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ziggy-starman · 2 years

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La Squadra constipation comfort. my ibs is making it hard to shite :///

I know this was satire but istg just seeing this gave me fun ideas for hcs, so here they are!

La squadra with a s/o who is constipated

♤-----------------------------------------------------------♤

Risotto Nero

Risotto really has no problem shitting so he doesn't understand your struggles.

He somehow makes it really awkward if you call him to help(idk how) like he comes over assuming you ran out of toilet paper but hes met with a "ris..i cant shit" from you.

If you're a shy pooper then hes probably just concerned on why you're taking so long. He'd go to the door and knock..oh boy what a mistake. Now you have to start the whole process of trying to shit comfortably again. You say some "Go away im shitting!" And he complies.

He tries to bring you a prune yogurt drink *as* you shit. Its not gonna help now tf

Prosciutto

This man istg. If you complain to him whilst *in* the bathroom and shitting he will nag to you and lecture you about your diet.

"This is why you eat your vegibles,cara! Next time you dont want those green beans dont come crying to me that you cant shit!"

If you're lactose intolerant its gonna be worse.

"Why would you eat from the cheese platter anyway?! Tesora,you need to stop doing this to yourself! It just hurts you!"

Hed go on and on and you're not paying attention to a damn word he spewed out. You're just trying to push the fucking log of a shit out your ass.

Pesci <3

Tbh this man isnt much of a help. But he tries!

He wouldnt know what to do he'd offer random things that make you happy but none of them can help you push out a fucking child sized dump.

If you start moaning and complaining while hes outside the door it'll just worry him more.

"Uuh- uhm oh! Do you want some music,amore? I know that makes you happ- AHH ARE YOU OKAY!?!" And you reply with a choked out "no.."

He'd sit with you till youre completely done. Or he wont if it makes it harder for you. He just wants you to shit comfortably. (10/10 bf fr)

Melone

Melone kinda got excited when he heard you calling him to the bathroom (if u do) he thought you'd want to take a bath with him and maybe bang who knows

Only to be met with you struggling to shit. He'd be disappointed but still try and come in to the toxic waste room. He just want to see you with your pants off.

He'd wanna come in more if you're a naked shitter. He uses excuses like "babe...you dont want me to come in? I can hold your hand"

Even if ur a shy pooper hed forget and stick around till you're done. Really he just sits around the door talks to you about random stuff and you'll never hear the end of "are you done yet?"

Whenever he says something his face will always be pressed against the door. So..good luck?

Ghiaccio

Ghia would be confused on why tf you yell for him but he goes to check either way. Like ris he expects that you ran out of toilet paper.....You cant shit.

"....what the fuck do you expect me to do about that?..DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING PULL THE SHIT OUT OF YA!?"

Hed stomp down the hall way mumbling out complaints, leaving you alone to shit.

No he wont hold your hand or take a shit in the double toilet with you :(( its "gross" to him..what a looser

He doesnt wanna experience the togetherness of smelling each others farts while shidding here with you...

Illuso

So you call him over.....now what? He comes to you but he has no idea what to do.

Hes like..."okay you cant shit...wtf do you want me to do about that? I cant just use magic,babe." He'll be very blunt and make it obvious that he doesnt wanna talk to you while you're popping a squat.

He leaves you with no words Alone,constipated and sad.

It doesn't make him exactly uncomfortable but he finds anything regarding hygiene and..like toilet stuff gross. Like "no i will not help you eject the fecal matter in your rectum out of your anal canal...nasty."

Formaggio~

Formaggio also has ibs..like he feels your pain so he knows. Hed also be very willing to shit in the together toilets while holding hands in agony with you.

Lets say if you did end up with double toilets and both of you having to shit really bad. He'd try and crack jokes to make you laugh and distract both of you from the pain. Énfasis on *try*

"Hey babe- why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Idk..why"

"...." "uh....to get away from kfc...?"

The joke was ass ofc.

This man is having a harder time than you. Hes sweating bullets while practically crushing your hand and screaming.

Sir looks like this:

#jojo no kimyou na bouken #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba headcanons #jojo no kimyō na bōken #jojo pt 5 #jojo’s bizarre adventure #melone #risotto #prosciutto #pesci #ghiaccio #illuso #formaggio #jjba x reader

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serotoninny · 1 year

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Hey- hi. My sister and I grew up playing Super Paper Mario constantly. I would absolutely love to hear any and all thoughts you would like to share pls and thank you!!

