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drarrily-we-row-along · 7 months

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Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?

#please send help #c rambles #i'm ace and i'm having a hard time with it #genuinely- I do know this is way too much information #I won't blame anyone if no one reads all of this #but i'll love you forever if you reply with something that makes me feel a little less lost and terrified #ace

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mercyisms · 2 years

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Niche Nona liveblogging: Day Three - Five

And we continue my copious and niche note-taking and very predictable reactions. Previous and future installations can be found here. Spoilers for up to page 282 in the hardcover or up until Day Five. Also very, deeply cool to reblog or reply or come yell in my askbox. Whatever you please.

Puppy love “just made you want to open the puppy’s lips and play with the puppy’s teeth.” God. Some of these observations are simply too good. Pouring several out at “You’d never act like you were married to me” and “Landmine people” (at first sight!?) and “I mean, also redheads. Love a redhead.” Pyrrha Dve I am still free on Monday, on Tuesday, on Wednesday and my hair is very technically red. I’ll work on the Molotov cocktail personality. We have clocked Nona’s skin being described as an egg carton (brown ones, I assume? Not grey) and Corona having “skin like amber.” We are very much paying attention to these descriptions. “Crown Him with Many Crowns Thy Full Galant Legions He Found It in Him to Forgive” – I don’t have Wake’s full name handy right now, but we are noting the gender happening in “Crown Him” but also that hymn is pared with what I am seeing is an excerpt from the Côte d'Ivoire national anthem (Thy Full Galant Legions) plus a song by Dominion Road called Mutiny Within. Mutiny Within, well! That seems very apt for Coronabeth. But with the play off of Dominion Road, we have three name-parts that all evoke sovereignty. Fitting + perhaps this will idk be mobilized in some way in the text. (Also compare “He Found it in Him to Forgive” with John’s professed “There can be no forgiveness.” Possibly a useful ideological difference to map?) Noting the portrait of Wake (Pyrrrhaaaa) but also the plastic flowers, which is very logical but a bit different from Blood of Eden’s previous associations with more organic substances. Then again, war zone commanders can’t, we suspect, be choosers. (Though, of course, they were never entirely organic! Just thinking, thinking.) “Let us move on from playing games with how clever and how old you are. I am not impressed, and they annoy my colleague.” + “Yes. Good. The intel, I mean, not anybody’s romantic history, which I abhor.” I do not abhor We Suffer and We Suffer. In fact, I love her, and also while she would loathe it, there is a little slight waft of Mercymorn energy. I’ll say, I will. An itch, you see, of “mean lady” is being scratched. “When Nona was angry her cheeks went red and her voice got squeaky.” Terrifying implications for whoever’s body she’s in. Also Nona’s relative smallness to Coronabeth/Crown --> that’s a point in Harrow box, to be sure. “There were bones inlaid in the sides like fossils in a dried out riverbed…” Aesthetics of environmental collapse + frankly, the ship just sounds sexy (152). Great design. “Assume the worst, ignore the best… Do not catastrophe.” Wake content, we love to see it. Oh, also, of course the No Hopers comment is fascinating, though the extent of my knowledge on the historic/Christian adjacent “No Hopers” is Emily Dickinson. So. I’m noting it, but I’m likely not someone to take it up. Source Joyeuse and Source Piotra AND Source Aegis AND Source Chrysaor !! God I love all of these BACKSTABBING DEMI-GODS. Joyeuse and Aegis seem very straightforward as far as code names. I am totally unsure what to do with Augustine as Source Piotra?? Why? Is it to do with St. Peter and can someone explain that to me? Not sure why Cytherea’s been given the name of a dude who sprouted from Medusa’s fallen head / Pegasus’s… sibling? Y? But I love any mention of that beautiful, beloved, evil girl and it is very dramatic. I’m sure she’d like that. (How much say did the Lyctors have in their code names and did Mercymorn insist on absolute near-literality? If so, Mercymorn, your self-preservation game is so weak. I love you.) “Lyctors take the very flooring from beneath our feet. We cannot see them coming. We can never stop them. When they arrive the clock starts, and another home is taken away from us… our children stateless, our grandchildren perpetual nomads.” Love an insight into Lyctors-in-combat. Fascinating. Devastating. The worst part of me was dying to see some of those old fuckers fight, I must admit (156). “The Eighth was killed by something we don’t understand.” WHEN are we going to talk about the stoma and the teeth and WHATEVER happen to Colum?? What ate him??? My true, teethy love. It's necessary to talk about Chapter 13 all together, so the fact that Nona and only Nona hears the Captain (sensitive, immensely, to Varun/RB7?) say: “Dust of my dust…what shape they made you fill—we see you still—we seek you still…you misused green thing—come back to us—take vengeance for us” – I mean, this has to be RB sweet talk from one Resurrection Beast to another and I am deeply interested in listening to the planets talk and not in an astrology way. But also we are bookmarking “the Captain didn’t say anything when you came into the room. She only screamed.” & Nona’s capacity to understand the scream as language, and potentially screams as planetary (post-trauma? post-destruction?) language. IF all is as I assume, that’s a fascinating thread to pull on later. “Camilla was gone and then we met Harrowhark, and she came back” devastating, btw. “Love that melodrama. Is there Eighth somewhere in your family tree?” Please. Please. Show me the Eighth. Show me what Mercymorn and a nun (????) wrought and also, I am certain, abandoned. Show me this million-fold cult. “That meant Nona was only being ordinarily selfish, not dangerously selfish.” I love you, Nona. “You’re scared of Pyrrha, and you do think she’s nice-looking, but you’re confused when you think that so you don’t look at her very much. You want Camilla to cuddle you but not in a—a sexy way. I think you want Camilla to look at you like you look at me. And you’re in love with th—” [e Captain, surely.] Yum. Desperate to know, though, Coronabeth’s intel on The Saint of Duty & Gideon/Pyrrha’s inter-empire reputation per “I’ve heard too much of the Saint of Duty to trust Pyrrha Dve.” “That’s why I should ask you what I look like, and ask my sister what I’m feeling… You’ll always tell me I look beautiful and she’ll always tell me what I want her to think.” Equally invested in the Tridentarii situation but especially the implication that Corona believes she can deceive Ianthe (175). “He never liked losing control… he could not be coaxed to sleep unless she stood in the doorway, or in the worst times stroking her thumb between his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose.” A very ‘I am paying deep attention to the John/Alecto (??)’ vibes to you too (188). “M-- had brought her best friend, the nun” The stadium getting to their feet, chanting Cristabel! Cristabel! Cristabel! And I am the stadium, entire. Also of course the very neat “And then A—brought in his little brother who was a hedge fund manager. A—Junior was useless but he was a darling, I couldn’t fault A—for adding him into the mix.” Because of course Cristabel and Alfred are introduced together, as A—and M—were. We have completed a set that is very dear and darling to me. (Mildly losing it over Cristabel and Alfred being less named and rendered, instead, in the possessive in relation to A—and M—. I’m crawling the walls over it a little, actually.) Although, I will say, they are the detail throwing me most for a loop right now. I have to recalculate all of my assumptions about Cristabel and Alfred. Cristabel? Wildly competent and brisk and a nun?? Applying to and arguing with the Vatican? Insisting John keep office hours and learn practical lessons from Christ? I am listening. I am fascinated. I’m tearfully rolling up my weeaboo Cristabel headcanons and getting ready to replace them with new and equally dazzling colours. (Okay, but what if she has Neon Genesis Evangelion energy?? Did Madoka not die for our sins??? Here’s how weeaboo Cristabel can still win, etc.) Likewise, Alfred being Augustine’s younger brother and not older or a twin is the last thing I expected. Even more so than hedge fund manager. (God, what a family. I am imagining it now.) I really thought Augustine specifying he was a few inches taller than Alfred but clearly wearing heels was a secret little hint that they might be twins but Augustine had a warped and inflated ego. This, this is good too. “A—and M—were making black jokes about taking volunteers from the crowd for the skeleton army,” They future-hate each other. They can’t stop working together. They have the same sense of humour. They ruined my life. “I can’t believe nobody’s ever going to laugh at my jokes again… It’s all gone, I’m the only one left. It’s just me and you and no more jokes.” (193) Genuine pathos here, for me. This is truly John characterized at his most #millenial, this chapter. But ALSO cf. some of the early things I’ve pulled out around Nona and Nona/Alecto’s atonement to loneliness vs. the profound loneliness and isolation of John. And now: terrible occupation politics. Good. “Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, the Lyctor Prince, the Saint of Awe” + “Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia, heir to the First House, the Emperor’s only daughter” + “Tower Princes” – we note, of course, the Gender and this move to, with the end of the emperor’s lyctors, tower princes. Ianthe and Gideon being prices is very interesting to me. We also note that Cytherea’s naming convention (disliked by Augustine and Mercymorn, all too apt for G1deon) has been adopted by Ianthe, which is… fascinating. Also, John renaming Gideon with an Indigenous name and the pivot back? to Indigeneity in the empire – fascinating, rich stuff. Also I was today years old when I realized Gaius was maybe not a play on like “just some guy” or any of the characters from Tacitus et al. but potentially the masculine of Gaia as in Earth. God!!! “Pretending you can bandage bipeds” I cannot remember where I learned the fact that a vet is more ideal in an apocalypse situation than a doctor, but it’s in my brain and you can have it now too. (You want someone with more diverse than specialized knowledge, is the thought process.) (Again, I cannot remember where I learned this, so who knows if it’s valuable. I would also very much take a doctor in a doomsday situation, personally.) Which reminds me: this book is really making me wish I had a more useful degree to ingratiate myself to our future undead leader. And also it is, again, patently unfair that John is a science guy and that well-read. It’s not the unkillable thing that’s OP to me. It’s that he can quote Poe and do math. Smh. “Chance to be her, huh? A little independent living for once?” “It is my enormous privilege to be they.” I am very EYES EMOJI at whatever is happening with Angel but also with their gender more broadly. (215) I feel like I have not commented on how much I love all of Nona’s school friends, but I really do & think they are deployed ingeniously, I do. Perhaps we can discuss it later, but I fear I have more Old People adjacent things to transcribe. Sorry to teenagers everywhere. “[John] was scared of that—he was always scared of the water” (219). We are both fascinated by the scope of John’s powers but also comparing this to Nona’s (Alecto’s??) love of salt water… (CAN John swim? Asking for a friend.) “’Don’t follow me, I’m mad.’ … She wondered again why anything that hurt them only hurt briefly, but that anger took such a long time to go away.” (220) I’m. “When M—had been all, I will not accept those numbers, I will not accept a plan that incorporates reproductive injustice…” We stan a girlboss and a feminist. Also “I couldn’t follow, but A—could” – god, love an awful man who, again, can do mental quadratics. “M—freaked out…. And A—agreed with her, which was how you knew it was really, really bad.” 😊 Also if you knew how prominently generational ships had featured in my life this past year… And, like, that one forgotten Canadian generational ship show, where I think one wing of the ship is just Amish..? It sure is an idea. “They left you. They left you…. She said, ‘I don’t remember.’ He said, ‘I cannot forget.’” I mean, look, God being the only person (I assume, based on Mercymorn and Augustine having this gap in their memory as well) who can remember the death of the planet, and at the hand of trillionaires and ineffectual governments… and neither being able to forget or let go or forgive… and becoming that himself… It’s compelling stuff, I think. I think. (It’s very [redacted] of him. I need to run this take by someone before I post it outright, so, sorry, just noting it here so I remember.) “Another plastic echo of buttons. The same voice answers, but not the same person. The conversation that followed was filled with weird pauses, as though they were actors in a play who couldn’t quite get their cues right.” (229) Take this whole recorded conversation and pull my heart out through my eyeballs. Also adding it to latent thoughts abt sixth house epistolary forms. “Love and freedom don’t coexist, Warden.” A lot about love in this book, and all books, and this line… We are highlight it for later. (230) (“I am your end.” As in, I will destroy you? As in, I am where you reach your limits? Or I am your limits, your boundaries? Every way you cut it: good. A fun twist on ye olde oath.) “[Pyrrha] was teaching Nona how to dance.” Someone write that fic, too. Someone (Tamsyn) confirm or deny the number of terrible dad moves Pyrrha has or if she exactly dances or what. We note that Lemuria is a fake and sunken city. (239) “Edenites go through people like water… His dads are baggage.” (250) We remain interested in this third ‘civilian’ pov, but also belatedly noting that the increased proliferations of languages, genders, and family formations really does show you have regimented and controlled House life (or elite House life anyway, as we can only really speak for the upper-class representatives) is. It is smart and, again, revealing. “Time exited her body.” (255) re: depictions of violence, death, and John’s potential abilities. Also just very effective writing. “It was A—‘s little brother who said, Well you have to understand money is one big shared hallucination…” Obsessed with Alfred being a hedge fund guy who makes these caveats. I am listening, I am learning, I am adjusting my perception of Alfred Quinque. And also someone, apparently, semi to totally fluent in crypto. Incroyable. “M-- and A—were a united front, and that was scary as fuck. It was always frightening when they stood together.” We have been taking too many shots re: every time John points out A + M acting as a united pair!!! This feeds me. This truly does. “A—and M—looked at it, and looked at me, and they said, Do it.” + “And that’s when A—and M—stepped in to negotiate.” “They were hitting the table like in a police drama, like, We can end this whenever we want! The ball’s in our court!... I was like Wow, sorry guys, I don’t really know either of these two, they’re very unexpected and mean. I came here to have a good time and I think they’re being very harsh.” This alone could nourish me for weeks, but also Mercymorn/Augustine horrible TV serial AU when. Also deeply revealing for how John has always positioned himself, really. Characterization! We love it! His hands and his fingers and his gestures and his angry, way harsh fists. (274) “Nona… let out a long, bellowing scream, one that went on for ever and ever… and she was screaming blood as well as sound.” (276) Noting for scream-as-language purposes. Good. Good. Good. Good. God, this is so well structured. Inhuman how Tamsyn can say so much and plot so tightly and it’s all so fast as well. 300ish pages just whizzing by. The Acts are strong, etc. You know the drill, more from me here.

