into the backseat of his truck, opening the passenger door for you. Joel lets out a little grunt as he gets into the driver’s side, flashing you a quick smile before leveling the truck out onto the road.

“So, where are we headed? I think it’ll be hard to top all of that excitement,” you tease, giggling.

“Maybe I got a jet after all,” he snickers. “I want it to be a surprise.”

You nod, picking at your fingers in your lap. “You know, it’s crazy that something so scary just happened, but I feel perfectly safe and happy now. Thank you so much, Joel.”

He reaches over and places his palm on your thigh, giving it a gentle grip before grinning shyly at you. “I’m sorry it happened, but I’m happy that you called me.”

Your flesh sears beneath his hand, your thighs desperately wanting to squeeze together to alleviate the growing ache that you have for Joel between them. He’s intimidated your ex, protected you, and made you feel like a shining star of beauty all within the last fifteen minutes. You’re beginning to believe that you’ll never find someone more perfect.

Everything was such a blur at home, that you weren’t able to appreciate the way Joel is dressed. He’s wearing a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbows. For his bottoms, he has fitted black slacks that accentuate every perfect outline of his legs, and the thickness between them. Your eyes travel up his body to his face, licking your lips as you admire his still tousled hair that has been tamed only a bit.

Joel catches you staring, a grin forming on his perfect lips. “What?” he asks sheepishly.

“You just are so fucking handsome. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but my god, Joel.”

He laughs loudly, a redness having formed in his cheeks as he squeezes your thigh gently. “Thank you, y/n.”

Joel keeps his hand on your leg until he pulls in to a parking spot that has no buildings surrounding it.

Your head whips around, giving him a curious look. “And now you kill me?” you joke.

He laughs, shaking his head. “It’s just a bit of a walk. The parking across the street from the restaurant is always completely packed, so I wanted to find a nearby parking lot. You mind walking?”

You shake your head. “Of course not.”

Joel walks around the front of the truck, opening your door as he helps you out with his rough, calloused hand. You step down, wobbling a bit from your heels and the step from the door. He chuckles lightly as you begin your walk, the evening breeze caressing your skin delicately.

“Now, I’ve never been here before, but I’ve heard good things about it. It’s supposed to be nice,” he begins, his palm turning clammy in yours, “so, if you don’t like it, don’t blame me,” Joel lets out a nervous laugh.

“Joel,” you tell him gently, “you know that I’m not difficult to please, right? I’m just happy to be out with you. I told you that.”

He shakes his head. “You make me so nervous, and I don’t know why.” He scoffs lightly, “Well, I know why, but it’s frustrating for me. I just want to be calm.”

You stop walking, your feet halting on the sidewalk as you wait for Joel to turn to you. Your hands slide up his shirt, finding their way into the hair at the base of his head. You run your nose gently along his, giving him a soft, lingering kiss.

“You are the most perfect man,” you beam. “You don’t have to be nervous around me. So far, you’ve made me happier in the last week of knowing you than Sam made me in the last year. I promise you that I am crazy about you.” You pull away to gaze into those soft brown eyes that are innocent yet alluring at the same time. “I’ve been feeling a little self conscious myself, and truthfully I was overthinking everything while getting ready tonight. I wanted to wear just the right amount of makeup to please you, and the perfect dress, and I just wanted to be perfect.” You shrug, “I panicked.”

“Oh, honey,” his brows furrow with sympathy, planting a feathery kiss to the middle of your forehead. “You’re already so perfect to me.”

You giggle as your eyes water, trying to hide your sudden emotion. “You can’t be real.”

Joel tilts your head back up to meet your gaze, running his thumb along your cheek. “I’ve thought that about you since I first saw you at the park. What the hell is a woman like you doing with me?”

“Being happy for once.”

The two of you share a sensual, neat kiss on the sidewalk before reluctantly parting to walk towards the restaurant. The outside has a blue and white striped awning that is twinkling with pale yellow lights hanging from the bottom. Vast windows cover the outside, allowing you a clear look into the intimate, darkened setting of the place.

Joel pulls open the door, allowing you to step in first before he follows behind you. He tells the hostess the name for two, and she nods in response.

“Miller for two, please follow me,” she beams as she leaves the stand.

You both trail behind her, Joel’s hand clasped with yours as you’re lead to your table. Your seats are not at all what you’d expect. The entire wall against the windows is covered with a long, u-shaped couch with thick, teal cushions. The tables that aid the couch are a circular dark oak that compliments the atmosphere perfectly.

She leads you to your little corner, Joel gesturing you forward to choose where you want to sit. You land on the apex where the two corners meet, your body being enveloped by the plush cushion behind you. Joel sits beside you where the couch has a wooden armrest to his left that matches the table.

“This is the most comfortable I’ve ever been at a restaurant,” your voice is giddy and high-pitched. “I love it!”

He beams at you, placing his hand on your leg as he leans in to give you a chaste kiss. “I had to reserve these seats. They drew me in when I looked online.”

“They’re perfect,” you laugh lightly.

A server comes over and takes your drink order, Joel ordering a bottle of wine and a water, looking to you for approval before ordering a water for you, as well.

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. Miller?” you jest.

“Just thought the alcohol might make us both a little less insecure,” he chuckles. “And I noticed at your house that you like white wine, so I just picked a random one. I hope you’ll like it.”

“It’s wine,” you laugh, “I’ll like it.”

You open the menu and explore for food options, your finger landing on a steak dish to show off to Joel.

“You already know me so well,” he giggles lightly. “Hmm, let me see about you, let me guess.” You watch as his finger runs across the menu, being briefly mesmerized before he lands on the exact dish you had your eye on.

“Am I really that predictable already? I need to be more mysterious.”

Joel laughs with you, his hand pushing through his hair briefly before connecting his gaze to yours. “I think both of us are too emotionally vulnerable to be mysterious, sweetheart.”

You let out a loud cackle, instantly covering your mouth in embarrassment as you feel your face brighten. “My god, I’m sorry. That was obnoxious.”

His head rolls back as he continues to chuckle, his hand on your thigh once again as he shakes his head. “Absolutely nothing obnoxious about you. Your laugh is fucking adorable.”

As you beam at him with adoration, the server returns with your drinks, offering to pour the wine to which Joel agrees. The man takes your orders, Joel throwing in a last minute appetizer that makes you roll your eyes. The prices here are insane, and you don’t want to be an overly-expensive date. Of course you love being treated like royalty, but you can’t help how guilty it makes you feel.

“Thank you, but you didn’t need to get an appetizer,” you say shyly. “I feel bad.”

He shrugs. “Why? Do you know how often I go on nice dates?”

“No.”

“Never,” he beams. “And I want it to be special because my date is very special to me.”

“Yeah?” your body leans in to his. “My date is very special to me, too.”

Joel’s eyes lower as he gives you a hooded, longing stare, that desire you saw in the pool making itself evident in his gaze.

You feel frozen in place, the heat between the two of you nearly tangible. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he asks lowly, his face inching closer to yours. “Can’t I tease you in public?”

A small, hushed gasp catches in your throat, feeling Joel’s hand creep up your leg beneath the silky fabric of your dress.

“Joel,” you let out quietly, your eyes looking everywhere but at him.

“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers, backing away slightly to take a large gulp of his wine.

You shake your head.

“Tell me what you want.” His fingers are nearing your dampened panties, his voice becoming more raspy by the second. “You want me to keep going, y/n?”

“Yes,” you say, barely audible.

The table covers most of your legs, any onlooker only assuming that Joel has his hand on one of them. Nobody would ever think that two people would be so demented as to do something like this in a nice establishment, right?

He brings his wine glass to your lips, giving you as much as you can take before pulling it away, your breath becoming unsteady after you swallow. You can feel his fingertips beginning to pull the fabric aside and off of your weeping core, your eyes briefly fluttering closed.

Joel’s eyes are burning into the side of your head as you worriedly watch for anybody to acknowledge your existence. The slow pace in which he works is only torturing you further, making you lick your lips in anticipation.

His first finger slips easily past your folds, a slight groan coming from his throat. “Jesus christ, angel. Does it turn you on knowing we could be caught at any second?”

Your brows furrow together as you bite your lip, quickly nodding your head. “Yes.”

He tsks, shaking his head as he teases your entrance, not inserting himself inside. “Should I really be calling you angel? Name’s too innocent for you.”

“Joel,” you quietly whine, trying to move your hips to feel his finger inside of you, but he only pulls away.

“Hmm?” he hums. “Somebody watching?”

“No,” you breathe out. “Just want to feel you, please.”

Joel withdraws completely, adjusting your panties before resting his hand innocently back onto your thigh. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. Only wanted to tease you.”

The server returns shortly after with the appetizer, your brain being completely scattered and out of order from the intense arousal you feel. Joel has made you feel embarrassingly deprived and desperate in only a week of knowing him. How the hell are you ever going to survive this man?

He holds up one of the little appetizers for you to try and you lean in, keeping your eyes on his as you take a bite of the food. Your stomach moans in delight, but your libido is kicking and screaming in frustration.

“Good?” he arches a brow as he smirks.

“Very,” you nod, “thank you.” You down a bit of your wine, deciding that two can play at the game that he’s started.

Your hand slides around his thigh tenderly, admiring the firmness and the obvious strength beneath the slacks. A noticeable bulge is at the apex of his pants, making you smile to yourself as you place your palm against it. Joel’s body jerks forward slightly, his fist covering his mouth as he tries to maintain composure.

“Don’t worry,” you whisper, “I’m only teasing.”

You grip him in his slacks, stroking him up and down through the fabric, even going as far as to swirl your thumb around his tip.

“Y/n,” he lets out a quiet, shuddery moan. “I’ll make a much bigger mess than you would. And you drive me so fucking crazy that it’s very possible it will happen.”

“What will happen?” you play dumb, continuing to stroke him. “Tell me, Joel.”

His face has reddened and his breathing has hitched. “You’ll make me cum right here, right now.”

Your walls clench around nothing. “Maybe I want you to.”

“I’m already close, y/n. You get me so worked up.”

“Yeah?” Your hand moves a little quicker, briefly checking your surroundings before continuing to watch him hide his pleasure. “You do the same to me, but I keep getting denied.”

Joel’s lips part as he sucks in a sharp breath, his fists clenched against the table top. “You’re not an angel, baby. You’re a goddamn succubus.”

As his body shudders you pull away, ceasing all contact as you take a hearty toss back of your wine, letting out a content sigh. “Well, this succubus is declaring war.”

His brows are pinched together, his face turned down towards the table as he grunts quietly beneath his breath. “You are unbelievable in all the best and worst ways,” he chuckles lightly, flashing those darkened eyes at you. “War it is, honey.”

After a divine, sexually-charged meal, Joel pays, adjusting himself on the couch as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

“Did you like everything?” he asks sweetly, placing a kiss on your temple.

“It was delicious,” you beam. “Thank you.”

He grins back. “Thank you for being my date.”

You finish your second glass of wine, watching as the server takes the black book with Joel’s card in it. “And thank you for being mine,” you giggle. “So, where to now?”

“Well,” he begins, “would you still like to have that sleepover we talked about?”

“Yes,” you answer quickly, Joel giggling at your hastiness.

“Your house or mine?”

You hum, thinking. “Well, when will Sarah be back?”

“I’m picking her up Sunday. She’s staying the entire weekend.”

“And you’re not working tomorrow?”

Joel shakes his head. “Not this week.”

“It’s wherever you want. I have a pool, but I’m also a little terrified to sleep there right now because of Sam.”

The hazy, lust-drunk look in his eyes fades slightly, his head bobbing up and down. “Then mine?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Before Joel pulls out of the parking lot, you leap over the center console, smushing your lips against his. He tastes of white wine and steak, making you moan into his mouth.

“I want you so fucking bad,” you groan, swirling your tongue with his. “I can’t stand to wait anymore.”

Joel moans quietly, his hands all over your back as yours stay rested on either side of his face. “I want you, too. We can always just use a condom, y/n. I don’t care.”

