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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

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all aboard the mystery machine | (feat. the gym 3 squad and y/n)

this was inspired by a post by @kenchiko which was the ‘being in a friend group with gym three squad’ which i like to read when i’m sad. anyway, they all dressed up as the mystery gang and i thought it was so cute i decided to headcanon it. (thank u kenchiko i love ur tsukki stuff but i’m too shy to interact with u *waves*)

it was the day of electric spookaloos aka halloween and you and kuroo were hyped af

mostly because you could play ‘this is halloween’ on loudspeaker with less weird stares than usual

and kuroo’s all about gROuP CosTUmeS

previously the five of you had dressed up as the power rangers (which you switched for m&m’s because the helmets were too hard to make), the breakfast club, and the teen titans and now the five of you were going to top it off with…

‘the mystery gang from scooby doo!’ kuroo mentioned in your groupchat

no one noticed it except for bokuto who haha-reacted and then it resurfaced three days before halloween

kuroo and akaashi are the only ones who went all out with their costumes

kuroo has a blonde wig for his fred costume and akaashi also got a wig and made a dress for his daphne costume

bokuto ordered a cloth scooby doo mask online and forgot to order the rest of the body so he looks like inosuke from kny except his head is scooby doo

you and tsukki went to the dollar store on the day itself and just bought shirts for your velma and shaggy costumes

kuroo: you couldn’t even bother to get an orange sweater?

tsukki: it was fifty cents more expensive also i’m the blonde one so i should be fred

kuroo: well you didn’t binge-watch scooby doo all night and got only one hour of sleep so you had to sip akaashi’s pumpkin spiced latte before getting kicked by the owner of said latte

bokuto worked on spray painting kuroo’s pick-up truck to look like the mystery machine

but the painting didn’t work out and only half of the letters are legible so you’re all piled into a pick-up truck that says ‘THE Y T RY AC NE’ on the side

but you’re off to the only halloween party you were invited to !!

and you blast ‘this is halloween’ on loudspeaker while dancing in the backseat

except on the way tsukki gets a call from his boss (he works at a museum) abt some missing artifacts

you: why did he call you, don’t you just deliver coffee?

tsukki: *kicks you*

you: *kicks back and accidentally kicks bokuto*

bokuto, behind his mask: :’(

kuroo: missing artifacts??? museum????

tsukki: nO–

kuroo: SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE MYSTERY GANG *drives to museum before anyone can say anything*

akaashi: this is the only party we’ve been cool enough to be invited to this year and we’re going to spend it in mcdonalds again after this is over

bokuto: wE’RE GOING TO MCDONALDS IF WE’RE COOL ENOUGH?

akaashi: nO

anyway you, kuroo, and bokuto are excited for this ~~mystery~~

the five of you are miraculously able to sneak past the guards and enter through the back because the mystery gang gave you their blessing to break and enter almost any building on halloween night

kuroo, immediately getting into fred jones mode: alright let’s split up gang! daphne and i will check the upper floors while velma, shaggy, and scooby, you take the basement

bokuto: ruh-roh!·

you: splitting up is a surefire way for someone to get killed but go off, i guess?

kuroo: also, if anyone curses, they owe a quarter in the swear jar

akaashi: you can only use things like jinkies, jeepers, jiminy, or zoinks

tsukishima: i’m not fucking doing that

kuroo: that’s a quarter

anyway, you’re with bokuto and tsukishima so what could go wrong?

everything

and it all starts when you guys go downstairs into a basement full of creepy artifacts and find a mysterious, glowing amulet

you: i don’t think we should touch that

bokuto, who can barely hear anything in his decapitated scooby mask: TOUCH IT!

tsukki doesn’t care enough to hold him back and bokuto touches the amulet

the basement shakes, the ground beneath you trembles, the amulet grows brighter and pale green apparition appears in front of you. its danny phantom a hooded figure with glowing eyes

ghost: YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE GHOST OF THE AMULET OF ETERNAL SUFFERING

tsukki: …a song by Fall Out Boy

you: *trying hard not to laugh but also scared shitless* …jinkies

bokuto: ruh-roh?

tsukki: huh, i guess someone rigged a hologram here as a prank. nice one

ghost: I KNOW NOT OF THIS PRANK YOU SPEAK OF. YOU HAVE BROUGHT ETERNAL SUFFERING ONTO YOURSELVES, MORTALS

you: i mean, i work at customer service so…

tsukki: nice one *high fives you*

ghost: YOU HAVE– *stops when he actually sees bokuto* WHAT ABOMINATION IS THIS?

tsukki: mean, that’s just y/n

you: *kicks him*

meanwhile kuroo and akaashi are sleuthing it up upstairs

kuroo: *having a staring contest with one of the paintings displayed*

akaashi: what are you doing?

kuroo: you know how painting’s eyes tend to follow the main character in cartoons?

