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lets-try-some-writing · 1 year

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Living Remnant

When Optimus dreams, he relives the memories of his predecessors, often believing that he is them until he wakes. But when he does this, odd things tend to occur.

Sleepwalking

More often than not, when Optimus dreams and delves into the memories of the other Primes, he ends up sleepwalking as the Matrix's way of keeping him safe while he is unavailable. The Matrix will pilot his frame, using the remnants of the Primes minds and muscle memory within it to operate. It normally isn't an issue, the team will just let Optimus wander for a bit and one of the more insomniac members will lead him back to his berth. However his sleepwalking is highly volatile, one wrong move can lead him to lash out instinctively as the Matrix is unable to tell friend from foe.

Not only that... but Optimus is rather terrifying when the Matrix controls his frame. He wanders the base like a machine. Everything he does when sleepwalking looks wrong, almost like he is a broken record stuck on loop. Sometimes he won't move for hours, not even so much as twitching, just standing in the shadows and watching with empty optics. Other times he will repeat the same set of actions over and over, lifting and item, carrying it to another spot, and putting it down before doing it all over gain. Startlingly, he also might wander looking lost and repeating ominous phrases as he walks, usually something about it "hurting". And most frighteningly, but thankfully most rarely, Optimus's frame will start to mimic previous Primes.

One such instance led him to wander around the base with his blades extended, lashing out and trying to attack any bot he saw. The team spent the entire night hiding behind locked doors, terrified for their lives. They never mentioned what happened to Optimus after he woke, not wanting to make him feel guilty for things he had no control over. But still, the team hypothesize that the memories that the Matrix was using must have belonged to Nova Prime, a Prime notorious for his paranoia and his death at the hands of his own inner circle.

Another similar instance led Optimus to begin working with dangerous chemicals trying to make... something in his zombified state. Ratchet tried to intervene but he was stopped by a startlingly empty stare and a few muttered sentences about how "There must be a cure" and how he "Must find the cure". Ratchet ended up watching in fear as Optimus created an antidote for the rust plague, something not hard to make with their knowledge but concerning when the thought of which Prime the memories originated from came into play. Optimus woke from his stupor with nearly a dozen vials of rust plague antidote's surrounding him and with his servos covered in all sorts of cuts and chemical burns. Ratchet was thankfully there to calm him down and treat his wounds, but neither have spoken of that particular instance since.

The last instance of such terrifying behavior taking place that the team are aware of started with Optimus sleepwalking as he normally would. But when day came... he didn't wake. The team tried to break him out of it but he was completely unresponsive, totally immersed in the Matrix. He remained in a state of waking sleep for days... hardly moving and only doing one of two things, that being singing songs in the ancient tongue and drawing murals with whatever resources were available to him. It was a horrifying experience, that with the team being unable to wake him in any way, not even to get him to consume energon. Ratchet ended up giving him shots of energon directly to his systems as he spent nearly a whole week in that state. The team were beginning to worry that he wouldn't wake, that he had finally fallen too far into the Matrix's grip when he finally showed signs of stirring. By the time Ratchet dragged him to the medical berth for a checkup, Optimus had already created dozens of highly unusual and very... disturbing murals depicting everything from the creation of the Primes to the great war.

Some were indecipherable, only depicting mecha in various states of agony or other forms of discomfort. Others were clear as day and nearly prophetic in nature, depicting the omega lock, Unicron spark chamber, and even one of Smokescreen with the omega keys. And then there were a few that shook the team to their cores, murals that told a tale of horrible suffering. Those murals showed the deaths of a Prime or Optimus being dragged down into a sea of corpses, always with his face scribbled out in a mess of blue paint.

The team hide those murals away before Optimus could notice them and only brought them out a few weeks after the incident, fearful that he might panic upon seeing the murals or fall right back into the Matrix's grip.

Mistakes

After a particularly intense session with the Matrix, Optimus tends to leave its grip a bit... off. He is never completely right in the helm afterward, either being eerily emotionless or saying and doing worrying things.