“No,” you shake your head. “I want to feel you.” You slide your hand to the middle of his pants. “I want to feel all of you.”

He groans, reattaching your lips hastily before pulling away to press his forehead to yours. “Then we’ll wait,” he breathes.

You let out an exasperated groan as you settle back into your seat, buckling yourself in as Joel lets out a playful laugh.

“You can’t be bratty at the decision you made, y/n,” he giggles. “That’s not how that works.”

“Yes I can!” you laugh, playfully shoving him. “You just make me feel so fucking—”

“Depraved?”

“Yes! Exactly.”

“Yep. Exactly where I’m at with you too, honey.”

You squirm a bit as Joel begins to drive back to his house. “I really liked when you called me petal,” you say lowly. “I’ve never been called that before.”

“Really?” he beams proudly. “It’s nice to know that I’m the first to call you that. I’ve never said that to anyone before, it just kinda came to me.”

“It was so hot,” you laugh. “I love all the pet names, but that one’s my favorite.”

“I’m glad you told me,” he places his hand at his familiar spot against your thigh, “I can use that to my advantage.”

Back at Joel’s, he unlocks the front door and you are guided in by his hand, stepping in awkwardly as you turn to watch him come in after you. He walks to the kitchen table and places the keys down, beginning to slide off his shoes.

You bend down to unbuckle your heel, but Joel’s voice stops you, making you stand to watch him stride across the house to you.

“Let me,” he says gently.

The man gets onto his one knee, raising your dress above your own knee as he places your foot onto his thigh. He gives you a soft smirk before focusing onto your heel, gently sliding it off before doing the same with the other.

You know that he can clearly see up your dress this way, but he doesn’t even glance between your legs, and you’re not sure if you admire how much of a gentleman he is, or if you’re frustrated that he didn’t steal a perverted look at you.

He stands, silently taking your hand as he shows you where the bathroom is, then his bedroom. The room smells completely like him, and you want to be enveloped in this scent forever. He has a large bed off to the right that is paired with two matching night tables on either side.

You suddenly have a sinking, icky feeling inside thinking about how one side of the bed used to be his wife’s. You know that it’s been a long time and that he’s allowed to move on, but you can’t shake the guilt that’s churning into panic in your chest.

Your hand strokes the necklace that rests on your chest, clutching it tightly as you’re reminded of your mother’s passing, and how it hasn’t gotten any easier. How could it have possibly gotten easier for Joel?

He has his back turned to you, unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his shoulders. The clothing flies across the room, swishing into a laundry basket that has a few other things in it.

Joel finally looks to you, his grinning face falling to worry in an instant. “Y/n? What is it? What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, the panic nearly taking over your ability to speak. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t think I can sleep here.”

“Okay. Of course, baby. Let me take you home,” he says softly, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead before turning away to retrieve another shirt from his closet.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize again. “It’s just—” your eyes linger on the bed, nearly feeling like you can see another woman gazing back at you.

Joel pulls on a t-shirt, placing his hands on either side of your face to gain your attention. “Talk to me. What’s bothering you?”

“I can’t sleep where your wife slept, Joel. I feel so guilty.”

His eyes soften, a small grin creeping onto his face. “Y/n, you’re the most considerate, incredible woman.” He kisses your forehead again. “My wife never slept in that bed.”

You blink up at him. “She didn’t?”

“No.”

“But why?”

Joel smiles. “She told me she wanted me to move on after her, and she didn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life. It took a few years, but I finally decided to start dating again. Even though nothing ever went anywhere, I still had the thought that if I ever slept with another woman again, I didn’t want it to be in the bed I shared with my wife.” He gestures behind him to the vast bed. “So, if you’d still like to stay, you would be the first woman to ever be in that bed.”

You want to cry. You want to burst into tears and apologize for being such an idiot, but also thank him for being the most understanding man on the planet. Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him neatly with your fingers in his hair.

“How are you so perfect, Joel? Were you made in a lab?”

He cocks his head back slightly as he laughs, your eyes on his throat. “Yes. There’s some very perfect Joel-like rats out there that they tested on first before they made me.”

You giggle, leaning up to kiss him again. “You’re such a goofball.”

“Yeah, and you love it.” He pulls you in with his hands drifting down your back. “Do you still want to stay the night with me?”

You nod, raising your arms above your head. “I can’t sleep in a dress.”

Joel chuckles, bunching your dress up on the sides with his hands before he pulls it off, tossing it across the room once you’re free of it. His eyes stay fixed on yours, even though your breasts are exposed to him. He raises his arms, making you giggle as you slowly pull his shirt up, running your hands up his sides to slide it off.

His hands cup your breasts, his lips gingerly pressing to yours as he moves his hands in slow, kneading circles. The sensation isn’t as much arousing as it is therapeutic, like a massage. You let out a satisfied hum as your head rolls back, Joel purposefully massaging your chest now.

“Will you lay down for me?” he asks quietly.

You open your eyes and nod, climbing onto the bed to lay on your back until Joel guides you to your stomach. You hear his slacks being kicked off before you feel his weight pressing into the bed, his knees straddling your thighs as he leans down and places a gentle kiss at the top of your spine.

“Every inch of you is perfect, y/n,” he says between kisses, making goosebumps rise up to your skin. “You’re so soft.” He leans away, his fingers slowly beginning to knead at your back. “How does that feel?”

“So good,” you groan, enjoying the unexpected massage. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, petal,” he says quietly, making your thighs press together beneath him. “Just want you to feel good.”

“You always make me feel good.”

He chuckles quietly, his hands sliding down your spine to the very bottom, right above your panty line. You coo at the relief, that section of your back being the part that gives an occasional soreness from sitting at work for too long.

Joel’s thumbs press into you, your hands on either side of your head as you enjoy his sensual touch. You can’t help the arousal you feel from it. It’s Joel, for fuck’s sake.

He leans down moving his hand up your back to rub your scalp gently. “Do you want me to make you cum, petal?”

A small moan makes its debut from your lips, your head immediately nodding. “Yes, please.”

Joel kisses the shell of your ear as his hand moves beneath you, your hips immediately lifting up to grant him access. He doesn’t play games like earlier at the restaurant. This time, he slides into the top of your panties and begins to rub your swollen clit in circles.

Your hands squeeze at the bed, gripping it tightly as you let out a choked groan. “Please don’t tease me this time, Joel. I can’t handle it again.”

“I won’t, sweet girl. The war was over the second I felt how wet you are. You need me, baby, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you moan, his fingers rubbing you skillfully. “So badly.”

“I love to hear you so desperate for me. Makes me feel like a king.”

His erection is pressing hard into your back through his briefs, and all you want is to feel him stretch you.

“Joel,” you whimper, your hips pushing against his fingers, “I want you inside of me.”

“Shh,” he shushes gently. “Enjoy my fingers for now. A few more days and I’m all yours.”

This is reminiscent of when the two of you had phone sex the other day, but this time is way better. Joel is the one touching you, and he’s actually here, his weight on top of you and his breath against your ear.

You groan, squirming beneath him as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to your peak. His fingers speed up, keeping his tight, neat circles against you.

His tongue swipes up your earlobe, nibbling on it gently as he faintly grunts into it. “Yes, y/n. Can tell you’re close by the way you’re wiggling. Let go for me, petal.”

The pet name is the final thing that causes the band in your abdomen to snap, your cries barreling out of you as your walls flutter desperately around absolutely nothing. His fingers keep up their pace until the sensation becomes too much, making you jerk your hips aside. Joel pulls his hand away, your back heaving against him from the intensity of your climax.

“Mmm, so good for me, angel. You listen so fucking well,” Joel praises into your ear, giving the side of your head a gentle kiss. “You feel relaxed enough for bed now?”

You nod lazily into the pillow, your eyes feeling heavy as you slowly turn onto your side, watching Joel lay beside you.

“What about you?” your voice rasps, reaching for his obviously hardened cock.

Joel gently stops you, bringing your knuckles up to his mouth to place his lips against them softly. “This wasn’t about me, baby.” He kisses your knuckles again. “Get some sleep. We have all day tomorrow to do whatever you want.”

You beam at him, your lids sliding closed. “What if I want tomorrow to be about you?”

He chuckles, leaning in and kissing you softly, pulling your body into his. “Good night, y/n.”

“Good night, Joel.”

****

#pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fic #smut #yn fanfic #pedro pascal #joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller fic #tlou fic #tlou smut

[hybbart]

So, you have given me jimmy brainrot for the jimmy kidnaps everyone au, and now u give you this.

I think the only possible way to a "good" ending would be that when everyone is freed near the end, if jimmy has a full breakdown and confesses his feelings of abandonment going at least as far back as Evo smp and how it's gotten so much worse during and around empires 2. Then everyone realizing that despite jimmy being so dearly loved by so many, they never showed him that love openly, to the point his perception grew twisted and he was so desperate to be shown love in return for the love he felt for his friends/family (some of whom may not even remember their past lives like listener!jimmy could (and maybe even more tragically for those who DID remember, but didnt treat him well regardless)) that he felt trapping them in a scenario of required "mutual" affection was his only opition. So seeing how their actions, or inactions, contributed to this horrible situation, they all band together and have a cathartic moment of healing, knowing that everyone has been hurt and none of their friendships will ever be the same, but wanting to put in the work to reach a healthier place.

I have so many thoughts, and no writing ability, but I wanted to share this lol

That is a directoon I considered. I think it would depend on how traumatizing the experience would be, though, cause it can get into victim blamey territory if you aren't careful with the writing, ensure it isn't done out of guilt.

I think Tango, Scar, and Grian would be the most likely to outright forgive him in a vacuum. Grian is his brother and more powerful so ultimately even if Jimmy won over him briefly I think he would be confident in his abilities to stop Jimmy and also some obligation as the only other eldritch being. And Scar's just Like That.

Tango... he'd be quick to forgive and I think he would say as much, but I also think that Tango would be the most traumatized by it all because of his personality. And the fact that he's known Jimmy for the least amount of time and that he has the most positive experience with Jimmy (Jimmy's never been anything but soft and supportive towards Tango since they became friends and as far as Tango might be concerned his 'bad side' is his general incompetence and impulsiveness which he's fine with) so it would be the most out of nowhere for Tango even though he would probably be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I imagine Tango would say he forgives him but never get over it, be overly cautious around him. Which of course isn't very conductive to healing. I think Lizzie would be somewhat similar, too.

Fwhip would probably be the least likely to compromise I think, cause their relationship is already so strained despite wanting to care about each other. Joel isn't far behind probably, but Joel is also a really big insecure softy who worries about people a lot when they aren't looking, and can turn on a dime from trying to Kill Jimmy to giving him aid. Martyn would be the middle ground and most level headed about the whole thing I think. Scott would be the biggest wild card and most based on how things actually play out.

I'm generally bad at imagining how soured relationships can be turned around so this is very much out of my element, though.

#ask

[oodlyenough]

re: hbo tlou, do you think that the softening up of Joel is going to give eventual show Abby a harder time when it comes to audience perception? it was already bad enough with the game version for a bunch of very loud players, and show Joel is so much nicer and more sympathetic of a person than game Joel, lol.

Yeah, I've wondered about this too. I think it's always going to be a hard sell, so it will be a hard sell even if they adjust Abby's plotline somehow to match. I'm not sure the reaction can be WORSE, partly because the reaction to the game was sooooo ludicrously OTT... I don't really know how it could be topped lol. Especially w the game leaks and the trans Abby nonsense.

This got long and there's misc spoilers for both games so I'm using a cut:

I think there's also the possibility gamers are especially bad about this kind of thing, whereas general tv audiences are maybe more used to this kind of "twist" (or at least more likely to uh turn off the tv and not spend the next three years trawling the internet to hurl slurs at anyone who liked it).

