#and idk i just feel like there wasnt really a point

[moonlume]

tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything

#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism. #sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art... #i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this. #but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again. #its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years. #im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again... #but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it. #anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human. #i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable #but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start #ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍

[measureyourlifeincake]

my stp brainrot has combined with my casual interest in historical dress youtube and I decided to draw the Princess in a more historically-inspired outfit than her original design

If anyone's curious, her outfit/hairstyle is supposed to be from around 1828 ("around" bc my main reference/inspiration was definitely from 1828 but I had so many tabs open with different inspo images from nearby years and I don't remember which ones I actually used. also did you know it is surprisingly difficult to search for royal portraiture from a specific year) because based on some cursory googling, it seemed a lot of the elements of her canon base dress (off-the-shoulder, sweetheart neckline, poofy sleeves, straight waistline around the natural waist, skirt that isn't super full/poofy) seemed historically plausible for that time period

I also drew her hair in a more historically-accurate style for the period (but don't ask me exactly what's going on there because I'm not entirely sure myself) but I kept her canon tiara because it seemed plausible enough. anyway this was really fun to do!!!

#i had to stop myself from calling this a ''historically accurate Princess'' or whatever #bc shes not supposed to be from any point in history shes just like. the Idea of a Princess #also idk how accurate i actually am #im certainly no expert! #i just think historical clothing is neat :) #i couldve gone for something more medieval since the concept of ''fairy tale princess'' is very ''medieval-as-filtered-through-victorian'' #but i just. didnt wanna do that. so its 1820s/30s #slay the princess #slay the princess fanart #stp princess #scribblebard #also if anyone looking at this doesnt know slay the princess: #a) you should really play slay the princess its a good game #b) i did not choose the big silly anime eyes she just looks like that #and i wanted to draw her as close to her canon appearance (or. *a* canon appearance??) as possible aside from the deliberate changes i made #i was feeling bummed that this wasnt getting any notes but then i realized i saved it as a draft instead of posting lol

[trashcreatyre]

Sometimes I think I should just have this as my banner so I don't have to keep explaining this every time I talk about liking Elise as a character or like 06 at all

#trash rambles #sonic 06 #the thing is i dont even have a problem with this scene other than the kiss #like idk #i feel like it wouldve been a million times less weird if theyd made it like #a forehead kiss or something #or like #made it kinda like the revival scene in tangled? like? tear based? yk? #or just not have that bit at all cus it wasnt the kiss that brings him back #so theres no real point of it being in there other than to force a romance plot that dosent really read well #idk i just have a lot of thoughts

[dizzybevvie]

If I die within the next week know it wasnt an accident

#I dont have the energy to elaborate rn and this is a /lh #i just have sooo much nostalgia for rob/dob and every plot point is wrapped up in a lil bow instead of stretching for 9373927393 episodes #i get thats some peoples style! its just not rlly mine :3 #as a kid i loved every dragon from Book Of Dragons having its own episode #and i feel like ppl forget that when rtte was coming out; they could only go so far! #like the second movie had already come out. they knew where they were going #which is definitely a strength of the show in some regards #but rob/dob didnt have that #we hsd no idea where rhe franchise was going #which made big lore revelations so meaningful #Hiccup discovering the box with a present from his (thought diseased) mother??? THAT WAS SO WILD TO 5 YEAR OLD ME #or Borks papers and the isle of night (which turned out to be a ruse but like!!!! IT STILL FELT SO BIG AT THE TIME!!!!!!) #idk. #i feel like ive been trying to downplay my love for rob/dob which really ignited my love for the franchise to begin with #bc the animation was janky and no one had really seen it and no one in my entire life had ever valued it like i did #(read: i was autistic and didnt realise caring so much about something wasnt “normal”) #But i rewatched it this year and yknow what? it holds up. i ADORE riders of berk. FIGHT ME. #(Sonic destruction Knuckles voice) Try some shit youll catch these hands #FIGHT ME. YOU'LL WIN #httyd #rob/dob #riders of berk #defenders of berk #race to the edge #NOT RTTE NEGATIVITY BTW!!!!! I LOVE RTTE TE WRITING IS RLLY GOOD ITS JUST THE FORMAT OF ROB APPEALS MORE TO ME PERSONALLY #how to train your dragon #hiccup how to train your dragon #beverly says stuff

[vero-niche]

a fellow english major, really happy to see someone who's proud of their degree <3

you know that "no love, no matter how brief, is wasted" line? i think the same applies for knowledge too - no matter how useless it may seem, knowledge acquired is never in vain.