HELLO! HELLO HI!

wanted to start off by saying Holy Shit!! spm was a video game me and my sister also played growing up!! we never beat it back then but recently she came home and got me hooked on it again and we played it all the way thru. we also did fun little voices for each character I got to be dimentio so that was very fun ^__^ i think Objectively its not a very hard game (which is why we were able to beat it LMAO) but what it lacks there it makes up for in STORY and super strong characters and i adore it so

IF ANYONE!! ANYONE wants to respond to anything ive said in this word soup of a post PLEASE DO!!! in the tags in the comments i just like seeing ppl talk abt whatever the hell about spm. Head canons Theories You name it

this is . a little scattered around. u do not have to read all of this but thank you for giving me an excuse to talk abt spm VVV

first of all themes of love being the answer make me wanna bawl my eyes out and i gotta be real i did tear up at the end of the game when blumiere and timpani have bounding through time ost playing and then walk out of frame. CHEFS KISS. lovely. i like how each chapter the gang goes thru has its own unique little set of townspeople and even thru little bits of dialogue u are left wanting to defeat the chaos heart even more because you dont want any of them to die YK? HEAVENS TO BETSY! THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS FOR RIGHT BEFORE CHAPTER 8 FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN FLIP/FLOPSIDE?? SHIT HURTED. npc reactions to all the shit going on were so good

one thing i WISH happened tho was. mario and luigi Sibling Love (i mean this platonically i want to specify Just in case there are any weirdos out there) Helps Save The World. i get the whole count bleck mansion part where everyone started sacrificing themselves to save the others which means they care for one another n whatnot which is good great and fantastic However i think it wouldve been COOL to see the whole gang esp the two opposing forces of Mario (prophesized hero color red) and luigi (prophesized Man In Green to contain the chaos heart and destroy the world) contribute to the reformation of the pure heart like some sorta balance between light n dark . BUT ITS FINE i love the game anyway because its probably the longest bowser luigi mario and peach have ever been on the same team

and completely unrelated, the entire premise of luigi being the harbinger of a great world ender is ALWAYS a joy. a fun little recurring gag if you will. like i cant believe this is not the only time he was the vessel for a great evil like what is up with that. every day i think abt that one luigi post abt how he's Doomed By The Narrative TM to be the Evil Twin Brother but he just chooses not to be. never not thinking abt that ever. hes so haunted by like literally everything got separated and brainwashed fought his brother aided in the destruction of the sammer guy world Died went to hell KOed spm satan got revived became GOD then saved the world. and he is some middle aged man in striped socks

MR L. GOD. that fucking guy. hes so lame. i like him so much. his theme goes SO hard in the silliest way imaginable. and i also like how even when he is brainwashed its kinda obvious he still wants mario around (see: brobot, the replacement brother). they fr tapped into luigis need to be useful and used that as is motivation to work for the count. yeowch. mr l to me is just luigi but Lots of parts of him just locked up and forgotten (plus a little minor bit of oh i dont know straight up brain manipulation, nastasia is a force 2 be reckoned with fr) Duno if im making sense here . anyway mr l is so so so hilarious to me because his one liners are so so dumb and i think the gag abt no one recognizing him is FUNNY (EVEN IF i think at least mario SHOULDVE recognized him but WHATEVS).

all of count blecks minions are . SUCH a fun little group. and while dimentio didnt give a fuck about them i still love his dynamic as the court jester whos a little bit of a bitch. the origins of them joining the group are very interesting because ochunks mimi and nastasia had been at their lowest when bleck recruited them and dimentio was like. let me in your emo band. ochunk's warrior code is something i think about a lot. he doesnt got a lot behind the eyes but hes got values he sticks to and i like that a lot in a character. him and mimi do spa days

bleck as a character makes me wanna chew through my walls. in a good way. guys who are slipping and dont want to get back up and bringing everything else down with them are fun and that is all. bonus! he still gets to be Somewhere quiet after the story's over

dimentio has to be my fave of the goons (not counting mr l). not surprising because hes just. so. ...... He is the Way That He Is. his little similes are so stupidly funny for no reason and i think being a Silly Guy and also a Guy With Ulterior Motives are the two funest traits a character can have. His ambiguous past is so interesting like yes bitch hide behind the mask keep cards up your sleeve dont let them know your next move!! something interesting i read somewhere was that. even after luigi the chaos heart and dimentio were separated that there were bits still mixed up between them, linking them not only prophetically but on the atomic level is a headcanon im tucking close into my heart . terrifying as it is super fucking rad !! luigi cannot escape the harbinger of doom allegations

dimentio and luigis entire dynamic is the best thing ever. because dimentio is a goddamn weirdo and luigi is. and i cannot stress this enough. JUST a fucking GUY. luigi is like "ill stop you you ne'er do well!" and dimentio responds with "im killing us both<3ciao!" why does every luigi villain wanna be no children mountain goats with SO BAD. they should keep doing it

