#and i don't really want to

[ovidiomedes]

i actually think the reason THH was so scary the first time around is bc makoto's involvement in the first trial made me realize the game was most likely not above having characters trying to kill makoto. even if he was the protagonist.

like yeah. he was most likely going to survive just bc he's our eyes and ears but i spent most of the first trials walking around hope's peak genuinely TERRIFIED i was going to get jumpscared by someone trying to kill makoto from the back.

#danganronpa #makoto naegi #tbf i haven't played drv3 yet #and i don't really want to #but at least compared to dr2 #thh was WAY scarier

[curlytrek1701]

K so I know this is a trek blog, BUT

I just watched Queen charlotte, and I don't know how to act anymore.

Please

If anyone has book recs with these criteria:

Arranged marriage and/or

Romance with someone dealing with mental illness

In sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction, alt history.

Please please please send them in my direction.

Thank you

#it's just #when they said From my cage to hers. I want the queen to know that we will not be caged forever. #or I care not for his sanity. I care for his happiness. I care for his soul. #i felt capable of being loved lol #and i don't want that feeling to go away #k back to star trek i promise #I'm also a real sucker for pathetic men #and 'wife guys' #if that's what you call them #queen charlotte #i have never seen Brigerton #and i don't really want to #recs pls #help me

[do-you-know-this-queer-character]

Do you know this queer character?

Castiel is Queer and Agender or Genderfluid, and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!

#opening pandora's box with this one i've been blissfully unaware of supernatural my entire life and I don't really want to start but #the history of supernatural on this blog already is rough please have mercy #this is the most specific i'm willing to get with labels on this one #8 people submitted him dear lord #castiel #cas spn #castiel spn #spn #supernatural #tumblr polls #fandom polls #poll #queer #agender #genderfluid #varying pronouns #he/him #she/her #they/them #live action #lgbtqia #do you know this queer character

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex #god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood #that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets. #but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society #i don't know what to say i'm just so tired #politics #culture #queerphobia #lgbtqia #misogyny #<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy #patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights #so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized #purity culture #i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr

[nooling]

LOOK I JUST REALLY ENJOY THEIR FRIENDSHIP OK?? You can't tell me they wouldn't hang after their respective personal quests (spawn ending ofc)/emotional breakdowns over their own mortality

EDIT: I forgot to watermark these so now more than ever PLEASE don't repost

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #karlach #bg3 #Karlach 'I could kiss his pointy little face' cliffgate #karlach cliffgate #karlach bg3 #bg3 fanart #my art #I discovered CSP is a lot better than PS for animating #consistent artsyle? I don't know her #I just like their vibes #they seem like they'd be there for each other #maybe karlach just wanted someone to talk at her about absolute nonsense while she processes her own mortality bc that girl needs some help #I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE TWO

[scribe-not-sage]

good luck to mod on exams, its also exam season for me (ap exams) and they can be rough o7

MAY YOU GET THE BEST SCORES!!

// mod:

I need a whole lot mroe than luck, but thank you.

#// mod: the amount of shit i could complain about #but i won't because i'll just work myself into tears #and i don't really want to

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[samble-moved]

post itself

false flags

trans/adjacent tags

accessibility features

tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)

flashing / strobing / lights

unblockable flashing ad

buying ad free

staff @/macmanx guilt trip

list of staff + more issues

#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so #archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og #hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little #fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies' #note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip #also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either? #edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it' #but then stop replying when i answer your ask #maybe that's. not helping discussion? #i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.

[voids-ideas]

Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important

In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway

If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing ✅️

50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now) ✅️

100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them. ✅️

200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place) ✅️

500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it. ✅️

1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended) ✅️

5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods) ✅️

10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything ✔️ (I haven't, but that person was in my room next to where the earrings are. They were 0% hidden)

20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it

April 2024: I stop procrastinating editing this post with the things I've already done. I WANT THE HAIR SO MUCH BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT

May 2024: Red hair, red hair, red hair. I'M CROWLEY, RED HAIR!!!!!

#Just my random stuff tag because I don't want to do any of this stuff #but i do want to do this stuff #fuck i really hate wanting to do things and at the same time wanting to simply... stop #fuck #jay and... jay what are you doing?

