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hippolotamus · 8 days

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WIP Wednesday ☕

Tagged by the lovely and talented @theotherbuckley @tizniz @daffi-990 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @dangerpronebuddie

@spotsandsocks @indestructibleheart @racerchix21 Please go visit their amazing snips, audio and art! 💖

It's still Wednesday somewhere right? Ok, so this post about Tommy grabbing Buck's hoodie from @whollyjoly has been haunting me (in the best possible way) for a few weeks. Earlier today it came up when I was chatting with Bee and, well, here we are. From my brain to your dash.

Tommy is... well, to say he's not a morning person is a bit of an understatement. The only reason he prefers to see the sun come up is because he hasn't gone to bed yet. So, when Coleson lands in the hospital for appendicitis and shifts get moved, Tommy is less than thrilled. But, it's his job - his career - that he happens to enjoy very much. He gives himself two minutes to grumble before telling himself to get over it. Telling Evan had been even less fun. He understands, of course. They've both been in the business long enough to understand that things change and being flexible is par for the course. It's just that they finally seemed to have gotten into a decent cadence with their schedules and figuring out how to have regular date nights where they aren't exhausted or rushing off to a shift. C'est la vie or whatever. "Five more minutes?" Evan mumbles, tightening his hold as Tommy tries to extricate himself. He chuckles and rubs his thumb over Evan's birthmark. "That was your five more, baby." Evan slowly blinks his eyes open and pouts unapologetically. "Don't even try because it won't work," Tommy says. "Unless you've got some secret in with my boss that will let me be late.” "No." Evan somehow manages to pout even more. "But it was worth a shot, right?" Warmth floods through his chest, radiating out like liquid sunshine. The temptation to call off and stay in bed all day is overwhelming. But Tommy's a big boy. As such he's going to win the war over Evan's incredibly adorable puppy eyes and go to work. "It was a valiant effort." Tommy kisses the tip of Evan's nose before capturing his lips, morning breath be damned. "Better luck next time, kid." "Go. You're gonna be late." Evan playfully shoves his shoulder. It's so easy and fun and light and- what was it Casey McQuiston wrote? Oh, right. Alex is so in love he could die. That. That's what Tommy feels. He just hopes Evan doesn't run when Tommy finally gets the courage to say it out loud. He leans in for one more kiss before shimmying out from under the covers. The extra five minutes he gave Evan turned out to be closer to fifteen and now he has to rush to throw himself together. He allows for a quick rinse in the shower before hastily throwing on jeans, a tee and hoodie. "Thanks, babe." Tommy takes the travel mug of coffee Evan hands him and settles for giving him a peck on the cheek so he doesn't undo all the work of trying to be on time. "Be safe," Evan says, no less sincere than the first time. It's said with care, as part of this ritual they're developing. Not because it's a habit or a meaningless platitude. But because it’s intentional. “Of course.”

It is crazy late so take this for today or another tag day. LMK if you'd rather not be tagged for BuckTommy stuff. I get it's not everyone's jam. np tagging:

@actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @loveyouanyway @a-noble-dragon @mountedeverest

@fortheloveofbuddie @weewootruck @saybiwithme mi amor @bidisasterevankinard @shipperqueen6

@ramonaflow @stereopticons @kitteneddiediaz @mrs-f-darcy @diazsdimples

@drowsy-quill @your-catfish-friend @thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @wikiangela

@underwaterninja13 LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings @queenmabcreates

@inell @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes @shortsighted-owl @queerbuckleys

@bi-buckrights @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck

@ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything

@the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @welcometololaland

@wildlife4life and anyone else who wants to 😘

#hippo writes #bucktommy #tommy kinard: unintentional clothes thief #can’t wait for him to get to harbor and have lucy see him #wip wednesday #one day i promise the beans for a single thing will stick #it’s very frustrating rn #i just wanna get back to Mirrorball #*cries in frustrated author*

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knightmareaceblue · 2 years

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So how did Sven, Burt, Reg, and Right tell the rest of the clan of their retirement in VS?

Don't feel like drawing for this, and I do want to write about stuff that happens after VS at some point, so I'll just give some brief summaries.

--------------------

Charles and Henry have a lot of healing to do after VS, and that hasn't quite ended after a year's time. The state of Henry's soul affected not only his mental health, but his physical health as well. Charles has been dealing with some guilt issues and can sometimes get overwhelmed by everything they need to do. They'd also developed some co-dependency issues after everything.

But their lives are not bad at all. They're both getting the therapy they need and coping as best they can. Henry has reopened his detective business alongside Charels in Ebott City, and gets plenty of work from the general, the city council, and the monster government. Henry has also developed a stronger friendship with Alphys and, by extension, Undyne. Charles is also quite friendly with the monsters, and is making friends with a lot of them. Henry gets sick a lot, but has Charles, Galeforce, and their other friends to help him out when he does. Charles gets his robot body, and switches between using that and his ghost form regularly. Henry's soul is also on the mend, the white parts slowly becoming redder. Alphys estimated about eight to nine years before he's completely healed. Maybe longer, if he acts like an idiot. He doesn't have the greenlight to use magic yet, and hasn't tried. Henry still can't talk.