#honestly like. idk what your age is but when i was attending uni i kept getting told that i shouldve gone for IT. because the future #- and the money - is there. #now look at the IT companies. the whole thing is crumbling #not to mention the arrogance. that IT degree didnt make you immune to the same old scam tactics did it. how are your nfts doing btw #honestly i never really expected it myself that a humanities degree would prove useful in a daily life type of way #like. sure i knew it wasnt useless but still. its entirely different to experience it in real time yknow #and the whole new wave ''it isnt that deep'' trend is honestly pretty dangerous bc there usually IS something deeper. #a narrative an agenda a propaganda etc.... or simply just capitalist greed #so its needed to read between the lines and see what the point/intention really is #- and thats what literary and other art analysis is making you do! it makes you stop and think #this is all not even mentioning all the political historical and cultural stuff we learned about all the anglo-saxon countries #which all prove to be pretty useful in light of recent events...... #so yeah. anyway. dont listen to all those who say its useless (and theres a lot of those even among the ones who chose this major too) #its clearly not. but even if it were it wouldnt matter ehat they think #(i do wish tho that i couldve attended it already on the right meds bc i feel like i forgot A Lot bc of my mental state at the time #but oh well. what can you do) #thank you for the ask it was really nice of you 💞💞💞 #ask #anon

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

You can in fact do whatever you want forever!! If it's not as convincing when you say it to yourself, here I am saying it to you as well. And it's cute to see you expressing yourself comfortably, even if you were contradictory, who cares. Kill the identity police inside your head or whatever

you guys are going to have me crying like for real

#i say like it is not happening already i mean what no its just. allergies #I KNOW AND I TALK ABT IT FOR OTHER PEOPLE ALL THE TIME BUT IM THE WORLDS BIGGEST HYPOCRITE #its just. idk #it feels like im lying to people #being a pretty 'typical' asexual was such a big and stable part of my identity for a while and when it wasnt actually the case anymore idk #it feels like im lying to people and im going back on things #but really im just changing and i know thats okay and even expected but aughthwhskgkg #head in hands #you guys have been really helpful though and i love you all a lot #i mean its what got me to this point anyway. i remember i used to get so embarrassed to the point i couldn't even admit i wanted to kiss a #character (cough cough venti) but now i CAN even if im still embarrassed abt it #and i need to keep it in mind for stuff like this too but woeifjghfnd #anyway the point is. thank you all. a lot #aethers asks #personal posts and stuff #aethers rants

[infizero]

why isgrian shipping the warden and the wither

#? #serena.txt #serena.live #slsmp spoilers #also grian reeling from jimmys death only to shriek mumbo's name when he dies immediately after and saying ''this wasnt the plan!!'' #do i even need to say my whole spiel at this point #so funny to me how grian has multiple times done a thing where hes accidentally caused violence/death for ppl he likes #in the middle of INTENTIONALLY causing violence/death for others #like him killing ren only to realize afterward he'd inadvertently killed big b as well. i dont know #something about him cackling and laughing at scar being chased by the wither #only for him to be all shocked by mumbo dying to the warden. i feel like he had two very different responses there. #if you're someone who takes every opportunity he can get to hurt people. is it any wonder you keep ''accidentally'' hurting #those around you as well? #that girl is dangerous to be around. thats all im saying #we all know this but like friend or foe being with grian is not going to end well for you its just not #now idk if this really counts for widows curse. its tricky this season #etho and cleo are grian's teammates but are they really who hes CLOSEST to? idk. #for me i'd say i don't think either of mumbo's deaths count as like The Death that would continue the tradition #i think it'd have to be etho or cleo for me to count it. but mumbo's deaths definitely fall in line with this same pattern of #people close to grian dying due in some part to him #and hey if etho and cleo dont end up having a death that fits the bill then you KNOW i will actually be taking mumbo's as the one #this is all about my silly little ideas and what suits them best

