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liesfallaciesfabrications · 3 years

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Mr. Queen Analysis

My take on the rather heartbreaking and vague ending of the KDrama, Mr. Queen.

Okay, I’ve been thinking long and hard on this subject (way too much) and have come to the following consensus:

Bong-Hwan and So Yong are both versions of the same soul. What got me thinking about this was that scene in episode 5 where SoBong talks about original and past lives but then mentions parallel time-streams. To illustrate, she draws two lines running side by side and explains how a past life can be in one and the original/current being in the other. This had me stumped a bit, and I thought it a bit random that they put that in there, but then I looked up “reincarnation and parallel lives” and there’s a surprising number of articles on it - though obviously not conclusive or scientific as it involves spirituality.

Episode 5 also explains why time in the present is flowing at the same rate as the past, which we discovered when BH’s consciousness briefly reentered his body and explain why they chose to reveal that fact. Time isn’t linear here but more fluid with both versions existing simultaneously - harkening back to the two lines Mr. Queen drew to illustrate.

The reincarnation theory would explain many of the elements of the story that I found hard to accept. For example:

If So Yong’s separate soul was in there with Bong Hwan’s soul then why did he never feel her? In fact, the show repeatedly makes reference to the idea that Bong Hwan does not feel another soul and attributes characteristics of SY to the body (telling her after the kiss that the soul is in control of the body so she ought to behave and in another scene he tries to get her soul to return by addressing the lake - where he believes she is hiding). The only time he accuses her of being a separate entity inside of him is when he wants an excuse for his feelings and reactions to CJ. The “it must have been her that took control. If I knew it was CJ I would have....still enjoyed it?!? What’s wrong with me?” moments. LOL What if the reason he couldn’t feel another presence was because there wasn’t another? He merely had his consciousness wake up in the body of his past life but didn’t realize it.

It would explain the gradual integration of both personalities. For example, when CJ returns the book to Mr. Queen, she never thinks of herself as NOT being the girl from the well as she did when he first confesses his love for her at the lake. As BH spends more time in her previous body, the lines become more blurred not just in memory but also in identity because he IS her. If they were two separate souls, I don’t think she would have that same reaction nor do I see anything to indicate that So Yong “took over” in that moment or any other. Memories were accessed, personality traits were mingling, but we saw SY come out in episode 20...that personality was immediately recognizable. Fantastic acting by SHS - especially as she had me loving the one and hating the other, despite being both.

It would explain why Mr. Queen falls for CJ so hard, despite his initial protests. I never liked the idea of his feelings being manipulated, but I can get on board with the idea that he accepts his feelings for CJ because this is a man that some part of him has always loved - and falls in love with “again” through their shared experiences and journey.

It would also explain the question of why Bong Hwan. What was the connection between this man and So Yong? They are reincarnations of each other. When So Yong was feeling hopeless and needed strength, she pulled upon her stronger version of herself to help her - made possible in that moment when she desperately wanted to give up on life and he desperately wanted to live. She came to him in that pool and appeared to the queen again when she was looking for answers in the lake. This does not give the impression of a soul cruelly imprisoned in her own body against her will.

It would also explain why, when Bong Hwan briefly went back to his body, So Yong did not reappear. She wasn’t being suppressed. She purposefully had her reincarnated self come to give her strength and was not ready at that time to assume her life again. I found her choice of words at Byeong-In’s grave to to be telling. She said he always knew where to find her whenever she was hiding. It’s also why I believe BI didn’t realize Mr. Queen wasn’t SY - for the same reason CJ doesn’t at the end of the drama. These two men, both of whom deeply love her, could sense it was her, just in reverse order. CJ-SB-SY and BI-SY-SB.

It would also solve the pesky issue of why BH is an overall better person - not just at the moment of his return but before. Someone on Reddit mentioned the implausibility of CJ’s political accomplishments causing a ripple effect to change BH, and I agree. However, if we look at BH as SY’s reincarnation, then the positive attributes he now displays in the altered timeline can be accounted for because he prevented his previous incarnation from killing herself, therefore in his next lifetime his soul didn’t carry those grudges. This fits with the idea of reincarnation as a person’s life experiences and emotions/grudges/regrets/mindset at death will determine the psychological and even physical manifestation of their next life.

SY was told by evil Kim that she had no power b/c she was a woman - next life is a man.

SY had her love cruelly rejected - next life is a playboy who doesn’t seem to believe in love.

SY felt that she was living a lie - next life is a man who doesn’t care who he offends with his opinion and does what he wants when he wants - to the point of selfishness - though this changes when he prevents many of these resentments by his actions in the past.

Finally, it would explain why CJ is so “oblivious” at end of the show. He promised when he returned the book to SB that he would never fail to recognize her, and he doesn’t. While her personality has changed, it’s intrinsically also the same person, though this is the area I felt the writers dropped the ball in execution, but I get that they were pressed for time. The implications of this aspect also seem to be what KJH meant in his comment to a fan’s question of whether the king knew that BH had left.That it didn’t matter: SY or BH didn’t matter, only how CJ saw her.

So why send BH back? I believe they did it because it wouldn't make sense for him to live a life he essentially already lived as SY. Reincarnation is meant to be for a soul to grow and spiritually evolve, which it could not do by simply repeating what it had already done. Also, for some reason (I suspect so as not to offend Koreans by skipping over one of the most prominent historical figures in their culture - Queen Min), they still have CJ dying at age 32. This can be seen in the book BH is looking at when he's seeing his portrait, and is mentioned as early as episode 1. This was never going to be a happy ending for CJ/BH in the sense that many viewers wanted. Rather, he was going to facilitate the relationship of SY/CJ so that his previous life could run its course...ugh, I feel sick typing that out...with the hope that they meet again in another lifetime. Our SB is many things but trapped in Joseon without modern medicine, a miracle worker she is not. CJ dies without any heirs; his baby with the queen dies at just six months. If the BH decided to stay for love and then lost the baby and CJ, that would be just as heartbreaking for me as the ending I received.

Wiki and other sources speculate the CJ was poisoned by the Andong Kims, but many historians (including Bong Hwan’s mother, it seems) dispute that fact as it would serve no purpose since he was a puppet king and since his death then allowed the Jo family to briefly take control until King Gojong’s father pretty much crushed both the Kims and the Jos. In reality, he probably died of unhealthy habits and a life of excess. In the show’s world, who knows...cancer or any number of possible illnesses that could not be treated at that time. During the banquet planning, we see CJ suffer a nosebleed. In the spinoff, Mr. Queen mentions how CJ is trying hard not to collapse from the strain of his burdens. These could be hints left by writers to indicate that CJ’s health has been compromised by the grueling struggles and stress he’s had to endure, not to mention allowing himself to get blown up.

They writers did give us the hope for another reunion - perhaps in BH’s lifetime or perhaps another one. It’s why I think they tried to imply a SY/CJ connection in the Bamboo Forest prequel (the only prequel in the spinoff) as well as end Bamboo Forest with a reincarnation wish. The setup seemed quite intentional and in specific order. The prequel created a sense of destiny. The next segment was about Mr. Queen confirming if it was just his body or his soul that was attracted to CJ...literally the words out of the character’s mouth...and they gave an answer to that with the last shot. The final segment introduced the wish for CJ to meet his queen again, and he is clearly thinking of Mr. Queen - so why the prequel, which would seem to introduce a separate love interest, unless it’s actually not because they’re one and the same with the middle segment emphasizing the genuine attraction and love for each other.

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea; it certainly wasn’t mine, and I think the writers should have handled the leaving better instead of going for an quasi mind-wipe of all the characters’ remembrances of Mr. Queen. I mean, CJ went from being horrified at Mr. Queen acting like a perfect little queen for a few seconds a mere handful of episodes ago to just asking "why the formality" at a more permanent display of temperament and seemed practically oblivious otherwise. Then Choi and Yeon were "shocked" when So Yong didn't revert to her witch of the palace act and chastise the maids that were laughing by the pond - as if Mr. Queen didn't already change that way of thinking months ago. Not to mention that they were also nonplussed by the fact that their relationship to the queen had gone from being regarded as family back to a servant/master status quo. Even with the soulmate angle, there was to much deus ex machina thrown in. The idea of soul mates is a romantic one, but the execution of it fell through.