[rubikor]

they were her people

#genshin impact #furina #lumine #paimon #i don't think i'll ever stop being sad for her #i just want her to be loved omygod pls give her real friends #they really isolated her even now that she's free to be herself #she just has her job and that's it plese give her good friends

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

#not vc sorry #bird #birds #aves #raptor #hawk #red shouldered hawk #i think. might be wrong on that id #accipitriformes #birds of prey #honestly a really cool guy so close up #I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big. #talons on this bird were huge. big scary. #I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives #it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down. #I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still. #it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird #if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know

[coolerdracula]

saying “visual style" because, for example, if you would swap your current wardrobe for an identical, ethically made counterpart, there would be no visible change

#bearer of the curse #polls #I said a lot bc I don't wear a lot of what I enjoy due to sensory stuff and also like ... ethical considerations #btw I made this post bc I really don't like how some people think that people 'dress boring' simply bc theyre boring #like. fashion is not as accessible as it should be! to most people! #so i wanted to see how people felt #also fat people I love you I know a massive part of this inaccessibility is fatphobia in the fashion industry

[sorcerers-quest]

I'm listening to an essay on the rust belt and how industrialization in America moved to other countries and states where labor, taxes, and materials would be cheaper and they could get away with worse practices (illegal dumping, unsafe work environments, long hours, etc) and what came of this was rioting in the rust belts region, and police brutality. all in like, the 1800s? and like I don't remember learning about this in school. I feel like maybe this is something that should be thought about again. like eventually we were no longer producing things as much as having service jobs. and that's where we are now I feel. importing everything from out of our country and using cheap labor from poor people in other parts of the world who are loosing their sanity, health, digits, and lives over our entertainment and individualistic living. we don't need as much as we have. for hundreds and thousands of years the clothes you owned were the ones on your back, you didn't have changes of clothes for everything.

"no one wants to work anymore" maybe working in america was awful to begin with, and people don't like suffering or even dying because of their job. and maybe we should start rioting and inciting other countries to join on the same basis, you should not be spending more hours at work than you are awake at home, per week. you should be able to have healthy and happy relationships and the ability to have children who you love and care for as a real human being and not as a burden on your lively hood and paycheck, because having a child is so expensive now the birth rate is so low in America that we won't be having many more generations to take care of things unless we open our borders up to immigration.

if we want things to continue in a "normal" way, 5 hours should be your maximum amount of hours on a shift per day, with 3 days off at minimum. you should be getting paid $30+ per hour, or things you need to survive should be lowered in price. we do not live in a scarcity, we throw out more good and edible food than we sell. we have enough housing, apartments, motels, and places to sleep for everyone. healthcare should be given to you for free by your job, at every job, as long as you are employed. preferably and ideally, it should be free. as you are a human being with the necessity of living and taking care of yourself. companies have the ability and money to hire to hire more people. they just don't want to. because having less than 10 people trained on 4+ stations working one home depot for a shift is cheaper than having 30 people all working their own station. it's cheaper for a dollar general to have 2 employees per shift than 5, so their stores end up never being stocked correctly and just looking like a disaster. the cashier your boomer dad yelled at is making $9/hr while her manager makes $16 and their GM is making a 30k salary. every one. EVERYONE. should be mad. how do you manage to live? you apply for food stamps so the government, who should be forcing your employer to pay you more, can give you $25-200 a month, depending on whatever they feel is right based on the hours your forced to work in order to pay rent. how can you even pay rent, utilities, a phone bill, internet access, literally fucking everything to be able to live a normal life, on top of eating. like????

I'm so pissed off and disappointed I don't know why we aren't running among the streets ripping the intestines out of billionaires. you jest "eat the rich", while I'm heating up my fucking crockpot and getting the meat grinder out. I'm tired of the false prophets out here doing nothing to organize and improve the lifes of themselves and everyone else around them. why are you scared. you have a phone you have internet access and so does the majority of everyone else in this sad and pathetic fucking world like start organizing the revolution now because we will not have a future generation to do it for us

#dont reblog #im killing myself i hate america #and people r like 'oh why do u want to move' and like it has nothing to do with me being trans and everything to do wirh me wanting to die #idk what to tag this as #and i don't really want to #so delete later

[arrimorr]

As you can tell I liked Nigel and his terrible roommate situation a lot...

#the magnus protocol #tmp #nigel dickerson #bonzo #don't know how I feel about giving him blue clothes BUT #I really wanted his sweater to resemble prison robe without going into black and white territory

[canisalbus]

I love the duo, both the historical setting and modern AU. Does Vasco ever go to confession while Machete is running it, just to 'confess' to something they did before as a way to tease?

#own art #own characters #CanisAlbus #Vasco #Machete #hippiemeerpup #there's no way that never happened #but Vasco isn't mean he must know Machete actively dislikes confession duty #I don't think he'd want to make him more uncomfortable on purpose #if anything he might pop in to exchange meaningless chitchat as an attempt to cheer him up #wanted to draw an actual pretty and polished confessional but ran out of steam early on #some other time #this week has been really trying and it's barely wednesday morning