#and i. dont want to go so bad

[heartorbit]

stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈

#stupid idiot forgot his mittens. to the shredder #merry yurimas. #polysho #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #tsukasa tenma #nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #proseka #Oh my god im waking uo for the stupid broadcast in like 6 hours im dumb as fuck #WEH. WEH #merry whatever the fuck #AUUUUUU excited to have nothing to do and draw for myself for um 12.. days. Oh my god theres only 12 days til 2nd sem. Oh fuck everything #I NEED TO DRAAAAAAAAW. #guys help i was going to draw song covers i want but i need to sleep cause i have stuff tomorrow but listen #if rks gets a snobbism cover i called it. Ok? ok. #i think it would be funny and just if they dont get another duet again. get the ruinene treatment. CAN WE FREE RNN ACTUALLY ITS CHRISTMAS #what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please. #literally played nijiro stories on repeat while drawing this we need them back #fucking NBOODY TOOOOLD ME ITS EMUKASA WEEK ON STIPID TWITTER IM NOOOOTHING IM NOTHIN #i usually acknowledge that i dont have the moxy to do fanweeks but i really want to be drawing more and faster so i will participate. #emurui week is like march iirc. you wont get away from me this time.

[tubbytarchia]

gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)

#ethubs #Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile #hey ethubers how did you. survive #last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end #The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than #telling him to prove himself #its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know.. #without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them #dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR #I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday #also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot #does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead #tubby art

[ttec777]

Javi Escuella

I'm back, college is kicking my ass. But hey, I started playing rdr2.

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #javier escuella #javier escuella fanart #I dont know how to draw guitars #I want to play rdr2 so bad but I have not been able to in the last 2 weeks amd I'm going insane #wow why are the colors so saturated on cell phones

[sneez]

pathologic but it's a lost 1920s german expressionist film [id under cut]

[id:

image 1: a digital drawing of a fake poster, using bright colours and rough, painterly brushstrokes. the title, 'pest' (german for 'plague'), is written at the top in spiky black text. in the foreground a man dressed as a tragedian is staring intently at the viewer, his hands raised and splayed as if in horror. in the background, the town is framed against a red sky, with the polyhedron in yellow behind.

images 2 and 3: fake casting sheets for the film, with the names of the actors and the characters they are playing above a black-and-white portrait photograph of them. all the text is in german. in english it reads: 'Pest', a film by Robert Wiene Alfred Abel as Victor Kain Ernst Busch as Grief Lil Dagover as Katerina Saburova Ernst Deutsch as the Bachelor Carl de Vogt as Vlad the Younger Marlene Dietrich as the Inquisitor Willy Fritsch as Mark Immortell Alexander Granach as Andrey and Peter Stamatin Bernhard Goetzke as General Block Dolly Haas as the Changeling Ludwig Hartau as the Haruspex Brigitte Helm as Anna Angel Brigitte Horney as Maria Kaina Emil Jannings as Big Vlad Gerda Maurus as Yulia Lyuricheva Lothar Menhert as Georgiy Kain Asta Nielsen as Lara Ravel Ossi Oswalda as Eva Yan Fritz Rasp as Stanislas Rubin Conrad Veidt as Alexander Saburov and Tragedian Paul Wegener as Oyun Gertrud Welcker as Aspity

image 4: four digital sketches of set designs for various locations. all are strongly influenced by expressionist imagery, using extreme angles, warped perspective, and dramatic shapes. they are labelled 'street 1' (a street lined with houses), 'street 2' (a square with a lamppost and a set of steps), 'polyhedron exterior' (the polyhedron walkway), and 'cathedral interior' (the dais at the far end of the cathedral).

image 5: four digital drawings in a black-and-white watercolour style, showing fake stills from the film. all are similarly distorted and lit by dramatic lighting. the first shows katerina's bedroom, with katerina standing in the centre of the floor. the second shows the interior of an infected house. the third shows daniil staring out of the frame in horror, one hand on his head and the other raised as if to ward something off. the fourth shows an intertitle with jagged white text reading 'the first day' against a dark background.

end id.]