Ignoring the audience for a moment and speaking just from a narrative POV, I do think they're putting s2 in a harder position. In the game, there's that moment where Dina and Ellie are hypothesizing and Ellie is like "man who knows Joel has countless enemies" lmao. In the show so far that wouldn't really be true unless we're relying *really* heavily on his entirely off screen and scantly touched on past.

I love the second game but I think its story would need much more rejigging to suit television than it did as a game -- lots of what I thought made it work ARE it being a game. So maybe however they adapt the story will account for the changes they've already made. I wouldn't be surprised to see an Abby cameo in the s1 finale, for example.... I'll be more surprised if we *don't*.

My biggest worry by far about s1 is that it might lean into or encourage the "well Joel knew a cure was impossible and did the ONLY MORAL THING" bullshit that totally guts the end of any meaning... and of course if tehy do THAT then suddenly the Abby storyline is an even huger leap because then uwu armchair scientist Joel was doing an inarguably moral thing with no net loss to humanity. People have already used ep 1 + ep 2's cold opens to justify this, so the show will have to do some work if it wants the cure to be plausibly on the table. Which imo it needs to be.

#anon #you've got questions we've got answers #i dont really know how to tag this lol #the last of us 2 #tlou spoilers #tlou2 spoilers

[perotovar]

Hi!!!! No worries if you don’t want to tell me or respond lol. But I really like the colour grading you did on that most recent Joel Miller gif set. I do photography and I’ve been struggling for ages to find a way to bring out the warm sort of brown tones without making things feel too muddy or red. Just curious about what HSL adjustments you made / what colour grading helped you get that look?

ohhhh my god thank you so much??? this might be a convoluted answer/unnecessary rant so i apologize in advance lol but i tend to keep the colorings/psds i use for gifs saved in a folder so every gif i make in a set is consistent with color/lighting/shading/whatever. i get anxious if there's even a little bit of difference per gif lol

a lot of what turned out in those gifs has to do with the lighting/coloring that's already in the show/that specific episode/scene. i've got the rest of the episodes' gifsets made and finished but i can try and kind of show what i'm talking about. they all look different color-wise, at least in my opinion, because of the differences in each episode's lighting. if that makes sense.

the goal with any gif i make, regardless of show/movie, is to make them either

1) better than what was there before (for example, if the movie is INCREDIBLY blue/yellow then i try and color correct that blue or yellow to be more neutral)(i'm looking at you triple frontier and your dark, blue ass scenes dfjkdflh)

and

2) not whitewash pedro. this is incredibly important (at least in my opinion) because i've noticed a lot of gifmakers (or least they used to) went for a really pastel/pale look and it whitewashed poc so dramatically and it was ~problematic~ to say the least. (i used to make gifs for a band that consisted of all mexican band members and i got hate a few times/people policing how i should color my gifs so the band wouldn't get whitewashed, so it's something i've been hyper aware of ever since)

so, even if i'm going for a more moody/darker aesthetic like i am with these gifsets of tlou, i never try and diminish the color pedro has in his skin tone. he's got a lot of color in his skin and i want to be able to see it, y'know what i mean?

basically, that boils down to keeping a lot of the warmer tones while also going for an ~aesthetic~ and it can be really hard sometimes. sometimes a show or movie, in this case the last of us, every episode is lit a little differently since it takes place over the course of a year.

i'll put some examples under the cut:

ok so i'll use episodes 2 and 8 as my examples.

to begin with, the last of us has, what i call, a "post-apocalyptic filter" over the top of it so i kinda have to work with that from the start. lots of greens/earthy brown tones and stuff.

this is with only sharpening applied and no color or anything:

and this is with my previously mentioned ~dark and moody~ psd applied on top of that sharpening:

now, this is the same color grading i used on that gifset you were mentioning.

this is also the same color grading i used on episode 8, which takes place in the winter/snowy areas so the coloring to begin with is going to reflect that:

and now with the coloring:

the big thing between these two scenes is that in the winter one, he's also recovering from actively dying and being deathly pale so any color he had in his face is really minimal lmao

so this is already way too fucking long and i don't think i even actually answered your question i am so sorry lol

to start, i ALWAYS start with an automatic curves layer and then adjust accordingly.

the actual color grading part mostly consists of vibrance, hue/saturation, selective color, channel mixer, gradient map, and level layers. i'm willing to give you the psd privately if you'd like to have a closer look at them!

thank you so much for asking and for putting up with my ranting lmao

#toointojoelmiller #asks #i really hope i answered this jfc #if i didn't i'm really sorry #it felt like i was trying to explain like 7 things at once lmao

[365daysofmchart]

Awww, I love that you're doing get to know me asks! Coud you do the first of each? Orchid and #1???

But of course!

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

Oh, geez. This is SOOOO HARD! Like why don’t you just ask me what episode of The Good Wife and/or Fight is my favorite??!

I actually have a “Desert Island Playlist” of 37 songs, all of which I could make a solid argument for in regards to this question 😂 Don’t worry, I won’t give you all of those, but I’m not entirely sure I can get it down to one, either. So here are a few:

Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright

The Story- Brandi Carlile (I listened to this on repeat when beginning Sundays!)

Vienna- Billy Joel

The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra

Winter- The Four Seasons - Vivaldi (Spring gets all of the glory, but Winter SLAPS)

…AND SO MANY OTHERS!!! But these for now, lol.

1✨What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Well, I suppose this one is rather fitting for here, lol, because I’ve been to some beautiful places, I have (and I am so very grateful!), but taking the cake would have to be ✨Provence✨! It was an absolute DREAM, and I don’t say that lightly. The winding roads, and the villages, and the watering holes to swim in, and the alps, and the olive groves, and the sunflowers, and the fields of lavender and their intoxicating scent wafting through the air… 😭😭😭 I’m still not over it all.

With so many places to see around the world and limited time and resources to see them all, there are a number of places that I’ve visited and enjoyed that don’t expect to return to. But Provence? I’ve been longing to return since I left.

…I feel like I heard somewhere that in this next/final season we’re going to see the Provence villa Diane wanted to buy in season 1 come back on the market, and I have a feeling that she’s not gonna go for it fully, but if she (and Kurt) doesn’t decide to at least buy the place as a second home to escape to then I think I’ll be ready to determine that she’s officially lost it 💁🏻‍♀️😂

Thanks for playing along, Anon!

#get to know me #ask game

[extratragic]

birthday girl

warning: blood, mentions of an injury. nothing graphic but the mc gets injured.

summary: Joel ends up taking care of you on your birthday

word count: 2.5k

a/n: i felt like i needed to post a sweet joel fic after the not so sweet thots i’ve had today :) anyway this is my first hockey fic so pls don’t be mean lol i’m sensitive. also i went through like six gifs cause i couldn’t decide on one lolol

Being with Joel was weird. Not a bad weird, but your relationship was difficult to explain. The quick version was that you were dating without the labels. That was your choice, though, not Joel's. If he had it his way, the two of you would be coming up on your eight-month anniversary.

You were the massage therapist for the Flyers. Well, the assistant massage therapist. It was more like being an intern, but you got paid. Becoming certified wasn't hard and it didn't take long, and it really did help that Martin Roza, the Flyers massage therapist, was a family friend. You’d been with the Flyers longer than Joel had been in the NHL, and you didn’t want a relationship to mess with your reputation. You were older than Joel by four months. Today was actually your twenty-second birthday, and Martin, along with the training staff, decided that your present was going to be you staying with them on the bench that night.

Everything was going great until halfway through the second period.

Travis was a few feet in front of the boards separating the guys from the ice, and one of the Buffalo players skated up to him. You couldn't tell who had the puck or where it was going until it hit you.

You didn't even process it until your hand was on your jaw and you were facing Martin. You could feel the blood on your palm.

"Tunnel, tunnel!" You said, stumbling over your feet as you tried getting away from the bench.

Raffa quickly put his arm around your shoulders and helped you walk away. You had to get out of Joel's sight, at least. He worried about you a lot and he wasn't shy about letting you know how much he hated seeing you hurt. When the two of you were out one night, someone bumped into you and made you fall, ending up with you scraping your knee. You were almost certain that if Claude wasn't there, Joel would've gone after the guy who accidentally caused the cut. As soon as you knew you were out of sight from fans and cameras, you stopped walking and took your hand off of your face.

"Oh my god, I'm bleeding!" You exclaimed, looking up at Raffa.

"Hold this to the cut, okay? That's a pretty good gash," he said, putting a towel on your face. You whined and held the towel, walking with him until the two of you were in the trainer's office.

“How bad does it hurt?” He asked.

“It hurts. Like, I can feel it but it’s not processing yet,” you told him.

The actual pain didn’t hit until you were sitting down.

“Fuck!” You yelled, pulling the towel away from your face.

"No, no. Keep the towel on your face until I'm ready to clean it. Do you wanna get blood all over your shirt?" He asked as he moved around, grabbing a few things from the cabinets and drawers.

"No," you whined, holding the towel to your jaw again. The white Gatorade towel was slowly being stained with your blood the longer you held it to your face. "Can you hurry up? This hurts," you snapped.

"Well, yeah. A puck hit your face at a high speed. It’s gonna hurt, but I’m gonna help,” he said.

You glared at him and he turned to face you, setting a few things on the table next to you. The next few minutes were silent as he cleaned your jaw and neck, eventually stitching the gash.

"How are you this bad with pain?" He asked.

"I message people. I don't do the whole injury thing," you sighed.

He hummed and nodded, feeling around your jaw, neck, and cheek. “I think you're good, just pretty bruised. Does it hurt to talk?” He asked.

“A little bit,” you answered. “I’m just happy you can move your jaw. And I don’t think you have a concussion. You can go to the hospital if you want to, but you seem okay,” he said once he took his hands away from your jaw.

“Thank you,” you mumbled.

“Of course. You wanna go back out or do you wanna stay in here?” He asked, taking his gloves off and throwing them away. “How much time is left?” You asked.

He held up his finger and walked out of the room, looking at one of the televisions in the hallway. “Three minutes until intermission,” he answered once he was back in the room.

“I’ll go out next period. I’m gonna stay here until then if that’s fine,” you said.

He nodded and grabbed a new pair of gloves, slipping them on. He left after telling you that he was going back to the bench. You leaned back in the padded chair and sighed, closing your eyes. You had no clue how the hell the guys went back to playing when they got a puck to the face. This hurt like hell.

Halfway through intermission, the door swung open and hit the wall loudly. The noise made you jump and nearly drop your phone. You looked at the door with wide eyes, seeing Joel looking at you.

“Oh. Hey, Bee,” you said nervously.

“‘Hey, Bee?’ Your face is bruised and that’s all you say?” He asked.

“Hey, Bee. I got hit in the face with a puck. I left 'cause I knew you’d freak out like you are right now. I’m fine, though. Nothing but a bruise, according to Raffa,” you told him.

After the last fifteen minutes of sitting by yourself and scrolling through social media, the pain had gone down some with the help of the pain pill Raffa gave you, and you were feeling pretty calm about the whole thing.

He huffed and walked over to you, getting down on his knees to cup the uninjured side of your jaw. “I didn’t think it hit anyone. But then I saw that you were gone and then Raffa was gone, and I was so fucking worried. I’m gonna beat the hell out of whoever did this,” he said and you gave him a small smile.

“Raffa said it was Teeks. you can’t beat up a dad-to-be,” you giggled.

Joel groaned and stood up, kissing your head before walking out. “Konecny!” he shouted. You stood up and walked out, watching as he walked over to Travis.

“Holy shit,” Nolan said.

“Shh. Joel’s attempting to be intimidating,” you told him.

The two of you, along with half of the locker room, watched as Joel scolded Travis for a few seconds until he started talking.

“You-- watch where you swing your stupid stick. That flying puck? It hit y/n,” he said.

Travis’s eyes went wide and he looked around the room until he saw you standing across from him.

“I’m fine,” you said, waving your hand to the side.

“You sure? That thing’s huge,” Nolan said and you glared at him.

"I’m fully aware. Thank you for pointing it out, Patty,” you said.