[bendybonesss]

may or may not get mobbed for this but i feel like the yellow guy age debate is too black & white ....... "4 year old or 40 year old, make your choice now" or we could . like . chill out

#like idk i like the idea of him being an adult who age regresses sometimss #my personal interpretation of canon is that his age either fluctuates or he was designed to be a child but kind of just. isnt #still childish but not a child #its dhmis. get jiggy with it. idk #AND YES I KNOW autistic character gets babied and all that i understand i really do #and the whole thing of yellow being red & duck's child gets shilled out so that dhmis fits the mold of funny haha silly found family #when its not really like that #not that they ARENT found family obviously #ironically it seems as if people feel the need to box them into a more traditional family dynamic #and it seems odd to me how people will defend the child theory so valiantly despite him having a wife n kids lol #and even weirder how people seem to think yellow wasnt happy with claire.. the whole Point was that he was happy #so yeah i think occasional agere yellow is a pretty cool compromise #(not forcing anyone to share this opinion but yk) #i Need him to use his childish whimsy against the very world that tells him hes a dumb kid. thatd be kickass #dhmis #yellow guy #i think what we should really be focusing on is duck being the youngest of the group. that's so funny to me #do we ever address how many people think duck is like 50 meanwhile he's like 30. well we Should #rambles

[dreamsy990]

my thoughts on ddd basically boil down to "great game! kill the story with fire and sticks." which i think is about the coldest take ever. do not get me started on how nobodies having hearts is a dumbfuck plot twist i am so full of rage over that.

#it ruins roxas' entire character i swear #also sidenote soras evidence for nobodies having hearts is. hilarious #his examples are xion; namine; roxas; and axel #xion isnt even a nobody #namine is only considered a nobody on a technicality #roxas is generally an exception to a lot of nobody rules. also him having emotions and that being an abnormality is like. a plot point #and axel generally doesnt have emotions! he only ever has them relating to sora or roxas and he is genuinely shocked the first time he- #-realizes that he can feel something because of them #he literally dies saying '[roxas] made me feel like i had a heart... its funny- you make me feel the same way' #that weird ability they have to make axel feel things is a big part of why he cares so much about roxas and sora #and to say that 'he actually had a heart' is just a bad misinterpreting of what was already there #and if i didnt know any better i would assume there was a different writer for this game #its poorly thought out and directly contradicted on multiple occasions #plus you cant tell me xemnas really tricked all these people into thinking they didnt have hearts. like. at the very least VEXEN would have #also if they always felt things and xemnas gaslighted them into thinking it wasnt real #then why would axel notice anything special about sora and roxas at all. wouldnt he just treat emotions caused by them like everything else #-and talk himself into thinking they werent real? like its just not thought out #also to me it makes xemnas a less interesting villain. i dont mind his big secret plot i think its fine honestly. #but i much prefer the option of xemnas taking advantage of people who were desperate to him gaslighting and lying #its more personal taste but like. idk #also literally do not get me started on how this twist sucks for roxas' character. its just plain bad for him. #he fought tooth and nail and fucking died saying he deserved to exist whether or not he had a heart #and to look at him and go 'dont worry you get one now' is just bad! and i hate it!! #anyways. i fucking despise this games story #kingdom hearts #doodles #sora #roxas #riku #lea

[scarletcomet]

