#and I think that might've worked better and not as far from canon if that makes sense

[pennumbra]

#centaurworld #the nowhere king #first finished piece of the new year! #this one is admittedly v self-indulgent #I feel a way about tnwk going from 10 years in a dark cell to a featureless white void to... war and the battlefield #I want him to experience freedom and spend time in the world again #and I think he should just get to go on a nice beach vacation lmao 🦌🌊 #I will say for the point it was trying to convey this is prob overrendered- I was imagining a much simpler toony style orig! #and I think that might've worked better and not as far from canon if that makes sense #but I enjoy drawing scenery so I had fun C: #my art #scenic art

[rhaenzokla]

Smoke In My Lungs

Suguru Geto, Satoru Gojo, Kento Nanami, Toji Fushiguro x F!Reader (separately)

Summary: Stoner Boyfriend head canons and blurb

CW: teasing from Gojo (ofc), sexual innuendo in Toji's blurb.

Suguru Geto

Sweet Suguru would be a wake and baker and a night-time puffer.

As soon as his eyes are open in the morning, he's reaching for his grinder and bong.

His bong is his prized possession of his smoking materials.

It's dark blue with black accents wiping all around the triangular base and long neck.

It has a wide hole as he prefers to stick his lips in the opening instead of over the lip.

He defiantly loves to put on some lo-fi in the background as he smokes.

He will absolutely smoke on his own if he can't find anyone to share his stash with, but he prefers a group setting.

He loves the bond between sharing bud and telling/listening to some vulnerable stories.

He's generous with his stash as well (except for Satoru).

One of his friends, or worse, you, doesn't have anymore stash left?

He's bagging up some from his own stash for you to take with you, but only after he smokes you out, that is.

At night, he's smoking bowl after bowl to get ready for sleep.

He's an insomniac with his work, so smoking before always helps him sleep.

Imagine his shirtless frame waking you up from the bubbling sound of his first pull of the morning, smiling at you as he releases the smoke from his lungs. "Want some, baby? It's gooooood." he asks as he waves the bong lightly in front of you. "It's 7am, Suguru, of course I want some." you playfully bite out as you sit up in the bed, taking the bong from him and slowly taking a hit. His lungs are far more used to being abused so early in the morning than yours so you take your time. His eyes droop lowly as the affects of the drug start to take over, making his heart calm and mind slow. You cuddle up into his side and block his arm in the process. "How am I supposed to hit this when you're laying on my arm baby girl?" he asks with a slight aggravated smirk. "Just light the bowl and I'll pull it for you." You're pretty sure you saw hearts in his eyes at your words and he instantly sparks up the lighter, setting to the bowl. You carefully watch the chamber as to not let it get too opaque, pulpit for him as he takes in the hit. He hums softly as he releases the smoke and kisses your head. "I think I just fell in love with you all over again..." He smiles and goes in for an actual kiss, you can taste the left over residue on his tongue. "Why?" you ask, genuinely confused." "Only stoners will know why you touched my heart just now. You'll get there in no time." He chuckles and hands you the bong.

Satoru Gojo

Satoru would be the smoker who will whip out a joint just about anytime he can, especially after any inconvenience.

As you might've guessed, Gojo's medium is joints.

He loves the classic Raw 1.5s but he also loves splurging on flavoured papers, as well as flower wraps.

He has a light blue Bic lighter that he keeps in the inside pocket of his sorcerer jacket.

He used to carry his joints in an altoids container to try and hide the smell before you, his loving girlfriend decided to gift him joint tubes.

Now its smell proof, and he doesn't have to walk around smelling like spicy baby powder anymore.

He can easily finish a joint by himself in 10 minutes or less.

While he enjoys a group sesh, he'd much rather smoke alone or with his partner.

Will only share his stash with you and Suguru, unless they can pay for their share.

Loves shotgunning with you, no surprise here, he loves teasing you, after all.

What better way to do that than to get your lips impossibly close and get the remnants of smoke he allows you to have.

Satoru had just finished up work for the day and he's making his way down the street, smoking a joint. He was meeting you for dinner at a little shoppe at the corner of this road. it hadn't been long since you had made your way to the dining space either, bumping into him on the way. "Funny seeing you here." He says with a smirk, joint lit and realising a thin line of smoke in its wake. "Were meeting for dinner, literally, right now." You chuckle because you knew he was teasing. "Hmm. I remember now... this shit is pretty good, want some?" His head tilts down towards you to gauge your reaction as he takes a slow drag. When you nodded, he pulled the perfectly burned joint from his lips and placed it against your own, his fingers touching your cupids bow in the process, sending shivers down your neck. He chuckled lightly as he pulled away and a light couch left your lips from the potency of the hit. "Let's eat and then I'll teach you how to hit this properly, maybe ill even teach you to shotgun." he finished off the joint as you both made your way to the restaurant, hand in hand.

Kento Nanami

This man, is in no way, shape or form, a stoner.

HOWEVER, he does enjoy a good edible when work gets rough, and a celebratory bowl from his pipe he has just for the occasion.

Now, normally when I say bowl or pipe, you're probably thinking of a glass blown bowl or a titanium two-hitter, but no.

His father passed his tobacco pipe down to him when he passed and since Nanami liked the taste of tobacco even more than Mary Jane, he uses it exclusively for his celebratory bowls.

What celebrations he might break it out for is an engagement announcement, baby announcement, death of someone, and/or birthdays (under certain circumstances)

His favourite type of edible is gummies. They're easier to eat without leaving a residue in his mouth, and its not overly sweet.

He'll definitely take his edible in whatever way you want to make them, but he doesn't have a big sweet tooth, but he'll eat anything you make for him.

"Hey baby! Welcome home!" You smiled wide as your boyfriend walked into the kitchen. "How was work?" He smiles at you, immediately brightening his day. "Not so bad now, Angel." He pulls you into his chest for a quick hug before he realises what he smells. Marajuana and sugar flood his nose after he realises its there. "What ya making, sweetheart?" you can see his nostrils flare slightly as he takes in the smells. "Just some chocolate chip cookies for you. wanted to try a new recipe and since we have that trip coming up soon, I thought that now would be the best time to try it. They should be ready any min-" you were cut off by the timer on the oven, you pull the cookies out and let them set. Two hours and two cookies, for each of you, later and you are relaxing in each others arms on the couch with a random movie on in the background. Both of your eyes start drooping as you slowly drift off in each others arms. Maybe you only need one cookie next time. This recipe is really good.

Toji Fushiguro

This man right here, is the king of stoners.

Bitch is broke because he spends all his money on upping his stash.

He ONLY smokes blunts and wraps. Mofo will pack that shit tight.

And know that he will be using the stash he dropped on his couch two days ago to fill in the gaps.

He can't afford to let any of it go to waste.

He has a four compartment grinder and he waits until he's done with his oz to open the kief collector and smoke a kief only blunt.

He smokes in the morning, during the day, at night before he sleeps, he'll even wake up in the middle of the night and roll another blunt.

Expects you to have your own stash if you wanna smoke with him, no charity cases with him. Even for you, pookie.

Will smoke in a group setting, but he not sharing, and he's the only one allowed to roll.

Rolls fat dubies that take forever to smoke because he packs those shits hella tight.

Makes sure his shit burns slow to make it last.

Toji grumbles under his breath as you make your way down the street, towards a shoppe you wanted to stop by for some time now. "You don't have to come in, babe. Just stay out here, ill be just a second." You smiled sweetly at the tall, fit figure looming over some poor kid that was sitting at the bench closest to the store. The kid instantly booked it when he realised Toji was going to sit and wait for you. He waits deadass two minutes before he gets impatient and pulls out his smoking case, pulling a pre wrapped blunt from the sleeve, holding it in his mouth like a cigarette as he flicks his lighter, carefully lighting the dark brown blunt. He's half way done with it by the time you return back to him, bags in your hands. "See you couldn't wait for me?" You look at him with a fake pout. He stands, taking your hand in his and walking towards your shared apartment. "This is the blunt with just my stash. We can crack our shared one open at home. Then maybe I can crack something else after with those clothes in your bag." He snickers as he pulls one side of your bag open to see a set of lingerie. "Who said I bought this for you?" you snicker evilly as his eyes darkened and stayed silent the rest of the way home. You knew what you were doing, and he knew it too.

©RhaenZokla

Part 2? Let me know!

Thank you for reading!



#jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo #geto x reader #suguru x reader #Gojo x reader #Satoru x reader #Satoru Gojo x reader #suguru geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen kento nanami #Kento Nanami x reader #Nanami x reader #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai Likes People

Ok. So this is probably not the analysis you think it is. I'm not going to talk Dazai's dynamics with specific characters - I think that's better suited to personal interpretation and I've kind of already gone over my thoughts on Dazai's close relationships starting with this analysis here.

Instead, this is more about Dazai's thoughts on human beings in general, which, admittedly, can be a little hard to parse. There's a variety of thoughts on this amongst the fandom, ranging from the one extreme of "he loves people" to the other "he doesn't care at all".

This is merely my own thoughts on the matter. I don't know if this fully counts as an analysis, but I hope it at least sparks some discussion or helps piece some things together.

As you might've gathered from the title, I lean towards the idea that he likes people. There's always been things he's liked about people, as a matter of fact, but I think the nature of what he likes about them has changed across his development.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Dazai's development as a character is, rather than a behavioural shift, instead based on his changing perception of human nature, and the value found in human connection. His methods are largely similar, however, the thought behind them and the direction they're given is different.

I'm going to be jumping around a bit with the timeline, so here's the core ideas in advance just so it's easier to follow.

Belief #1: "People are stronger in groups than individually." This has not changed across his character arc.

Belief #2: "There is a divide between myself and humanity that cannot be broached." to "Some of that divide may not be as wide as it seems." This development is still ongoing and key to his overall character conflict.