He cracked a smile and shrugged. While Nolan was smiling at you and you were glaring at him, Travis walked over to the two of you.

"I'm sorry, y/n. Is it bad? Like, did it do more damage than that?" He asked.

“It’s fine, Teeks. Seriously. It’s just a bruise and a few stitches. You didn’t mean to hit me,” you told him.

“It’s fine? Just like that?” Joel asked, looking at you with wide eyes.

You raised your eyebrows and looked up at him. “I told you that I’m fine, J. I need you to chill out. Travis would never purposely hurt me,” you told him.

He scrunched up his face and you grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to you to put your hands behind your back. Everyone knew about your relationship, and they stopped questioning it and giving the two of you looks after a few months.

"I’m good. Travis is fine,” you said quietly. He nodded and you looked at Travis. “I’m fine, I swear. Raffa said it’s just a bruise. No concussion, nothing broken. You don’t have to apologize,” you told him.

Nolan and Travis left you with Joel, but Claude and Kevin were quick to take their spots in front of you. They were both there to check on you and make sure you were okay, but Kevin was also there so he could talk shit on Travis. Joel went along with the shit-talking and you rolled your eyes, tugging on his hand. Once Kevin and Claude walked away, you pulled Joel out of the locker room so the two of you were alone.

“You’re sure that you’re fine?” He asked, gently holding your face in his hands.

You closed your eyes and smiled softly, nodding. "I’m okay, J. You have another 20 minutes of hockey to focus on, though,” you reminded him.

“You won’t be out there, right?” He asked.

“Of course I’ll be out there. You’re gonna kick ass and I gotta watch,” you told him.

Joel argued with you, of course, but he gave in when you pulled the birthday card on him. He loved spoiling you and hated telling you no, so it was easy to make him accept that you were going to watch the game from the bench. This time, though, you wouldn't be the one closest to the ice.

The Flyers ended up winning 4-1, and now Joel could finally get you to his apartment so he could be the one taking care of you.

"How about a bath?" Joel asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand as he drove towards his apartment.

"That sounds amazing. You have the stuff that I like, right?" You asked.

He smiled and nodded, making you smile. "Do you wanna eat?" He asked.

"Nothing that I have to chew a lot. I'll just snack on things, but you can make whatever," you told him.

Joel scoffed softly and squeezed your hand. As if he'd let you snack on things alone. Sure, he was hungry, but he would just snack on whatever he had in his apartment with you.

"I'm not eating a whole meal without you on your birthday. I'll snack with you. At least we had breakfast together," he said.

"Thank you, J," you said softly, bringing your hands to your lips and kissing the back of his hand.

"Always, baby," he said, kissing your knuckles.

When the two of you got to his apartment, Joel went straight to the bathroom to get the bath ready while you made smoothies for now and snacks for later.

"What are we eating?" Joel asked, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

"We're having smoothies while we're in the bath. You know that I hate eating in the bath," you said.

He chuckled and kissed your shoulder, watching as you put together two plates full of fruit and whatever food you felt like you could eat on one plate, putting the fruits and some different snacks on the other plate. It was obvious that Joel's plate was the second and he smiled when he realized that you weren't going to let him eat the same thing as you. If you were at Joel's place, he was never hungry. You even bought groceries sometimes since you were over there so much, and he eventually caught on to everything that you bought for him and for you, and he'd do the grocery runs when food was running low.

Once you finished making the plates, you put them in the fridge and went to the bathroom with Joel. While you stripped and got into the tub, Joel only took his shirt off.

"Aren't you getting in?" You asked, pouting at Joel when he turned to walk out.

"Give me a few minutes, okay? I'll be right back," he said, softly pecking your lips before leaving the bathroom.

He was gone for about five minutes before he walked into the bathroom and got into the bath with you. He sat behind you, happily letting you rest against his chest. The two of you sat in silence for a little bit, just soaking in the hot water together.

"Thanks for winning, by the way," you mumbled, playing with his fingers.

He kissed the crown of your head and hummed. "Good birthday?" He asked.

"Top five, easily. Would be top three but I got a puck to the face," you said and he chuckled.

You grinned and tilted your head back, puckering your lips. Joel leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He kissed your cheek next, placing multiple kisses on your skin and over your bruise, careful to avoid the stitches. You giggled when he nuzzled his face in your neck and placed a few kisses there.

"Want me to wash your body?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "I did that while you were gone. But I could wash yours," you offered.

"Oh, for sure. Switch me," he said, putting his hands on the sides of the tub.

You laughed and slid back, taking his spot after he got out of the tub and quickly climbed back in, laying back against your chest. You grabbed the soap and one of the washcloths, washing his upper body.

"Didn't you do this at the rink?" You asked.

"Like, a basic shower. This is so much better," he said.

You smiled and shook your head, kissing his shoulder when the soap was rinsed off. "Can I lay on you?" He asked. You didn't answer him verbally, choosing to pull him back instead. He sighed when he laid back on you, closing his eyes once his head was on your shoulder.

Once the smoothies were gone, the two of you got out of the bath. You went to get the plates from the fridge while Joel drained the water. You got to his room right before him, your eyes lighting up when you saw what he had done.

"Joel," you said softly, looking around his bedroom.

The soft blanket that was usually on his couch was on the side of the bed that you slept on, along with a heating pad and one of his many extremely soft pillows. Your pajamas- one of his shirts and a pair of boxers- were laid out on your side of the bed. There were two candles, ones that weren't usually in his room, on his nightstand and dresser. All of your skincare products were sitting in front of the mirror. Once you started spending more time at his place, he went out and bought everything that you had in your bathroom so you could have everything at his place, too.

Joel wrapped his arms around your waist, careful to not let your towel fall, and kissed your jaw, the side that wasn't bruised.

"Happy birthday, princess," he mumbled against your skin.

"I'm about to get down on one knee and propose," you said, making him laugh. 

“You'd have to be my girlfriend first, y/n," he said.

You leaned back against his chest and he kissed your cheek. "Will you be my boyfriend, Bee?" You asked. You could feel him grin against your skin.

"Always, y/n/n," he said softly.

“Good, now let’s eat. I’m starving.” 

#joel farabee x reader #joel farabee imagine #joel farabee #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[olliscowizz]

High Ground - Olli Matela FF Part 2

Hiya je suis back. :) Hope I didnt leave y'all waiting too long. I dont have work the next two weeks so be prepared for at least one more update. LOL

Olli

Olli didn’t know he would be fascinated so fast by a human being. But Sara managed to fuck with his head. While he was laying in bed, he couldn’t help but to think about her and her eyes, and her hair. He was just mesmerized by her. After a few hours of just thinking about her, he managed to fall into a restless sleep. To say Olli was grumpy was putting it lightly. Never was a person more in a bad mood. He couldn’t sleep and it didn’t help, that his thoughts were still circling around Sara. “Good morning!”, screamed Joel, when he entered the room, Sara behind him. What were they doing together? “Run into her, when I picked up our coffees. She doesn’t like coffee! Can you believe this? But she’s drinking her third Red Bull already”, Joel couldn’t be helped and he just rambeled. How could a person be this motivated in the morning? Olli would never get it. “So for today. Lets just keep songwriting”, Niko said and they all agreed. After three hours of intense working, their heads were smoking and they almost couldn’t concentrate anymore. “Lets take a break”, to all of their surprise, it was Sara who said this. “Actually, its already one o’clock. Lets take the rest of the day off”, Sara continued and managed to surprised all of them. Yesterday she didn’t want to go out and drink beer with them, and now she suggested, that they should take the rest of the day off? Olli looked at the other boys and noticed that they were as perplexed as he was. “Well what else do you want to do?”, asked Joonas. “I figured, that if we don’t get along really well, this song will not do as good as we all hope it will.”, she explained. Of course it was about the song. Olli watched as Sara put a strand of her short hair behind her ears and smiled to himself. She was cute. Definitely. “Okay. Agreed”, Tommi chirped in. “But that doesn’t answer the question what we should do”, argued Aleksi and we all nodded in agreement. “Since I am not from Finland, how about you guys show me around”, Sara suggested and they all said yes.

Sara

Sara noticed that the boys were all really stressed. She on the other hand wanted to get out of the studio, because the air was getting bad. She walked a few paces behind them and just looked at the beautiful architecture. The houses were build different than back in her hometown in Scotland. Tommi was walking beside her and explained her everything that he knew. She was thankful. The guys didn’t treat her as the star that she was. They treated her as a normal human being. Something she wasn’t used to. “So after all this walking”, Joel started after they were walking for one hour. “We should grab a beer in this bar”, he pointed to a bar while he was finishing his sentence. The guys immediately agreed. Sara started to panic. She couldn’t ditch them once again. But if her manager found out that they weren’t working he would kill Sara. He would already be mad, if he would find out, that they were out and about in the city. “ehm…”, Sara started but couldn’t finish her sentence, cause they all looked at her with puppy-eyes. How could she say no to that? “Okay. One beer wont kill me”, she said and followed them inside. While Joel und Niko were ordering beer for everyone, Sara followed the rest of them to the tables and sat down next to Olli.

Olli

He froze once she sat down next to him. He started to feel how his palms were getting sweaty. Keep cool. He thought to himself and tried to secretly rub his hands dry on his pants. The other two returned with their beer and they all started drinking. After everyone had two beer more the mood started to get more comfortable and they all talked freely with each other. Olli even put his arm on the chair behind Sara. She didn’t seem to mind it, as she sometimes, when she thought nobody would notice lean her back against his arm. Olli of course noticed an couldn’t help but smile to himself whenever she did that. Olli had a few beers and couldn’t help it an started to draw small circles on Sara’s shoulderblades. He just hoped the other guys wouldn’t notice it but they too had a few beers. He felt the chills running down Sara’s spine and smirked. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who felt a attraction towards the other person. He was confirmed in his thinking, when he felt a small hand land on his leg. They continued their small touching until Niko abruptly got up, Olli immediately took his hand off of Saras shoulder and played it cool. He didn’t want Niko to think something wrong. Sara wasn’t bothered in the slightest. She kept her hand on Ollis leg and started to slowly caress it. Olli took a sharp breath, and coughed to cover it up. What was she doing with him? No woman ever was this bold with him. He liked it. After five more minutes of her just caressing his leg and him not being able to form a single thought she stopped her movement and took her hand away. “Its getting late guys”, she stated the obvious. “I should go and sleep and sleep a few hours before we continue with the song”, she said and got up from the table. The other guys offered to walk her to her hotel, but she politely declined their offers. And then she walked out the door. “Olli are you okay? You’ve been staring at the door for five minutes now!”, Joonas pulled him out of his thought. Was he okay? “Yeah everythings good”, he said and smiled at his friend. Was he really okay? She managed to completely fuck with his head now, just because she caressed his leg a little bit. Fuck. He couldn’t help but think about what would’ve happened if they were alone. “Is somebody crushing on Sara?”, Joonas of course noticed the shift in behavior of his friend and didn’t miss a opportunity to mess with him. “No! I don’t even know her!”, he defended himself and drank his beer empty. “I am going home too”, he stated and got up from the table without waiting for their answer.

Sara

In the taxi, she leaned her head against the window and thought about the evening. Why did she do that to Olli? Of course he is very attractive but there was no need for her to put her hand on his leg and just fucking leave it there! She was confused. No one ever made her feel that way. But she couldn’t afford to be in a relationship. It would end her career. And there was nothing more important than her career! When she arrived in her hotelsuite, she wasn’t surprised to find her manager sitting on a chair. “Where were you?”, he asked her. “Out with the guys from Blind Channel. I was getting to know them, since songwriting would be easier like that”, she explained him. Took fresh clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. She couldn’t be bothered with him right now. “Just make sure you don’t get too close to them”, he shouted through the door and he could hear another door close. He must have left. After showering she went into her bed, and tried to fall asleep. But sleep didn’t come, so she grabbed her phone and searched all the Blind Channel guys on Instagram and followed them. Olli was the last. She didn’t just follow him she also pressed on the Direct Message button. -Sorry for leaving so fast, but I need my sleep-, she texted him. Without any emojis or anything. It wasn’t long until she got her answer. -Don’t worry. I also left soon after you went home. Hope we didn’t creep you out too much :’)- he texted her back and she couldn’t help but smile. They were all so nice, they could never creep her out, she thought and texted Olli this. And while they were texting over small and big thing they both fell asleep with a smile on their face, with thoughts on the other person.