god. the way mario is the mc and barely has a role in most of the story other than being The Hero of the Light Prognosticus is both a little annoying and also kinda sick /pos. annoying because mario is one of my faves and i want him to participate in the story more (not really a diss on the writing i just like him) but also kinda sick because . the way everyone in the game talks abt the hero from the prophecy is so. soooooooooooo. god. like everyone in favor of all worlds Not Ending preparing THOUSANDS of CENTURIES in advance just for mario to arrive. Pixls were locked in boxes and hidden away WAITING for him and its like. if he could talk back. i wanna know how he thinks abt all this. because throught the entire story You as the player kinda fuck things up for people in pursuit of the pure hearts. and mario cant rly SAY anything abt it cus its not Really his story, but MAN. what i would give for a little development on his end of the lineup during a few points like 'wilting' king croacus, figuring out squirps is now orphaned because he had to stay alive long enough to help the heros, Luvbis Entire Deal, and figuring out mr l was luigi all along. SIGH

i dont know much about the pixl war, but all of that lore is so cool to look into. ive got like surface level knowledge. even then i only rly care abt the history when im thinking abt the personalities of the pixls themselves. cus like they get their little moment in the spotlight and then they Never speak Again. dottie and cudge and fleep are some of the more memorable ones for me and i wish it was possible to hear more of them. but alas

squirps. :( in my heart. in my heart and soul. bowser takes squirps under his wing. forms an alliance with his kingdom (assuming. squirps takes over from where his mom left off). peach would of course also form an alliance with him. IDK. squirps is the Only One out of every major side character in the game who didnt really get a happy ending. while not everyone NEEDS one i think he deserves one. and in my perfect world he is being guided by two more experienced rulers (bowser isnt doing much in terms of teaching him good diplomacy but he sure as hell is getting him to hang out with kids his age like Jr).

bowser was so funny this whole game. love when evil guys get domesticated a little. thats all about him

PEACH. PRINCESS PEACH. god i love her. the way she was the only person to resist nastasias brainswashing AND her fucking umbrella is the most cracked defense in the World. blowing a kiss to the wind. for peach

ok so i cant think of anything else to say and i havent proofread this. if YOU, dear viewer, love super paper mario i need you to never shut the fuck up ever. there are like 12 of us

#spm #super paper mario #long post #HOO man. supare papa mareio.

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laly-481 · 10 months

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Not sure if i should do this on your sideblog or here so doing it here!

I feel like itll get obvious after i finish bc oh boi i have a lot to say (also you may recognize my typing)

YOURE FR ONE OF THE BEST PERSON I EVER MET AND IM SO GENUINELY 100% SINCERE LIKE!!!!! God itll be difficult expressing myself without making it obvious so fuck it

MY LOVELY PLATONIC WIFE ILSYM /P I FR CONSIDER YOU AS MY BEST FRIEND!!!! its already been. what. 2 years we're friends now?? And i usually struggle sm keeping friendships for long so i just really really appreciate the fact that we still managed to stick together for so long, rambling about our new hyperfixations to the other to the point of sometimes making it the others hyperfixation and then just having sm brainrots and all together and even creating aus and characters together and even if we never finish anything which is a bit sad the process is always soso fun and i appreciate each and every moment i spent with u ever!!

Youre like one of the people i feel the most comfortable with if not the most?? Like i feel i can just ramble about most of whatever the fuck passes my mind without u judging me which. Probably often ends in your notifs being flooded by me. Oopsies.

Know that ill always always support u bc youre someone so important to me and i really care about and sometimes i just randomly think "damn im so glad to have met laly" bc thats genuinely what i think youre just so!!! Amazing!!!

Anddd i think i should stop because this is getting too long but basically; YOURE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE IVE EVER MET AND I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH /P MWAH HERE TAKE COOKIES CUZ YOURE EPIC 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

JDQBMVABLMFAENLKFA GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET

ILYYYY /P I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT TALKING AND STUFF SO I DON'T SAY IT ENOUGH JUT ILY !!!!!

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outsideratheart · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,835 times in 2022

That's 1,764 more posts than 2021!

1,667 posts created (91%)

168 posts reblogged (9%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@footygirl114

@cpheath

@putellas14

@outsideratheart

I tagged 1,307 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 1,090 posts

#woso x reader - 74 posts

#woso - 65 posts

#fcb femeni - 46 posts

#woso one shot - 42 posts

#woso imagine - 41 posts

#barcelona femeni - 36 posts

#espwnt x reader - 35 posts

#espwnt - 34 posts

#barcelona femeni x reader - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 49 characters

#you can always count on jenni to give the content

My Top Posts in 2022:

Eyes open (Leah Williamson x reader)

A/N: This could be one of the quickest fics i have ever written.

This was based of an Anon request but I cannot find it. Anon, I hope you like it.

In the 85th minute. The game was 2-0, the win was England’s but Canada refused to give up.