In terms of their relationship, it hasn't all been smooth sailing, but the two of them care about each other just as deeply as they had a year previously. They've talked in length about their feelings for each other, and determined that queerplatonic is probably what fits their relationship best. They make sure to get therapy for their codependency issues and are able to function outside of each other, though they still prefer to be together most of the time. Henry and Charles agreed that when Henry dies, Charles will awaken Henry's soul like Henry had done for him, so they can spend their afterlife together.

--------------------

The Toppats moved into Terrence's beach house and have been focusing solely on healing.

Sven has been receiving therapy under his new identity, though he's had to fudge some details about Gaster and what he put Sven through to make it believable. Even with the therapist's help, though, Sven has been having difficulty coping with the horror Gaster put him through, and the resulting self-loathing. His road to healing hasn't been linear at all, with peaks and valleys, but he's slowly making progress. Everyone else in the household has been supportive, though RHM still struggles with some anger towards Sven himself. The two of them have more recently had some long talks, and the anger has slowly been ebbing. Burt and Sven have also decided to try dating more recentl. Sven is worried he's still too broken to be a good partner, but has also come to the conclusion that he's not very good at judging his own progress, so he and Burt decided to take that leap. They're going incredibly slowly, but Burt doesn't mind. In terms of employment, Sven has been working as a line cook in a restaurant nearby and is actually quite good at it. He likes work because it leaves him too busy to dwell on himself. He dislikes sleeping because it has the opposite effect.

Burt has been working from home as a tech support specialist, and he's really good at it. When not working or with Sven, Burt's been trying to soak in the nature of his new home, but has mixed results. He has his own pile of trauma from Valiant Souls that he's been neglecting to focus on Sven. Specifically, his previous timeline death at the hands of Gaster. Sven has been urging him to get therapy himself, but Burt is very reluctant to admit there is a problem. He's also been perfecting his magic, and has become quite good at it. Burt and RHM still butt heads, but are actually in more of a friendly place after everything. RHM agrees with Sven that Burt needs therapy.

Reginald has been slowly but steadily getting better. He's now able to talk and focus better than he was able to a year ago, and perfects his PATIENCE magic in his spare time. Obviously, he hasn't been working. He's been asked by Right Hand Man to see if he can track down the missing pieces of his soul, and he's still working on it. Once he figures out how to do it, the household will go on a roadtrip to track down the missing pieces of his soul. Sven and Reginald spend a lot of time together, sometimes Sven helps Reginald do things he can't do on his own, sometimes Reginald helps Sven by listening to him and giving him advice, sometimes they just spend time together. Sven still feels terrible about Reginald's condition, but as he gets better, Reginald is able to put that guilt to bed more and more. On a more romantic note, he and RHM's marriage is still as strong as it was before the incident, maybe even stronger, and they've resumed flirting constantly as soon as Reginald was able to string words together for it. They've discussed renewing their vows once they find the missing pieces of Reginald's soul, as sort of a celebration of Reginald's recovery. Flowey insists on planning it, which Reginald thinks will be hilarious and RHM thinks will be a disaster. They're still discussing it.

As for RHM, he's been working construction in the city and has actually been rising in the ranks in his company, thanks to the skills he learned as a Toppat leader. He was the one who broke the news of their retirement to the Toppat bigwigs. Carol was disappointed, but not surprised. Everyone else was flabbergasted at the idea of Right not being a Toppat anymore, but with Reginald's health, they agreed it was for the best. Poshley was particularly annoyed at Sven and Burt 'dodging responsibility', but RHM stood up for them. Over the year his anger at Sven and annoyance with Burt has ebbed down, and he's started really seeing the two as family, though you'd have to break both his arms for him to admit it. He and Flowey still talk regularly, and RHM is planning to have him visit at some point. After their retirement, Carol took over as Chief of the Clan, with MacBeth as her RHM. They consult Right and Reg occasionally for advice, but otherwise do their best to keep the four out of clan business.

Overall, they're still in a rough place, but they're getting better. Slowly but surely.

--------------------

Rupert and Dave are still going strong a year later. Dave has gotten a job at Toriel's school, first as an aide, then as a councilor once he completed his certification. He genuinely loves the job, and has made friends with the Dreemurrs, the skeleton brothers, and, bizarrely, Mettaton. Dave has really flourished around the monsters, and after therapy to cope with his soul yoinking, often jokes that Gaster 'broke his curse of bad luck' by ripping his soul out of his body. Rupert has joined with the Monster-Human Protection Squad responsible for keeping peace in Ebbott City. He and Papyrus are partnered up most of the time, as Papyrus joined to get to know humans. It may not surprise you to learn that most of the time they are able to deescalate conflicts without violence. Rupert has grown considerably and likes many of the monsters he's met, including Mettaton, who he met through Dave, and Nabstablook, who he's casual buddies with. The one exception is Asgore. Rupert understands why he did what he did, but still can't bring himself to forgive Asgore for killing his cousin, though he feels guilty for that. Dave, once he learned the true reason for Rupert's dislike of monsters, has been supportive of him. He's had to reassure Rupert that it's okay to still not be okay around Asgore. Oddly enough, Asgore has also told Rupert this.

