#and im just like so. so upset that i can't manifest this voice and have all of you hear it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neptunes-sol-angel · 9 months

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Another pick a card...but make it cunt 😆 im lowkey cringing with myself, but I don't care, I loved this idea and this aesthetic. I've always been a cherry cola kind of gal.

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Pile One

You serve cunt in a classy way. Elegance is your niche, beauty and brains IS your motif. There's magic behind your allure that's very old fashioned, an era that's been mimicked by so many, but only truly reincarnated by fewer individuals. It's so nostalgic, and reminds me of this longing that's present in each generation. "I miss the 90s", "There's hardly any superstars in Hollywood anymore", "Where's the talent?", "Video Vixens of today are lacking sex appeal". Aesthetics and "vibes" are easy to wear as a costume, but will always fall short as if something is missing. You have something that isn't ephemeral and can't be cloned because it isn't studied by the naked eye, but is definitely hard to not notice. It's derived from your authenticity, and is most adored by when you're in your element. I'm getting that one of your talents involve visuals, if you're the model when it comes to art, people love your sense of style and the way that you walk, if you're the creator, whether it's digital or concrete, the people love how your creations are like air, it isn't try hard, it doesn't demand to be seen, it's a force to be reckoned naturally. Maybe you guys are enthusiasts, and are the audience that admires the art, but just because of your passion, you generate a following that's interested in how you see things and what you have to say. This could definitely be a pile for cinephiles, anime cosplayers, or even beauty influencers. Continue using your voice, serving cunt is when speak your mind. You're able to strike a nerve in people without being vulgar. Both your stance on things and tone are profound. People are intimidated by your intellect, eloquence, self-efficacy, and mental independence. I'm seeing archivists in this pile, people that are very protective over cultural traditions, history, but also protective over themselves. Even if you're still learning how to set boundaries in a healthy way with others, you demonstrate a lot of vigor by making the first step, which is knowing what's beneath your worth. Your physical attraction is lethal because you create your own category of appeal, what's preventing you from weilding it to its full potential is seeing it for yourself, without needing another person or social construct to point it out for you. Maybe some of you are trying to get out of the grass is greener on the other side mindset when it comes attracting what you want. If it's love in all aspects, recognition, self-worth, manifestation, or just confidence to interact with others as who you are, this relates to your femininity, a misconception that your feminine energy has to be soft, dark, hyper, or even concealed. For some of you, you could have had a rough upbringing, where although you unfortunatelt had to withstand pressure, it turned you into a diamond. Especially if you're ethnic, and resonate with being a historian, scrutiny over your physical and cultural differences, could have taught you to really value yourself, not feel guilty for defending yourself, and recognize how special you really are.

Pile Two

You're approaching a special glow up and it's definitely going to be something "cunty" that'll have some people upset. I don't even see this as a villain era, but more so something very personal. I feel like this pile has dealt with a lot of situations with people cornering you into making you doubt yourself or just outright trying to sabotage your spirit that could convince you out of opportunities that are divinely meant for you. Even though it says a lot about what you're capable of, if people have to kick you down when you're low or can't take you down by themselves, it takes a powerful person to stand up for themselves ten toes down against intimidation. You're going to achieve a milestone that's going to be very important to you but also a big deal to others as well, especially your haters. People that underestimated your might, are going to have to witness these rewards that you've worked so hard for, and it isn't even the peak of blessings that your endurance will reap. You serve cunt, by getting stuff done, accessorizing initiative with your charm, having a lot of endurance and scorching optimism amongst being met with cold situations like betrayal, failure, and people that aren't kind. You serve cunt with your quirks, creativity, and self-awareness, you're like this fountain that doesn't stop pouring when it comes to your capacity to grow and hone your gifts. You serve cunt with the way you keep fighting for your wishes and your stability. Even if it's not on some woo-woo abracadabra shit, you serve cunt in a "witchy" way. You guys are alchemizers, you make peace with your darkness by letting it transform you for the better. You're not afraid to show your scars, your sensitivities, your imperfections, or your mistakes, or your shadow. You wear them like a Picasso painting, abstract, thought-provoking, inspiring, mesmerizing. The way that you serve cunt is only a weapon to those who feel inadequate compared to your range. You could attract a lot of envy, people who feel personally feel like what you're blessed with should be given to them, but this is petty energy, hence why it never prevails against you. It could sting, but it never keeps you down. You could have a strong spiritual team that's protective over you, but part of your protection also comes from understanding that you DO have teasurable qualities that'll bring you success one day. You serve cunt, by the way you empower yourself instead of blaming others for hiccups in your life, you take control by knowing that no amount of evil eye, tower moments, or swords in your back can ruin or take away your abundance, that energy can't be destroyed, it can only be blocked by you, continue to keep your motivation high and always recognize when you're getting in your own way. The magic just doesn't stop, it starts with you and how you create your life by how you apply your actions in your present reality. Keep chasing after what you want, because it's out there, seeking for you too.

