#am i dysfunctional because i can't stick to first or last names for everyone

[emmatriarchy]

Witches Unleashed - 11 to 15

Change pronouns, names, etc as you need. (other memes)

"I hate sleep, too many memories await me there." "Are you asking me to dance, or did you need something?" "Come on now, spit it out." "I'm sorry! Forget I said that. You're safe with me." "I'll forgive you this time." "Sometimes the boys can get a little aggressive, you know?" "It's ever so reassuring to know you're here to keep me safe." "If anybody gives you guff, you ask for me." "We don't tolerate that kind of thing here." "You're looking good, daughter." "He lied like some people breathed." "Whatever you want, the answer is no." "I'd rather stick my head in that blender over there." "The brave knight comes to the rescue? How delightful!" "He's not worth it. If you toss him out, he'll just make more trouble." "You don't have to put up with this garbage, you know?" "Son, this pretty little girl could rip your head off. I think your chivalry is a bit misplaced." "I've always had a bit of the devil in me." "What will it take to make you go away for another five years? Or ten? Can we go for ten this time?" "Honestly, our family is so dysfunctional. I think we ought to try therapy." "Honestly, that's the worst plan I've ever heard. What are you thinking?" "It's not my call." "I ought to hunt them down and give them a lecture." "They don't like you any better than I do." "That's your game? You're losing touch, old man." "Running is going to get you killed." "I do wish you'd let me help." "You're going to do that out of the goodness of your heart? I don't buy that for a second." "I wouldn't insult you by pretending that my concern is anything but self-serving." "You've got nothing to offer that I want." "Long ago, I stopped wishing for your approval or affection." "I spent years trying to please everyone but myself." "Sounds like last night was wild, even for you." "I'd like to hit the road before the traffic gets bad." "What I have to say might change those plans." "I'm so glad you're here to explain these things to me." "Does anyone really know the difference between a second cousin and a third cousin?" "I'm pretty sure that question was rhetorical." "If we leave, it doesn't matter whether X is on our side or not." "You remember what happened the last time it got out." "Never trust a big butt and a smile." "I wouldn't trust X to babysit a pet rock, but he can be counted on to do what's best for him." "I can't help if you leave me behind." "Cracking jokes and keeping secrets isn't going to get the job done." "How stupid do you think I am?" "you want to charge in blindly without admitting that you're afraid in the first place." "It's my job to protect you from things like this." "So, what's the plan?" "I can't decide if I'm excited or terrified, to be honest." "Remember, I'm an idiot." "He doesn't look like the kind of man you'd want to tangle with in a dark alley." "You want this, don't you? Come and get it then." "In the Olympics fo pain, I'm a gold medalist. Is that the best you got?" "Now I don't want to tick you off." "If I have to sacrifice my own happiness to save them, so be it." "Just what do you think you're doing? You can't abandon us like this." "This isn't what it looks like!" "You're underestimating us!" "I knew you'd be too stubborn to listen, so I snuck off." "I don't expect you to understand." "I've known that since the beginning, but I don't hold it against you. It is what it is." "Let me go. It's the only way to save you." "I like him. I'm gonna send him a nice fruit basket." "I'm not leaving because I don't care. Quite the opposite, in fact." "I don't even know if I wanted to do half of the horrible things I've done." "I'm not apologizing for that again. Honestly, are you gonna bring it up every time we argue?" "Quit stalling, or we'll end up getting arrested." "If you leave, I won't be able to hold it together." "I'll die someday anyway. I rather do it when I actually like myself." "You don't ever do half measures, do you? You just go for the throat." "Variety is a good thing."

#sentence starter #meme #rp meme #ask meme #ask prompts #rp ask meme #inbox prompts #my meme

[wolfprincesszola]

Spencer Reid at the Pool HCs

Hi, I’ve come out of my hermit hole to post something else before shelling back into it. Since I recently started to swim again to pass this swim test I have to do for my summer school, I was thinking about headcanons and for some reason, Dr. Reid was the first one to come to mind. Hope you guys enjoy! For more, please check out my masterlist, fandoms, shared blog, shared blog discord (anyone can join), and requesting rules. If you want to request, please feel free to request on this account or on my shared blog. Thank you and have a great rest of your day! ————– Trigger Warnings: None

Content Warnings: None ————–

As a Friend

He doesn’t like going into swimming pools because of two reasons

The first one is more prevalent but he always says how there are “so many germs in the pool” and how he doesn’t want that anywhere close to him

The second one is that there have been way too many cases of drowning in a swimming pool, so he wants to stay out to prevent himself from any danger

No one in the team really pushes it until you join the BAU

You move into a new apartment complex that has a sick swimming pool

You ask everyone if they want to join in on the fun on a day after a really hard case

Knowing that everyone’s kinda tired of cases and deserves a break, Hotch almost forces everyone to go

Spencer goes begrudgingly with swim trunks but doesn’t plan to go in

Everyone KNOWS he has a crush on you and they watch him crack and almost bend as soon as you ask him if he’s going to join you guys in the pool

He still refuses and he almost cracks again as soon as he sees your disappointed look

“Sorry, L/N” He tells you

You realize that he thinks that you’re genuinely disappointed in him and you quickly go reassure him that you’re okay that he doesn’t want to go in

He watches you play with the rest of the team in the pool

While he’s mesmerized with watching you, Morgan sneaks up behind him and pushes him into the pool

(Luckily everything valuable was stored to the side and he was wearing swim trunks)