Belief #3: "Attachment is an incomprehensible motivator." to "Attachment is a reliable human drive." Take a close look at how his plans change as he ages.

Belief #4: "People just can't stop killing each other." to "There is beauty in the fighting human spirit." This one is a bit more conjecture based on hints in the story, but I think it holds some weight.

Belief #1: Groups over Individuals

This point requires very little explanation. If you look at the intro to the DHC conflict, linked here, you’ll find that he actually says it outright.

"What's more, you underestimated the power found in organizations. Humans are stronger in groups than they are as individuals. That's just the undeniable truth, Mr. One Man Army."

Again, in Stormbringer, Dazai confidently says the following:

"This is how the world works. It's an absolute truth no matter when or where you go. Groups are stronger than individuals...There's strength in numbers."

This is a canonical belief of his that he holds very strongly to, and at a young age at that. This is a primarily logical value to place on others. It's interesting though, because it goes beyond just "strength in numbers".

His further dialogue in the DHC prologue has him go on to respond to Shibusawa asking if the reason he joined the Mafia had to do with the strength in a group affirmatively. It ties in quite interestingly with what he tells Odasaku in The Day I Picked Up Dazai as the reason he should consider joining the Mafia, and Oda's own thoughts on the organization.

If one of their members is attacked by an outsider, they will turn into a row of fangs and bite the enemies.

"If you join, you will no longer be bothered by anything from your past. Because no past can touch that place."

He's said to speak with some pride about the organization in this scene. It's not just about strength. It's about safety. It's about knowing someone has your back. It is, ultimately, about trust.

So, really, it's no wonder that Dazai thrives in, and is honestly at his best, when working in partnerships.

The comfort in partnerships appears to have come rather quickly to Dazai in Fifteen; he works seamlessly with Chuuya after only a few minutes planning and is much more "alive" than in the previous scenes. We see a similar level of confidence, even unusually brazen cockiness, when working with him again in chapter 31. Dazai also works fluidly and has incredible faith in Kunikida, which explains their flawless teamwork in Entrance Exam.

He appears to be at his most confident when he is working with someone else. Look at these facial expressions.

So, it's no surprise that his response to crafting a way to protect Yokohama... is to create another partnership - this time between Atsushi and Akutagawa. And it's clearly not just for ability complements, but also some kind of genuine belief they have what it takes to support each other, if Chapter 84 and Beast are any indication.

It's about trust, in your partner and in your group. It always has been.

Belief #2: The Divide from Humanity

This divide comprises much of the fundamental core and conflict of Dazai's character - his disconnect and alienation from "humanity".

Again, this is not something I really have to defend - this becomes readily apparent to anyone who is the least bit familiar with the author's actual work, No Longer Human, from a cursory read through the manga, and is really quite obvious in the light novels, especially Dark Era, Fifteen and Stormbringer. As of now, it's still an ongoing aspect to his character, and if Oda's words are to be believed, he will likely always struggle with this disconnect to some extent.

However, there's a difference in how this aspect manifests in his dynamics with others across time.

Initially, it is a little like Dazai is unclear on how he differs from others; he only knows that he does in some way. He responds to Mori asking him why he wants to die with genuinely innocent confusion on why one would find worth in living, and responds to Chuuya stopping him from shooting the body with surprise and a simple admittance that not doing such a thing would be the "normal" way to think, before laughing it off.

By Stormbringer and Dark Era, Dazai is all too aware of what is "different" about him - that is, his apparent inability to connect with others in a meaningful way. However, I need to stress that this distance is also at least partially self-imposed. Dazai has internalized his differences from others, his lack of humanity, and decided to put up a front of being some inhuman mafia monster. Think "I am a man hated by righteousness" before repeatedly firing at Akutagawa.

Even with this initial uncertainty, there's one thing he's been quite clear on as different since the beginning: his high intellect, and he wields it like a weapon, appearing somewhat proud of at least this aspect of his distance from others. He's almost cocky about it, complains of boredom, and usually becomes interested in people when they sidestep or outright defy his predictions. It's something we see quite a lot of in his Mafia days and also a little in Entrance Exam. While he appears to grow more attached to people who live their lives in the midst of seeming meaninglessness than those who observe from the sidelines the way he does, he also comes off a bit envious in the same respect, especially when younger.

In some way, I wonder if this doesn't mirror Mykola's envy of those who "don't know they're stuck in a cage", in that sort of ‘how do people not see what I see’ kind of way, or 'if they do, then how can they deal with it'. Dazai’s intellect is rather like a double-edged sword - while it allows him a distinct advantage in prediction he enjoys, it’s likely also a strong contributor to his loneliness and separation from others, much like Ranpo. However, while Ranpo externalized his issues and thought there was something wrong with everyone else, Dazai internalized his and believed there was something wrong with him, which unfortunately caused him to isolate himself even further, rather as a self-fulfilling prophecy regarding the next point.

Dazai is a bit odd about his perceived inhumanity, because on one hand, he wields it when necessary much like his intellect, but on the other, he is almost dismayed by any reminders of his differences from "normal" people, even a bit hurt. A prime example of this is in the Dead Apple prologue, at Chuuya's "no one would believe that" line, but can also be found to a lesser extent in certain interactions in Fifteen, Dark Era, and Stormbringer. A lot of the complexity in Dazai's character comes from this juxtaposition - the mental superiority vs the human inferiority. So, he feels isolated in two ways: one is intellectually, which he tends to see as an advantage, and two is a bit harder to narrow down, but roughly has to do with the nature of the human self and its connections, for which he feels lacking.

Interestingly, Dazai seems to regard people with similarities to himself as threatening, and even gets uncharacteristically direct about how he is going to stop/kill them (Fyodor, Q). An interesting case occurs in Entrance Exam. Entrance Exam is really valuable for looking at Dazai's character because it is very much a transitory period for him, and there is one part in particular close to the end that gives me chills, both in the action and the implications of the action.

I am, of course, talking about the part where Dazai arranges Sasaki's death.

I'm going to expand on this later on once I do my analysis focusing on Sasaki herself, but her and Dazai have some pretty notable similarities between them that I heavily believe Dazai was aware of close to the end. For now, the most important similarity is the way they manipulate others - Sasaki's selective distribution of and often misleading info created situations that encouraged most of the people she contacted to act entirely on their own accord but also in the exact way she intended, without her having to do anything herself. This is quite eerily similar to the way Dazai tends to operate (though I'd say in his case with a bit more finesse that comes from Mori's strategic training).

And Dazai... he arranges her death using this same method. He kicks the gun, Rokuzou picks it up and shoots her out of revenge - and Dazai didn't have to do a single thing.

"She killed too many people."

So have you.

"That was the only way to save her. This was the best we could've hoped for."

........

I think I'll just leave it at that. There's a lot more to this complicated situation that deserves a thorough analysis of it's own, but I do think that the only means in his mind to save an empty, apathetic person who was responsible for too many deaths was to kill her says quite a bit about his mentality at that point.

But that appears to be changing.

I loved that Asagiri confirmed that Dazai's words to Kyouka in Chapters 34 to 36 are genuine. He's being probably as close to honest as we've ever seen. And we know this, because who shows up?

Why hello, Odasaku silhouette. Dazai knows full well how similar Kyouka and Odasaku are - their situations, even their dispositions, I'd say, and the way the both of them seem to unwittingly trigger character development in the people around them lol. But there's more to it than just that.

"Every person has their good and bad points, and your bad point happens to be killing. That's why you think you can't become an Agency member. That's just stupid."

"No one can know everything. That's what possibility is."

"You are not the only person with this kind of distress."

"Why do we fight? How should we live on? There is no one who can tell you the answer. All we have is our right to waver."

None of this is something I'd expect Mafia Dazai, or even Entrance Exam Dazai to say. This is someone who, from my perspective, has the barest, slightest will to live on.

"No one can know everything." In spite of his intelligence, in spite of his eerily accurate predictions, this admittance means that his perception of that intellectual distance is likely somewhat decreasing. He's still on a tier far above most other people... but he's closer to them than he is to a god. He cannot know everything.

It's similar to what he tells Sigma in Chapter 105.

"It's all a play of hands. I'm not a superhuman beyond the limits of human wisdom."

The emotional gap may also be closing a little. I think fondly of Dazai's dry "Don't you have any friends?" to Shibusawa in Dead Apple, then following up Shibusawa's dramatic 'I understand everyone so much that everyone bores me but don't understand myself' spiel with "You wouldn't be saying that if you had friends." Dazai really said friendless behaviour, pfft.

There's also his "I wonder how Kunikida-kun is doing~!" in the prison and his internal (and I thought oddly fond) comparison of Sigma to Atsushi.

Still, though, there is a significant gap in the way he removes himself from other people. Even as Dazai affirms his belief that it is the people who fight through uncertainty and live and breathe within it that create the greatest change, he still excludes himself from that category, placing himself, alongside Fyodor, above all others yet paradoxically inferior in the ability to enact real influence, sitting alone in a prison at the end of the world.

Belief #3: Attachment as a Motive

"I see... so it's all for your partner. Betraying the Mafia, spreading rumours about the old boss's resurrection, this fight we're in now... it's kind of hard to believe, to be honest."

Dazai, in his earliest appearances, seems to underestimate the drastic lengths people will go to in the name of the people they care about. The above line to Rimbaud, after he reveals he did all that he did to find out what happened to Verlaine, indicates that while he does understand bonds between others, he fails to grasp how that could be so incredibly motivating - whereas by contrast, Chuuya understands it instantly.

In fact, earlier in Fifteen, Chuuya's assistance is assured by Mori's capture of the Sheep members, which prevents Chuuya from harming anyone - Mori weaponizes this attachment and responsibility Chuuya has to great effect, and points it out to a bemused Dazai, who doesn't... really care. Dazai seems much more intrigued by the growing strife between the Sheep and their leader, and amusedly pinpoints Chuuya as a "sheep getting stared down by a wolf", before intentionally ramping up the tension. Dazai weaponized the cracks that were already showing between them, and while he seems to have started to acknowledge the importance of attachment as a powerful motivator, unlike Chuuya who sees it as honourable, Dazai at this point seems to regard it as a weakness to be exploited.