Pile Three

"I don't chase—I attract" but make it cunt. The burst of energy in this pile is both chaotic but ironically contained at the same time? It's like how a cat always lands on its feet. The universe LOVES you, and you know it, I'm getting major princess treatment vibes in this pile, but it's not something that you take for granted nor is your life just completely sunshine and rainbows. The struggles that weigh on your shoulders, you carry them well, and you always manage to give others a smile or just the things that you say will make their day or change their way of thinking about life. People admire your confidence, they love your humor, some people just want to BE you entirely because of how other individuals and opportunities just seem to gravitate towards you. People in general just deem you as someone's who is lucky. Words are spells, and people liken yours to the Midas touch. You're great at giving yourself and others, affirmations, and a part of what expands your abundance is how you show gratitude. Even if it's not much, the way that you speak of things, will make others believe that what you have is golden. I'm getting a hypothetical scenario where you're in a financial bind, that's inevitable and out of your control, but instead of mentally just shutting down or letting this problem consume your day, you order an iced coffee, but do you know what you're gonna do with that iced coffee? You're gonna romanticize the hell out of that coffee! This also applies to how you look as well, doing a baddie on a budget haul at Marshall's? Best believe you're gonna still be serving CUNT in that outfit, name-brand or not. You know that each person's expiration date on life is unknown until it happens, so you really serve cunt by living each day like the world is your oyster. I notice that you're also very clear with your intent which is why the universe meets you half way. When you take a leap, you can fall, you know you're not invincible, but most of the time, you fly, and soar away into the next adventure. When you lose things or people that are not for you, don't resonate with anymore, or take you for granted, you could find yourself immediately seeing your losses being replaced with something better. You treat life like a celebration, and that's why people enjoy your company, others may feel that it's always going to be a fun, pleasant, and memory making moment when hanging out with you. You're wild in a way that may be scary for others, but also induce an adrenaline rush in others because your aura just feels so carefree and like they're being liberated.

#divination #intuitive #psychic #pick a card #tarot #spirituality #pac #tarotblr #tarot community #free readings #tarot readings #the tarot community #pick a pile #pick a picture

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weebsinstash · 2 years

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block him and don't think too hard about it. it's okay if you feel bad, but keep him blocked. just do it and push it to the back of your mind! definetly a walking red flag cut him off and you'll be good!!

Well like. I keep telling myself "oh, give this dude a chance, maybe he's just extremely socially awkward, maybe he's from another culture and he doesn't realize this is weird" but like. Here

Like uh. Am I talking to an axe murderer or something or does he genuinely not see this as bizarre. This dude dodges questions like Matrix bullets. I'm almost wondering if he's testing how gullible and weak willed i am or something. And guess what 💀 my dumb ass never blocked him bc I brought up he was coming off as really creepy and he apologized and shit but like. This kind of. Reeks of. I dunno. It's very bizarre. Said he liked my name and wanted to see if I wanted to be friends but he said that only after I had to question him so. Now I just feel like if I block him now then I'M the asshole. Which is fucked up right?