Leah stood on the edge of the box as Kelly sent the ball in from a corner. Everyone knew that your head was the target for corners so it came as no surprise that you are very heavily marked.

The ball hit its target but it also hit the cross bar. With the ball in the air going from head to head, Kadeisha Buchanan tries to clear it with a high kick and it just so happened that you jumped for a second header at the same time.

It’s as if it happened it slow motioned and Leah could do nothing but watch as the Canadian defender’s boot connects with your head and with force. You fall to the ground with a thud, there was no scream of pain and your body was limb as it fell.

“Y/N” Leah quickly ran to your side.

Lucy was kneeled beside you in a matter of seconds as she tried her best to keep you conscious. It was obvious from look in your eyes or more so the lack there of which told the defender the severity of your injury.

“Keira you need to keep her away” Lucy says.

Keira hated it but she knew Lucy was right. There was a huge laceration on your head and blood was flowing out fast.

“Leah, she is bleeding and you’re not good with blood. We can’t have you the two of you passed out”

“She’s unconscious?” Leah asks and although she didn’t think it possible, the panic within her grew tenfold.

“I’ll be ok. It’s Y/N. I need to see her”

Keira turns to to Lucy as if asking for permission. The defender takes her shirt off so that she can cover the wound then she nods her head. Whilst Leah rushes to your side, Keira shouts for the medics to hurry up.

“Y/N” Leah’s voice is barely a whisper. The way your eyes fail to focus on anything scares her. It’s like your body is there but your mind isn’t.

You can hear someone say your name and the voice is familiar but you can’t place it. You can hear people talking and you can feel something warm falling down your face but what you feel the most of the excruciating pain in your head.

“Something’s wrong” your eyes get heavy as the pain consumes you.

“What! No! Y/N keep your eyes open. Lucy what do I do?” Leah begins fearing the worse.

Lucy freezes. You are her best friend and as much as she wants to reassure your girlfriend she can’t. She is frozen in the spot as she looks down at you and her once white now red shirt.

“Y/N It’s Keira. I need you to keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me?”

You try to do as she asks but your eyelids are too heavy.

“Ke”

“Im here. Leah is too and Lucy. The whole team is here”

“It hurts” you try to move you hand to the source of the pain but it feels heavier than normal and then you realise that someone is holding it, that someone being Leah.

At this point the medics arrive and the team move so they can treat you but Leah, Lucy and Keira remain by your side.

When the medics ask Lucy to remove her shirt so they can access the wound Leah winces. The cut was about 4 inches long and it was deep. You would need stitches, no doubt about it.

“Keira try to keep her talking. She is going to be in a lot of pain” the medics ask.

You and Keira can talk about anything. It’s one of the reasons why you are so close. From serious topics to top ten pizza toppings, yet in this moment her mind is blank.

“It must be bad if you can’t think of anything” you use every ounce of energy to muster together a sentence.

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470 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

Contract Negotiations (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: I went to this game, it was amazing! Also, I started writing this fic in Barcelona.

Throughout the season you have some pretty amazing games but no matter what, your favourite is always the last home game of the season.

This season that game is against Atletico Madrid making it that much better because you get to catch up with some of your closest friends who you don’t get to see that much during the season.

It is bitter sweet though because it is Melanie’s last game and you are 99% sure that it is Leila’s last game too. It could also be yours and Jenni’s last game at El Johan if Barca don’t stop dragging their feet with the contract extensions.

Barca is winning 2-1 and Aijbade is making a run towards the goal with you and Mapi not too far behind her. When you see Mapi slide in and miss the Atleti player you know exactly what you have to do. You are exhausted due to the heat and the physicality of the game but you put all of your energy into catching up with Aijbade before she gets into the box. You pull her shoulder back causing her to fall just in time and you have no arguments when the referee pulls out a red card.

Two minutes later you are back on the pitch celebrating the perfect season, 30 games and 30 wins. When you exit the tunnel you see a certain Ballon D’Or winner waiting for you.

“Fancy seeing you here” you say playfully as you bring her into a hug, holding her a little tighter as you both take in your surroundings. When you let go Alexia keeps her arms wrapped around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder as you put your arm around hers.

She watches you watch the crowd as they cheer and wave their flags. A few seconds in and you are lost in the moment, that is until Alexia nudges you.

“Don’t think about it” she says as if reading your mind.

When you turn to face her you see her looking at you.

You chuckle slightly “I didn’t say anything”

“When you weren’t saying anything very loudly”

You don’t respond, truth is you wouldn’t know what to say if you wanted to. This is something Alexia picks up on.

“Who would have thought” Lola says as her and Jenni walk towards the two of you “Alexia misses a penalty, well I save her penalty and Y/N Y/L/N gets a red card”

“It won’t happen again” Alexia says confidently and you can tell that she isn’t happy with herself for missing it.