#nona the ninth #ntnspoilers #nona spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #m: nona liveblogging

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widderwise · 6 months

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BuffyTVS/Marvel Fic Idea

Timeline: the Buffy show happens in the late 90’s/early aughts (?) and ends before the (Marvel) Invasion of New York happens and makes ‘superheroes’ and ‘gods’ more commonplace. I headcannon that SHIELD is very okay with the old Watchers Council way of handling (controlling/abusing/neglecting slayers) and are happy to leave them be. I imagine they’re less cool with Buffy and co taking over to run it after the old Council is blown is killed by minions of the First. Thankfully, they’ll be too buys with Stark and co by then. Timelines can be adjusted to make things work.

So remember when Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara brought Buffy back to life by calling on Osiris (see Urn of Osiris)? Well, in my prompt Osiris (a cannon character in Marvel) exacts a price for the ritual to work. A few weeks after Buffy is successfully resurrected, they discover that Willow is pregnant and when the baby is born it has a symbol of Osiris on it somewhere. Could be an unknown father (demi-god?) or a mix of DNA from the four of them. A mix could have Xander’s magic unluck or a connection to the hyena, a touch of Anya’s past demon life, Willow and Tara’s magic.

The baby can be raised with the scoobies or not. Maybe sent away when Sunnydale evacuates for the last battle. Both Tara and Anya die by the end of the series, so maybe joint custody between Willow and Xander. Despite the mark the kids is as normal as a kid raised by witches, slayers, and watchers can be.

Until…

In the Moonknight series Arthur Harrow (former avatar of Khonshu and current devotee of Ammit) fights the Ennead (Egyptian gods that watch humanity and live in the Overvoid/Celestial Heliopolis), which is led by Osiris’ avatar, a man name Selim. Selim dies in the last fight to contain Ammit.

And when Selim dies… the child of the scoobies with the Osiris mark is empowered as Osiris’ avatar. Will the scoobies be accepting of that? Will they think their kid is evil/possessed?

Moonknight gets to meet the new avatar or Osiris, a slayer/witch/watcher raised possibly demigod. That surely can’t go badly.

I'll probably write at least a few scenes of this, but it would be OC heavy.

Demigod OC making friends in New Asguard? How do the Ennead and Asgardians get along? Does anyone know? Drop me a line! I'd love to read Moonknight comics but all I have atm is google and the mini-series.