While Dazai absolutely shows budding signs of attachment himself in Fifteen and Stormbringer, it's nowhere near enough for it to be a key motivator of his own. He runs on logic. His plans are practical, precise and take no chances; a logical strategist much like Mori.

But that all changes with Odasaku. Odasaku's impact on Dazai was undeniably the strongest motivator for change he's had, but I want to talk a little about Dazai's side of things, and his unusual devotion towards his friend. For as much as Dazai is evasive, incredibly concerning, and apparently added some kind of stimulant to a dish he made for the trio without telling them (!?? bro.), when it comes down to it and things get serious, Dazai is, surprisingly enough, an objectively good friend to Odasaku. He gets panicked when he realizes Odasaku happened on Shibusawa during the DHC. He tells him immediately he doesn't need to use the Silver Oracle to ask for his help. He apologizes for killing the snipers in front of him because he knows Odasaku doesn't like killing (even if, at this point, he doesn't know why he holds this philosophy). He arranges for the kids to be hidden in a safe location once it becomes obvious Gide is targeting Odasaku. He tries to convince Odasaku he can find a reason to live, even though he doesn't, at that point, have one himself. He runs to him at the end, even when it is pointless, even when it is not logical, all because that's his friend. And this isn't even touching Beast Dazai, who wasn't even friends with the guy but saw that another him was, and decided he would do everything he did to protect that one person's dream (thereby missing what Odasaku wanted for him, which also, incidentally, was for his friend to live on, but I digress). Dazai is a surprisingly incredibly devoted friend to him. This guy experienced close friendship and it completely changed his perspective, because he'd never had anything like that before. Connection and understanding are extremely powerful motivators. He knows this now. It's in everything he does. The person is gone, but the bond remains, and it drives him to this day.

It's also important to point out that while we haven't seen the turning point in Double Black's dynamic where they went from uneasy partnership to that intense trust, Chuuya is the poster boy for attachment as a ridiculously strong motive for living. His decision to risk everything for the sake of those he has sworn to protect means that Chuuya is reliable. So, suddenly, Dazai doesn't need to make such stringent plans with him - they can be more loose about it, yet still perfectly in sync. "Chuuya is a reliable partner" is not an opinion to Dazai, it's a fact. Attachment as strength, not weakness. I feel reasonably confident in saying he likely learned this first from Chuuya. It gives him the power to persevere through the pain. It's not always fragile. It can be relied on. Chuuya struggles through his life and finds purpose in his bonds with others, and Dazai, both envious and admiring, picks up that he can utilize this in his plans.

Dazai making plans in the Agency is a little different to how he makes them in the Mafia. While there is still hefty reliance on logic and trickery, there's now an extra caveat of social and moral expectation. Dazai makes plans, knowing that people will carry them out because of the kind of people they are. He's making character judgements, not purely logical ones.

While Mori and Fyodor are also capable of much the same, it's rather unlike their methods, as they use attachment, often by leveraging it. Dazai can and does do this too, but notably, Dazai's allies are also regularly left to act in accordance to what they believe to be right without much direct interference - Dazai uses but also relies on this attachment to people and morality. It's odd, because in a sense, it's both an accurate logical prediction and a form of trust. Many of his plans in the present involve people doing what they would have done anyways given their character, but in a narrowed scope that comes from Dazai's influencing of them and the situation. He knows Ranpo will take charge when the Agency is threatened. He knows Atsushi will risk it all for his friends and family and people who remind him of his younger self. He knows Kunikida will never accept lives being lost if there is something he can do about it. He, highly unfortunately, knows Akutagawa will do anything to gain the recognition he seeks.

It's odd, because while undoubtedly still a manipulative tactic, he also has to know, for certain, that these people will act on their morals, drives, and bonds, otherwise it quite literally would not work. Is it manipulation? Is it trust? I lean towards both. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that Dazai finds at least some value in attachment (even if he, again, still largely detaches himself from pure expressions of this kind of motive - Odasaku was the major exception).

When Fyodor says people are sinful and can't help killing each other even when they know they're being manipulated to it and Dazai replies with yes, and? "What's so wrong with that?"

The way Chuuya wins against Verlaine, because he cared for people and Verlaine, in spite of everything, had at least one person he didn't want to let die. The way Gab might not have met such a tragic end if he'd had the chance to connect the way Atsushi had. The way the isolated Sigma ultimately falls, and Tachihara finds new purpose and drive from his conflicting bonds that should've weakened him but instead gave him conviction.

Attachment can be a foolish thing. It can be logically irrational, and in certain cases leaves one vulnerable, but it's not inherently a weakness. It can also be the source of incredible strength and perseverance. Human connection is the beating, bleeding heart of this series. The Agency barely took a breath after being framed before they were preparing to hold their own and prove their innocence - because the Agency meant something more to them than just a workplace. It's their place to belong. They rally to protect it and each other, just as Dazai knew they would, and he, too, is taking great risks to protect it.

Which brings me to the last point.

Belief #4: Beauty in the Fight

Fyodor and Dazai are foil characters - they are intellectual equals, and their methods of thinking and planning tend to be very similar. However, motivation-wise, they are very different - Fyodor says things like the above, clearly with a low opinion on most others. While Dazai agrees with the statement, he disagrees with the sentiment.

"What's so wrong with that?"

But I'll be honest: I don't think he always felt that way. In fact, I suspect he used to feel similarly to Fyodor when he was younger.

In Fifteen, Dazai describes the situation with the Sheep as similar to the "Undercooked Meat Theory" to Rimbaud, which acts as an analogy for violence - everyone wants to eat more of the meat, so one takes it earlier to get more than everyone else, then another takes it even earlier to get more than that guy, and so on and so forth until they are all eating undercooked meat. Here are some key points from that conversation:

Dazai: "If one person stops, he alone will end up with less meat than the other two. Therefore, each of them is trapped, forced to eat the undercooked meat and nothing else, even though all three know that perfectly cooked meat tastes much better."

Dazai: "It explains at least half the misery in the entire world."

Rimbaud: "I see... in other words, since everyone pursued what was best for them, they couldn't achieve what was best for the group..."

Rimbaud: "Violence and war are not necessary for survival... if everyone agreed to stop fighting and banned all weapons - then violence would be no more. But that isn't realistic. No matter what, someone will break the rules to get ahead of the rest... everyone else... would have to maintain their stance on fighting back only when provoked."

Although Dazai expresses his interest in the criminal underworld as a "thrill", there's cause to believe this dog-eat-dog world is something that Dazai himself personally does not like. After all, shortly afterwards, when Chuuya crashes onto the scene and proclaims that "the strongest always win", Dazai disgustedly says,

"It's people like you who turn the world into undercooked meat."

In a way, it almost reminds me a bit of what Teruko proclaims about what a rubbish society it would be if those with the strongest violence always ended up on top. That's her purpose, as a Hunting Dog - to use violence to stop criminals - but violence to maintain order is still violence. Violence begets violence, but you can't just not defend yourself in a world that wants to hurt you. And so the world goes round, and people still kill each other, often quite needlessly.

It seems both Fyodor and Dazai shared the mentality that people are all the same, self-centered and out to protect themselves at the cost of others; sinful, boring beings. Except Fyodor, a more proactive person, decided he was going to try and fix the problem. Dazai, prone to inaction, did not... and saw nothing interesting in the world worth living for.

"It explains at least half the misery in the world." I wonder, does it explain some of Dazai's misery too? He appears to be drawn to the Mafia, not because of the violence in itself, but because of the honesty with which it is approached. You know what you're getting, with organized crime - there's going to be crime, and death, and murder. The proximity to death is a removal of the veil of social acceptability; the mask over the world - Dazai is hoping that by getting closer to the cruel world's "reality", he'll be able to find that something that the people around him would kill for in order to live.

Unlike Fyodor though, who still sees people as boring for their foolishness, Dazai apparently seems to find them interesting by this point. What changed?

It's worth noting that even though Dazai genuinely thought Chuuya was just an arrogant, violent kid before the confrontation with Rimbaud, in an earlier fight scene, Dazai goes breathless at Chuuya's battle prowess. That sheer display of life and energy and raw destruction is something captivating to him. And that's interesting, because that fight there was one he had just previously been deriding Chuuya for starting - it was pointless violence, to him - and yet, he can't help but watch.

So, when the Arahabaki reveal happens and Dazai suddenly realizes he'd been mistaken about Chuuya, it triggers a shift. Chuuya wasn't looking for power. Chuuya was looking for himself.

In Fifteen, Dazai is intrigued by Chuuya's situation. In Stormbringer, Dazai is invested in Chuuya's story.

Once again, Dazai watches Chuuya fight as he relinquishes control to use the full power of Corruption, carefully watching the progression of it all. When Chuuya turns fallen angel, Dazai says to himself, "That's Arahabaki's - that's Chuuya's true form." This incredible show of strength is not just the result of a raw power. This is the will of a human who has something worth fighting for. Chuuya is not a blank vessel for Arahabaki. Arahabaki is Chuuya's to wield. This is all Chuuya, through and through.

Chuuya, caught in the act of dying, in a last-ditch play that could easily be a self-sacrificial one, surrounded by death and destruction, is nonetheless fighting with all the life within him to defend the lives of his people, with the symbol of his stubborn will to survive (that is, Arahabaki, the singularity that should've killed him) on full wrath and display. To the death-obsessed kid who wanted a reason to live, who did not see why people would fight so hard to live on, such a sight would be breathtaking.