Also like even if he wasn't acting sketch as fuck he says he lives in Florida and he's 24 so 1. He's younger than me 2. Florida sucks and 3. We could never meet in person or whatever so idk what his game plan is. I lowkey feel like he's looking for girls to try and get them to send nudes or something. His English is also kind of off to me which doesn't inherently mean anything but idk it just makes me think of phishers and scammers

I would just. Also like to point out. How it just. Is really jumping out to me that my trauma manifests as risking my own safety to placate others. Because I can list so many things wrong with this entire interaction and im sitting here talking about video games with him because I feel guilty to end the conversation 💀 fucking. Stupid ass voice in the back of my head "but what if you block him and hurt his feelings 😥 you don't want to make someone SAD do you"

Like dude if you're seeing this right now this entire thing has given me so much fucking anxiety about randomly talking to people. Straight up the only reason I replied is because of THIS blog and I assumed maybe he knew me from here or ao3 but. Nope! Just homegrown lonely dude randomly hitting me up?

God. God. Fuck. This is actually really starting to piss me of, less now about him even and more about how I can't even. Choose for myself. Protect myself. I dont know. Jesus. Every time I'm about to go through with it I either get a new nice message that makes me feel bad for considering it or. I dunno. I dunno how to even verbalize this. I guess I have a psychological idk THING about being terrified of upsetting people (i guess because my brain instantly correlates someone being angry or upset with the immediate threat of physical violence onto myself, thanks dad)

this is not even like. The only weird message I've ever gotten. I feel bad even talking about it because Im the one having the conversation and letting it continue. I should just try and smoke and sleep soon. I've been working overnight shifts now and when I get off work I just feel too drained to deal with this kind of thing. Idk. Hopefully I make some sort of decision soon so I can at least stop beating myself up over the indecision

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levi-dayne · 2 months

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hey im a 17yo she/her n i kinda feel like i maybe autistic but im not sure, can u give a few telltale signs which may help? (ik a diagnosis from a professional is better but it isnt exactly an option for me rn)

hey!!

so first and foremost, autism presents differently for everybody. connecting with other autistic people can be very helpful, but you don't have access to a professional diagnosis then i would also recommend doing your own research with medical articles, the dsm, etc. and try to avoid getting information off of places such as tiktok and instagram. i'm drawing a lot from my own experiences here because that's what i know, but i just think it's important to note that my experiences are not going to be the exact same as another autistic person you may talk to about this, nor will that person's experience be the exact same as the next one.

so for me, the biggest tell-tale sign was a lack of social awareness. as a kid, i had a hard time connecting to my peers in a way that they deemed fit. i would often speak too loudly, be disruptive, and say whatever was on my mind without realizing if it was oversharing or upsetting to people. however, this can also manifest as being too shy, not speaking enough, etc. unfortunately, your peers will often pick out from a young age that there is something different about you. on a similar note, i also have a very hard time carrying conversations with other people. if i have to, still to this day, i tend to overshare or talk about things that are not socially acceptable (a big recent topic has been cannibalism). that or i'll just go quiet, i tend to not say anything if i don't see anything that i feel needs to be said unless i am extremely desperate for human connection (which, contrary to stereotypes, can happen and often does for me. i just have a hard time relaying it). i also tend to share experiences about my own life when people are talking as a way to relate to them, which is not inherently an autistic trait, but it is very common for autistic people to do.

a more well-known sign of autism is a lack of eye contact, but it can also manifest as any other form of inappropriate eye contact ratio such as too much eye contact or focusing so much on maintaining an eye contact to looking away ratio that you can't focus on what's being said.

sensory issues are also very common. for me personally this manifests in scratchy fabrics, loud noises, wet or sharp noises, and food. however, autism can also encompass a reduced sensation of pain or temperature. those things are also not mutually exclusive, i have a reduced sensation of temperature and also severe sensory issues.

many autistic people have an aversion to physical touch, but that's not always the case.

stimming is another one, a common known stim is hand flapping, but any repetitive self-soothing movement or sound can be a stim. pulling examples from my own experiences, i often tap my wrists together, rock back and forth, twirl my hair, tap my arm, tap my wrists to my legs, laryngeal whistling, etc.

a low social battery is another thing, if you seem to get worn out in social situations before your peers do, etc. i know i can typically only be around most people irl for two hours at a time before i start getting overwhelmed. for me personally when i get overwhelmed it's an instant switch. i stop masking, my voice drops an octave, i can't look up at people, i stim more, it causes my entire body to feel exhausted and sometimes takes days to recover from.