#pathologic #artwork #conrad veidt #(i know there are many other actors but i dont have tags for them my bad) #anyway :D this has been my brain project for the past week or so i have been thinking about it so much #i have so many more things i want to draw for it but i am trying to hold myself back. for the sake of my Wrists #also obviously the cast list is way whiter than it should be for pathologic but german expressionist cinema was not particularly diverse an #i was trying to go for realism so apologies for that #i had so much fun with these i dont normally draw locations because i prefer drawing people but i found it so much more enjoyable #when i could mess around with the perspective and make stuff look wacky. thank you expressionism i love you expressionism #also it goes without saying that i was most heavily inspired by the cabinet of dr caligari (which is why i went with robert wiene. he would #do such a great job i think) #i hope you are all well my friends :D kiss you

[vinieer]

Minecraft people have invaded my sketchbook

#secret life #secret life fanart #life series fanart #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #etho #ethoslab #grian #also very smol lizzie and jimmy #i wanted to redraw lizzie and then realized i dont own glue OR tape so #that clip is stuck here now... forever... #artwork #sketchbook art #sorry im really bad at trad art i dont go there lol

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[jaegerdilf]

pairings: mammon x f! reader

warnings: cum play + scent marking ? + jealousy + plus size! reader + oral + fingering + exhibtionism + blood + spit

💌: miss writing soso much n mammon brainrot is horrible so hear me out!!!!

mammon with a big girl is something that just sounds perfect to me… he’s so jealous n greedy ‘nd is obsessed with claiming you in the messiest n most carnal way <3 he’s obsessed with marking you with his cum and his seed is so messy n potent n he cums soso much it’s almost overwhelming. he’ll cum on your tits, face, tummy and on your cunt because he loves the thought of other demons being able to smell him on you even after you’re all cleaned up afterwards. their sense of smell is superior to humans so even if you think you’re fine, they’ll still be wary of getting too close because his scent’s just that strong and who in their right mind would want to provoke one of the avatars of sin?

he’ll paw at your tummy and grip your hips so tight it leaves you sore, completely enamored with how you look beneath him, covered in cum and spit yet still begging for more. splays a hand across your tummy while his cock is still ballsdeep in your sensitive cunt and presses down, his sticky semen gushing out around his dick because there’s just so much inside.

mammon’s a biter too… puts his sharp teeth to use when in his demon form and leaves lovebites on your chest n thighs and even across your stomach <3 laves his tongue over the marks when they start to bleed a bit because he accidentally sank his teeth a little too deep in your soft skin.

if he’s feeling a little possessive, he’ll stuff your cunt and have you keep his cum inside n take you around the devildom, a knowing smirk on his face because he can hear even the slightest hitch of your breath and smell how aroused the thought of him showing you off makes you <3

he can never get enough of you either, always has to use you whenever he wants because his greed is uncontrollable. draws orgasm after orgasm from you, nearly salivating because you’re just as selfish as he is! wrapping a hand around his wrist while he’s fingering you or clenching your thighs around his head while he eats you out because you need to cum and you’ll do anything to reach your climax

#♡.confectionary #i wnt to write so bad but im not rdy to go to my main blog bc its soooo toxic #also want to write for obey me!!!!! someone send thoughts thnks <333 #if this is bad pls dont be too harsh :( i havent written in a while #🍭.creampies #🍭.biting #🍭.blood #🍭.chubby reader #🍭.fingering #🍭.oral #🍭.cum play #🍭.exhibitionism #🍭.scent kink #🍭.spit #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me smut #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon smut #mammon x reader smut

[kelocitta]

In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-

Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.

To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)

And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.

Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.

The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.

They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri

#rain world #rw shipping #tagging that just cause this is explicitly about that even though I usually dont do shipping stuff #with that said i dont even think this particular interpretation of a possible dynamic needs to be romantic its just kinda #about companionship in general. companionship thats going to absolutely shred an already unstable slug emotionally but thats #the point. friendship and love in spite of the unavoidable ending #just noticed this is like 80% theme analysis and 20% 'these go together just trust me' #but also theyre both girls because i want them to and also because im channeling hornet from hollow knight #who made me so deeply ill that my rain world tags still havent outcompeted my Hk tags because i drew her so much. so so much. #hunter is hornet coded to me and artificer is like if angela and gebura from lc combined into a deeply fucked up ferret #also i did tag the poll because they kinda inspired this but also. i wasnt gonna put all this out here WITHOUT a readmore thats embarassing #but i guess this is propaganda for a ship already seen as popular but like... idk i think theres something to it even as someone #who did literally slap them together originally because they were both red slugcats i considered girls. predownpour so we didnt have anythi #anyway hi tag readers i have so much work to do im being bad by writing about gay slugs. i need to get myself together #its so late this might just be nonsense bwaaaaaaa