Dazai is drawn to the people who struggle through hardship, and the ones who rebel in the name of valuing life. He becomes interested in Ango when he finds the reports he made on the DHC dead, that he made to preserve their lives even without Mori's permission. Dazai does not want to compromise Odasaku's morals, and is deeply fascinated by the juxtaposition of his Mafia status and his no killing rule, though he doesn't pry for the reason. With Kunikida, much as Dazai does not care much for ideals, he sees how Kunikida keeps on pushing through against every setback and horribly cruel reality check, and I honestly think he respects that.

Then there's this bit when Atsushi has just succeeded in getting Q's doll safely to Dazai after the curse on Yokohama.

"It was your spirit that emerged victorious."

He likes it when people succeed. He wants to see people triumph, against all odds.

I find it fascinating because Dazai becomes most invested in the aspects of the characters that we tend to get invested in - we, the readers, which makes a lot of sense given his consistent observer status. The story is never actively about Dazai, but he's always there, watching others' stories unfold, growing fascinated with the struggles they face and the development they undergo, and feeling pride and admiration when they learn to overcome.

But the tragedy in Dark Era in part was a vicious reminder that the story impacts him too, no matter how much he tries to detach himself - to become invested and connected is to open yourself up to the inevitability of getting hurt. But it's also in this struggle to find balance that we are open to make change, and to live.

Fighting to save a life - even and especially when that life is just your own - there is beauty to be found in that fight.

#hi hello here is the meta i said i'd write two months ago ✨ #i hope it is coherent. i really need to stop writing these at 3 am. #bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #<-i guess lol #bsd dazai #storyrambles

[mail-me-a-snail]

kicking my legs in the air. tell us more abt silvervance i am fascinated with whatever they've got going on

i mean. god where do i even begin.

so first off there's their main tag where i put all the posts that even vaguely remind me of them............like there are posts in there i would not show to my irls let alone god.

anyway. silvervance is the ship ever. they're both products of arasaka's influence, whether thru their own free will (in vance's case, or so he'd like to believe) or otherwise (in johnny's, vis-a-vis his eponymous prosthetic arm). they both manufactured their identities for an audience wider than themselves. they both recognize this similarity between them.

when vance came back 2 life with johnny in his head, he saw himself in johnny and he didnt like what he saw.

but as u know, in game canon, vance had no choice but to suck it up and bear the ghost's anti-corp, anti-capitalist, anti-night-city, rambling. oh woe! woe! is johnny silverhand, night city's last rockerboy turned co-pilot for arasaka's missing asset.

the thing is. the thing is. with everyone telling vance that the best course of action would be to excise johnny--with hellman telling him point blank that its not possible as well--he doesn't want johnny gone.

johnny becomes second nature to him, more than just a poltergeist who offers him snippy quips and lame one-liners. who likes annoying the hell out of him or who likes making him laugh by doing bits of physical comedy that johnny knows only vance will see.

he just grows to have so much. affection for this man. this man loser who he wishes he had known when things might've been simpler between them.

in the hypothetical good ending for silvervance where they get their own bodies, they're gonna move out to some colder state, somewhere that snows. they're gonna move as far away from local civilization as possible. but they're still gonna find merc work together because neither of them are quite suited to a domestic life.

they take each other's poisons when they finally separate; vance grows wolfish and snarky and johnny goes quiet and smiles a little too much like a dog, lips curled over his teeth. vance is brash and a risk-taker; johnny is loyal to someone other than himself for once.

they'll eat each other alive one of these days. they could not think of a better set of teeth to do it than one that so closely resembles their own.

in my heart n soul i know they find each other in every universe. not that they will happen upon each other; that they'll actively look for the other, not knowing who it is they're looking for at first, but just knowing that there is someone out there for them. i don't usually like throwing the term soulmate around but it's something a lot like that.

they'll find each other in the corpo rat au, they'll find each other in the father vance au, they'll even find each other in the ending where vance stayed with arasaka. there's no separating them and it drives me bonkers. insane, even. i wrote four fics in a haze for them bc of how much they drive me up a wall

anyway ty for the ask <3

#asks #silvervance #vance #johnny silverhand #ANNYYYYWAYYY #they have freaky wireplay sex btw as well #my art #i literally cant refer to them individually bc they would do the SAME THINGS TO EACH OTHER #AURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[thissugarcane]

this has nothing to do with either of the fics I should be writing AND YET--

I can't ever come up with a happy post-canon canonical scene because I don't know if I believe that the story, as it was written, has one.

~

"You remember when Justin's dad kicked him out?" Brian slurs.

Ted sips his sparkling water with lemon, surreptitiously checking the message from Blake: <em>don't worry stay with him wake me up when you get here</em>.

"Ted?"

"Uh, sure Bri." Ted focuses on his very drunk boss and very morose friend. Not that he's let anyone else see him this brooding; no. He's putting on a good front for everyone else.

(Another drunk night, he'd explained the reasoning: he didn't want anybody reporting to Justin that he was going off the rails and needed Justin to come back. Which was sad for a whole other set of reasons.)

Ted shifts on the fancy leather couch Brian bought for his office far more for style than comfort. "He kicked your ass outside Babylon as I recall. There were dirges played for your black eye later that night."

"Christ. What an asshole," Brian mutters. "Even then, I knew he'd outgrow me."

"What?"

Ted watches Brian stare off into the distance, eyes blank. (He's been doing that a lot lately: blanking out his expressions. It's worrying Ted, and Cynthia, and it would be worrying Michael if they were close anymore the way Michael thinks they are.)

"Justin," Brian repeats, as if it's stupid for Ted not to follow the conversation Brian's having mostly in his head.

This is how a lot of their late night work nights go, these days. You'd think it would mean Ted might've gotten better at deciphering the few words Brian says, but alas, no.

"Justin... you thought he'd outgrow you?" Ted repeats, confused.

"I knew he would. And he did. Christ, who wouldn't be proud of him for leaving?"

Now Brian sounds a bit wistful in all the slurring. Brian puts his half empty glass on the designer coffee table, ignoring the coasters. "Come on, Schmidt. Time to leave."

Ted can't say anything. It's ludicrous to think that Brian believes this when he's sober. It's... just the alcohol.

Brian gives him a bit of a smirk, a ghost of his usual expression. "I'm fine, mother."

Ted wants to argue -- categorically the one thing Brian is not is fine. But if he argues, next time Brian will just drink alone.

So he says carefully, "take a cab, all right? For me."

"Ugh," is Brian's only response. But he puts away his car keys. It's really all Ted can do about it.

They walk out of Kinnetik together, and as they part ways -- Brian to his cab, Ted to his car and then, Blake, sleeping in his bed -- Ted feels like he's failing as a friend completely. But he doesn't know what else to do, short of calling Justin for an intervention... and he knows that's one thing Brian won't forgive.

#queer as folk #britin #my fic

[scintillyyy]

jack for ask game please xD

whew, okay, last one <3

Headcanon A: realistic

jack regained most of his mobility following the poisoning in haiti, but he still has lingering effects. his hands have a tendency to tremble. when the weather gets cold, he gets stiff and his nerve pain acts up. he has some balance issues. he probably should use the cane more than he does, but it makes him feel like an old man, and just reminds him of everything that happened that he wants to not think about--he just hangs on to dana for balance, instead. he starts keeping a cane in his car again after he finds out tim is robin and he starts getting therapy, he also finally starts working through some of the things like his wife's death that he has been avoiding thinking about for the past few years, and getting through some of that makes the idea of needing a little help a bit easier for him.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

he's not a trekkie or anything, but star trek was his favorite show as a kid. he loved the adventure/exploration aspect of it. his favorite movie was the swiss family robinson. as he grew up, he moved onto other interests like football, but he always had a fondness for scifi and adventure stories. if he had shared any of this with tim, they might've actually found they had more in common than they thought. but jack tended to want to try and bond with tim how his dad bonded with him: fishing. and thus set the stage for a father-son pair that was so close and yet so far.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

jack was hit by his own dad growing up. and he loved his dad, always insisted that his dad was just a hard man. but he also swore he would never treat his own child the way he was treated. and he did do much better, it just wasn't enough. jack was unable to see the ways in which he failed his son because they were different than the ways he was failed by his own dad.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

the reason he fell in love with dana is because dana made him feel safe. after two kidnappings, one of them from his own home, he was deeply afraid and traumatized. when dana came along, and cared for him, and listened to him--really listened to him--and he was able to finally confide in someone about his fears and insecurities after everything he went though, he couldn't help but fall in love with her. why wouldn't he? she took care of him. and nothing bad happened to him while he was in her care.

#scintilly ask tag #lafoget #tw abuse mention

[righteousslaughter7]

Since I really enjoyed theorising about Franklin's faith and spirituality, here's my unsolicited opinions on Michael. I'll get around to Trevor next.

My headcanon for Michael's heritage has always been that he has an Italian-American mother and an Irish-American father; probably because I watched Goodfellas too much during my formative years. I think the Irish heritage is pretty much canon as he has a few tattoos hinting at it. Speaking of tattoos, he also has some faith based ones including a Virgin Mary tattoo, so I definitely think he's from Catholic stock. He probably wasn't raised as strictly as Franklin, but given the one bible quote we get out of him, I think he might've been sent to sunday school for a few years as a wee lad. I can see him being absolutely fixated on a painting of Saint Sebastian, not knowing why but still feeling immense shame for it. The lightbulb moment only coming years later when seeing a shirtless and bloody Trevor Philips. Though I don't see Michael as actually having faith in what he was being taught, I can see him maybe attempting to latch back onto the culture after his deal with Dave Norton. He had all these notions of being a better father and might've even considered getting Tracey and Jimmy confirmed. Hoping that the church community would be a good springboard for their new life in LS. He never went through with it, of course. He suggested going to church once, shortly after they arrived and was met with a firm "fuck no" from Amanda and the kids; and that was the end of that. He chose the path of least resistance.