He will... mistake things around him on those days, speaking of mecha who have been dead for millennia as if they were present and looking at the team and not really seeing them, instead thinking them to be someone else. Bumblebee was mistaken for Senator Shockwave at one point due to his cheerful disposition, much to the discomfort of the whole team. Arcee was Elita-1 in Optimus's view for nearly a week at one point, leading to some rather awkward situations. Ratchet was referred to as Pharma in part due to their similar appearances, ultimately leading Ratchet to temporarily redo his paint to help Optimus see him for who he really was. Bulkhead and Wheeljack kept getting mixed around, being called by any number of names ranging from Tailgate, Hightide, Ironhide, to even Kup. Ultra Magnus and Smokescreen didn't fare much better when it came to getting misnamed.

It isn't just names either. When out on the battlefield Optimus's fighting style, way of speech, and even his priorities can be warped depending on which Prime he interacted with in the Matrix. Nova's memories made him extra violent, often leading Megatron to retreat quicker but at the cost of the team having more injuries or missing the actual target. Guardian's memories made him far more calculating but less caring of the loss of life, usually requiring another of the team to take over handling civilians or potential casualties. Sentinel's memories made Optimus paranoid as pit, unwilling to take any risks whatsoever if there was a way around it, tending get the team better results when the plan worked, but only if the plan actually worked.

Of course there are other smaller things, like habits that linger during those days. Things like Nova's tendency to constantly have a weapon on hand and keep every bot on high alert was commonplace. Sentinel's notorious paranoid patrols and continual health checks were both common and both the best and worst thing to ever happen to Ratchet. And Guardian's habit of organizing everything that could possibly be organized due to his impossible workaholic nature was something that also become prominent in Optimus on days where the Matrix's touch lingered.

Drowning

It doesn't happen often, in fact it only happens after events that even the powerful emotional suppression of the Matrix can't handle. But sometimes, when times are most stressful for Optimus or when he feels the most useless, the Matrix will activate it's in built defenses and take control of Optimus's frame during his moment of mental weakness. It will push Optimus's mind back, sending him to consult the memories and experience the more... safe ones while it operates his frame. It is the Matrix's way of keeping its Prime safe, and it works for the most part... except for a few occasions.

Usually when the Matrix takes over it will do what it does when Optimus dreams, merely piloting his body somewhat aimlessly until he is ready mentally to take control again. But sometimes while Optimus is still recovering within the Matrix, something happens that the Matrix can't handle, leading to it pulling Optimus back into a semi-operational state in panic. In those instances Optimus isn't fully aware, his mind still half submerged in the Matrix and vulnerable. And so to not damage Optimus's recovering mind, the Matrix will feed him memories from its previous holders on loop depending on the situation so that he can still rest while performing as needed.

If it is battle that causes the Matrix to wake Optimus prematurely, it will feed Optimus the memories of a battle that matches the circumstances best. This is by no means foolproof and leads to more problems than solutions usually, but the Matrix does what it must. In those instances, Optimus truly believes that he is the Prime whose memories he is experiencing. He will act like them down to the smallest details, matching their memories expertly. He will give orders that match the scenario he is in, but they are always off, generally directed toward an enemy that has long since been defeated.

Ultra Magnus: Sir! Vehicons incoming!

Optimus: The Quintessions will fall! Shoot them down! Show no mercy! They will not take Cybertron from us!

Ultra Magnus: *Looking at the others nervously* You heard him, man your blasters and shoot the Vehicons down.

Everything he does seems off, almost like an NPC rehearsing the same lines over and over again. He even has an idle action depending on the memory set.

Ratchet: Prime, I need to check you for injuries

Optimus: *Standing guard periodically checking his blaster* All non-essential personnel are to remain indoors throughout the quarantine cycle. The rust plague is a real threat and should not be underestimated.

Ratchet: ...Just hold still

It is incredibly off-putting and can either be downright strange or dangerous with very few instances of there every being a situation in between. It can take up to a week for Optimus to break from his memory loops as he finishes his recovery mentally. The team always breath a sigh of relief afterward, even though Optimus does not recall what he did.

#maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #optimus prime #the matrix of leadership #the thing is a well meaning abomination and I take no criticism on this headcanon #team prime #I really can't help but make my boi suffer #i mean optimus lives in a universe where magic and science are the same #i don't see how he wouldn't end up being some strange mix of demi-god and scientific wonder

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