They should have never gone with the reincarnation route, especially if they were never intending to let SY have a true voice in the drama, even if it’s just a final conversation between herself and BH before he leaves, made possible in that split second before true separation. Viewers never got to bond with her, and in those moments we did see her, she was either a watered down version of the personality we were emotionally invested in or emphasized the opposite characteristics (demure, feminine, etc...) that we loved Mr. Queen for rejecting. Also, this angle gives us no true feeling of completeness and satisfaction. SY is with CJ in the past - we won't see them develop their feelings for each other and grow to like them as a couple. BH is in the present but who knows if he'll find CJ's reborn soul and happiness with whoever it is. Promises without fulfillment demand too much from the audience to fill in the blanks. If that's the case, next time just give us a tag line and tell the audience to imagine the rest.

Even if they share the same soul, we are given two distinct personalities and not enough connection between them in terms of their recognizing each other, acknowledging their feelings for CJ to each other in some sort of passing the flame moment that would make it feel more homogeneous and prevent feelings of resentment at what we perceive as an injustice to a personality we adore.

Instead of creating an emotional divide between the two, they should have just have SY die before BH's soul enters, and develop the romance between CJ and HB's as the novel and even that cheap and campy Chinese version did. Having SY there just muddied the waters, and became a distraction and an excuse for every emotional milestone Mr. Queen experienced, negating that character's development and laying it at SY's feet or claims of deliberate interference.

They should have chosen a fictional king and not boxed themselves into a limited outcome. Granted, it gave them a valid reason for booting BH back to present times, but look at the result: limited number of years with someone the audience isn't really familiar with for our beloved ML (plus their baby dies) and a huge question mark for our F-turned back into ML in the present with the hope that maybe the reincarnation thing works in his favor but who knows because they couldn't even toss us that small crumb which would have alleviated some of our heartache for BH as well as give more credence to the fact that SY/BH are the same and thereby lessened the feelings of resentment to the SY character as well. Or they could have gone with a multiverse theory and left it wide open as to what sweeping changes would occur. BH being initially thrown back to the Joseon era as a result of his dying would have achieved that because then the audience would have no reason to revisit the present nor see that the worlds were linked via changes upon his return and stuck with the poisoning threat averted. Blow recorded history to smithereens and leave that to our imagination instead.

Yes, the fish-out-of-water hijinks were great fun, but the completion of the character arcs/relationship/etc...shouldn’t be an afterthought.

The other element I would have liked to have seen that was in neither of the televised versions (though the Chinese one came very, very close) but was in the web novel is the king fully accepting that his wife is not the woman she was, believing that her previous body was a man, falling in love regardless and she with him. However, I think we all knew that wasn’t going to happen in a kdrama.

#MrQueen #MrQueenep20 #MrQueenexplained #mrqueenfinale

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nikkywrites · 3 years

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Decision (Jo pt. 2)

Summary: Jo goes to the funeral. It goes like she expected it to. She makes a decision in her grief.

Part One

Prompt: open casket by @writing-challenges-and-prompts

Warnings for a funeral, death mention, a dead body and a gore description, cursing, grief, passing out due to panic, overwhelming grief, and questionable decisions made about future while in the midst of said grief). This one has been edited. Not hugely so, but a few things have been tweaked.

*****

They bury him in an open casket and it’s the most horrifying thing Jo has ever seen.

His lifeless body isn’t a new sight, of course, she’s the one who found him, but it’s sick how they’re putting it up on display like there’s something beautiful in the horror of it.

There isn’t.

He used to be pretty enough to be displayed, but now he’s a sick caricature of what a human is. He’s not pretty enough to be admired anymore, even if a part of her still tries.

His veins bulge, blue and black and thick. She physically recoils when she sees the lifted lid, the ghost of the boy she loves held within like a piece of art on display. Like a statue of a hero. Carved marble instead of rotted flesh.

If he is art right now then he’s only a horrid, despicable piece fit only for the abandoned ruins of a cursed castle. Nothing else, more or less.

His face is ashen, lips faded so they no longer hold color, no longer share the shade of a half-bloomed rose petal. His hair -- once golden, once shiny, once beautiful and thick -- lays limp like a slain snake against his forehead, covering the scar she’d placed there when she was eight and threw a rock too hard with poor aim in a game they made up. He’s dressed in the finest clothes he’s ever been in, simple plain casual wear freshly sewn and unsoiled except by his body.

Behind the obvious signs of his death -- the rot on his tongue, his veins, his rigid fingers and yellow, shattered fingernails, the way his mouth is held half-open like an undeclared secret (one she knows well, he always promised his last words would be of his love to her and she heard the way he choked on them) -- he’s almost pretty. She hates -- loathes, fire under her skin, that it’s been turned into an ‘almost’ instead of a given.

Even when poor, deprived of sleep and beneath layers of dirt and dust, hair browned with filth, he was pretty to her.

She used to think that nothing could sully his beauty.

Now she knows better. Now, with death upon him in such a visual way, she knows otherwise. Pretty, to her in regards to him, means alive. Breathing. He’s not and she can’t bring herself to find beauty in his corpse and the horror of his final moments she will never be rid of.

Her mother jabs her with an elbow to lead her to her place to kneel, the dirt soft and swallowing under her. Her mother tears her eyes from the boy she’ll never marry, glued to his form like -- well, like it is the last time she will ever see him. She does so in cold callousness.

She’s acting as though this is just an act they must play, another scene in some tragedy where the only reward is more grief.

The preacher recites some long-winded, pretty, shining speech about sacrifice and honor and bravery. Jo drones it out and stares at her hands clenches in the folds of her skirt, fighting a useless fight against her own grief and the lack of other’s. She curses how they gloss over the humility of his selflessness -- he’d given himself to people who didn’t care about him until he was dead and a threat was slain.

Her sobs are the only ones that tremble against the drowning silence of the preacher’s speech and everyone else’s obedience to play their part.

Her own mother, beside her, sits demurely with her eyes closed and her hands folded, like he was merely a boy she used to pass on her way to the shops that she never spoke a word to but saw everyday and not her future son-in-law. She too, the only other person who had spared him kindness and pity, does not truly mourn him.

It just makes her grieve all the more.

Jo stays kneeling as long as she can, tears drying under her stubbornness, damned back until later, when she can release them in peace, in the mindless comfort of the forest. (His battleground, where his last breath had shuddered, warm on her neck but wrong, where his soul had dropped from his body like a glob of half cold porridge; the last place he was pretty and living and loving. The last place where he was hers).

She flinches when his casket is closed and he’s lowered into the ground. They nail him shut right there and every smack of the hammer is a blow to her heart.

She stares unseeingly as they begin to pile shovelfuls of dirt over him like he’s a sapling about to grow into more, but he’s not. This is an end, not a beginning, though she wishes it was. She wishes that this was just a new beginning, him succumbing to her pleas, a rebirth of him and her and their love. A fresh start that continues with their hands linked together, a city before them promising peace, but it’s just an epilogue, a mere footnote of despair to the hundred-odd people living here.

Nothing is ever as she wishes and hopes.

If he’d listened, he wouldn’t have been here when the Drowned showed up and maybe he’d still be breathing right now. But that was something she wished for. Something she hoped would happen. His stubborn streak was as thick as hers, though, and he’d ended up winning that battle.

She wonders if this is the price of her losing.

She stays after everyone else leaves, no one asking her to say a eulogy, to paint him as he truly was, not caring that she was his closest companion and that she should have been the one leading all of this. They leave her to her silence, shrouded over her like the dirt now covering him. Six feet of distance no one will ever cross.

They’re content with him being a caricature of heroism and not someone they knew who used to be as alive as they are now.

The buriers leave, stamping their boots into the dirt like a seal of his newfound deadness, the Reaper’s signature on his warrant, pearly gates clicking shut behind him. They eye her oddly, but let her continue to kneel. It isn’t their business.

It’s the end. Finally.

It’s her last chance to speak to the lingering life in his ghost, the air of people’s false care hovering in their relief about not having to worry about being dead or losing crops to poisoned algae in their rivers.

She crawls forwards and slumps her forehead against his headstone, biting cold.

“You,” her words shake, her sorrow returning in her solitude, hand fisting at the dirt beneath her, freshly buried, freshly moved and loose, “you lied to me.”