I picture Michael as wearing a crucifix necklace; a gift from his mother when he turned 13. That and his wedding ring were the only things that survived the purge of his wardrobe for his rebirth as Michael De Santa. He hides it under his shirt most of the time, as staring at it too much reminds him of his multitude of sins; particularly his betrayal of Trevor and the crew. The word "Judas" is one that haunts his consciousness, especially on the days when the guilt is too much to handle. When Trevor actually calls him that it hurts far more than he lets on.

When it comes to Epsilonism, I first sign up after Michael's family leaves him. I get him absolutely plastered on whiskey before heading to the website. It's not so much that he's looking for a new belief system, he's just trying to better himself, but does it in the most dumbass, cliché rich guy way ever. It's bullshit and he knows it, but at this point in my roleplay of the game he's hitting the booze heavy. He's barely sleeping and is almost at the point of mania. it gets to be a bit of a sunk cost fallacy situation. In the end he robs them; of course he does. You can't keep Michael Townley buried forever. He probably gets drunk afterwards and tells himself he's a good Catholic boy for ripping off the evil cult. His ego's way of protecting him from the truth that he genuinely wanted it to work and magically fix his problems.

Post game I headcanon Michael getting more into yoga with Mandy and starting to meditate. But for him it's not a spiritual thing at all, he's very utilitarian about doing these things simply to keep limber and to try and control his anger. He's basically agnostic, but the Catholic guilt? Hoo boy, that never goes away.

#Grand Theft Auto V #GTA V #Michael De Santa

[the-bloody-sadist]

#we don't support peer preasure in this house

Love your hashtag above.

Can I ask how do you deal with hurtful comments on your fanfics from someone you consider a friend? Like I know if some stranger send hurtful comments it felt bad but damn when someone you know said the same thing it felt worse. Early this year I was kicked out and blocked from an animanga lover group when they find out that I wrote mlm fanfics from major shounen series (naruto,bnha, aot, jjk). This what they said :

“I'm convinced you must have never had friends before because all of these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is. If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga. Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...."

What do you think? Even until now, I'm still feeling a bit guilty for liking non canon mlm and wlw ships from shounen series. But when I found your blog and read your posts, I felt way better. Especially that answer of yours to anon who asked is it weird to love mlm& wlw more than wlm. Thanks for sharing your hard work (analysis, fanfics, arts, reviews).

Sorry for my rants and for my weird feelings.....

Ohhhh this is so precious please don't apologize for sending me this ask, I love feelings and hearing about other peoples' experiences with them and how my art/accounts have somehow been relatable because of that.

The peer pressure in fandoms is absolutely insane and convinces me that the social aspect works the same as any high school full of bullies. There WILL be mean girls, there WILL be cliques, and if you're a creator like me, you're going to be a MAGNET for like ten different types of them.

As for how I deal with hurtful comments, I was raised in an environment that constantly shamed me. I was controlled from all sides on what I could draw, write, and consume, so I'm used to being shunned by those who "love" me because of what I'm interested in! Because of this, the hate comments were what I EXPECTED going in and the positive comments were actually the things that threw me for loops. Hurtful comments only had the power to nag at me when I didn't have an audience (or friends) to bounce them off of so they wouldn't keep popping up as a "do I actually do this, though?" "am I actually bad for this?". But now they don't bother me; they give me the chance to either make a troll reply or spice up my friends' group chat for the day.

As far as a FRIEND leaving a hurtful comment??? I have so much sympathy for you. I am SO sorry they treated you that way.

When I make friends, I tell them openly what I do and to what extent. This way, I gather the type of people I want and push away those who don't. If they think it's not okay, they're silly.

Those friends who kicked you out of their little club? SILLY. They think they're so pure and moral for gatekeeping what can and can't be done with creativity and passion. They won't ever know what it feels like to live as freely as you do. In the end, their opinion is an opinion that is largely not shared by the logical, rational public. Any professional in the art/film/writing industry can tell you that much. How else are we supposed to make stories? Have a little IMAGINATION!! DAMN!

I'm saying a lot of this because it's the best thing to tell yourself when you read things that are clearly meant to make you feel shame when you haven't done a single thing wrong. Since this is Tumblr and I can ramble to my heart's content, maybe it'll help you if I also point out the specific tools that have been used in that message they sent you. Sometimes a good breakdown of tactics is all it takes to remind yourself you're not in the wrong.

"I'm convinced you must have never had friends before" AKA "you're so ignorant" - invalidating your experiences to crumble any foundation you might've had to stand on if you wanted to argue back. Starting off with this helps them cut you down so your self-esteem is lowered.

"these relationships are perfect depictions of what PLATONIC friendship is" - their opinion is being stated here as a fact, as if the entire world agrees with them and there's no other way to see it. First of all, this means NOTHING to the shipping world, since it exists largely to turn friendships into romances. Idk what they wanted to do with that one.

"If you want a gay story support ACTUAL gay couples like in BL & GL manga" - I'm not sure what kind of burn that is. SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES LIKE THE REST OF US!! Okay snuffledumpkins. Guess nobody taught them how to MULTITASK!!! GUESS WHAT? I CAN SUPPORT ACTUAL GAY COUPLES *AND* NON-CANON GAY COUPLES, FREAK! WHAT NOW, HUH??? Being serious though, this is an attempt to define for YOU what ''''''true gay couples'''''' are (ACCORDING TO THEM), when this is an entirely fluid meaning and can be applied to whomever you'd like in fiction. This is THE PURPOSE OF FANFICTION.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to see people move mountains for a non canon ship that’ll never happen then ignore actual gay manga’s and anime’s in BL & GL anime/manga...." AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! (inhales) AAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH imagine being so stupid that you don't know how much better LGBT representation can be in fanfiction and non-canon works than in actual BL/GL works. Imagine thinking that the only way you are allowed to enjoy BL/GL relationships is through canon couples, otherwise you're not helping the cause. Here's the biggest thing to remember: they don't give a fuck about the cause. They are using that language as a way to shame you. Oh you think these friends are in love??? You must not support LGBT people in real life. You must not support ACTUAL stories about ACTUAL gay people.

The logic jump is LAUGHABLE.

Ughhhh, what a long rant from me. But your last paragraph absolutely WARMED my heart, minus the part about feeling guilty. Let me just...[shines spotlight down on you][metal screech][picks up megaphone] YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG FOR WANTING FICTIONAL FRIENDS TO FICTIONALLY FUCK EACH OTHERS' BRAINS OUT!!! YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS MATTER, HOWEVER, ARE VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND SHOULD NOT BE INVALIDATED, BECAUSE BULLYING IS A DIFFICULT THING TO DEAL WITH AND CAUSES VERY COMPLICATED FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOUR FICTIONAL PREFERENCES DO NOT DEFINE YOU. BE FREE, LITTLE BIRDIE! SHIP THE MASSES OF BOYS AND GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT ANIME LOVES TO TEASE ON PURPOSE WITHOUT ACTUALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH A ROMANCE SUBPLOT BECAUSE THEY'RE COWARDS!!!! THEY CAN BE ACTUAL GAY COUPLES TOO! BECAUSE YOU SAID SO! AND THAT'S OKAY!!!!

[puts the megaphone down][coughs]

I hope that helps. :D Thank you for the ask, and much love to you! It means a lot that you appreciate my work and my analyses and my opinions enough to ask me about such a painful subject.🖤

You are, in fact, quite normal for your opinion, and my entire audience would agree.

#sadist’s answered asks #THE MASCULINE URGE TO BEAR HUG SOME OF MY ASKERS #a lot of you guys need some better friends #never be afraid to block rinse and hunt #by that I mean like #block people who don't deserve your attention #rinse your mind of their FILTH! #and then hunt for actual cool people #like me! no just kidding I'm so stupid #I AM the doofy who knocks #also stop reading these hashtags

[dededaio]

alright, so, to go along with my battle system concept for a kirby rpg, i also started thinking the story. it was pretty much inevitable. so what do you think i cooked up?

i think it's inevitable that first kirby rpg should tackle the mirror world. it's going to be either a completely original story (pretty plausible move) or something that has roots in concepts from the mainline series but also can stand on it's own without confusing new players.

the mirror world is perfect for this because while it has just enough substance and history to provide decent backstory for some stuff in an rpg, it's also underdeveloped and vague enough to work as pretty much original setting and source for new characters. it will please nerds like me and you who care about kirby canon, while also will be accessible to newcomers, since it's easy to "reintroduce" such in-depth concepts in more story-driven game without it feels obtrusive or pace-breaking.

at any rate, my idea for the story of the game basically lies in two distinct halves. one of the main appeals of the kirby narratives in mainline platformers is that they always have some sort of twist, and i don't want an rpg to be an exception to this.

game's initial conflict is centered around dream land and surrounding areas on the planet popstar being invaded by the inhabitants of the mirror world. the game begins at the celebration of the day of kirby's arrival in dream land. this is where kirby, while relaxed, can interact with a lot of future party members and important npcs. one of the visitors at the party is taranza, who brought some sort of gift to the occasion.

only it turns out that this is not actually taranza we know and love, but DARK taranza, an evil doppelganger of the spider we all know and love, who brought an elongated version of the corrupted dimensional mirror. it just so happens that all cast members and a lot of minor and major npcs happen to look in the mirror which turns out to be a huge mistake... they all get reflected and their shadow, dark counterparts emerge, with the only goal in mind: to replace them in the world that isn't corrupted the same way the mirror world is.

dark taranza and his cronies (which include the likes of dark meta knight, shadow dedede (shade) and dark bandana dee to name a few) seem to be the main antagonists of the game and they pretty much are for the first half of it. but as you liberate areas the shadow folk from the mirror takes over you slowly but surely learn that truth, that they are being manipulated. a lot of shadow people aren't actually as bad as the first impression might've suggested, they are deeply flawed and broken people, but they do still have some compassion and goodness deep down inside of a lot of them.

truth comes out, shadow and dark versions of the characters aren't inherently "evil", they simply reflect their worst qualities. but just as the main versions could grow past them into better versions of themselves, so are shadow versions. after the fight with dark taranza, we learn an awful truth, he's been manipulated by greater evil.

the corruption in the mirror materialized in the being far worse than even dark mind from kirby and the amazing mirror was, turning into the lord of judgement, person who embodies all sins of people who ever looked into the mirror. he set his sights on taking over the world beyond what being trapped within broken magical mirror could offer, so he used vulnerable shadow folk as his pawns. however, it's too late, everything is played right into his hands, a lot of people on popstar looked into the mirror, feeding him their worst qualities and sins, making him stronger, he gets out of the mirror and slowly but surely starts taking over the planet, corrupting it bit by bit.

the only way to reverse it is to go into the mirror world proper and destroy his core, this way, the mirror's corruption and the lord himself might go away forever. there is however is also danger of the shadow folk disappearing too, as they are also by-product of the mirror's corruption.

basically, yeah. something like that. basic crux of the plot not mentioning all character arcs of the main party, side-quests and other details. this is just to get the gist across.