#olli matela #joel hokka #joonas porko #aleksi kaunisvesi #alex mattson #niko vilhelm #tommi lalli #blind channel #blind channel imagines #blind channel fanfiction

[darlingsdevil]

Of The Valley (Joel x Reader)

Chapter 2: Bullet Memories

Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder.

Chapter summary: A test is administered. Did you fail?

Tag list (please comment to be added or removed): @sidepuff @joelsheartache @fangirl-inthe-us @cowboyfrazer

RDR2 Masterlist

Of The Valley Masterlist

A/N: Hi everyone. I’ve been really happy with how this story is going so far! I hope you will stick around!

Please tell me if you see any ‘Mike’s’ — I keep accidentally writing Mark’s name as Mike lol.

:readmore:

•••

You rode in silence for the rest of the way. That didn’t help with calming you down either. Every inch of you was burning up at the thought of being outside Jackson again. Having to relive that nightmare all over again. At least it was nice out, but the hollowed out homes and burnt cars were anything but soothing.

Joel’s silence was disheartening. You knew he was upset at you. In truth, you hadn’t really talked to anyone you were close with in the past three months. You blissfully shut out everyone you were close to and had meaningless conversations with mere acquaintances at the bar. People came by and checked in on you, but you almost always pretended you weren’t home, or you lied and said Mark was sleeping.

Joel deserved an explanation for your disappearance, you were avoiding him, but you weren’t avoiding him because of something he had done. The explaining section was the hard part, you weren’t sure where to begin or even when you should. Joel would listen. That was given, you just weren’t sure you were ready to open up just yet.

When you finally arrived at the nest after a solemn ride, your breath hitched at the side of your old spot. It had been longer than three months that you had been there. It was your favorite nest to shoot out of. Secluded, hard to get to, views of all roads leading to the small perch.

Joel hopped down from Caesar and hitched him on the tree, you followed suit. You took a small sugar cube out of your old saddle bag and gave it to her. Levia was a spoiled horse.

You walked up the steep hill to where Tommy was waiting, when you finally saw him you smiled. Your worries drifting away momentarily.

“Damn girl, didn’t think you would ever show up,” Tommy joked, holding out his arms for a hug.

“Didn’t think I was going to either. Maria convinced me to,” You laughed, hugging him tightly.

“My wife is a convincing one, that’s for sure,” Tommy chuckled as he began walking over to the nest. Joel leaned against a tree watching you two interact. Tommy nodded to Joel. You pulled the rifle off your shoulder and kneeled down on the wooden hut that was on the side of the hill. Tommy kneeled down next to you. The rifle’s weight was strange and clunky. It used to feel so natural in your hand, but now it felt like you were holding a stick.

“See them over there?” Tommy pointed towards the tree line. You pulled out your binoculars and looked at the group of infected. A couple of runners and two clickers.

“That’s all of them?” You hissed out. Why were there so few?

“So far. Spotted some more earlier, but they disappeared into the forest, we might be able to draw them out from the gunfire.” Tommy eyed you, speaking quietly.

“There’s six infected and it’s a two man job? Come on Tommy, you could have taken these out within ten minutes,” You huffed, pulling your rifle up to your shoulder and looking out the scope.

“I promise there’s more. I saw at least three.”

“Three? There’s only three more?” You stared at Tommy. Things were beginning to make less and less sense..

“There’s more by the north lookout,” Tommy explained. You sighed and picked up a bullet from the box Tommy had brought over. Feeling a bullet in your hand sent your nerves racing. There was suddenly a loud buzzing in your ear, growing increasingly louder and louder.

“You have to stay silent. If they see you, they’ll kill you.”

You blinked and it was gone. Whispers of a memory that would forever be etched into your mind. “Tommy, will you, take the first one?” You looked up at him with wide eyes, your voice vacant. Tommy nodded with an understanding look and took his own rifle and lined up his shot on a runner near the tree line. He pushed out the breath from his lungs and shot. You looked away, wincing, as the bullet hit its mark.

“Your turn,” Tommy said, resting his rifle on the wooden perch.

You gulped and slowly picked up your rifle, hiking it up to your shoulder. You gently picked up a bullet from the box without looking, you loaded it into the chamber. You looked out into scope, staring down at the infected below. It had been a while since you had seen infected. They were almost hard to look at, their bloody torn faces and mechanical moving bodies. It was saddening. They were people once too.

You lined up your shot. You let out all your breath, your finger over the trigger, and pulled it. You felt the recoil before you heard the shot. The burst of noise sounded like a scream. A warning. You weren’t supposed to be out here.

You immediately pushed the gun down, you fell back to the floor, crawling away from the gun. Panic rose in your chest, you tried your hardest to quell it, but nothing worked, fear outweighed everything when there was nothing else there. Tommy rushed to your side, he was concerned.

Your eyes were wide, and terror ripped through you like a wave, pulling you under. Joel noticed too, he came over quickly. Joel or Tommy asked you something, but you could barely hear. It was too loud, the ringing in your ears sounded like a terrible screaming alarm.

“Oh my god,” You choked out, eyes unfocusing. Tears threatening to spill from your eyes in heavy droplets.

“Hey, hey, snap out of it,” Joel gently shook you. You pulled your arm away from him quickly. You glared at him without thinking.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened,” You said, you put your hands on the cool grass in an attempt to ground yourself.

“Well it’s okay, I think we’ll head back to the north lookout for a little while, until you calm down, that okay?” Tommy asked you, looking at you with sympathy.

You still weren’t calm, it felt like a scream was waiting to be pulled out, but if you tried, no sound would come. Instead there was silence. Not a single sound in the world.

“Yeah, yeah,” You replied quickly, springing yourself up from the ground and brushing the dirt off from your pants. Tommy and Joel shared a look. Tommy picked up the guns from behind you, you reached out to take yours but Tommy resisted.

Joel unhitched the horses for you while you waited, holding your arms and taking in deep shuddering breaths. You knew exactly what came over you, it was foolish to agree to this stupid patrol. Tommy could have easily done it himself and you wouldn’t have had to make a mockery of yourself.

Joel led Levia over to you, and helped you up to the saddle. You had something to hold on to now, which was much better than before. Tommy got on his own horse and waited for Joel to hop on Caesar. When everyone was situated, you headed off towards the north lookout.

•••

The ride was silent on the way there, luckily it was only an hour away. Anymore silence would have made your head hurt. You still weren’t entirely calm, you were still outside of Jackson, your job wasn’t done here yet.

When the large building came into view you suddenly remembered all the good times you had there.

You hitched Levia at the front of the lookout and walked in, Joel and Tommy following you.

“You wanna tell us what the hell happened back there?” Joel asked while you walked down, setting your bag down at the table.

“No. I don’t want to talk about it,” You sighed. You weren’t in the mood for another argument. Why did Joel always have to pry?

“Okay well, Joel and I will get out of your hair for awhile, I think Ellie should be nearby, actually, we’ll go get her,” Tommy said from behind you. He hit Joel on the arm for that last comment.

“Ellie’s nearby?” You asked, plopping down on the couch. You noticed her guitar then.

“Yep, she’s been waiting to hang out with you, you know? Been awhile since she’s seen you,” Tommy responded, you could hear him grabbing something from the kitchen.

“She has?” Both you and Joel said at the same time. You glanced over at Joel, your eyebrow raised, he simply shrugged.

“Course she has. You’re like a mother to that girl,” Tommy said, looking through the cabinets. That was true of course, when things got rough in general for her, Ellie was the one she came to talk to. Someone who wasn’t related to Joel — or an in law, someone who wasn’t close with her friends, just an outside force in her life. It was good to have someone like that.

Tommy threw something on the couch next to you, you were startled for a moment. Upon examination, you realized it was a candy bar.

“Found Mark’s stash up here a few weeks back. Hid it for you,” Tommy told you. Joel was silent.

“Thanks.” You opened up the candy bar. It was Mark’s favorite. He always said that a person could be having the worst day of their life, and all they would need was a candy bar to make it good again. You weren’t sure how true it was — but candy did make you happier.

“We’ll be going out now, you best not go anywhere, alright?”

“I won’t be going anywhere, Tommy.”

•••

“Seriously Joel? The hell is going on with you two?”

“Ask her. She’s only avoided me for the past three goddamn months, and suddenly on my first day off in weeks, I have to escort her to a place she knows damn well where it is? Seems pretty damn fishy to me,” Joel scoffed. Caesar galloped besides Tommy’s horse, they were getting closer to the Ottawa Lookout, where Ellie was at.

“You know what today was supposed to be for her, Joel?” Tommy asked Joel.

“No, you really think I’m told much of anything that goes on about her anymore?”

“Today was supposed to be a test. See how well she could do back on patrol, ease her back into this, and Joel, you aren’t making this much easier for her,” Tommy glared at his brother as they traveled across the forest to the lookout.

Joel’s brow furrowed, “A test? The hell for?”

“You really are as dumb as rocks, big brother. It’s not my place to say. Maybe you should confront her about it instead of bickering and causing her to panic. Even a goddamn clicker could see that you were making her uncomfortable.”

“And you think I haven’t tried asking her where she’s been for the past three months?”

“Knowing you Joel, I’m sure you didn’t ask. More like yelled,” Tommy bit back. Joel was more than willing to continue the argument, but the Ottawa lookout came into view. It was a smaller building, that was once a home, on a steep hill that faced Jackson.

Ellie’s horse, Shimmer was waiting outside. Ellie was on the front porch with a journal.

“Hey guys,” Ellie called out.

Joel and Tommy waved to her as they got off their horses.

“Let’s go inside for a bit. Got some things I want to discuss,” Tommy said.

“Sure,” Ellie grabbed her notebook and headed in. She sat down at the table that faced the many windows, Joel and Tommy pulling up a chair to sit with her.

“How’d it go? Didn’t expect you guys to be back so soon.” Ellie rested her hands on her thighs, waiting for an answer.

“Can’t say it went well so far. I think we’ll go back out tomorrow, or maybe later today,” Tommy shrugged. Ellie gave him a knowing look.

“Wait, you’re telling me Ellie’s on this too?” Joel asked, leaning forward onto the table.

“Yeah? I mean, I thought you were too,” Ellie said, raising her eyebrows in confusion.

“Maria decided two people would be enough. She wanted to ease into it, get her around people who don’t piss her off immensely,” Tommy replied, glancing over to Joel.

Joel huffed before replying, “We butt heads sometimes, sure, but I don’t piss her off all that much.”

“All that much? Joel, I saw how uncomfortable she was riding with you.” Tommy shook his head. The sun was high in the sky now, the windows allowing light to come through.

“And Mark couldn’t have come out here instead of me, why?” Joel asked Tommy. He was only becoming more and more confused.

“Mark’s out of commission right now, but it don’t matter. I know you care about her Joel, I know she cares about you too but Maria just wanted to test the waters first. It was supposed to be your day off too, she didn’t want to assign you to a small job like this.”

“Yeah, why are you even here?” Ellie said curiously.

“Maria asked me to escort her. If Maria didn’t want me out here, why’d she ask me to come?”

“Y/N insisted you come. Maria told me that she said that she needed someone she could trust out here. Someone who she could count on,” Tommy said.

“Count on? And she can’t count on you guys?”

“She can’t count on us in the way only you could,” Tommy replied slowly, he leaned back into his chair.

Joel nodded, it was all starting to click in place.

“Still doesn’t make much sense why she doesn’t want to go on patrols anymore.”

“I’m not really sure either,” Ellie chimed in.