There’s a moment of silence where she waits for his rebuttal, useless, but it also serves to allow her a moment to steady her breath. Or, to try and to fail.

“You promised.” She bites her lower lip and struggles to keep her words decipherable. “You promised you’d come back. You promised we would get married.”

Her tears slide, damping the dirt staining her skin. It’s her version of the bloomed rose that people are supposed to throw in with their lovers, but there are no such flowers in this season and she wouldn’t have had the chance or spare coin to, so her tears will have to do. She hopes he can hear her, if nothing else.

If ghosts truly do not exist and he cannot remain to haunt her, to stay by her side even in death, she hopes he can stay long enough to hear her out.

She blinks and lifts her eyes to gaze at the neatly etched lettering on the stone. His name, his dates, the word ‘Hero’ that was going to wash away after a decade of miscare.

She wasn’t going to stick around to tend to his grave like she wishes she could have tended to him.

No, she already knows what she has to do.

It just… has to wait. For her to finish her goodbyes (she never wants to, wants to keep words rolling off her tongue like if she says the exact right thing, he’ll rise from the earth like a phoenix from the ash). For her sorrow to fade away and for her to temper herself into something stronger.

She balls her fist and strikes against the stupid four letter word that’s true, but that no one but her really cares about.

“I love you,” she hisses, too afraid to spew the misplaced hate in case he can hear her (she hates the situation, hates the town, hates the townspeople, but not him. She could never hate him). “I loved you and you had to go and...” her words wobble, “...and be a fucking hero when you knew--” she pinches her eyes shut, chokes on her own tears, fights to finish, “you knew you weren’t going to come back because-- you didn’t have the sword or the help or the coin or the armor or, anything, to keep you safe enough that you’d come back.”

Her vison blurs, a senseless swirl of brown and gray.

“You had nothing and you knew that, didn’t you? You knew you that that was going to be the end and you still...” she hits the stone again, knuckles throbbing with her frustration. “You left me. Like you promised you wouldn’t.”

Her grief rises higher, a mountain at her back, sitting on her throat and strangling the words she’s killing herself with to turn to the air.

“You kissed me and promised that you’d come back when you knew.”

Her throat seems to shatter, breaking, as she relinquishes to the weight. The sky presses against her, the world oppressing her with its unfairness and its scrutiny.

It knows and she knows and there’s a terrible, terrible secret she must now take to her own grave.

She— she had let him wander alone. She’d let him delude her with his worry for her and she let him walk into his death and promise her things she knew he wouldn’t keep (his chances were none, unless he gave up and ran and he wouldn’t do that, not if he had the chance and the thing was still living).

She let this happen.

Everything’s crashing around her, hyperventilation darkening her vision and stealing away her awareness. Allowing her a brief reprieve from her own grief.

She could have helped. She’s not useless in a fight even though she should be. She could have tried, but instead she’d spent every minute on her knees praying and she’d offered herself to gods that gave her nothing.

She had to leave before her own emotions swallowed her whole.

While she was gone, she was going to have to make something of herself. Make living without that part of her heart worth it. Fall into the backup plan she never should have planned anything on.

She tried to convince him to move to Numir. It was a good stepping stone for anything. To get a man out of poverty. To turn a demure girl into a weapon.

Whatever the need was.

He died to save her. He died fighting a monster for people who didn’t care whether he sullied around the streets or rotted in their fields. She can think of nothing more fitting, more binding, than living in the way he failed to. A way that a part of her has always itched for, despite the scandal of it.

Consciousness slipping under the grief cinched around her heart, she vows to become like him so she doesn’t have to really grieve him. So she can’t lose him. So she doesn’t have to feel so alone in the drag of days.

She’ll do everything he couldn’t. Become what she’d hoped he would -- a savior. Someone worth the gold in their pocket. Someone who was worth all the air they breathed. Someone who was living and rich enough to purchase a wedding ring and spend forever with the one they loved, who breathed enough to be able to return home and warm the bed their partner leaves cold out of worry-induced insomnia.

The last part is lost -- he’s dead and there will not be another -- but she can live the former. She’ll live it or die trying and they’ll be the same, be reunited, together as ghosts.

Either way suits her. As long as she’s settled, she could care less what her day looks like. She can adapt.

She can live.

*****

Remember when I first posted this as a standalone thing? Those were good times. This is no longer a standalone thing. Also realized in the editing of this that I never specified how Jo prefers to go by Jo instead of Joanna. It just swaps here. I meant to put something in about that. Curse my forgetful brain.

#writeblr #writing #writblr #creative writing #angst #nikkywritesstories #my writing #repost from my old blog #oc jo #joanna #tw funeral #tw dead body #tw death mention #funeral

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megalony · 5 years

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Let me love you- Part 4

Here is the fourth part of my slow-burn Roger Taylor series which I hope you are all enjoying. This part more focuses on Roger and his relationship with Jo.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @rogahs-drowse

Summary: (Y/n), Brian’s younger sister, finds herself falling for Roger but he has a thing going on with someone he used to date. There is something off about his relationship with his ex and (Y/n) realises it isn’t good.

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

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Tipping his head back against the wall, Roger allowed his eyes to fall closed as he pressed his left foot against the brick wall behind him, bending his knee out as if to steady himself.

Dusty pale grey swirls of smoke left his lips in a steady stream, trying to escape and reach for the sun as they grew in size. The circles losing their shape as they expanded and started to evaporate like separating the fumes caused them to die down. There was something about the smoke and the way it evaporated into nothing that caught Roger's attention. He liked watching the smoke turn into nothing, to see it try and soar and reach for the sky only to disappear not even halfway to its destination.

The half-burnt cigarette clasped between his fingers was pressed back between his pale lips as he closed his eyes. Roger didn't really understand smoking even though it was a habit he had picked up years ago.

Roger could see the appeal for something to take away the anxiety or stress or just help you drift away. But to simply inhale fumes that were potentially and most certainly damaging seemed pointless. It seemed wrong to simply set something alight and then intake the smoke that it gave off before releasing it back into the atmosphere again.

And yet here he was doing a very strange habit that was deemed normal in society. Maybe it was the nicotine that simply made it addictive to intake the fumes rather than the actual act of smoking. Whatever it was, it was most certainly letting Roger's mind drift off for the time being.

Roger didn't particularly like smoking in the studio, he hated to see all the smoke circling around them like it was trying to entrap them or distort their vision. He also hated how the smell hung in the air and clung to everyone's clothing until it was all he could think about. Smoking outside was easier because the smell and taste only lingered on his lips rather than all of his clothing and in his hair and all around him. It also gave him an excuse to leave the studio for ten minutes and stay outside for a while.

With a sigh, Roger looked to his watch before he stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray resting to his left that was simply littered with cigarette buds no one had bothered to tip into the bin yet.

It was about time he headed back inside before someone came looking for him.

"Got a light?"

A tender but tired smile pulled at Roger's lips when his head turned to see Jo walking over to him with a cigarette now clasped between her lips. He watched her pat down her pockets before holding her empty hands out in a signal that she simply had the cigarette and not a lighter.

She leaned her side against the wall so she was facing him, her lips curving into a smile around the end of the cigarette when she watched Roger flick the lime green lighter to life. Igniting the end of the bad habit she was going to smoke before he stuffed the lighter back into his pocket.

"Can't you stay for five minutes?" There was something oddly patronising or edgy about the tone she used with her words when she noticed Roger look down to the watch on his wrist. He had been out here for ten minutes already, he didn't think it was quite fair to hang around out here for much longer when the boys were still inside trying to work on their latest song. But then again, Jo had only just come out on a break since she was photographing them and doing small recordings of the band in the studio.

She hadn't gotten much chance to talk to him all day, he at least owed her a few minutes to talk.

Roger leaned back against the wall as he chided himself for wishing it was (Y/n) out here with him instead of Jo. Roger loved Jo, she was a great friend to him and she helped him in so many ways but her personality was dominating and rather forceful. As much as he loved talking to her and hanging around with her, Roger felt like he could be around her a little too much.

Jo was forceful and she was like vodka to Roger, he loved the drink but he couldn't have too much at a time. Right now he simply wanted to talk to (Y/n) rather than tire himself out with Jo.

"Are you coming out with us tonight?" Roger questioned as he reached his hand out towards her, taking the cigarette from her fingers so he could take a drag. Knowing she wouldn't mind since she often sneaked his own when he lit one.