Toriel has started up her school, and thrives as a teacher. Her school is still primarily monster children, but some humans have signed up their children for the next semester for a variety of reasons. Toriel is excited by the growth. She has mostly stepped out of politics, but isn't afraid to step in if she feels Frisk is taking on too much or being mistreated somehow. As a parent, Toriel is warm and affectionate, but a little afraid to let her children out of her reach. Understandable, after everything she's gone through, but she's trying not to think abut what'll happen when her children grow and want more independence. For now, she's basking in having them with her.

Asgore's first act after setting up 'Brand New Home' was to create a more democratic monster council with representatives from each district of monster. He then stepped down and settled into a new role as a professional gardener. His first contract was with Toriel's school. They do not live together, but are able to coparent Frisk, Chara, and Flowey without any big arguments or anything. After his retirement, the new Monster Council changed the city's name from 'Brand New Home' to 'Sunrise Town'. Asgore does not begrudge them this.

Undyne and Galeforce are both in charge of the Human-Monster Defense Force. They've actually become good friends, though Undyne tends to give Galeforce a headache at times. Galeforce, outside of his new position keeping peace in Ebott City and advocating for the monsters to the federal government, has spend his time caring for Henry and Charles and further refining his magical abilities. He has yet to summon his named weapon, but is still working on it. Galeforce also spends time with Frisk, helping them become a better politician. Undyne, in the meantime, has moved in with Alphys and the two of them have been working on their relationship. Not quite ready for marriage yet, but they may be there by this time next year. In her spare time, Undyne volunteers at Toriel's school. She likes working with children. She also hangs with Papyrus a lot, though she and Rupert have a bit of a 'frenemies' thing going on, and a friendly rivalry over who's a better friend to Papyrus. Papyrus is, of course, oblivious.

Alphys has grown considerably since the end of VS. She completed Charles and Chara's robot bodies and is continuing her research into the functioning of the soul, albeit it more humanely than previously. She has also struck up an online friendship with a human robotics expert who specializes in mechanical prosthetics, and the two have plans for her to visit so they can collaborate on some research. She still sees Henry, Charles, and Chara regularly, and is more or less their primary physician at this point. In her spare time, she's been taking classes to become more familiar with modern human technology and human biology so she can further her research. Alphys also continues to help take care of the amalgamates, though with their families they need her a lot less than they previously had. She still has bouts of depression and self-loathing that she's working on, but she's improving bit by bit. She also tries to go jogging with Papyrus, though often has to be dragged along because she's sucked into her work or anime. She also spends much time catching up on all the anime she's missed out on.

Sans works many odd jobs at Toriel's school, and likes to hang and joke around with her on breaks, but otherwise is doing pretty good at keeping up his end of the deal with Frisk. He, Frisk, Flowey, Chara, and Henry sometimes meet up for 'Time Traveler's Anonymous', which is basically group therapy for all the time shenanigans they'd been through. Sans and Henry are on friendlier terms, though Charles still isn't a big fan of Sans. Chara and Sans have more or less buried the hatchet, but they don't really talk outside of group therapy and Frisk. Sans teases Flowey relentlessly. He's still got his same bad habits, he still wonders if Frisk is going to break their promise today, still feels like time isn't moving forward. But Sans is making progress. Slowly but surely.

Ellie is offically the previous Royal family's bodyguard, and unoffically a member of the Dreemurr family. They encouraged her to reach out to her mom for the first time in years, and they have plans to meet up in a cafe in Ebott City. She still hangs with Charles and Henry a lot, and has let go of some of her worries since the Wall got raided thanks to Charles and Galeforce's report. She can still be a little paranoid about someone from her past trying to ruin her, but for the most part she's settled happily into her new life.

Flowey and Chara are still pretty complicated. Their relationship has peaks and valleys, and sometimes they get into really bad fights. Things have improved a little since Chara got their robot body, though. Being separated from Frisk for too long gives them anxiety, so they are getting therapy for that. That's not to say they haven't improved at all, though. Chara has been branching out socially, and attempting to make more friends among humans and monsters. They, along with Frisk, maintain a healthy friendship with MK, and at their mother and Galeforce's insistence, has been accompanying Galeforce to the city to meet more humans. Privately, they wonder if as a dead kid they'll ever be able to grow up and really improve, but they've been putting off dealing with that baggage. Flowey hasn't appeared to have changed too much. He's still snarky and sarcastic, still likes causing problems. He's maintained his long distance friendship with RHM and has begun a more equal friendship with Papyrus, however. Frisk likes to tease him about going soft, to which Flowey hisses. In private, he and Alphys talk about his soul (or lack of one) and if it's possible for him to grow one or reattach his old soul. So far results are negative, but they'll keep trying.