#klu.txt

[hazyerrors]

What do you think Fresh’s childhood (if he had one) was like?

It depends! If ya go based off AlainaPrana Fresh origin comic on DA. I'd assume probably really bad, but I'm not sure how canon that still is because it was never finished, but she did mention the original story concept was by CQ.

So going off what was made! and my own ideas of where it could've gone!

in scenario A, I think his childhood was in a lab mostly, I'd assumed that the human have expectations, Fresh was their experiment in some way, so it wouldn't be that far fetched that they might run harmful tests on him, regardless of them being alive and feeling pain, and perhaps having some acknowledge of existence? the human would probably want more acknowledge about him regardless if they knew Fresh was a parasite at that point.

And Fresh first instinct from feeling pain would probably be fear of death, so In my opinion Fresh you know, would react to those badly and perhaps attack the human in self-defense. So say than the human dies or Fresh takes them as their first host,

Okay but now what? Fresh is new to the world and 'killed' the only other alive thing he knew? They're a strange unique creature, everyone who come across him would be scared, and Fresh would probably immediately get attacked out of fear of the unknown.

And Fresh doesn't have any one to teach them anything, so as CQ mentioned in this post.

Fresh is very naive, probably easily used. which is in my opinion is also implied here-

So It'll make sense that they would start to emulate others behavior to protect himself partly because he learned the hard way to never trust anyone.

But you could go back to the comic with another idea- scenario B, The human did seem really excited about Fresh gaining consciousness, So maybe they acted as a parent figure, and it actually was nice for awhile.

Like maybe they taught him anything they thought would be important for a parasite, (which goes along with him not knowing about sex/love, the human may had thought- why would parasites need to know bout that when they reproduce asexually) but maybe still by instinct from some incident the human died/was used as a host, which brings us back to scenario A ideas.

And you then scenario C, maybe it was a mix of of both the other scenarios.

All three scenarios could also work with why Fresh thinks their better than everyone else, scenario A Fresh only saw the worst in others, and scenario B The human might've acted like they themselves were smarter than others being a scientist and all.

Short answer! I think it was spent in a lab with a human that run experiments on them until the human died/was used as a host, then Fresh had to learned everything in life the hard way from there.

Keep in mind that I probably haven't seen every post about Fresh, so there might be posts by CQ that contradicts everything I just said lmao.

#did i take this ask way too seriously? yes #freshbrainrot #fresh!sans #fresh sans #abuse mentioned #death mentioned #ask to tag #my headcanons #fresh headcanon #hazy talks

[valeriefauxnom]

Another episode of 'missing the forest for the trees' by taking things far too literally

And today, it's models! Specifically, Euden's models, who, when I was talking with WillofWinnie and showing how the Mega Monarch Emile fight had a mini model cutscene before, some with funny expressions looking up at him, when I could have sworn I saw something.

Gala Euden's model seemed to be tinier than Euden's. (No don't worry, this isn't going to be more of the whole 5'1 semi-joke line here from earlier!).

Here's a good example of what I mean, with 3/4 of his models in a line.

See how Base Euden just, overall has a bigger frame? Than the other two. Like, his curiass more juts outward, whereas G!Euden's plate actually cuts inward to him at a spot. So then, naturally, I laid the two on top of eachother to see if one actually had a bigger presence or if my eyes were playing tricks. And while the results aren't definitive, I think base Euden has an overall bigger 'influence'.

Euden's entirely subsumed his G!Euden's face, not even some of the weird expression clipping you see when you do this with some other models. The actual main part of his torso is base Euden, and while G!Euden does peek out in some spots, even they kinda get overtaken by some of og!Euden's decorations, like the orange stripe on the cloth. His legs are also almost all og!Euden.

The scales tip even more for a comparison to Bondforged vs og:

Now, here's where I give the obligatory, "there's a far more rational explanation to this than a deliberate decision" in the form of helping the game run better as well as getting more experienced with creating models with more detail in less space. Take a look at the wireframe for og! and G! Euden's models. In general, less lines mean better performance (or so I understand in my very minimalistic coding understanding)

(Pictured: the nightmarish Euden you can see at 3am only on Halloween if you turn around and say 'triangle Euden' 3x over...)

It's kinda hard to tell, but Gala Euden overall is a bit less dense with them in spots. WillOfWinnie confirmed that overall it seems like they got better at making wireframes with fewer vertices (though summer Euden kinda throws that out the window because, as Winnie says, more skin=harder to look good with fewer lines as the lines=/smooth, round areas well).

So there's the rational explanation for that. And of course, throw in possible stylistic shifts for how they wanted the models to look and we can pretty much put this to bed instead of a grand conspiracy.

Still. Overthinking is my hallmark.

And all I can say is that it's great unintentional angst fodder that would fit nicely within the canon story. Euden's suddenly been thrust into leading a new nation in war, reeling from his only surviving parent's death and struggling to deal with the rest of his siblings for one reason or another (even if most weren't close). He's also doing vastly more exercise than whatever sword training he did at the castle between actually fighting in battles, traveling, and shapeshifting and thus expending a lot more energy.

Between that and other little differences in the models (Euden actually gets paler for his summer art and continues this into Bondforged, as you can kinda see in the face for og vs bonds overlay) is it any wonder that he might've grown a bit thinner from all that stress and constant work? My boy is out here collapsing a bit too often, it seemed, in stories too. Maybe he just wasn't eating enough to upkeep with all the crazy shenanigans going on if he was trying to temper his eating so Cleo didn't have to deal with yet another young man with the appetite of an elephant with Ranzal and Luca?

As me and my friend were injecting a bit of levity: "Maybe that's why his belt fits perfectly in his og model but all the ones after it he's got plenty extra" and "no wonder his summer trunks look like they're about to fall off without the belt: he went shopping with his previous last known sizes from before he left the castle" as further 'proof' of this obviously false theorem.

But hey, as Winnie said: "Pretty neat it can line up like that, intentional or no". And that really says it all.

Bonus round: Gotta give the award for 'most unfitting belt on Euden' to this concept art of him in the official artbook, though. I mean look at they are compared to where his body actually is! (I do like the little butterfly in the background crystal art though, aside from the whole black vs. white and red edginess).

#dragalia lost #dragalia #somehow all the concept arts of Euden give me very different personality vibes. More on that later. Probably. #anyways this is stealth 'Euden was terrible at self-preservation' propaganda since goodness knows he sure had. some concerning patterns.

[froggyworlds]

im late and cant think of specific questions but tbh i have not really been following the plot of infinity catalogue cause idk that show so asking for a run down on it

sure thing!

basically it's an infinity train crossover. if you don't know the characters, dw I'll explain them. note a lot of things are still pretty loose atm

so! the train is this giant magical... thing, basically, and if you have issues it kidnaps you from reality and puts you through a series of tests n such until you get better. you get a magic glowing number on your hand that goes down as you get better, and when it reaches zero the train sends you home. we don't actually know a ton about it in-universe because the show was canceled :(

anyways! Gabriel ends up on the train (they're human in this au) and says "fuck that. I don't want to get character development, I'd rather hack into the fabric of reality to get myself outta here." so he hijacks the train and tries to find a way to get off. during this he creates Six, either by hacking an existing denizen (denizens are the intelligent creatures that live on/were created by the train) or just programming a new one, and yeah that's what that is. (note: he also probably does some other shit because he's power hungry and he's got issues.) while trying to get off, Gabriel either intentionally or accidentally creates this universe's equivalent of alternates, which them proceed to escape the train! oops! and Gabriel ends up getting partially uploaded into the train's systems and,,, yeah

Mark still gets locked in his room by alt!Cesar, but when he opens the door he isn't greeted by a shadow monster, he's greeted by the train and figures "well, this is weird as fuck, but can't be worse than here!" and hops on. there he finds some of Gabriel's discarded stuff and realizes he might be able to use the train to bring Cesar back (Six might've put that idea into his head. maybe.)

since they never found a body, it's still assumed that Mark died. and because they all have issues, Adam, Jonah, Sarah, and Thatcher also end up on the train at some point, though I haven't fully hammered out what they're all doing. Adam and Jonah go on the train at the same time, but Adam's number doesn't glow and occasionally shows weird symbols instead of numbers. they slowly try to figure out how to get their numbers down, but it doesn't really happen until they get into an argument and... some other things happen as well.

Adam's still an alternate in this au, and, well, they work a little differently than they do in canon. in the show, there are these freaky creatures called ghoms which suck people's life forces! (it is... not pretty.) and during the argument, Adam almost does that to Jonah. he catches himself just in time, but Jonah still runs off because holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy fucking shit-

very briefly, Jonah's number goes down to zero, but then it zooms back up again. he runs into Sarah a little while later, and all Sarah's been doing is taking her anger out on every denizen she comes across, so her number's been steadily getting higher and higher. aaand that's all that's been planned so far! but Mark being on the train is important, Thatcher comes in eventually, etc. only fun happy times on the Therapy Train!!