"Where to?"

The drummer took a moment to breathe out the fumes, his eyes dancing around the sky as he watched the smoke dance in the sky before he handed back the cigarette to Jo. His eyes returning to meet her own as he thought someone had already told her about tonight. It wasn't the usual party the band normally went to, they were simply heading out to a club for a few hours since they were halfway done with the album.

"Just out to a club for a while, fancy it?" His eyes followed her movements as she wrapped her left arm around her waist, resting her right elbow against her hand as she held the cigarette to her painted ruby lips.

Roger could see she didn't even think or consider the offer before she shook her head, instantly dismissing the invitation. It was always hit and miss when inviting Jo somewhere and that wasn't a bad thing, it simply depended on whether she was in the mood or if she wanted to get plastered with the boys or not. Roger could do with her kind of mindset because when he was asked if he wanted to go out for a drink or to a party or a club he simply accepted the offer unless he already had plans. Jo had the ability to turn offers down.

"I don't think I will." Jo spoke kindly with a smile of appreciation for the offer, parties were more her thing and even then she didn't like to stay the whole night. "I thought you guys just went out the other night anyway?"

Her brows rose when Roger shrugged his shoulders, he didn't usually keep track of when they went out he simply knew he had a fun time at a party or he didn't because he didn't allow himself to drink very much.

"Probably."

"Rog, why don't you come to mine tonight instead? You party too much." Jo spoke softly in a tone that showed Roger he should at least consider what she was saying. Her eyes creased at the sides as she bit down on her lower lip, a look that told him she thought he should go with what she was saying. He seemed to party or be out most nights and although it was good he was having the best time he could and he was living his life the way he wanted, he could damage his system. Especially if he drank every night.

"No I don't." Roger dismissed, shaking his head as he reached back for the cigarette to take another drag.

Roger knew how to limit himself at parties, granted it did make him unhappy to see everyone else drinking and him still being within the limit to drive back home or not nearly plastered enough to forget anything about the night. But he still knew how to make sure he didn't drink too much yet still try his best to have a good time.

"Yes you do. I know you, Rog, you can't have a good time unless your legless and that won't do your diabetes any good. What if you take more drugs-"

"You gave me those bloody drugs." Roger scoffed as he let out a small laugh, turning his head away from her as he didn't believe she was trying to use that as an argument against him. Roger wasn't angry with her for giving him the drugs because he had asked for them and she did warn him before she gave them to him. But she couldn't give him those drugs and then later tell him he shouldn't go out in case he decided to have more when she was the one who introduced him to them in the first place.

After his experience with them last week Roger wasn't feeling likely to go and take any more with the way they made him feel.

"Honey I only gave you two pills and look how that ended up." Jo tilted her chin down as she batted her lashes, giving him a certain look that seemed like she was mocking him. "Two little pills and you were sick and passed out in the bathroom. What if you decide you want another high and take even more? What if you get legless? You don't take your insulin with you, how do you expect someone to help you with that if you need it and you don't have it?"

Roger narrowed his eyes as he felt his chest tightening.

He had taken more than two pills that night... hadn't he? He was so sure that when she poured them into his hand she gave him a small handful which was more than just two tablets. He had grimaced when he washed them down with water but surely if he had two he would have taken them no problem?

Maybe he did have two, after all he did simply choke them down without looking or asking or thinking about them. If he had only two small pills of what he guessed was ecstasy then what would he do if someone gave him more than that if he asked for them? What if he asked for some drugs and got a lot more than he bargained for and he didn't look or think like he had clearly done last time?

What would he do if he had more alcohol than simply two bottles of beer and he started to feel ill or sick or suddenly needed his insulin? Roger only took his wallet and keys out with him, he never walked around with his insulin that he normally kept in the car if he went out and he wouldn't normally drive to a party or a club. He could hardly ask someone who was plastered if they would mind giving him his insulin if he needed it.

"Come over to mine, if you need an injection then at least I know what I'm doing and you won't make yourself ill. Or, if you still want something to let you relax... I can keep an eye on you and make sure you're not ill.”

With a sigh, Roger nodded his head as he stubbed out the now blunt cigarette in the ashtray next to Jo. Going back with her tonight seemed like the safer option in case he needed an injection which he most likely would and he couldn't do that himself. She knew what to do and she knew how to help if he had low or high blood sugar and what he should and shouldn't eat.

"Yeah... alright. I need to get back to the boys now, I'll see you in a bit." Roger kissed her cheek before he walked past her to get to the back door leading back into the studio.

Maybe being with Jo tonight was the safer option.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger x reader #roger taylor x oc #imagine #queen band #freddie mercury #Brian May #john deacon #let me love you

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tinalostgirl · 4 years

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A Chance Encounter | Teddie

Who: Tina Cohen-Chang and Freddie Rose ( @freddiexrose )

When: Friday night 8.28

Where: D/s Practice Rooms

What: Freddie catches Tina in the practice rooms. Embarrassment and yelling ensue.

Tina really wasn't paying attention to where she was going. All she knew was that she didn't want to spend another minute in her room cooped up, so she ran out of the sub dorm and kept running until she needed to catch her breath. It was hot outside, so she walked into the closest building, which she recognized as the school building from the outside, but this particular door took her into a hallway she didn't recognize. It brought her to a stairway that brought her down into what looked like it could pass for a dungeon - a hallway with a line of rooms on both sides. When she looked into one, she found someone being fucked in a sex swing. Another one had someone tied to a table while someone else poured wax on them. Tina scrunched her face until her feet brought her to a door all the way at the end of the hallway. Inside a small woman held a crop in her hand. The smaller girl was tied to a wooden X and before she could turn her eyes away, the crop came into contact with her pale skin with a crack. Tina flinched but the girl moaned. How the hell could someone find something like this sexy? It was painful and degrading. The crop made marks on the girl's perfect skin, leaving gorgeous specs of red. Tina took a step forward. Her nails punctured the skin of her palms, but she couldn't look away. The crop hit her again and Tina bit her bottom lip. She girl tried to push her legs together but the restraints stopped her. She whined and Tina remained still. Her eyes remained on the pair as the girl's body was peppered in marks that would certainly turn to bruises. And she couldn't turn away. She was so entranced, she didn't even recognize or hear the person walking up behind her.

Freddie loved the area of the school, it was honestly her absolute favorite part. She loved watching the things that happened here, loved watching the girls that pretended they were all innocent that ran around the school have their real sides brought out here. As she turned onto the hallway her eyes fell on Tina, a girl she'd heard more than a little about in the past. She approached slowly watching the girl curiously, stepping behind her, the other completely oblivious to the fact that she was there. She peaked inside and a grin stretched over her face at what she saw there. She gave a small chuckle, nudging the other with her shoulder before leaning in and whispering. "What do we have here? A little voyeur?" she breathed out, her breath hot against the others kneck. "I thought you hated things like this. You sure don't look like you hate it."

Tina jumped at the voice, nearly knocking the door she was peaking into open. Luckily, the door was left untouched as she clutched her chest and leaned against the wall. "Holy shit," she whispered, staggering back a bit more to ensure the pair inside the practice room didn't see her standing outside. "Are you TRYING to give someone a heart attack?!?!" She asked dramatically. "Do you always go around sneaking up on people like that? It's rude you know." Once Tina regained her composure again, she pushed herself off the wall she was leaning against, recognizing the look in the other person's eye that she had caught Tina, but she wasn't going to give in that easy. "I don't know what you think you saw, but I was just passing through."

"You're awful jumpy for someone that wasn't doing something wrong." she chuckled in amusement, arms crossing over her chest. "Not always. Only when I catch other people sneaking around. Oh yeah? That's funny, sure seems like you were watching pretty intently there Tina." she replied, cocky grin still piainted on her face. "I think you're forgetting something when you address me, don't you? Unless you're just forgetting on purpose so I do that to you." she replied, head nodding back towards the room they'd both just been looking into.