When she turns to you she sees that Jenni’s head is buried in your neck. She sees Jenni’s body shake slightly making it clear that she is crying whilst you cover you mouth with your hand so no one can hear what you are saying to her.

You walk around the stadium with your team mates knowing for some of them it might be the last time and for some it definitely was. Looking around you wanted to say to thank you to every single person that had attended a game this season and you always wanted to say goodbye but you wasn’t sure if that was necessary, at least not yet.

As you get back towards the benches you and Mel get pulled for interviews. You go first, answering every question as well as you can without getting emotional. You and the team had just completed the perfect season and you wanted nothing more than to celebrate with them. As you hand back the microphone you hear the fans shouting your name.

“Y/N” “Y/N please will you sign this” “Y/N can I have a photo”

You hold up a finger “Uno minuto” you tell them as you listen to Mel give her last interview at El Johan. You notice one of the twins crying so you move behind the camera signalling your head to Itzel, mentally asking her if she wants you to take her daughter to which she nods her head. You quickly taking the small child from her.

Looking down at the baby and then at Mel who is holding the other twin you can’t help but feel jealous. You want what she has, you wanted to have a long career at Barcelona, have children with Alexia and have them with you at the games. You begin thinking of you future and how the next couple of days will either cement your future with Barca or it will flip your life upside down.

You go to the stands starting at the goal line to meet the fans with the aim to meet, sign and take photos with as many people as you can. You give your shirt to a young fan who created a sign asking for it. You then tell the fans thank you before running into the locker room to get the shirt you wore during the first half so you can give that one away too.

Alexia talks to her friends whilst watching you.

“She is making us look bad” Ana tells her.

Your girlfriend doesn’t face her team mate, instead choosing to keep her attention on you.

“She lives for this. No matter the game or the score, she always makes time for the fans”

Ana hums in agreement, she had watched you do this so many times though out the season.

“Ale” Mapi says “why does it feel like she is saying goodbye?”

Alexia looks at her national team mate, someone who you are very close with. She knows that you haven’t talked to anyone other than her about your future so she understands the uncertainty radiating from the defender.

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489 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

Never Stopped (Leah Williamson x reader)

A/N: So I started this on 20th April and I kept coming back to it every now and then but I was determined to finish it before the Euros so here it is and it could be one of my favourite fics i have written so far, also could be my longest at 6.7k words but i’m not sure. Anyways, I hope you guys like it!

Dubai is beautiful. You were skeptical when you were first told about your pre world cup training being held in a different time zone, to you it didn’t make sense but this is exactly what the team needed. It was a chance to get away from the pressure that mounted back in England and it gave the team the perfect opportunity to bond. A lot of the players saw each other frequently with most of them playing in the WSL but it was different for you and Lucy as you both played in France with Lyon.

You remember when you made the decision to leave Arsenal, you would go so far as to say it was the hardest one you have every made. You left the team that raised you, the people that you called family but most importantly it would mean you living over 580 miles away from your girlfriend.

Leah was your everything. You remember when she first joined the Arsenal senior team, it didn’t take long for you to fall for her and god did you fall hard, you put the cheesy rom coms to shame. Despite her being your girlfriend she was also your best friend but she wasn’t your only best friend. It was you, Leah and Jordan, you were dubbed the three amigos by your team mate Alex Scott.

The distance was thing that killed your relationship in the end. You thought it was worth it, you were willing to fight for your happiness but Leah couldn’t do it and it broke your heart, but what hurt more was that a couple of months later you found out she began seeing Jordan. It went from being the three of you to being the two and them, then you, all the way in France.

You are in the recovery room with Lucy scrolling aimlessly through twitter.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Lucy look up from her phone then back down then back at you. This sequence repeating itself a few more times but you lose your patience.

“What is it Lucy?” You ask your best friend.

The way she looked at you, you could tell that she was debating saying something.

“I’m just going to say it” Lucy pauses causing you to let out a small chuckle.

“Well you are doing a rubbish job at it” you say thinking of the irony.

“Leah and Jordan broke up” your body tenses at her words though it wasn’t a surprise, it was what Beth first said to you when you got to the hotel.

“Doesn’t change anything” you say bluntly before turning your attention back to your phone.

“Liar” Lucy whispers to herself but you hear her and deep down you know she isn’t completely wrong.

Considering your history, you and Leah still get along. It was difficult to talk about her when you broke up, let alone be in the same room together. After time you realised that you cannot spend your life avoiding Leah Williamson, truth is you didn’t want to. You and Leah both agreed that you wouldn’t let your past affect your future, that your lives would be a lot better with each other in it. Over time it got back to how it was before you started dating, you didn’t hate her anymore, you didn’t hate Jordan, you liked that your two best friends found happiness in each other even though it could hurt at times.