[heartorbit]

a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^

#project sekai #emu otori #the usernames are all their public twts so if you use that evil platform check out their art ^_^ #many of them are on here with the same users even.. be gone from my sight vile bird #the one on the bottom right is Mine but ive never had an artstyle in my life so it may not be obvious to the viewers. sorry. #pjsk #prsk #proseka #only my beautiful mutuals beautiful art can make me do LINEART #i was going to ask on here but realized i dont have mutuals bc this is a side blog. sniffle. hell on earth #I dont have much to scream in the tags. semester is almost over. Im sleepy. I designed emu a huge seord for an assignment #but the 3d model turned out Bad. it looks ok from the top but you turn it and see Problems. #its been a month or so since i modelled that and i have gotten better so i want to try again with no time crunch + pressure #its a fun looking sword. magical girl sword type shit #EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE LITTLE PRINCE WXS STUFF I END UP AWAKE UNTIL 3AM BECAUse it GETS TO ME #WAAAAAAAAAUHGH. I HAVE CLASS IN 11 HOURS #GOODNIGHT. IT WILL BE AS IF ALL THE STARS WERE LAUGHING. #oh my god wait i did this this weekend bc i was like yaay i have a weekend without any assignments due #I just forgot abt one. Bc my email hasnt been working properly and didnt send me the reminder for it. i will spend my tuesdah drawing a gun

[fossil-creek]

Losing my mind over the current harvey renaissance..

#harvey sdv #harvey #harvey stardew valley #stardew valley #stardew fanart #harvey sdv fanart #I WANT HIM SO BAD YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND #husband (in game) #hes so sweet #i love him so much im going to eat my brain

[introspectivememories]

The model!Bernard is great but wouldn’t it be mostly likely Tim to be the model since he is a public figure?

yeah ig, logically, tim would be more likely to model than bear but i was thinking of this image when writing that

the og image gives off a sense longing more than horniess but i'm tired of making everything sad. also i just think bear is pretty enough to model. like look at him. this tim and this bear

or wait, fuck, this tim and this bear

model!bear and ceo!tim become gotham's it couple. the tabloids can't stop reporting on it. there's a new breakup rumor every week. the wayne fanbase on twt goes rabid over it. there are fansites dedicated to them. @/imyellingtimber, @downbadfordowd, @drakeinpants, the whole works. they get married and the internet breaks.

#i actually dont really like that first pic of tim. i think he looks too much like a child but i Love that haircut on him #that 2nd pic of tim.... going feral #he needs to bring that haircut back #bear is gorgeous as always #there is no bad bear photo #also obsessed with the idea of bear running a couples tt ac #but like tim is not on tt so bear gets him to do all the trends with him #all of the comment section is just filled with 'im sleeping on the freeway tonight' #also the og image giving off a sense of longingness... if i made the hc true to the image then tim would've /had/ to be the model #cause if you want longing then bear post!shooting has loads of it #and i didn't want to make it sad. #thanks for the ask! #asks #introspective.txt #bernard dowd #tim drake #timbern

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ

also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #chase young #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #rc9gn plop plop #well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long. #i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane #no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going #to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT #its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi #not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee #also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!! #ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso #Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM #but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW #so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn

[zan0tix]

DIRKJAKE!!! AAAH!!!

#Im very very bad at doing fandom week things but i atleast wanted to post Something for dirkjake week so here you go.. #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck #my art #zan0tix #This post is so messy but I DONT CARE #Dont ask me for the vrchat models THEY ARENT PUBLIC YET

[jvzebel-x]

here's an update for all the "tOuRiSm iS fOr ThE pEoPlE" fucks. always remember that the second anyone steps foot on that land in the name of "tourism" or any other haole institution, that is colonizing&that person is a fucking explicit modern colonizer who made the conscious decision to be one and has spent a lot of fucking money on that trip to get their title. only that kine want more of their kin there-- don't pretend that shit is for anyone else.

drop dead of spontaneous combustion specifically, not even the sharks would want that pīlau fucking meat.

#video footage of haole families already in burnt wasteland is so fucking dystopic its almost funny #'funny' in the way of 'i might have rabies bc im foaming at the mouth lol'. bc fuck if i wouldnt literally #rip these ppl to fucking shreds. god bless whoever took the pics&vids bc i couldnt havd held my tongue. #you know we're all fucked when the governor is holding private back-chamber business-only meetings #to decide to open a fire wasteland two months after 1000+ ppl were killed&where ppl are still looking for remains to tourism #&it honestly seems so much less disgusting bc theres literally footage of haole families already disregarding any form of boundaries. #like this is what we've come to lmao. #i have so. much. violence. in me&no where to put it lmao. i want to go home. i miss home so bad. i am so fucking homesick. #i think the next person who responds to finding out im from hawaii w anecdotes of their trip there will probably get knocked out. #like i dont actually think i should be held responsible for that first hit. anything after is fair game tho i guess. #undescribed