"You'd be jumpy too if people were sneaking up on you in otherwise abandoned hallways." Tina's wall and shield were fully up as the other girl tried to stare her down. She hated the cocky grin on her face and the way it made her eyes shine. She was gorgeous, fucking perfect, it was too bad she was someone who was so into the system, she couldn't go an interaction without requiring a title. Tina scoffed and rolled her eyes. "We've barely even spoken, how the hell am I supposed to know how you want to be addressed?" She wasn't going to fold, she was too strong willed for that. "Just because you have that tattoo on your wrist doesn't mean you get to boss me around. I deserve just as much respect as you do." Tina was seething, but she was more so embarrassed that she was caught. Caught in a compromising situation with little to no explanation. So of course she was going to lash out to cover her tracks.

"I wouldn't get so caught up in watching what was happening in these rooms that I could be snuck on so easily." she shrugged, still regarding the other with amusement. People like Tina made her laugh, girls that acted like they hated the system so much but deep deep down, they'd absolutely love to be used in the way people like Freddied used people. "You could ask for starters. You can start with miss though, I think that'll work for this conversation." she said, voice remaining cool, not even raising as Tina was so obviously fired up, knowing that it would only annoy the other more. "Did I say it did? You're projecting now Tina." she replied, pushing herself off the wall and taking a step closer, towering over the other. "You can admit it, admit that you want to be spanked like a little whore. I won't judge you, no one here will. I just think its pathetic that you act like you don't want it."

"I could start with 'miss' but I don't think I will," Tina knew how stupid those words were as soon as they passed through her lips, but she was not thinking clearly. Completely on the defense with her emotions out of control. The closer Freddie got, the more Tina backed up into the wall until she was completely smashed against it, her feet pushed up to her tiptoes as she tried to square up to the woman invading her space. "You don't know a thing about me or what I want and like. That's just... disgusting. And honestly, I think it's sick that you could think anyone could actually like being beat like that. It's barbaric. It's ridiculous. And maybe YOU should stop projecting on me!" It wasn't until she heard her voice echo in the quiet hallway that she realized she was yelling. Her fists were balled at her sides and she was shaking with anger. What she was really angry about was not something she was ready to deal with, so Freddie was the only reasonable option. Even if the consequences of that pent up anger being directed at the Domme wasn't clear yet. She sat and waited for the consequences that were sure to follow.

She raised an eyebrow at the others words, giving a slow nod as she spoke. "Yeah? You really are living in a fantasy world aren't you Tina? You just gonna keep resisting all of this until you're 30 and end up a slave?" she asks, stepping even closer now, so that she was staring down at the other. "You know what's funny about that? I know someone that seems to particularly like it, at least from what I hear...." she begins, that same amused look still painted on her face. ".... a girl you seem to care about quite a bit. So is she barbaric? Disgusting? Or are you just a hypocrite?" her tone is still calm but the edge is ever so evident, she's starting to get annoyed and it shows. After the others yelling she rolls her eyes. "Is the show over, are you done yet? I'm glad you thought it'd be wise to raise your voice like that, now I definitely have all the excuse I need to punish you."

Tina opened and closed her mouth, trying to calculate a counter attack that would save her face, but her brain was muddled and she couldn't think of anything substantial. Her eyes prickled with frustrated tears, which already made her feel like more of a mess than she already was from this mortifying encounter. She pictured Sylvia and Jo and hated that Freddie had a point. "People can get off however they want. It's the system that forces us to live in this lifestyle that's disgusting." It was this topic that always riled Tina up. She was sure of that part, that this system needed to be taken down. And as much as she found certain aspects alluring, she absolutely couldn't condone any part of a system that she hated so much. Because in the end, that would indeed make her the biggest hypocrite of all. "You act like I care about you and your stupid punishment. Go to the headmasters. I don't care. But I won't consent to anything. You can fuck off for all I care." Then with that Tina moved to storm off, back towards the stairs where she could leave this humiliating experience behind her.

#freddie #para: freddie #para: a chance encounter

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geronimo-11 · 5 years

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Fireworks

@softseeds I meant to post this yesterday, but between homework and work I never got the chance to finish it :( So here’s a birthday themed, belated-birthday present! It’s... longer than I intended. Sorry! Something was seriously wrong with her.

Joanna sat on the step of a park gazebo, the muffled sound of voices carrying over from the building her parents had rented for her sixteenth birthday. The party was in full swing, music and laughter blaring from the open windows. It seemed like everyone was having a good time.

She stared at the building for a moment longer, feeling slightly guilty she’d snuck away when her parents had gone through the effort of putting all of this together for her sake. The event was supposed to be a surprise and her parents had actually managed to hide everything from her. From the decorations, to finding a DJ, to inviting all her friends and family… including Camden Mitchell.

She’d had a crush on him for years. With honey-blonde hair, soft brown eyes, and a kind smile it was impossible not to like him. Well, impossible unless you were Jacob Seed. But Jacob didn’t really like anyone, so she ignored most of his grumblings. She and Camden were on the school debate team together, and had chatted occasionally after meetings, but that was the extent of their interaction. She had thought that the crush was strictly one sided, that there was no way he’d single her out when every girl with a pair of eyes was fawning over him. But apparently he had a crush on her too, because he’d just kissed her behind the DJ booth and it was… wrong.

Heaving a sigh Joanna let herself fall back on the gazebo floor, staring up at the ceiling. She thought briefly on the kiss and frowned. As far as first kisses go, it could have been worse. It wasn’t that Camden was a bad kisser, it just wasn’t what she was expecting. There were no fireworks. And there were supposed to be fireworks.

At least, that’s what every magazine she’d ever read and all of her girl friends had told her. And she trusted their experience over her inexperience. But no, instead of feeling the passionate sparks of a first kiss, all Joanna could focus on was how dry and chapped his lips were, wondering if it would end soon. That’s not the reaction she was supposed to have to her first kiss.

So, the only logical explanation was that something was wrong with her. Seriously wrong. She thought to herself, letting out another frustrated groan, and flinging her arm over her eyes. Because not only had she felt nothing, but when he finally stepped away from her, she’d mumbled a stilted “Thank you,” before shuffling around him and out the back door. There was no way she could go back inside now- she was mortified. Luckily the night had been warmed significantly by the summer heat, because she was going to have to live out here now.

She’d never be able to look Camden in the eye ever again. And she was definitely going to have to quit the debate team, there’s no way she could deal with seeing him there every day. Did he take the same route to school as her? She briefly remembered seeing him on her street one day, but that could have been someone else. Joanna dragged her hands agonizingly over her face, muffling yet another groan as they reached her mouth.

“Too much cake?” Joanna shot upright, embarrassment flaring up the back of her neck when she briefly thought Camden had come to check on her. But her eyes clapped on Jacob’s familiar copper locks and the knot in her stomach relaxed. He walked towards her, hands shoved deep in his pockets and a small smirk on his lips. Joanna forced a smile.

“No. I haven’t eaten yet, actually,” she replied. He arched a brow at her.

“You sick? I’ve never known you to turn down cake,” he asked, leaning against the side of the gazebo when he was close enough. Joanna shook her head, fingers drawing absent patterns on the floor.

“No, I just-” she stopped herself short, blue eyes darting up to meet his. Jacob had never liked Camden, he’d told her multiple times. If she told him about the kiss, and that that was the reason she was out here and not at her birthday party, he’d be pissed. She couldn’t tell him, no matter how badly she wanted to spill her guts.

“I needed some air. It was getting too crowded in there,” she lied coolly. He observed her silently for a moment before moving next to her, jerking his chin to tell her to scoot over. She obliged and he sat next to her, shoulders brushing and sending a familiar wave comfort washing over her at the contact.

“Did you bring John and Joseph?” she asked him, looking around for the younger Seed’s and hoping to quickly change the subject. Jacob nodded, looking over towards the building behind them.

“They’re inside, probably eating more than they ever thought physically possible. Your Mom’s a food pusher,” he told her with a smirk, making her laugh. He wasn’t wrong. The first time he ever came to her house her mother had all but forced a three-course meal on him, and then invited him back for dinner that weekend. Joanna didn’t think he’d come back, but he’d showed up with his brothers in tow, and her mother practically wept with happiness.

“Then I heard the moaning of some dying animal, so I came to put the poor thing out of its misery. But lo and behold,” He looked over at her with a smirk and she rolled her eyes. Jacob laughed, a sharp gust of air through his nose. “I came over here when I saw you. Figured something must have been wrong,” he amended lightly, and she could feel his eyes on her face, gauging her reaction. He knew her too well. Joanna hummed in response, hugging her knees and looking up at the star filled sky.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t feel like having a heat stroke today. It’s hot in there.”