After a few weeks, the camp in Dubai ends and the team is the strongest it has ever been. The way you played on the pitch filled you with confidence going into the World Cup.

The flight from Dubai to France is 7 hours and no mater how hard you try you could not go to sleep so you settle with watching a film instead. You look up when you see Kiera grabbing her things making it known that she is moving seats which you found strange.

“I’m sorry” she mouthed before moving to her new seat thus adding to your confusion.

Things soon became clear when the person she switched with sits in her seat. That someone is Leah Williamson.

You can see her staring at you out of the corner of your eye. You ignore her hoping that she will go away. Although you two are good you still avoid been alone with her, even though technical you aren’t alone with her now but everyone was doing their own thing which mean’t it was like it was just the two of you.

You pause the film, taking you headphones off and turning to face the blonde.

“You look good, I mean I couldn’t keep my eyes of you when we were in Dubai, whether in was on the pitch or when we were at the beach” the flirtatiousness in her voice is clear but it didn’t have the effect on you Leah has hoped it would, instead it has the opposite.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you do so.

“You don’t get to say shit like that anymore” you whisper through gritted teeth.

Once upon a time you would have loved to hear Leah say that but things are different now.

“Why not?” Leah asks innocently “I’m not with Jordan anymore” you laugh her at blatancy.

“I know, the whole team knows. I don’t see why you think that would change anything”

“I just though that now that I’m single we could, you know” Leah stumbles on her words.

You shake your head in annoyance “Stop talking Leah” you tell her before putting your headphones back on and resuming your film.

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501 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

Dropping Hints (Christen Press x reader)

A/N: I had two requests so i put them together, in result we have this fic. Also, i didn’t know what simping was so i had to google it, it must be an american thing.

Anon request: 1:hi can you write one for christen press where the reader is famous and everybody is obsessed with her but they don’t know her and christen are dating. 2: Can you pls write a Christen press x reader where the reader is really famous (you can choose what she’s famous for) and the team is constantly simping over her but they don’t know the reader is dating christen ( you can pick how they found out)

Touring was one your favourite parts of your job. It was what everything led to, all of the writing sessions, hours in the studio and time away from your girlfriend.

Tonight was your first of two sell out shows at The Forum, the last two shows of your tour. Best of all you had sent your girlfriend tickets so that she and her friends could come watch.

“Happy Birthday Mal” Christen says as she hands her an envelope.

Everyone watches as Mal opens it, her reaction is priceless.

“Are these real? How did you get them?” Mal asks as she gets up and hugs Christen tightly.

“Yes, there real and let’s just say I know a guy” Christen says.

“Or a girl” Tobin whispers so that only Christen can hear her.

“Shut up. You’re just jealous that she likes my present better” Christen sticks her tongue out at her best friend.

“What is it Mal?”

“Yeah, show us”

Mal stands up and shows the team the Y/N Y/L/N VIP tickets.

You could only send a certain amount of tickets so you jokingly told Christen that her team mates would have to fight over them, little did you know that this is exactly what would happen.

You are one of the team’s favourite artists, it seems like every single player liked at least one of your songs. They would listen to you during workouts and in the locker room before and after games. You were a staple for the USWNT.

You had told Christen that the tickets were for anyone but her attendance was mandatory and you knew she would bring Tobin because she had been a keeper of your secret relationship since the moment is started.

After an hour of negotiations Christen texted you to tell you that it would be her, Tobin, Mal, Sam, Rose, Sonnett and Kelley that would coming to your concert.

You reply to her saying that you will be looking for her in the crowd and that you will see her after the concert.

***************************

You were sat backstage waiting for your manager to come and tell you it was go time. You were exhausted, your throat hurt and you missed your girlfriend, it wasn’t a good combination.

“Cheer up Y/N you will see her soon” Your manager sits next to you.

You don’t respond as you get a text from Christen. It was a selfie of her and the rest of the girls in their seats.

“Do you want to know where she is sat?” Your manager asks which gets your attention straight away. You nod your head.

Your manager tells you that they are sat to the left of your drummer.

“In all seriousness I do need you to cheer it, it’s showtime”

“You know me, always ready to put on a show”

You both walk to the stairs that lead up to the stage. She connects your in ears and hands you your microphone.

“Two more shows Y/N, I know it had been hard but I am so proud of you”

“Let’s go!” You shout and watch as your band walk out and you can hear the fans screaming. When you walk out the arena erupts.

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519 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

All Is Fair In Love and Football (Alex Morgan x reader)

A/N: Here’s a little Alex x Reader + Charlie fic that i had no intention of writing but it has been stuck in my head for a few a few days so i thought i would share it.