#buffy the vampire slayer #buffyverse #willow rosenberg #xander harris #anyanka #moon knight #moonknight #marvel ennead #osiris marvel #fic ideas #marvel cinematic universe #marvel crossover #btvs #buffy summers

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spaceshipkat · 5 years

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Hi kat I also just finished that book you posted a review for and l loved it but as bisexual girl I absolutely hated the fact that a queer woman (possibly two if we’re counting Dulcinea but she was the villain so I wasn't upset) had to die at the end?? Am I being too critical?? Plus anything can happen in a world with necromancy

hi anon! y’know, despite being bi myself, i never thought of it that way (probably an oversight on my part, likely spurred by the flu).

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (since tumblr doesn’t always show the cut, i’m making it abundantly clear that if you don’t want to be spoiled for Gideon the Ninth, turn away now)

i think Harrow is also queer (i read Gideon as an allo lesbian and Harrow as a demi or ace lesbian, and maybe i’d even go so far as to call Camilla aroace), but the fact that Gideon died still stands. that said, i do think she’ll be back. my bestie and i talked about it a lot after i finished reading the book (she had an ARC so she read it before i did), and i don’t think that Gideon is actually gone. for one thing, we know that she’s a survivor despite other peoples’ greatest efforts, so it seems unlikely that she’s actually well and truly gone, no matter what the Emperor says (i don’t trust him, if i’m being honest). for another, why wouldn’t the Emperor be able to retrieve Gideon’s body (and both Camilla and Coronabeth, both still presumably alive) if he was able to retrieve both Ianthe and Harrow? it’s possible that killing Cytherea made some kind of explosion, but given we didn’t have any description of that i don’t think it’s entirely probable. Camilla wouldn’t die if the Emperor himself told her to, and Coronabeth was probably still hiding out in Canaan House. of those still alive the last time we saw them likely to be dead by now, it’d be the Second necromancer.

so that ramble is pretty much my way of saying that it’s unfortunate that Gideon died, but i don’t think she’s Officially Dead and therefore it didn’t really feel like burying a gay character to me. for the most part, Muir seemed respectful in what she wrote (iirc, however, there were a couple ableist lines that made me grimace, though i don’t remember them off the top of my head, again likely thanks to the flu), so i don’t think she’d bury her gays. of the characters whose sexualities we know, only the straight ones officially died.

#ask #anonymous #gideon the ninth #spoilers

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centrifuge-politics · 5 years

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Brick Club 4.3.7

Another terrible, if amusing, chapter title translation. “À tristesse, tristesse et demie” or “To Sadness, Sadness and a half.” Trust Wraxall to lose all the nuance of that line...

“In short, Jean Valjean cordially detested this young man.” Yeah, yeah, very fair. If a strange young man with “equivocal prudence and an awkward boldness” started hanging around really suspiciously without ever having spoken to them or introduced himself, I’d be on edge too.

“Ten years later, with the love of Marius in her heart, she would have answered: ‘Pedantic and insupportable to the sight! you are quite right!’” Oh no, I’m laughing and crying. Cosette: this is my pedantic husband, he’s utterly insupportable and I love him very much.

I think Hugo tries to make some generalizations that honestly just come across as very Cosette/Marius specific tropes. “The young girl does not allow herself to be caught in any toil, the young man falls into all.” First of all, this is just what happens when a disaster alignment and a distinguished alignment are in a romance. Second of all, Cosette was raised by a great dad and is possessed of self-confidence and Marius has never had a decent parental figure in his life ever and thinks girls laugh at him on the street. “This booby is madly in love with Cosette, but Cosette does not even know of his existence!” Every Luxembourg trip is now a spec-ops mission for Jean Dadjean. He’s drawing his battle maps, planning his tactics, gathering intel. Oh, Valjean, what were you going to do, have her live with you forever? Become like Gillenormand and his daughter? “Jean Valjean was hurt by this sadness, and harrowed by this gentleness.”

Cosette’s experiences are diverging from what Valjean is reasonably familiar with. I imagine this is a very common thing that any parent might experience with a teenaged child, they start becoming individuals outside your sphere of influence, you can no longer track their development of self. This feeling can only be exacerbated for Valjean and Cosette because they have a connection beyond blood, forged within some shared sense of hardship. And while Valjean feels he himself is past the point of recovery, Cosette is still growing and changing and needs exposure to experiences he doesn’t have and an understanding of a world he is a stranger to. “Jean Valjean had no experience of this misery, the only misery which is charming, and the only misery which he did not know.” Cosette needs friends, peers her age who feel the tribulations of adolescence with the same urgency she does. And Valjean needs someone who can tell him that this is all normal.

#brickclub #les mis #les miserables #4.3.7 #look at me talking like ive singlehandedly discovered the secret to enlightened parenting #its not really like knowing all of this would make valjean less sad #hed just know why he was...which might be worse??#like how he is after cosette and marius get married #anyways the next chapter got long and a bit content heavy so its going up separately #even tho im trying to catch up so bad

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nitrateglow · 7 years

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Movies watched in 2017 (1-10)

Last year, I watched tons of great movies, discovering Kubrick and Bergman and plenty other great filmmakers. 2017 has been a little slow—due to graduate school and my job, I have not been able to watch as many movies as I would like, but that’s alright. Anyways, I just saw my first ten new movies of the year and I want to share my thoughts on them with you all!