#infinity catalogue au #mythic's aus #the mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue au #adam murray #mark heathcliff #sarah heathcliff #jonah marshall #gabriel tmc #six tmc #thatcher davis #infinity train #infinity train au

[broken-clover]

oh? Don't like Tamers? It ain't my favorite either but usually people like it, any particular reason? Or is it like me with 02, just a general dislike you can't place?

Huh, amazed to realize I haven't actually aired my grievances with it on here before. Peculiar.

So this is absolutely going to turn into a long post, apologies in advance, but the ultimate thesis of fundamental issues I have with Tamers is that it sets out to be a dark deconstruction of a 'Mons series but does very little that's interesting or compelling with it.

(Full disclosure, most of what I have seen of Tamer is the dub version. I have seen a few portions of it in its original Japanese, but not all of it. Due to that, it is entirely possible that some of my issues with the season are better addressed there- however, I have also been told that Tamers was the most faithful dub done thusfar with very little changes made)

I'll try to format into bullets for the sake of cleanliness

-First and foremost, one of the main differentiating factors in Tamers compared to prior seasons is supposedly that Digimon do die when defeated as opposed to being reborn. That's supposed to be a lot of what makes this season 'dark' but I can't help but find it flawed. Characters dying was already pretty important to the first two seasons, even when it came to the Digimon themselves- heck, Wizardmon by himself was one of the most impactful losses in the series overall, and he was never reborn due to having died in the human world. It's hard to feel like this is such an abrupt change to the status quo when it was present in the first season. Not to the same severity, sure, but it feels like far less of a brazen change.

-(Even without straight-up permadeath, the other seasons were still able to have plenty of threats and terrible fates! Even if they would come back later, characters dying was still something treated with weight and sorrow instead of being brushed off. I know it's heavily opinionated, but just having 'and then a character dies' as the end-all be-all bad end starts to feel dull and uninteresting after long enough. I feel like a similar example to this is with the dub version of Yu-Gi-Oh! Shadow Realm jokes aside, it at least offered something a little different as opposed to the more liberal use of killing in the source material. Limitation breeds creativity.)

-In general, I'm just not a huge fan of Konaka's style. That's much more of a personal thing than an actual issue. I think he tends to rely more on atmosphere and dark motifs rather than substance. It feels sort of like his style is an actual example of the mentality that 'Evangelion and Madoka Magica are just edgy deconstructions for the sake of being edgy' that is still alive today, despite the fact that both examples use that deconstruction to say something and make a point.

-(I feel that his work tends to lack a similar sense of substance in Tamers. It's also very hard to not bring up his increasing fixation on conspiracy theories and rallying against 'political correctness' and 'cancel culture' over the last decade or so. While I know those don't overtly tie into Tamers, in hindsight it's easy to see some of those themes in a slighter sense, and in general it just sours a lot of his work in hindsight)

-Explicitly making the first two seasons fictional in-universe made little sense to me. While I don't have an issue with that fundamentally, it's that it completely borks up the timeline when Ryo gets introduced later and how any of that is supposed to work just never gets explained or clarified

-Actually yeah on that note lemme skip ahead and talk about Ryo. I know sixth ranger-types that get added later are common to this series but in my opinion he's easily one of the worst implemented. He might've been neat as a cameo, but he instead ends up being a main character for the last leg of the series. He's a canon foreigner from the Wonderswan games, which only so many people would have been familiar with, but neither his presence in Tamers nor the plot of the Wonderswan titles are given much explanation to get newcomers up to speed on who he is or what his relevance is. He's just kinda here

-He also doesn't really do much to make up for his late introduction and lack of explanation. Really it mostly feels like his main role is to be good at everything, especially in regard to being the one guy that's better at the card game than Rika. While I know a lot of her character development was about learning humility, a lot of that had already been done by the time he showed up, and it feels like an underhanded way of making her appear weaker.

-The cards. I think it could've been a half-decent series gimmick, I mean Xros Wars did something similar and kept it consistent, but that consistency was lacking in Tamers and led it to feel half-baked. The cards served a purpose in a few instances, mostly for evolution, but the modification aspect feels poorly integrated and isn't really used much in the latter half of the season

-The Digital World isn't majorly developed in the story. Which sucks, because I really liked the approach they took to it! It was distinctly different from the Adventure series', being more alien and unsettling. We get information on how it was formed, but I felt it lacked a lot of punch given that we see so little of it.

-The whole arc with the Devas just kinda...stops. We get 90% of the way through and follow them into the Digital World to confront their master (or at least one of them) and then the fight just gets cut off. If we were just gonna be able to have a peaceful resolution and collaboration with Zhuqiaomon anyway why did we go to the trouble of building him up as an antagonist and slaughtering several of his minions. Are none of the Devas especially bothered that several of their underlings just died? Are we going to analyze any implications of their deaths instead of just brushing them off?

-I do love Calumon, I thought his antics were cute, but fundamentally his main purpose was to be a plot trinket.

-Kazu and Kenta were mostly useless to the plot and didn't have much character development, there wasn't much bonding between them and their partners, MarineAngemon was pretty overpowered and it's not explained why a side character is the only one to have a Mega-level as their default partner.

-There are twice as many secondary characters as main characters and almost none of them get much character development. Many times while watching I would think to myself 'why are you even here'

-I think Jeri's arc was interesting in theory, but implemented a little oddly. I felt like her main purpose in the series was to have bad things happen to her and there was a point partway through the D-Reaper arc where it started to feel excessive. I don't understand the point of psychologically tormenting a 10/12 year old for several episodes straight to the point where they try to kill themselves on-screen. She was simultaneously very important to the final arc of the series but does very little of her own volition aside from being a prisoner in need to rescue.

And don't get me wrong, there are things I think the season does very well! I liked Impmon's arc, I like the smaller primary cast allowing for more interpersonal moments and a closer bond between tamers and partners, while also giving the 'Mons themselves a lot more fleshed out personalities compared to the past two seasons (in particular both Rika and Renamon were highlights in term of character development by themselves and with each other), I like the heavier use of computer motifs, and I'm not wholly opposed to the darker tone it tried to go for.

But I think a decent amount of my dislike comes from the sheer amount of praise this season gets. I'd be fine accepting it as a flawed yet ambitious offering that offers plenty of its own original flair, but I constantly see people call it the 'best season by far' pretty much entirely because of its darker themes. I feel it tends to get overhyped for its 'grittiness' despite not implementing it all that well or feeling like it does much meaningful with that darker tone aside from using it for shock value. To me Tamers symbolizes a lot of the internet's tendency to go 'darker = more adult = inherently better than something more 'childish'' so that tends to sour my view of it quite a bit. I just wish its flaws were looked at more often, because I feel fans tend to be a lot more critical of the other seasons and Tamers doesn't get that kind of scrutiny

#suicide tw #oookay that did get long my bad #I am unnecessarily opinionated again whoopsie #I've just seen way too many condescending Tamers fans over the years #I'm sure plenty of them are perfectly lovely #but just let me enjoy 02 and frontier in peace I know they're jank as hell #I'm not here for fucking mozart I'm watching Digimon #ask #digimon #digimon tamers

[jess-the-vampire]

Jess. help me out. do you recall anything the svtfoe crew might've said about trans girl Marco ever being an actual thing in the show?

*Cracking Knuckles*

Good to put my svtfoe crew knowledge to use again

Alright, so obviously when St O's Aired back in s1 that whole headcanon started gaining traction and was getting pretty popular, and the crew did take notice of it.

Apparently it's popularity had a lot to do with the Princess Marco episode tackled later on (Princess Turdina i believe), y'know, the one that ended up making the fans more angry then anything?

Apparently it was written with that heacanon in mind and the crew was open about this, it seemed they wanted to confirm it kinda but obviously it got muddied and considering the plot of that episode was that marco was "Lying" about being a princess because "He was actually a boy" it didn't really hit with the princess marco peeps, giving off the impression they were leaning into the false and rathewr offensive narrative that trans ppl are just lying.

Some ppl did like it as a trans metaphor tho, like how the princesses didn't care and told marco he could be whatever he wanted.

But also like, the ep ends with him complaining about the dress and being happy to remove it (For now)

I don't have the tweet on hand obviously, but the initial backlash did get some apologies from the team who clearly realized they may of not tackled the subject the best of ways.

truth be told if the ep hadn't been written with the trans marco theory in mind it might of come off better but it clearly was, so if it doesn't work for you i can see how it came off how it did.

as far as other occurances, i think the most came from Crew Member Sabrina Cognitio (I am probably spelling that wrong, super sorry), who not only was outwardly supportive of it, but constantly was responsible for trying to sneak in pride flags into the show for characters.

Obviously marco was one of them, he was supposed to have a turdina doll with a trans flag dress, but disney ("We totally support the lgbts but we're also gonna cancel and cut all lgbt stuff we make" Disney), naturally, caught on and made her change it, even when she apparently had reduced it to just the purse that was still too much for them.

As far as i've seen the crew was pretty supportive of this headcanon and it seems they really tried to lean into making it a thing, even if through metaphors and subtley to get passed censors, but it never got as far as you see here.

marco's va i have never seen comment on it personally tho.

i don't know if daron personally considered it canon, tbh the lgbt headcanons the crew threw out into the show (Like giving tom the pan flag for example, or star the bi flag in some shots) seemed to be their personal ones for the characters, but granted for all we know daron could have agreed to them and was not allowed to be outspoken on them (I do remember her approving of bi star).

As far as trans marco goes, marco being a trans girl to sum it up feels like something maybe originally unintended, but when the fans picked up on it and saw themselves in marco, they wanted to lean into it and try and semi make it canon, but it never went far enough to really be considered canon to most of the fans.

Personally i've written marco to be genderfluid in my sky au because i like to lean into him being somewhere under the trans umbrella, but marco being trans never got to be as universal as bi star or pan tom, and maybe if they actually got that flag through it'd be a bit different.

it is a shame tho, they had good intentions, but it didn't work out.