Angel City FC vs San Diego Wave

Captain vs Captain

Wife vs Wife

This is the fixture that you have been looking forward to since you and Alex decided to leave Orlando Pride and today is game day.

In the tunnel, you stand at the front ready to lead your team. When you turn to the right you see your wife who had the same job. You give her a quick wink, to which she shakes her head, before walking onto the the pitch.

As you stand in line you look into the crowd and you see your biggest fan, Charlie. This is her first game where she isn’t wearing a shirt with Morgan or Y/L/N on the back. You and Alex decided that Charlie would remain neutral when the two of you played each other.

You and Alex shake hands before taking your places on the pitch.

“Remember, she is our enemy today” Christen tells you.

“I hope you told Ali the same thing, she is the one who has to stop Alex” You say jokingly.

Truth is you love to play against Alex, no one pushes you more than she does. Now it actually means something, this isn’t a scrimmage at practice for the pride or national team, it is an NWSL game and in some ways it was a derby, San Diego are your rivals.

Angel City are dominating the game in the first 15 minutes so it doesn’t come as a shock when Christen crosses the ball into the box and you get your head on it perfectly. You run and jump into her arms as you hear the home fans cheering.

It doesn’t take San Diego long to come back though, they are a strong side and you are prepared for a battle but you also know how hard Alex is to stop when she is determined to score, which happens just before half time.

The second half is a lot more physical, you are running down the middle when you are knocked off your feet, you expect to see Abby Dahlkemper or Naomi Girma as they are two that have been marking you the whole game so it is safe to say you are shocked when you see Alex standing over you holding her hand out.

“Sorry baby” Alex says as she helps you up.

You simply shake you head in frustration, you were going to be one on one with the keeper and Alex knows that you don’t miss in that situation. If is was anyone other than your wife you would have reacted very differently.

Call it childish but when Alex next had the ball you wanted payback. You may be professional athletes but you are also very competitive and she needs to know that she won’t get away with taking you out.

Alex gets up without your help “Sorry baby” you say reiterating her words, just as you did she shakes her head but when she turns around you see her smiling which you reciprocate.

It is the 85th minute and the game is still tied.

You manage to get past Naomi now all you had to go was get past Abby but you realise that you don’t have to when you see Christen running along side you. You play a simple through ball to Christen who hits it perfectly, the two of you once again celebrating with each other as the ball hits the back of the net.

The final whilst gets blown with Angel City winning 2-1.

You shake hands with the San Diego players, Alex is the last person you get to.

“Now I remember how much I hate playing against you” Alex says as she wraps her arms around your waist.

“Is that why you took me out?” You tease, raising your eyebrows.

“All is fair in love and football” Alex tells you “I have some media, are you”

“Going to get the little one, I sure am” you say finishing her sentence.

You walk towards where Charlie is sitting with Alex’s family, signing a few signs and taking a few photos along the way.

When you get to where your daughter is you are surprised to see that she has changed her shirt, her pink nike t-shirt had been replaced with a San Diego shirt which you are guessing has your wife’s name and number on the back.

You reach you arms up and Charlie practically jumps in them.

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525 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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sonianvmd · 3 years

Text

thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

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thesnowidol4life · 2 years

Note

akirui 😈

i hate you bestie but yeah i ship them in some type of way. theyre not among my favorites but theyre dangerously close thats for sure

1: What made you ship it?

ngl half the reason i started liking them is bc rui has so little romantic mlm content that isnt his biggest mlm ship (i don't wanna pop up in the searches but its obvious what) and im very desperate 💀. the other reason is they're so funny to me. like akito's gay and homophobic [>: (] while rui's gay and homophobic [>: 3], so the joke scenarios are top tier

2: What are you're favorite things about this ship?

in seriousness i think akito and rui having some kind of relationship w someone uninvolved w their units/someone theyve had established relationships w is nice. they're both pretty isolated characters so whenever either of them gain more interactions or better friendships w the other ocs it makes me very happy.

also i just like thinking about akito admiring how seriously rui takes being a director and as he becomes better friends w him and sees rui's softer side that he only really shows w wxs + mizuki and akito just going "oh. oh no. no, not him." is amazing.

and yknow. i just like. rui being loved. i think he deserves all kinds of love. i should get that checked out.

but for the joke answer i think the vbs/wxs being simultaneously protective and scared of akirui is beneficial for everyones serotonin levels (insert the time me and another friend were joking about how akito shouldn't worry about approval from rui's parents, he needs to worry about whether or not NENE approves of him. one of the best scenario talks we've had fr)

3: Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

ive seen so little unironic akirui content that idek what's considered unpopular but ig the idea that there isnt anything more to it than being a crack ship. Theres definitely stuff there to work with esp w how issue ridden these two are so im just sitting here waiting for something.