“Not mine or Maria’s place to say. If you want to hear why, maybe ask her, but be careful, I hear it’s a delicate subject.”

•••

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader #tlou 2 #tlou 2 spoilers #the last of us pt 2 #the last of us part 2 #the last of us pt ii #the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part ii #the last of us pt 2 spoilers #the last of us #the lash of us part 2 spoilers #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #tlou x reader #tlou 2 x reader #of the valley

[blazinbeautywrites]

Band Wars: Rise of the Phoenix

Note: Due to the rampant uprising of plagiarism on this site and others I am stating once and once only that this is my ORIGINAL work. If I find out that you have stolen/taken any part of my work I will handle you and the situation the way I see fit.

None of the pics or gifs I use belong to me so full credit goes to the originators of said gifs and pics.

Length: 2,356 words

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out guys. I was not happy with the final results and when I was I still was unsure so I rewrote it again and decided to just post it. I’ll let yall be the judge lol.

Genre: Honestly idk lmao

Chapter 1

 Universal Music Group (UMG) decides to debut a new girl group, PHOENIX on their first ever reality show “Next Big Thing.” The winners of the show get a 5 year, 5 album recording contract and will tour with CNCO 1 year after they debut. The winner of the show was Zania Reye Bloom, followed by London Monroe Jones, Jolene Maria Sanchez, Siane Rei Choi, and Avery Lynn O'Reilly. The band is composed of 5 talented women with different ethnic backgrounds, ages 24-25. 

Since the show served as the girl’s training they were immediately thrusted into the spotlight after the show ended. They went to work on their debut album and as the release date approached the girls were getting antsy. Now only were they about to release their baby onto the world, but they were finally meeting CNCO today and discussing ideas for their tour.

*UMG headquarters in LA*

“Yoooo I’m fucking excited! Can yall believe our debut album is coming out in a couple days?” London said as she led a couple of her members to the elevators.

“Girl this tour bout to be lit as fuck. Bruuuh we’re going to fucking Sweden. I didn’t even think we had fans out there.” Zania said.

“Yeah you can thank that girl Astrid who made the finals. She was Swedish.” Avery said.

The girls finally heard the elevator ding at their floor and immediately got out. The girls walked into a meeting room where they saw their other 2 members Jolene and Siane bonding with the boys of CNCO.

“Finally you bitches show up. What took yall so long?” Siane asked.

“Avery thinks she’s still in Ireland and almost drove us into a damn ditch.” Zania said.

“You’re alive aren’t you? So quit complaining.” Avery said as she took a seat opposite Erick.

“Anyways if yall are done….THIS is CNCO ladies. This is Zabdiel, Christopher, Erick, Joel, and this is Richard.” Siane said as she pointed to each boy as she introduced them. Richard definitely caught Zania’s eye and she quickly averted her eyes so he wouldn’t catch her ogling him. Little did she know, he was checking her out too.

“And I’m Zania, and of course yall met Jolene and Siane. This is London and Avery.” She said as she gestured to her other bandmates. She was about to say something else when a tall, slender woman walked into the room followed by a man wearing the loudest shade of yellow and another woman dressed in all black.

“Okay let’s make this short and sweet. I’m Veronica Pierce, you can call me Vee or Ms. Pierce, never Veronica. Get it? Got it? Good. I am your tour  creative director. I’ll be working closely with you all to design your tour. And please, let’s all collectively agree on a specific concept. I will not have my people designing 2 separate stages. To my left is Chez Moa, your set designer. And to my right is Mel Carter she and her team will be styling you all so meet with her some time this week so she can get an idea of what you guys want and need. And ladies you have a busy weekend ahead. Friday you have your album release, press runs, then your album release party later that night. Saturday you’ll be on Good Day LA where you’ll be interviewed and then perform your lead single. Sunday you have a mini showcase where yall will perform some fan fave covers from the show and a few songs from the album, including your single with CNCO. You’ll have tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday to learn choreo for both performances. You’ll meet your choreographer tomorrow. Any questions?” 

The whole room was silent as both groups stared at Veronica and her associates. Zania raised her hand and the other members of Phoenix sighed. They knew how this shit was about to play out.

“So do we get to breathe? Or do we have to pencil that in too?” Zania asked. She knew she was being an asshole but this shit was ridiculous.

“Hmmmm you must be Zania Bloom. They told me you had a mouth on you. Listen up sweetie this my show. I call the shots and if they bother you, you can leave.” Veronica said. Zania smirked at her and leaned back in her chair.

“Nah I’m good. You may continue, Ms. Pierce.” Zana said. Sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Anyways that’s all for now. And remember this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It can be taken away in the blink of an eye so watch yourselves.” Veronica spoke. She eyed the room but everyone knew exactly who that was meant for. She, Mel, and Chez exited the room in silence. Once they left, Siane burst out laughing.

“Yo I was clenching my fucking ass cheeks. She’s soo fucking hot.” Siane said.

“Keep it in your pants Siane. And Zania, girl why did you do that? You made that shit more intense than it needed to be.” London asked.

“You know me, I just had to say something. She was a bitch to us when we did the show, now they’re making her the tour director, wtf?” Zania said.

“Am I the only one who noticed that guy had on too much yellow?” Chris said. Everyone turned to him and started laughing.

“Look, I ain’t wanna say anything but he was so wrong for that. And it was a complete contrast to Mel who had on all black.” Jolene said.

“But real shit Vee ain’t no joke, she can make or break you. So just be careful.” Richard said. He made eye contact with Zania and she smiled at him.

“Oh I’m not afraid of her. She’s on a power trip so I’ll entertain her mess for the sake of this tour. You don’t have to worry bout me baby boy.” Zania said. Everyone got up to leave but on her way to the door she was stopped by Richard.

“I don’t know if you realized but I’m a grown ass man so that baby boy shit not gon fly with me.” Richard said. Zania was amused.

“Oh did I bruise your whittle ego babe? Look it’s not that serious-”

“But it is that serious so treat me with respect or keep it moving baby girl.” Richard said as he cut her off. He walked away leaving Zania stunned in silence. She walked back to her group and chuckled.

“Yall…...that guy Richard just lowkey put me in my fucking place. Oh this tour is gonna be so damn fun.” Zania said. She and her bandmates went to find their stylists to get started on designing their perfect tour outfits.

                                             ______________

It had been a full 5 hours and the girls were hard at work on their choreo. They were thankful that most of the songs they performed were their covers from their reality show so the moves were ingrained in their heads. They breezed through their choreo for their own singles and just finished running through them a final time before Laurieann Gibson called for lunch. The girls were beyond starved and as they walked to the cafe area of the upscale dance studio they saw CNCO walk through the door.

“Oop the boys are here.” Jolene said as she fixed her slightly messy hair. She made eye contact with Zabdiel as he and the other boys walked into the dance studio they’s just left.

“Ooooohhh do I sense a little crush? London teased.

“See that tall one, Zabdiel? I promise you, I will climb him like a fucking tree.” Jolene said, much to the amusement of her group. 

“Woah. Down girl, we have a whole ass tour to get through.” Avery said.

“Look if I can’t fuck Vee, you can’t fuck Zabdiel.” Siane argued.

“Girl. Zabdiel is fair game, Vee is our fucking boss. There’s a difference.” Zania said as the girls found a table near the back of the cafe. Avery went to order them some food and soon a waiter came back with a tray of fruit, some finger sandwiches, and a basket of the cafe’s homemade potato chips.

“This looks so good and I’m starving.” London said. As the girls ate they discussed the difficult choreo.

“I really thought Laureiann was gonna throw her shoe or some shit at you cuz you couldn’t get that one move down.” Siane said.

“I wish she would throw some shit at me.” Jolene said while the others laughed at her.

“What kind of shit yall think they’ll have us do with the boys?” London asked.

“Probably something sexy, ya kno to pander to the fans.” Avery answered.

“I heard that they’re partnering us up with them for the collab so whomever we pick is our dance partner for the song.” Siane added.

“Well. this should be fun.” Zania said. The girls chat a little bit longer before cleaning up and heading back into the dance studio. When they arrived they heard their song with CNCO playing. Laurieann was teaching them their choreo and once saw the girls she turned the music off and immediately began assigning pairs.

“Okay London you’re with Joel, Jolene with Eric, Zabdiel and Siane, Avery and Chris are partners and lastly, Zania, you’re with Richard. Everyone please stand with your partner. I’m only gonna do the dance two times and then you’re gonna do it and we’ll fine tune everything afterwards” Lauriann said as she read off her list. Before the girls could even process anything they quickly got into formation to do the choreo.

                                            ______________

A few hours later, both Phoenix and CNCO were spread out on the floor, exasperated. Lauriann told them to rest up and that she’d see them in the morning before she left them all a sweaty mess in the studio.

“I swear there are parts of me that are sweating I ain’t know could sweat.” Siane said as she attempted to lift her head to no avail.

“Girl I feel like my fucking feet are gonna fall off.” Zania said.

“I can’t feel my left asss cheek.” Jolene mumbled.

“Bruh at least yall voices aren’t hoarse as fuck.” Richard said.

“We should probably start heading out because I need an ice bath or some shit.” Avery said as she willed her body to move. Everyone followed suit and struggled getting to their feet. When the girls began packing up to leave, Zabdiel strolled on over to pull Jolene to the side. Zania looked on and smirked to herself. All she hoped was that whatever they had going on didn’t get in the way of her group’s path to success. She snapped out of her little daze just as Jolene made it back.

“Well, what was that about?” Zania asked.

“Girl he asked for my number. I was like no and he said can you really say no to this face. I almost fucking melted so I gave him my number. He’s so fucking cocky. I love it.” Jolene beamed. Zania could tell her friend was happy so she chose to keep her mouth shut. The girls finally made it to the elevator when Zania realized she’d left her phone in the dance studio.

“Shut yall I left my phone. Yall go on I’ll text yall once I get home.” Zania said.

“Girl we’ll wait, just hurry up.” London said. Zania jogged back to the building and ran up the stairs to be quicker. Once she got to the door of the studio she heard the boys talking.

“I really like that girl London. She’s classy, yet has a sexy side. I like that.” Joel said.

“Now see Jolene….them lips. I bet her head game on point.” Zabdiel said.

“Ew bro what the hell!” Eric exclaimed.

“I know you of all people are not talking.” Richard said.

“Even though I think she’s kind of a bitch, Zania fine as fuck too.” Christopher said.

“Yeah she is fine. Yall seen that ass? I’d love to get behind that.” Richard said. Zania had heard enough and walked into the room.

“Yall should really make sure that the door is completely closed before you talk about us. Anyways I left my phone and just came back to get it. Oh and Richard, Zabdiel? I understand that Jolene and I are attractive but please don’t talk about us like we’re pieces of meat mkay?” With that she grabbed her phone and walked out, leaving the boys a little dumbfounded. Once she got back outside she filled her girls on what she heard.

“You know. We should teach them a lesson.” Jolene said.

“Oop I sense an infamous Jolene Sanchez prank.” Siane said.

“Yep. Okay so here’s the plan.” Jolene explains the little prank they’ll play on the boys at the showcase. They’d messed with the wrong girls.

                                            _____________

The rest of the week went by in a blur and before they knew it, their album release day was finally here. It’d only been a few hours and their album was already number 1 on a few of the urban and pop album charts. Siane screenshot the Billboard charts where their album was number 1 and sent it to their group chat. She then called them all on a video chat.

“WAKE UP BITCHES! WE NUMBER 1 BABYYYYYY!!!!1!” She yelled into the phone. The others, as groggy as they were, laughed at how hyped their member was.

“Girl you are so lucky I was up getting ready or I’d curse you the fuck out.” Zania said. 

“Bitch whatever. Anyways I love yall so much! We’ve officially ARRIVED! Like we in the fucking building forreal now. WHEW! Let me start getting my shit together. See yall soon. Love ya! Siane said as she hung up the video call. The girls were buzzing and couldn’t be any happier that after almost 6 months, their hard work has finally paid off and that their fans love their album as much as they do. They couldn’t wait to see what lie ahead for them. They knew whatever it was, it was gonna be big.

