#and i was queuing for the reguster that had stamps and handles packages

[perilegs]

every time i try to do something scary on purpose for my social anxiety the universe decides to add in unexpected situations 😔

#i was supposed to go pick up a package and then i was like. ok wait. ive gotten good at buying something while pickiing a package up. what #if i also buy stamps #bc you have to ask the cashier for those (same as with the package) #and it was just at my cornerstore so it's a safe nonscary environment #well. as not-scary as any store can be. #but. there were a lot of ppl there. which! i thought would be fine bc the line was still relatively short but. what happened was that they #opened another register. #and i was queuing for the reguster that had stamps and handles packages #and i would have loved to stay at the queue. but. only one person went to the queue of the new register. so there were 2 ppl in line before #me. one already had their stuff on the conveyor belt and the other was about to put their stuff there too #and the person who went to the other register only had like 2 things to buy. so. it was me. in line behind 2 people. versus an almost #empty register. so. i had to switch to the free register before the cashier had the time to b like 'there's a free register here!' #bc i don't have a script for hearing that and saying 'no' !!! #so i just. switched over and bought my snacks. leaving the store with no package and no stamps. #bc if i hadnt i would have had to say something i dont have a social script for and probably stumbled on my words and gone red and dizzy #which. not ideal. #and this sucks ass bc all i really needed was one (1) success in a social situation #bc this week has been kicking my ass social anxiety wise #usually when i go and get coffee from a coffeeshop they dont ask me shit and just make my order to regular milk which. ok. i dont have an #allergy or anything. i just think plant alternatives taste better in coffee #but this week. i got asked 'do you want that in regular milk?' and i was not expecting that #so i was like 'yes please 😊' and drank my grossly milky coffee dreaming about what i could have had #and that happened TWICE #after the first time i did think about it and decide i could have said 'do you have oat milk or something' and then the barista #could have either said yes or no and both of those would b easy to answer #but instead of asking if they have oat milk i just said yes. again. #can you guys imagine some people speak without being scared #some people even go to the store without feeling even an ounce of fear. imagine #leevi talks