The Diary of a Lost Girl (dir. GW Pabst, 1929)

I wouldn’t call myself a member of the Louise Brooks cult, but this movie and Pandora’s Box have left me impressed. Those of us who are silent film devotees know that the best silent film actors are the ones who can do a lot with the smallest gestures and expressions—Louise Brooks was one of these. While the rest of The Diary of a Lost Girl is a standard fallen woman finds redemption story, Brooks’ acting and Pabst’s visuals are remarkable, elevating the slightest of stories. Once again, I am left with the impression that silent cinema was killed much too early. (8/10)

East of Eden (dir. Elia Kazan, 1955)

I never got James Dean until I saw this movie. Wow, he just steals the whole show, doesn’t he? He feels so raw and vulnerable here; for once, I connected with his character’s struggles, his quest for belonging and identity. The rest of the movie is solid too, dealing with themes of familial drama and blind patriotism. It captures WWI-era small town America well, even if Dean still looks like he stepped right out of a time machine. I heard the movie is but a snapshot of a segment of the John Steinbeck source novel, but still, what a snapshot! Apparently Steinbeck loved it too. (9/10)

Cat People (dir. Paul Schrader, 1982)

While individual elements of this movie work splendidly (Nastassja Kinski’s heroine and her sexual awakening, Malcolm McDowell as her religiously fanatical and incestuous brother, the eroticism, the synthesizer score, the gore, the New Orleans atmosphere), it just never gels. There are a few distracting plot holes and the pacing is awkward, often lagging. And while I know I might be slightly biased, I think McDowell should have had more presence as the antagonist; the most interesting dynamic was between Kinski and McDowell, one sibling wanting to live a normal life even if it means clinging to her virginity, the other willing to devolve into murder and incest just to be touched. It doesn’t help that the rest of the cast is underdeveloped and bland. I will say I respect that this remake tried to forge its own identity rather than plagiarize the original beat for beat. (6/10)

Johnny Belinda (dir. Jean Negulesco, 1948)

With its moody black and white cinematography and the violent rape which instigates much of the story, Johnny Belinda often feels like a film noir. It isn’t really—there’s too much hope for that to be a viable classification—but that hardly means this often harrowing story doesn’t make for a good movie. Jane Wyman is fantastic, her wordless performance stealing the movie from everyone else. Those who say there were no strong female characters before the 1970s (or even worse, the 2010s) can kiss my ass and watch this movie—the heroine is discriminated against for her disability and sexually assaulted, yet she still remains independent, kind, and firm, willing to protect her child in spite of those who would take it from her. If that ain’t strong, then I don’t know what is. (8/10)

Eraserhead (dir. David Lynch, 1977)

How can I even describe my thoughts about Eraserhead? It’s a movie I’m going to have to rewatch. I was astounded by its atmosphere and images. It’s like a bad dream about parenting and existential imprisonment—two of my own biggest anxieties! Lynch is definitely a director whose work I will try to view more of this year. (10/10)

Cleopatra (dir. Cecil B. DeMille, 1934)

CAMP. GLORIOUS CAMP. Claudette Colbert in revealing outfits, writhing against leopard skins while scantily-clad dancers whirl about in cat ears and tails. There’s something with the Romans. I don’t know. This movie was insane and over the top in the best possible way. (7/10)

The Ladykillers (dir. Alexander Mackendrick, 1955)

While not as successful a dark comedy as something like Ealing’s 1949 Kind Hearts and Coronets, The Ladykillers is nonetheless very clever and very funny. I love how callous it gets toward the end, just how ironic and dark it gets. (8/10)

The Young Girls of Rochefort (dir. Jacques Demy, 1967)

I am a huge Jacques Demy fan, so I was very excited to see this movie, his sunnier follow-up to the downbeat Umbrellas of Cherbourg. A homage to American musicals, The Young Girls of Rochefort is full of breeziness and energy, a celebration of small town dreamers shot with gorgeous 1960s aesthetics. Yeah, I don’t buy Catherine Deneuve as a ballerina and some of the music gets a little repetitive, but dammit, the movie is too fun to criticize—at least for me anyway. (9/10)

Elizabeth (dir. Shekhar Kapur, 1998)

Considering that this movie does not even try to be accurate, I won’t go into how it fails as a biopic. As entertainment, it fares a little better: Cate Blanchett is excellent in the lead role, summoning vulnerability and charisma, making you wish she had a superior script to work with, but alas. The costumes and sets are gorgeous, but the story kind of just meanders about. I was never bored and the movie does have its moments, but it left little impression on me afterward. (6/10)

The Rocky Road (dir. DW Griffith, 1910)

A standard picture for 1910, certainly not one of Griffith’s better short films, but The Rocky Road is worth seeing for sheer ‘what even’ value. It starts out like a standard anti-booze sermon with a man abandoning his long-suffering wife and infant daughter, but once the daughter is accidentally adopted by a wealthy family and then courts her own newly-rich father two decades later, the movie climaxes with a race to avert unwitting incest. I can’t even… (6/10)

#thoughts #movies watched in 2017

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years

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[Recap] STRANGER THINGS 2, Episodes 6-9: A Stunning Finish

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[Recap] STRANGER THINGS 2, Episodes 6-9: A Stunning Finish

I’m back with recaps of the final four episodes of season two of Netflix sensation Stranger Things. If you haven’t looked over the recaps for the first half, you can find them here. Alright, let’s dig in!

Episode 6 – “The Spy”

If things start to come together in episodes four and five, six is where Stranger Things season two really begins to deliver on its potential. Following Will (Noah Schnapp)’s seizures, Joyce (Winona Ryder), Hopper (David Harbour), and Mike (Finn Wolfhard) wind up at Hawkins Lab where Dr. Owens (Paul Reiser) and his team struggle to properly diagnose him. What is clear is that Will‘s memory is being affected by the otherworldly presence and, as the episode progresses, his amnesia is symptomatic of the fact that he can no longer be trusted.