not every autistic person experiences this, but i have speech loss episodes when i get too overwhelmed. which is pretty much that i can't speak no matter how hard i try to. sometimes i can write/text instead, sometimes i can't even form what i want to say in my head enough to do that. it depends on the situation.

having a hard time switching between tasks can also be a sign of autism, as a kid i would often need buffer time between going from reading to math, etc.

another thing can be fixated interests, not to say that anyone with intense interests is autistic but for me i have always formed almost parasocial?? attachments to fictional characters and would need to have the character involved in absolutely everything that i did in order to do it. a common misconception is that a special interest has to be something like science or trains, but it can be literally anything as long as it takes up an abnormal portion of your life. personally, my fixations can last several months to several years and can frequently negatively impact my life and make me late to events/work/class, make me lose friends from talking about it too much, etc.

obviously this is not an extensive list of autistic traits or my own experiences with autism, and i would definitely recommend further research. and even if you're not able to pursue a diagnosis at this time, if you're able to talk to a doctor during an appointment to see if they think you exhibit any signs or to get more insight as to what it may look like then you should consider doing so.

if you have any questions or want to talk about specifically why you think you might have autism, feel free to send me a dm :)

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writingbrainrot · 3 months

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Hey does anyone who has aspd have tips for how i can best communicate with bio dad who has undiagnosed aspd.

I am audhd and also a system with c-ptsd/ctx

Unrelated to the aspd symptoms that i personally think bio dad very clearly shows, he tends to also end up toxic due to the childhood trauma he went through.

I could explain to bio mom who has bpd why what she was doing was hurting me after a lot of effort and heartache because her neurodiversity manifests so that her emotions are how she processes and understands the world.

Bio dad enters his shell/becomes defensive at any "stop that" or "no" which triggers my SA trauma so it ends up escalating and i end up getting really serious autistic meltdowns.

It's almost like he has emotional responses to the world but tries to logically pick that apart but has a boatload of alexithymia.

I can't figure out which communication method will make him "listen to me to understand instead of listen to me to respond because unless i explicitly ask for a response, then i don't need one, especially when i am upset and dysregulated and crying" (yes i've told him that i need him to do so in these words, this is a paraphrasing quote that i've tried to write accurately)

Because from what i can tell his fight or flight or freeze gets mildly activated at any percieved critique and then he treats me like a threat and in the past compared me to his abusive mother despite me being his underage child at the time which struck me as odd and is why i remark on it. He seems to still be doing that but just like then he denies accusing me of being a bully or thinking of me as a threat. Despite his body instantly changing, his tone going very short and aggressive, starting to insult and raise his voice etc etc which i conclude is him being defensive.

But as i'm sure you understand i need to be able to tell him "hey stop, you're hurting me" and he stops instead of trying to debate if he has actually hurt me (which i have also expressed he shouldn't do as that causes things to escalate for me)

So the tldr is:

What communication method/script works best? Ik one person with aspd is only one person with aspd and doesnt represent the whole neurotype but i have literally no insight into how this neurotype processes the world, thinks and feels compared to my neurotype so i need something, anything, to start bridging the gap/translating what he is saying to smth i can understand and translate what i want to say into smth he can understand.

Why i'm bridging the gap instead of going low or no contact is because i am disabled and physically dependent on him atm, as soon as i get a chance to change that i will but atm im incapable of doing so. Ik this sitch is horrible for both of us but i literally have no other option than try to make it work atm/ctx

#aspd question #aspd #if there is nothing to do because of his trauma responses/shitty mental health system then i accept it #but i literally have nothing to lose in asking #sorry if this seems to add stigma #i tried to phrase this as fairly as i could and leave my emotions out of it as much as possible but i'm unable to succeed because of #how emotionally affected i am at the moment #also i am pretty sure he doesn't have autism but he deffo has adhd even if the dick therapist won't diagnose him #mental health #help #pls help

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winged-witch-of-impossible · 2 years

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sometimes when I was going through break ups, bullying, etc there would be this automatic switch inside my thoughts where this almost motherly like feeling would come onto me and my thoughts would almost 'respond' to me in a way.

before getting into witchcraft and learning about deities, I just thought it was me comforting myself like a mother would, as I've never geniunely had a mom, it's always been my grandma.