With Mitchell... not much has changed in his personal life, though he's taken on Frisk as a sort of apprentice. Frisk causes him no end of headaches.

Frisk is still doing their hero thing, though they're beginning to let go of the guilt from Chara's attempted Genocide run. They've put some distance between Chara and themselves - they still love them and are siblings, but they are trying not depend on Chara for everything like they used to. They're also keeping their promise not to rely on their SAVE powers too much, though they've still done it a few to save lives or otherwise help people. They and Sans have talked at length about these times, which lead to the formation of the Time Traveler Support Group mentioned above. They're still advocating for the monsters, still standing up to the human council. Despite everything they'd been through, Frisk is still Frisk. And they're finally happy in the family they've created.

Welp, that took forever! I might come back to this later, but for now, this was nice to think about.

#The Knightmare Responds #nervedpowderkeg #Anonymous #Valiant Souls #Long Post #I tried to just give general summaries #All the main characters #And all the ships from VS #There are too many to tag #Some mentions of mental health issues #But nothing drastic #Mostly in terms of healing #VS happy endings are a work in progress #And that's okay

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girlcalledwhatsername · 1 year

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Not a whole thought if you're willing to entertain it here, but we just wish people would be openly and loudly supportive of our endogenicity re: plurality because, like, we can keep ourselves going usually but sometimes it gets to us that even the more understanding allies will be very quiet about it. :(

Not sure if this deserves a whole explanation on our own blog, but it's not quite something we can just Not Say either, and your blog also fits? Why are people loud about everything but inlcusys stuff (if we can be incredibly crass and oversimplify for a bit in our frustration)?

Anywayssss also hello, we hope you're doing okay. :D

Hello! Hope you're doing okay as well

I understand the frustration when it seems that a discussion about something only stays within that particular community, it happens with a lot of disabilities or controversial ideas and it can feel quite alienating, I'm sorry that you're facing this too :(

Idk if you're actually looking for some kind of explanation or if you just wished to vent but if it was the latter I apologise

I think for one, DID is not often discussed in the mainstream that much. I can't speak for how it is offline in western spaces, but at least here the awareness is very very vague even with those who are in mental health advocacy circles. People started calling it DID instead of MPD only recently. I myself hadn't heard the terms like systems and endogenic/traumagenic till I saw them on Tumblr, and from what I can tell from when I looked them up back then, all the sources on it also seem to be independently published by people within these communities themselves, so the discussion hasn't quite breached the mainstream yet. Hopefully that part at least will be rectified in time.

As for within online spaces, when I came on here and heard these many terms i didn't understand I too was overwhelmed and confused by it, took some time to read enough to understand it. Honestly from the kind of understanding I had of DID, I always assumed some people are gonna be that way just because and some are gonna develop these personalities because of specific events. Much like most human differences or neurodivergence.

One thing I do want to bring up about more talked about ideas around DID and even how it's represented is how it is seen as inherently unhealthy and something to be "cured" as these differences often are. I personally believe anything that isn't causing distress, even if it's a "symptom", doesn't need to be changed in any capacity, it's a similar reaction that people often have to hallucinations that aren't necessarily distressing where just because it's different it must be unhealthy and needs to go away at any cost. And i think these notions being internalised is where a lot of this refusal to accept what I understand endogenic systems to be comes from. Because people can't handle someone being at peace with their differences, doing it the "wrong way", even if the person themself has no issue with the way DID is manifesting for them personally.

I'll confess that I keep putting off thinking about my own plurality like I used to do with my gender, and a big part of that is how I'm still quite intimidated by labels and terminology, it's not affecting me badly so I just brush it aside to be understood another day. And I've never found someone with more experience to talk it through with either.

So I genuinely believe that by and by the discourse will breach containment so to speak and get talked about more. Again, i can't speak for how it is in other regions but the terminology is probably new to a lot of people who will understand it by and by. It's gonna take time but we'll get there, and in the meantime, if you ever want to talk about this stuff my messages are always open ❤️

#asks #did #endo safe #i hope I'm using the correct tags I've never made a post on this myself before lmk if anything is wrong #psychosis mention

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puppysweetheart · 8 months

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i'm bored so i kind of want to write a non-fetish post elaborating on disability and my relationship with my beautiful dyke husband for my tiny audience

i do address them as "daddy," which is partially just a dom title but does in part refer to the fact that they take care of me. this caretaking happens largely because my specific combo of disabilities means i need more help and guidance to live than the average adult; husband and my therapist are my main supports for my continued survival. i really do need husband/daddy's help to get along, beyond any sort of kink, and i'm coming to terms with it.