#cnco #christopher velez #richard camacho #zabdiel de jesus #joel pimentel #erick brian colón #band wars: rise of the phoenix #bwrotp #cnco scenarios #christopher velez scenarios #richard camacho scenarios #zabdiel de jesus scenarios #joel pimentel scenarios #erick brian colón scenarios

[hashire]

Right to work (for less) passed the Assembly 6 years ago today. Tyler August closed the galleries shortly after session started. They were never reopened for that session day. I was very mad! But I went to the Capitol after work anyway. 

There was a rally around the time the Capitol was supposed to close (it has to be open when the legislature is in session, so it was actually open all night), and people came in. They went to outside of the governor’s office, for some reason. Walker wasn’t signing the bill that night. He wasn’t even there. A few people came over to the Assembly area (it was blocked off so the public couldn’t stand outside of it because they’re what? Cowards!) to hang out, but at some point, the numbers dwindled down to three people:  me and two of my friends. 

I made appeals to my Republican representative friends (this is the only reason why I was friendly with them:  to get places) when they came out of the chamber. Didn’t work. We tried to talk to Peter Barca, who was minority leader then, but he just told us we can watch it on WisEye. Fuck that. Jonathan Brostoff gave us a bag of apples. It was very cute. Joel Kleefisch got me coffee when I asked him to because he’s weird and really, really wanted to be friends with me.

I was wearing my Survey Corps sweatshirt because fuck it, if I have to stay up all night I’m gonna show my weeb side. (The sweatshirt got fucked up in the wash; RIP sweatshirt.) No one commented on it. My hands got horribly dry from going outside without gloves (it was cold) and likely the soap I was using to wash my hands. By the morning, they were cracked and bleeding. This was a normal winter experience before I started going hard on lotioning my hands. 

I had a good time with my friends. I got scolded by a Capitol Police Officer for blowing bubbles and just told her to go away once I stopped. My friend couldn’t believe I had gotten away with talking to her that. I’d been interacting with that cop for years and years by that point. She patted me down once when I got arrested for singing. They pretty much all knew me at one point, and I’d been like that with these cops for a long time. Also, I’m white. 

I had to go home to drive my mom to work because that was just what I had to do. She was perfectly capable of doing it but made my dad do it when he retired. He’d been away for almost two weeks at this point, out in his mine, trying to find gold. (Shortly after he returned home, he left again and filed for divorce. It’s a long story.) 

I returned before the bill had passed (everyone knew it would; it was pointless for the Dems to go all night making speeches but they did). After some jeering at the Republicans when they all filed out and asking then Representative Mandela Barnes what a paired vote was, I drove one of my friends home so she could at least get changed before she went to work. I had the day off, which was good because I had been awake for more than 24 hours at that point. 

I went home, slathered some ointment on my hands, and tried to sleep. Tried, because my sister decided it was time to cry really loudly in her room. Yeah, it’s mean of me to have been annoyed but she could have done this at many other points during the way, when I wasn’t trying to sleep after pulling an all nighter. She was aware that I was trying to sleep as well. (I don’t understand loud crying. My mom does it and I feel like the purpose is to make everyone else miserable, too. Anyway.) I had to get up to get my mom from work, of course. 

I had an allergy attack and couldn’t sleep after coming home again. I remember trying to read SNK 67 but was so exhausted that I was just staring at the pages in confusion. I chatted briefly with another representative friend on facebook (a Dem, because my friendliness with the legislative Republican ended after I left the building and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to be friends with them on facebook), mostly about being tired lol. It was a Friday so I didn’t have to worry about work the next day.

Yeah I don’t have a thrilling ending. This is just me rambling anyway. Bye. Love you.

#writing about life

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 6

Grand Masterlist , Series Masterlist

Wanna be tagged for future fics?

@apla-o-eaytos-mou​ @pretendcnco​ @joelitos-baby​ @chellybear98​ @boundtobreakk​ @cncogirl18​ @ericksmamita​ @prettymuch-cnco​ @pizzaspirits​ @cncoaddicted​ 

Previous Chapter

I know these chapters have been kinda shit lately lol but please, bare with me. I’ve never written a series before awsedrf anyways, I’ve written the rest of the chapters and I can’t wait to share them with y’all! I hope you guys enjoy chapter 6! x

~~

“Joel, you’re making a big mistake.”

“If you really like someone, you shouldn’t give up on them so easily.”

Richard just doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m not making a mistake –  I know what I’m doing. Sure I feel bad about this, but this has to pay off in the end, right?

I have to be honest with myself though… (Y/N) is actually pretty cool and funny. If I wasn’t doing this, then we might actually be great friends. I do wonder how long this little thing will last though. I don’t want to drag her too deep and have her fall for me because then that would be cruel… I mean, what I’m doing right now isn’t good either, but this is different.

It’s been a couple days since I’ve last seen my group of friends, but it’s definitely been a couple of minutes since I’ve last spoken to (Y/N). We’re currently playing Battleship through GamePigeon on messages.

Chime

‘Oh you little fucker. You’re cheating somehow >:(’

I smirked and wrote back to her, finishing my turn. Sinking, yet again, another one of her ships.

‘You’re a sore loser :P you just suck at hiding your shit from me’

I laughed at her comments and continued beating her at this little game we’re playing. “Joel?” I looked up from my phone and saw all the boys’ faces on me. “Hmm? What?”

“We’ve been talking to you for the past couple of minutes. Who are you texting?” Erick asked as I noticed Christopher had a knowing look on his face. “Uh just a friend..” I quickly put my phone in my pocket and cleared my throat. “Just  a friend?” Zabdiel asked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down playfully. “Oh my – ”

Chime

I didn’t dare look down at my phone as they all waited, looking at me with anticipation. “… You gonna get that?” Richard asked. He especially cannot know about (Y/N) and what I’m doing. I shook my head and patted the phone that rested inside the pocket of my jeans. “No, I’d rather talk to you guys.”

“Dude, it’s okay. No need to get embarrassed.” Richard smiled. “We’re just teasing a little.” I nodded at him as they got back to what they were talking about. I waited a few minutes before looking down at my phone.

‘Aha! Gotcha! I finally found another one of your ships!’

I chuckled and wrote back to her.

‘So? I know where your last two are ;) prepare to accept defeat’

We continued texting each other until Yoandri decided to call me. I excused myself and walked out of the room until I knew no one could hear me. “Hello?” I asked. “Hey! It’s me.” I heard him say. “Hey.” A smile immediately plastered itself onto my face. “How are you, bro?”

“I’m doing okay. I’m just out with Johann and Sam right now getting some food and we were wondering if you wanted to join? It’s totally cool if you can’t or are not feeling up to it. You’re not obliged to say yes.”

“Oh uh..” Quick! Think! I would love to go, but the whole reason why I’m even going out with (Y/N) is so I don’t seem too available. I have to make it believable somehow. Doing this will make you-know-who want to spend more time with me. “You know what? I’m.. actually busy right now. I’m going out with someone later on today and I have to get ready.”

“Hey, it’s no problem!” I heard him chuckle and shuffle in the background. “Yeah, I’m really sorry man. We can hang out later on in the week?”

“Joel, it’s no big deal haha I get that you’re busy, so don’t worry about it... who are you meeting up with?” Innocent question, but I can’t quite tell him the whole truth. I could hear him chuckle on the other line as he waited for my answer. “What? Uh no one.. it’s just a girl I’ve been seeing..”

“Oh my God you finally got someone?” He exclaimed. “Scream it out for the world to hear, would you?”

“Oh come on! This is big news! How can you keep this from me?” He laughed. “It’s not a big deal.” I chuckled. “Does anyone else know about her?” I shook my head and almost forgot that he can’t see me. “Nah, just Chris but that’s about it.”

After a few minutes of him trying to pry more information out of me about her, he hung up the phone as I stood out into the hallway. I bet (Y/N) would be willing to go out today. She’s probably free anyways.

‘Hey, you wanna get dinner together later on? x’

I sent her a text and received one in return moments later.

‘Aahh I can’t today :( lol sorry! I’m having a night in with my girls :) x’

Well then.. there goes those plans.

‘When can I see you again? x’

‘Patience is a virtue, Pimentel lol I’ll let you know soon. x’

‘I’ll be patient for you, princesa. I’ll wait. x’

I don’t know why I called her “princesa”, it just slipped out. Hmm… I’m sure Chris is willing to go out. I walked back into the room where the rest of the boys were and walked up to Chris. “Hey man, you feel like going out right now?” I asked as he smiled. “Do you know me? Of course.”

The rest of the boys didn’t seem to mind that much as their attention was on the TV screen. A game of Mario Kart was being played. “Oh my God Erick, you really suck at this game!” Richard exclaimed as he made a sharp turn. “Ay cállate! I’m trying my best!” Erick laughed as his character bumped into Zabdiel’s. “Hey hey hey! Ten cuidado - me voy a caer!”

Christopher laughed, stood up and put her jacket on. “Vamanos.” He mentioned over to the door and started walking. “Ayo! When you guys are out, do you think you can bring back some food?” Richard asked as he passed the finish line, coming in 3rd place. “Sure thing. Any requests?” Chris asked as Richard shook his head. “I’m not picky.” We walked out the door and made our way towards his car.

“So, where do you feel like going?” He asked me as he started his car up. “No where in particular. Maybe we can just go out for a drive and we’ll see.” He nodded his head as we left.

“How have things been going with that girl you’ve been seeing?” He asked. “(Y/N)? It’s okay right now, she couldn’t go out today so..”

“Oh, I see.” He chuckled. “I’m your back up plan.”

“What? No, I – I didn’t mean..” He laughed and shook his head. “Dude, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” My face turned a bit red from embarrassment. “What’s she like?” His question caught me off guard. “What?”

“I’m sorry, but ever since I found out about her, I’ve just been curious of who she is.” He smiled. “Uh.. well.. I don’t know much about her yet, but I know she’s very sweet and really funny.” I said as I thought back to our text messages earlier. “One of her favorite drinks of Café de Olla, she wants to travel but her job doesn’t pay much so she hasn’t been able to go out in a while.”

“Where does she work?” He stopped at a red light and waited for me to continue. “At a HomeGoods somewhere around here. I bumped into her one day when I was there buying my stuff I needed.” I talked about her for a few minutes more, stating the facts that she’s told me on our coffee date a few days ago as realization now settled into my brain of how much I actually know about her. I guess playing 20 questions paid off for this specific moment.

“She sounds like a nice girl.” He smiled as he drove up to a Popeyes drive-thru. “Yeah, she is..” I guess I must have been paying attention to her more than I thought. Christopher started to order the food while I looked down at my phone. Maybe I just felt bad about doing this that I thought the least I could do was listen to some of her stories. Yeah, maybe that’s it.

He drove up to the next window, paid with his card and grabbed the food they handed him. “Have a good one.” Christopher smiled at the lady as she returned his smile. “You too.” He handed me the bags as the smell of chicken filled the air in his car.

“I wonder if Erick finally won a round of Mario Kart.” Christopher laughed as he started driving off. “Probably not, but I guess we’ll see when we get home.” I chuckled and looked out the window.

“Hey, Joel?” I turned to look over at him. “Yeah?”