“It’s hot out here,” he countered. He was right, it was hot and the air was thick and sticky with humidity. But then again, they were in Georgia. It’s not like the heat was new. Joanna shrugged, deciding not to answer, looking at the sky once more. They sat that way for a while, looking at the stars and talking. Then Joanna rested her head on Jacob’s shoulder and they were quiet for a while, just sitting in each other’s company.

“I got you something,” he told her suddenly, shifting to reach into his back pocket. Joanna smiled, surprised.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she told him sincerely, to which he only rolled his eyes and gestured for her to hold out her hands. She held them out, palms up, watching curiously as Jacob reached over and let something drop from his closed fist. Joanna gasped softly at the feel of cool metal hitting her skin. He hadn’t bothered wrapping it, whatever it was. Although, she was already shocked that he’d gotten her anything in the first place, so she shouldn’t have been surprised. She looked down as he moved his hand away and her heart skipped a beat.

A silver chain dangled over her fingers, and a small charm almost as big her thumb sat snugly in her palm. A pair of cherries inlaid with two small rubies. It was no secret Joanna had a minor obsession, she had a patch sewn into her denim jacket of two large cherries that she wore proudly, and she lost count of the small trinkets she’d bought that decorated her room. This was the perfect gift.

Joanna passed a finger over the rubies reverently. They were plastic, she could see the hot glue behind them. Altogether the necklace probably hadn’t cost more than five dollars, but she knew how much every penny meant to him. He was trying to save up for a car. To get away from everything. It was hard, though, when his father took almost everything that his son had earned and drank it all away. This may very well have been most of Jacob’s savings that week.

Joanna stared at him, wide eyed. Jacob cleared his throat, watching her apprehensively, his blue eyes shining almost silver in the moonlight.

“I know, it’s not much. But, I saw it and I thought of you, so I just,” he trailed off, waving a hand towards the necklace still dangling between her fingers. She glanced down at the plastic cherries still in her hand and then back at his face, brows furrowed. Jacob shifted, raking his fingers through his hair with a huff, “Shit, Jo, if you don’t want it I’ll just take it back-”

Without a word or second thought Joanna leaned forward, placed her hands on either side of his face, and kissed him. She felt it, then. What her friends and the magazines were talking about.

Fireworks.

They exploded in her stomach, shooting up to make her heart race and her brain go fuzzy. Her blood raced through her veins, sending a pleasant tingling through her body from head to toe like sparklers on the Fourth of July.

Eventually the feeling began to fade, replaced by an overwhelming sense of panic as what she’d just done finally set in, and she realized he wasn’t kissing her back. She pulled away, though she was still close enough that his breath puffed gently against her lips.

“Thank you,” she told him earnestly. Avoiding his gaze Joanna pretended to admire the necklace he’d given her, fiddling with the clasp and tying it around her neck.

“Come on, we should go inside. If my parents find out you’re here and you haven’t eaten they’ll kill me,” she joked, forcing herself to laugh when all she wanted to do was scream and run for the hills. She stood up, still avoiding eye-contact with him, and started walking back towards the party behind them. Her face felt like it was on fire, but her lips tingled pleasantly and she had to bite back a smile.

When he made no move to follow she briefly thought Jacob was going to stay outside, but after another minute of silence she heard his footsteps trailing after her. As she approached the building and opened the door, music blaring into the night, two thoughts crossed her mind:

She may have just crossed a line with her best friend, and she seriously needed to stop thanking people for kissing her.

#oc: joanna rook #my writing #c: jacob seed #softseeds

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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358

In the last year, have you...

Moved: No, I’ve lived in the same house for about a decade. Started a new job: Nope, and I don’t exactly plan to do so until after I graduate. Traveled to another country: Nah, not this year. Traveled to another continent: Most definitely not lmao, if ^ that’s already a no. Eaten sushi: So many times, my dude. Gab and I had sushi for our anniversary.

Been drunk: Yep. As recently as last Saturday. Been high: Never plan to. Been to the dentist: At the start of the year I think. We always get our teeth checked once a year. Bought a new car: Nah, still using my usual one and I never want to trade it for something else, at least while I’m still in college. Had a broken heart: Uh, sure. It sounds cheesy but yeah I’ve felt hurt here and there. Spent over $1,000 in one day: I’ve never even held that much money. Maybe my parents did this, but I haven’t. Kissed a stranger: As a demisexual, the prospect is terrifying. Haven’t done this. Finished a jigsaw puzzle: I don’t think I got to play with puzzles this year. Cooked or baked something from scratch: Yes!!! I’m glad to say I baked something this year! Angela, Hans, Rap, and I spontaneously decided to bake chocolate chip cookies when classes got suspended halfway through the day because of an incoming typhoon. Started a new relationship: No, still in the same relationship as I’ve been in in the last two years. Broken up with someone: Nope. Been broken up with: Nope. Been in the same relationship you were in last year: There we go. Explored a large city: I guess, in the few moments that I had the time. Been to a wedding: No but my mom was invited to a couple this year. I miss going to weddings :( Been to a funeral: Thankfully not. Been to a baby shower: I don’t think so, not this year. Held a baby: Earlier in the year. Angela’s mom (who works as a pediatrician) threw a party and some of her patients and their kids were invited, and one of the kids was a really chubby baby girl that I couldn’t help but hold. Seen a therapist: No, I’ve been putting it off for the longest time. Bought new furniture: My mom’s in charge of that, not me, so no. Made new friends: Sure, you always meet some new people in college. This year it was most notably new recruits in my org, like Tina and Kezhia. Called in sick to work/school: Haven’t we all... Deleted a social media account: I didn’t delete, just deactivate. I’m doing a massive social media detox this Christmas break because everyone’s happy and family-centric posts make me sicker this time of the year. Started a new hobby: Coloring came to me as an impulse hobby last month as Christmas had been approaching, and while I feel sad about flushing so much money in one go over coloring books and supplies, I’m still happy I made an active effort to look out for myself this year. This hobby’s a blassssssst so far. Met a famous person: I don’t think so, if I remember correctly haha. I was like 10 feet away from Paramore but I was too scared to volunteer myself for Misery Business. Went to a concert: I DID!!! I saw Paramore for the second time!!!!!! August 23rd. BEST night of my life, even if I went alone. I don’t know if I ever reported that here but the experience was amaaaaaazing. Best band ever. Traveled via train: The railway system in the Philippines is shit. No way am I voluntarily riding a train. Traveled via airplane: Yes, I went to Bataan over the Holy Week. Been on a road trip: Yes, my dad loves doing road trips so whenever he’s home, we do 1-3 of them. I also did a road trip with just Gab and I when we went to Nasugbu for my birthday. Donated to charity: Not really for charity since they’re sometimes sketchy, but I regularly give money and food to homeless people who knock on my window when I’m stuck in traffic. Been to a country club: Yeah, a few months ago. Went swimming: Many times. The weather this year was not exactly the most convenient, so we went to a LOT of beaches to cool down. Went surfing: Nah, I’m too afraid to try. My sister and parents have had a few lessons but my balance is mostly off haha. Went hiking: NOOOOOOOO UGH I miss hiking! I wish I’d get to do it next year. Had a gym membership: I don’t think I need one, so no I’ve never tried to apply for a membership. Had an argument with a friend: I mean, just with Gabie. I never had an argument with any of my other friends. Had a family reunion: Yeah...dad’s side. It was huge, we rented out a small hotel for it cos literally everyone from my paternal grandmother’s side was there. I was mostly stoked about the food and the couple of dogs that my relatives brought. Went for a walk in a park: This country doesn’t prioritize and maintain their parks, a damn shame. We go for walks at the mall - that’s more of the culture here. Been in the hospital: If I remember correctly, no. Attended a professional sporting event: No. The UAAP (our version of the NCAA) season this year was CRRRRAZY good though, but I never got to get tickets because acads consumed me throughout the semester. Earned a new degree or diploma: I’m in the process of getting one, but no I didn’t earn it this year. Been to a museum: I went back to Pinto this year with Aya, Laurice, Jo, Jum, and Luisa then had a drink atop Antipolo after. Been to an art gallery: Numerous ones with Gab. They pop up every now and then at the mall and we always go through them. Went camping: I was way too busy this year. Went fishing: I don’t like doing that :c Struggled with an eating disorder: No, I’ve never been diagnosed with such a disorder. Been in credit card debt: I don’t even have a credit card. Had new neighbors move in next door: Nope, the houses on either side of ours have long been uninhabited. Gotten drunk at a work party: At an org party, sure. Dyed your hair: Nope. But Gabie did, she had the ends of her hair dyed like a weird blondeish a few months ago. My sister also got brown dye delivered to the house a couple of days ago, so I should be expecting her look to change soon too. Gotten a manicure: Not a big fan of getting my nails painted. Been to a casino: I wouldn’t be allowed to get inside even if I wanted to haha. The one time I smoothly went inside was in 2016 when I was on my cruise trip. The only things I remember is that it the place was filled with flashing lights and everything was super colorful. Voted in an election: No elections happened this year. But we will have our midterm elections in 2019 and I intend to vote then. Shopped at a bookstore: SO MANY TIMESSSSS. Call 2018 the year I got obsessed with school supplies, cos I definitely went overboard with buying pad paper, highlighters, post-its, and, pens. Dined at a fancy restaurant: Many times with Gab. Sat in a sauna: I hate saunas and can’t comprehend how my mom enjoys it so damn much. It’s hot enough in Manila, why salivate at the thought of saunas??? R u ok??? Had a panic attack: Hahaha, I remember so many occasions. Attended a religious service: My family is Catholic, I get dragged to church every week. Been pulled over for speeding: I don’t think speeding is a thing here. People drive like death and I’ve never actually heard of someone getting pulled over for this reason. Stayed awake all night: It happens. Borrowed money from a friend or family member: Gabie lent me a thousand bucks (relax, that’s like $20). I was so short of money last week but I still had a bunch of Santa babies to give gifts to, so I went into a panic until she stepped in and lent me money. Lent money to a friend or family member: I give Gab money sometimes since she commutes from her dorm to my school, but I don’t ask for it back unless I really need the money. Been to an amusement park: LOL pass. I hate amusement parks. Gotten a new pet: No, I still have the same dumb dog. Had strep throat: My throat hurt like a bitch a few months ago. Had food poisoning: I don’t think so. Had the stomach flu: Sure. Binge-watched a show on Netflix: Friends and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Shoveled snow: We don’t get snowwwww. Mowed a lawn: We don’t have a lawn. Bought a new computer: Nope, still have my same trusty laptop. Bought a new phone: My dad got me an iPhone 8 early in the year.