(okay wait actually idt that this should count as unpopular but ill include it anyway. im dying out here w the currently 7 akirui fics in the ao3 tag and only being able to enjoy half of them yes i mean the other half are smut i am on the floor begging. give rui more mlm content that isnt just the one specific ship akirui is literally right there's stuff you can work w there pls <3)

#akirui my meme ship but i am willing to fight people over them #i hate how this made me realize i liked akirui more than i thought #'bi but no one wants then so they end up wanting each other' that's the dynamic fuck it #this is also my call to action for people to make more akirui content #i would try but i am literally using all my brainpower to try to complete all my ruinene works and if i don't finish that first #i will explode thats just how it is

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gayspock · 3 years

Note

I see you posting Odo and I'm curious: What do you think about Odo autism? I've heard a lot of autistic ppl relate to him and I was sceptical but now watching ds9 I'm kinda relating to him in that way soo. Julian and Odo autistic kings? (And honestly everyone else on ds9 as well but we'll leave that analysis for later 😳) sory for the long ask

i say autism bc im autistic and i like him and thats what happens to any fictional cunt i like 😁 but ehrm here's my lil strings of thoughts

BUT fr! no, no, no- i see it. granted, it still does feel like super early days for me to write anything truly indepth on that - not to mention, that kinda thing isnt my forte (i just talk to meself a lot innit<3 and those thoughts arent always so coherent or wonderfully put) but i think its like...

well, tip of the iceberg: he's an alien, yah? and quite specifically, one not amongst his kind - and therefore kind of an outsider, who doesn't have a blueprint on how he's supposed to be. and instead, he has to try and integrate into a predominantly humanoid society. and that setup really lends itself to, like, being analogous with autism narratively. LIKE... it's kind of a thing, isnt it, honestly, where aliens (and androids/ai too!) are often incidentially read as autistic. which sometimes that's- yknow. i'll drop a thought on that at the end. BUT, spock and data are the obvious examples - even if u strip back some of their more "stereotypical autistic mannerism" or whatever. bc this idea of, like... learning social standards, as odo would have had to, yeah.

but furthermore. he's quite lliterally being taught to redefine his existence, to present as humanoid. you can read that as a metaphor for masking, easy. and granted - i havent even finished this ep yet - but with how The Alternate elaborates a bit more on his past... i know a lot of autistic people (myself included) have had a traumatic experience with being forced to mask in certain ways. being pushed into it, because it's what's best for us as Dr Mora says - even though the "best" is just the expectation of how a person should act, which is totally arbitrary.

and with Dr Mora, also, you can extrapolate more parallels: with how he insists that Odo wasn't ready to be let out into society, that he wouldn't cope on his own, that he wasn't yet meeting this necessary standard, that he won't be accepted and accomodated for... and again lotsa ppl ik have that experience!

and it's not just that. i think... ok, going back to data and spock: again i say they're very "stereotypically autistic" in their mannerisms. yknow how it is. odo doesn't always read so overtly, but there's some habits he has? that i think also apply.

cant remember what episode it was. but it was, ehrm.... he was talking about lying and how he could tell ppl were doing it- and the way he analysed ppl was, like, by cataloguing very specific movements. not emotions or expressions. instead he methodically deconstructed it.

and... with justice. ok. personal fave there bc he does have a fixation on it? and idk- I GET THAT TOO, YAH? unsure if one track minded is the most appropriate term, bc its not like a lack of nuance even if it sometimes feels like tht to ppl... but that kinda thought process.

and just general social mannerisms. some detachment tht i also kinda vibe with. and when lwaxana came onto him and he LITERALLY had no clue what to even do, bc he was so outta his depth like - OKAY, SAME BESTIE? SAME, SAME, SAME... and again these lil bits at the end are all more, like. small lil things that i dont think are indicative full stop but i do find they RESONATE, yknow!!!!!!

SO YEAH LIKE. MY POINT IS. i see where ppl are coming from!! me too<3 i'd like a lil autstic reading of odo 😁

(BUT: as i did briefly say earlier... i am verastile with, like, autistic readings when it comes to inhuman characters. and the same applies to gender/sexuality, actually - although i find it easier to explain why with the latter as thats a lil different for sure. basically im v much of the omg yesss soooo true bestie when it comes to my own projections and most other ppl's but also there are . yknow . sticking points when it comes to using inhuman behaviour as a parallel for autism that makea me go 🤨 which i mention in PASSING bc idk if i can unpack that whole moving van of stuff by myself in a silly little aside but YOU KNOW. just feels like some comment on tht has to be said here since im going on a big long rambley anyways 😁

#egg yells back

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varusai · 3 years

Note

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

#lord boros #geryuganshoop #groribas #melzalgald #dark matter thieves #opm #i put way too much thought into this after not thinking abt them in a long while #it was fun tho #Anonymous

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