[pineappical]

in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊

there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.

and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺

I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛

#ted lasso #trent crimm #tedependent #ted lasso fanart #tedtrent #ted x trent #I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3 #im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since #dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was #richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc #ted lasso spoilers #<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT. #i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me* #he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane #being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn #also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush #pn.art #JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG #my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u #ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH #im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!! #<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!! #THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3

[mueritos]

i hope we continue to see more protests within the US military. i see a lot of leftists and folks who are anti-military who have such an open disdain for the people who are in the military, yet neglect to considering the conditions this country makes to produce ideology, poverty, and the illusion of choice to make all kinds of people choose to enlist in the military. You ever see those videos of ROTC kids recording each other asking why they joined the military and everyone's like, "healthcare", "it helped me go to college", "I was bored" or "free ptsd lol". I hate to remind everyone but folks who are in the military are people, too, and they are the same victims and perpetrators of violence as the rest of you, we have all been shallowly conditioned to view each other as enemies just because one person is wearing army greens and the other is not.

some of the biggest anti-war advocates are those who engaged in war. Veterans who genuinely believed they were protecting the US against "terrorism" come back with blood on their hands, and they choose to realize that it was US imperialism that forced them to carry out violence, instead of doubling down and shielding themselves from the fact that they too are capable of atrocities... This is a class of people who are intentionally conditioned to be as poor and as ideologically aligned to US imperialism so that the military has a never-ending pool to send their youth to destroy other country's youth. The only people I have ever heard say "do not join the military" are those who ARE military.

This is in no way to ever excuse or explain away any of the atrocious war crimes and violence this industry and its people have committed against others. What I am saying is that we absolutely cannot cast aside the individuals who have been victimized within US imperialism, even if they are wearing army greens. I was speaking with my Palestinian classmate last week and another classmate--a member of the US air force-- walked up to me and struck up a conversation. My military classmate showed me her new bird, bid both of us goodbye, and left. My Palestinian classmate asked me if I was close with her, and I said we talked quite often, and she said, "I never met a person who's in the military. I still hate the military, but I never knew that they did, too. I didn't realize that they were also victims."

If my Palestinian classmate--one who is actively watching her own community die--can understand that it is not individuals who are the problem but it is in fact systems, US imperialism, white supremacy, capitalism...why can't we all? And she has EVERY reason to hate any individual military member. A lot of online activism just creates more barriers. if your optics look bad, complicated, or contradictory, you are cast aside. Everyone has got the be the perfect activist, you can never make a mistake or share a half-baked thought, you should always believe every word from a marginalized persons mouth (because being marginalized doesn't mean you're not entrenched in white supremacy too!) and you should never question what you see...Do you know what you sound like? The very imperialists who are convincing poor whites to vote against themselves. Perfectionism is white supremacy. Black & white thinking is white supremacy.

I'd rather have a military member who genuinely believed in the US imperialism machine but was disillusioned after being deployed as my comrade than some leftist who cherishes the performance of "being a good person". I don't want "good people" in our movements. I want humans who care. I want humans who make mistakes and who learn from them. I want humans who accept the messiness of a person. I want humans who hold others accountable and allow themselves to take responsibility for their actions. I want people who change for themselves and others.

fight systems, not individual people. we can change each other, but if we're too preoccupied looking like the World's Perfect Activists, we will only consume each other alive. Connect to your fellow humans, forever and always.

#muertotalks #a mind dump after seeing so much come out after the self immolation of the us air force member #i know hes not the first one to self immolate for palestine #and he might not be the last #i hate the military #i really fucking do #but i choose to see the people within them as victims within the overall system just like the rest of us #i will never go through what they did to make them choose to enlist #i never struggled with poverty homelessness healthcare or social acceptance #i wont shame them #shame is not productive #i want them to know there are civilians who support their protests #i want them to know that we their allies too #a note on my palestinian classmate #if youre arab or also a colonized person impacted by the us military feel free to hate every member of the military #i dont intend to police yall in how you choose to feel your anger #im angry with you #the point i mean to make is about understanding and compassion #someone who has every right to hate these people still chose to see them as the people they are #yes i even want the best for the “bad” people in the military too #i dont want these people to continue the ideology but we cant stop that without dismantling these systems #and we cant do that without creating spaces for healing and reform and growth #so many thoughts so many thoughts #none of this is easy #i fight daily against impulsively hating the world #everyday is a fight to choose compassion and understanding #but being a leftist and doing leftism is not fucking easy #if you genuinely think it is it isnt #and you may be missing the point of what leftism is #anyway