It’s unfortunate that the titles of Stranger Things are so prominently displayed at the start of each episode, because the reveal that Will has broken bad is blatantly telegraphed. Despite this, I still found myself swept up in the action, especially when Steve (Joe Keery), Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo), Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin) and Max (Sadie Sink) wind up trapped at the abandoned car junkyard thanks to the appearance of multiple demi-dogs. Collectively the cliffhanger at the lab and Steve‘s near-death helps to ratchet up the momentum as the series heads into its final few episodes.

Odds and Ends:

The relationship building between Steve and Dustin is easily one of the episode highlights. Plus: the scene of the group walking along the train tracks is heavily evocative of Stephen King’s Stand By Me.

I’m no big fan of Nancy (Natalia Dyer) and Jonathan (Charlie Heaton)’s sojourn into conspiracy theory-ville with Murray (Brett Gelman), though his ability to diagnose their unrequited love affair is mildly amusing.

The fatal climax, in which Will‘s deliberately leads the soldiers into a trap, is a clear homage to James Cameron’s Aliens, right down to the images appearing on the radar screen. Love it.

This is the first episode of the series that doesn’t feature Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown).

Eleven’s standalone episode 2×07 “The Lost Sister” is a singular mistake

Episode 7 – “The Lost Sister”

UGH. I wanted to give this episode the benefit of a doubt, but five minutes in I began checking my watch. Then I did some laundry. Then I began surfing YouTube for funny cat videos.

Yes, folks, this is undoubtedly THE WORST episode of Stranger Things that the series has ever produced. Yes, it pays off Eleven‘s “family” arc by reuniting her with her titular “lost sister”, Kali (Linnea Berthelsen). Outside of teaching Eleven how to hone her powers and helping her to realize that Mike and the others are her real family, however, this is 55 minutes of duds-ville.

It got so bad that I began making jokey memes about its awfulness on Twitter to pass the time. Seriously, this is one to tell friends to avoid – as Alan Sepinwall of HitFix suggests, it plays more like a bizarre backdoor pilot for a spin-off series that no one asked for.

Odds and Ends:

This is the first episode of the series that doesn’t feature any of the rest of the regular cast.

When Kali and her friends give Eleven an 80s punk look, I couldn’t help but think of the iconic ditty from Clone High about makeovers. MAKEOVER!

This is your first Matthew Modine-cameo alert for S2.

Seriously, I’d like to know who thought this episode (and its timing in the season) was a good idea? The only element that I enjoyed was that weird moment where the episode turned into a home-invasion thriller in the vein of The Purge & The Strangers.

The harrowing escape from Hawkins Laboratory is a focal point of 2×08 “The Mind Flayer”

Episode 8 – “The Mind Flayer”

With the worst creative decision that Stranger Things has ever made firmly in the rearview mirror, “The Mind Flayer” picks up right after the cliffhanger from 2×06. The escape from the Hawkins Lab is superb, particularly the cross-cutting between Bob (Sean Astin)’s solo mission to reset the power and Dr. Owens‘ guidance on the surveillance cameras (shades of Jurassic Park). And while horror fans undoubtedly knew that the writing was on the wall for Bob the moment he was told his exit path was “home free,” his death – and Joyce‘s reaction to it – are well-done.

With the season’s big death crossed off, the time comes to reconvene the disparate groups at the Byers house and prepare for the big battle. This is the calm before the storm as everyone catches up and they strategically plot their options. I’ll confess that while I appreciate the effort made to gently address the lunacy of Dustin‘s Mind Flayer/hive mind connection plan, it’s pretty unbelievable that everyone basically just goes along with it.

Once again the focus returns to Will and, in a well-executed montage, the infected boy is awoken and treated to trips down memory lane that double as opportunities to communicate how to shut down the otherworldly threat (using Morse Code, naturally). With a plan in hand and time running out, the group is seemingly beseiged by demi-dogs when Eleven returns from Duffer Brothers purgatory to finally rejoin the main group. Thank goodness – let’s get this climax on the road!

Odds and Ends:

In an episode filled with highs, the extended scene of Billy (Dacre Montgomery)’s dad beating him up for losing track of Max just feels so unnecessary. It’s still unclear why this storyline needed to exist.

Eleven and Hopper’s reunion is one of the finale’s strongest emotional beats

Episode 9 – “The Gate”

Here we go – the big finale. If there’s anything surprising about this episode, it is how quickly the threat is dispensed with: we’re barely half through the episode when Eleven manages to close the gate. This winds up being a smart decision because it avoids a long, drawn out battle in favour of narrative and emotional closure for nearly all of the characters, while once again teasing another season of Stranger Things.

After coming together briefly last episode, our protagonists split into three groups: 1) Hopper and Eleven head for the gate, 2) Joyce, Jonathan, and Nancy create a home sauna to steam the demon out of Will and 3) the D-Listers (eventually) head back into the tunnels to draw attention away from the gate and clear a path for Eleven and Hopper. And barring the occasional hurdle, including – UGH – Billy, as well as one last encounter with D’Art, things more or less go to plan.

Of course I’m doing the finale a complete disservice by being so nonchalant. In all honestly “The Gate” is easily one of the most satisfying hours that the series has ever produced, hitting all of the right action AND emotional beats.

Let’s talk about each of those individually:

1) The action when Eleven goes up against the gate (and begins levitating!) is a stunning achievement. Visually (those special effects!) and aurally (that score!), the scene delivers a more bombastic finish than some big budget Hollywood tentpoles. Throw in Millie Bobby Brown’s absolutely commanding screen presence, masterfully conveying the entirety of Eleven‘s two season journey in a nearly silent performance and you have an absolutely killer sequence.