There are still trans marco fans out there tho who still enjoy that headcanon and on occasion i still see art for it, so hey, good for them. They're great stuff

#svstfoe #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #marco #marco diaz

[tired-reader-writer]

For the character ask game: Hilmes numbers 12, 16, 23 and 24 if you feel like it, plus anything else you wanna talk about for him?

The character ask game is here, if anyone else wants to participate!

12. Sexuality hc!

Personally see him as a disaster bi that, once he falls for someone, falls hopelessly. If it weren't for his trauma and entire situation he might have a better chance of expressing it, lol.

16. A childhood headcanon

I headcanon that he was just beginning to pick up learning an instrument before the fire, he was... more creatively inclined back then than he is right now, his rage has drained him of anything to spare for art and creativity. And I also headcanon that he might've planned to pick up an instrument for his mother, though I am not sure of the timeline. She might've passed away sooner than I think.

23. Future headcanon

Pushing canon aside far, far away, I have two paths in front of me: speculative headcanon set in canonverse, or I could answer for Wolfpack.

Screw it, how bout I answer both? :D

For the canon-adjacent-but-still-divergent category, we have a Hilmes who surprise! Did not push Zandeh away and instead confides in him about the truth of his lineage, and of course Zandeh is unbothered by this. He is loyal to Hilmes and always will be. Irina doesn't mind either, he is Hilmes, he is the man she loves, and that's what matters. Through a series of events I have yet to parse out, probably includes raising an army via Irina's claim (news must've reached Maryam that Irina tried to assassinate Innocentis and damn well near succeeded, and she is the last of their royal blood), gaining allies, and things actually going kinda well bc he's not shackled by an alliance to the Lusitanians, getting rid of fucking Bodin, and taking over Maryam and ruling there. Sorry Guiscard, you should go back to Lusitania. I wanted to give Hilmes a chance for a do-over, this time not for his own ambitions but for Irina, her family, justice for her, a way of atoning for what he indirectly caused. And I'd like to think he's gone through some growth so as to become an actually decent ruler who will keep growing. Could I also see them living a quiet life away from all that nonsense? Yes! But I'm also fond of this idea for inexplicable reasons. I like the idea of him dedicating his devotion to his beloved (who knows, maybe it ends up in a poly relationship), setting things right, and actually giving the Maryami some damned peace bc I can't imagine living under Bodin's reign being easy.

As for Wolfpack, he ends up Shah of Pars, he doesn't have his coronation right away, opting to fix the immediate problem of Ecbatana's food and water shortage, though he has to have a coronation sooner or later bc he does kinda need it to solidify his authority. But it's a means to an end rather than the end itself, he recognizes that there's so much to do, that things just don't end with him getting the throne. So he works. And while under any other circumstance this would be out-of-character for Hilmes, in this AU he does eventually end up believing in the abolition of slavery for a couple of reasons: firstly it was always meant to happen, if only Kaykhusraw hadn't betrayed the clan it would've happened three hundred years ago, this was long overdue— secondly he is constantly influenced by Arslan who he claimed as a retainer. Arslan knows how to temper him, and Irina... oh Irina, she's a gentle soul, and during her stay in Gorgan let's just say she got influenced too— and she in turn would influence Hilmes.

After his coronation, after things settle a little (suppressing rebellions from pretenders and all that) he visits the haunted Temple once again, this time to hold a ceremony to appease the spirits, to apologize, to put them to rest. And who knows, maybe he catches a glimpse of a silver-haired boy with eyes the same colour as his, snow-white glows on his skin, laughing as he fades away.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

This is hard to answer bc he's already practically drowning in secrets in canon, LOL. I would just think of an answer and go, “wait that's an actual thing he kept secret in canon, fuck” so uh you're probably gonna get something outlandish and stupid for it, like that he actually knew jack shit about carving and whatnot, he just learnt it in a rush, practically speedran it just so he could show off to Irina, LMAOOOOOO

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #wolfpack au #winds of wolfsong #hilmes #ask game #thank you for this!

[inklingofadream]

Your latest chapter of the cult au made me think of a question - if Gerry wasn't around to explain the fears when Jon woke up at the beginning, what would Elias have told him?

So I actually had this planned out, because I didn't know for a bit whether I was going to go with it, whether Jonah was going to get a chapter in that chunk of the fic, etc. But then I decided I hate writing lengthy exposition that's already happened in canon (and can't be easily broken up). Also this got SO long.

Jonah, given his druthers, would've combined the approach we see in canon and the approach he tries to backfill after Jon is caught post-escape. The Eye would not have been positioned as equivalent to the Web- most people in the cult don't think of it that way, either, but Gerry does for obvious reasons. Jon would've been given a view of things that positioned the Eye as above the Web, as a protective force against the Web, and a positive thing to have in his life. The Institute would've been pitched in the way that it's pitched to non-cult academics, and a bit in canon. More the kind of place that has some self-imposed responsibility to gather and neutralize the threat of Leitners, as in the complaints in MAG 4 that he thought they had mopped up all the loose Leitners.

Obviously this... wouldn't quite have worked. Assuming Gerry was kept from spilling the beans, there are some significant flaws in the approach, flaws that became part of the equation the second Jonah decided that kidnapping was the way to go. You can say that the Eye is Good and Helpful, but the first fact in Jon's head is going to be "the Eye is why they kidnapped me." I don't think Jonah would've been so ready to add the love stuff to the mix. He would've eased Jon into it with an approach borrowing more than he'd admit from fantasy stories with Chosen Ones. Jon had to be kidnapped because he's Important; the whys and hows can wait until he's adjusted a bit, or if Jonah's really lucky bought in.*

*This was literally never going to happen. University student Jon? Might've bought in in the more conventional recruitment sense. Kidnapped Jon? Is going to opt for "crazy", not "hey they have a point." And the odds are never better than 50/50, "this is weird and reminds me of my Traumatic Backstory" is just too powerful a motivator.

You may have noticed I'm only talking about the Eye and the Web. That's because the Web is only part of the conversation because Jon has past experience with it. The Eye is Special and Unique and Good. Hypothetical non-traumatized Jon is just reacting due to cultural conditioning, the same way people moralize against ugly, weird, and gross animals. It's not based in actual fact. (kidnapping is, Jon probably yells at this version of Jonah at some point, a definite Fact!) If it was up to Jonah, other Entities probably wouldn't enter the conversation until Jon's significantly bought in (or given up on arguing with him). That says the case to the point that the exception would be something like Annabelle taking Jon for a walk regardless, something unpleasant, frightening, and categorically Not Jonah's Fault. (at least as far as Jon can tell)

The eventual goal is to get Jon to comply by threat of force... just not from Jonah. The groundwork would all be based on Jon's experience with the Web. The Web is evil. The Eye is good. They both think Jon is special- if that kind of experience were common, wouldn't he have heard about it? Wouldn't there be public health campaigns about checking your child's books for bookplates? It wasn't the random chance of an uncaring universe, and it wasn't setting Jon up for a canon-style harbinger of the apocalypse. By the time he plans on Jon knowing anything like real statistics on Leitner prevalence, on how common genuine encounters of any type are, he's bought in. It's because Jon is Special. The Eye is good. The Eye wants to nurture him, because he's so Special. The Web is bad. It wanted to kill him because he's so Special. Subsequent Entities are vague "evil of all types" and properly introduced via this framing, particularly when they've had an avatar as a guest, or when things from Artefact Storage are "accidentally" where Jon will come across them.

I think it works, in so far as it makes Jon afraid. The cult kidnapped him, but besides that, they haven't really hurt him. And there's a LOT of lovebombing going on. And everyone else Jon meets agrees with Jonah's framing without reservation. I think Jon accepts the idea that this isn't good, isn't nice, but it is safe. The cult put in such hard work to keep [insert encounter here] from happening. It's just that now that Jon knows he's Special, evil forces are trying harder to hurt him. If the cult did nothing things like that would be happening almost every day. They happen once a month or so because they work SO hard to keep Jon safe.

This is what most of the cult members more or less believe, anyway. Not scaring Jon with talk of other Entities is easy to justify, and they're all appropriately horrified when he ends up having encounters anyway. They back up all the outside=danger talk because they've all either joined up in a passion, never been there, or been there after living inside the Institute for their whole life. If you throw someone that isolated and inexperienced into London, they are more likely than not to come back with "It sucked! It's so dirty! It's loud! It's dangerous! I almost got hit by a car!" etc.

The exceptions are Jonah, Gertrude, Gerry, and a little bit Michael. Michael is less agoraphobic than most of the rest, and doesn't have much experience with danger either spooky or otherwise, but isn't prone to questioning the cult without significant motivation. Gerry isn't allowed around Jon unless he can keep it to himself, and Jon isn't necessarily motivated to seek him out without Jonah getting so angry he's afraid Gerry's dead. The other two obviously keep their mouths shut, and have the ability to go into Artefact Storage when everyone's asleep and work on orchestrating their next Bad Time for Jon.

Jon doesn't entirely buy into the Eye = good no matter how long he's there, though. His own experiences are just too compelling, and he's smart enough to see how little difference there is between it and the rest. But I think he does become too fearful to try to escape eventually. He slips out and Sasha brings him back, but while he's gone the open door provides an opportunity for something terrifying but not damaging to sneak in. Suggestible witnesses swear up and down that Jonah and Gertrude weren't responsible. Do that once, and it's an obvious lie. Do it a dozen times, with just as much evidence against the truth, and it's harder to tell. Add in an unusually high rate of Web artifacts, and Jon stops caring about the truth. Either he really is in that much danger, or Jonah isn't above subtly punishing him with his worst fear. And then he's Bound and can't leave anyway. Humans will believe all kinds of weird, illogical, harmful things if they're constantly in survival mode.

#cult au #writing #feedback #asks #ink post #tma