Worked out using a fitness tracker: I don’t work out. Eaten an entire pizza by yourself: Hehe. Felt an earthquake: I don’t think there were any recognizable ones this year. Taken out a loan: I’m a clueless 20 year old and I don’t know what this means, but I’m guessing no. Been prescribed antibiotics: Nope. Sold something on eBay: I don’t use eBay. Painted a room in your house: My control freak of a mom would never let us get away with that.

#survey #surveys

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Austin episode 5 reaction

one thing you can say about this show, it’s a great endorsement for smoothies and condoms

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Meg loves smoothies and Shay loves Meg

I find the setup of what happened after bowling, at the concert, so weird. Like Meg apparently confronted Marlon about meeting with Abby, and he denied it. It seems like it would have been so awkward! Too much tension! Did he have an alibi? I guess you don’t want to waste expensive concert tickets but it’d be so hard to relax and have a good time with that hanging over your head.

I don’t care much about text etiquette or teenage formalities but Marlon could at least ask Meg to the dance in person considering what a dick he’s been lately.

Shay looks very pretty in this scene. I wonder if that glow in her cheeks is for Megan...

Shay reacting to the smoothie: “Is this a protein shake?” Adorable, but lmao, do you not know what a smoothie is? When meeting with your friend meglovessmoothies?

I looked up the restaurant where the smoothie is from and they have the $7 smoothies Marlon had mentioned. But they also have $3-5 smoothies so he’s a dumbass. Just don’t get the expensive shit.

But also, here are some of the $7 smoothies:

MAGIC CARPET RIDE: cherry, pistachio, tahini, sumac, himalayan salt, banana, coconut water

BUSINESS TIME: cold-brewed espresso, banana, peanut butter, raw local honey, cacao, rice milk

GOLDEN TICKET: banana, almond butter, dates, hemp milk, cinnamon, golden paste (turmeric, ginger, cardamom, cinnamon, coconut oil, black pepper, himalayan salt)

I don’t know about you but I would try the shit out of those wild-ass hipster smoothies.

“I was supposed to go over to Tyler’s house, but I ended up watching Netflix on my phone for like six hours.” That sounds like the best possible way to spend a Friday, Shay.

If they’re making Shay Isak, but with a crush on Meg instead of Marlon, how is it going to work if she rats out Meg? Because Isak had the crush on Jonas, he was hurting Jonas by breaking up their relationship but he wasn’t spreading gossip about him. If Shay leaks gossip about Meg, her crush, that’s pretty cruel. Is it going to play out a different way?

Shay does an Isak-worthy eye narrowing at one point.

The ending conversation is so cute and Meg’s “Hey bitch” is my favorite moment from her so far. I hope the two of them hung out all afternoon.

Clip 2 - oh god Kelsey no

The idea of Daniel snapping a picture of Kelsey’s virgin bed with a blood stain, as his idea of a trophy, makes me sick. Oh my God, why. Do The Youth do that these days??? And you know Grace being all, “I’m sure he wouldn’t do that,” is more to soothe Kelsey’s nerves rather than because she believes he is truly not capable of it.

I think Grace being all “let’s not talk about Daniel’s dick” is because she’s very careful about sex and body image due to her bad experiences, if she has Noora’s history.

“He’s probably sharing details about me.” Kelsey, you don’t want to hear what Daniel might be saying about you. It’s so sad that she probably sees this as a positive for her.

If I were Grace, I would be dragging Kelsey’s ass after school to get some emergency contraception. Plan B is at its most effective within 72 hours, which it still would have been when this clip aired; it’s less effective after 72 hours but it still works, and you can buy it over the counter.

Actually it is kind of weird that none of the versions of Skam have brought up the option of emergency contraception. Especially in this version since Grace seems quite informed and proactive about birth control.

“Wait … you didn’t use a condom?” “Well, I mean I brought it with me.” Holy shit, Kelsey, it’s not a talisman that wards off evil. You have to stick it on a dick for it to work.

Grace is the embodiment of that Shirley from Community gif. The lord is testing me.

At least Jo acknowledges that something could have gone wrong even if she’s glad it won’t interfere with their dance plans.

“Hi pretty” lacks some of the male entitlement of “Smile” but I appreciate Meg’s passive-aggressive response just the same.

In this and all versions, there’s something to be said about how boys expect girls to be cheerful for their benefit. Not just because they want their girlfriends to be legit happy, but because a smiling, nonstop happy girlfriend is easier to deal with than an upset girlfriend who might hold him accountable for his BS.

Goddammit, Daniel. Can Grace just punch this fucker in the balls already?

Look at his fucking sunglasses. What an asshole.

It’s kind of weird that Jo flirts so openly with Meg when any of her friends could be like hey, did you know this dude has a girlfriend? Or that someone has seen his “in a relationship” status on Facebook, or a picture of him and his girlfriend, etc.? But it’s a stretch in the original show, too. And I guess they didn’t care if he flirts with her if it comes with perks.

Clip 3 - Meg and Marlon fight again

You can just tell that Meg wishes she were shopping with her girls rather than having to deal with her mans.

Marlon don’t you dare try it with that Even Bech Næsheim cheek kiss and nose rub. I’m not saying Even owns the rights or anything, you’re just banned from doing it unless you can treat your SO with respect.

Megan looks like she flinched when Marlon rubs his nose on her arm.

I mean, Marlon is right in that I wouldn’t want my SO to have to call my parents to confirm my whereabouts, but that’s beside the point when he is lying out of his ass.

“I wish you could stop being so insecure all the time.” Oh fuck off. You put her down to her face not only when the two of you are alone but in front of your friends, who sometimes join in on teasing her, you belittle or dismiss her interests and activities, you bail on plans randomly, and you tell obvious lies. Even without the shady business with Abby, he’s doing so much to make her insecure just from the way he treats her and speaks to her.