gonna stick a read more here bc this is turning into an essay 😭 (warning for a brief mention of suicide/being suicidal)

after i emotionally/physically struggled my way through college, young adult life didn't prove any easier and hasn't yet let up! 😭 without the support of my parents at first and later husband, i wouldn't make it. i'd starve, or never pay my bills, or off myself, or end up hiding in my house forever. husband and me accepting that they do play a disability caregiver role has been good for me, if difficult for me to not be upset about (i deal with lots of feelings of being a burden). fitting it into our existing dom/sub dynamic and making daddy/puppy a more regular part of our life at home has actually really helped me pull myself out of the absolute desolation of it all! we both get to have fun with it and not always dwell on the serious parts of my situation.

husband is disabled too, so the helping is reciprocal, but in general they are the one who makes sure i'm meeting my daily needs and has fidget toys on hand for both of us and helps me figure out complicated government paperwork and stuff. they recognize when i'm starting to get stressed or upset or overwhelmed, sometimes before i even realize it myself, and they know what they can do to help (like take me out of a loud bright place or bring me a stuffie...or a dab pen :P). they are also currently our only source of income because i am the unemployed kind of disabled right now.

this whole thing makes our dynamic deep, complicated, sometimes very intimate and special and sometimes incredibly mundane, and just...uniquely ours. daddy helps me learn new life skills, cuddles me, buys me plushies, makes me dinner, fucks me silly at their own discretion, and makes sure i'm not allowing myself to decay due to The Brain Problems. in return, i cuddle them to death, sometimes top and dom ("pretending to be the daddy," as they have called it) bc they're a vers switch and so am i, and make them take breaks from work and remember their meds and enforce their boundaries at work (otherwise nonprofit work will wring you dry). i just love them so, so much, and daddy is the affectionate nickname i've given them out of that deep love. the name "daddy" also encapsulates the feelings of responsibility and affection they have for me as both a caretaker and a partner. i'm unfathomably grateful to have someone who guides me through life and cares about me so deeply. they're my daddy, y'know? :)

#i'm sure there are other kinky disabled people who do something similar #it really helps me focus less on my self-hatred over a lack of real-world skills and limited ability to take care of necessary tasks #husband is the coolest person on earth and i am so amazed i get to hang out with them #the fact that they love me enough to take care of me warms my heart #i really never thought this would happen to me #both needing someone to care for me and having someone who would fully accept my disabilities #anyway. if you've read this #thanks lol #personal #disability and kink #suicide mention

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honeybeanboo · 3 years

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genshin boys with eating disorders : pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: okay first off! i have an eating disorder and i wondered what my favorite characters would be like in my situation! i am not pro-ed whether it be BED, ednos or anorexia or others. i'm using this for comfort and please do not use this post to further your own disorder!

CHARACTERS:

albedo ✔

bennet ✔

chongyun ✔

diluc ✔

kazuha

kaeya

razor

childe

venti

xiao

xingqiu

zhongli

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders, mental health challenges, bodyshaming, dysphoria, self harm, fatphobia

┅ albedo ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: before the traveller arrived, he's had it for a year or so

❂ who knows: sucrose suspects although doesn't hasn't told anyone yet

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of albedo's ed is forgetfulness and recording

he works in his camp all day, at his desk, doing experiments which in itself takes up a ton of his time! what started the behaviors was simply overworking himself and to the point where he was almost getting sick [ :( albedo ] the alchemist would forget to eat, multiple meals a day he would skip, chemicals in the vicinity making it unpleasant to eat, so he would opt for nothing at all

albedo doesn't recognize what he's doing as an eating disorder, he pushes the thoughts away when they remind him of what he's doing and that it's wrong,,, over time, he would end up having a small breakfast and wouldn't eat until dinner, subconsciously slipping into a routine and writing down each meal he would have, taking care to never fill more than half his note-page

chemicals in his lab constantly are bubbling and changing, so even when he decides to eat, they interrupt him and he constantly leaves unfinished food on his desk for sucrose to find later and wonder why he always leaves it there

- has always been secluded but avoids mondstat more and more, sending sucrose into town for errands and stays in dragonspine to do experiments -- this leads to never getting new clothes and in turn, him working to stay in the clothes he has

- denies everything if mentioned, seems confused at the mention

- very protective of his notebook

THIS MAKES ME SAD ALBEDO SOBSD

┅ bennett ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: around the time he became friends with razor and met fischl - around 6 months

❂ who knows: fischl definitely knows but chooses not to say anything due to how bad she is with talking about feelings :(