guess whose therapist thinks she could benefit from inpatient treatment

#got really depressed and a bit suicidal during my session today #im not actively suicidal rn but i feel so hopeless and i just want to give up resulting in some suicidal thoughts #the thoughts of hurting myself are getting louder and more overwhelming #so im not at a point rn where i think i need inpatient but im worried about getting worse #im going to nyc this weekend and seeing 2 shows and some of my favorite broadway actors but i do not feel excited #i want to feel excited but i just dont. i should be excited. if this doesn't make me feel something #then i doubt anything will. #reminds me of late may/early june when i wasnt excited for my birthday or the taylor swift concert because i did not want to live anymore #im worried that this is a warning sign. i feel like ive made so much progress with treatment in the last 10 months #but i feel like i haven't made enough progress and i feel like ive hit a wall and there's no improvement to be made #because I've tried like everything. i feel so hopeless. ive been in treatment for almost a year. #even inpatient i doubt would help me. like ive been there and done that. i spent nearly 20 days in inpatient last summer #only benefit would be seeing my doctor sooner but that's assuming i could even get a bed in the 11 person unit she works inpatient at #what benefit would seeing my doctor even do? we've tried almost everything and im on the max dose of most my meds #idk what to do #i feel like im running out of options. the only depression treatments i havent tried are ketamine and ect #i guess my options are ketamine ect suicide or continuing feeling how i feel now but i dont know how much longer i can live like this

[sonknuxadow]

ngl if they do ever remaster any of the 3d sonic games i reaaalllyyy hope they dont redo any of the voice acting. and if they do then they should either just re record the lines with as many people from the original cast as possible and only make replacements when necessary or leave an option to switch to the old audio if they redo it with the current cast. i do not mean this as an attack on the current cast theyre all very talented and are just doing their jobs but seeing sonic unleashed or sonic adventure 2 or sonic and the black knight or whatever be redone with the current cast would feel so wrong in a way i cannot explain

#maybe im just biased because a lot of my favorite voices for the characters are not from the current cast #but also the way certain characters sound in certain games just feels like an iconic Part Of The Game #that shouldnt be changed or else the whole vibe gets thrown off. idk #i know with sonic colors ultimate they kept all the original voice acting but #i dont think they even redid the cutscenes at all they just put them in completely unchanged? #and most of the voice cast from that game are still voicing those characters anyway #so there wasnt really any point in re recording any of the voice acting #i do remember though in sonic colors rise of the wisps they got tails's voice actor from that game to come back and voice him there #so maybe thats a sign that if they ever remastered an older game they would keep the original cast #i just realized the way i worded the main post makes it sound like colors ultimate doesnt exist #well. colors ultimate barely counts as a remaster to me from what ive seen they barely changed anything and its more of a port

[perenlop]

needs to be a category for "yeah dad is in my life and its all fine theres no divorce and he wasn't a deadbeat or away at work constantly but things just feel Off"

#like. im not upset over it or mad at him or avoiding him like i do with my older brother or anything #but if i may overshare a bit. he had me when he was older. like he was a new grandfather when i was born and im his youngest #and i always got the vibe that he was just exhausted at that point and upset hes gotta keep his job despite being retirement age #and i never really processed how thatd effect him til my mom expressed that they felt guilty for having me so late #it feels very... off when i talk to him tho. like i can have full conversations with my mom #but with my dad it feels like we both want to run off. like he just wants to go home #idk. i know it could be worse cause im gathering from context clues that he wasnt a great dad to my oldest half brothers #dl

[scarletiswailing347]

thought of some really cool backstory for killer!zam for the dbl au but i Cannot tell if it clashes with the canon lore or not cause i havent looked into it enough yet

#mine.txt #c zam #au dbl #f ls #basiaclly survivor!zam got banished to the void after 6 months cause he just kept on dying #and it eventually made his mind just shut down and start dissociating #which the entity didnt like cause that meant he wasnt feeling things anymore #and eventually he turned into a haunt cause i assume survivors that got voided turn into haunts eventually??? idk it doesnt really say #and the void in the blight's lore cinematic doesnt really look like the one in the event #while the one in the observer's cinematic doesnt really point to much #and during halloween or whenever it canonically takes place during a rift opening event spoke managed to release him #which made him remember everything that happened to him in the trials and yanked him out of his dissociated state #which stirred some Extremely Strong and Extremely Homicidal feelings #which made the void go hmmm maybe i still have some use for this guy after all and brought him back from the void #but since hes a haunt he needs a lot of auric cells to reconstruct #which isnt a problem for the entity but its still way more than the average killer needs #idk what the logic of the visceral cankers and pustula flowers are since i cant really find anything other than they bloom during halloween #so i headcanon they appear in areas with a larger concentration of auric cells #and normally auric cells are too spread out to spawn them #hence why they only really show up in halloween since more consciential energy is built up in the entity since emotions are running high #(i mean all kinds of emotions not just despair cause just despair would be the void) #and since zam is essentially a walking talking auric concentration hes got them blooming all over him #i also headcanon the realms run on amok time so both survivor!zam and killer!zam are just running around at the same time #theyve got an isolated timeloop thing going on where survivor!zam keeps dying and turning into killer!zam #while killer!zam keeps running on heightened emotions until the toll of killing himself over and over again gets to him and he gets voided #at least until mapicc has had enough and decides to teach zam to be better at surviving #as opposed to leo and clowns method where they just kinda try (and fail) to shield him #so survivor!zam is more visibly traumatized now but can at least hold off his own #killer!zam meanwhile doesnt get fatigued from killing himself over and over again and doesnt get voided #the entity allows this cause it inflicts significant emotions in the survivors lol