akaashi:,,,kuroo that’s a painting of an apple

kuroo: i could have sworn i saw some red eyes

akaashi: i don’t think anyone would be blazing it in a museum. come on, let’s check the next room

while walking past a row of suits of armor, one of the displays turns its head (but no one notices it yet shhhhh)

back at the basement

the ghost is wreaking havoc: chairs are thrown against the wall, vases are cracked, the faint smell of sulphur is in the air. you and bokuto are fucking terrified and look more like shaggy and scooby despite your shitty cosplays. tsukishima doesn’t believe in anything that’s going on

tsukki: man, these guys here are really putting effort into this prank

you: TSUKKI I DON’T THINK THIS IS A PRANK

ghost: *starts chanting in some unknown, ancient language*

tsukki: ah, nice touch. you watch lord of the rings?

you: tSUKKI NO-

bokuto: don’t worry! i’ll exorcise this spirit with my bible knowledge!

you and tsukki: MANGA MESSIAH IS NOT THE BIBLE

akaashi: *shivers* i just had the strangest feeling that bokuto called manga messiah the bible again

kuroo: zoinks! sounds like him

akaashi: *trying not to cringe* anyway, they’re probably not doing anything right now

the basement, atm: just a complete fucking mess

the walls have started bleeding but somehow y’all are still a-okay

that’s because tsukki’s so salty he’s basically a salt circle with 10m radius but you didn’t hear that from me

and he STILL DOESN’T BELIEVE THAT A REAL ASS GHOST IS HAUNTING THEM

the ghost is also tired at this point

also bokuto is really fucking scared but decides to end things ONCE and FOR ALL

he stands up from under the desk and just tackles the ghost like a football player

he didn’t think that he’d pass through the ghost

but seeing a buff dude with a scooby doo head is enough to scare mr. blood-dripping-from-the-walls shitless, especially when he fucking passes through him

ghost: *disappears back into the amulet*

you: and you still don’t believe that’s real???

tsukki: ghosts aren’t real

you: *ready to throw hands*

bokuto: I DID IT! I FOUGHT A GHOST!

you pocket the amulet because you can send it to your enemies

meanwhile: upstairs

kuroo: man, i’d give anything to be chased by a scooby-doo villain dressed in a suit of armor

a suit of armor: *starts chasing them*

akaashi, in his best daphne voice: jeepers! we better get out of here!

kuroo, crying out how perfectly akaashi emulated daphne: let’s split up gang!

they don’t split up tho that would be dumb

*cue classic scooby doo chase scene with the music*

and then as they round a corner they run into you, tsukki, and bokuto fresh from the basement and you all fall into a heap

tsukki: *sees the suit of armor running towards then* ah fuck, what now?

kuroo: laNGUAGE *hands him the swear jar*

akaashi: NOT THE TIME

you: GET HIM BOKUTO!”

bokuto stands up and once again tackles the knight and this time he doesn’t pass through

it takes five (5) of you to tie up this one (1) guy

kuroo: oh my god, i’m ready

you: ready for what?

bokuto: the final unveiling

kuroo: now let’s see who’s behind all this! *rips off the helmet which tears off like a mask don’t ask me why but apparently that happens*

and it’s…Bokuto!!

everyone: *gasps and turns to Bokuto who FINALLY removes the scooby doo mask*

tsukki: *gasp* you’re the creepy british dude who keeps trying to buying our local artifacts to display at The British Museum!

akaashi: neo-imperialism is real

bokuto in the suit of armor: guys help!! he kidnapped me!!

all of you (except tsukki because he’s so done at this point) tackle mr. british villain who you thought was bokuto

finally the right person has been tied up

kuroo: your days of stealing artifacts are over!

british villain (let’s say he looks like jude law or something): and i would have gotten away with it…

kuroo: *grabbing your arm* oh my god! he’s gonna say it! he’s gonna say it!

british villain/jude law: …if it weren’t for you fUCKERS!

*dead silence*

kuroo tries to hand him the swear jar but akaashi puts his hand down

you: can we call the police?

akaashi: *gags* fuck the police

you: he’s white, british, and a man. they won’t do anything to him

akaashi: exactly

tsukki: hey, you still have that amulet from earlier, right?

you: the CURSED amulet with the GHOST inside?

akaashi: the what now?

tsukki: yeah, maybe leave it with this guy? and then he’ll get pranked

at this point you’re too tired to argue with mister ghosts-aren’t-real so you leave the amulet with jude law and the five of you get out of the museum and pile into the mystery machine

akaashi: do you think the party’s still going?

you: we could hang out in mcdonalds again like last year

but otw to mcdonalds kuroo’s phone rings and he picks up

kuroo: hello? b-bokuto?

bokuto, over the phone: guys where are you??? the party started hours ago and my headless scooby-doo onesie is hard to get out of and i need to pee !!

akaashi: but…

you all turn to look at ‘bokuto’ sitting between you and tsukki in the backseat. he removes his mask.

it’s…jude law !!

*cue ending music*

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