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of bennett's ed is dysphoria and responsibility

as we all know, bennett has always had horribly bad luck and although he doesn't know it, a lot of people admire him for his perseverance, albeit avoiding his company

he almost always finds a way to overcome the overwhelming hopelessness and guilt of always relying on other people for help and bringing them down with him, but as he enters his 15th year, it gets too much :(

when he met razor, and befriended him, the boy was something of a miracle, he stuck around, he helped bennett and taught him survival tactics :D he was bennett's best friend but bennett felt so incredibly guilty about relying on him for protection, friendship, and good food, he began to turn it away and began to disappear without warning to neither fischl or razor

he would go out adventuring, trying to bring back things to cook for lisa, for razor, for fischl, for kaeya, for diona, he felt like a burden and gave back as much as he could to make up for the consequences his company brought

≡ trans bennet headcanon: he's always been told he's small and thin by his dads, even before transition, so after he began to do more physical activity and bulked up a bit, it weighed on his mind

- dysphoria plays a lot into bennett's ed, not wanting to fill out the curves he always hated

- after a particularly bad batch of eggs he had cooked up, he threw up in the cat's tail's bathroom and that in turn started a small purge cycle before someone in town noticed and took his to the doctor which scared him enough to make him stop

bennett i will just sob and cry on the floor

┅ chongyun ┅

❂ restrictive / purging eating disorder [overeating in beginning]

❂ started + time had: started during his intense studying period for his exorcisms (can't remember the specific method he mentions) - around 2 years

❂ who knows: no one, although an older woman that works at Wanmin Restaurant is worried about him

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of chongyun's ed is control and work

chongyun has always been unstable, whether it be physically or emotionally, due to his build-up of ying energy, so it's no surprise when he bubbles over during the crunch of studying. his teacher pushed him harder and harder each lesson and the things he had to do to keep his stirrings in check weren't the healthiest, one of which was eating specific foods in excess

he bubbled over one day and had a full on mental breakdown, but with his family not near the place he took lessons, he turned to the thing he thought was making his ying energy multiply, not the workload but instead the food

the exorcist's disorder waned off when he met xingqiu, it being the happiest time in his life, a friend to talk to about practically everything, but then when his exorcisms began to only cause distress to the people he thought they would help, his energy became too much and he began purging, which helped enough for him to continue [ :( i'm so sad ] the popsicles help to calm his stomach after a purge and he came up with a low cal recipe to eat tons of

- the calories didn't matter much to him, but xingqiu was very into numbers as well as books, so it began to weigh on him

- he passed off any bad mood as just tiredness from his work

- xingqiu, my man i love him but he's completely oblivious although slightly worried about "burnout" for his friend

┅ diluc ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: around when him and kaeya were fighting, like really fighting and he hurt him badly - 3 years

❂ who knows: a lot of people suspect, but either dismiss it, or are too scared to confront him due to his intimidating nature T-T

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the nature of diluc's ed is discipline and control

diluc tends to be very critical of himself and very hard on himself, which you may not know just from talking to him, or even from being a friend of his, as he tends to keep a lot of stuff to himself - if he makes a mistake, he takes all measures to make sure it doesn't happen again

when he and kaeya were fighting and things got violent, he burnt him quite badly right on his eye which is the reason why the captain wears his eyepatch - this scarred the brothers' relationship badly and diluc quite took literally took those scars unto himself,,, he would let himself be burned easily by his elemental powers, constantly feeling the immense guilt of their tension :[ he healed easily, but would do it again and again

although kaeya forgives him, diluc continues to remind himself every so often that he is the reason for problems, taking the responsibility to fix them, even though they may not even be his! he acts alone and aloofly even when the other person doesn't blame him in the slightest [ TT ]

diluc doesn't drink, he doesn't want to lose control, he never wants to loose control, which is why people almost never see him eat

he eats in small portions and toughs it out, disciplining himself, trying to prove himself worthy to no one but himself

- people have offhandedly mentioned that the bartender never seems to eat or drink - "hardly seems human sometimes"

- when he was caught by the traveler being the darknight hero, this worsened this "discipline" for himself, the man not thinking himself worthy if he was defeated so easily

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and that's part 1! i'll make a part two soon because this is really fun and i really enjoy making these- i will include a more wide range of eds in the second part which will be kazuha, kaeya, razor, and childe

bennett's really made me sad dang

anyway bye!

#cw disordered eating #genshin #genshinimpact #genshin imagines #eating disoder mention #eatindisorder #genshin boys #albedo #bennet #chongyun #diluc

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theyneverblindmedarling · 3 years

Note

https://theyneverblindmedarling.tumblr.com/post/668877116081913856/this-is-random-but-i-think-its-funny-so-i-was

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

the only one who seems to benefitting for their relationship with Harry so far is Olivia, because she’s hella calculated but the stuff about Taylor and him soooo fucking true!!!! you guys always spill

Haha thanks even though I took very little part in that whole thing I absolutely agree with all the points made.