I'd be crying and upset and having negative sad thoughts and suddenly id think "Hey, hey it's okay. Don't cry love you're trying your best. It's gonna be ok, you're ok" almost in the tone of a mother. Looking back, the memories of when those times would happen almost looks like someone is hugging me, when I replay them in my head.

"It's ok, some people leave. Some people aren't meant to stay in your life forever and that's ok. You'll get through this. I know it hurts, I know you feel betrayed. But it'll get better."

Sometimes it'd sound like it was laughing but in a sympathetic and comforting way, the way a mother hugs her child when the child is upset.

I don't speak to myself like this most of the time, as my thoughts tend to manifest more so as feelings instead of the little voice you use to read things.

"You're not ugly, don't listen to them. You are absolutely beautiful and if they can't see it, they are blind!"

"I know you want closure love but he's made it clear he doesn't want to talk to you. That's a form of closure. I know what he did wasn't fair, it hurt, he betrayed you.

I know but it hurts so much. Why did he leave me? I'm just not good enough

"No, you are good enough. Some people aren't meant to stay in your life forever, some people come and go. There's not much you can do about it. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him"

The feeling I'd get would be warm, like I was being hugged. The voice/thought would change it's tone too, it didn't really ever sound like me. I'd already be crying from hurt and betrayal but that feeling would wash over me and it would feel like how my grandma hugs me when Im already upset and the tears would just spill out even more.

I've never known what it's like to just have a *mother* figure. But that feeling made it feel like it was my mother, thinking about it makes me wanna cry, not in a bad way, but because the feeling is so beautiful, so comforting. It never felt like an "evil" presence but when the moment would pass I could tell it was something else at play because as I've stated, I don't talk to myself like that.

I like to believe it was Lady Lilith helping me in those times, and that She was hugging me and letting me know it'll all be ok

#Lady Lilith #witchcraft

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

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Oh god the voice message broke me!! I heard it right before I went to bed but no translation was out yet so I assumed he was talking to yara but NOPE. josh is trying so hard to be there for nora as a friend because he doesn't want to lose her and he cares SO SO MUCH for her but it's difficult because he has such strong feelings still so he resorts to "be shitty to me so it's easier to be your friend" EYE-?!?!???? JOSH PLEASE THIS IS NOT HEALTHY :((( I didn't think my heart would still be breaking for them the day before the season ends but here we are >:(

Nora needs to meet up with him I don't see how she can just ignore the voice message he sent and I refuse to believe that they're going to the roof and josh isn't there when that is THEIR PLACE. That's where it began for them and it's been so important for nora I just cannot fathom any possibility of josh not being there tonight. All I want is for them to TALK DAMN IT lay all of their cards on the table. He was honest last night and now I need nora to do it yes I know it's not easy but you can do it nora I believe in you!!! Communicate please omg it's all of the unspoken words that makes me lose my damn mind I just?!?!??? Tell him what she told the girls and that she can't fully commit to a relationship now even though she wants to and she hopes he doesn't see anyone else in the meantime (I really hope the writers DO NOT make him date someone else next season if the conversation i want to happen doesn't happen tonight). And then everything else can follow with her telling him YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT :(( he's such a kind and amazing boy that it just makes me so upset that he's willing to do anything to keep the people he loves in his life. I don't understand why they have to choose one when they make each other happy and they can learn to navigate through their challenges together.

And same! I really wish we had seen more of Yara and hopefully she'll play a bigger role in the coming seasons. Manifesting josh and fatou friendship after seeing them interact last night and hopefully yara is brought into that fold i would die. Also omg all insta content??? JOSH AND CASHQUEEN?!?! ALL I'VE WANTED!!!! (also im mourning the cute nora and josh content we could have gotten but druck is playing games)

HEY! SO GUESS WHAT! TURNS OUT WE DO HAVE RIGHTS AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fatou is definitely next season’s main right... josh and fatou friendship WE SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE also I DO GET CUTE BACKGROUND JOSH AND NORA IN THE NEXT FEW SEASONS??????? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF MY HEART IS IMPLODING]

#jjj-three #answers #druck spoilers #MY HANDS ARE FUCKING SHAKING

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