2) As significant an achievement as the action is, however, it would be nothing without the quieter moments. I was particular awestruck by Eleven and Hopper‘s extended conversation in the truck. There’s a reason why the Duffer Brothers paired these two together and while I complained about how repetitive their storyline was in the first few episodes, it really pays off here.

Ditto the moments when Mike attacks Hopper for lying to him and when Eleven and Mike lock eyes at the dance. These scenes only work because of our investment in these characters, so kudos on making us give a damn about these people in between all of the action and special effects.

Odds and Ends:

I mentioned last episode that I didn’t understand the point of Billy‘s storyline and aside from adding an additional obstacle to the team’s success, my opinions have not changed. I have nothing against Montgomery as an actor, but this was one addition too many in S2. Seeing Max finally stand up to her step-brother’s abuse (when he’s already drugged) just didn’t work for me.

Now that the Hawkins Lab has been shut down and Barb got her damn funeral, is this a wrap on #JusticeForBarb? PLEASE?

Nancy‘s pity dance with Dustin at the Snow Ball gave off some pretty heavy John Hughes vibes. If Stranger Things had been made in the 80s, I could easily see Molly Ringwald in the Nancy role.

So Joyce and Hopper are totally going to hook up now, right?

Finally, what do we think of the final teaser/twist? Personally I found it underwhelming (the Upside Down still exists? Colour me unsurprised!) but I appreciate that this is a way to hint that there’s more to come without undoing the narrative closure covered by the second half of this episode.

So that’s it for season two. What are your thoughts now that it’s all said and done? What do you expect to see in season three? Hit the comments below and sound off with your reactions and predictions.

#caleb mclaughlin #dacre montgomery #David Harbour #finn wolfhard #gaten matarazzo #horror on tv #millie bobby brown #Netflix Stranger Things #noah schnapp #paul reiser #sadie sink #sean astin #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things recap #The Duffer Brothers #winona ryder

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mastcomm · 4 years

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Demi Lovato’s Anguished ‘Anyone,’ and 11 More New Songs

Demi Lovato is 27, but has lived much longer. A former Disney star, and the one who consistently had the most conflicted relationship to that enterprise, she emerged in her late teenage years as a pop star with a big voice and unexpected edge. But she also struggled with addiction, and in 2018, she suffered an opioid overdose. “Anyone,” which she premiered at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night, is her first single since then — a pensive eruption, a harrowing peal. It moves slowly and determinedly, and not totally steadily, which is the point — recovery is not a straight line. The pain here is palpable, and Lovato wields it like a weapon and a shield. She’s a torch singer for our modern era, which asks too much of those too young, and doesn’t stop until it breaks them. JON CARAMANICA

Dua Lipa, ‘Physical’ Little Dragon, ‘Hold On’

Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick: There is hope for upbeat pop in 2020. The first song from a Little Dragon album due March 27 is an electro-soul benediction for an undramatic relationship set to a low simmer. The third track from Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” (out April 3) cleverly threads Olivia Newton-John’s 1981 song “Physical” through Lady Gaga’s album “The Fame.” It’s not as icon-clad as Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now,” but it has enough sizzle to winningly live up to the album’s title. CARYN GANZ

Torres, ‘Good Scare’

Torres — the singer and songwriter Mackenzie Scott — ponders the volatility of romance and the relation between life and art in “Good Scare” from her new album, “Silver Tongue.” Booming percussion and sustained electric guitar tones give her a spacious backdrop as she observes a partner who’s scaring her by “eyeing all the exits”; her reaction is to think about writing a country song. This is not one. JON PARELES

Sturgill Simpson, ‘A Good Look’

Will people learn line-dance moves from an anime? Sturgill Simpson, the insurgent roots-rocker, thinks they might. The underlying structure of “A Good Look” is funky blues-rock, but its sliding synthesizers and nonstop bass line make it feel machine-driven. And while Simpson is singing about all the things that compromise heartfelt songwriting — image, commerce, “you know they don’t like it when you take a stand” — the video clip is all artificial glee. Enjoy the paradox. PARELES

Meek Mill featuring Roddy Ricch, ‘Letter to Nipsey’

An earthy, uplifting tribute to Nipsey Hussle from Meek Mill with Roddy Ricch, one of Nipsey’s protégés. (They premiered it at the Grammys on Sunday.) Meek is in reflective storytelling mode, with scars still fresh: “When we lost you it really put some pain on me/Got me scared to go outside without that flame on me.” And Roddy sings his way through the pain. Even his melancholy is sweet, a balm for a feeling that’s never anything other than terrible. CARAMANICA

Kate Tempest, ‘Unholy Elixir’

“Our songs were spells and our spells were plain facts,” Kate Tempest declares in “Unholy Elixir.” She’s more a poet than a rapper, but her recordings make the music an equal partner. “Unholy Elixir” feels unstable but obstinate from the start, with deep, wavery, not-quite-in-tune synthesizers and a lurching beat; other synthesizer riffs arrive to turn the track into glowering synth-pop. Tempest confronts excuses for apathy — “don’t bother protesting because nobody listens” — but warns, “You better start sowing or there won’t be a harvest.” PARELES

Insistent, relentless six-beat patterns run nearly nonstop as Raphaelle Standell-Preston, of the Canadian band Braids, sings about lust overcoming rationality. Her “Young Buck,” she knows, is “the blaring example of what I am drawn towards/and should strongly move away from.” Layers of counterpoint accrue as her better judgment fades; it’s math-rock versus irresistible impulses. PARELES