And yeah I do agree with that to some extent. I do believe that regardless of the true nature of their relationship at this point she does/is benefitting from it more than Harry is (although that's not to say that he hasn't/won't but he didn't/doesn't need the publicity that way if that makes sense). At the end of the day though the issue stems from the fact that so many discussions surrounding their relationship are baked into a misogyny pie and topped with "Harry's just a little boy" whipped cream. Neither of the people in the relationship are helpless and even if the relationship benefits her more in the long run it's not like he is unable to consent to this he is a big boy nay a grown man and understands the weight that his decisions have. The narrative is still spun though that she's like some evil wicked witch that's lead him along and is holding blackmail material against him and therefore holding him hostage while she milks him for all he's worth which like.....how did we get here.

People always have (and I fear always will) make assumptions about the true nature behind his relationships and so many of them make it seem like he's helpless or they demonize the woman always for taking him away and its just tiring at this point. We've seen this happen at least since Taylor from what I can remember and people still like to use that as an example of true pr relationship and act as if two incredibly famous people would not feel overwhelmed and pressured enough to leave their date spot when getting hounded by fans and paparazzi. I mean he's even spoken on that before where he said that he truly just wanted it to be a normal date and yet people say he's being paid to say that or something (as if they aren't using his lack of words on Olivia to prove the same thing). (Sidenote: I've seen theories about Taylor holding his sexuality over him during that time, double bearding narratives and all other kinds of nonsense in my times around the sun and like...don't you all have jobs or something wtf)

Anyways I've rambled on too long and gone off topic but yeah I hope that makes sense

#haylor #ts #hs #I do understand that there is a difference between genuine and justified feelings towards olivia for things she's said/done in the past #and the internalized (or not) misogyny that bleeds into discussions around her and harrys relationship but I've just seen people take it #too far too many times like not just on here tik tok comments are absolute hell some of y'all are unwell and need to touch grass and see a #therapist as soon as possible bc this kind of behavior cannot be tolerated any longer #I try to keep my personal feelings for olivia and what she's done separate from how I feel abt their relationship bc I dont want to allow #myself to fall into those patterns because its truly horrifying the things that some people just say about women Harry is around like wtf #plus again regardless of whether or not of the nature of their relationship he is choosing to be around her he's not being held against his #will so like idk keep the same energy or smth I guess he's not the victim here

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skzsoft · 4 years

Text

raising our voices

stray kids 9th member au,, m.list

conflict between two members has been going on ever since kirei joined the boys. three weeks go by and kirei decides she has had enough of it, but perhaps getting involved wasn’t the best decision.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

every family fights. i knew that, however i didn't expect it to happen so soon in stray kids. when i first met the rest of the boys, they all seemed to get along perfectly. they all seemed incredibly close during that first practice we had together. but it had been nearly three weeks since then and i had quickly caught on to the conflict happening between jisung and hyunjin. i also discovered, from jisung, that there was no specific reason for their feud; they apparently just didn't get along.

when i first noticed the snappy comments between them, all i wanted to do was get them to stop. i felt this urge to try and resolve their conflict, but seungmin discouraged me from doing so, saying that it was probably best that i didn't get involved. i understood at first, whatever their issue was it wasn't any of my business. however, as these three weeks went by i had to admit that the whole feud was starting to become more and more of my business, and everyone else's too.

the constant nagging between the two was tiring and always brought the mood down whenever the group was practicing, we could never catch a break. even if it was their issue, it was affecting the whole group. i can always see it on the members' faces, the look of irritation or fatigue. so it became evident to me pretty quickly that their business was also my business, it was the whole group's business.

not all of us happened to live together just yet, so far there was only a few members living in a dorm together. the company had told us that they would let us all move in once we started shooting the reality show, so for now i was living alone in my parents house.

my parents are currently living in my hometown, gold coast, back in australia. but they own a house here in seoul, which i've been living in by myself for the last few months. this meant i could escape the arguing when i was home, but this still has never stopped the constant urge to intervene anytime hyunjin and jisung fight.

today happened to be a bad day, i arrived to practice late because my bus from school got delayed. i also left my umbrella at home this morning, not aware that it was meant to rain, and got soaked on my way back from school. and the cherry on top was that i forgot to put a change of clothes in my locker at jyp, meaning i had arrived in a drenched school uniform with nothing to change into. minho has very kindly let me borrow his spare clothes, which consisted of merely grey sweatpants and a black tshirt.

i was not in a good mood to say the least, and i was certainly not in the mood to hear any arguing between hyunjin and jisung.

the practice started off normally, with a quick warm up and some stretches like we usually did. we also started learning some choreography for warrior's descendant, the song that we'd perform at the upcoming showcase. it was just about one month away so we has time to practice and perfect the dance.

there was one particular move that jisung seemed to have trouble getting the hang of, which didn't really matter for now as we had a lot of time to practice before the showcase. hyunjin, however wasn't letting him off the hook.

"jesus jisung you can't even do this simple move, how the hell are we going to able to debut if you keep making small mistakes?" hyunjin remarked, frustrating jisung who didn't hesitate to snap back.