[ruralcat]

this may be because i am just a hater but a ballad of songbirds and snakes sucked

#i listened to the audio book and the narrator was so bad which i think contributed to half of my dislike for the story #he would do this shrill “um actually” voice for Snow's classmates #and an annoying girlish tone for lucy and maude and the singing he did for both characters actually made my ears bleed #but i digress #i just didnt really like that snow's evil backstory is a manic pixie dream girl he killed #i wish it wasnt a love story i wish collins did something different with his character #i really loved his betrayal to sejanus it made so much sense for his character it worked so well applause for that one #and also sick how he stole sejanus' money from behind the photo frame after executing him #sent it to tigress to have money #and then intercepted it before it entered the capitol to use for himself #all that just to become the heir of sejanus' grieving parents lmao #dirty dirty dirty #last point i loved how they didnt include snow's betrayal to Tigress in this novel #i was even thinking in the beginning of the novel that i hope snow does not betray tigress in his youth #just bc ... idk.. so much happens in our lives. and for his evil to all be explained in snow's life only from this age of 17/18 would feel #lazy #so yeah grateful for that slay suzanne collins slay

[keptthepieces]

just another diary entry obvs

#i still feel so sad #yk i mean i take things very deeply very personally im sure some people remember may '21 lol #but this is just very hard for me because im so confused #why would you let resentment build towards someone about something they dont even know theyre doing to bother you #to the point that youre hurting the other person and they dont even know why for the longest time #it hurts a lot it wasnt even addressed at all until i brought it up bcs i couldn't stand not knowing and yet feeling so hurt and confused #i needed to know it wasn't in my head and i was right #but now im second guessing everything they talked to me so normally said they care about me all the way up until the day before #but ive felt the distance for a while so do they love me like they said or was that not true #if they dont then im such an idiot i really care about them i really respect them and love them #idk im really hurting very badly #really stupid for a 25 yr old to feel so hurt because they annoyed someone #but i just wish it was addressed sooner and for someone who prides themselves on being open and honest and direct.. #it feels like they maybe just didnt care enough to talk to me about it. #so yk maybe they dont care about me. #which also feels like an offensive conclusion to come to about them when they dont lie and value honesty and openness so much #i dont want to think they dont love me bcs i do think i know them pretty well i do think theyd never lie about that #but maybe ive only convinced myself of that because it would hurt far worse if they didnt #whatever anyways im so stupid and i know i must have fucked things up by being too much again. #ill leave them alone and the hurt will ease up eventually #their friendship has meant a lot to me theyve done a lot for me i dont want to lose it completely i really dont #i just dont regulate well how much i care for my friends and its too much sometimes its one of the worst things about me #but i genuinely want my friends to know theyre loved and thought of and cared about and i mean it #and i cant always tell when i hit overbearing so i fuck things up. #anyways i am sorry i made someone i care about feel overwhelmed and i regret that i made them uncomfortable for i dont even know how long #im hurt but thats the worst thing i couldve done #okay ill shut up now stop talking about it its just still fresh to me obviously cant talk abt it on twt and they dont follow me here #i needed to vent without my irl friends 'fuck them' attitude bcs theyre a good person and friend and it does feel like its only my fault #for the most part anyways minus yk the communication bit #but we'll circle back to the do they even count us friends doubts and we dont need that ill move on now needed to get it off my chest