As soon as he goes it, he sputters and you help pull him up

“Woah, wonder boy, I’ve got you” You almost laugh at how different Spencer looks

“Thanks” He gives a small smile as he clears his throat, standing up

Since Morgan pushed him in at the shallow end, the water only goes up to about his waist

You would like to say you’re completely unphased by the fact that he has to take off his shirt while being in the water, but that would be a complete lie

You get a little flustered, enough for Prentiss to notice but not enough for everyone else to

You ignore the nudges your friend gives you

Spencer decides that SINCE he’s already in the pool, he might as well stay there and hang out with you before he gets out and showers so he doesn’t get sick

Although he does reject the idea of playing any other game, he does give in and play Marco Polo

He’s too embarrassed to say that he doesn’t know the rules when Morgan asks if everyone knows the rules

He doesn’t understand at first and has Garcia start off

She starts saying “Marco” and he looks at you helplessly as you swim away from Garcia

Seeing Spencer’s helplessness, you just pull him along and once you get far enough away you start yelling “Polo” at the top of your lungs

He follows soon enough and after a couple of rounds, he gets the hang of it

He locates you immediately after he gets tagged

It’s a lot of fun

He also plays chicken fight with everyone

You and Garcia team up while Morgan and Reid team up

You managed to push Spencer off SEVERAL times

Mainly because he has no sense of balance and Morgan enjoys watching Reid flub in the water for a few seconds before going to help him

They have no team coordination but at least you and Garcia do

After everyone’s all tired out, you cover yourself with a towel

Spencer catches up with you and you two have a fight with splashing each other with your wet hair

After that day, he is more willing to get into the pool if it meant he got to spend more time with you

As an S/O

You and Spencer don’t have a lot of time to have dates, but on days you do, you try to make it memorable

You ask if Spencer wants to go to the pool and through some convincing, he does admit that he kinda does

It’s been so long since he went and swam, especially with you

He did ask how you two were supposed to do the games you usually do with the group with only two people

You don’t know how to answer that, so you shrug and just go “We’ll see”

When you get to the pool, you notice Spencer has a new swim shirt

“Did you get that just for today, love?” You ask, almost hiding a laugh

Spencer flushes, “I was insecure and didn’t want you to see me shirtless”

It almost makes you laugh as it wasn’t like you haven’t seen him shirtless before

You’ve had to apply tourniquets and quickly bandage wounds on him while he was shirtless

Not only that, but he never had a shirt on before

But you don’t really mind

You just jump in the water and ask if he wants to race to the other side of the pool

He had never been on the deep end of the pool, but you assumed it would be no trouble for a six foot tall man

He was the same height as the water and you thought he knew how to tread water

However, Spencer kept refusing, almost throwing a fit to not do it

After some prodding, he finally admits to you that he’s never actually learned how to swim

You laugh but offer to show him if he wants to

He nods meekly and you first try to teach him freestyle

You make him wear pool floaties just because you think they’d look adorable

You coo over how he looks in the floaties and his unamused face reflects what he says to you “This is condescending”

He knows it’s in good fun though

He gets the hang of the kicking pretty easily but he does look like a 5 year old kid flopping in the water while he does that

You show him the strokes and he almost sinks to the bottom of the shallow end upon trying

You have to hold him up and by the end of your date, he’s able to swim half a lap on the short side of the pool without your help

He does apologize to you since he did take up all the date time but you tell him that this was better than anything you could’ve come up with

“I’m glad I’m able to teach you something. You’re always showing me so many new things and I feel like you’re always the one teaching me something. I’m glad that I can finally return the favor at least one.”

Your next few dates are ones to help him with freestyle and to teach him breath stroke

Soon enough he’s able to race with you to the other end of the pool and he goes to the deep end for the first time

The first time you teach him how to tread water, he panics and almost drowns

He doesn’t go back to the pool for a full two months

However, after some convincing by the whole team, he did finally go back in

The team showed him a better way for how to tread and Spencer shows off his new swimming skills proudly

He’s very grateful for you

As a Father

The first time you guys go to the pool together is when your child is 5

He stays at the very edge of the pool near the staircase with your child

You do go in though

The first few days, your child stays at the staircase as Spencer tries to pass on his knowledge of swimming down

He tells your child everything you said word for word in hopes that your child understands it in the same way he understood it

He does, however, leave out the bits of laughing at the failures and the couple of swear words that you told him that day you first taught him

He puts his feet in the water a couple of times, especially after your child first starts to get the hang of swimming

He will actually kill you if you pull him in, but the day you do pull him in, none of his threats are acted upon

He helps your child with putting on goggles while you help your child with the technicalities of swimming

You praise your child by saying that they got it so much faster than Spencer

You have to hold in your laugh to not give it away that Spencer was death glaring you from the other end of the pool

When you feel tired, you get out of the pool and sit next to Spencer

You and Spencer just talk and hold hands together while you two watch your child endearingly

You make an effort to have those moments every so often, especially when your child almost begs you guys to go to the pool

This was actually longer than I thought it would originally be. It only took up like 3 lines in my notebook when I was first brainstorming it during class.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid Criminal Minds #gender neutral reader #y/n #fluff #i love him <3 #bau reader #reader #agent!reader #derek morgan mentioned #emily prentiss mentioned #penelope garcia mentioned #am i dysfunctional because i can't stick to first or last names for everyone #yes but at least i put the fun in dysfunctional #aaron hotchner mentioned #father!reid #Headcanon