Lmao, not to downplay the seriousness of this scene but their relationship is like every overdramatic teenage romance where the couple was always fighting in the halls on Monday and then making out against your locker on Tuesday. A constant cycle of arguments and OTT affection.

Him not getting off her car is so annoying and I would not have blamed her had she driven away the second he got down. Or even before that.

Do any of those other students not notice what’s going on with the screaming match? Or do they not care? Or are there a bunch of randos out of frame watching it go down?

I ended up glad they did the same technique as with Eva/Jonas of not hearing their conversation once he gets in the car, because really the words don’t even matter. It’s just a cycle of fighting and making up, lather, rinse, repeat. I like that they’re in the car which gives them a physical barrier and makes the audience feel more like outsiders. The music was pretty but kinda depressing and ominous which - yeah, sums it up.

Clip 4 - Is that the Fish Under the Sea Dance?

This musical performance is gorgeous but what school has the orchestra perform at a dance? Isn’t it unfair to the kids in orchestra that they can’t just enjoy the dance? Unless they only perform for part of the night.

Props to the singer and her fantastic mermaid scale dress, though.

I see you, Poonam. I wish they’d have more sporadic appearances from her. She had more of a distinct personality than the theater kids and seems less like she should totally fade into the background.

Can Marlon ever get his ass somewhere on time? He keeps running late or ditching her for important events.

I love Josefina’s light-up hair. Give us the tutorial on that.

Kelsey did not send Daniel nudes which is definitely for the best, not just to preserve her dignity, but because teens have gotten in legal trouble for sending explicit pictures of themselves. It’s a misdemeanor for minors in Texas.

Her justifications for Daniel not going with her to the dance are depressing, jeez. She seems like the youngest Vilde of them all.

“Everyone is here with friends so it would have been very weird” cue three boy-girl pairs walking into frame.

It’s more on the nose to have Marlon texting right as Zoya talks about if someone wants to be with you they’ll make time to be with you, rather than to have Zoya give her boy advice in a separate scene, but at least they made the connection.

Kelsey: “Zoya, I don’t know how much you know about boys and dating…” Kelsey, one episode earlier: “It was like he went down on me in my mouth.”

Zoya goes to fix the Kelsey situation, which is nice, because while the message was sorely needed, the delivery could have been a little kinder.

Despite being Kelsey’s BFF and being a great cheerleader for her awkward dancing, Jo doesn’t seem to know how to be there for Kelsey in this Daniel situation. She’s been egging it on and enjoying it secondhand while ignoring the warning signs.

Did they mean to have Megan wearing black and Abby in white, or was that just a coincidence?

Is Abby’s friend Natalie on nunchucks?

I wish Julie would direct Abby to play the role less like the snotty queen bee from a generic teen movie. I know Ingrid wasn’t always the nicest person but Abby seems like a textbook mean girl trope (maybe just because American media is over-saturated with those), and even knowing their history I don’t get how she and Megan could’ve been friends.

It’s not a high school dance until someone is crying outside the building and in the bathroom (which I’m guessing Kelsey has covered).

The reactions from the P-Chris fans hoping Jo would be a better guy this time around were pretty funny, no offense to any P-Chris fans. To be fair, he did seem to have more of a personalized approach to Megan, and I was kinda wondering if maybe Julie would swing more toward P-Jo/Meg this time around as a consolation prize for P-Chris/Eva not being endgame, but whoops, guess not.

I will give Penetrator Jo some credit, he does a decent job of seeming like a friendly, flirty, genuinely interested guy. By “some credit” I mean that were I an emotionally fraught teenage girl and not a TV viewer watching this scenario play out for the fifth time, I would probably fall for his caring and concerned schtick, not credit for him behaving this way, to be clear. Also while he’s laying it on thick, Megan clearly kisses him first.

Boy Jo revealed to be jackass with “why do you always lead me on like that” as if “don’t be a cocktease” in his first appearance wasn’t enough of a clue. Or you know, him having a girlfriend.

Not to mention adding “It’s real annoying” and then lurching into his happy boyfriend mode for Cleo without a hitch. This slick little shit.

This is random but with the aquatic theme of the dance, the first Cleo I thought of was Cleo the fish from Disney’s Pinocchio.

Jo all “We’re just talking” and being sure to add that Megan has a boyfriend. And hey babe, why don’t you have a girl-to-girl heart-to-heart with her? I’ll leave the two of you alone, see, I have nothing to hide, she doesn’t have anything incriminating to tell you.

I like the detail of Cleo calling Megan “Maggie” since it’s a reminder that yeah, she’s a stranger, this is a sweet but impersonal gesture, and there’s a lot she doesn’t know about the situation.

I know people have gotten on all the Evas for not going up to Vildes as they’re leaving the party (I think Italian Eva is the only one who talks to her), but I don’t think you can be too hard on Eva/Meg in this scenario. She’s thinking she’s been betrayed by her boyfriend and that her relationship is possibly over, the other dude who has been flirting with her has a girlfriend, and she just cheated. She’s too drained to deal with much else.

The moment of Meg and Marlon talking on their phones while looking at each other was pure cheesy teen drama and I kinda dug it. I didn’t care for the music choice, though - the song isn’t bad but it fit weirdly with the scene, like when Meg said, “My feet hurt,” and then the lyrics were immediately, “And it hurts like helllll,” lmao. Felt awkward.

Marlon has a lot to do to get on my good side but giving his ugly shoes to Meg and carrying her heels was a cute gesture.

Aha, Marlon was selling Adderall to Abby! Overall I think that’s a good change from him smoking weed as I’m pretty sure selling Adderall would have more severe consequences and it also fits with the theeeeeemes of pressure to succeed.

Also Meg seems surprised that Abby would use Adderall. This is far more incriminating to Abby as well, since she’s not just being a bystander to her brother’s weed transactions. Though probably nothing will come of that.

Meg being like “So you’re a drug dealer?” and Marlon being all, I’m not a drug dealer, I don’t hang out on street corners selling to random people - LMAO. Bro, you sell drugs, you’re a drug dealer. I think it’s probably an accurate teenage mindset, though. Middle-class white boy selling his prescription medicine to his classmates - doesn’t fit the shady connotations in his head, therefore can’t be a drug dealer.

So on the one hand, not to condone teenage drug dealing, but I can completely get how selling your meds would be a more tempting and satisfying option to earn some cash rather than say, getting a minimum wage job at McDonald’s or something like that. You would make more money with much less time working. And I get that Marlon would want to have some financial independence from his parents. But I’m not a huge fan of Marlon’s motivation being just that his parents don’t understand his music. It’s not that I think it couldn’t happen, it’s that it seems like, well … a TV cliche? Maybe it’s just one of those things I’ve seen so much of in teen media, the kid who loves music/art/dance/acting/creative pursuit and the parents who want them to take a more stable path in life.

I kind of wish Marlon had a more topically relevant motivation for selling drugs. His family is struggling financially and he needs the money. College tuition is utterly ridiculous in this country so he’s trying to save up. I guess it doesn’t have to be that serious, but IDK. Like I said, feels a bit cliche.

General Comments:

This week’s best Facebook comment:

American culture truly is having your soundcloud boyfriend dealing adderall

Also at least one person accidentally wrote “Marlon” as “Melon” and I find that hilarious. GET IT TOGETHER, MELON.

The whole shit with the Instagram influencers posting about Skam Austin is so obnoxious and fake. Remember when original Skam received little to no traditional promotion because nothing word turn off teenagers than their parents telling them about this new show that was out? The stuff with the influencers is completely opposed to that strategy. It’s an inauthentic approach when Skam’s appeal lies heavily in its authenticity.

There’s also something to be said about whether this show is reaching teenagers, because quite a few of the newbies appear to be older, but that was inevitable considering Facebook’s losing teenage users and skewing older.

They need to rein in Kelsey a bit. I think the actress has potential, but they’re making her seem like a character who should be on a bad Disney Channel or Nickelodeon sitcom accompanied by a laugh track, not a real person.

I love seeing the Skam Austin newbies ask where they can watch Skam and the OG stans rush in with 10,000 links.

They didn’t post anything on Saturday, not even texts. Are they going to go on hiatus? This is where the break was in the OG S1, plus it’s episode 5 out of a probable 10 (since they cut the cabin episode). I think it’d be a bad idea to take a break now since they don’t want to lose momentum.

#skam austin reactions #skamus reactions

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