"at least i can rap and sing properly, shame you're only good at dancing"

usually i was patient with the two of them, but my mood today definitely did not have the patience to tolerate their pointless arguing. usually i'd try to think before i say anything or try not to raise my voice, however i wasn't in the right head space to do this today.

"oh my god can the both of you stop arguing for once? it's tiring and it's bothering everyone here, grow up guys." i snapped mindlessly, not realizing an argument would break out afterwards.

"yah, it's none of your business. so stop trying to get involved in something that doesn't regard you. if it bothers you so much you can go back to the female trainees." he spat, looking directly into my eyes with a vicious stare. it was probably the first time i had ever made actual eye contact with him too. i was to angry to even care about what he had said about me, all i wanted was the feud to stop.

"hey hyunjin don't say things like that" minho butted in. hyunjin didn't pay much attention to him however.

"look leave kirei alone she hasn't done anything, all she wants is peace, but your too much of an ass to make any effort at all" jisung said, defending me. i appreciated his defence, but i also wanted to speak for myself.

"you're making it everyone's business by constantly starting shit!" at this point i was just mad, mad that he wasn't listening, mad that he was being selfish and disregarding how everyone was feeling.

over the last three weeks, i hadn't had any trouble getting to know the others guys. i was able to get really close to them, even changbin who had been awkward for the first week — turns out he was just overwhelmed by my addition do stray kids, but also constantly reassured me that he did want me in the group. the only person that i had made no progress with whatsoever was hyunjin. even when i tried starting up conversations during or after practice, he'd always give me short responses and just walk away. there was simply just zero effort being made, and it was becoming extremely frustrating honestly. this probably added to the reason i was getting riled up.

"okay guys! cut it out! seriously!" it was bang chan's loud voice resonating through the whole practice room that made the three of us silent. we all stared at him, not knowing what to say at all.

"i'm honestly really disappointed in how unprofessional the three of you are being right now. kirei, you're right, the bickering is incredibly tiring for the team, but raising our voices like this only makes it worse. i'm expecting more from you three in the future. so please, just cool off for the rest of the practice and figure this out peacefully in your own time." bang chan finished, clearly not impressed in how the three of us had acted today.

in a way, i was frustrated that my efforts were being discredited. but i ultimately understood chan, he was only doing his job as leader. perhaps i had acted irrationally, we all would have been better off talking about everything privately.

the rest of the practice went by without any more snarky comments. i think the two boys got the message, loud and clear. when practice finally came to an end, i noticed chan giving the three of us a look, a look that seemed to be encouraging the three of us to talk. so, i said goodbye to the other guys as they packed up their stuff and left; i once again thanked minho for the clothes.

soon the practice room was left with only myself, jisung and hyunjin. not wanting to waste anytime, i immediately began to question hyunjin.

"look hyunjin, i have absolutely no problems with you. i want to be friends, so if i did anything to you can you please talk this out with me? for the sake of the team." i questioned, he seemed to have let his guard down quite a bit. he sat down cross legged on the floor, jisung and i quickly followed.

"i'm sorry i've been such an asshole to you for the last three weeks, you really don't deserve it i'm just an idiot." he said running his hands through his hair, visibly annoyed at himself. he looked up at me, and i gave him a look encouraging him to continue.

"i guess, when i first met you during that monthly evaluation i had been crushing on you for a few weeks and i was just shy and awkward. i got over it pretty quickly but when chan mentioned you were joining us, i don't know, i just felt weird. and when you finally came, i just felt even more awkward because i didn't know how to react this whole 9 boys - 1 girl concept. either way, it's no excuse to the way i've treated you, especially today. so i just want to say sorry, i really am." what chan had said seemed to have really made hyunjin think, because he had poured his entire heart out in a matter of minutes.

i felt grateful that he had finally let his guard down and told me what was going on. i had to admit i didn't expect him to have crushed on me, but it was in the past, nearly two years ago, it didn't matter anymore. on the other hand, i could sense how jisung felt in that moment, probably not expecting hyunjin to open up like had.

"i understand hyunjin, and thank you for saying all of that. i accept your apology. i just hope that we can be on good terms and get close now" i stated, to which hyunjin nodded and gave me a warm smile. in three weeks he had never smiled at me like that, it made me happy.

"well, i guess i'm done here then" i said, getting up from the floor and grabbing my things. i looked at jisung, who's was begging with his eyes for me not to go. but i knew that it was better if i left them, it was their issue not mine and they needed to figure this out for themselves.

"please try to talk things out, i don't care if you guys aren't best buddies afterwards. just at least try to resolve it or agree to be professional. i'll see you tomorrow boys." i finished before walking out of the practice room. i felt satisfied with how the day had wrapped up, sure it had it's ups and downs but i learned a lot.

we were a family, and no family is perfect. we argue, we fight. but in the end family is family, the love will always be there.

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word count :: 1.7k words.

stream go live. thank you for listening to my TED talk.

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