Jah Wobble featuring Keith Levene, Richard Dudanski, Mark Stewart, Andy Weatherall and Youth, ‘A Very British Coup’

Jah Wobble, the original bass player in Public Image Ltd., and other post-punk alumni — Keith Levene from the early Clash and Public Image Ltd., Mark Stewart from the Pop Group, Youth from Killing Joke — greet Brexit with the fractious “A Very British Coup.” It’s a dense, ever-shifting collage, variously hinting at ska-punk, Britpop, fiddle tunes and “Sympathy for the Devil,” with barbed bits of lyrics like “sordid, sentimental, sick souvenirs” and “Even the devil sold his soul.” In 2020, post-punk disgust and cynicism aren’t dated. PARELES

Destroyer, ‘It Just Doesn’t Happen’

Dan Bejar, who records as Destroyer, has a fey tenor voice perfectly made for easy whimsy. But this is not a playful era, and he knows it. On his new album, “Have We Met,” the idiom he chose is the reverberant, electronics-enhanced, early MTV tone of confidence with hidden misgivings. “It Just Doesn’t Happen” begins, “You’re looking good/in spite of the light,” and that ambivalence persists; it’s a portrait of the artist as winner, loser and lost soul. PARELES

Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra (featuring Wayne Shorter), ‘Contemplation’

If Wayne Shorter is something like jazz’s Pablo Picasso — a master composer of the modern era who never abandoned tonality and form, but was constantly finding new ways to turn them upside down — then the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra works as a gilded frame to display his masterpieces. Members of the 15-piece big band, led by the trumpeter Wynton Marsalis, wrote arrangements of compositions from throughout Shorter’s career, and the orchestra performed them with him at Rose Hall in 2015. A glorious moment came on “Contemplation,” one of Shorter’s early works, first recorded with Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers in 1961. Playing it with the orchestra, he takes the tune’s only solo, subtly harking to the hollering style of the early R&B saxophonists he grew up hearing. But his blues phrasing often veers toward abstraction, his notes smearing and disappearing without an alibi — like a nose on a canvas shrewdly misplaced. GIOVANNI RUSSONELLO

The Westerlies, ‘Eli’

An arty quartet featuring two trumpeters and two trombonists, mixing ideas from jazz, new classical and Appalachian folk, the Westerlies don’t really have the option of doing a straightforward cover of most songs. That’s doubly true when they’re dealing with Arthur Russell, the experimental-pop cellist and vocalist. His music is about melody and counterpoint, but it’s also about the grain of his voice, and treating sound as humid atmosphere. On this rendition of Russell’s “Eli,” the Westerlies smartly lean into the tune’s blend of harmonic splendor and hollering lament — and they’re mindful of the need for some textural play. One of the trombonists folded tin foil across the bell of his horn, creating a restless sibilance underneath the crystal tones and rough growls of his bandmates. RUSSONELLO

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mastcomm · 4 years

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Demi Lovato’s Anguished ‘Anyone,’ and 11 More New Songs

Dua Lipa, ‘Physical’ Little Dragon, ‘Hold On’

Torres, ‘Good Scare’

Sturgill Simpson, ‘A Good Look’

Meek Mill featuring Roddy Ricch, ‘Letter to Nipsey’

Kate Tempest, ‘Unholy Elixir’

Jah Wobble featuring Keith Levene, Richard Dudanski, Mark Stewart, Andy Weatherall and Youth, ‘A Very British Coup’

Destroyer, ‘It Just Doesn’t Happen’

Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra (featuring Wayne Shorter), ‘Contemplation’

The Westerlies, ‘Eli’

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/demi-lovatos-anguished-anyone-and-11-more-new-songs/

#Entertainment

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years

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[Recap] STRANGER THINGS 2, Episodes 6-9: A Stunning Finish

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[Recap] STRANGER THINGS 2, Episodes 6-9: A Stunning Finish

Episode 6 – “The Spy”

Odds and Ends:

The fatal climax, in which Will‘s deliberately leads the soldiers into a trap, is a clear homage to James Cameron’s Aliens, right down to the images appearing on the radar screen. Love it.

This is the first episode of the series that doesn’t feature Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown).

Eleven’s standalone episode 2×07 “The Lost Sister” is a singular mistake

Episode 7 – “The Lost Sister”

UGH. I wanted to give this episode the benefit of a doubt, but five minutes in I began checking my watch. Then I did some laundry. Then I began surfing YouTube for funny cat videos.

Odds and Ends:

This is the first episode of the series that doesn’t feature any of the rest of the regular cast.

When Kali and her friends give Eleven an 80s punk look, I couldn’t help but think of the iconic ditty from Clone High about makeovers. MAKEOVER!

This is your first Matthew Modine-cameo alert for S2.

The harrowing escape from Hawkins Laboratory is a focal point of 2×08 “The Mind Flayer”

Episode 8 – “The Mind Flayer”

Odds and Ends:

Eleven and Hopper’s reunion is one of the finale’s strongest emotional beats

Episode 9 – “The Gate”

Let’s talk about each of those individually:

Odds and Ends:

Now that the Hawkins Lab has been shut down and Barb got her damn funeral, is this a wrap on #JusticeForBarb? PLEASE?

Nancy‘s pity dance with Dustin at the Snow Ball gave off some pretty heavy John Hughes vibes. If Stranger Things had been made in the 80s, I could easily see Molly Ringwald in the Nancy role.

So Joyce and Hopper are totally going to hook up now, right?

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