“About (Y/N)… I’m actually really happy for you, bro. You know, to be in the puppy love stage in the beginning of a relationship is the best because everything feels new to the both of you.” He stated. “I’m happy that you found someone. I hope I get to meet her one day.” He smiled. “Yeah, I uh.. I guess we’ll just see.” I’m sorry, Chris, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen… I have to remind myself that she’s not the one I want. There’s someone else…

Next Chapter

#cnco #cnco imagines #joel pimentel imagine #joel pimentel #I HOPE I DELIEVERED #I HOPE THIS ISNT SHIT LMAOOOO #cnco fic #Joel Pimentel fic #christopher velez imagine

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #263

laptop is still broken, nvm. :’)

Do you have a favorite song by The Cure? "Sweet Soul Sister." (': Are there things you've never told for fear that others would judge you? Yep. Can sex ever be casual? I personally don't support it, but ultimately, so long it's consensual, protected, and both parties understand what's going on, you do you. Would you like to go on television to receive a make-over? Not on TV, no. It'd be awesome to see myself after a professional makeup, but I ain't going on TV to show my ugly face. What will no one ever see you do? Smoking. Are you quick to anger? Rarely. Are you slow to forgive? Not really. Usually. What do you need help with? Being an adult, lmao. Do you take the easy way out of things? More often than I'd like... What is your favorite fabric to wear? *shrugs* I don't pay attention to the fabric I wear, really. Do you still make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? C'mon dude, you've got to! I don't believe in wishes increasing your odds of anything, but it's a must anyway! Do you look for four leaf clovers? Just casually when I'm walking or sitting outside. What are you the guardian of? My pets! Are you for or against censoring child pornography? I've seen many stupid questions in surveys. But this is the absolute dumbest. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are naked child images in paintings more acceptable than photographs of naked children? GENERALLY, yes, but it really depends on the artistic portrayal. None should be sexualized. Now that we can create such lifelike digital images, do you think it should be allowed for digital child pornography to exist (as in there were no children involved in the porn, it is all digitally made, the kids aren't real, they just look real)? Absofuckinglutely not. The concept is absolutely repulsive. Enough with these fucking questions. Do you like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy better? Wheel of Fortune, ig. Jeopardy is pretty boring to me. What is your favorite tarot deck? I don’t know enough about tarots to comment. How do you feel about Wicca and Paganism? IT'S SUPER SUPER INTERESTING AND COOL AND I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT IT!!!! I relate most to Neo-Paganism anyway, so I obviously don't mind them. Wicca especially is a very, very misconstrued religion that has just been horribly abused by the media. Do you believe that people who practise the above religions are able to accomplish magic? No, I don't. If you were given the opportunity to lead a creative writing program for a small group of students in a high school with a low budget in generally poor neighborhood, would you do it? No, but only because I could never been a teacher. Sounds fun otherwise. Should high school cafeterias stop serving twinkies and other fatty foods? BIIIIITCH whose HS sells Twinkies????? I need to know?????? Anyway, no, but I believe there must be mostly actually nutritional options. Let kids have the chance to have a little snack during a boring 'ole school day. What band is so romantic that anyone who listens to them must be romantic at heart? BOY Josh Groban. Have your gods and idols let you down? The Christian god did. What do you waste? Whew... time... time. When was the last time that you were neither going to school or working for a month or more? Currently. Ugh. What is your light at the end of the tunnel? The potential of a beautiful future. Speaking of the light, is the light that people see when they die the random firing of electrons or is it something more? Good question. I lean towards it being a natural phenomenon as everything shuts down, BUT I find the reincarnation/birth canal theory to be quite interesting. I don't really believe it, but hey, who the hell am I to decide if it is or not. If you were going to have a mural painted in your bed room what would you want it to be of? A scene of meerkats probably. Is sex more about fulfilling a need or giving yourself? Giving yourself. Do you like your belly? FUCK NO. Do you think more or act more? Think, sadly. Should there be a mandatory retirement age? Of course not. You work all you want boo. What's the craziest thing you've ever done on impulse that worked out well? This is gonna sound... very bad, but my suicide attempt. It made things abundantly clear I needed serious help. It led to my partial hospitalization program. Do you have any exercise tapes or DVDs? No but OH MY GOD this made me remember my lil sister used to a Barbie one that we followed lmaoooo. Does the sound of crickets bother you? No, I quite enjoy it actually. Is the sound of a fan on at night soothing? Yessss. How do you feel you will likely die? I really don't know, but probably cancer-related. Recent events have made it abundantly clear it does in fact run in our family, and genetic testing because of Mom's cancer revealed that at least through her, my sisters and I are susceptible to pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer. Once this virus passes over, we're all getting tested for free to get an understanding of what hell Dad gave us lmao. Have you ever been slapped in the face? No. How about punched? Yeesh, no. That was something unique about you as a child? I was CRAZY about dinos for the average little girl. Have you ever come up with a memorable quote? Not really. What is something interesting about where you live? The town is like, really, really old. Downtown looks right out of an old movie. Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. If you’ve lost your virginity, what was your first time like? I don't remember it because it didn't really register what we were doing was sex. I still don't know today if you could call it sex since it was really dry humping through thin clothes, but it sounds close enough. What do you think about masturbation? You do you boo. Is it sometimes better than the real thing? I don't think so, though I only had a brief episode where I did it when I was put on a new birth control that made my hormones like so, so far beyond control. I stopped that shit sooo fast. I got almost nothing out of it, honestly. Intimacy is a two-person job for me. Who do you think about most? Jason, whether I want to or not. Favorite way to pamper yourself? Go to bed early lol. What's your most expensive piece of clothing? I don't have a clue. I don't really have expensive stuff. What was your last big achievement? Ugh... I'm not the person to ask. I haven't made any big ones even semi-recently. Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? Oh sure. The first time that comes to mind was when I thought Venus was dying once when she had a series of horrible coughing/gagging fits a long time ago. We took her to the vet with the risk of a respiratory infection, but she was clear, thankfully. I think she had early signs, though. Do you know how to ride a bike? Ye. If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? Mom of course, and it'd be nice if Sara was there if she was at all capable of that, but I'm fine w/ just Mom. If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? Well, I wouldn't, but probably "stop" bc that applies to a lot in my life, lmao. Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? I don't think so? When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? Usually just a good 'ole pb&j. :') What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? Take care of your goddamn relationship. Talk shit out instead of yelling. Work together. Never neglect the reason you're with each other. Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? No, because I don't believe in karma. If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? Those with the biggest ecological impact, like bees and spiders, for example. I wouldn't be very happy with all my choices while all other animals perished, but you've gotta think of what comes next. Out of just selfishness I'd obviously have to spare a spot for meerkats, aha. They'd help with the bug control, though! I don't know about the other four, though; I'd have to think real hard on 'em. What is something your parents love that you actually love too? Classic rock and metal. Has anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back? I firmly remember this is how I ended that childish shit with Joel. He said it and I couldn't. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? Jason. What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? Fear, of course. No one likes being afraid. I'm not all that in touch with greed at all. Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? I don’t mind 'em. Sometimes they're super-duper cute. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't trust strangers for shit. If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go-to place to look? I don't really "look" anywhere. What book have you read multiple times? I lost count of how many times I've read Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Granted, in subsequent reads, I would skip over the HUGE tangent chunks that were entirely unrelated to meerkats. I seriously remember one long-ass section was like a goddamn essay on why smaller animals tend to have unnaturally large testicles like I don't fucking care talk about Flower again. I think I only decided to read it in full two times, but maybe not even that. Do you keep a budget? I don't have the income to do so. Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? No, never test-drove anything. What do you have a hard time visualizing? There's a number of things, but this one thing is weird shit: I can't picture my old therapist. Even when I saw her every month, I could almost NEVER visualize her in my head. She's a fucking cryptid or something, paranormal shenanigans is going on here. She's the only person I know where I have that problem. What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? I worry I'll make myself look stupid in front of everyone. What was your worst date ever? I don't feel like I've really had a bad one. I've had one that did nooooot go according to plan and I know the average girl would've been annoyed, but I'm actually an understanding human being who found the adventure fun in the end. Basically a flat tire, a sketchy tire place, and a lot of walking happened lmao. Tyler felt fucking awful, felt bad for him. Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? HAHA yeah, though it was technically Mom, but she had me keep an eye on it. I remember Parasite Eve took some battling to get. I think maybe a Legend of Spyro game, too? Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? So long it's not literally insane or stupid, usually. It really does depend. What did you think was stupid until you tried it? Hm. I'm not sure. What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? Religion. I keep most of my beliefs to myself now. Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? Honestly, I don't want to ponder and picture this. What is your favorite type of seafood? I only like shrimp. What triggers your inner shopaholic? HA, do tattoos count? See cool ones, and then I'm planning (more than only always...) tons of new ones I want and will just be DYING (ALSO more than always lakdjfwe) to go to the parlor. What public figure do you disagree with the most? I really can't say considering I'm just not educated enough here. What is your opinion on rats as pets? They are absolutely wonderful! Smart, sweet, and very clean despite their stigma. I've had quite a few. What is something you're afraid to try? Sky diving, the Tower of Terror ride. ;___; That kinda stuff. What song makes you dance uncontrollably? None. Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? Cheese is all I really need for nachos. Do you have any subscriptions? Yes, to Adobe Creative Cloud. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario games are cute, Sonic's make me cringe - I've watched enough Game Grumps to know lmao. I hate hate hate cringe culture, like let people enjoy whatever, but I absolutely cannot stop my cringe reaction to some shit. I don't judge the people that enjoy whatever it is, though. THAT pisses me off. Who is the most creative person you know? I've known Sara and Connie much too long to not say them. They have such vast imaginations. Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? I've actually never tried anything pickled, I think... no wait. Aren't jalapenos? Well there, jalapenos. What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? I had my normal therapy sessions in the mental hospital lmfao. It's unfortunate, but I do have fond memories of the day. Everyone was so damn sweet, and the friend I made there even got in touch with one of the lunch ladies, who literally went to go buy me a slice of cake. She and the other employees in the kitchen brought it out at dinner, and everyone sang happy birthday. I think I remember tearing up just because it was so goddamn sweet, but also bittersweet in that I was in a fucking mental institution for my BIGGEST birthday. When I got out, Colleen bought me a red velvet cake to "make up for it," ha ha. I miss her every now and then alsdkjf;wae. Are you a role model for anyone in your life? Oh, I doubt it. Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? I don't need to go any fucking slower in my life. Can you impersonate anyone famous? I don't believe so. Never really tried anyone. What is your favorite salty snack? Spicy Cheetos mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden for sit-down, Sonic for fast food. Have you ever been in a play for school? In elementary school. I never had a big roll, though. Do you wish you had more friends? Very much. What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? Aunt Lydia. Which famous author would you like to meet? I'm not particularly interested in any. Which artist would you like to meet? Hey hey hey. Mark's brother is a comic artist. Meet him, one step closer to meeting God Himself. (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง Which singer would you like to meet? OZZY sobs What celebrity do you have a crush on? Anyone who's even heard about a hint of my Markiplier obsession knows I would fuck him into oblivion. When you were in middle school, were you in love with someone you never talked to? No, I didn't romantically love anyone. Do you believe that there is an unseen spirit realm? I do. Martini, margarita, or sangria? YO STOP I'm weak with these things. I can't pick. Do you feel you are extremely gifted but no one appreciates you? No. I honestly feel like people have more faith in what I'm capable of than deserved. What Lisa Frank character is your favourite? The angel cat, probably. Or tiger. Do you know how to use Braille? No. When you use stairs, do you usually hold the rail? Currently, I have to because of my muscle atrophy. I need help to stay steady. Have you ever worn a veil? No. Have you ever planted a tree? We actually did plant an apple tree in our front yard at my childhood home. Never grew much. Have you ever made anything with clay? A number of things from art classes. Has today been a good day? No, honestly. Have you ever fed a horse hay? Yes. Are you more likely to text "Okay", "OK" or just "K"? "'Okay.' The other two are restricted for when I am in a mood and want someone to know I am in a mood." <<<< HA HA SAME. Do you like the taste of lime? Sure. Have you ever seen a mime (in real life)? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen a deer (in real life)? Plenty of times; whitetails are common here. Right now, what can you hear? "Game Over" by Falling In Reverse. Have you ever seen a bear (in real life)? In the zoo, yes. I think there's a possibility I have in the wild, but only from a distance? Have you ever eaten glue? No. Do you tend to buy clothes used or new? New. If you have Netflix, how many items are in your queue? N/A

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